Archive for Hell In A Cell

WWE Hell In A Cell 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open.  Paper Jamz presents Hell In A Cell!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Justin Roberts and Tony Chimel are the ring announcers.

Triple Threat Submissions Count Anywhere Match for the WWE United States Championship: Daniel Bryan (c) vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz.  Miz cuts a promo on the way to the ring bitching about having sand in his vagina or whatever he’s mad about.  He says neither of the opponents would be anything without him.  They try to put each other in holds.  Miz bails.  Morrison and Bryan chase Miz around.  Morrison grabs Miz’s leg and Bryan kicks Miz in the head.  Miz is sent outside again and Morrison and Bryan wrestle.  Bryan locks Morrison in a leg lock and they roll to the floor.  Miz breaks it and rams Morrison into the side of the ring.  Miz throws Bryan into the barricade, then throws Morrison back in the ring and beats him up.  Morrison avoids Miz in the corner and locks him in the Tarantula!  Bryan breaks it with a dropkick and sends Morrison to the floor.  Bryan locks Miz in the Cattle Mutilation~!  That, unfortunately, doesn’t last long.  Bryan proceeds to kick the crap out of Miz and lock him in a leg lock.  Miz tries to reverse it and they kick each other in the head.  Morrison comes back in and hits the Starship Pain on both of them.  Miz is sent outside.  Morrison locks Bryan in a modified Haas of Pain.  Miz saves.  Morrison sends him out of the ring and takes him out with a dive!  Miz backdrops Morrison into the crowd.  Miz and Morrison fight in the crowd.  Miz locks Morrison in a Dragon sleeper against the hand rail.  Bryan shows up and breaks the hold.  Miz beats up Bryan and rams him in to stuff in the crowd.  Bryan goes for a Fujiwara armbar, but Miz avoids it.  Morrison shows up and gets sent into the barricade by Miz.  They end up brawling near the stage.  Miz rams a cart into Morrison.  Miz drops Bryan across the top of the cart and runs it into the ramp.  Morrison jumps over the cart and dropkicks Miz.  Morrison goes for a triangle choke, but Bryan breaks it.  Miz rams Bryan into the barricade, then hits Morrison with the Skull Crushing Finale on the floor.  On the stage, Miz and Bryan counter each others’ finish, then do a double clothesline spot.  Morrison climbs up the set and hits Miz and Bryan with a dive.  Morrison locks Miz in a Texas Cloverleaf.  Cole mentions Dean Malenko, which makes me happy.  Alex Riley saves and takes out Morrison.  Bryan pushes Riley off the stage into a camera man.  Bryan locks Miz in the LeBell Lock on the ramp for the win in 13:35.  Fun match.

Legendary DVD plug.  Ugh.

Orton/Sheamus hype video.

Hell In A Cell Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Sheamus.  They show Orton taking out Chris Jericho on Raw.  Yeah, just keep rubbing it in!  They lock up and push each other around, then brawl back and forth for a while.  Orton clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring.  Orton tries to ram Sheamus’ head into the cell, but Sheamus blocks it and gets back in the ring.  Orton stomps Sheamus and lands a knee drop for 2.  Sheamus hits a slingshot shoulder block for 2.  Sheamus tries to ram Orton’s head into the cell, but Orton blocks it.  They brawl  at ringside.  Sheamus reverses Orton’s whip into the cell, then drops him with a clothesline.  Sheamus throws the steps at Orton, but Orton ducks and sends Sheamus into the post.  Orton rams Sheamus into the cell a couple of times, then hits him in the head with the steps.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus blocks a suplex attempt and front suplexes Orton into the ropes, then shoulder blocks Orton off the ring into the cell.  Inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus stomps Orton in the corner.  Sheamus beats up Orton.  Sheamus lands a knee for 2.  Sheamus exposes the turnbuckle and tries to ram Orton into it, but Orton fights back.  Sheamus lands a Polish hammer to drop Orton.  Outside, Sheamus grinds Orton’s head into the cell.  Why do that shit with no blood?  Why even have a fucking Hell In A Cell match with no blood?  Sheamus front suplexes Orton into the steps.  Sheamus works Orton’s ribs.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus applies a scissored rear chin lock.  Orton fights out and hits a backdrop suplex.  Orton drops Sheamus with a dropkick, then sells his ribs.  They brawl some more.  Orton makes his comeback.  Orton hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Orton hits the 3.0 and humps the mat.  Sheamus counters the RKO and lands a knee to the ribs.  Sheamus brings the steps into the ring.  Orton counters Sheamus and powerslams him on the steps.  Ouch.  Cole calls it a scoop slam because he knows nothing about wrestling despite doing this shit for 12 years.  Cover gets 2.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER on the steps, but Sheamus counters.  Orton pulls him across the top rope and hits the DDT OF MURDER from the apron to the floor.  Orton goes for the RKO, but Sheamus pushes him into the post.  Back inside, Sheamus hits the Irish Curse backbreaker on the steps, which is incredibly stupid since it doesn’t hurt Orton any more but does hurt Sheamus more.  Sheamus hits the pump kick for 2.  Sheamus finds a chair under the ring and pummels Orton with it a bunch for 2.  Orton ducks another chair shot and hits the RKO.  Sheamus rolls out of the ring.  Orton follows outside and goes for the punt, but Sheamus avoids it and drops Orton with the pump kick.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus tries to set up the Razor’s Edge off the steps, but Orton trips him.  Orton hits the RKO on the steps for the pin in 22:53.  Okay match, but it didn’t light my world on fire.  Orton climbs to the top of the cell to pose with the belt.

Bragging Rights hype.  Coming the night after a Lesnar fight on top of not mattering anyway, nobody is going to buy that PPV.


Josh Matthews interviews the NXT Season 3 divas: Jamie Keyes, Naomi, Maxine, AJ, Kaitlyn, & Aksana.  WHO THE FUCK CARES?  The Nexus show up and run them off.  THANK YOU!  Barrett says John Cena will have to join The Nexus tonight.  They have an “N” armband for him.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio says he wants to make his PPV debut special.  They show a picture of the chihuahua from Smackdown.  He wonders who his next opponent will be.  He trashes various Texans.  He “challenges anyone.”  Edge comes out.  He says he’s in a fight against stupidity and parts of Del Rio are stupid.  Del Rio says he’s going to hurt Edge, then winks.  Edge says the wink and the ring announcer are stupid.  Del Rio takes his coat off like he’s ready to fight.  Jack Swagger comes out, pissed off about these foreigners.  He says Edge will pay for his eagle’s medical bills.  Edge decks Swagger.  Del Rio jumps Edge from behind.  Swagger beats up Edge.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  FUCK!  THIS SHIT IS ON PPV NOW?  The iBooker wants Edge to apologize to it on Raw tomorrow night, and makes Swagger vs. Edge for RIGHT NOW!

Edge vs. Jack Swagger.  A referee comes down to start the match.  Swagger beats on Edge.  Edge fights back.  Swagger whips him into the corner.  Swagger works Edge’s leg.  Edge tries to fight back, but Swagger hits a gut buster for 2.  Swagger sets Edge on the top rope.  Edge goes for a tornado DDT, but Swagger counters and drops him with an enzui clothesline for 2.  Swagger rolls Edge around on the mat.  Edge hot shots Swagger into the ropes, then runs at him.  Swagger avoids it and covers for 2.  Swagger either tries a German suplex or butt fucks Edge on the apron.  He locks in an abdominal stretch on the ropes briefly, then slingshots into the ring and gets dropped with a boot.  Edge hits a wonky facebuster for 2.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock.  Edge counters and goes for the Edgecution.  Swagger counters.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock.  Edge gets a rope break.  Edge backdrops Swagger to the floor, when tries to spear him off the apron.  Swagger pulls Edge to the floor and locks him in the ankle lock.  Edge sends Swagger into the steps.  Back inside, Edge goes up top.  Swagger cuts him off.  Edge headbutts Swagger down and hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Swagger sends Edge to the floor.  Edge pulls Swagger’s shoulder into the post.  Edge goes up up.  Swagger brings him down with a belly to belly throw from the top for 2.  Swagger hits a backdrop suplex, then goes for the springboard Vader Bomb.  Edge avoids it and hits the Edgecution, then goes for the spear.  Swagger counters and hits the Doctor Bomb for 2.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock.  Edge goes for an enzuigiri, but ends up getting his knee wrenched.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock.  Edge gets the ropes.  Swagger pulls him back to the middle.  Edge sends Swagger into the ropes, then hits the spear for the pin in 11:31.  Fine match.

Don’t Try This At Home!

The 4 unimportant members of the Nexus chat backstage.  They want to make sure they aren’t forced to disband tonight.  Otunga has a plan to get around the iBooker’s rule that Cena wins if any of them interfere.

Cena/Barrett video.

Nexus Disbands vs. Cena Joins Nexus: Wade Barrett vs. John Cena.  They wrestle a bit.  Cena does a leapfrog and a hip toss, then a dropkick or something for 1.  Barrett pounds on Cena.  Cena pounds on Barrett.  Cole sounds “pound & ground” because he’s a moron.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Nexus run out to distract him.  Barrett nails Cena from behind, then bitches at Nexus for coming out here.  Barrett whips Cena into the barricade.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Barrett lands a punch for 2.  Barrett hits a backbreaker for 2.  Barrett hits a diving elbow drop for 2.  Barrett puts the boots to Cena in the corner.  Cena fights back, but runs himself into the corner.  Barrett hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Barrett stretches Cena across his knee.  Cena tries to fight out, but gets dropped again.  Barrett catapults Cena into the ropes.  Cena fights back and makes his comeback.  Nexus surround the ring.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  The Big Show comes out and attacks Nexus.  He’s followed by Goldust, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Daniel Bryan, Chris Masters, Kofi Kingston, MVP, The Hart Dynasty, Evan Bourne, John Morrison, and R-Truth (I think I listed everyone).  The cavalry takes out Nexus.  Cena goes for the STF.  Barrett counters out and kicks Cena in the gut, then hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  Cena hits some sort of suplex for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Barrett counters and hits a butterfly suplex for 2.  Barrett hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Barrett goes for a diving elbow drop, but Cena avoids it.  Cena goes up top.  Barrett cuts him off and goes for a superplex, but Cena overpowers him.  Cena headbutts Barrett down and hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Barrett counters and hits the Wasteland.  CENA KICKS OUT!  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment.  BARRETT KICKS OUT!  Cena locks in the STF.  Somebody comes out of the crowd and jumps in the ring.  With the referee distracted, somebody else hits Cena with something.  Barrett gets the pin 17:50.  Really, really good match.  Nexus celebrates.  Looking back at the video, I’m pretty sure the first guy was Michael McGillicutty and the second was Husky Harris.  They do the long, drawn out thing with Cena realizing he’s fucked and walking to the back.

Paper Jamz commercial featuring The Miz.

Josh Matthews walks down a purple hallway.  Paul Bearer comes up behind him.  Matthews asks him why he’s back.  He says he has a master plan and Kane will never be his favorite son.

American Airlines Center!

Wrestlers visiting sick kids for Make A Wish!

Unified WWE Divas Championship Match: Michelle McCool (c) (w/ Unified WWE Divas Champion Layla) vs. Natalya.  Natalya takes McCool down and wrestles her.  McCool gets to the ropes and bails.  Natalya chases her and knocks Layla down.  McCool cheap shots Natalya and sends her into the barricade.  McCool works over Natalya in the ring.  Natalya gets a reverse cradle for 2.  McCool hooks in a body scissors.  Natalya makes her comeback.  Natalya hits a clothesline for 2.  Layla gets on the apron.  Natalya pulls her hair.  McCool accidentally decks Layla.  Natalya schoolgirls girl, but the retarded ref takes too long to count and it only gets 2.  McCool hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  McCool goes for the Styles Clash.  Natalya counters and locks in the Sharpshooter.  McCool counters into the heel hook.  Natalya counters back into the Sharpshooter.  Awesome.  Layla throws a shoe at Natalya to cause the DQ in 4:53.  Natalya locks Layla in the Sharpshooter.  Shit happens.  LayCool bail.  Nattie wins, but doesn’t win the belt.  Garbage.

They plug the PPV theme song.

Kane/Undertaker video.

Hell In A Cell Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Kane (c) vs. The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer).  Bearer wants to come into the cell, but Taker won’t let him.  Bearer says “You need me in here!”  Kane jumps Taker and they brawl outside the cell, then inside the cell at ringside.  The bell finally rings.  Taker hits Kane with a chair and rams his head into the steps.  Finally in the ring, Taker hits a couple of running clotheslines to the corner.  Taker hits Snake Eyes and the big boot, then a leg drop for 2.  Taker goes for the chokeslam, but Kane gouges his eyes.  Kane hits Taker with the chair.  They brawl at ringside again.  Taker beats up Kane until Kane reverses an Irish whip and sends Taker into the steps.  Kane attacks Taker’s leg with the chair.  Kane wedges Taker’s leg between the post and the steps and kicks the steps into it.  Kane keeps working the leg.  Taker fights back with big punches.  Taker hits the APRON LEG DROP and I pop.  Back inside, Kane goes after Taker’s leg again.  Undertaker forearms his way out of a hold and lands some punches.  They trade punches.  Taker hits the jumping clothesline.  Taker goes for Old School, but gets crotched on the top rope.  Kane hits a superplex and the diving lariat.  He goes for the cover, but Taker goes for the Hell’s Gate.  Kane bails out of the ring to escape.  Kane comes back in and they do a double knockdown spot, then both sit up and trade punches.  Taker hits Kane with his running DDT for 2.  Taker hits the chokeslam for 2.  Kane hits the chokeslam for 2.  Kane splashes Taker in the corner a bunch and does some corner punches.  Taker hits the Last Ride out of the corner for 2.  Taker goes for the Tombstone, but Kane reverses it and Tombstones Undertaker.  TAKER KICKS OUT!  Kane is cut on the back of his head.  He punches out the referee, presumably to keep him from stopping the match because that shit pisses him off as much as it does me.  They open the cell door to retrieve the KO’d referee, which allows Paul Bearer to come into the cell.  Kane very slowly chases Bearer into the ring.  Kane yells at Bearer.  Taker sits up and chokeslams Kane.  Taker rolls his eyes back and signals for the Tombstone.  Pyro and lightning go off ont he set as Taker goes for the Tombstone.  Bearer opens the urn and a light comes out, which weakens Taker.  Bearer gives Kane the urn, which I assume contains Undertaker’s power.  Kane clocks Taker with the urn, then hits the chokeslam for the pin in 21:41.  Given that I’ve come to expect and be amused by this cartoony shit, this was fun.  Also, it makes perfect sense for Bearer to turn on Taker since the last time we saw Bearer, Taker buried him in concrete.  Bearer leaves with Kane.

Other than the opener and Barrett/Cena, this show kind of sucked.

WWE Superstars 9/30/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the first announcers.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.

Alicia Fox & Jillian Hall (w/ Maxine) vs. The Bella Twins (w/ Jamie Keyes).  Jillian sings before the match.  It’s awful.  Fox and one of the Bellas lock up.  Bella hits a monkey flip.  The other Bella tags in.  Bellas hit a double flippy leg flip thing for 2.  Jillian tags in.  The Bella hits her with a jawbreaker.  Jillian goes for a cartwheel elbow thing to the corner, but the Bella kicks her.  The Bellas shake their asses at her like they did on Raw.  Fox trips the Bella and pulls her out of the ring.  Jillian throws her back in.  Shit happens.  Fox tags in and works the Bella over.  Jillian and the other Bella tag in.  The Bella runs wild.  A bulldog headlock gets 2.  Jillian hits a Samoan drop for 2.  The Bella goes for a sunset flip.  Clusterfuck ensues.  The illegal Bella gets a sunset flip on Jillian for the pin in 4:05.  This was terrible.

NXT recap.

Next, Orton vs. Jericho from Raw!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho from Raw.  Go read that review.  That killed some time.

Tonight, Jack Swagger takes on Kofi Kingston!

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are now the announcers.  Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

Hell In A Cell hype.

Kofi Kingston comes out.  He’ll face Jack Swagger NEXT!

Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger.  They dance around.  Swagger hits a nice arm drag to escape a waist lock.  They fuck around some more.  Kofi lands some leg kicks, then goes for a sunset flip.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock, but fails.  Kofi hits corner punches.  Swagger kicks him in the knee and drops him with a shoulder block.  Swagger holds onto the ropes to avoid a dropkick and goes for the ankle lock.  Kofi flips around and eventually flips Swagger out of the ring.  Swagger comes back in and gets beaten up by Kofi.  Kofi goes for a cross body, but Swagger catches him with a boot.  Insta-commercials.  Swagger chokes Kofi against the bottom rope, so he’d be fired if anybody watched Superstars.  Swagger front suplexes Kofi into the top rope for 2.  Swagger applies an abdominal stretch.  Swagger works Kofi over.  Swagger backdrops Kofi to the apron and applies an abdominal stretch in the ropes.  Kofi fights out.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock.  Kofi drops him with a kick.  Kofi hits the corner rebound kick and a diving chop.  Grisham calls it a Superman punch again because he’s mentally retarded.  Kofi makes his comeback.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and signals for the Trouble In Paradise.  Swagger avoids it.  Kofi hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Swagger beats on Kofi and goes for the springboard Vader Bomb.  Kofi gets his legs up, so Swagger goes for the ankle lock.  Kofi counters into a pinning predicament for 2.  Kofi counters the Doctor Bomb.  Swagger counters the S.O.S. and locks in the ankle lock.  Kofi gets a rope break.  Swagger refuses to break the hold and gets DQ’d (9;11 shown).  Okay match.  Swagger attacks Kofi after the match and locks in the ankle lock again.

Lame show this week.

WWE Monday Night Raw 9/27/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, “last week on Raw” featuring The Miz’s beat down of Daniel Bryan, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Tonight, Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho!  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz cuts a promo on Daniel Bryan.  Bryan comes out and Miz makes fun of his music.  Miz wants to know who Bryan’s partner is.  It’s John Morrison!

The Miz & Alex Riley vs. WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan & John Morrison.  Bryan goes after Miz, who bails, so Bryan beats up Alex Riley.  Bryan lands a running kick for 2.  Morrison tags in and hits Riley with a dropkick for 2.  Riley hot shots Morrison into the top rope and tags in Miz.  Riley chokes Morrison behind the referee’s back.  Miz hits the bottom rope decapitator.  Miz goes for a backdrop suplex, but Morrison lands on top for 2.  Miz and Riley get the heat on Morrison.  Morrison drops Miz and makes the hot tag to Bryan.  Bryan runs wild on Miz.  Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock.  Miz pushes him into Morrison on the apron, then hits Bryan with the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 5:13.  Fine little match.  Miz attacks Bryan after the match.  Morrison tackles Miz through the ropes.  Bryan hits them both with a tope suicida.  Bryan beats on Miz, then nails Morrison with an elbow smash.  A three-way brawl between Bryan, Morrison, and Miz erupts.  Either I just got a text on my iPhone or Cole got an email from the iBooker 9000.  It’s the latter.  iBooker announces via Cole that at Hell In A Cell, it’s going to be Bryan vs. Miz vs. Morrison in a Triple Threat Submissions Count Anywhere Match.  Neat.

A divas battle royal is NEXT!  Commercials.

Unified WWE Divas #1 Contender Battle Royal featuring Melina, Gail Kim, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Tamina, Eve Torres, Jillian Hall, Maryse, Natalya, and Alicia Fox.  Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla come out to do commentary.  Fucking UGH.  The women brawl as McCool and Layla are obnoxious.  Tamina dumps Melina.  Gail tries to eliminate Tamina.  Maryse tries to eliminate Gail.  Gail and Tamina fight on the apron, then go back inside.  Tamina hot shots Gail into the top rope, them dumps her.  Eve beats up Tamina.  Tamina tries to dump Eve, but Eve guillotines her and pulls her out of the ring to eliminate her.  The Bellas dance at Jillian.  They try to eliminate Fox and Jillian, then slide out of the ring and eliminate themselves.  Eve low bridges Maryse out of the ring.  Fox eliminates Eve.  Fox and Jillian jump Natalya and double suplex her.  They try to eliminate her, but she hands on.  Jillian turns on Fox.  Fox eliminates her.  Fox goes after Natalya, but Natalya backdrops her out of the ring to win it in 4:17.  Meh.

They show John Cena doing promo work for his crappy movie.  Meh.  Fast forward.

Tonight, The Cutting Edge with the iBooker 9000!

Slam of the Week: R-Truth & Eve Torres beating Ted Dibiase Jr. & Maryse last week, then the mysterious “I will have you” message on the Tron.

Maryse bitches at Ted Dibiase Jr. because she lost this week.  Dibiase is still mad about her losing last week.  Someone slides a message under the door.  It says “Next week, you will be mine.”  I don’t know where this angle is going, and I don’t care.

Sheamus comes out and tells an old Irish folk story, then issues an open challenge.  Commercials.

Sheamus is still in the ring.  He says no one is man enough to take him on.  Great Khali comes out.  Joy.

Sheamus vs. Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh).  Sheamus shoves Khali and yells a battle cry.  Khali shoves him into the ropes and chops him.  Sheamus gets pissed and kicks his ass.  Sheamus takes Khali outside and hits him with the announce table cover and one of the announcers’ chairs to get himself DQ’d in 1:07.  Khali tries to through the big chop, but Sheamus moves and he hits the post.  Sheamus drops him with the pump kick.  Sheamus lands another pump kick and poses.  This did a better job of building Sheamus than the stupid crap they did last week.

Up next, the Cutting Edge with the iBooker 9000!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Edge comes out to do the Cutting Edge.  The iBooker’s laptop is his guest.  The laptop can talk now.  Edge argues, then realizes that he’s ARGUING WITH A FUCKING COMPUTER.  He says he’s going to go ask Jericho.  iBooker says Jericho is bluffing and Edge has a match right now against John Cena.  Yeah, that’s new.  Commercials.

Edge vs. John Cena.  The Nexus is shown watching backstage.  They lock up.  Cena takes Edge down with a side headlock.  Edge fights out and puts the boots to Cena in the corner.  Cena hits a drop toe hold and goes for the STF, but Edge kicks him out of the ring.  Edge lands a baseball slide dropkick.  Edge sends Cena into the steps.  Back inside, Edge covers for 2.  Edge beats up Cena some more.  They trade punches.  Cena starts his comeback, but misses the shoulder block or something, so Edge keeps beating on him.  Cena counters a suplex attempt with one of his own.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Edge counters and hits the Edgecution for 2.  Cena hits the Throwback.  Cena tries to set up a middle rope Attitude Adjustment, but Edge escapes it.  Edge avoids Cena in the corner and hits the spear for the pin in 6:56, but Cena’s foot was under the bottom rope.  iBooker says Cena’s foot was under the rope.  The show a replay.  iBooker says the match continues.  Edge pounds on Cena, then goes for the spear.  Cena counters into a drop toe hold and locks in the STF.  Edge gets the ropes.  Cena pulls him to the middle and locks the STF in again for the submission win in 8:46.  Okay match.  Edge beats up the laptop.  I’m serious.

Tonight, Orton vs. Jericho!  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater (w/ Wade Barrett, David Otunga, & Michael Tarver) vs. Mark Henry & Evan Bourne.  Slater and Gabriel work over Bourne.  Bourne drops Slater with a jumping knee and makes the hot tag to Henry.  Henry runs wild on Gabriel.  Bourne tags in and goes up for the Shooting Star press, but Slater intervenes.  Slater attacks Henry’s leg on the outside.  Gabriel goes for the 450 splash on Bourne, but Bourne avoids it and hits the Shooting Star press.  Slater pushes them over to reverse the pin, so Gabriel pins Bourne in 3:18.  Kind of a weird match.  It was okay, I guess.  Nexus send Henry into the steps, then beat down Bourne.  Tarver hits the big punch.  Slater hits his Zig Zag thing.  Barrett hits the Wasteland.  Gabriel hits the 450 splash.  Barrett promises to beat John Cena and force him to join The Nexus.  Otunga says they’re invading Smackdown this week.  Tarver says they’re bad news.  Like the bears?

WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre are headed our way!  Commercials.

Next week, Johnny Knoxville guest stars on Raw.  Fucking ugh.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre (c) vs. The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya).  The Harts get another shot despite losing their rematch on Smackdown.  Yes, I know they taped the shows out of order.  That’s not my problem.  Oh well, at least the belts are being defended on TV.  Ah, they explain that the iBooker ordered this match BECAUSE of the cheating in the Smackdown match.  Holy crap!  Yay for quality control!  Rhodes and Kidd start.  Cole talks shit about the Harts.  Kidd does a cool reverse cradle for 2.  Rhodes hits his rebound kick.  Rhodes and McIntyre take turns beating up Kidd.  Smith gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Smith hits Rhodes with a backdrop suplex, but McIntyre saves.  Smith throws McIntyre out of the ring.  Harts go for the Hart Attack, but McIntyre trips Kidd before he can springboard.  Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes on Smith for the pin in 3:12.  Okay little match.  Smith bitches at Kidd because Kidd accidentally hit him when he got pushed.  Smith leaves.  Why the hell are they breaking up the Harts?

Orton vs. Jericho is NEXT!  Commercials.

John Cena is in the locker room.  R-Truth comes in and they chat about Sunday.  Cena says he’s also going to show up on Smackdown this week.

Hell In A Cell hype.

Chris Jericho comes out and cuts a promo.  He starts to list all of the people he’s beaten: Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Triple H, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, JBL, Big Show, Edge, Undertaker (x2), MVP, CM Punk… Commercials…

… Invader 1, Invader 2, Villano I, II, III, IV, & V, Juventud Guerrera, Apolo Dantes, Ringo Mendoza Jr., Great Muta, Masahiro Chono, Funaki, Fuyuki, Jado, Gedo, Yoshi Tatsu, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Lex Luger, Sting, Ric Flair, Bill Goldberg, Booker T, Stevie Ray, Scott Norton, Buff Bagwell, Flash Flanagan, Flash Funk, Kevin Nash, Diesel, Oz, Scott Hall, Razor Ramon, American Starship Eagle… Randy Orton’s music interrupts.  Dammit!  That was EPIC!

Non-Title: Chris Jericho vs. WWE Champion Randy Orton.  Jericho goes on the attack.  Orton drops him with a clothesline.  Orton slides to the floor and beats up Jericho on the apron, then beats him up back in the ring.  Jericho drops Orton with a punch behind the referee’s back.  Jericho beats up Orton.  Orton clotheslines Jericho out of the ring.  Jericho reverses Orton into the barricade.  Commercials.  Orton drops Jericho with a clothesline and stomps on him.  Sheamus comes out.  Orton gets distracted and Jericho hits an enzuigiri for 2.  Jericho hits the bottom rope decapitator.  Orton avoids a charging Jericho against the ropes and fights back.  Orton goes for the RKO, but Jericho counters and gets a backslide for 2.  Jericho lands a dropkick for 2.  Jericho applies a rear chin lock.  Jericho lands another dropkick for another 2.  Jericho hits a knee drop for 2.  Orton hits a backdrop suplex and makes his comeback.  Jericho hits a bulldog headlock and goes for the Lionsault.  Orton avoids it and hits the 3.0.  Jericho blocks the RKO again and hits the Lionsault for 2.  Jericho kicks Orton to the apron and goes for the springboard dropkick.  Orton avoids it and goes for the DDT OF MURDER.  Jericho counters and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Orton kicks him out of the ring to escape.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat.  Sheamus runs in and gets his ass kicked, which for some reason causes Orton to win by DQ in 13:15.  Really good match.  Orton gives Sheamus the DDT OF MURDER, then goes for the punt.  Jericho hits Orton with the Codebreaker.  Jericho brings in a chair.  Orton avoids the shot and drops Jericho with the RKO.  Crowd chants “PUNT!”  Orton gives Jericho the PUNT OF DOOM to send him out of WWE for a time, which makes me a sad panda.  Orton glares at Sheamus, then surveys his handiwork.

Lots of stupidity on this show, but at least Jericho had an awesome promo and a really good match in his last hour.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 9/24/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, Kane has a challenge for The Undertaker!

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Kane vs. Chris Masters.  Kane grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block for 2.  Kane grabs his headlock again.  Masters tries to fight out, so Kane nails him.  Masters manages to drop Kane with a swinging neckbreaker and a diving shoulder block.  Masters locks in the Master Lock.  Kane backs him into the corner three times to break it.  Masters hammers him with chops and punches.  Kane kicks Masters’ knee out from under him.  Kane beats up Masters for a while and works his knee.  Kane hits the basement big boot for 2.  Masters fights back, staggers Kane with an elbow smash, and dives at him.  Kane catches him mid-air with a punch, then grounds & pounds him.  Kane hits the chokeslam and the Tombstone Piledriver for the pin in 6:07.  Okay little TV match here.  Kane takes the mic and cuts another wacky Kane promo, going out amongst the people.  He says he’s going to issue a challenge to The Undertaker later tonight.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre (c) vs. The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya).  Wasn’t this match supposed to be on Raw next week?  Aren’t the Harts Raw guys?  I digress.  McIntyre and Smith lock up.  McIntyre pounds on Smith in the corner.  Smith hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Kidd tags in and the Harts double team McIntyre.  McIntyre bails and Kidd hits him with a baseball slide headscissors.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre drops Smith with a boot.  Smith hits him with a jawbreaker.  Rhodes tags in and cuts off Smith from making the tag.  Rhodes beats up Smith.  McIntyre tags in and Pearl Harbors Smith.  Smith drops McIntyre.  Rhodes tags back in and cuts off Smith again, locking him in a rear chin lock.  Smith stands up and drops Rhodes with an electric chair drop.  McIntyre and Kidd tag in.  Kidd runs wild.  Dropkick to the head gets 2.  Kidd hits a springboard Blockbuster, but Rhodes saves.  Smith throws Rhodes out of the ring.  McIntyre drops Smith with a boot.  McIntyre exposes the turnbuckle pad and sends Kidd into it, then hits the Future Shock for the pin (4:36 shown).  Fine little match.

The Undertaker sits in a dark stairwell.

Alberto Del Rio taunts an injured Christian.  He apparently attacked Christian from behind in the parking lot because he’s a big smelly vagina.

Raw Rebound.

Hell In A Cell hype.

CM Punk is in the locker room getting ready.  Luke Gallows comes in.  Punk tells him to leave, that he’s done with him.  Gallows chokes Punk and pushes him against the wall.  Gallows says Punk has no right to pass judgment or think he’s better than anybody.  The video cuts to the next scene before the segment is over.  Weird.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Kaval.  Oh fuck yes!  They start to do a knuckle lock, but Chavo lands a cheap kick.  Kaval comes back and awesomely lands lots of wacky kicks.  Kaval locks in the Dragon Clutch on the ropes briefly, then takes a bump to the floor.  Chavo whips him into the barricade, then picks him up and drops him across it.  Back inside, Chavo hits the Eddie hilo for 2.  Chavo locks Kaval in a waist lock, then Irish whips him.  Kaval catches him with a shot and makes his awesome comeback.  Kaval hits the Tidal Wave for 2.  Chavo hits the Three Amigos, with a brainbuster on the last one.  He goes for the frog splash, but Kaval avoids it and hits a running dropkick for 2, as Chavo gets a foot on the ropes.  Kaval hits Chavo with a koppou kick in the corner, then goes for a Frankensteiner off the top.  Chavo holds into the ropes to avoid it, then hits the frog splash for the pin in 4:26.  Good little match.  Kaval looked great here.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez, who introduces Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio comes out to talk.  They once again show him injuring Rey Mysterio Jr.  He says Mysterio will be back on Smackdown next week and he’s going to kiss him on the cheek.  Yeah, that’s what he said.  Christian comes out and beats up Del Rio.  Ricardo Rodriguez comes in and grabs Christian’s leg to let Del Rio get the advantage.  Del Rio locks Christian in the cross armbreaker, then puts a chair on the arm and rams it into the ring post.  Christian is going to be out for 4-6 months due to injury, which kills a good bit of my interest in this show.

The Undertaker is still sitting in a dark stairwell.  He looks tired and/or hurt.

Handicap Match: Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer vs. The Big Show.  Hawkins starts.  Show destroys him.  Hawkins avoids Show in the corner and leaps at him.  Show kills him with a chop in mid-air.  Archer tags in.  Show takes him down and locks him in a camel clutch for the submission win in 1:15.  Fun squash.

Josh Matthews interviews Jack Swagger, who show off his football jerseys.  The Dudebusters and Hornswoggle steal them while his back is turned.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

CM Punk vs. Luke Gallows.  Gallows is pissed.  Punk tries to avoid his blows, but ends up getting caught and getting his ass kicked.  Gallows hits a flapjack on Punk and throws him around.  Punk rolls to the apron.  Gallows pulls him up, but Punk pulls Gallows across the top rope.  Punk hits the springboard lariat, then clamps on a front face lock.  Gallows lifts Punk.  Punk goes for a sunset flip, but doesn’t get it.  Punk hits a move for 2.  Punk lands some kicks.  Gallows boots Punk in the face and gets rolling.  Gallows hits a short lariat and the big splash for 2.  Punk avoids Gallows in the corner and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 3:35.  Fun little match.

The Undertaker is still just hanging out in a dark stairwell.

Vickie Guerrero and Kaitlyn come out.  Argh.  Vickie is obnoxious.  She has MASSIVE heat.  She introduces her man, WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Kaitlyn) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  Part of MVP’s entrance is edited out.  This show is weirdly edited.  They lock up and MVP shines.  Ziggler bails and interacts with Kaitlyn.  Vickie gets mad.  Ziggler goes back in and beats up MVP.  MVP hits a fireman carry into a press slam, then knocks Ziggler out of the ring.  Kaitlyn checks on him.  Vickie bitches at her.  Kaitlyn tires of this shit, shoves Vickie on her ass, and leaves.  Vickie whins and leaves.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler avoids the corner Yakuza kick and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler puts the boots to MVP.  Ziggler hits some elbow drops for 2.  Ziggler applies a chin & shoulder lock with body scissors.  MVP fights out.  Ziggler clubbers him some more.  MVP avoids Ziggler in the corner and makes his comeback.  MVP goes for the Playmaker, but Ziggler counters and schoolboys him for 2.  MVP hits an Exploder for 2.  MVP hits the Yakuza kick in the corner for 2, as Ziggler gets a foot on the rope to save himself.  Ziggler pulls MVP across the top rope and goes for the Zig Zag, but MVP holds onto the rope to avoid it.  MVP goes for the Ballin’ elbow, but Ziggler bails.  Ziggler grabs his belt and leaves.  MVP wins by count-out (7:44 shown).  Okay match.  The announcers flip flop on whether or not it was a title match.  It wasn’t announced as such, so just assume the announcers are idiots.

Rosa Mendez is jumping rope backstage.  The Dudebusters take her jump rope and put it in a box that they hand off to Hornswoggle, who is loading a truck.  See, despite the fact that they’re mostly in a different venue every week, they only have to move anything when the show is going to be airing on a different channel.  And Hornswoggle and The Dudebusters have been demoted to movers.  Vickie Guerrero comes in looking for Kaitlyn.  They lock her in the moving truck.  Heh.

The Undertaker continues to sit in his dark stairwell.  Someone opens a door.  Taker feels something, stands up, and rolls his eyes back.

World Heavyweight Champion Kane comes out.  He cuts a promo against a backdrop of red lighting and weird music.  He challenges Undertaker to a Hell In A Cell Match at the PPV.  The GONG sounds.  Druids come out with a casket.  Kane opens the casket.  PAUL BEARER IS IN THE CASKET!  HE HAS THE URN!  The lights go out and come back on to reveal The Undertaker in the ring.  Taker kicks Kane’s ass.  THE URN GAVE UNDERTAKER HIS POWERS BACK!  Taker goes for the chokeslam, but Kane bails and runs away.  Taker does the old school “reach for the urn” pose.  Kane screams “No!” as the show ends.

Fun show this week.