Archive for Genesis

TNA iMPACT! 1/13/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 2, 2011 by Grappleholic

Genesis recap.

“The One That Got Away”

Earlier today, Jeff and Karen Jarrett arrived.

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

The NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson comes out to cut a promo.  He bitches about WWE for a while, then calls out Matt Morgan.  Morgan comes to the ring.  Anderson thanks him for helping him out when he needed it.  Morgan cuts a passionate promo about wanting the title, then congratulates Anderson and leaves.  Eric Bischoff comes out and bitches at Anderson.  He says that Anderson will face Jeff Hardy in a rematch on the February 3 iMPACT!, then rants about Hulk Hogan.  Jeff Hardy appears on the screen and babbles.  Rob Van Dam jumps Hardy backstage.  Matt Hardy attacks RVD.  Anderson runs to the back to make the save.  The rest of Immortal: Beer Money, Abyss, Rob Terry, Ric Flair, AJ Styles, and Kazarian jump Anderson and RVD and leave them laying.  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

Tonight, the Hardy Brothers take on Mr. Anderson & RVD!

Jeff and Karen Jarrett chat backstage, then go into the Immortal locker room.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Beer Money (c) vs. The Motor City Machine Guns.  The match starts with four-way insanity.  Guns clear the ring and hit Beer Money with stereo suicide dives.  Guns double team Storm briefly until Roode trips Sabin while thing where Sabin kicks the dude that Shelley has in the Muta Lock.  Beer Money get the heat on Sabin.  Sabin and Storm do a double cross body spot.  Roode and Shelley tag in.  Shelley runs wild on Beer Money.  Storm counters the Shiranui.  Shelley hits a bulldog/clothesline on Beer Money.  Shelley goes up top.  Storm cuts him off.  Shelley fights him off.  Sabin kicks Storm.  Shelley hits the Ghetto Stomp on Roode for 2.  Guns run wild some more and double team Roode.  Guns hit the Skull & Bones.  Storm pushes Sabin into Shelley to break the cover.  Storm is bleeding.  He hits the DDT OF MURDER on Sabin.  Shelley sets up Roode for a superplex.  Storm cuts him off and goes for the Eight Second Ride.  Shelley counters.  Storm hits a move that I forgot the name of.  Roode hits a diving splash on Shelley for 2.  Shelley counters the DWI.  Sabin low bridges Storm out of the ring.  Guns hit a missile dropkick/Complete Shot combo.  Storm comes back in.  Complications arise.  Shelley accidentally superkicks Sabin.  Beer Money hit the DWI on Shelley and Roode gets the pin in 7:41.  Not as good as their usual matches, but still pretty good.

They show Jeff Jarrett backstage.

Kurt Angle arrives.  Commercials.

Rob Van Dam and Ken Anderson chat backstage and look for weapons to go beat up Immortal.  RVD gets a chair.  Anderson gets a 2×4.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero comes out to talk.  He talks about whatever the angle with Samoa Joe is.  He says he forgives Joe, then shows a photo of pigs humping that he says is Joe and his wife.  He shows a video of baby pigs nursing which he says is Joe’s child.  Samoa Joe comes out and runs him out of the ring and calls him a bitch.  Joe says he doesn’t “chase bitches.”  Joe says that when he gets hold of Pope, “Joe is going to kill you.”

Rob Van Dam and Ken Anderson go into the locker room that Beer Money is in.  They close the door and much racket is made.  RVD and Anderson exit and go to look for the Hardys.

Tonight, Hardys vs. RVD & Anderson!  Also, something with Kurt Angle and the Jarretts!  Commercials!

Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, and AJ Styles chat backstage about how butthurt Hogan is about Hardy losing the title.  They find the beaten up Beer Money.  Flair throws a fit.  Bischoff says “It’s on.”

Kurt Angle/Jeff Jarrett video package.

Moments ago, Jeff Jarrett talked about Kurt Angle while Karen looked at him lovingly.

Kurt Angle is also headed our way.  Commercials.

Jeff Jarrett, Gunner, Murphy, and the geeks come out.  He talks about his “MMA career,” then introduces Karen.  Kurt Angle comes out instead and runs through the geeks, then gives Gunner and Murphy German suplexes.  Jarrett acts like he’s ready to fight.  Karen comes out and yells at Kurt from the stage.  Jarrett bails.  Karen screams at Kurt in a manner that reminds me of my own ex-wife.  Karen threatens to give her side of the story and says that Kurt should dress up for it.  Huh?

Still to come, Hardys vs. RVD & Anderson!  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Kurt Angle throws a fit backstage.

Highlights from Madison Rayne/Mickie James from the PPV.  It was awful.

Velvet Sky fuses at Angelina Love backstage.  Winter shows up and drags Angelina away.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Match: Angelina Love & Winter (c) vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne & Tara.  Angelina and/or Winter has awful new music.  Love and Rayne lock up.  Love gets some quick cradles.  Madison screams.  Love beats her up some more.  Madison distracts the referee.  Tara pulls Angelina down by the hair, then tags in.  The heels beat up Angelina while the referee struggles with Winter.  Madison tries to use the loaded glove.  Mickie James runs out, drags her out of the ring and chases her to the back.  Angelina hits Tara with a brogue kick.  Winter hits a diving lariat on Tara, then pounds on her.  Winter chokes out Tara and the referee calls for a stop in 3:04.  This sucked.

The Hardys cut a promo from behind a fence backstage.

Tonight, Hardys vs. RVD & Anderson!  Commercials.

House shows!

Non-Title: TNA World Television Champion Abyss (w/ Ric Flair) vs. Matt Morgan.  Morgan charges the ring because he’s pissed at the world.  He runs wild for a while, then Flair distracts him and Abyss gets the advantage.  Abyss gets the heat for a bit.  Flair gets in a cheap shot behind the referee’s back.  Morgan makes his comeback.  Abyss goes for the chokeslam.  Morgan fights out and hits the Carbon Footprint.  Flair grabs the referee’s leg.  Hebner gets away and counts the pin anyway in 3:20.  Kind of a fun little brawl.  Flair cheap shots Morgan.  Morgan goes for a top rope chokeslam.  Rob Terry runs out to save Flair.  Flair low blows Morgan.  Abyss, Terry, and Flair beat down Morgan and leave him laying.

Hardys vs. RVD & Anderson NEXT!  Commercials.

During the break, some dude choked Abyss backstage.  I think it’s Amazing Red’s baby brother.  He says his name is Crimson.  He says “they’re coming” on February 3.  Not this shit again.

Abyss goes into the office and tries to tell Bischoff what happened, but Bischoff is busy giving the Hardys a pep talk.  Once that’s done, Abyss tells Bischoff what Crimson said.

The main event is next for real this time!  Commercials!

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson & Rob Van Dam vs. The Hardys.  They brawl in the aisle and at ringside.  RVD beats up Matt in the ring to officially start the match.  Anderson is already bleeding.  It finally breaks down into a tag match.  RVD and Anderson take turns beating up Matt.  Hardys cut off Anderson and get the heat on him.  RVD tags in.  Jeff scampers away and tags in Matt.  Matt hits a sleeper drop and goes for a moonsault.  RVD avoids it and goes for the split legged moonsault.  He catches Matt in the face as Jeff tries to pull Matt to safety.  RVD takes out both Hardys with a dive.  Commercials.  RVD beats up Matt some more.  RVD goes to the middle rope.  Matt takes out his leg and sends him crashing to the ground.  Cover gets 2.  Hardys get the heat on RVD.  Anderon tags in.  Stuff happens.  I zoned out.  Anderson hits the Mic Check on Jeff.  Matt saves and goes for the Twist of Fate.  There’s a ref bump.  Anderson hits the Mic Check on Matt.  RVD beats up Jeff.  Beer Money run in and beat up Anderson and RVD.  Beer Money hit the catapult DDT on Anderson.  Storm superkicks RVD.  The referee is back in.  Matt gives Anderson the Twist of Hate.  Jeff hits the Swanton bomb for the pin in 13:47.  This wasn’t good.

The rest if Immortal come out and beat down Anderson and RVD.  Immortal stand tall as the show closes.

This show wasn’t really good, but it wasn’t as awful as iMPACT! sometimes is, and it at least felt like it went by quickly.

TNA Genesis 2011

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2011 by Grappleholic

PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Jay Lethal (c) vs. Kazarian.  Lethal is good and pissed off and gets the jump on Kazarian early.  Kazarian tries of getting his ass kicked and bells.  Lethal hits him perfectly with a tope suicida.  Kazarian whips Lethal towards the ring.  Lethal connects with a moonsault body block off the apron.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Kazarian finally gains the advantage by sending Lethal hard into the corner.  Or so he thought.  Lethal fires back with chops and catapults Kazarian into the corner.  Lethal hits a dropkick for 2.  Lethal hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Kazarian catches Lethal with an elbow smash, then hits an Alabama Slam.  Kazarian finally has the advantage and starts to put a beating on the champion.  Kazarian hits a leg drop for 2.  Lethal lands the handspring elbow.  They get to their feet and trade punches.  Lethal lands a HARD chop, then runs and kind of bulldogs Kazarian onto the top rope.  Kazarian slingshots Lethal back in and hits an Ace Crusher for 2!  That was awesome.  Kazarian goes for the Flux Capacitor.  Lethal turns it into a sunset flip powerbomb for 2.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination for 2.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver.  Lethal counters.  Kazarian hits a slingshot DDT for 2.  Kazarian gets annoyed that he can’t put Lethal away.  Kazarian slaps Lethal.  Lethal Hulks up and lands a bunch of chops.  Lethal hits a suplex and goes up top.  Kazarian jumps up and hits an enzuigiri to the throat.  Which technically isn’t an enzuigiri, but I digress.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver off the top!  Lethal counters certain death and pushes Kazarian down into the ref.  Kazarian crotches Lethal on the top, then its the Axe Guillotine Driver for the pin in 11:37.  Immortal captures another championship!  Good match, too.  I really dug this.

Tenay and Taz hype the show.

Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, and AJ Styles are in the office.  Flair tells Bischoff that Styles is injured and can’t wrestle tonight.  They bicker.  Styles cares about his kid, which pisses Bischoff off.  Styles is about sick of his shit.  He storms off.  Flair tells Bischoff to come up with something.

Mickie James/Madison Rayne hype video.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Mickie James.  Madison taunts Mickie, then hides behind the referee.  Mickie schools her and gets some quick pin attempts.  Mickie lands a dropkick.  Rayne bails to the apron.  Mickie hip tosses her back in for 2.  Mickie cranks on Rayne’s arm.  Madison walks up the ropes, so Mickie drops her.  Rayne screams, then pulls Mickie’s hair.  Mickie rallies.  Madison bails.  Madison pulls Mickie’s head across the top rope.  Cover gets 2.  Crowd chants “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE!”  Madison responds by not being able to wrestle.  Mickie hits a snapmare and a basement dropkick for 2.  Mickie goes for the Flair pin in the corner and gets 2.  Mickie hits a rana and goes up top.  Rayne cuts her off and throws her to the mat.  Rayne does typical women’s bullshit for 2.  Mickie fights out of some stupid thing.  Madison throws her down and pulls on her face.  Mickie gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Madison hits a head kick for 2.  I wish this would end.  Madison works Mickie’s hair.  I fucking hate women’s wrestling.  Madison tries to hump Mickie’s head into the mat.  Mickie turns it into a wheelbarrow drop and makes her comeback.  Mickie goes for the DDT.  Rayne escapes and hits in the ropes.  Mickie spanks her.  Madison pokes Mickie in the eye behind the ref’s back.  Mickie hits a neckbreaker and goes up top.  Mickie hits the diving Thesz press and goes for the DDT.  Tara comes out.  Mickie tries to fight her.  The ref gets between them.  Madison plays dead in the ring.  Mickie picks her up.  Madison KOs Mickie with a loaded glove for the pin in 10:29.  This was awful.  Madison and Tara celebrate the win.  I celebrate this match being over.

Christy Hemme interviews Immortal members TNA X Division Champion Kazarian, Beer Money, Ric Flair, and Eric Bischoff.  Christy asks Bischoff who will face RVD and who will replace AJ Styles.  Bischoff says Abyss will take AJ’s place, but won’t tell who RVD’s opponent is.  He guarantees that Immortal will win all of the titles tonight.

Beer Money/Motor City Machine Guns hype video.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Beer Money.  Shelley throws his shirt at Roode.  Roode shoves him.  They stare at each other, then eventually lock up.  They do a fine little chain wrestling sequence.  They speed up and Shelley lands a dropkick for 2.  Storm tags in and gets beaten up by the Guns.  Guns double team Storm, then Roode.  Guns send Beer Money to the floor and land stereo topes suicidas.  Back inside, Storm avoids Shelley’s Ghetto Stomp.  Storm counters the Shiranui.  Roode gives Shelley an enzui lariat.  Storm covers for 2.  Beer Money cut Shelley off and get the heat on him.  Heel chicanery allows Beer Money to double to Shelley behind the referee’s back.  Shelley rallies and gives Storm the Shiranui.  Shelley goes to make the tag, but Roode pulls Sabin off the apron.  Roode tags in and keeps the heat going on Shelley.  Beer Money hit the double suplex on Shelley.  “BEER!  MONEY!”  Beer Money go for the awesome catapult DDT, but Shelley counters it and rallies!  Sabin gets the hot tag and runs wild!  Sabin ties Roode to the tree of woe and hits the hesitation dropkick.  Storm saves.  Sabin suplexes him onto Roode.  Sabin hits Roode with a diving rana.  Shelley comes off of Sabin’s shoulders to give Roode a DDT.  Sabin covers, but Storm saves.  Sabin and Storm fight outside.  Roode goes for a superplex on Shelley.  Shelley fights him off.  Sabin hits a diving lariat.  Shelley hits the Ghetto Stomp.  Sabin covers for 2.  Storm hits a Lung Blower on Storm.  Sabin kicks Storm outside.  Roode and Sabin counter each other.  Storm spits beer on Sabin’s face.  Roode hits the spinebuster for 2.  Shelley comes in against Roode, then takes out Storm with a dive.  Guns kill Roode with a double head kick and hit the Skull & Bones.  Storm pulls the referee out of the ring.  Shelley takes Storm out with another dive.  Sabin goes for a springboard DDT, but Roode counters and hits a Northern Lights suplex hold for 2.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Beer Money hit Sabin with the DWI.  SABIN KICKS OUT!  Roode argues with the referee.  They go for it again, but fail.  Sabin accidentally kicks Shelley in the face.  Roode schoolboys Sabin and grabs a handful of tights for the pin in 17:58.  REALLY freaking good match.  I loved this so much.

Christy Hemme interviews Brother Devon.

Devon/Ray hype video.

Bully Ray vs. Brother Devon.  Devon rushes the ring.  Bubba bails.  Devon goes after him.  Bubba hides behind So Cal Val again.  Devon says “fuck this” and starts kicking Bubba’s ass.  Devon kicks Bubba’s ass at ringside for a while, then they finally get in the ring to start the match.  Ray begs off and apologizes.  Ray goes for a low blow, but Devon blocks it and kicks his ass.  Devon hits a lariat for 2.  Devon hits a Thesz press and punches.  Devon slams Bubba and goes up top.  Bubba bails again.  Devon goes after him and kicks his ass some more.  They brawl in the crowd.  Why not?  It’s not like there are rules or anything.  Devon hits Bubba with a shoe.  Bubba gets the jump on Devon coming back into the ring.  Bubba gets cocky and starts beating up Devon.  Devon begs for more.  Bubba cheap shots him in the eyes.  Bubba administers a shit kicking.  Devon rallies and tries to come off the top.  Bubba catches him in midair with an Ace Crusher for 2.  Devon counters the Bubba Bomb and hits a big Ron Simmons-style spinebuster for 2.  Devon goes up top.  Bubba crotches him and hits a superplex for 2.  Bubba tries to use a chain and fails.  Devon makes his comeback and probably almost throws his back out giving Bubba a back body drop.  Devon gets hold of the chain and whips Bubba with it to cause the DQ in 8:48.  Okay brawl.  Devon keeps beating on Bubba.  Referees come out to break it up, so of course they keep fighting.  D’Lo Brown, Pat Kenney, and security geeks come out to help.  Ray gets in one more cheap shot and bails.

Christy Hemme interviews Jeff Jarrett.  He explains the rules of this stupid MMA match.  There’s 3 2 minute rounds and some other bullshit.

TNA World Television Championship Match: Douglas Williams (c) vs. Abyss.  Williams is selling the hand that AJ Styles injured on iMPACT recently.  Abyss tries to stop the hand.  Williams bails.  Back inside, Williams goes for a slingshot sunset flip and narrowly avoids being sat on.  Williams counters a slam, then gets a schoolboy for 2.  Abyss sends Williams’ shoulder into the post.  Abyss rams Williams’ injured hand into the post.  Abyss beats up Williams on the outside.  Back inside, Williams tries to rally and comes off the top.  Abyss tries to chokeslam him, fails, but lands a big boot.  Williams is forced to bail again.  Williams lands some blows outside.  Abyss rams the injured hand into the barricade.  Abyss picks up the belt and tries to hit Williams’ hand with it.  Williams avoids the blow, but gets beaten down anyway.  Back inside, Abyss stomps on Williams’ hand.  Abyss keeps the heat going on Williams.  Williams lands a diving European uppercut.  Williams hits Abyss with a flurry of blows and goes for a German.  Abyss grabs his hand.  Williams fights back and hits a backdrop suplex.  Williams hits a diving knee drop for 2.  Williams goes for a running knee to the corner, but Abyss catches him and chokeslams him.  Cover, but Williams grabs the bottom rope.  Abyss retrieves the nail board from under the ring to distract the referee.  AJ Styles appears and hits Williams with the title belt.  Abyss comes back in and hits the Black Hole Slam for the pin in 9:46.  Three titles for Immortal tonight.  Okay match.

Eric Bischoff and Rob Van Dam bicker backstage.  RVD says he wants Hardy tonight.  Bischoff says he has Hardy.

Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy.  Well, Bischoff DID say RVD had Hardy tonight, but he didn’t say WHICH Hardy.  Matt looks like a tard with colored dreadlocks.  Hardy offers a handshake.  RVD isn’t buying it.  Hardy decks him and they brawl.  Hardy hits a sleeper drop and dances around.  RVD drops him with a kick.  RVD hits the springboard kick and some more kicks, because he really likes to kick.  RVD sends Hardy to the apron and kicks him into the guardrail.  RVD kicks Hardy to the floor again before he can get back in and lands an Asai moonsault.  Back inside, RVD hits a diving cross body for 2.  RVD counters the Twist of Fate.  Hardy kind of waist locks RVD into the corner.  Hardy hits a sloppy bulldog headlock for 2.  Hardy hits a full nelson Stroke for 2.  Hardy does the RVD thumb point.  Hardy hits a neckbreaker and goes to the middle rope.  RVD catches him coming down with a spin kick.  Hardy hits the Side Effect for 2.  This match is really clunky.  Hardy applies a rear chin lock.  RVD escapes and lands a head kick, then does his wonky leg cradle for 2.  They trade punches.  RVD makes his comeback.  RVD mows down Hardy with another spin kick.  Another kick.  Cover gets 2.  Hardy gets an inside cradle for 2.  RVD hits the diving kick, Rolling Thunder, and the Five Star Frog Splash.  Hardy’s hand is kind of under the rope, but not really.  RVD stomps on him.  The ref gets in the way.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate for the pin in 11:50, even though RVD’s foot was clearly under the ropes.  This.  Was not good.  At all.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.

Jarrett/Angle hype video.

MMA Exhibition Match: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Kurt Angle.  Angle promises to break the neck of any of Jarrett’s geeks who might interfere.  Round 1: Jarrett plays chickenshit and tries to stay away.  Angle lies down and offers Jarrett his guard.  Jarrett challenges him to stand up.  This shit is ridiculous.  Angle goes after Jarrett, who hides in the ropes.  There are no rope breaks in MMA, morons.  Angle tires of this shit, takes Jarrett down, and applies a rear naked choke as the round ends.  Jarrett consults with his corner men, Gunner and Murphy.  Round 2: Angle challenges Jarrett to go for a takedown.  Jarrett tries and fails.  Angle goes for a Kimura, then lets go.  Angle takes Jarrett down and applies an arm triangle.  And lets go again.  Angle does a gator roll.  Jarrett gets a rope break in the MMA fight.  Angle throws Jarrett down and applies a cross armbreaker.  And lets go again.  Angle applies the ankle lock.  The round ends.  At least the rounds have been exactly 2 minutes.  Jarrett spits or vomits or something.  More encouragement from the corner geeks.  “ANGLE’S GONNA KILL YOU!” chants.  Round 3: Jarrett has greased his arms.  It gets in Angle’s eyes.  The referee throws it out 27 seconds into the third round.  I think Angle wins by DQ.  Angle is bleeding.  Jarrett continues beating him up.  Jarrett says he’s retiring and bringing his wife/Angle’s ex to the retirement party.  Well this was all stupid.

Tenay and Taz talk.  Jarrett yells at Taz for some reason.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy.

Morgan/Anderson hype video.

Tale of the Tape.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender Match: Matt Morgan vs. Ken Anderson.  In-ring intros and all of that jazz.  Morgan grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Anderson grabs a headlock and tries a shoulder block, which has no effect on the much larger Morgan.  Morgan does a leap frog and hits a sloppy hip toss.  Anderson avoids something and gets a one count.  Morgan beats up Anderson and abuses his head a bunch.  Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint to the apron, but Anderson avoids it.  Morgan crotches himself and falls to the floor.  Morgan rams Anderson’s back into the post.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Morgan chokes Anderson with his boot, then hits the revolving elbows in the corner.  Anderson avoids a charge and takes out Morgan’s knee.  Anderson works the leg and applies a half crab.  Morgan gets a rope break and tries to slap feeling back into his leg.  They brawl.  Morgan hits a chokeslam off the top rope!  Anderson kicks out!  Morgan hits some short range lariats.  Anderson counters the discus lariat and hits the Mic Check out of nowhere for 2.  They trade punches for a while.  Morgan decapitates Anderson with the Carbon Footprint for 2.  He goes for another one.  Anderson ducks and hits the Mic Check again.  Delayed cover gets 2.  Morgan counters another Mic Check attempt.  Anderson lands an elbow smash, then catches Morgan with an inside cradle for the pin in 15:24.  This wasn’t good either.

Eric Bischoff comes out with a steel chair.  He sets up the chair, then sits down and tells Anderson that he’s getting his title shot RIGHT NOW!  Hardy comes out in acid washed jeans and a jacket & tie, smoking a cigarette.  He looks a lot like Raven.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Ken Anderson.  Hardy attacks Anderson.  Twist of Hate gets 2.  Hardy argues with the referee.  Morgan is still at ringside.  That may come into play later.  Another Twist of Hate gets 2.  Hardy can’t believe this shit.  Anderson manages to throw Hardy out of the ring.  Behind the referee’s back, Morgan gives Hardy the discus lariat and throws him back into the ring.  Anderson covers for 2.  They trade punches.  Anderson gets rolling and hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson has Hardy reeling now.  Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind.  Anderson rolls to the floor.  Hardy grabs a chair.  Mick Foley appears and takes it away from him.  Ric Flair comes out.  Security geeks hold him back.  Hardy rolls Anderson back into the ring and goes up top.  Anderson crotches him and goes for a superplex.  Hardy fights him off hits the Swanton Bomb.  Anderson kicks out again!  There is no denying him tonight!  Anderson hits the Lambeau Leap.  Hardy hits a clothesline, then calls for the cavalry.  Matt Hardy runs in.  Rob Van Dam cuts him off and they brawl to the back.  Eric Bischoff appears in the ring and tries to hit Anderson with a chair.  Anderson stops him and hits the Mic Check.  Jeff comes back in and goes for the Twist of Hate.  Anderson counters and hits the Mic Check for the pin 9:06!  New World Champion!  Okayish match.  Immortal look on unhappily as Anderson celebrates with the fugly purple belt.  Some fan with a sign gets in the ring.  Anderson announces himself as the NEW World Champion.

There were a couple of really good matches on this show and a whole lot of crap.  I’ll give it a thumbs VERY SLIGHTLY up.

TNA iMPACT! 1/6/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 5, 2011 by Grappleholic

Video package of recent goings on.

“Genesis… The Beginning… Or the End?”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Immortal come to the ring: Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, AJ Styles, Beer Money, Kazarian, Rob Terry, Abyss, Jeff Jarrett, Gunner, and Murphy.  Bischoff blathers about how Immortal are going to win all the titles fair and square.  He brings out the champions: TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal, TNA World Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns, and TNA World Television Champion Doug Williams.  He books them in “tune up matches” tonight: Lethal vs. Abyss, Williams vs. Terry, and the Guns vs. Styles & Kazarian.  Bischoff asks them to shake hands.  Immortal jump the champions.  Bischoff pretends to be mad at them.  Rob Van Dam comes out and makes the save.  By himself.  He’s pissed off and wants a shot at Jeff Hardy.  He wants to know who his opponent is at Genesis.  Bischoff won’t tell him.  What a dick!  RVD offers to beat it out of him.  Bischoff says Abyss will “kill” RVD.

Brother Ray cuts a promo to the camera at Brother Devon.  He wants to fight in the parking lot or something.  Commercials!

Jeff Jarrett: MMA Specialist video package.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Jeff Jarrett comes out with Gunner, Murphy, and his other geeks.  He’s now changed into his gear, even though he was in street clothes 4 minutes ago.  He talks about the new rules he made last week to protect him from getting his ass kicked.  There’s some Twilight queer in the crowd.  Boo Boo Stewart?  Jarrett won’t fight him because he will be taller than him one day.  They pick a guy who looks like a midget Tyler Black.  His name is Jonathan Cruz.  He signs the contract.  He’s an idiot.

MMA Exhibition: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Jonathan Cruz.  Jarrett beats up the geek and wins with the ankle lock in 45 seconds.  Jarrett refuses to break the hold.  KURT ANGLE comes in through the crowd and chases Jarrett away.  Angle signs the contract to face Jarrett at Genesis!  Jarrett says Angle swore to never wrestle in TNA again.  Angle says it’s an exhibition.  It’s ON!  Commercials!

Moments ago, ^ happened!

Non-Title: AJ Styles & Kazarian vs. TNA World Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns.  Guns attack, clear the ring, and hit Styles and Kazarian with a double suicide dive.  Guns double team Styles back inside.  The heels cut off Sabin and work him over.  Sabin plays face in peril, then rallies and drops Kazarian with a lariat.  Shelley and Styles tag in.  Shelley runs wild and avoids being double teamed.  He takes Kazarian out with a dive.  Back inside, Styles and Shelley do an awesome countering sequence.  Shelley hits a brainbuster.  Kazarian saves.  Shelley back body drops him to the floor.  Styles tries to hit Shelley with the belt.  Shelley ducks.  Sabin superkicks Styles.  Shelley hits the Shiranui on Styles for the pin in 4:47.  Good little match.  Beer Money appear and beat down the Guns.  Eric Bischoff comes out and looks pissed off at Styles.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero bitches about how someone has been following him around with a camera.  He says he’s going to find them and demand an apology.  Yeah, kick that TNA camera man’s ass!  Commercials.

Eric Bischoff at Ric Flair bitch at AJ Styles in the office.  Bischoff tells him to get the job done this Sunday or else!

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is in the ring.  He calls out whoever is video taping him.  Samoa Joe comes out.  Is Joe a paparazzi now?  Joe spouts off some philosophical stuff about Pope being a false prophet or something.  He talks about how Pope pretends to be doing good deeds, but he’s actually a dick.  Pope defends his going to strip clubs and adopting puppies.  He warns Joe against falsely accusing him again.  This is stupid.

Mickie James & Velvet Sky are headed our way!  Commercials!

Brother Devon says he’ll go fight Ray in the parking lot tonight.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne & Sarita (w/ Tara) vs. Mickie James & Velvet Sky.  Velvet attacks Sarita.  Velvet tries, but everything she does looks horrible.  Velvet gets cut off via heel chicanery and plays face in peril.  This goes on for some time and is very uninteresting.  Velvet makes a comeback, but Madison cuts her off.  Mickie comes in and kicks Madison’s ass.  As the referee tries to regain control, Tara hits Velvet with the elbow brace.  Sarita pins Velvet in 4:34.  This sucked.

RVD bitches at Eric Bischoff in the office.  Bischoff says he has a match tonight.  Against another mystery opponent.  Commercials.

Non-Title: Rob Terry vs. TNA World Television Champion Douglas Williams.  Williams smoothly eludes the larger Terry.  Terry finally connects with a shoulder block that sends Williams to the floor.  AJ Styles attacks Williams to cause the DQ in 1:10.  Lame.  Styles and Terry injure Williams’ hand.

Brother Ray is going to the parking lot.  Commercials.

Brother Ray and Brother Ray are in the parking lot now.  Ray hides behind security and talks shit.  Of course, this goes on way too long.  Bubba finally attacks Devon while security is holding him back.  He warns Devon against showing up at Genesis.

Jeff Jarrett tells Eric Bischoff that he has a plan for Sunday.  Bischoff asks Jarrett to shoot RVD.  Jarrett is worried about Kurt Angle interfering.  Bischoff makes him feel better by making it No DQ.  Huh?

Non-Title: Abyss vs. TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal.  Entrances, commercials, bell.  At least they waited for me.  Lethal tries to take down Abyss and fails miserably.  Abyss tries to throw Lethal around and succeeds magnificently.  Lethal uses his speed to try to gain the upperhand.  He kicks Abyss in the leg and lands a dropkick.  Abyss tries to chokeslam him.  Lethal hits a handspring elbow.  He finally knocks Abyss down with a missile dropkick for 2.  Abyss catches Lethal with the Black Hole Slam.  Cover, but Abyss pulls Lethal up at 2.  Abyss beats on Lethal in the corner.  The ref DQs him in 3:27.  Lame.  Abyss shoves down the referee.  Continuing tonight’s trend, Kazarian comes down.  He pretends to beg Abyss to stop beating up Lethal.  He taunts Lethal, asking him to stand up.  Abyss holds Lethal up and forces him to shake Kazarian’s hand.

Up next, Mike Tenay’s sit down interview with Matt Morgan and Mr. Anderson!  Commercials.

Genesis hype.

Mike Tenay’s sit down interview with Matt Morgan and Mr. Anderson.  Same ol’ shit.

RVD vs. Jeff Jarrett is NEXT!  Commercials!

No DQ Match: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Rob Van Dam.  To the best of my knowledge, this is the first time these two have ever wrestled.  Tenay says it’s true, which means I’m probably wrong.  Jarrett runs around in circles like a geek.  RVD and the referee both insist that some contact be made.  Jarrett throws a kick.  RVD catches it and drops Jarrett with his “kick over the kick” move and does the “Rob Van Dam” thumb point.  Jarrett pokes RVD in the eye.  RVD drops him with another kick.  RVD beats up Jarrett in the corner.  RVD hits a springboard kick and goes for the Rolling Thunder.  Jarrett bails and runs around the ring.  RVD decks Jarrett again.  Murphy trips RVD, allowing Jarrett to get the advantage.  Jarrett applies a sleeper hold.  RVD escapes and makes his comeback.  One of the geeks runs in.  RVD throws him out of the ring and brings in a chair.  Other geeks run in.  RVD kicks their asses.  Gunner and Murphy beat down RVD and hold him for Jarrett.  Jarrett tells them to let him go.  RVD drops all of them with kicks.  TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy appears and gives RVD the Twist of Hate.  Jarrett gets the pin in 5:26.  Lame and overbooked.  Jarrett and Hardy beat down RVD.  Matt Morgan runs in to make the save.  Hardy tries to hit him with a chair.  Mr. Anderson appears, grabs the chair, and accidentally hits Morgan.  Oh noes!  Was it REALLY an accident?

As crappy as this show was, they’ve done WAY worse.

TNA Genesis 2009 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Opening (Cross The Line!), then a video package chronicling the rise of the Main Event Mafia, then hyping the important matches tonight.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us to Genesis LIVE from Charlotte, North Carolina.  Time for our opening “These guys have nothing else to do and we want to throw them on the show” match.

Elimination Match: Sonjay Dutt, Jimmy Rave, & Kiyoshi vs. LAX & Eric Young.  During the entrances the announcers mention that the Awesome Kong/Christy Hemme match scheduled for tonight will not happen due to injuries and that Rhino has not arrived at the building yet. Anyway, Homicide and Dutt start, then Rave and Young go at it a bit.  The big man, Hernandez, comes in against Kiyoshi, who now has a red streak in his hair.  LAX double teams Kiyoshi.  We get a split screen with Jim Cornette knocking on the MEM’s locker room and nobody answering.  Back in the ring, Homicide hits a modified Tiger Driver on Dutt.  He goes for a splash or a headbutt, but Dutt moves and tags in Kiyoshi.  Kiyoshi plays “generic Japanese guy” well.  This is also your “match with lots of dives to the outside” TNA has at least one of on every show.  Split screen: the MEM is still ignoring Cornette.  Dutt pins Young with his feet on the ropes at 10:38.  Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer, but Dutt escapes and tags in Rave.  Rave pins Homicide with a school boy and a handful of tights at 11:29.  It’s 3 on 1 against Homicide now, but he has a World Title shot soon, so he smashes all of them.  Border Toss eliminates Kiyoshi at 12:49.  A sit-out powerbomb sends Dutt to the showers at 13:07.  A top rope splash eliminates Rave at 13:47, leaving Hernandez as your sole survivor.  It seems like they realized they didn’t book enough shit for the PPV, so they threw this on to kill some time.

Scott Steiner finally answers the door.  Cornette thinks the MEM have something to do with Rhino not being there yet.  Steiner says Rhino is probably drunk pissing himself in a gutter somewhere.

Highlights of the X Division Championship Tournament are shown.  Tonight, the Motor City Machine Guns face each other in the final.

TNA X Division Championship Tournament – Final: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley.  Sabin beat Sonjay Dutt and Kiyoshi to make it here, while Shelley beat Jay Lethal and Eric Young.  Awesome “great workers starting a match” sequence.  They wrestle for nearly four minutes, then start nailing some strikes as well.  Sabin ends up on the outside and ducks back into the ring to avoid a diving from Shelley.  Shelley lands on his feet, but then takes a dive from Sabin.  Back in the ring, Shelley hits a cool cannonball leg drop back in the ring.  They both do neat submission holds at various points.  This is just an awesome match.  Even the announcers aren’t awful for a change.  Sabin hits a swank tornado DDT for a two count.  Sabin dives off the ropes, but Shelley catches him in an armbar and transitions into the crossface.  More cool stuff.  Sabin gets another near fall with a Tiger suplex hold.  My wife keeps walking in front of the TV and making me miss spots, but I did catch Shelley hitting a Schwein.  Shelley goes for a frog splash, but Sabin catches him with knees.  Shelley manages to hit a frog splash to the back, then another to the front, and Sabin kicks out!  “THIS IS AWESOME!” chant.  For once, the morons are right.  Sabin nails a lariat and the Cradle Shock for a near fall.  Sabin goes for an avalanche Cradle Shock, but Sabin fights out and hits the Shiranui for the near fall.  Shelley feigns a foot injury and school boys a concerned Sabin for the win at 16:40.  Weak finish to a really good match.

Jim Cornette tells Jeremy Borash that not only is Rhino missing, but Kevin Nash is in the hospital with a staph infection, she he’s out of the main event.  Mick Foley instructs Cornette to tell the Main Event Mafia to find a suitable replacement.

Tenay and West run down the matches still to come tonight.

Bashir/Sewell video package.

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Shane Sewell.  Sewell comes out to no reaction and Tenay puts over how the crowd is solidly on his side.  Sewell does a wrestling move here and there, but it’s essentially a brawl, which makes sense given the storyline.  Around the 9 minute mark, Sewell locks in a figure-four leglock, which gets a big reaction in Charlotte.  Bashir takes a swing at referee Earl Hebner and gets slapped for his trouble.  Sewell gets the win with a sunset flip and a fast count from Hebner at 10:18.  The other referees run out to celebrate with Sewell.  The match was fine, but I had a feeling it was longer than it needed to be.

Cornette interrogates Booker T (w/ Sharmell) about why Rhino is missing.  Booker threatest Cornette.  Sewell gets involved, leading to an altercation between Booker and Sewell.

Hype video for the Tag title match.

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed (c) vs. Beer Money (w/ Jacqueline) vs. Matt Morgan & Abyss.  Lethal & Creed cashed in their Feast or Fired briefcase and took advantage of an injury to Robert Roode to win the titles a month before… er, I mean three days before on iMPACT!.  Nothing interesting happens for a few minutes, then there’s a funny spot where Beer Money and Jacqueline fall in a way that looks like Storm and Roode are double teaming Jackie.  Double teaming in the adult film way, not the wrestling match way.  Morgan dives from the top rope onto all four of his opponents on the outside.  The match goes back to being not especially interesting after that, other than a cool double team spot from Beer Money on Creed.  At 14 1/2 minutes, Abyss accidentally nails Morgan with one of the tag title belts.  Roode covers, but the referee is busy ejecting Jacqueline.  Lethal comes off with the diving elbow, but Storm blasts him with the superkick.  Storm puts Roode on top of Morgan for the three count to regain the belts at 15:21.

Kurt Angle barges into Jim Cornette’s office.  Angle tells Cornette the MEM beat up Rhino, but they did leave him with cab fare.

Taylor Wilde, ODB, & Roxxi vs. The Kongtourage (Raisha Saeed, Rhaka Khan, & Sojourner Bolt).  If TNA needed a couple of big black women, why didn’t they call Jazz?  The faces all get their shine, then the heels get heat on Wilde.  Hot tag to ODB, who cleans house.  ODB hits a powerslam on Saeed, then Bolt completely misses making the save.  It looked like that to me anyway.  Wilde dives to the outside to take out Bolt and Saeed.  ODB pins Saeed with an inside cradle on 7:46.  Match wasn’t very good.  Lots of botches.  Awesome Kong comes out and chokeslams ODB, trying not to show that here back was hurt, which was half the reason the Kong/Hemme match didn’t happen.

Cornette asks Sting why he condones the MEM attacking his opponent for tonight.  Sting takes offense at Cornette assuming he had anything to do with it, since, ya know, they need an out in case they decide to turn him face again.

Kurt Angle/Jeff Jarrett video package.  Man, I really need to watch their Bound For Glory match.  I bet it was good.

No DQ Grudge Match: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett.  Jarrett starts off with angry punches.  They fight at ringside.  Split screen: Rhino is here, mad and selling a back injury.  Jarrett throws beer in Angle’s face.  Alcohol abuse!  Tenay says the cup of beer was 24 ounces.  They are big cups.  I wish the beers at the Civic Center where I go to shows were 24 ounces.  Angle takes over on Jarrett in the ring.  Jarrett hits a nice armdrag to counter the Angle slam and hits a smooth backdrop to send Angle over the top rope.  Jarrett dives out onto Angle!  He botched it, though.  Angle throws Jarrett over the announce table.  Angle hits Jarrett with the bell.  Jarrett is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Angle is bloody too as they brawl on the stage.  ANGLE SLAM OFF THE STAGE THROUGH A TABLE!  On replay, it looks like Jarrett mostly missed the table and went straight to concrete.  They make it back to the ring.  They’re both bloody and full of hate.  Jarrett hits a Pedigree of all things.  Jarrett goes for the Stroke, but Angle counters and locks in the Ankle Lock.  Jarrett dropkicks a chair into Angle’s face and hits the Stroke for a near fall.  Angle hits a missile dropkick and the Angle Slam for a near fall of his own.  Jarrett tries to use the guitar, but Angle kicks him in the balls to prevent it.  Angle asks the crowd if he should use the guitar or the chair.  He decides on the chair.  He blasts Jarrett with it, but Jarrett kicks out again.  Angle ducks an enzuigiri and locks in the ankle lock.  Jarrett rolls through and gets a near fall off a front cradle.  Jarrett counters another Angle Slam attempt with a DDT.  Jarrett picks up the guitar again, but it’s broken, so Jarrett blasts Angle with a chair shot instead.  Jarrett lays on the cover, but Angle counters into a crucifix hold for the win at 22:00.  Another great match with a weak finish.  Angle Pillmanizes Jarrett’s angle with the chair after the match.

Backstage, Cornette tries to persuade Rhino to not go through the match tonight.  Rhino says he’s wrestling.

Back in the arena, Jeff Jarrett is stretchered away.  They show replays of the post-match Angle.

Rhino/Sting video package.  Rhino has stepped up to the front line of, well… the Frontline.  Remember: Rhino pinned Sting clean in a non-title match to set this up.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sting (c) vs. Rhino.  Rhino is selling the off-camera beatdown we heard about earlier.  Rhino, who was already bleeding to sell the beating, gets his bandage ripped off and bleeds more.  After 6 minutes of not much happening, Rhino hits the Gore.  Sting rolls to the outside before he can get pinned.  Rhino goes for a frog splash back in the ring, but misses.  Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Rhino doesn’t tap, despite the fact that he’s selling a back injury.  Rhino makes it the ropes, but Sting pulls him back to the middle, so Rhino gets another rope break.  Rhino goes for the Gore again, but Sting moves and hits the Scorpion Death Drop for the victory at 8:24.  Really weak match.

Jeremy Borash interviews Mick Foley, Brother Devon, and AJ Styles.  Styles dedicates the match tonight to Samoa Joe and his newborn son.  Devon dedicates it to Brother Ray.  Foley gets his interview time next and is in full Cactus Jack mode.

Frontline/Main Event Mafia video package, and it’s main event time.  Booker and Steiner come out first.  Booker’s accent keeps getting more and more retarded.  Booker introduces their replacement: “Cutie” Kip.  WTF?  I guess they couldn’t find a suitable replacement after all.  Kip runs down his credentials.  He says he’s a two time Intercontinental Champion.  He’s not.  The MEM’s suitable replacement can’t even count to 1!

The Main Event Mafia of TNA Legends Champion Booker T (w/ Sharmell) & Scott Steiner and Kip James vs. Mick Foley and The Frontline of AJ Styles & Brother Devon.  Everybody pairs off and brawls to start the match.  The match settles down in the ring.  Nothing interesting happens.  Bell rings for a double count-out at 8:20.  Cornette comes out and orders the match restarted.  Booker says he doesn’t have the authority.  Foley says that Cornette doesn’t have the authority, but HE does.  Foley orders the match restarted as a Hardcore Match!  Now the match is a wild brawl WITH PLUNDER!  Styles puts Kip through a table with a dive.  Devon hits a diving headbutt on Steiner.  Booker blasts Devon with the scissors kick.  Foley puts Booker in the Socko Claw, but Steiner hits Foley with a trash can.  Foley gives Steiner a double arm DDT on a chair for the win at about 16 minutes.  Match was bad.  Fin.

I give the show as a whole thumbs in the middle.  Shelley/Sabin and Angle/Jarrett both had very good matches, but weak finishes.  The rest of the show was just plain bad.

TNA iMPACT! 1/21/10 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

Genesis highlight video.  The name of this episode is “AJ Styles… Whooo!”

Ric Flair and the World Champion AJ Styles arrive in a limo with bimbos.

Impact open, pyro and ballyhoo, Mike Tenay and Taz.

Ric Flair comes out with bimbos.  Flair says he had 3 reasons for coming to TNA: 1.) He hates Hulk Hogan.  2.) He wants AJ Styles to be the new Nature Boy.  3.)  He nailed Dixie Carter.  That was the short version.  Be thankful.  Flair introduces AJ Styles (in a suit and with yet another bimbo).  Styles cuts a promo and comes off like a goofy kid pretending to be Ric Flair.  Kurt Angle comes out with Hulk Hogan in tow.  Hogan says he changed his mind about enforcing the Genesis stipulation and he’s giving Angle another title shot tonight.  If Flair interferes, Angle wins the title.

Matt Morgan’s New Year’s Resolution is to do more for charity.

Mick Foley is throwing a tamper backstage and looking for Eric Bischoff.

Tenay and Taz run down what’s on tap for TONIGHT!

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Matt Morgan & Hernandez (c) vs. The British Invasion.  This is the Brits’ rematch, having lost the titles at Genesis.  Williams beats up Morgan to start.  Magnus does the revolving elbows in the corner, clotheslines Williams, picks him up for a sidewalk slam, then just drops him.  Brits get the advantage on Morgan.  Hernandez gets the tag and runs wild.  Modified Border Toss thingy gets 2.  Rob Terry comes out as Williams hits a German suplex hold for 2.  Terry throws in his Feast or Fired case to Magnus.  Magnus accidentally clocks Williams, allowing Hernandez to get the pin in 4:00.  The match was meh.  Mick Foley comes out and hits the Brits with a chair, then double arm DDTs Williams onto the chair.  Foley tells the camera that Bischoff should schedule an appointment for him.

Audio clips of Jeff Jarrett on the Bubba The Love Sponge Show.  Jarrett keeps hanging up on him.

Hogan and Bischoff talk in their office.  Bischoff is going to take care of “Cactus Jack” and Hogan is going to take care of “that other thing.”  Kevin Nash comes in.  The Band is out of control and Nash is tagging with Eric Young tonight.

Orlando Jordan comes out.  Cut to Christy Hemme interviewing “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.

Orlando Jordan vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  They lock up.  Jordan does an arm drag.  I kinda wish Orlando Jordan would fuck off and die.  Pope does his slide over the guy and out of the ring deal.  Jordan hits a Dragon screw leg whip on Pope’s injured knee.  Jordan hits a Flatliner for the pin in 3:01.

Christy interviews Kurt Angle.

The Pope says every day is a new year for him.

More Jarrett on Bubba.

Nash and Eric Young talk backstage.

Beautiful People history package.

More Jarrett/Bubba.

Bobby Lashley meets with Eric Bischoff.  Despite what Lashley’s wife has been saying, he wants to wrestle in TNA.

Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love.  Rayne begs off, then gets a cheap shot in and beats up Love.  Angelina fights back and kicks her ass.  Angelina gets the pin after a thrust kick in 1:04.  She rips Rayne’s shirt off and chokes her with it.  Hot.  Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich come out.  Love fights off Lacey and Rayne at first.  They finally get the 3 on 1 beat down and Lacey hits Love with the ugly stick (a pink nightstick).

Bubba interviews Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac.  They defend Hall’s beating up of “a fan” at Genesis.

Hogan and Bischoff are headed our way!

Velvet Sky doesn’t have a New Years’ Resolution.

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come to the ring.  Hogan babbles, then calls out The Band.  Hogan really hates rock, paper, scissors, so he kicks Hall and Pac out of the building.  Mick Foley comes out.  Commercials.

Eric Young says he’ll be dominate in 2010.

Nash tells Hall and Pac he’ll take care of things, so they leave.

The Nasty Boys vs. Kevin Nash & TNA Global Champion Eric Young.  Sags and Young start.  Young tries.  Sags beats him up.  Knobs tags in and beats up Young.  Nash tags in and beats up Knobs.  Sags tags in and clotheslines Nash for 2.  Nash drops Sags tag in Young, who hits a diving elbow for 2.  Knobs take out Nash.  Nastys give Young the Pit Stop.  Sags hits a pumphandle slam on Young for the pin in 3:09.  This sucked.

Angle vs. Styles is still to come!

Ken Anderson Anderson is headed our way!

During the break, Team 3D clobbered the Nasty Boys with chair shots backstage.

Highlights of Mr. Anderson’s debut against Abyss at Genesis.

Ken Anderson comes out and talks.  Abyss sneaks in behind him.  Anderson goes on making fun of Abyss.  Abyss finally taps Anderson on the shoulder, then kicks his ass.

Brother Devon’s resolution is to be a good wrestler.  Good luck with that, buddy.

Brother Ray’s is to have fun.

Abyss apologizes to Bischoff backstage.  Bischoff says the only reason Abyss has a job is because Hogan likes him.  Bischoff goes into Hogan’s office, where Mick Foley is being restrained by security.  They agree to have a civilized discussion.  Foley yells at Bischoff.  Bischoff has the camera guy leave.  Stupid segment.  I’m just happy they didn’t cut straight to the invisible camera.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) vs. Kurt Angle.  Earl Hebner is the referee.  Just mentioning that in case it comes into play later on.  Styles jumps Angle before the bell.  Angle fights back and kicks his ass.  Angle back body drops Styles, who bails.  Angle chases him back into the ring and gets the boots put to him.  Angle hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2.  Angle hammers Styles.  A clothesline gets 2 for Angle.  Angle tries a German, but Styles holds onto the ropes and kicks him low.  Styles puts the boots to Angle.  Insta-commercial.  They trade blows in the middle of the ring.  Styles clips Angle’s leg and puts him in the figure-four leglock.  Angle escapes and hits a belly to belly overhead suplex, then goes for the Angle Slam, but Styles arm drags his way out of it.  Angle hits the rolling Germans.  Angle goes for the Slam again, but AJ avoids and hits the Pele kick, then goes for the Styles Clash.  Angle counters it and locks in the ankle lock.  Styles rolls through, locks in his own ankle lock, and Hebner IMMEDIATELY calls for the bell.  “BULLSHIT” chants.  That’s right, another lame Montreal rehash.  Hogan comes out.  Angle yells at him, accusing him of having something to do with it, “quits,” and spits on Hogan’s face.  Insta-commercial.

During the break, Angle stole Mike Tenay’s chair and beat up the set with it.

A bloody Eric Bischoff stumbles his way to the ring, takes the microphone, and fires Mick Foley.  End.

Man, what a fucking disjointed mess of a show.

TNA Genesis 2010 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 17, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  They should change it to “TNA… We are wrestling’s old folks home.”  PPV opening video, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are our hosts for the first TNA PPV of 2010.

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come down the ramp that goes all the way to the ring, which is now a normal 4 sided ring.  Hogan puts over the changes.  Crowd chants “WE WANT SIX SIDES!”  Hogan says the four sided ring is where wrestling was meant to be done.  Hogan bashes TNA’s “competitor.”  Bischoff says there’s a lot more change to come.  Hogan ends by warning Vince McMahon that TNA is coming for him.  You’d think these goofs would have learned by now that you can’t out-Vince Vince McMahon.

Tenay and Taz do their opening bit: putting over TNA, bashing the “competition,” and hyping the card for tonight.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Amazing Red (c) vs. Brian Kendrick.  Kendrick is the mystery opponent, still basically doing the “THE Brian Kendrick” gimmick.  The announcers don’t make a big deal out of Kendrick.  Kendrick applies an ARMBAR! to start.  They roll in and out of holds a bit.  Kendrick works the armbar and a crossface.  Awesome little sequence that was too quick to describe.  Red ranas Kendrick out of the ring, teases a dive, Kendrick gets back in and kinda spears him, then kicks him out of the ring.  Kendrick throws some kicks at Red’s leg and works the leg a bit.  The announcers talk about Bobby Lashley claiming that he’s not going to wrestle tonight.  Kendrick keeps working the leg.  Red fights back, sends Kendrick out of the ring, and takes him out with a flip dive from the top rope.  The announcers keep mentioning Brooke Hogan at ringside.  Back inside, Red hits a dropkick off the top for 2.  Red comes off the top for another move, but Kendrick avoids him and applies a half crab.  More torture for the leg.  Red lands a kick.  They trade blows.  Red takes Kendrick down with a head scissors and gets a 2 count.  Kendrick lands a one legged dropkick for 2.  He puts the boots to Red.  “X DIVISION!” chant.  Red hits a springboard Code Red for the pin in 9:04.  Match was okay, but a little slow and sloppy in places.

Bischoff and Hogan talk to The Band backstage.  They reiterate that Hall and Waltman aren’t under contracts and have to earn their spots.  Hall and Waltman play Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide which of them will wrestle tonight.  Waltman wins 2 out of 3.

Sean Morley comes out for his match.  The show his fight with Daniels last week on iMPACT!  He gives his towel to Brooke Hogan, then does the same spiel he was doing 10 years ago.  Crowd chants “WE WANT WRESTLING!”  Daniels comes out, bitches about Morley’s shtick, threatens to slap fans, and gets in the ring for…

Sean Morley vs. Daniels.  They brawl.  Daniels bails.  Morley pursues.  They trade blows back inside.  Daniels tries to bail again, but Morley won’t let him.  Morley hits a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Morley targets Daniels’ ribs.  Daniels pulls Morley across the ropes and starts getting the advantage on him.  Daniels applies something of a triangle choke.  The referee forces him to break it.  I think Morley is supposed to be the babyface here, but he’s getting booed and Daniels is getting cheered, despite Daniels being a dick to the crowd before the match.  Daniels does a swank head scissors on the ropes to choke Morley, then kicks him in the head and hits his weird sorta split legged moonsault.  Daniels continues to choke Morley at every opportunity.  Morley fights back and targets Daniels’ ribs again.  Blue Thunder Driver gets 2 for Morley.  Crowd chants “THAT’S HIS MOVE!”  Daniels does do that move, doesn’t he?  Daniels locks in the Koji Clutch.  Crowd chants “SIT DOWN BROOKE!” at Brooke Hogan, who apparently was standing up.  Daniels hits an STO for 2.  Morley avoids the BME and hits a half nelson slam, then goes up top.  Daniels hits the Venus palm strike and goes for an Iconoclasm.  Morley stops it.  Daniels hits another palm strike and tries a Frankensteiner off the top, but Morley holds on to the ropes, then hits the Money Shot for the pin in 9:07.  Fine little match, but the Impact Zone mutants hurt it.

Tara/ODB video package.  Tenay and Taz go over the Tale of the Tape.  It’s really not a Tale of the Tape.  Idiots.

2/3 Falls Match for the TNA Knockouts Championship: ODB (c) vs. Tara.  They go chest to chest, then pull each others’ hair.  ODB pulls some of Tara’s extensions out, so Tara kicks her ass.  Tara hits the standing moonsault for 2.  Tara chops ODB in the tits and ODB sells it.  Tara throws some kicks and drops ODB with an enzuigiri.  Hilo leg drop gets 2.  ODB fights back and hits a fall away slam, nips up, and gets inside cradled by Tara for the pin in 2:43 to win the first fall.  Some football player is in the crowd.  Nobody but Tenay and Taz care.  ODB beats up Tara.  Tara catches ODB with an elbow in the corner and locks in the tarantula.  ODB sends Tara to the floor with a baseball slide dropkick.  ODB stun guns Tara into the ring apron.  Ouch.  Brooke tries to help Tara and gets chastised by ODB.  ODB gets in the ring and checks her pulse.  ODB grabs Tara on the apron and throws her back in.  Cover gets 2.  ODB checks her pulse again and clamps on a body scissors.  ODB does the rolling Kobashi cradle for 2.  ODB keeps going back to the body scissors and adds a sleeper to it.  Tara finally escapes.  ODB pulls something from between her tits, then hits a running powerslam for 2.  ODB checks her pulse again.  Tara hits the Widow’s Peak for the pin at 9:34 to win it in 2 straight falls.  This match was not good at all.

Christy Hemme interviews “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  The Pope is pimpin’, according to him.

Tenay and Taz go over the Tag Lines.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: The British Invasion (c) vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez.  Magnus starts with Morgan and bails after a moment.  Back in, Magnus avoids a chokeslam and tags in Williams.  Hernandez stops the Brits from hitting the double necktie.  The Brits bail.  Back in, Williams hits Hernandez with some European uppercuts and a knee int he corner, then tries a suplex.  They counter each other, then Hernandez hits a back body drop on Williams.  Hernandez uses his shirt to toss Williams.  Williams catches him in the corner with a boot then dives on him.  Hernandez catches him and goes for a powerbomb, but Magnus clips his leg.  The Brits hit a double superplex on Hernandez.  Williams tags in Magnus.  Double necktie on Hernandez.  Magnus throws some punches at him and clamps on a rear chin lock.  Crowd does the “OLE!” chant to encourage Hernandez.  Magnus applies an abdominal stretch and holds hands with Williams for more leverage… or just because they’re fruits.  The referee stops the assist.  Hernandez hits a big whirly power move on Magnus.  Morgan gets the tag and cleans house.  Revolving elbows in the corner to Williams.  Taz uses his former broadcast partner’s “VINTAGE!” line.  Williams hits a diving European uppercut.  Hernandez drops Williams.  Magnus drops Hernandez.  Morgan drops Magnus.  Morgan chokeslams Williams for 2.  Magnus decks Hernandez to knock him off the apron, then kicks Morgan into a German from Williams for 2.  Magnus tags in.  Brits try some double teaming, but Morgan deals with them both.  He tosses Williams off the top rope.  Hernandez takes on Williams, then hits something of a reverse powerbomb on Magnus.  Morgan finishes off Magnus with the Carbon Footprint for the pin in 8:51.  This wasn’t very good either.  The new champs celebrate.

Bobby Lashley barges into Bischoff’s office, where Bischoff is talking to Abyss.  Abyss kicks Lashley’s ass and whacks him with a monitor of some sort.  Bischoff is mad at Abyss for taking out his opponent for tonight, even though Abyss was just trying to protect Bischoff.  Hogan comes in and tells he’s going to have a match tonight.  They talk about being crazy.

Desmond Wolfe (w/ generic bimbo) vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Pope kisses Wolfe’s companion, which prompts a “POPE IS PIMPIN’!” chant.  They go at it.  Pope takes a light bump to the outside.  Pope comes back and locks Pope  into something like a reverse tarantula.  Diving fist drop from Pope gets 2.  Pope hits his “slide over the other guy out of the ring” move and appears to hurt his knee.  Wolfe goes after him and says he’s no dummy.  Wolfe works Pope’s knee.  Pope fights back and manages to avoid the Tower of London, then spears Wolfe.  Pope hits a weird but neat suplex for 2.  I got distracted for a minute, then Pope got an inside cradle for 2.  Pope tries a backslide, but Wolfe counters.  Pope gets another inside cradle for 2.  Pope hits a whiplash move for 2.  Pope hits sort of an Alabama Slam for 2.  Pope goes for the Elijah Express, but Wolfe nails him with the jawbreaker lariat for the pin 13:31.  It was fine, but nothing you’re going to remember tomorrow.

Tenay and Taz talk about what we’ve seen and what’s still to come.

Jeremy Borash is in the back to do some sort of interview.  Eric Bischoff interrupts and tells him he’s taking him off television.  He hands the mic to Christy Hemme.  Ric Flair steps in, so Christy decides to interview him.  He’s not ready to explain what the hell he’s doing in TNA.

The Band/Beer Money video package.

Kevin Nash & Syxx-Pac vs. Beer Money.  Waltman is announced as “Syxx-Pac,” so I guess that’s the name he’s going with this time around.  Pac and Storm start.  Pac feigns some kicks, then gets hip tossed and arm dragged.  Crowd chants “HOGAN SUCKS!” I think.  Tag to Roode, some double teaming, and knee drop to Pac for 2.  Nash tags in and there goes any chance of this match being good.  Roode throws some chops at Nash, then tries to knock him down with clotheslines but fails twice, finally succeeds on the third.  Tag to Storm.  Beer Money does the wishbone spot to Nash, then drop toe holds Pac into Nash’s balls.  The Band works over Storm.  Nash is shockingly spry at one point in stopping Storm from tagging out.  Storm hits a Codebreaker on Nash.  Pac tags in.  Roode gets the hot tag and cleans house on Pac.  Nash comes in and gets dealt with by Roode as well.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Pac and covers, but Nash saves.  Nash charges Roode in the corner and gets kicked in the head by Storm.  Beer Money double suplexes Pac and does the BEER!  MONEY! post.  Scott Hall comes out and distracts Beer Money.  Nash runs through them with a double clothesline.  Chokeslam to Roode gets 2.  Hall beats up a “fan.”  Pac goes to restrain him.  Storm superkicks Nash, leading to Roode getting the pin with a jackknife hold in 9:44.  Match was good in parts, but the end was a confusing mess.

Hulk Hogan tells Eric Bischoff that he’s going to deal with The Band this Thursday on Impact.  They’re such douches.  Oh, and TNA has finally introduced the invisible camera.

Abyss vs. Ken Anderson.  Mr. “Don’t call me Kennedy” Anderson is the big surprise that Hogan talked about on Impact.  He does his hole introducing himself bit before the match.  Anderson slaps Abyss.  Abyss slugs him back and drops him.  Kennedy gets shoved around, then hammers Abyss with punches.  More back and forth brawling.  Anderson clips Abyss’ knee, then kicks him in the arm.  Abyss bails.  Anderson follows him out  and smacks the bad arm against anything he can find.  Crowd chants “OVERRATED!” at Anderson.  He grabs a chair, but Abyss kicks it out of his hands and fights back.  Anderson chokes Abyss with a boot back inside.  Anderson sends Abyss into the turnbuckle and schoolboys him for 2.  Anderson continues working the arm.  Abyss comes back and drops Anderson with a big boot, whips him into the corner, wastes a bunch of time clapping his hands, then squashes Anderson in the corner.  Sidewalk slam gets 2.  Anderson rakes Abyss’ eyes to escape the Shock Treatment and hits a hangman’s neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson comes off the top and gets caught and chokeslammed.  Cover gets 2.  Abyss hits the Shock Treatment for 2.  Abyss brings in a chair.  Anderson pulls a pair of brass knucks out of his trunks.  The referee takes the chair away  and goes to put it away.  While his back is turned. Anderson KO’s Abyss with the knucks and gets the pin in 10:36.  Yeah, this one wasn’t any good either.  Anderson announces himself as the winner while still selling the beating.

Angle/Styles video package.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) vs. Kurt Angle.  They lock up.  The crowd is obnoxious.  They wrestle, and it’s good, but the crowd has to do their obnoxious dueling chants.  Then they chant “YOU’RE BOTH AWESOME!”  I want to personally strangle them all.  Angle takes Styles down, so Styles bails.  Styles takes Angle down, so Angle bails.  Man this crowd is so fucking annoying.  Why the fuck do they feel the need to chant constantly?  Angle gets a schoolboy for 2.  More fast wrestling.  Man this would be great in front of a decent crowd.  They work a Greco Roman knuckle lock.  Man, I don’t know why the mutants are bothering me so much today.  Styles hits a dropkick and clamps on a rear chin lock.  More stuff happens.  Styles elbows Angle out of the ring and tries to dive, but Angle pulls him down and sends AJ’s face into the apron.  Angle rolls Styles back in and covers for 2.  Angle hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker for 2.  More stuff happens.  Angle hits a release German suplex on Styles, then puts the boots to him in the corner.  Another backbreaker gets 2 for Angle.  Styles starts fighting back, then they hit each other with cross body blocks.  Ric Flair comes out and stands at ringside.  Angle and Styles trade blows.  Styles sends Angle to the floor and hits a suicide dive.  Man, those guardrails are awfully close to the ring in this new set up.  Back side, Angle catches AJ with a boot in the corner, then AJ hits that fireman’s carry backbreaker thing.  AJ hits the springboard forearm for 2.  Angle backdrops out of the Styles Clash and hits the rolling Germans on Styles.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Styles arm drags out of it.  Styles tries a German, but Angle goes behind and hits another release German for 2.  Styles avoids the Angle Slam again and hits the Pele kick for 2.  Styles goes for the Clash again, but Angle rams him into the corner.  Angle drops Styles with aclothesline for 2.  Angle goes for the ankle lock, but Styles avoids it and drops Angle with a clothesline.  Styles hits a diving rana, then goes for the springboard 450, but Angle moves.  Angle hits the Angle Slam, but Styles kicks out.  Angle goes for his gorgeous moonsault, but Styles moves out of the way.  Styles goes for the Styles Clash again, but Angle counters and locks in the ankle lock.  AJ fights out, gets backdropped to the apron and hits a springboard cross body for 2.  Styles tries a Styles Clash from the top, fails, dives at Angle.  Angle catches him and hits AJ with his own Styles Clash for a 2 count.  Angle tries the Angle Slam again, but Styles turns it into a DDT.  Styles hits Angle’s own Angle Slam for 2.  Styles goes up top.  Angle sprints up and hits the Angle Slam off the top.  Styles kicks out at 2.  Okay Kurt, you’ve officially killed your finish.  Happy?  Angle locks in the ankle lock again.  Styles tries to fight out, but Angle keeps it clamped on.  Angle grapevines the leg.  Ric Flair pulls referee Earl Hebner out of the ring just in time for him to not see Styles tap out.  Angle goes after Flair, chasing him out of and into the ring.  Styles drops Angle with a clothesline.  Flair throws AJ the belt to use as a weapon.  AJ nails Kurt with the belt.  Flair throws Hebner into the ring to count the pin in 28:47.  And here I was thinking that TNA was going to get through a whole PPV without anyone interfering for the finish.  It was still a good match, but I thought their TV match was loads better.  Styles and Flair celebrate to end the show.

Man, this was not a good show.  Hogan and Bischoff are obviously booking what they want and not giving a fuck what the fans (even if they are annoying morons in the Impact Zone) want, which Hogan made clear in his opening promo.  Fuck this company.

TNA iMPACT! 1/14/10 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 14, 2010 by Grappleholic

The show starts with highlights of the January 4 Impact.  Ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the hosts.

Generation Me vs. The Motor City Machine Guns.  Well this is awesome on paper.  Generation Me are the Young Bucks.  Sabin starts with the dark haired one.  Quick tag to Shelley.  Apparently the Bucks’ new names are Max and Jeremy.  I’m still not sure which is which.  They show “The Band,” Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Sean Waltman arriving.  The dark haired Buck hits a sweet neckbreaker off the top on Sabin, then tags in the light haired one.  Tenay says the light haired one is Jeremy.  Jeremy takes out Shelley with an Asai moonsault, then hits a swank springboard facebuster on Sabin.  Tag to Max.  Sabin tries to fight them both, but they double team him.  Taz says “Who are these young bucks?”  Tag to Shelley, who hits a diving thrust kick on Max.  Max spears Shelley.  Stereo splash/standing moonsault by Generation Me.  Sabin saves.  Shelley hits the Complete Shot into the turnbuckle on Max.  Sabin takes out Jeremy.  Guns double team Max again.  Jeremy saves.  Jeremy avoids a Sabin dive to the outside.  Jeremy superkicks Shelley.  Max pins Shelley at 5:00 after the More Bang For Your Buck.  Great little sprint.

The Nasty Boys are still in Team 3D’s locker room, which they’ve completely trashed.  Team 3D  knocks on the door.  The Nastys tell them in girly voices that it isn’t their locker room anymore.  Stupid.

Video package of Hulk Hogan announcing that Kurt Angle will challenge AJ Styles for the World Title at Genesis, but it’s Angle’s last shot at Styles.  Also, a new “Impact player” will debut at Genesis.

Kurt Angle comes out and talks.  AJ Styles comes out to retort.  They shake hands and hug.  After Angle leaves, the masked man beats up Styles.  He unmasks to reveal Tomko, then leaves.

Christy Hemme interviews The Band.  She calls Waltman “Syxx-Pac.”  What name are they using, then?  Bubba The Love Sponge takes over the interview.  They beat up Mick Foley last week, and now nobody knows where he is.

The Beautiful People come out for their match. Velvet Sky is happy to see Angelina Love in the front row.

Non-Title: The Beautiful People (w/ Lacey Von Erich) vs. TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Awesome Kong & Hamada. Sky and Hamada start. Velvet gets the better of Hamada. The Beauts try double teaming, but Hamada trips them and tags in Kong, who kills them. Awesome Bomb to Rayne gets the pin at 1:56. Love comes in the ring, seemingly to check on Rayne, but then beats up Rayne and Velvet.

AJ Styles goes into Eric Bischoff’s office looking for Hogan. Bischoff says Hogan is fucking off somewhere. He wants Tomko tonight. Bischoff says he can have the match if he puts the title on the line. Styles agrees.

Beer Money is looking for Eric Bischoff. More commercials. Seriously, there was a commercial, then like a 20 second clip where Beer Money is looking for Bischoff, then more commercials.

Jeremy Borash goes into the Hogan/Bischoff room.  Bischoff is apparently talking to the mystery man.  Borash asks about Mick Foley’s whereabouts.  Bischoff chews him out for letting Foley into the building last week.  Beer Money comes in.  They want the Outsiders at the PPV.  Bischoff drinks Storm’s beer, then tells them he’ll get back to them.

Lethal Consequences comes out for a match against Team 3D.  Bobby Lashley jumps them and kills them both as Kristal looks on approvingly.  Kristal says Lashley will continue to beat people up until she gets her meeting with Hogan.  They leave.  Team 3D comes out, with Bubba carrying an axe.

Lethal Consequences vs. Team 3D.  3D on Creed.  Devon gets the pin.  I didn’t get to time it, but it was around 10 seconds.  Bubba cuts a promo on the Nasty Boys.  He says they’re going to the back to take their locker room back.

Bubba cuts down the door with the axe.  3D finds their locker room trashed.  The Nasty Boys jump them from behind, throw stuff at them, and leave them laying.

Tomko video, talking about his former tag team with AJ Styles.  Didn’t he just reveal himself half an hour ago?

Sean Morley comes out as Tenay announces that Lashley vs. Abyss has been added to Genesis.  Apparently he’s now directing, producing, and distributing porn instead of acting in it.  They randomly cut to a disgusted looking girl in the crowd.  He wants to create a TNA Films division.  Christopher Daniels comes out.  He acts happy and welcomes Morley to TNA, turns on him, and stomps a mudhole in him, then drops him with a Rock Bottom and hits the BME.  Daniels bitches at him on the mic.  Morley wakes up and clotheslines Daniels to the floor.

Tara/ODB video.  They’ll meet at Genesis in a 2/3 Falls Match.  I don’t care.

Jeff Jarrett (w/ guy in suit) is in the building!

Another random bit of show in the middle of the commercial: Matt Morgan and Hernandez are working out before their match with Beer Money.

Matt Morgan & Hernandez vs. Beer Money.  I got distracted during the first minute.  Beer Money suplexes Hernandez, then does the BEER! MONEY! post, which Morgan interrupts and drops them both.  Hernandez hits a springboard double clothesline on Beer Money, then pounces Roode across the ring, then takes on Beer Money with a suicide dive, then whistles.  Rob Terry attacks Hernandez to cause the DQ at 2:42.  They beat him backstage.  The Band comes out and beats down Beer Money.  Security and refs try to break it up.  Eric Bischoff comes out and stands on the stage.  Commercial.

Moments ago, what I just typed moments ago happened.  During the break, Bischoff told Beer Money that the next round is on him.  Does that mean they get their match?

Now, Bischoff talks to The Band in the ring.  He makes the match official.  Nash, Hall, and Waltman hug.  Sting is in the rafters.

Another Tomko video.  He’s mad because AJ never returned his phone calls.

Tenay and Taz reviewed the tape during the break, and their SURE that Sting is in the rafters.  Regular Holmes and Watson, those two.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Samoa Joe.  D’Angelo Dinero is on commentary.  He’ll face Wolfe at Genesis.  Joe hammers Nigel with punches, squashes him in the corner, kicks him.  Nigel fights back.  Joe hits the snap powerslam for 2.  Joe goes for the choke.  Nigel escapes.  Joe hits an STO.  Nigel counters another STO and gets awesome.  Nigel goes for the Tower of London, but Joe locks in the choke from the top rope.  Nigel hits the Tower of London anyway for the pin at 3:24.  Good little match.  So Cal Val replaces Nigel’s jacket and sunglasses.  Nigel tells Pope “If I can beat Joe, I can beat you.”

Ric Flair arrives in a limo.  He’s going to do color commentary!

Tomko video.  He put on a mask and attacked AJ a bunch.

Jeff Jarrett invades Hogan’s office and yells about “his company” a bunch.  He says TNA is and has always been him, that the young guys aren’t worth a damn.  Bischoff tells off Jarrett.  Jarrett yells at Hogan some more.  Hogan threatens to kick Jarrett’s ass.  Jarrett bitches down.

Tenay and Taz run down the Genesis card.

Ric Flair comes out to do commentary on the main event.  Commercials!

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) vs. Tomko.  AJ jumps Tomko before JB can finish the introductions.  They fight.  Kurt Angle comes out to observe.  He shakes hands and hugs Flair.  Tomko powerslams Styles for 2.  Tomko with a big boot for 2.  Commercials.  Tomko has Styles in a rear chin lock.  Commercials.  Tomko hits a powerslam for 2.  AJ starts fighting back and rocks him with an enzuigiri and the Pele kick for the pin in 7:50.  Match was kind a lame.  They keep fighting after the match.  Angle runs off Tomko.  Styles refuses to shake Angle’s hand.  That dick.

Genesis hype video to close the show.

Man, this was an ordeal.