Archive for Extreme Rules Match

WWE Extreme Rules 2012

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2012 by Chui

WWE open, awesome PPV opening video, pryo and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.  Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez are the Spanish announcers.

They show the shenanigans leading up to Kane vs. Randy Orton involving their respective fathers, Paul Bearer and Bob Orton Jr.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Kane vs. Randy Orton.  They brawl.  Orton gets punched off the top to the floor.  Cover on the floor gets 2.  Kane brings in a leg pipe.  Orton cuts him off and hits him with the pipe a few times, knocking him back to the floor on the last shot.  They fight in the crowd.  Orton knees Kane in the face for 2.  Kane slams Orton on the concrete for 2.  More crowd brawling.  They end up near the set.  Orton lands a dropkick for 2.  Kane blocks the RKO and boots Orton in the face for 2.  They brawl backstage.  They end up in a room with some geeks.  Zack Ryder attacks Kane, which only pisses him off.  Kane goozles Ryder, but Orton hits the 3.0 for 2.  Back into the hallway.  Kane throws something at Orton and covers for 2.  Back into the arena.  Back into the ring.  Orton drops Kane with a clothesline and hits a powerslam.  Orton retrieves a chair from underneath the ring and attacks Kane with it.  Back outside, where Orton clears off the announce table.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Orton prevents it.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER off the table to the floor!  Cover gets 2.  Kane blocks the RKO and sends Orton into the post.  Cover gets 2.  Back inside, Kane goes up top.  Orton crotches him and hits a superplex.  Cover gets 2.  Orton humps the mat.  Kane hits the chokeslam, but Orton kicks out!  Kane bitches at the referee.  Kane goes for the Tombstone on the chair.  Orton counts out and hits the RKO sort of on the chair for the pin in 16:45.  Fun match.

John Laurinaitis and Eve Torres are backstage with the Raw Roulette wheel.  Teddy Long brings in champagne.  He’s being humiliated after he lost his GM job at WrestleMania.  Laurinaitis gets a phone call from Triple H.

Chicago!

“The Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/ Hornswoggle, Cameron, & Naomi) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger).  They lock up.  Clay overpowers Ziggler.  Ziggler tries to take Clay down, but fails.  Swagger distracts Clay, allowing Ziggler to dropkick him out of the ring.  Ziggler distracts the referee while Swagger hits a shoulder block on the floor.  Back inside, Ziggler goes on the attack.  Clay goes for a knee lift, but Ziggler dropkicks his knee, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler lands a dropkick for 1.  Ziggler applies a rear chin lock.  Clay fights out.  Ziggler stays on the attack.  He goes for a suplex, but fails.  Clay throws him with a front suplex and makes his comeback.  Clay knocks Swagger on the apron.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but fails.  Clay hits a headbutt and a big splash for the pin in 4:18.  It was fine for what it was.

Earlier in the day, The Big Show and Cody Rhodes played Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal to determine the stipulation for their Intercontinental title match tonight.  It’s a Tables Match.

Lillian Garcia is the other ring announcer.

The show highlights of Show’s title victory over Rhodes at WrestleMania XXVIII.

Tables Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: The Big Show (c) vs. Cody Rhodes.  Show beats up Rhodes.  Rhodes bails after taking a big back body drop.  Show sets up a table on the outside and picks up Rhodes.  Rhodes slips off and chop blocks Show’s knee.  Show rallies and continues to beat and toss Rhodes around.  Show throws Rhodes and a table in the ring.  He throws Rhodes at the table in the corner, but Rhodes rebounds off of it and hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Rhodes charges, but Show shoulder blocks him.  Rhodes bails.  Show beats him up on the outside.  Show throws Rhodes back into the ring and gets in the apron.  Rhodes dropkicks Show, who steps through a table at ringside.  The referee rules Rhodes the winner in 4:35.  Stupid finish.  A pissed off Show drops Rhodes after the match, then chokeslams him through a table.  Crowd chants “One more time!”  Show press slams Rhodes out of the ring through another table.  Show leaves.  Rhodes is helped up and manages to hold up his belt while looking like he’s near tears.

Edge DVD plug.

Matt Striker interviews Daniel Bryan.  Will he become World Champion tonight?  YES!  YES!  YES!  Fun interview.  He walks away and they show AJ sulking in the background.

Sheamus/Bryan hype video.

2/3 Falls Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan.  Sheamus is wearing a t-shirt with “18 seconds” written on it, the time in which he beat Bryan for the title at WrestleMania.  I timed it at 19 seconds, but that’s neither here nor there.  Sheamus grabs a headlock and lands a shoulder block.  They do a brief mat exchange.  Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Bryan avoids it.  Sheamus taunts Bryan with how close that was.  They trade arm locks.  Sheamus hits a Finlay Roll for 2.  For some reason, I don’t know the proper name for that move.  Sheamus rolls through a sunset flip and locks Bryan in a Texas Cloverleaf.  Bryan gets the ropes.  Sheamus goes for it again, but Bryan gets an inside cradle for 2.  Sheamus beats up Bryan.  Bryan lands a lariat.  Sheamus rolls to the apron and Bryan dropkicks him to the floor.  Bryan dives off the apron, but Sheamus catches him and sends him into the barricade.  Back inside, Sheamus goes up top, but Bryan crotches him and goes on the attack.  Bryan goes to work on Sheamus’ shoulder.  They trade strikes.  Bryan gets a reverse cradle for 2.  More arm and shoulder torture inflicted by Bryan.  Sheamus makes his comeback and beats up Bryan.  Sheamus hits a fall away slam for 2.  Bryan gets a schoolboy for 2.  Bryan goes for a top rope Frankensteiner, but Sheamus holds on, then hits Bryan with a diving shoulder block for 2.  Sheamus tries to suplex Bryan in from the apron, but Bryan lands on his feet, then low bridges Sheamus out of the ring on the other side.  He goes for a dive, but Sheamus nails him.  Back inside, Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge.  Bryan turns it into a cradle for 2.  Bryan goes for the Yes Lock, but Sheamus counters out repeatedly.  Bryan sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post repeatedly, then kicks the shit out of it while Sheamus is against the ropes.  This causes the referee to DQ Bryan, diving Sheamus the first fall at 14:30.  Bryan goes back on the attack and applies the Yes Lock.  Sheamus struggles, but goes out, and Bryan wins the second fall by referee stop at 16:39.  Bryan celebrates while the ringside doctor checks on Sheamus.  There are dueling “Yes!” and “No!” chants.  Sheamus tells the doctor he can continue.  Bryan charges Sheamus and eats a Brogue Kick.  Delayed cover gets 2.  They trade strikes.  Bryan lands a big kick to the head for 2.  Bryan goes up top.  Sheamus cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Bryan fights him off  and goes for a diving headbutt.  Sheamus avoids it.  Sheamus avoids Bryan in the corner and makes his comeback.  Sheamus lands another Brogue Kick for the pin in 22:55.  Very good match.

WWE YouTube channel plug.

Over the Limit commercial featuring Randy Orton.

Chicago!

Santino Marella is watching the monitor backstage.  2 jobbers are in the ring.  Great Khali comes over to watch too.

The jobbers are named Aaron Relic and Jay Hatton.  They cut a stupid promo about 2 being greater than one.

Handicap Match: Aaron Relic & Jay Hatton vs. Ryback.  There’s a smattering of “Goldberg!” chants.  The jobber with the ridiculous pants attacks Ryback to no avail.  Ryback kills him.  He orders the other jobber to tag in.  The fellow wisely demurs.  Ryback tosses him in anyway and kills him.  Ryback hits the second jobber with a backpack stunner.  Crowd chants “Finish him.”  Ryback kills ridiculous pants with sort of a Fisherman buster Samoan drop, then pins them both in 1:50.  Santino and Khali are impressed.

Matt Striker interviews WWE Champion CM Punk.  Tonight he faces Chris Jericho, who has been insulting his family, in a Chicago Street Fight.

Plug for the PPV theme song.

Punk/Jericho hype video.

Chicago Street Fight for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho.  This is Punk’s hometown, and members of his family are in the front row.  They brawl, because this is a street fight, see.  Punk throws some plunder into the ring.  He whacks Jericho with a Singapore cane.  Jericho drops Punk with a dropkick and gets hold of the cane.  He whacks Punk, then hits his trademark springboard dropkick to the apron, sending Punk to the floor.  Jericho beats up Punk on the outside.  Back inside, Jericho exposes a turnbuckle.  Punk fires back with chops.  Jericho avoids the running knee to the corner and Punk takes another spill outside.  Jericho beats up Punk right in front of his family.  He gets in Punk’s sister’s face and gets slapped.  Jericho lunges for her and Punk kicks his ass.  Punk slams Jericho through the announce table cover.  Punk goes for a piledriver, but Jericho back body drops him, then hits him with a monitor.  Jericho breaks the other announce table cover over Punk’s back.  Back inside, Jericho covers for 2.  Jericho applies a rear chin lock.  Punk escapes with a backdrop suplex.  Punk pulls Jericho’s throat over the top rope and goes for his springboard lariat, but trips.  Jericho wails on him with the Singapore cane.  Jericho taunts Punk and gets caught with an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho responds with something that gets 2.  Jericho brings in a can of beer, which he pours on Punk.  He brings in another beer and starts drinking it.  Punk, meanwhile, starts kicking his ass.  Punk hits the running knee to the corner and the bulldog headlock, then pulls the Singapore cane into Jericho’s balls and signals for the Go 2 Sleep.  He goes for it, but Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Punk counters and hits a powerslam for 2.  Punk goes up top, but Jericho crotches him.  They fight on the top rope.  Punk sends Jericho to the mat with a Mongolian chop, then hits the diving elbow drop for 2.  Jericho counts the Go 2 Sleep again and hits a bulldog.  He goes for the Lionsault, but Punk catches him, picks him up on h is shoulders, and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Jericho counters again and throws Punk into a chair wedged between the turnbuckles.  Jericho gets a schoolboy for 2.  Jericho catches Punk with the Codebreaker and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Punk manages to reach the ropes.  It’s a street fight, so the referee can’t force a break.  Punk somehow gets hold of a fire extinguisher and sprays Jericho with it to escape the hold.  Punk hits Jericho in the stomach with it and sends him to the floor.  Another shot to the gut followed by a kick to the head by Punk.  Jericho is on top of the Spanish announce table.  Punk goes to the top rope and hits the diving elbow through the table.  Punk throws Jericho back into the ring and covers for 2.  Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice.  Jericho whacks Punk with the Singapore cane to escape.  Punk hits Jericho with a chair.  Jericho catches him with a Codebreaker into the chair.  Cover only gets 2.  Jericho is getting frustrated.  He beats on Punk some more.  Jericho tries to give Punk the Go 2 Sleep, just to be a dick.  Punk catches Jericho’s leg and catapults  him into the exposed turnbuckle, then hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 25:14.  This turned out to be a hell of a match.  Punk celebrates with his friends and family.

Don’t try this at home!

Earlier tonight on the pre-show, Santino Marella defeated The Miz with the Cobra to retain the United States Championship.

The Bella Twins and Beth Phoenix bicker backstage.  Eve Torres says Beth isn’t cleared to wrestle.  Whichever Bella is champion will now defend the title against a surprise opponent who isn’t Kharma.

The show Nikki Bella beating Beth for the Divas title last week on Raw after Beth injured her ankle.  The Bellas cut a promo.  The opponent is the returning Layla.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Nikki Bella (c) (w/ Brie Bella) vs. Layla.  They lock up.  Lots of movement from Layla.  Brie trips Layla behind the ref’s back, allowing Nikki to get the advantage.  She DDTs Layla’s foot for 2.  I fucking hate that spot.  Layla gets an inside cradle for 1.  Nikki does whatever.  Layla hits a springboard cross body for 1, then knocks the other Bella off the apron.  Nikki gets the advantage.  Layla gets a wonky cradle.  Nikki counters.  The twins pull the switcheroo.  Brie goes for a facebuster, but Layla turns it into a hangman’s neckbreaker for the pin to win the title in 2:28.  This sucked.

Matt Striker asks John Laurinaitis what he and Triple H were talking about.  Johnny doesn’t tell him.

Chicago!

Lesnar/Cena hype video.

Extreme Rules Match: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena.  Lesnar takes Cena down and mauls him, then kills him with a lariat.  Cena is cut already.  The stop the match to check the cut.  I hate that shit, but I guess Brock is used to it now.  Cena charges Brock and gets taken down and mauled again.  Cena is sent outside.  He’s bleeding pretty bad.  Cena fights back as goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Brock will have none of that and gives him a couple of German suplexes.  Cena hits a shoulder block and knocks Brock into the referee.  The ref is dead, and Brock kills Cena some more.  Brock torments Cena’s arm with a Kimura, then tosses him from the ring again.  Brock follows Cena out and tortures his arm some more.  Back inside, Brock brings in Cena’s chain, then throws it aside because he’s Brock Lesnar and doesn’t need it.  He thinks again and uses it to chain Cena’s legs together.  Brock hangs Cena from the turnbuckle and massacres him for a while.  Cena gets loose and fights back until he’s thrown into the steps.  Brock throws the referee back into the ring and wakes him up.  Cena has the chain his hand, but Brock steps on it and takes it away.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Brock counters and hits the F-5, but kills the referee again in the process.  Another referee runs out, but the delay allows Cena to kick out.  Brock clotheslines the new referee.  Brock brings the steps into the ring.  Cena does his “you can’t see me” and first back.  Brock locks in a Kimura on top of the steps.  Cena manages to pick Brock up and slam him on the steps.  Cena goes for the diving Fameasser, but Brock avoids it.  Brock prances on top of the steps while Cena struggles his way back into the ring.  Cena makes it onto the apron and Brock launches himself at Cena, taking a bad tumble and injuring his knee in the process.  Brock gets up and laughs it off.  He charges Cena again, but Cena punches him with the chain.  Brock is bleeding now.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on the steps for the pin in 17:42.  Aside from the stupidity of putting Cena over in Brock’s first match back, this was awesome.

Cena takes the mic after the match and cuts a promo putting over Chicago.  He says he’s going home, which is a lie.

Good show.  There were a few really good matches.  The main event is soured by the stupidity of Brock losing so quickly.

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WWE WrestleMania XXV (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Chui

WWE open, then an awesome WrestleMania opening video where various wrestlers talk what they think is the greatest WrestleMania moment of all time, then comments on the big matches tonight.

Howard Finkel welcomes us to the *sigh* 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania.  I’m not even going to get into that today.  The Fink then introduces Nicole Somethingorother from the Pussycat Dolls, who sings a horrible rendition of “America The Beautiful.”

The Army National Guard presents WrestleMania!  “Shoot To Thrill” plays, fireworks, and Jim Ross welcomes us to WrestleMania.  Wow, I feel really welcome with all of these welcomes.  Justin Roberts introduces our first match, the Money In The Bank Lader Match!  Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole are doing a three-man commentary team tonight.  Also, we finally have the long awaited return of the Spanish announce table!  Carlos and Hugo are back, baby!

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) vs. WWE United States Champion Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle and rocking the old school Belfast Bruiser vest thingy) vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane.  Christian’s entrance is the only one to get an audible pop from the huge crowd.  On TV, anyway.  According to people who were there, the crowd was way hotter live than it appeared on TV, so maybe there was some audio trouble or something.  Enough of that, on to the match!  Bell rings, everybody pairs off and brawls.  Kane and Henry go at it.  Maybe they’ll take each other to prevent them from dragging the match down.  Christian and Benjamin take them down with a ladder, then try to take out Kofi.  Kofi leapfrogs the ladder, then dropkicks it and legdrops the ladder with both the guys under it.  “Controlled frenzy” line from Cole.  The ladder gets set up and Kane and Henry climb it.  Other guys come in and take the big dudes out, then they all climb a couple of ladders.  Kane and Henry come back in and push the two ladders over, then fight each other again.  Kane knocks Henry down and throws one of the ladders out of the ring, then climbs the other.  Henry comes in and tips the ladder over to send Kane crashing.  Finlay comes in and takes out Henry, who throws the ladder out.  Finlay lands a tope suicida on Kane and Benjamin.  Christian follows with his own dive, followed by MVP, then stereo dives from Punk and Kofi.  Benjamin hits a fucking insane dive off of a tall ladder in the aisle onto the pile of guys.  “HOLY SHIT” chant.  Henry teases diving, but Henry whacks him with the stick.  Hornswoggle sets up a step ladder and Finlay helps him climb onto Henry, then dive onto the pile.  The video was skipping, so I think my DVD may have not burned properly.  Kofi does an awesome spot where he dropkicks Finlay through an open ladder.  Finlay nails him with the step ladder, then uses it to nail the other guys coming back in.  Finlay goes to make the climb, but Kofi kicks him off and climbs himself.  Henry comes in and pushes the ladder over.  The next awesome Kofi spot happens, where Henry is holding an unopened ladder vertically.  Kofi climbs it and gets caught by Henry, who transitions it into the World’s Strongest Slam on the ladder.  Henry climbs, but MVP comes and takes him down, then sets up another ladder between the set up ladder and the top rope.  Benjamin comes in and he and MVP do some crazy shit that ends with Shelton taking a powerbomb.  MVP climbs, Punk stops him.  Christian tries to stop him but gets knocked down, then gets back up on the horizontal ladder behind Punk.  They fight, then Christian hits a botched but cool Unprettier off the ladder.  MVP climbs up, but Benjamin sets up the crazy thing and runs up, then botches a sunset flip off the ladder and gets a “YOU FUCKED UP” chant.  Benjamin powerbombs MVP out of the ring onto Henry and Atlas.  Finlay and Benjamin both climb.  Shelton nails Finlay, who takes a bump on the horizontal ladder.  Christian comes in and fights with Benjamin.  Benjamin sets up the ladder that has been horizontal, so we now have two vertical ladders.  They climb, but the ladder falls over.  Benjamin spills out of the ring, but Christian catches the top rope with his foot in a cool Captain Morgan post and gets it straight again.  Punk tries to stop Christian, but gets his leg caught in the ladders.  Kane comes up and chokeslams Christian off the ladder (not as cool as it sounds).  Punk goes for the prize, but Kane goozles him.  Punk kicks Kane in the head to knock him down, then takes the briefcase of the win at 14:29.  That’s where I timed it, but my DVD did skip a bit so it probably is the 14:24 other reports have it as.  Fucking awesome match.  Kofi really shined here, but everyone had their moments.

Axxess highlights.

Kid Rock mini-concert.  He performs a medley of his songs consisting Bawitaba, some song I don’t know, Cowboy, All Summer Long, and So Hott.  During the last one, the 25 divas in the Battle Royal make their way to the ring.  The whole thing goes about 10 minutes.

Now I actually put some work into working out this clusterfuck of a match, so bear with me.

Divas Battle Royal featuring Kelly Kelly, WWE Women’s Champion Melina, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Layla, Jillian Hall, Rosa Mendez, Maria, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Eve Torres, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Gail Kim, Michelle McCool, Natalya, Katie Lea, Sunny, Molly Holly, Jackie Gayda, Joy Giovanni, Torrie Wilson, Alicia Fox, Tiffany Terrell, Victoria, and Santino Marella (in drag).  The bell rings and they start fighting while Roberts introduces the match.  Mae Young is at ringside with Candice Michelle as the guest timekeeper.  Now this clusterfuck is impossible to call live, but from my earlier research, the order of elimination is Layla, Joy, Rosa, Alicia, Sunny, Torrie, Jackie, Maria, Gail, Jillian, Eve, Tiffany, Kelly, Molly, Maryse, Katie Lea, Natalya, Victoria, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Mickie James, Michelle McCool… then the finish is Beth going for the Glam Slam on Melina, but Santino bundles them both out to win the match at 6:10.  Pointless, but at least we got to look at a bunch of hot chicks for a few minutes.  I can say that my ridiculously jealous wife is gone.  Candice comes in the ring to present the Miss WrestleMania crown and sash to the winner.  He introduces himself as “Santina, Santino’s twin sister from Italy.”  The announcers don’t even actually acknowledge that it’s Santino.  Beth looks on, pissed.

Jericho vs. Legends hype video, a lot of which is about Mickey Rourke.  They show Rourke taking his seat in the audience.

Handicap Elimination Match: Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steaboat, Roddy Piper, & Jimmy Snuka (w/ Ric Flair).  Piper, who looks incredibly old, insists on starting.  He spits his gum at Jericho, then proceeds to kick his ass for the first few minutes, other than an embarrasing spot early on when Piper gets his arm stuck in the ropes.  Piper throws a half assed dropkick that only connects with one leg.  Snuka tags in and looks fucking terrible.  Steamboat tags in to a big pop and looks FUCKING AWESOME.  Steamboat nails a couple of GORGEOUS arm drags, causing me to mark out for an arm drag for the first time in my life.  Steamboat works the arm a bit, then tags Snuka back in.  They do a double chop and Snuka’s doesn’t even connect.  Jericho locks Snuka in the Walls of Jericho for the submission at 3:45.  Thank God.  He refuses to break the hold until Piper and Steamboat come in and force him.  There are some incidents of the audio going out for a second.  Piper goes after Jericho again, poking him in the eyes and locking in the sleeper hold.  Jericho escapes and hits an enzuigiri for the pin at 4:45.  Steamboat hits a sweet diving crossbody for a near fall.  Steamboat and Jericho go at it, and it’s awesome.  Jericho tosses Steamboat out and decks Flair as Steamboat skins the cat back in.  Steamboat sends Jericho out of the ring and dives onto him, then sends him back in and hits the diving karate chop.  More chops, then Steamboat gets a near fall with a reverse cradle.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault, but Steamboat avoids it.  Steamboat catches Jericho with a powerslam for a near fall.  Jericho locks in the Walls, but Steamboat manages to counter out with an inside cradle for another near fall.  Jericho goes for a backdrop suplex, but Steamboat lands on his feet.  Jericho catches the Codebreaker out of nowhere for the win at 8:57.  Snuka was awful.  Piper tried, but wasn’t good.  Steamboat was the fucking man and made the match.  Flair attacks Jericho after the match, but ends up taking a backdrop and eating the Codebreaker.  Jericho challenges Rourke.  Rourke stalls forever before finally getting in the ring.  They have an impromptu amateur boxing match which ends with Rourke catching Jericho with a left hand and knocking him down.  Flair comes in and celebrates with Rourke.  Another pointless waste of time.  The post-match stuff, not the match, though the match would have been MUCH better if it was just a Jericho/Steamboat singles match.

Army National Guard commercial.

The announcers chat a bit to introduce the Hardys video package.

Extreme Rules Match: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy.  Matt talks trash, then Jeff jumps on him and kicks his ass.  Jeff pulls a WrestleMania poster from under the ring and breaks it over Matt’s head, prompting a great line from Lawler: “Well, at least Matt finally got his face on the WrestleMania poster.”  Matt catches Jeff with a chair to the legs while Jeff was attempting the Whisper in the Wind, then moments later nailed him with a shop vac.  I was amused.  Matt hits the Side Effect on the chair for a near fall.  Ouch.  Matt sets up a table on the outside.  Logic says Matt will be the one to go through that table later on.  Matt takes a bump in the steps and the ref and trainer check on him.  Matt hits him with a Singapore cane, then puts a trash can over his head and hits him with a crutch.  Jeff hits a front suplex and goes up top, but Matt avoids the Swanton bomb.  Matt hits the Twist of Fate, but Jeff kicks out at two.  Jeff hits Matt with a chair, then sets him up on that table from earlier.  Jeff sets a chair on top of Matt, then sets another table on top of the table on which Matt is laying.  Jeff goes to the top rope and dives through the table.  Told ya so.  “HOLY SHIT” chant, but I’m pretty sure the top table actually made the spot safer.  Jeff puts Matt in the ring and covers, but Matt puts his foot on the bottom rope.  Jeff brings in a ladder, then sets up a chair and hits a leg drop off of it.  He sets up two ladders and does that “jump from the shorter ladder over the taller ladder and do a leg drop” spot, but Matt moves and Jeff dies.  Matt his a Twist of Fate using an open chair, which looks SICK, for the win at 13:15.  Good plunder match, and no doubt the best match they’ve ever had against each other.

Legends of WrestleMania video game commercial.

Randy Orton is shown in his locker room with Legacy, getting ready.  At least Dibiase and Rhodes got a second of screen time.

Lillian Garcia introduces the first Intercontinental Title match at WrestleMania in 7 years.  JBL comes down, cutting a promo about how he is returning to Texas as a champion and being the only hero Texas has, or something to that effect.  Mysterio makes his entrance with an awesome Heath Ledger Joker mask and outfit.  Lillian does the introductions in-ring, then JBL nails Mysterio with a big boot, then nails him with some punches.  The referee asks Mysterio if he still wants to wrestle.  He says he does, so we have…

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: John Bradshaw Layfield (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio ducks a kick and hits an enzuigiri, a dropkick, the 619, and the diving splash for the win in 21 seconds.  Mysterio celebrates and leaves with the gold.  JBL takes the microphone and quits, which makes the crowd pop big.  He leaves, yelling at the crowd that they’ll regret him leaving.

A nice shot of the Houston skyline.  A NASCAR driver is in the crowd.

Shawn/Taker video package.

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker.  Here we go.  Awesome entrances, as Michaels descends from above, then Taker rises from the stage.  Bell rings.  Taker looks to throw punches, but Michaels ducks and lands his own blows.  Taker gets hold of Michaels and tosses him into the turnbuckle.  Michaels responds with a defiant crotch chop.  Michaels leap frogs Taker and pounces on him.  Taker finally manages to land some punches and hammers Michaels down.  Michaels answers with chops, but Taker throws him into the corner, then back body drops him.  Taker press slams Shawn and drops an elbow.  First cover of the match gets a one count.  Taker hits Old School.  Shawn chop blocks Taker to weaken his leg, then locks in the figure-four.  Taker throws some punches and manages to escape.  Taker kicks Shawn’s ass for a minute until Michaels counters a chokeslam attempt into a crossface.  Taker finally manages to get up and drop Michaels with a side slam to escape it.  They trade blows.  Michaels hits the forearm and nips up.  Michaels knocks Taker down and goes to the top for the big elbow, but Taker gets up and catches him with the goozle.  Michaels counters the chokeslam attempt and feigns a superkick.  He goes for the figure-four again, but Taker locks in the Gogoplata.  Michaels scampers around and manages to get a rope break.  Michaels avoids the apron leg drop, causing Taker to hurt his leg again.  Michaels hits a baseball slide kick, then goes for a moonsault to the outside, but Taker avoids it.  Taker gets back in the ring and goes for a suicide dive.  Michaels pulls a camera man (played by Sim Snuka) in the way and Taker ALMOST KILLS HIMSELF.  I don’t know how he managed to not break his neck.  It was a tope suicida that almost turned into a Space Flying Tiger Drop.  Taker BARELY beats the count back in the ring.  Michaels tunes up the band and goes for the superkick, but Taker catches him with a huge chokeslam for a VERY close two count.  They counter each other’s finishes until Michaels lands the superkick for the one, two… TAKER KICKS OUT!  They rest for a moment, then Michaels nips up and stands over the dead Taker.  Taker comes back to life and goozles him, then gets up and goes for the Last Ride.  Michaels counters.  Taker goes for it again and hits it big time for the one, two, hegothimnohedidn’tcomeonref!  Taker, for some reason, goes for the diving elbow drop, but crashes and burns when Michaels moves.  When everybody gets up, Taker throws Michaels over the top rope.  Michaels skins the cat… right into the Tombstone!  Taker covers for the one, two, and MICHAELS KICKS OUT!  Taker lowers the straps to reveal his chest, which has been beaten blood red.  He goes for another Tombstone, but Michaels counters with somewhat of a DDT.  Michaels hits the diving elbow drop, then NAILS the superkick for a very believable near fall.  Taker’s not done yet, though.  They make it to their feet and trade blows until Taker knocks Shawn down.  Taker goes for the Tombstone again, but Michaels counters.  Taker runs into Michaels’ boot in the corner.  Michaels goes for another moonsault, but Taker catches him and drops him with a second Tombstone and gets the pin at 30:43.  Fucking amazing epic match here, one of the best matches in WrestleMania history.

Raw Draft special commercial.

Evander Holyfield is in the crowd.  The announcers reflect on the epic match we just saw, but still have to feign interest in the matches still to come.

Edge/Cena/Show video package.

Lillian introduces Vickie Guerrero, who is wheeled down by Chavo.  At least Chavo gets a WrestleMania payday.  Edge makes his way out, then Show.  Cena’s old music hits and a bunch of Cena look-alikes come out and line the entry way.  Then the real Cena comes out.  I guess it’s the real Cena anyway.  In-ring intros, then we have…

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge (c) vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena.  Cena tries to out-quick the other guys, but gets knocked down.  Edge tries to form an alliance with Show, but Show quickly betrays him.  Edge is disposed of, then Show beats down Cena.  Show ends up outside the ring and Cena hits his diving Fameasser to the oustide on Show.  Edge and Cena end up in the ring.  Edge hits his DDT and gets a near fall.  Show makes it back in.  Chavo pulls Cena out of the ring and gets F-U… er, has his Attitude Adjusted for his troubles.  Show does the Andre “tied up in the ropes” spot and watches Cena beat up Edge.  Vickie gets out of her wheelchair and gets on the apron.  Edge accidentally spears her for the 374th time.  Show finally gets out and beats up everyone.  Show goes for a double chokeslam, but Cena gets away, so Edge is the only one to take it.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjuster, but Show counters and nails his KO punch.  Show and Edge fight outside.  Edge spears Show through the guardrail.  Edge covers Cena for a two count back in the ring.  Edge goes for the spear, but Cena counters and locks in the STF.  Show makes it back up and pulls Cena out of the ring, then headbutts him.  Show goes for a Vader bomb on Edge, but Edge avoids it.  Edge and Cena unite to suplex Show, then they clothesline him out of the ring.  Edge takes a cheap shot and gets a near fall on Cena.  Cena hits the Throwback and goes up top.  Show pushes him off right into a spear from Edge in a cool spot.  Edge hops on Show’s back and tries to put him down with a sleeper.  Cena shows his retard strength and lifts both of them for the Attitude Adjuster.  Edge falls of and Show takes the move.  Cena hits it on Edge, dropping him on top of Show, then covers Show for the win at 14:43.  Not a bad match, but nothing was going to follow Shawn vs. Taker.

WrestleMania XXVI is coming to Arizona!

Justin Roberts introduces the Hall of Fame Class of 2009: The Funks (Terry & Dory Jr.), Bill Watts, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, The Von Erichs (represented by Kevin Von Erich), Ricky Steamboat, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.  Austin appears on the stage in his suit, then leaves.  He comes back out on his four wheeler in an Austin 3:16 shirt.  He drives down to the ring and drinks some beer, even sharing one with good ol’ J.R.  Ross puts this over as the end of the Austin era.

Backlash!  Backlash!  BACKLASH!

Lillian announces the attendance as 72,744.

Triple H/Orton history package.

Triple H is shown walking backstage.  He runs into Vince and Shane McMahon.  They exchange nods of the head.  Main event time!

WWE Championship Match: Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton.  Triple H can lose the title by DQ or count-out.  Entrances and in-ring introductions here too.  Triple H kicks Orton’s ass to start and gets told off by the referee.  Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere, but is an idiot, so doesn’t cover.  Orton goes for the punt of death, but Triple H avoids it and hits the Pedigree.  He is also an idiot and doesn’t cover.  They fight outside for a moment, then back in, then back out, then back in.  Orton begs off, but Triple H hammers him anyway.  They end up outside again.  Orton reverses Triple H and whips him into the steps, then into the time keeper’s area.  Triple H makes it back in the ring to avoid being counted out, but Orton goes to work on him.  My DVD starts skipping again.  Must have been a bad burn.  It finally starts playing right again, but my timing is going to be completely screwed now.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Orton counters with a quick jackknife hold for a near fall.  The match speeds up a bit now, with Triple H avoiding the RKO and getting a near fall with a quick schoolboy, then catching Orton with the big spinebuster.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Orton hits his 3.0 backbreaker for a near fall.  Orton catches Triple H coming off the turnbuckle with a sweet dropkick.  Triple H avoids the punt again and sends Orton outside.  Triple H teases hitting Orton with a monitor, but thinks better of it.  They tease a Pedigree through the announce table, but Orton backdrops Triple H to the other table, which doesn’t give.  Orton drops Triple H with his sick DDT off the table and they do the big count-out tease, but Triple H makes it back in.  Orton punishes him some more.  Ref bump.  Orton hits the RKO and retrieves the sledgehammer.  Triple H catches Orton coming back in and punts him.  Triple H hits Orton with the sledgehammer, hides it, and hammers Orton with punches.  The referee wakes up and makes Triple H stop throwing punches.  Triple H hits the Pedigree for the pin at 23:34 (according to Wikipedia since my timing got fucked up).  Flattest Mania finish ever, and Orton totally got jobbed.

WrestleMania highlight video.  Fin.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/20/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Chui

This is the 500th Episode of Smackdown and for whatever reason it is titled “Heartbreakers.”

Short video package of great Smackdown moments from years past, then a hype video for the Triple H/Randy Orton WrestleMania match that I will never care about.

Triple H heads to the ring to start the show.  Tonight, Shawn Michaels faces Kane.  Jim Ross and Tazz are on commentary and I think we’re in Corpus Christi, Texas.  Also tonight, Undertaker faces JBL!  Triple H cuts a boring promo.  Blah blah me and Steph are married blah blah Orton shouldn’t have hurt her blah blah I don’t care if you have diarrhea because you’re chicken shit blah blah I’m going to kill you at WrestleMania.  I fast forward a bit because I’m trying to finish this show before Raw starts at 8.

Non-Title: WWE Champion Triple H vs. Vladimir Kozlov.  Boring start.  Kozlov is strong, Triple H is clever.  Insta-commercial.  Triple H has Kozlov in the figure-four leglock, but Kozlov gets a break.  Kozlov beats up Triple H, Triple H makes a comeback.  Kozlov headbutts the turnbuckle.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree but gets backdropped out.  Triple H hits a spinebuster and the Pedigree to end this boring shit.  About 4 minutes shown.

Vickie/Edge/Big Show/Cena shit from Raw.  They’re all here TONIGHT!

WrestleMania 23 video.

WWE United States Championship Match: Shelton Benjamin (c) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  No entrances for a title match.  That’s shameful.  Back and forth action early on.  Shelton ducks a Yakuza kick, then Porter catches him with it anyway.  MVP hits the Ballin’ thing and gets a two count.  MVP ducks the Dragon Whip and goes for a suplex, but Shelton turns it into a neckbreaker.  MVP gets a near fall with a backslide out of nowhere.  Shelton hits a backbreaker and his old Exploder Powerslam finish, but MVP kicks out.  Shelton goes for the Paydirt,  but MVP hotshots him into the ropes and hits the Playmaker to win the title at 5:19.  They tried, but the match was slow and dragging.

12 Rounds hype.  Don’t get me started.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kane, tonight!  They show the Shawn/Undertaker stuff from Raw.

Vickie Guerrero and Edge argue backstage.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kane.  Michaels jumps on Kane to start, then Kane punches him in the face.  Awesome.  Kane beats up Shawn for a moment, then Shawn punches Kane a few times.  Kane whips Shawn into the turnbuckle.  Shawn does the Flair flip out of the ring.  Insta-commercial.  Kane has the advantage when we return.  Kane hits a swank low-altitude dropkick for a near fall.  Michaels takes the beating for a while, then makes his comeback.  Michaels counters the chokeslam and hits an inverted atomic drop.  Michaels drops the big elbow and may have been caught by Kane’s knee on the way down.  Kane hits the diving lariat.  Kane sets up for the chokeslam, but Michaels nails the superkick for the win.  About 8 minutes shown, and a shockingly decent match.  Kane normally sucks hard.

Vickie and Big Show are backstage.  Show and Edge want to hurt each other, or something like that.

12 Rounds commercial AGAIN.  Grr…

Hardy vs. Hardy at WrestleMania will be an Extreme Rules Match.  So will the next match here tonight.

Extreme Rules Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Brian Kendrick (w/ Ezekiel Jackson).  No entrance for Kendrick.  Jeff sends Zeke out, but gets jumped by Kendrick.  Hardy dives outside onto Zeke.  Zeke and Kendrick double team Hardy.  Hardy kills Zeke with a chair and chases Kendrick into the ring.  Kendrick uses his speed to beat up Jeff.  Jeff throws a chair at Kendrick, then uses it as a catapult for the Poetry In Motion.  Jeff, for some reason, does that Alley-Oop move Big Show used to do like 8 years ago.  Jeff hits the Twist of Fate on the chair, then the Swanton Bomb for the win at 3:33.  Poor Kendrick, he’s a total jobber now.

More Triple H/Orton and WrestleMania hype.

New Hall of Fame inductees: The Von Erich Family, to be inducted by Michael Hayes.

ANOTHER FUCKING 12 ROUNDS TRAILER.  I AM SO SICK OF THIS MOVIE.

Taker comes out.  Insta-commercial.  Taker cuts a promo on Michaels.  JBL comes out.  Ross announces that JBL vs. Rey Mysterio for the Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania is official.

Non-Title: The Undertaker vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion JBL.  Taker hammers JBL with punches.  JBL fights back.  Taker kicks JBL’s ass some more.  In other words, a back and forth brawl.  Insta-commercial, then Taker hits the LEG DROP ON THE APRON!  More brawling.  JBL works on Taker’s leg a bit and does a figure-four leglock of all things.  Takers sits up out of a pinning predicament and chokes JBL to make the escape.  JBL clips Taker’s leg and covers.  Well that makes no sense.  Taker comes back and hits snake eyes, big boot, and leg drop for a near fall, brother.  Taker goes for the chokeslam.  JBL escapes and hits the Clothesline From Hell and covers, but Taker kicks out.  Taker locks in the Gogoplata (called the Devil’s Gate this week) for the win (8:14 shown).  Alright match.

Cena, Edge, and Show are here tonight, and there’s not much time left, so I guess they’re going to do something NEXT!  Ah yes, Show and Edge are HEADED OUR WAY!

Big Show comes down and calls out Edge.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out and they yell at each other.  Vickie comes out and begs them to stop.  Vickie loves them both, so whoever wins at WrestleMania gets her.  She convinces them to call a truce and shake hands.  John Cena comes out.  He says he’ll win at WrestleMania, but doesn’t want Vickie.  He talks on for a while.  Edge thinks Vickie farting is cute.  Edge and Show argue some more and push each other.  Edge slaps Show.  Show goozles him and pushed down Vickie, then shoves Edge away and checks on Vickie.  Edge goes to spear Show, but accidentally spears Vickie instead.  Show picks Vickie up to carry her away and Show clips his knee.  Show chokeslams Edge and carries Vickie out.  This segment was about 12 years too long.

This is a prime example of how a show can look really good on paper and be really shitty in execution.

WWE Extreme Rules 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2010 by Chui

WWE open, Extreme Rules opening video.  KFC presents Extreme Rules!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Baltimore, Maryland!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.

Justin Roberts announces that the opening contest is a STREET FIGHT!  Triple H’s music plays, but he doesn’t come out.  They go backstage to show Sheamus beating the shit out of Triple H.  They brawl as referees try to separate them.  Sheamus whacks Triple H in the side and back of the head with a pipe.  Teddy Long and some referees finally get Sheamus to back off, then call for the trainer to check on Triple H.

The Unified WWE Tag Team Champions Show Miz come out.  Miz cuts a promo.  He talks about the deal with Bret Hart, and says tomorrow night, Bret will have to say that Show Miz are the greatest tag team of all time.  I thought that deal was off because of the volcano.  Miz talks about wanting competition.  Teddy Long comes out and says he has a team to put against Show Miz, and if that team wins, they get a title shot.  Miz insults the Baltimore sports team and Teddy.  Long adds another team that they’ll have to face if they make it through the first.  Miz runs his mouth some more, so Teddy adds a third team.  Show finally shuts Miz up before Teddy can make it 4.  Just to recap, Show Miz will face 3 teams in a row (providing they keep winning), and if a team beats them, they get a title shot.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. John Morrison & R-Truth.  Morrison and Miz go at it.  So I guess Morrison DID end up with a PPV match after pinning the World Champion clean on Smackdown.  Truth tags in and they double team Miz.  Truth made quite a comeback from being blown up on Raw.  Show tags in and makes Truth his bitch.  Miz beats up Truth a bit.  Truth drops him with a kick.  Show and Morrison tag in.  Show tries a chokeslam off the top, but Morrison locks in a half assed triangle choke and pulls Show across the top rope with it.  R-Truth takes Miz out with a dive.  The ref DQ’s Morrison for refusing to break the hold in 3:14.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. Montel Vontavious Porter & Mark Henry.  MVP covers Show for 2.  MVP goes for the Yakuza kick, but Show blocks it and tags in Miz.  MVP and Henry dominate Miz while Show recovers on the outside.  MVP hits the Ballin’ elbow on Miz, but Show saves.  Henry comes in and gets dropped by Show.  MVP low bridges Show out of the ring and hits the Playmaker on Miz.  He covers, but Show breaks it by completely missing the KO punch.  Miz pins MVP in 1:55.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. The Hart Dynasty (w/ Bret Hart & Natalya).  The Harts take out Show and hit the springboard Hart Attack on Miz.  Smith pins Miz in 12 seconds.  The Hart Dynasty get a title shot tomorrow night on Raw!

Todd Grisham is in front of the trainer’s room talking about Triple H’s injury.  Sheamus tells Grisham that Triple H can either face him tonight or lose by forfeit.

Barber chair!  Tony Chimel announces the hair match.  The Straight Edge Society comes out.  Thankfully, no long Punk promo tonight.

CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Punk beats up Mysterio to start.  Mysterio fights back, but Punk throws him out of the ring.  Mysterio sends Punk into the side of the ring with a head scissors.  Sweet.  Back inside, Mysterio goes for the 619.  Punk catches him and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Mysterio counters out.  Punk hits a powerslam for 2.  Punk throws Mysterio out of the ring again.  Serena cheap shots Mysterio behind the referee’s back.  Punk beats up Mysterio on the outside.  Back in the ring, Punk hits the Eddie hilo, plays with his hair, and covers for 2.  Punk locks Mysterio in a head scissors.  Punk tries a sunset flip, but of course Mysterio rolls through and kicks Punk in the head for 2.  Gallows cheap shots Mysterio behind the referee’s back.  Punk covers for 2.  Punk hits a backbreaker for 2.  Punk puts Mysterio in a bow & arrow lock.  Mysterio gets out of it and lands on top for 2.  Punk kills Mysterio with a clothesline for 2.  Punk hits some leg drops.  Punk locks Mysterio in the Gory Special.  Punk goes for a powerbomb, but Mysterio counters into a pinning predicament for 2.  Mysterio ranas Punk into the middle turnbuckle, then goes up top.  Punk crotches him, then goes for the Go 2 Sleep again.  Mysterio counters it and goes for the 619 again, but Serena trips him.  Punk drops Mysterio.  The referee ejects Gallows and Serena.  Punk goes outside, upset.  Mysterio hits a baseball slide dropkick and a beautiful Asai moonsault.  Back inside, Mysterio covers for 2.  Mysterio catches Punk with a kick for 2.  Mysterio hits a springboard Bombs Away and goes for a springboard cross body, but Punk catches him with a dropkick for 2.  Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Punk’s starting to unravel.  Mysterio counters another Go 2 Sleep attempt into a Frankensteiner for 2.  Punk kicks Mysterio in the head.  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio avoids the knee to the corner and head scissors Punk into 619 position.  Mysterio hits the 619, then a masked person throws a chair into the ring to distract the referee, powerbombs Mysterio off the apron, then hides under the ring.  Punk puts Mysterio back in the ring and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 15:59.  Really good match.  Punk sits in the barber chair and celebrates with Gallows and Serena.

The DRAFT is tomorrow night!

Baltimore!

The National Guard!

Strap Match time!  They show Shad turning on JTG a few weeks ago on Smackdown.

Strap Match: Shad Gaspard vs. JTG.  Lawler says the strategy in a strap match is “You gotta win.”  Shad drops JTG and touches 3 corners before JTG recovers and whips the shit out of him.  JTG touches one corner, then gets cut off.  Shad throws him to the apron, whips him, and JTG falls to the floor.  Shad touches 2 corners, but JTG holds him back with the strap.  JTG pulls Shad across the top rope, then comes back in and hits a diving leg lariat.  JTG touches 2 corners, then gets cut off.  Shad hits a… front drop, then uses the strap to pull JTG’s shoulder into the post.  Shad whips JTG while singing a parody of the Nightmare On Elm Street song.  Shad chokes JTG with the strap and starts touching corners, but JTG touches each one behind him, unbeknownst to Shad.  JTG cuts Shad off before he can touch the 4th, hits the Sling Blade, and touches the 4th corner to win it 4:42.  This was alright for what it was.

KFC Double Down!  I want one of those.

Todd Grisham is still outside the trainer’s room.  Grisham says Triple H has “nerve issues” and “numbness in his hand” and probably won’t be able to wrestle tonight.  That’s wrestling for “He’ll be fine in an hour.”

Orton/Swagger video package.

Extreme Rules Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Jack Swagger (c) vs. Randy Orton.  Swagger does his amateur stuff.  Orton elbows Swagger off of the middle rope and covers for 1.  Orton hits the 3.0 for 2.  They go outside.  Orton cuts Swagger off from using a chair and stalks him around the ring.  Swagger bails into the ring and tries to punt Orton on the way in.  Swagger bails to the outside when Orton comes in.  Orton follows and Swagger gets the jump on him.  Swagger sends Orton into the barricade and hits a Northern Lights suplex on the floor, then drives Orton into the barricade (again) and the side of the ring.  Back inside, Swagger covers for 2.  Swagger punishes Orton in the corner, then hits a suplex.  Orton fights back, but Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Swagger hits another suplex, then a backdrop suplex.  Swagger continues beating up Orton.  Swagger brings in the title belt.  My video skips around a bit.  Orton makes a comeback, but gets slammed.  Swagger goes for the springboard Vader Bomb, but Orton hits him in the gut with the belt.  Orton hits a powerslam for 2.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Swagger counters him and throws him out of the ring.  Swagger tries to use a garbage can, but Orton catches it and nails Swagger with it twice.  Orton rams Swagger’s head into the announcers’ table a couple of times, then hits a European uppercut.  Orton whips Swagger into the steps.  Orton stomps Swagger’s head on the steps.  Back in the ring, Orton hits the Garvin Stomp.  Swagger avoids a big knee drop and brings a chair in.  Orton cuts him off and hits the DDT OF MURDER.  Orton humps the mat, then sets up the chair.  Orton sets up the RKO, but Swagger throws Orton onto the chair.  Ouch.  Swagger hits the Doctor Bomb for the pin.  Pretty good match.  I timed it at 13:46, but that’s not correct due to my video skipping at one point.  At least Swagger won it clean.  Just because they just had the World Champion look good, and that’s a terrible thing, Orton drops Swagger with the RKO outside the ring after the match.

Sheamus comes to the ring and insists that the referee declare him the winner.  They argue.  Cut to Todd Grisham saying that Triple H won’t be able to compete.  Triple H bursts out the door and heads our way as the trainer tells him not to.  Triple H is selling that his arm is limp.

Street Fight: Sheamus vs. Triple H.  Triple H tackles Sheamus and punches him on the ground, then clotheslines him out of the ring.  Triple H clotheslines Sheamus from behind on the outside and rams him into the announce table.  Triple H beats up Sheamus all over ringside, then hits the spinebuster back inside.  Triple H goes for the Peidgree, but can’t make it happen because of the limp arm.  Sheamus clotheslines Triple H, who rolls outside.  Sheamus beats up Triple H on the outside, then in the ring.  Sheamus hits a knee drop for 2.  Triple H tries to fight back, but Sheamus clotheslines him for 2.  Sheamus applies a neck/shoulder hold.  Triple H backdrop suplexes Sheamus to escape it and rolls out of the ring.  Sheamus follows and hits a neckbreaker on the floor.  Back inside, Triple H makes his comeback.  Triple H hits a DDT, then sells the injured neck.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker for 2.  Sheamus pounds Triple H, then hits a running powerslam for 2.  Sheamus tries to use the pipe, but Triple H cuts him off.  Triple H hits the knee facebuster, then Sheamus whacks Triple H in the head with the pipe for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Triple H counters and backdrops Sheamus out of the ring.  Outside, Sheamus hits Triple H in the gut, then grabs a Singapore cane from under the ring.  Triple H hits a drop toe hold into the steps, then WHACKS Sheamus in the back of the head with the cane.  Triple H wears Sheamus out with the cane, then goes for the Peidgree on the ramp.  Sheamus backdrops him out of it, then hits the pump kick.  Sheamus brings Triple H back to the ring and hits another pump kick but lets Triple H recover.  Triple H does the crotch chop.  Sheamus hits 2 more pump kicks for the pin in 15:50.  It was okay, I guess.  They made it perfectly clear that Sheamus couldn’t only beat Triple H after a hard fought match when Triple H’s arm was paralyzed.  They put a neck brace on Triple H and try to stretcher him out.  Triple H shoves them off and tries to leave on his own, but ends up walking up the ramp with help.  When they reach the ramp, Sheamus hits Triple H with another pump kick.  They stretcher Triple H out.

Over The Limit!

Edge is getting ready for his match.  Josh Matthews comes in and interviews him.

Saliva did the theme song!

There’s lots of ladies’ products at ringside for the Extreme Makeover Match!

Extreme Makeover Match for the WWE Women’s Championship: Michelle McCool (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Layla) vs. Beth Phoenix.  They lock up.  McCool takes the advantage, but Bet hits an awesome reverse cradle out of the corner for 2.  Beth clotheslines McCool for 2.  McCool bails.  Beth follows.  Layla tries to attack Beth with a broom.  Beth grabs the broom to… sweep back Layla and Vickie.  McCool sprays Beth in the face with hair spray, then hits her with an ironing board for 2.  McCool uses the ironing board a bit, then locks Beth in a body scissors.  McCool tries to uses an iron, but the cord gets caught on something and she can’t.  Seriously.  Beth schoolgirls her for 2.  McCool dropkicks the ironing board into Beth for 2.  Way too many puns from the announcers.  McCool goes to fuck with the stuff and the announce table.  Beth baseball slide dropkicks her.  McCool accidentally sprays the hair spray in Vickie and Layla’s faces.  Beth beats up McCool.  Beth hits McCool with a bucket for 2.  An empty bucket.  Beth lays out 2 ironing boards and sets up a superplex.  Vickie and Layla fuck around with a broom and a mop.  McCool knocks Beth off the top for 2.  Beth counters the Styles Clash and hits the Glam Slam for the pin in 6:36.  -***

WrestleMania DVD plug.

The cage is being lowered!

Josh Matthews interviews Chris Jericho.

During Edge’s entrance, they show the recent happenings between these 2 from the last couple of Smackdowns.

Steel Cage Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho.  Jericho stalls, then tries to bring in a chair.  Edge hits a baseball slide dropkick, then beats up Jericho outside a bit.  The finally get in the cage.  Jericho immediately tries to escape, but gets cut off.  Edge beats up Jericho.  Jericho tries to escape again at the first opportunity.  Edge cuts him off and throws him off the top rope.  I should note that Edge is still selling the ankle injury.  Jericho avoids a spear, hits his springboard dropkick to the apron, which sends Edge into the cage.  Brilliant maneuver.  Jericho gets the advantage.  Jericho hits a backdrop suplex for 2, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Edge fights out and makes a comeback.  He hits a flapjack, then the Edgecution (or the facebuster variation thereof) for 2.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault, misses, and tries to escape again.  Edge cuts him off, but Jericho takes Edge down off the top rope and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Jericho has had a few really good transitions in here.  Edge reaches the ropes, but there’s no rope breaks.  Jericho lets go anyway.  Edge sends Jericho into the cage, then hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Edge goes for the spear, but Jericho avoids it and almost gets out the door.  Fuck, his is a great, great man.  Jericho drags the chair in.  Edge snatches it away from him.  Jericho slings the door into Edge’s face.  Jericho walks down the steps, then reconsiders and comes back in.  No!  Dammit Jericho, you’ve been a genius up until this point.  Jericho grabs the chair.  Edge avoids the chair shot and spears Jericho for 2.  Edge goes to pick up Jericho, who hits the Codebreaker out of nowhere.  Jericho takes too long to cover and only gets 2.  Jericho tries to climb out again, but now he’s hurt.  Edge struggles, but makes it to cut him off.  Jericho connects with an elbow and Edge crotches himself on the top rope.  Jericho makes it over the top of the cage, but Edge manages to stop him.  They punch each other on the top of the cage.  Jericho goes down to the top rope and pulls Edge down there too.  Jericho is knocked to the mat, then hits a fucking AWESOME SPRINGBOARD CODEBREAKER!  Jericho again takes too long to cover and only gets 2.  Jericho yells at Edge to stay down.  That’s way too common anymore.  Jericho chop blocks Edge’s leg, then yells at him some more.  Jericho swings the chair at Edge’s ankle, but misses.  Edge throws Jericho into the face 3 times.  Jericho tries to escape again.  Edge rams Jericho’s face into the cage to knock him off the top rope.  Jericho crawls for the door as Edge taunts him.  Edge beats up Jericho and slams the cage door into Jericho’s leg.  Edge punishes Jericho’s leg as Jericho begs off and damn near cries.  Edge spears Jericho for the pin in 19:59.  Awesome match.

Don’t Try This At Home!

DRAFT TOMORROW!

Baltimore!

The announcers plug over the limit.

Cena/Batista video package.

Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship: John Cena (c) vs. Batista.  They lock up.  Cena hits a shoulder block.  Batista bails.  Batista comes back.  Cena goes for another shoulder block, so Batista bails again and brings in a chair.  Cena avoids the shot and bulldogs Batista.  Cena hits the Fisherman suplex.  Batista gets up at around 5 and catches Cena with an elbow.  Batista whips Cena into the corner, then nails a big lariat.  Cena gets up and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Batista gets out and throws Cena into the post.  Batista chop blocks Cena’s leg and works him over.  They brawl outside.  Cena reverses Batista into the steps.  Back inside, Batista locks Cena in the figure-four leglock.  Cena escapes, then they do a double clothesline spot.  Cena gets his second win and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Batista bails and grabs a wrench from under the ring, which he uses to hit Cena in the midsection.  Batista brings in a chair and swings it, but Cena catches him and hits the Attitude Adjustment on the chair.  Batista uses the ref to get up and spears Cena.  Cena gets up at 8 and gets speared again.  Cena makes it up again.  Batista looks under the ring, empties a tool box, and brings in a table.  Batista sets up the table in the corner.  Cena goes for the STF, but Batista kicks him into the table, which breaks.  Cena breaks the count by rolling out of the ring.  Batista rams Cena into the post.  Batista whips Cena through the barricade in front of the time keeper’s position.  Cena makes it to his feet.  Batista tears up the announce table and throws  a monitor at Cole.  Yay!  Batista sets up the steps and tries to set up the powerbomb, but Cena counters and hits the Attitude Adjustment through the announce table!  Batista makes it up at 9.  Cena sets up another table in the ring.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Batista counters and hits a spinebuster through the table.  Cena makes it up.  Batista hits the Batista Bomb.  Cena makes it up at 9.  Batista brings in the steps.  Cena locks him in the STF.  Batista taps, which is pointless in this match.  Cena lets go and the referee starts counting Batista down.  Batista makes it up.  Cena is getting sick of this shit.  He pulls Dave’s balls into the post, then duck tapes his feet!  The referee counts Batista down at 24:33.  Brilliant finish to a great match, tons better than the awful Mania match.  Cena celebrates as Batista is still tied down.

Really good show.  Only a few matches weren’t actively good, and several were very good.

WWE ECW 2/16/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2010 by Chui

WWE open, video showing highlights of past ECW moments (original and WWECW), ECW open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Josh Matthews and Byron Saxton are our hosts for the final episode of ECW.  Tonight, they’ll reveal the cast of NXT.

Savannah is our ring announcer.

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz (c) vs. Goldust & Yoshi Tatsu.  Show Miz’s mixed theme is awful.  Goldust and Miz go at it to start.  Tag to Yoshi.  Nice double teaming from YoshiDust gets a 2 count.  Yoshi is wearing awesome tights tonight that put me in mind of Jake Roberts.  Goldust tags in and hits the butt butt on Miz for 2.  Show tags in, but Goldust didn’t see it and gets the back of head smashed in by a headbutt.  Commercials!  Miz has Goldust in a rest hold.  Yoshi and Show tag in.  Yoshi throws some kicks, then gets mauled by Big Show.  Byron Saxton says “Size doesn’t do the Big Show’s size justice.”  Yeah, he said that.  Bad guys get heat on Yoshi.  Yoshi makes a small comeback on Miz.  Hot tag to Goldust.  He runs wild on Miz.  Snap powerslam gets 1 as Show distracts.  Yoshi tries to cut him off, but gets tossed out of the ring.  Show punches Goldust on the ribs and Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 9:35.  Fine little match.  Miz is carrying a lot of hardware these days.

First NXT cast members: Chris Jericho mentors Wade Barrett and Matt Hardy mentoring Justin Gabriel (FCW’s Justin Angel).

ECW GM Tiffany starts to talk, but Zack Ryder and Rosa Mendez interrupt.  Ryder is mad that he’s not the main event.  Rosa yells at her in Mexican (I jest, I jest).  Ryder says it’s Extreme Rules, so he can interfere if he wants to.  Commercials!

NXT commercial.

NXT cast: MVP mentors Skip Sheffield.

Tony Atlas introduces Abraham Washington.  The Abraham Washington Show is in the ring tonight instead of on the stage.  He talks about how he’s about to be a free agent.  He pimps NXT, then introduces  his guest… himself.  Shelton Benjamin comes out.  He talks for a minute.  Vane Archer comes out and tells Shelton that he better hope they don’t end up on the same show.  Trent Barreta and Caylen Croft come out, then Vladimir Kozlov.  I don’t even know what the fuck he said.  Kozlov beats up Archer, Croft, and Barreta.  Kozlov and Benjamin shake hands and hug.  Odd segment.

NXT cast: Carlito mentoring Michael Tarver.

The main event is NEXT!  Not to be confused with NXT.

NXT cast: The Miz mentors Daniel Bryan (Bryan Danielson w/ new awful WWE name).

Elimination Chamber hype video.

NXT cast: Christian mentoring Heath Slater.

Christian comes out for the main event.  He cuts a promo about how he returned to ECW last year and it became home to him.  He puts over the guys he’s worked with and mentored, and says tonight he’s fighting for the ECW Originals.  He says he’ll always be proud of being the last ECW Champion.  The main event is NEXT!  For real this time!

NXT debuts next Tuesday!

NXT cast: CM Punk mentors Darren Young.

Extreme Rules Match for the ECW Championship: Christian (c) vs. Ezekiel Jackson (w/ William Regal).  Zeke shoves Christian across the ring to start.  Christian ducks some blows, slaps Zeke, then sends him out of the ring.  Zeke pulls Christian out of the ring, clobbers him, throws him in the ring, and throws in some plunder.  Christian hits Zeke (on the apron) with a Singapore cane to knock him off.  Zack Ryder (w/ Rosa Mendez) runs in and attacks Christian.  Christian kicks his ass, flapjacks him onto a trash can, and throws him out of the ring.  Rosa slaps Christian.  Tiffany runs in and kicks Rosa’s ass and yells at Rosa and Ryder to leave.  Commercials.  Zeke beats up Christian.  Christian takes a bump off the top rope and into the guardrail.  Christian avoids a trash can blow and hits a missile dropkick off the steps to kick the trash can into Zeke’s face.  Zeke sends Christian into the steps.  Zeke tries to ram a shopping cart into Christian, but Christian avoids it.  Zeke sends Christian into the shopping cart.  Literally.  Back into the ring, Zeke covers for 2.  Christian avoids a charging trash can lid in the corner, hits his kick, and follows with a diving cross body for 2.  Zeke crashes a trash can into Christian for 2.  Zeke and Regal get a table and hold it up so Christian can baseball slide dropkick it into their faces.  They fight over the table back inside.  Zeke puts Christian on the top rope and sets up the table.  He goes for a superplex, but Christian fights him off and goes for the tornado DDT.  Zeke avoids it.  Christian hits Zeke with a Singapore cane, then chases Regal away with the can.  Christian wails on Zeke with the cane, hits the diving European uppercut, and sets up the Killswitch.  Regal attacks Christian.  Christian avoids the knee trembler and hits the Killswitch on Regal.  Zeke hits the uranage (which Saxton calls the Book of Ezekiel, as I suggested last week) through the table for the pin in 11:25.  That belt actually looks good on Zeke.  Fun match, with as close to an ECW feel as you’re going to get in the homogenized land of WWE.

NXT cast: R-Truth mentors David Otunga.

NXT plug.

I’m going to miss WWEECW.  It’s been a pretty consistently good show for a long time.

WWE ECW 2/9/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2010 by Chui

WWE open.  Tiffany addresses the entire ECW roster.  ECW is about to end and they’ll all be free agents.  Tiffany is ready to party.  Zack Ryder has questions about his future, but fuck that, Tiffany wants to wear beads and drink red fruity drinks.  Woo Woo Woo, you know it!

ECW open, pyro and ballyhoo, Josh Matthews and Byron Saxton are our hosts.  Tonight, Shelton Benjamin takes on Vance Archer in a No DQ Match!

Savannah introduces the first match, where the winners will get a tag title shot next week on the final ECW!

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Match: Goldust & Yoshi Tatsu vs. Trent Barreta & Caylen Croft.  Goldust and Barreta start.  Tatsu tags in and drops Barreta with a chop for 2.  Barreta schoolboys Yoshi for 2.  Yoshi gets beat up a bit, then tags in Goldust, who runs wild.  Croft tags in behind Goldust’s back and gets the advantage.  Commercials.  Bad guys get heat on Goldust.  Goldust finally backdrops Barreta and goes to make the hot tag… right after Barreta knocked Yoshi off the apron.  Goldust rallies and powerslams Barreta, then makes the hot tag.  Croft tags in as well.  Yoshi runs wild.  Kick to the middle gets 2.  Yoshi hits the spin kick off the top.  Barreta breaks the cover.  Goldust takes out Barreta.  Yoshi kicks Croft of the head for the pin in 12:05.  Fun formula tag match.

Ted Dibiase Hall of Fame video from Raw plays.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Ezekiel Jackson (w/ William Regal) vs. Perry Wallace.  Zeke makes quick work of the erstwhile Luke Hawx.  Uranage gets the pin in 1:12.

Regal cuts a promo.  He wants another title shot for Zeke.  Zeke speaks as well, quoting the Book of Ezekiel.  Hey, he should use that name for his finish.

Benjamin vs. Archer TONIGHT!  Commercials!

Raw Rebound.

Matthews and Saxton hype the Elimination Chamber card.

Backstage, Christian accepts Ezekiel Jackson’s challenge for the ECW Championship next week, with the added provision that it’s an Extreme Rules Match!

Shelton Benjamin comes out and cuts a promo.  He says he wasn’t happy when he first came to ECW, but he came around.  He then talks about his opponent tonight, Vance Archer.  Commercials!

Two big championship matches next week on the final episode of ECW!

No DQ, No Count-Outs Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Vance Archer.  They lock up and go at it.  Benjamin gets the better of it and Archer bails to regroup.  They go at it some more.  Shelton with a schoolboy into a half crab.  Archer escapes, goes up top, and gets kicked to the floor by Benjamin.  Commercials!  Archer grabs a Singapore cane from under the ring.  Benjamin blocks the shot with a steel chair, hits Archer in the middle, then winds up for a big shot.  Archer moves and Shelton bails the steps.  Archer drops Shelton across the barricade and nails him with a big boot, then hammers him with punches.  Back inside, Archer continues to beat up Benjamin.  The referee stops the match so the ringside medic can close a little cut on Benjamin’s head.  Okay, this “NO BLOOD” policy is fucking ridiculous.  After that stupidity, Shelton gets his second win and goes for a monkey flip out of the corner, but Archer drives him down to the mat for a 2 count.  Archer exposes the top turnbuckle and drives Shelton into it.  Match drags on.  Shelton rallies and lands a big kick for 2.  Archer avoids the Stinger Splash, but Shelton hits a blockbuster.  Shelton hits the Paydirt for the pin in 14:02.  If you didn’t see this match, you didn’t miss anything.

Not as good a show as ECW has been recently.  Next week’s final show should be awesome, though.