Archive for Elimination Chamber

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/18/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 20, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Josh Matthews and Booker T are the announcers.  Tonight, The Big Show & Kane take on The Corre for the Tag Team Championship!  Wait a second… didn’t they announce The Corre vs. Edge & Christian for the titles during Raw?  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Geeks at ringside are putting together the Cole Mine.  Michael Cole gets his own entrance.  Fucking ugh.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Brodus Clay (w/ Alberto Del Rio & Ricardo Rodriguez).  Edge hammers Clay with punches, who takes them like a big man should.  Edge comes off the top rope, but Clay catches him and gives him an Exploder.  Clay goes to work on Edge’s arm.  Edge fails a tornado DDT.  Clay succeeds with a clothesline, then fails with a headbutt.  Edge fails the Edgecution, but gives Clay a drop toe hold into the turnbuckles.  Edge hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge goes for a sunset flip.  Clay sits on him for 2.  Edge avoids a running ass to the corner and hits a diving bulldog headlock.  Edge goes for the spear.  Ricardo distracts the ref.  Del Rio trips Edge.  Clay does something to him for 2.  Christian comes out and attacks Del Rio.  Clay headbutts Christian off the apron.  Edge spears Clay for the pin in 5:09.  Fun match.  I greatly enjoy Brodus Clay.  Del Rio attacks Edge after the match.  Christian makes the save.  They brawl outside the ring and over the announce table.  Referees break it up.  Teddy Long comes out and books Del Rio vs. Christian for tonight inside a Steel Cage~!

Next, Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus, Champion vs. Champion!  Matthews says Champion vs. Champion is rare.  He is blatantly lying to you, because it’s WWE doctrine to shamelessly and unapologetically lie to their fans.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Sheamus vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  They lock up.  Sheamus attacks Kofi’s arm.  Cole is fucking obnoxious and should fuck off and die.  Kofi fights back and hits corner punches.  Sheamus drops Kofi’s face into the top turnbuckle.  Sheamus hits a short lariat for 2.  Sheamus hits a neckbreaker for 2, then applies a hold.  Kofi fights out and eats an elbow smash.  Kofi gets a cradle for 2.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick in the corner, then hits the diving cross body.  Sheamus rolls through and goes for a powerslam.  Kofi escapes and lands some blows.  Kofi hits a side Russian leg sweep, a big chop, and the Boom Drop.  He goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Sheamus bails to the apron and pulls Kofi’s neck across the top rope.  Kofi fights out of the Irish Curse and hits the S.O.S. for 2.  They go outside and Kofi hits a clothesline off the steps.  Sheamus kicks the steps into Kofi’s leg.  Back inside, Sheamus hits the brogue kick for the pin in 5:16.  It was okay.

They show the recent happenings with Kane, The Big Show, and The Corre.

The Big Show and Kane chat backstage.  Show wants to bury the hatchet and win the tag titles.  Kane goozles him.  Show goozles Kane back.  They break their goozles.  Kane says “You complete me.”  I’m confused.

Trent Barreta vs. Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes has new music, a towel over his head, and is still wrestling in his suit.  Rhodes beats up Barreta and heatbutts him with the face mask for the pin in 48 seconds.  Well… there ya go.

They show Alberto Del Rio injuring Christian back in September.  They meet in a cage TONIGHT!

Kansas City!

Replay of Shawn Michaels talking about The Undertaker.

Layla in action next.  Ugh.

Layla (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Kelly Kelly.  McCool on commentary does not make this better.  They shove each other.  Kelly rams Layla’s face into the turnbuckle, then stomps on her.  Kelly  does a tarantula headscissors thing, then hits a Lou Thesz press.  Kelly hits an X-Factor for 2.  Kelly goes for the handspring to the corner, but Layla dropkicks her.  Kelly rams Layla’s head into the mat, then gets on her shoulders, then falls off, then dropkicks her.  Kelly goes up top, but McCool yells at her.  Layla pulls her down and pins her in 2:05.  This was terrible.

Tag titles are NEXT!

Sin Cara vignette.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater (c) of The Corre vs. The Big Show & Kane.  Kane beats up Gabriel.  Basement dropkick gets 2.  Gabriel flips over Kane’s back and tags in Slater, who promptly gets beaten up by Kane.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Slater takes out Kane’s leg.  The Corre go to work on it.  Gabriel dives at Kane, but gets caught with an uppercut.  Show tags in and runs wild on Slater.  Show hits the chokeslam  on Slater.  Gabriel pulls the referee out of the ring to cause the DQ in 3:03.  Kane throws Gabriel into the ring.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Wade Barrett and Ezekiel Jackson appear and attack Show and Kane.  Barrett hits the Wasteland on Show.  Kane tries to fight back, but gets beaten down as well.  Show tries to make the save, but gets beaten down again.  The Corre put one section of steps on top of Kane and hit it with the other one.  Jackson and Barrett drop Show on the announce table, which awkwardly doesn’t break.

Todd Grisham, who is still employed, interviews Alberto Del Rio, who is not an animal.

Jack Swagger vs. Chris Masters.  Jobber entrance for Masters, who I’m sure will be doing the job.  They show Swagger and Cole beating up Jim Ross on Raw.  Swagger beats up Masters while Cole practically masturbates at ringside.  Masters hits a Samoan Drop.  Masters goes for the Master Lock, but Swagger backs him into the corner and goes for the ankle lock.  Masters kicks Swagger out of the ring.  Swagger rams Master’s ankle into the post, then locks in the ankle lock for the win 1:56.  Well, that’s done.  Cole gets in the ring and puts Masters in the ankle lock and screams “COME ON LAWLER!” repeatedly.  I can not wait for Lawler to punch Cole in the face at WrestleMania.

Rey Mysterio is headed our way.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  2 Raw guys on the show for no apparent reason.  Mysterio slides under Dibiase, but Dibiase pounces and pounds on him.  Rey sends Dibiase into the turnbuckles, then dives off the top.  Dibiase meets him with a dropkick for 2.  Rey goes for a rana, flips out, lands on his feet, and eats a clothesline.  Cover gets 2 for Dibiase.  Dibiase applies a chin lock.  Dibiase hits a backbreaker.  Mysterio goes to the apron and goes for a springboard something.  Mysterio ends up planting Dibiase with a DDT.  Dibiase hits a weird reverse powerbomb for 2.  Dibiase goes for the Dream Street, but Mysterio counters it.  Mysterio hits the 619 and the diving splash for the pin in 3:35.  This felt way longer than 3:35.  I wasn’t into it.

They show Christian returning at Elimination Chamber to save Edge from Alberto Del Rio.  They meet in a cage TONIGHT~!

WrestleMania hype.

The cage is being lowered.  The main event is NEXT!

I’m watching the UK version of Smackdown, which includes a random “From The Vault” with part of a Triple H & Undertaker vs. Edge & Big Show match.  Jim Ross and Tazz are the announcers, so this must be from 2008 or 2009.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.

Steel Cage Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian.  They tear into each other immediately, which is the way and grudge match in a steel cage should start.  Del Rio counters the Killswitch and sends Christian to the corner, then clotheslines him.  Christian reverses Del Rio’s whip and Del Rio climbs up the cage.  Christian follows and they fight on the top rope.  Del Rio either goes for a German suplex or some prison rape.  Christian avoids both unpleasant fates, but does suffer a top rope Samoan Drop that looked like it sucked for both guys.  Insta-commercials.  Don’t try this at home!  Del Rio kicks Christian in the face and stomps on him.  Del Rio telegraphs a back body drop and gets kicked in the face, but avoids a charge and throws Christian into the cage, then pushes Christian’s face into the fence with his foot.  Del Rio hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Del Rio tries to climb out of the cage, but Christian pulls him down by the foot.  Del Rio kicks Christian in the leg, then tries to harpoon him into the cage.  Christian saves himself with his hands, then hits a reverse DDT for 2.  Christian beats up Del Rio and launches him into the cage.  Cover gets 2.  Christian tries to get out through the door, but Del Rio prevents it.  Christian tries to climb out of the cage.  Del Rio tries to prevent that, gets knocked down with an elbow, then jumps up to the top rope and drops Christian with an enzuigi for 2.  Del Rio tries to get out through the door, but Christian isn’t having that shit.  Del Rio goes for the Minoru Special, but Christian counters and hits the Killswitch for 2.  Christian climbs again.  Del Rio pulls him down and beats him up against the cage.  Del Rio climbs to the top of the cage.  Christian joins him.  They fight on top of the cage.  Del Rio rams Christian’s face into the steel.  He starts to go down the side, but Christian climbs on his back.  They fight, and Del Rio knocks Christian to the floor.  Christian wins the match (9:36 shown).  Good match.  Del Rio attacks Christian afterward and says he’s going to destroy him with a chair.  Edge appears in Del Rio’s entrance car and honks the horn to get Del Rio’s attention.  Edge teases vandalizing the car.  Del Rio begs him not to.  Brodus Clay appears and attacks Edge, putting him down with a chair shot.  Del Rio delivers a con-chair-to to Edge’s arm.

Besides the opener and the main event, this show was pretty lame.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/4/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2011 by Grappleholic

Recap of last week’s happenings.  Tonight, the contract signing for Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio at WrestleMania!

Smackdown open.  We are TAPED from Cleveland, Ohio.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Booker T are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, The Undertaker returns to Smackdown!

World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out to cut a promo.  He talks about Alberto Del Rio.  He talks about how happy he is to be rid of Vickie Guerrero.  Drew McIntyre hits the ring and brawls with Edge.  Edge sends him to the floor.  Teddy Long comes out and thanks McIntyre for losing, causing Vickie to be fired.  He books Edge vs. McIntyre for right now.  Edge gets the crowd to chant “Thank you, Drew.”  Commercials.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Drew McIntyre.  Edge goes on the attack.  McIntyre gets the advantage and beats up Edge.  McIntyre works Edge’s injured arm.  McIntyre drops Edge with a big boot and sends him to the floor, then rams the injured arm into the announce table.  McIntyre yells that he’s going to end Edge’s career.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  McIntyre rips the tape off of Edge’s injured elbow and further abuses it.  Edge back body drops McIntyre on the floor.  Back inside, Edge goes up top and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge hits the spear, then pulls McIntyre up at 2.  Edge locks in the Edgeucator for the submission in 5:20.  Fine little match.

Tonight, Big Show vs. Kane!  The Undertaker!  Commercials!

WWE.com plug.

Cody Rhodes comes out to Rey Mysterio’s music wearing the mask he stole last week.  They show the ambush Cody and Dusty Rhodes set up against Mysterio last week.  Rhodes cuts a good promo and challenges Mysterio to a match at WrestleMania.

Kane encounters The Corre backstage.  They offer their help against Show tonight.

The Corre defend the tag titles against Santino & Kozlov NEXT!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater (c) of The Corre (w/ Wade Barrett & Ezekiel Jackson) vs. Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov.  Santino and Gabriel dance around, then lock up.  Santino throws Gabriel around.  Kozlov tags in and goes maulin’.  Santino and Kozlov clear the ring.  Commercials.  Kozlov has Slater in a headlock.  That’s odd.  The Corre cut Kozlov off.  Barrett gets in a cheap shot.  The Corre get the heat on Kozlov.  Santino gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Santino goes for the Cobra.  Barrett gets on the ring and takes the bullet.  Slater hits Santino with a reverse DDT for the pin in 7:29.  Meh.  The Corre celebrate.

Christian returns next week!  They show the attack by Alberto Del Rio that injured him last year and Christian’s return attack on Del Rio at Elimination Chamber.

Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez are backstage.  Someone is painting a portrait of Del Rio.

Up next, The Undertaker!  Commercials!

They show Triple H’s promo on Undertaker from Raw.

The Undertaker comes out to “Ain’t No Grave” by Johnny Cash, wish is an awesome choice for entrance music.  He talks about facing Triple H at WrestleMania.  Fine promo.

Tonight, the contract signing!  Kane vs. Show!  Commercials!

Cleveland!

Sin Cara is coming to WWE!

Beth Phoenix & Rosa Mendez vs. Michelle McCool & Layla.  They show the bickering between LayCool last week.  Beth and McCool lock up.  Beth attacks McCool’s allegedly injured foot.  Rosa tags in and does the same.  Layla tags in.  Rosa throws her down some, then swings at McCool.  Layla beats up Rosa.  McCool tags in and shoves Layla, then beats up Rosa.  Layla and Beth tag in.  Beth runs wild and hits a powerslam.  McCool saves.  The referee gets distracted by Rosa.  McCool kicks Beth with her loaded boot for the pin in 2:19.  This sucked.

Next, Show vs. Kane, which will also suck.  Commercials.

The Big Show vs. Kane.  They show Show fighting off The Corre last week.  Kane and Show brawl.  Double clothesline spot.  The Corre come out.  Barrett throws Kane a chair.  Kane hits Show with it to cause the DQ in 1:14.  The Corre attack Show.  Kane hammers Gabriel with the chair.  The Corre bail.  At least this was short.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Replay of Shawn Michaels speaking on the Undertaker/Triple H match.

Jack Swagger comes out.  They show Swagger attacking Jerry Lawler on Raw.  Cole gets in the ring to babble for a while.  He hypes his mystery guest referee and insults Cleveland.  Commercials.

Jack Swagger vs. JTG.  Swagger takes JTG down and humps him or something.  Cole is babbling a mile a minute.  Matthews and Booker look like they want to die.  Swagger hits some Vader Bombs and locks in the ankle lock for the win in 1:06.  Cole is so excited he humps the announce table.  He gets in the ring to hug Swagger.  I imagine Cole will obey Swagger’s music and “get down on his knees” to suck Swagger’s cock.

Video of the Rock/John Cena shit talking.

Edge is talking backstage.  He defaces Del Rio’s portrait, then kicks the painter in the ass.  Commercials.

Teddy Long is in the ring for the contract signing.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio has Ricardo sing the Mexican National Anthem.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge interrupts.  They banter for a while and sign the contract.  Teddy scampers out of the ring just before Edge and Del Rio start brawling.  Edge hits the Edgecution and goes for the spear.  Ricardo grabs his leg.  Del Rio beats up Edge and puts him in the cross armbreaker for a moment, then throws him to the floor and sends his injured arm into the barricade.  Del Rio puts a chair around Edge’s arm.  Christian makes the save and kicks Del Rio’s ass.  Del Rio tries to run away, but Christian chases him down and kicks his ass some more.  Referees break it up.

Okayish show.

WWE Elimination Chamber 2011

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Oakland, California!  Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, and Booker T are the announcers.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio cuts a promo about how he’ll win the title at WrestleMania.  He’s interrupted by his opponent, Kofi Kingston.

Non-Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  They lock up.  Kofi backs Del Rio into the corner.  Del Rio cowers for safety in the ropes.  I think I hear a “DEL RIO!” chant.  Del Rio gets the advantage and goes to work.  Kofi rallies and Del Rio hides in the ropes again, then bails.  Ricardo fans Del Rio with his scarf.  Awesome.  Kofi goes after Del Rio on the outside and brings him back in.  Kofi beats up Del Rio.  Booker is kind of obnoxious on commentary.  Kofi tries to go up top and gets bumped to the floor.  Del Rio sends Kofi into the steps and throws him back into the ring.  Cover gets 2.  Del Rio applies a body scissors.  Kofi fights out.  Del Rio throws him down and covers for 2.  Del Rio pounds on Kofi.  Del Rio hits a backdrop suplex for 2, then goes back to the body scissors.  Kofi escapes again and hits a rebound flying forearm.  They trade blows.  Kofi makes his comeback and hits the Boom Drop.  Kofi goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Del Rio avoids it, then avoids Kofi in the corner.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick and goes for the diving cross body.  Del Rio catches him midair with knees for 2.  Del Rio goes for a superplex, but Kofi fights him off and hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Del Rio hits a swank gut buster for 2.  Kofi catches Del Rio with a DDT and covers.  Ricardo distracts the referee and Kofi.  Del Rio goes for the Minoru Special, but Kofi counters into the S.O.S. for 2.  Del Rio hits a swank hangman’s neckbreaker and follows with the Minoru Special.  Kofi tries to fight it, but is forced to submit in 10:29.  Good match.

Randy Orton stalks around backstage.  This is heavily discussed by the announcers.

Todd Grisham interviews World Heavyweight Champion Edge.  Drew McIntyre interrupts to bitch at him about Kelly Kelly being fired.  McIntyre says he’ll win the title tonight.  Edge takes him about as seriously as I do.

Elimination Chamber song!

Elimination Chamber hype video.

Entrances for the Smackdown Chamber Match.  Teddy Long comes out to introduce the replacement for the recently fired Dolph Ziggler, The Big Show!

Elimination Chamber Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs. Kane vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Wade Barrett vs. The Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Edge and Mysterio start.  Edge wins the lock up, then they trade blows.  Edge hits a flapjack for 2.  Mysterio hits a flying headscissors.    Edge back body drops Mysterio out of the ring and onto the steel floor.  Ouch.  Mysterio taunts McIntyre into punching his pod, then hits Edge with a flying move that I totally missed because I was typing.  Shit.  I bet it was a sweet Frankensteiner, too.  Cover gets 2.  Edge sends Mysterio into the side of the chamber and puts the boots to him.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Mysterio drop toe holds Edge into the turnbuckles.  Barrett enters the match and goes to work on Mysterio.  Edge launches Mysterio into a seated senton on Barrett, then slides Mysterio out of the ring.  Barrett drops Edge for 2.  Barrett throws Mysterio back into the ring and hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  Barrett continues to beat up Mysterio and Edge.  Edge low bridges Barrett out of the ring.  Mysterio comes back to life and dropkicks Edge.  He goes up top, but Barrett cuts him off and goes for the Wasteland.  Mysterio grabs onto the cage to save himelf and tries to climb up.  Barrett tries a powerbomb, but Mysterio ranas him into the ring.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Edge mows him down with a big boot for 2.  Edge stomps Barrett in the corner.  Kane enters the match and runs wild.  Everybody takes turns getting near falls.  Edge, Mysterio, and Barrett do a double clothesline spot.  Kane clears the ring and beats up Barrett on the outside.  Mysterio goes up top, but gets punched by Kane and falls into the tree of woe.  Edge hits Mysterio with a dropkick for 2.  Kane kicks ass some more.  McIntyre enters the match and immediately throws Mysterio like a lawn dart into a pod, breaking the class.  McIntyre and Barrett beat up Kane.  McIntyre turns on Barrett and throws him through the glass too.  McIntyre is vicious tonight!  He goes to work on Edge, at whom he’s good and pissed off.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge goes to spear McIntyre, but gets caught by Edge.  Lots of counters.  Mysterio misses the 619 on Kane.  Kane throws Mysterio into the post.  Ouch.  Kane counters the Future Shock and back body drops McIntyre into Kane.  Kane and Edge boot each other down.  Big Show enters the match and runs wild on everyone except for Barrett, who cowers away.  Show gets hold of him and throws him through the class.  They’re going to have to replace all of that glass for the other chamber match.  Show beats the shit out of Barrett and kills him with the KO punch for the pin in 18:50.  Mysterio is on top of a pod.  Kane hits Show with a diving lariat.  Edge hits Show with a diving elbow drop for 2.  McIntyre hits Show with the Future Shock for 2.  Mysterio comes off of the pod with the seated senton for 2.  Kane boots Show.  Mysterio hits the 619.  Edge spears Show.  Kane decks Edge and Mysterio, then chokeslams Show for the pin in 20:54.  McIntyre comes off the top, but Kane catches him and chokeslams him for the pin in 21:09.  Edge and Mysterio try to work together, but Kane kicks their asses.  Mysterio plants Kane with a swinging DDT for 2.  Mysterio hits a springboard enzui leg drop for 2.  Mysterio hits the 619 and goes for the diving senton.  Kane catches him.  Edge spears both of them together and pins Kane in 22:51.  Kane chokeslams Mysterio and Edge before leaving.  They eventually make it up.  Mysterio avoids the spear and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Edge rolls through a rebound cross body for 2.  Mysterio hits the flip bulldog for 2.  Mysterio goes up top.  Edge tries to cut him off.  Mysterio headbutts him down and tries a rana.  Edge catches him with a sit-out powerbomb for 2.  Edge tries another powerbomb, but Mysterio hits a rana and goes for the 619.  Edge catches his legs and locks in the Edgecator!  Mysterio turns it into a cradle for 2.  Mysterio avoids the spear.  Edge rallies and hits it on the second try, but Mysterio kicks out!  Mysterio hits the 619 and the springboard splash.  Edge kicks out at 2!  Mysterio hits a headscissors and another 619.  He comes off  the top, but Edge cuts him down midair with a spear for the pin in 31:30.  Edge retains the title.  Good match, especially the final Edge/Mysterio segment.  Alberto Del Rio appears and attacks Edge!  Del Rio locks on the cross armbreaker.  CHRISTIAN returns to make the save~!  Christian beats the piss out of Del Rio in revenge for Del Rio putting him out of action several months ago.  Christian hits the Killswitch!  After Christian leaves, Edge spears Del Rio.

WrestleMania hype video.

Matt Striker interviews Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Oakland!

Booker T goes into the ring to introduce a special guest, someone who will be a trainer on Tough Enough: Trish Stratus!  They banter a bit.  She rips off The Rock’s “Finally” catchphrase and Booker’s “Sucka,” which prompts Booker to bust out the “She didn’t say that.”  Booker asks why she’s here tonight.  She says she’s here to see Lawler win the title.  Booker finishes with the “Can you dig that?”  Well, this was pretty pointless.

The Chaperone trailer.  Yes, they’re wasting PPV time with this shit.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (c) (w/ Tamina) vs. Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Corre (w/ Ezekiel Jackson).  Kozlov and Santino throw Slater around a bit.  Slater cuts Santino off.  Corre work over Santino.  Kozlov tags in and throws Gabriel around.  Gabriel drops Kozlov with a head kick and tags in Slater.  Slater hits a wonky slingshot splash for 2.  Corre get the heat on Kozlov.  Santino gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Santino hits the Cobra on Gabriel, then gets a 2 count on Slater.  Corre cut off Santino.  Santino avoids an Eddie hilo from Gabriel and tags in Kozlov.  Kozlov smashes Gabriel and pummels him with headbutts.  Slater makes a blind tag and gives Kozlov a reverse DDT.  Gabriel tags in and hits the 450 splash on Kozlov for the pin in 5:10.  This sucked, but it got the belts off of Santino and Kozlov, so it accomplished something.

Hall of Fame hype video.

Todd Grisham interviews WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley).

Vickie Guerrero comes out to be sad and obnoxious.  She whines about Dolph Ziggler being fired from Smackdown.  Teddy Long comes out and tells her the stuff it.  Vickie begs him to rehire Dolph.  Teddy says he is in a hiring mood.  Vickie is happy until Teddy reveals that he’s not hiring Dolph, he’s rehired Kelly Kelly.  Bad call, Teddy.  Kelly goes after Vickie, who tries running away, then tries to make friends.  Kelly kicks her ass.  Michelle McCool and Layla attack Kelly.  Trish Stratus comes and runs off LayCool.  They sneak back and cheap shot her.  Trish kicks their asses.  McCool takes a Chick Kick.  Layla gets a horribly botches Stratusphere.  Trish ends with a double Stratusfaction.  Trish and Kelly celebrate.

Miz/Lawler hype video.

WWE Championship Match: The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler.  They lock up.  Lawler gets a schoolboy for 2.  Miz beats on Lawler.  Lawler gets a backslide for 2.  Lawler gets an inside cradle for 2.  Miz grabs a side headlock and hits a shoulder block.  Lawler hits a short lariat for 2.  Lawler hits a shoulder block and a cross body block for 2.  Lawler lands some fucking great punches, then clotheslines Miz out of the ring.  Riley distracts Lawler, allowing Miz to send him into the post.  Miz puts Lawler on the apron and hits a knee lift.  Cover gets 2.  Miz goes to work on Lawler.  Riley gets in a cheap shot behind the referee’s back.  Cover gets 2.  Miz hits the running clothesline to the corner, then goes up top.  Lawler cuts him off and hits a superplex that was damn near a brainbuster for 2.  They trade punches.  That’s a game Miz is not going to win.  Lawler lands a couple of dropkicks and hits a fist drop for 2.  Riley trips Lawler behind the referee’s back.  The referee tells Riley to get the F out!  Lawler avoids Miz in the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Lawler goes for the piledriver!  Miz slips out and boots Lawler in the face for 2.  Lawler turns it into a crucifix hold for 2!  Lawler low bridges Miz out of the ring.  Cole yells at Lawler.  Miz takes advantage of the distraction and rams Lawler’s head into the announce table.  Lawler avoids it the second time and smashes Miz’s face into the table, then throws him over the table into Cole!  Back inside, Lawler goes up top and hits a diving punch for 2.  At least Cole has shut the hell up for a bit.  Lawler counters the Skull Crushing Finale.  Miz hits the backbreaker.  Lawler counts the neckbreaker that follows and hits a DDT!  Lawler goes up top and lowers the strap!  Diving fist drop!  Miz gets his foot on the bottom rope at 2.  Lawler goes for the piledriver, but Miz backdrops him and lands on top for 2.  Lawler turns it into a sunset flip for 2.  Miz kicks Lawler in the head and hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 12:09.  Very good match.  Cole gets in the ring to celebrate with Miz.  After they leave, Lawler gets a much deserved standing ovation.

2/21/11!  That’s tomorrow!  What’s gonna happen?

John Cena eats Fruity Pebbles backstage.  Todd Grisham comes in to ask him about The Rock, but he no-sells it and talks about the Elimination Chamber.  He says he fells “Yabba dabba delicious.”  Seriously.

Matt Striker interview CM Punk.

Another WrestleMania hype video.  As usual, the theme song is fucking horrible.

Highlights of the Smackdown Chamber match from earlier tonight.

Elimination Chamber Match to determine the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. R-Truth vs. CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. King Sheamus vs. John Morrison.  Sheamus and Morrison lock up.  Sheamus lands a shoulder block.  Sheamus takes Morrison down with a side headlock takeover a few times, then slaps Morrison.  Morrison takes him down and pounds on him.  Sheamus rolls to the outside.  Morrison hits him with a dive.  Morrison tries the Flying Chuck, misses, and hits it off of the cage.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus drops Morrison with a short lariat and commences to putting a beating on him.  Morrison drops Sheamus with a kick and goes for the Starship Pain, but Sheamus recovers and pushes him to the outside.  Sheamus beats on Morrison.  Orton enters the match and runs wild.  Orton throws Morrison through one of the pods.  So we’re playing that game again, are we.  Orton gives Sheamus the DDT OF MURDER on the steel floor!  Orton puts the boots to his downed opponents.  Orton hits a superplex on Morrison for 2.  Orton hits a superplex on Sheamus for 2.  Miz and Riley are shown watching backstage.  Punk enters the match, but gets stuck in the door because it won’t open.  Orton is standing right there waiting.  He says “fuck it” and starts pounding on him.  Orton throws Punk into the ring and hits the RKO for the pin in 9:00.  iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that Punk didn’t have a fair chance, so he’s back in the match and allowed to reenter his pod for some reason.  Orton is pissed and beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for 2.  Morrison beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus sends him outside and poses.  He sets up Orton for the Razor’s Edge, but Orton slips out and goes for the RKO.  Sheamus counters and avoids the brogue kick.  Morrison drops Orton with the Flying Chuck.  Sheamus beats up Morrison.  Cena enters the match and is immediately attacked in his pod by Sheamus.  Cena rallies and tries to give Morrison the Attitude Adjustment out of the ring.  Morrison lands on his feet.  A minute later, Cena does it again and gets it right.  Sheamus hits Cena and Morrison with a slingshot shoulder block to the outside.  Orton and Sheamus brawl.  Orton hits a knee drop for 2.  Sheamus drops Orton and throws Cena and Morrison back into the ring.  R-Truth enters the match and is met by Sheamus.  Truth avoids the shot and beats down Sheamus in the pod.  Sheamus takes a hip toss onto the floor, which had to suck.  Truth runs wild in the ring.  Sheamus comes back in and kills Truth with the brogue kick for the pin in 17:32.  Morrison beats on Sheamus.  Orton throws Morrison through the glass again.  Orton and Cena brawl.  Orton drops him with a dropkick for 2.  Punk enters the match again.  Orton lies in wait.  Cena tries to give Orton the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton counters with the RKO on the floor.  Sheamus hits Orton with the brogue kick.  Punk drops Sheamus with a high kick, then covers Orton for 2.  In the ring, Punk humps the mat to mock Orton, then hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 21:34.  Punk runs around attack people until he’s dropped by Sheamus.  Morrison beats up Sheamus and climbs to the top of a pod.  Sheamus trips him and climps up there with him for some damn reason.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Morrison counters and kicks him down to the mat.  Morrison climbs along the roof of the cage and comes down onto Sheamus with a cross body for the pin in 25:18.  Cena makes his comeback on Punk and goes for the Attitude Adjustment on the floor.  Morrison dives onto both of them to prevent that from happening.  Punk covers Cena for 2.  Cena avoids the running knee strike and Morrison puts himself through the glass.  He really likes going through that glass.  Punk goes to work on Cena and locks in a figure-four headscissors.  Cena stands up with Punk on his shoulders.  Morrison comes off the top rope with a Doomsday Device clothesline!  Cover gets 2.  Morrison covers Cena for 2 for good measure.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Morrison.  Punk kills Cena with a high kick.  Punk dives to the outside to take out Cena.  Cover gets 2.  Punk catapults Cena into one of the pods.  He tries to do the same to Morrison, who catches himself and hits the Flying Chuck off the cage.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain, but Punk avoids it and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 32:52.  Cena gives Punk the Attitude Adjustment onto the floor for the pin in 33:12.  Enjoyable match.

Fun, enjoyable, solid show.

WWE Superstars 2/10/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are the first announcers.  Tonight, Jack Swagger vs. Trent Barreta!  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.

Natalya vs. Alicia Fox.  Natalya takes Fox down to the mat with a side headlock.  Fox escapes.  Natalya clamps on another headlock.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but Fox gets the ropes to escape.  They lock up again.  Fox beats up Natalya.  Natalya applies a surfboard, then turns it into a pinning predicament for 2.  Fox pulls Natalya’s head over the top rope and goes back to work on her.  Fox applies a body scissors.  Natalya turns it into a bear hug.  Fox escapes and goes for a backdrop suplex, but fails.  Double clothesline spot.  Natalya hits a butterfly suplex and makes her comeback.  Natalya botches a Jackhammer for 2.  Natalya takes Fox down by the leg and locks in the Sharpshooter for the win in 6:36.  This kind of sucked.

Up next, Raw clips!

Raw clips.

Tonight, Swagger vs. Barreta!

WWE.com plug.

Handicap Match: Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Typical “2 guys against an immobile giant” stuff.  Usos hit a double superkick for 2.  Khali makes is comeback and hits the tree slam on Jimmy for the pin in 2:00.  Whatever.

Tonight, Swagger vs. Barreta!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are now the announcers.

Elimination Chamber hype video.

Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

Tyler Reks is in action NEXT!

They show Reks turning on Curt Hawkins last week.

Tyler Reks vs. Curt Hawkins.  Hawkins shoves Reks.  Reks boots him to death in the face and pounds on him.  Hawkins lands an elbow smash and makes his comeback.  Hawkins hits a Michinoku Driver II for 2.  Hawkins counters out of a powerslam in a face plant for 2.  Hawkins goes up top.  Reks crotches him, gets  him in a fireman’s carry, and drops him across the top turnbuckle!  Reks hits the modified Burning Hammer for the pin in 3:21.  Fun little match.

Still to come, Swagger vs. Barreta!

Jack Swagger vs. Trent Barreta.  Swagger throws and slams Barreta around.  Barreta gets a sunset flip for 2.  Barreta gets a flying schoolboy for 2.  Swagger throws Barreta around some more.  Swagger hits the Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger applies an arm hold.  Barreta tries to make his comeback, but misses an enzuigiri.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock for the win in 2:54.  Fun while it lasted.

The first half sucked, second half wasn’t too bad.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/7/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our announcers LIVE from Milwaukee.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Vince McMahon comes out to the stage.  He congratulates Wisconsin on their SuperBowl win, then talks about WrestleMania.  He says that next week, the guest host of WrestleMania will be introduced.

Randy Orton comes out.  They show him punting Husky Harris in the head last week.  He tells CM Punk that they’re not done yet.  Punk comes out to retort.  He shows the Legacy attack and Orton head punt that cost Punk the World Heavyweight Championship at Unforgiven 2008.  Holy shit!  2 1/2 years of continuity in a WWE storyline!  Punk has a better memory than the WWE writers.  Punk and the rest of the remaining New Nexus head to the ring.  David Otunga, Michael McGillicutty, and Mason Ryan jump Orton.  Orton fights back, but is overcome by numbers.  Punk gets a bloody nose in the process.  Orton kicks Punk in the face despite behind held back.  They eventually beat him down.  Punk delivers the Go 2 Sleep.  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

During the break, Cole got an email from the iBooker announcing a series of matches between the New Nexus and Elimination Chamber participants, ending in Punk vs. Cena.

Mason Ryan vs. R-Truth.  Truth gets booed for greeting Green Bay when they’re in Milwaukee.  Cole throws a fit.  Crowd chants “MILWAUKEE!”  Idiot Cole leads the chant.  Ryan throws Truth around.  Truth injures his knee.  Ryan attacks it, slamming Truth and causing his knee to hit the ropes.  Ryan keeps the heat going.  Ryan applies a modified stretch muffler thing for the submission win in 2:27.  It was there.  Ryan attacks Truth’s knee again after the match.  The crowd is still chanting “MILWAUKEE!”  The referee reverses the decision, so Truth wins by DQ.  Ryan doesn’t care.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Also, something with The Miz and Lawler.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Backstage, CM Punk pretends to be mad at Mason Ryan, but then tells him “well done.”  He tells McGillicutty and Otunga to injure their opponents tonight too.  Otunga is scared because he has to face Sheamus.

Natalya has joined Cole and Lawler at the table.  She’s getting her rematch against Eve next week.

WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres, Gail Kim, & Tamina vs. Melina & The Bella Twins.  Bellas beat up Gail.  Melina tags in and takes her turn.  Gail clotheslines Melina and makes the tag to Eve.  Eve runs wild on Melina and hits a standing moonsault.  Bellas save.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Eve hits a sweet neckbreaker drop on Melina for the pin in 2:23.  There ya go.  Tamina wasn’t trusted to do anything after that awful match on Superstars last week.

2/21/11!  Commercials!

Milwaukee!

Some Packers player celebrated his SuperBowl win with a WWE replica belt.

Elimination Chamber hype video.

John Morrison is in action NEXT!  Commercials.

John Morrison vs. Michael McGillicutty.  Morrison lands some punches.  McGillicutty drops him with an enzui lariat and beats on him.  McGillicutty pulls Morrison’s shoulder into the post, then beats on it.  McGillicutty dropkicks the steps like a fucking idiot.  There was no way he was going to hit Morrison with that.  Morrison makes his comeback.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck and the Starship Pain for the pin in 2:31.  This was nothing.  The dropkick to the steps spot was fucking stupid.  CM Punk appears on the stage, sprays something into Morrison’s eyes, and kicks him in the head.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Last week, Jerry Lawler won the Raw Rumble!

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  They show Punk’s attack on Morrison again.  Miz cuts a promo.  He invites Lawler into the ring and tells Riley to get out of the ring.  They banter.  Miz says he patterned his career after Lawler’s.  Lawler makes fun of Miz’s haircut.  He says he didn’t pattern his career after anyone, he’s an original.  Miz says Lawler is a cheapshot artist.  They show Lawler decking Ted Dibiase Jr. last week.  Miz calls it a sucker punch.  Lawler calls Miz a sucker.  Lawler says he’ll finally become WWE Champion and get his chance to compete at WrestleMania.  Lawler gets the crowd to chant “awful” at Miz.  Miz goes for a cheap shot, but Lawler decks him.  Riley tries to jump Lawler.  Lawler decks him too, then throws him out of the ring and decks Miz again.  Lawler pounds and stomps on Miz.  Ted Dibiase Jr. appears and jumps Lawler.  DANIEL BRYAN makes the save!  iBooker dings in and makes a tag match!

WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) & Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler & WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan.  Riley joins Cole on commentary.  Dibiase beats up Bryan.  Bryan catches him with a knee lift and kicks the crap out of him.  Cover gets 2.  Bryan hits a running dropkick for 2.  Lawler tags in and beats up Dibiase.  Miz tags in.  Lawler hip tosses and slams him.  Miz begs off, then throws Lawler out of the ring.  Commercials.  Miz has Lawler in a rear chin lock.  Lawler escapes.  Maryse has appeared at ringside.  Bryan tags in and looks awesome against Miz.  Bryan goes up top, but Dibiase crotches him.  Miz hits the corner clothesline for 2.  Dibiase tags in and beats up Bryan.  Miz tags in and charges into a dropkick from Bryan.  Lawler and Dibiase tag in.  Lawler runs wild and hits a DDT for 2, as Miz saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Bryan takes out Miz with a missile dropkick and a tope suicida.  Lawler avoids Dibiase in the corner and Dibiase charges into the post.  Lawler hits the diving fist drop for the pin in 9:06.  Fun match.

Tonight, Punk vs. Cena!  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Lawler and Cole bicker at the table.

King Sheamus comes out for his match.  Josh Matthews comes out and tells him that Mark Henry was talking shit about him, saying he doesn’t deserve to be in the Elimination Chamber.  Sheamus talks shit about Henry in return.  David Otunga comes out for the match.  Mark Henry comes out and brawls with Sheamus.  Otunga tries to sneak in and gets decked by Sheamus.  Henry avoids the brogue kick and hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Twice.  Otunga stands over Sheamus like he actually did something.  New Nexus watches this on TV, pleased.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.  He’ll be in action NEXT!  Commercials.

Alberto Del Rio cuts a promo on Santino Marella, who was, believe it or not, the runner up in the Royal Rumble Match.  Santino hits the ring fighting and throws Del Rio over the top rope 8 days too late.

Alberto Del Rio vs. WWE Tag Team Champion Santino Marella.  Marella throws Del Rio out of the ring again.  Back inside, Del Rio gets the jump on him and throws his shoulder into the post.  Del Rio hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Del Rio works Santino’s arm.  Santino ducks an enzuigiri and makes his comeback.  Santino goes for the Cobra.  Del Rio ducks and hits a Codebreaker to the arm.  Del Rio hits the Minoru Special for the win in 2:58.  Fun times.

Recap of the New Nexus fucking people up tonight.

John Cena is headed our way!  The main event is NEXT!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Hype for this week’s Smackdown, with Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler for the World title with Vickie Guerrero as the referee.

Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler come out.  Vickie screeches at me for a while.  John Cena thankfully interrupts.  I don’t care about what he says either, but at least it’s not Vickie talking.  There are some football references.  Vickie and Dolph leave.  Cena cuts a promo about the New Nexus.  He promises to kick their elimination chambers.  Funny.  Commercials.

2/21/11!

John Cena vs. CM Punk.  They lock up.  Punk beats on Cena.  Punk actually throws a Mongolian chop, which makes me smile.  Cena avoids the running knee to the corner and fights back.  Cena hits a bulldog.  Punk lands some kicks and sends Cena outside.  Punk hits a diving lariat off the apron.  Back inside, Punk hits the running knee and the bulldog headlock.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters and punches Punk a bunch.  Cena blatantly punches Punk in the balls and gets DQ’d in 4:52.  New Nexus hit the ring.  Jerry Lawler hands Cena a chair.  Cena cleans house and stands tall as the show ends.

Fun show.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 2/4/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are TAPED from Long Island.  Tonight, Royal Rumble Winner Alberto Del Rio will be IN THE HOUSE!  There’s a WrestleMania pinata above the ring.

Booker T comes out.  Ring announcer Tony Chimel introduces him as the newest member of the Smackdown announce team.  Booker goes into the ring for a Spinaroonie, then joins Michael Cole and Josh Matthews at the commentary table.

Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler come out.  Vickie screeches horrible sounds.  There’s a stupid mixed tag match for the World title tonight.  Vickie screechingly insists that Kelly Kelly come out, so she does.  Vickie is mad because Kelly circumventing Vickie’s interference at the Rumble kept them from fucking Edge out of the title.  Kelly bitches at Vickie for going through her purse or some shit.  They argue.  Ziggler talks shit to Kelly and tells her to leave.  Kelly slaps him, then shoves Vickie.  LayCool hit the ring and bully Kelly.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge runs them off and decks Ziggler.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Tonight, Edge & Kelly Kelly vs. Dolph Ziggler & LayCool for the World Heavyweight Championship.

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov come out for a tag match.  They show the aftermath of their tag match on Raw, where Randy Orton RKO’d Michael McGillicutty and punted Husky Harris to death while the rest of the New Nexus looked on.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Tamina) vs. Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Corre.  Kozlov schools Gabriel to start.  Slater tags in and gets hammered as well.  Santino tags in and schools Slater some more.  Slater counters a reverse cradle and punches Santino in the face.  Cover gets 0.  Slater pounds on Santino.  Kozlov tags in and smashes Slater.  Kozlov hits a powerslam.  Gabriel slaves and throws Santino out of the ring.  Kozlov takes out Gabriel.  Slater takes out Kozlov’s leg, then hits Kozlov with a reverse DDT.  Gabriel tags in and hits the 450 splash for the pin in 3:06.  It was fine.

There’s still the pinata.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre.  They lock up.  Kofi gets a cradle for 2.  McIntyre punches Kofi in the face and gets a cradle for 2.  McIntyre stomps Kofi in the face.  McIntyre hits a slam for 2.  Kofi jumps around a bunch and hits an elbow smash for 1.  Kofi works McIntyre’s arm.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick.  McIntyre avoids the diving cross body.  Kofi clotheslines McIntyre to the floor and follows him out.  McIntyre sends Kofi into the steps.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre hits an elbow smash for 2.  McIntyre applies a grounded abdominal stretch.  McIntyre hits a gut buster for 2.  McIntyre kicks Kofi in the injured ribs for 2.  McIntyre hits a dropkick for 2.  Kofi awesomely ducks a short lariat and hits a DDT for 2.  Kofi lands some strikes and stomps McIntyre in the corner.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise.  McIntyre avoids it and tries to bail.  Ricardo Rodriguez appears on the Tron and introduces Alberto Del Rio, who just smiles and winks.  This distracts Kofi.  McIntyre kicks his leg and hits the Future Shock for the pin (9:30 shown).  Good little match.

Tonight, a stupid mixed tag match for the World Championship!  Vince Russo would be proud.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Jack Swagger.  Mysterio kicks Swagger’s legs and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Mysterio low bridges Swagger out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  Mysterio kicks Swagger in the face and tries to go up top.  Swagger catches him and twice a wheelbarrow thing, but Mysterio turns it into a bulldog for 2.  Mysterio gets a cross body for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Swagger bails.  Mysterio goes for an Asai moonsault, but Swagger trips him in the ropes and works on his ankle.  Swagger rams Mysterio’s ankle into the post.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Outside again, Swagger rams Mysterio into the announce table.  Back inside, Swagger hits the springboard Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger goes back to the leg work.  Mysterio kicks at his legs.  Swagger pounds on his face.  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio avoids a Vader Bomb and hits a jumping tornado DDT for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Swagger catches his legs and locks in the ankle lock.  Mysterio counters out and sends Swagger into the corner.  Mysterio kicks Swagger in the face and bridges back for the pin (7:35 shown).  Fine match.

They show Alberto Del Rio’s attack on Edge from Raw.

The WrestleMania pinata is TONIGHT!

Edge and Kelly Kelly chat backstage.  Edge thinks Kelly is going to cost him the title.  That pisses her off.

Elimination Chamber hype.

Hornswoggle and Rosa Mendez come out and throw stuff to the crowd.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.  I’ve been learning Spanish and I actually understand some of what he says.  Del Rio cuts a promo.  He tells Hornswoggle the pinata is for him.  They blindfold him, give him a stick, and spin him around.  Hornswoggle accidentally hits Del Rio in the balls with the stick.  Del Rio boots Hornswoggle in the face.  He pounds on Hornswoggle.  Kofi Kingston makes the save and clotheslines Del Rio out of the ring.  Del Rio sneaks back in and attacks Kofi, canes him, and locks in the cross armbreaker.  Referees come out to break it up.

Tonight, stupid mixed tag match for the title!

Booker T announces that he’ll be a coach on the new Tough Enough.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Kane.  Chavo tries.  He manages to drop toe hold Kane into the top turnbuckle.  He goes up top.  Kane tries to chokeslam him off the top rope.  Chavo drops down and pulls Kane’s arm over the top rope.  Chavo hits the frog splash, but Kane catches him by the throat and hits the chokeslam for the pin in 1:03.  Chavo lasted longer than I expected.  Kane joins Mysterio, McIntyre, Ziggler, and Edge in the Chamber.  There’s one more qualifying match!

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: The Big Show vs. Wade Barrett (w/ Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, & Heath Slater).  Barrett hides in the ropes.  Show kicks his ass anyway.  Barrett tries to take out Show’s leg.  Show whips Barrett into the ref.  Corre interferes.  Jackson clotheslines Show to death.  Barrett covers for 2.  Barrett hits a DDT for the pin in 1:57.  Wow, wasn’t expecting that one.  Show attacks the Corre after the match, but is overcome by numbers.  Jackson slams Show again.  He takes the mic and says some weird psuedo-Biblical stuff.

Title match is NEXT!

Entrances and introductions for the main event.  Vickie decrees that Edge will be stripped of the title if he uses the spear “in any form.”

Handicap Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) & Kelly Kelly vs. Dolph Ziggler, Michelle McCool, & Layla (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Ziggler beats up Edge.  Edge beats up Ziggler.  He wants to go for the spear, but realizes he can’t.  Ziggler bails and eats a baseball slide dropkick.  McCool and Kelly tag in.  Insta-commercials.  McCool beats up Kelly.  Kelly beats up McCool and rams her face into the floor on the outside.  She drops Layla too.  McCool gets Kelly into a powerbomb position and spins her head into the barricade.  LayCool work over Kelly.  Kelly rallies and hits a facebuster on Layla.  Edge gets the tag, but Ziggler distracts the referee to prevent him from seeing it.  Edge kicks Ziggler’s ass.  McCool accidentally kicks Layla in the head.  Kelly knocks McCool out of the ring, then spears Layla for the pin (6:51 shown).  I kind of liked the finish.  Vickie gets in the ring and fires Kelly.  Kelly cries.  Vickie tells Edge he’ll defend the title against Ziggler again next week, with Vickie as the referee.  Ziggler hits Edge with the Zig Zag.

Fun show.

WWE Royal Rumble 2011

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, cool PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Boston!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Todd Grisham are the announcers.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Edge can’t use the spear because Vickie is a bitch.  She comes out to remind us of that in her nails on a chalkboard voice.  She then chants “spear” and cackles.  She then introduces Ziggler.  Chimel gives in ring intros.  They lock up.  Edge lands some punches and puts a beating on Ziggler.  Edge hits a gut buster for 2.  Edge connects with a knee lift for 2.  Ziggler rolls to the apron.  Edge slips out, pulls him down face first onto the apron, then throws him into the barricade.  Ziggler catches Edge with a shot on the way back into the ring and hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler puts a beating on Edge and applies a rear chin lock.  Afterward, Ziggler hits a diving sunset flip.  Edge rolls through and catapults him into the corner for 2.  Ziggler always takes that like a champ.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler hits the Perfect neck snap for 2, then reapplies the rear chin lock.  Edge takes a bump off the apron into the barricade.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Back to the chin lock.  Edge fights out.  Double cross body spot.  Edge avoids a charge in the corner and Ziggler eats turnbuckle again.  Edge hits a flapjack and gets the momentum going.  Weird faceplant thing gets 2.  Ziggler hits a chin breaker for 2.  Ziggler goes for the Fameasser, but Edge turns it into a powerbomb for 2.  Edge goes up top.  Ziggler cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Edge fights him off and hits a diving cross body.  Ziggler rolls through for 2.  Ziggler lands a dropkick for 2.  Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Edge holds into the ropes to avoid it.  Edge locks in the Edgeucator.  Haven’t seen that one in years.  Ziggler reaches the ropes.  Ziggler avoids a charge against the ropes, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Edge drops Ziggler with a big boot.  He teases going for the spear, then realizes he can’t.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Vickie grabs the referee to stop the count.  Vickie screams at Edge and slaps him.  Ziggler almost collides with Vickie.  Edge cradles him for 2.  Vickie slaps at Edge some more.  Shouldn’t that be a DQ, referee moron?  Kelly Kelly comes out, yanks Vickie off the apron, and kicks her ass.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for 2.  Ziggler locks in the sleeper hold.  Edge manages to stand up.  They collide with the referee.  Edge hits a backpack stunner.  With Vickie and the referee dead, Edge says “fuck it” and hits the spear, then does the old Eddie Guerrero “play dead” trick.  The referee wakes up.  Edge gives a nod to his old buddy Christian and hits the Killswitch for the pin in 20:46.  Pretty decent match.

WrestleMania commercial.

Boston!

Miz/Orton hype video.

Josh Matthews interviews WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley.

WWE Championship Match: The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Randy Orton.  Orton beats down Miz in the corner, then chucks him out of the ring and kicks his ass at ringside.  Back inside, Orton beats the shit out of Miz some more.  Riley interferes behind the referee’s back to allow Miz to get the advantage.  Miz hits the corner clothesline for 2.  Miz finds his stride and gets the heat going on Orton.  Orton goes for a sleeper hold.  Miz counters and goes for a German suplex.  Orton counters and hits a backdrop suplex.  Miz lands a big boot for 2.  Miz goes up top.  Orton crotches him and hits a superplex for 2.  They trade punches.  Orton hits some clotheslines and the 3.0.  Miz rolls to the apron.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Miz back body drops him the floor.  Riley puts the boots to Orton behind the referee’s back.  Back inside, Miz covers for 2.  Miz hits a diving double axe handle for 2.  Miz stretches Orton’s neck with a chin lock.  On the outside, Miz catapults Orton into the post.  Orton barely beats the count back into the ring and immediately tackle punches Miz.  Orton gives Miz the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for 2.  Orton goes for a powerbomb.  Riley distracts him.  Miz hits the backbreaker/neckbreaker for 2.  They counter each others’ finish.  Orton hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Miz bails, grabs the belt, and tries to leave.  Orton clotheslines him and throws him back into the ring.  Cover gets 2.  Orton ducks a basement kick and schoolboys Miz for 2.  Miz bails to the apron.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat.  The 4 lesser members of the New Nexus come out.  The referee goes to tell them to leave.  Riley tries to attack Orton, but Orton tosses him out of the ring and onto Nexus.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Orton counters and hits the RKO.  CM Punk appears and gives Orton the Go 2 Sleep, then puts Miz on top of Orton.  Miz gets the pin in 19:50.  Good match.  Cole mizzes his pants again.

Elimination Chamber commercial.

Todd Grisham reads a statement from “Dashing’ Cody Rhodes.  They show Rhodes getting his face broken by Rey Mysterio 2 weeks ago on Smackdown.

A bunch of fans give their Royal Rumble picks.  One guy actually picks Santino Marella.  I LOL’d.

We’re now set for a handicap match for the Divas Championship.  The iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that it will now be a Fatal Four-Way Match.  Eve Torres comes out to join Natalya and LayCool.

Fatal Four-Way Match for the WWE Divas Championship: Natalya (c) vs. Michelle McCool vs. Layla vs. Eve Torres.  They pair off and brawl.  LayCool work together.  They actually hit a double Stroke on Eve.  I’ll keep my dirty comments to myself.  Natalya fights back and catapults Layla into McCool.  Cover on Layla, but McCool pulls her to safety.  LayCool end up face to face in the ring with both of the babyfaces down outside.  Natalya trips Layla.  Eve schoolgirls McCool.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Natalya and Eve go at it.  Layla intervenes.  Natalya puts them in a double Sharpshooter.  McCool drops Natalya with a kick.  McCool covers Eve for 2.  Eve gets an inside cradle on McCool.  Layla saves.  Layla gives Eve the Lay Out.  Eve rolls to the floor.  Natalya makes her comeback on LayCool.  Natalya hits a Michinoku Driver II on McCool.  Layla saves.  Natalya beats her up in the corner.  McCool accidentally boots Layla in the face.  Natalya schoolgirls McCool for 2, then throws her outside.  Eve throws out Natalya, then hits a moonsault press on Layla.  McCool schoolgirls Natalya at the same time, but the referee doesn’t see and counts Eve’s pin over Layla in 5:12.  Eve regains the title.  Any match with a moonsault press finish gains points with me.

Josh Matthews interviews WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ Gail Kim).  The Bella Twins interrupt to apologize for last week.  They start arguing and a catfight breaks out.  Bryan gets slapped again.

WrestleMania commercial.

Boston!

Rumble “By The Numbers” video.

Justin Roberts gives us our annual explanation of how the Royal Rumble works.  I miss Howard Finkel.

CM Punk comes out as #1.  The Corre come out and jump Punk.  The New Nexus come out to save their master.  The Nexus and The Corre brawl.  iBooker dings in at the same time I get a text message on my iPhone.  That always trips me out.  Cole calls for the officials to restore order and orders everyone but Punk to the back.  And NOW it’s Rumble time!

Royal Rumble Match: #1 is CM Punk.  #2 is WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan.  They lock up.  Punk grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Punk does a drop down.  Bryan catches him with a dropkick, then lands a clothesline.  They fail to eliminate each other.  Bryan hits a missile dropkick.  Punk avoids a charge in the corner.  #3 is Justin Gabriel.  He immediately goes after Punk.  Punk sends him to the apron.  Punk and Bryan clothesline each other.  Gabriel says “fuck it” and goes for the 450 splash.  Punk avoids it.  Bryan backdrops Gabriel out of the ring to eliminate him.  #4 Zack Ryder.  He runs wild and hits face washes on Bryan and Punk.  Bryan elevates Ryder, who hits Punk with the Rough Ryder.  Bryan hip tosses Ryder out of the ring.  Bryan lands some kicks on Punk.  They fight over eliminating each other again.  #5 is William Regal!  Regal mauls some fuckers.  It’s awesome.  Regal blasts Punk with the knee trembler.  Bryan and Regal trade European uppercuts.  Punk drops Regal with a head kick.  Bryan drops Punk with a head kick, then gives Regal another head kick just to make sure he’s good and dead.  #6 is Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  Dibiase runs wild briefly.  Bryan kicks Regal to death some more while Dibiase tries to eliminate Punk.  Bryan tries to eliminate Dibiase, but fails.  #7 John Morrison.  Morrison runs wild.  Flying Chuck to Punk.  C4 to Bryan.  Regal knocks Morrison off the apron.  Morrison grabs onto the barricade, walks along it, and leaps to the steps!  Dibiase eliminates Regal.  Morrison drops Regal with a kick for good measure.  His feet never touched the ground, so he’s still in the Rumble!  #8 is Yoshi Tatsu!  Yoshi brawls with Dibiase and Punk while Morrison beats up Bryan in the corner.  Morrison lands on his feet from a German suplex attempt by Bryan.  #9 Husky Harris.  He attacks everyone and guards Punk.  Punk gives Bryan a backdrop suplex.  #10 is Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Chavo gets his moment to run wild.  He hits Two Amigos on everybody, but only manages to complete the 3 on Bryan.  Chavo hits Harris with a missile dropkick.  #11 is Mark Henry!  Somebody gone get they ass kicked!  Henry eliminates Chavo.  Yoshi tries to chop Henry to no avail.  Henry clotheslines Yoshi out of the ring.  Boo!  Punk and Harris beat down Henry.  #12 is JTG.  He gets his moment to shine.  Harris tries to eliminate Bryan.  #13 is Michael McGillicutty, so there are three New Nexus guys in now.  McGillicutty eliminates JTG.  Everybody brawls.  Harris and McGillicutty back body drop Dibiase to the floor.  #14 is Chris Masters.  He goes after Nexus, which isn’t that bright, because there are three of them.  He hits a spinebuster on McGillicutty, then gets Punk in the Master Lock and tries to eliminate him.  McGillicutty saves Punk and stomps on Masters in the corner.  #15 is David Otunga.  Four Nexus guys in.  Punk (I think) eliminates Bryan.  Boo!  Nexus eliminates Masters and Morrison.  I think I missed Dibiase getting eliminated somewhere.  Nexus team up to dump Henry.  It’s all Nexus now.  #16 is Tyler Reks.  He charges right in like an idiot.  Nexus beats him down.  Punk drops him with a head kick and eliminates him.  #17 is WWE Tag Team Champion Vladimir Kozlov.  Nexus beat him down.  Punk tosses him.  #18 is R-Truth.  Another Nexus beatdown.  Another elimination by Punk.  Why don’t these guys just wait for a few more entrants to come in so they have a fighting chance?  #19 is Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh)!  Khali beats up everybody.  Khali eliminates Harris.  Punk begs off.  Khali beats him up.  #20 is Mason Ryan.  We’re back to having four Nexus guys.  Ryan and Khali brawl.  Ryan eliminates Khali!  #21 is BOOKER T!  Big pop for Booker.  Ryan immediately jumps him.  Booker rallies and runs wild.  Ryan gets a Harlem side kick.  Otunga gets a scissors kick.  McGillicutty gets a Book End.  The epic return of the SPINAROONIE!  Punk attacks Booker.  Booker tries to eliminate him.  Ryan saves Punk and tosses Booker.  Aww.  #22 is John Cena!  Cena runs wild on Nexus.  Cena low bridges Ryan out of the ring, then clotheslines Otunga and McGillicutty to the floor.  Punk’s all alone now!  They go at it.  Cena counters the Go 2 Sleep.  They do a double clothesline spot.  #23 is… Hornswoggle.  Fucking Hornswoggle.  Punk knocks him down and goes back after Cena.  Cena eliminates Punk with the Attitude Adjustment out of the ring.  All of that build just for Super Cena to eliminate all of Nexus?  Cena and Hornswoggle are working together now.  #24 is Tyson Kidd.  Cena and Hornswoggle double team him.  Of course I’m serious.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment.  He helps Horswoggle hit one as well.  Tyson is probably seriously rethinking his career choice right now.  Cena dumps Kidd.  #25 is Heath Slater.  Cena gives him shoulder blocks.  Hornswoggle gives Slater a stunner.  Cena and Hornswoggle do a double Five Knuckle Shuffle.  So a Ten Knuckle Shuffle?  Hornswoggle hits the tadpole splash.  Cena tosses Slater.  #26 is WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  Cena and Kofi look up at the big WrestleMania sign, then lock up.  Kofi leapfrogs Cena and connects with an elbow.  Kofi hits corner punches.  Cena hits a clothesline.  #27 is Jack Swagger.  Swagger runs wild.  He’s not playing nice.  Swagger hits Vader Bombs on Cena and Kingston.  Swagger stalks Hornswoggle after he starts some shit.  Kofi hits Swagger with a diving cross body.  Kingston uses Hornswoggle as a springboard to hit the Boom Drop.  #28 is Sheamus!  Sheamus beats up everyone.  Hornswoggle wants to fight.  Sheamus casually shoves him down.  Hornswoggle hits Sweet Shin Music.  Sheamus tries to toss him, but is saved by Cena.  Hornswoggle goes for the tadpole splash, but Sheamus recovers and eliminates him with the brogue kick.  Thank God.  #29 is Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio runs wild and hits lots of flippy twirly moves.  He goes for the 619 on Swagger, but Sheamus cuts him off.  Kofi hits Sheamus with the Trouble In Paradise.  Mysterio sends Swagger to the apron, then eliminates him with the 619.  #30 is Wade Barrett.  Barrett beats up everyone.  #31 is Dolph Ziggler.  So he gets a title shot and a Rumble spot?  He looks sore from earlier, but he sucks it up and beats up everyone.  There are a few near eliminations.  #32 is DIESEL!  Motherfucking Diesel!  The crowd LOVES him.  Diesel runs wild in his slow, plodding way.  A fucking “DIESEL!” chant in 2011!  #33 is Drew McIntyre.  McIntyre and Sheamus beat down Diesel, who the crowd still LOVES.  Mysterio finally gets revenge for that lawn dart thing and hits Diesel with a 619.  Barrett and Diesel brawl.  Sheamus and McIntyre are working together.  #34 is Alex Riley (w/ WWE Champion The Miz).  Cole marks out.  Diesel misses a big boot, crotches himself, and gets eliminated by Barrett.  The crowd DOES NOT like that.  Cole does like it when Miz joins the commentary team.  #35 is The Big Show.  He and Diesel stare at each other in the aisle.  Show hits the ring and runs wild.  Show chokeslams Barrett, then tosses Ziggler.  #36 is Ezekiel Jackson.  Show eliminates Ziggler.  Zeke runs wild and eliminates Big Show!  Zeke kicks ass.  He and Barrett work together.  #37 is WWE Tag Team Champion Santino Marella.  Marella tries to beat up Zeke.  Zeke yells at him.  Sheamus drops Santino the the brogue kick.  Santino rolls under the bottom rope to the floor.  Zeke and Barrett try to eliminate Cena.  #38 is Alberto Del Rio, introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez.  He’s in no hurry to get in the ring.  #39 is Randy Orton.  He attacks Del Rio in the aisle and throws him into the steps, then into the ring.  RKOs to Del Rio, Sheamus, and Kofi.  Orton tosses Kofi, then clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring.  Orton and Sheamus face off.  #40 is Kane.  He runs wild until he’s cut off by Big Zeke.  Kane low bridges Zeke out of the ring.  Mysterio eliminates Kane.  Barrett eliminates Mysterio.  Final four are Cena, Barrett, Del Rio, and Orton.  They pair off and brawl.  Cena and Orton beat up the heels, then face off again.  They brawl.  They counters each others’ finishes.  Barrett attacks Cena again.  Barrett beats up Orton while Del Rio beats up Cena.  Cena gives Del Rio the Attitude Adjustment.  Alex Riley comes back.  Cena decks him.  Miz sneaks in and eliminates Cena!  Cena is pissed.  Barrett and Del Rio beat down Orton.  Orton makes his comeback.  Powerslam on Barrett.  3.0 on Del Rio.  Orton humps the mat.  Orton eliminates Barrett.  Del Rio dumps Orton to win the Rumble in 1:08:42.  BUT WAIT!  SANTINO IS UP!  And he was never eliminated!  Santino hits the Cobra!  Santino dances around like a goof.  Del Rio throws him out to win the Rumble for real in 1:09:54.  Ricardo goes crazy.  Funniest Rumble finish ever!  Del Rio points at the WrestleMania sign as some pyro goes off behind it.  Ricardo keeps yelling “ALBERTO DEL RIO!”  Awesome.

Good show.  The Rumble is always good times.