Archive for ECW

The Chuiresu Diaries 10/17/12: Chicken Soup for the Wrestling Geek’s Soul

Posted in ECW, WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2012 by Grappleholic

I’m trying something different here.  I don’t get to write reviews often anymore due to being a very stressed college senior, but every now and then I get the chance to watch a little bit of Pro Wrestling and would like to share my thoughts on it.  So, from time to time, I may post what I’m calling a diary with short thoughts on whatever I happen to watch that day.  Full show reviews may still happen in the future, if I ever have free time again.

I picked the the ECW Unreleased Vol. 1 Blu-ray recently, and this evening I’m taking a few hours off from stressing about life, the universe, and everything to enjoy it for a bit.

Former ECW announcer and current WWE.com guy Joey Styles is hosting this thing.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Final: ECW Heavyweight Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (Hardcore TV, August 27, 1994).  This was the night Extreme Championship Wrestling was born.  Douglas and Scorpio had a very watchable little back and forth wrestling match, which Douglas won with a belly to belly suplex in 12:52 after Scorpio missed a moonsault.  But the post-match promo is where it’s at.  Douglas refuses the title, saying the NWA is a dead organization.  He instead declares his ECW title to be a World title.  Soon after, Eastern Championship Wrestling became Extreme Championship Wrestling.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven (w/ Stevie Richards & Beulah McGillicutty) (Hostile City Showdown, April 15, 1995).  Fun little brawl.  Raven gives Dreamer 3 consecutive DDTs, but Dreamer kicks out.  Dreamer DDTs Raven on the floor, but Stevie interferes.  Dreamer DDTs Stevie and the referee, then Beulah runs in.  Dreamer gives her a piledriver and Philadelphia, apparently big fans of domestic violence, love it.  Raven is announced as the winner by DQ.  Joey Styles puts it over as a moral victory for Dreamer.  Stevie carries Beulah to the back instead of allowing her to be stretchered.

Joey Styles puts over the workrate guys like Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero who got their first shot in the United States in ECW.

2 Cold Scorpio & Dean Malenko vs. ECW World Television Champion Eddie Guerrero & Taz  (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) (Heat Wave, 7/15/95).  The audio on some of these is pretty bad.  You can hear the announcer, but not the guys talking on the microphone.  So the banter before this match is completely lost on me.  This reminds me, I used to love Taz.  There’s something awesome about a short, stout guy who’s a total ass kicker.  If this isn’t the match where Taz broke his neck, it’s the same configuration of guys.  3 minutes in Eddie and Malenko tag in and start chain wrestling and I vomit rainbows in joy.  Scorpio and Taz have an awesome mat exchange that ends with Scorpio getting suplexed out of his boots.  For that matter, every combination of these guys is awesome, but Malenko and Eddie are two of my favorite wrestlers of all time.  Malenko puts Taz in a Sharpshooter that Joey Styles misidentifies as a Texas Cloverleaf.  I expect better from you, Joey!  I love how they’re working a really good wrestling match, but not at such a fast pace that you can’t digest anything.  Eddie hits a brainbuster that Malenko sells awesomely by convulsing like he just had a seizure.  He apparently still has feeling in his body, because he managed to kick out of the frog splash that followed.  Determined to paralyze Malenko, Eddie dropkicks him off the top turnbuckle to the floor.  Taz and Eddie hit a dropkick Doomsday Device.  That’s kind of neat.  Another Malenko/Eddie exchange with another misidentified Sharpshooter.  Have I forgotten what a Texas Cloverleaf is?  Okay, I googled it.  Looks like I’m the idiot.  Sorry, Joey.  Scorpio hits a dive to the floor.  Malenko tries to do one, but appears to lose his nerve and goes with an elbow smash off the apron.  More dives.  Paul E. hits Scorpio with the cell phone.  Taz hits a head-arm suplex for the pin.  State appointed referee Bill Alfonso orders the match restarted.  Scorpio superkicks Taz and Malenko hits the Tiger Driver on Eddie.  Alfonso fast counts the double pin to give it to Malenko and Scorpio in about 20 minutes.  This was pretty damned good, much to the surprise of no one.

ECW World Television Championship Match: “The Shooter” Dean Malenko (c) vs. Eddie Guerrero (Hardcore TV, July 28, 1995).  This match is great.  Seeing wrestlers of this caliber bust their asses for the sake of having a good match reminds me why I love professional wrestling.  Guerrero catches Malenko with a jackknife hold for the pin to recapture the title 11:47.

Joey Styles puts over Cactus Jack, always my favorite face of Foley.

Cactus Jack vs. “The Franchise” Shane Douglas (CyberSlam, 2/17/96).  Douglas jumps Cactus, who is wearing a jacket and tie for some reason.  That quickly goes, but Cactus is wearing a shirt underneath.  Good.  I’ve never seen Mick Foley shirtless, and I never want to.  The referee is Brian Hildebrand (aka Mark Curtis), God rest him.  Cactus is wearing the “Forgive me, Uncle Eric” shirt that I remember reading about in his first book.  Joey notes that Cactus didn’t come to wrestle tonight, hence the jacket, tie, and cowboy boots.  They brawl.  Crutches, guardrails, and chairs come into play.  Douglas hits a dive from the top rope into the crowd onto Cactus.  I’ve never seen that out of him.  Cactus does the “spit in the air and catch it in his mouth” bit, which is disgusting.  Joey Styles calls it “Vintage Cactus Jack” here in 1996, so fuck you, Michael Cole.  The referee hands Douglas an international object, which Douglas clocks Cactus with.  They’re handcuffs!  Douglas handcuffs Cactus and picks up a chair.  Cactus tries to fight back, but gets murdered in the face with a chair not as badly as he did with The Rock at Royal Rumble 1999, but still…  Cactus calls for help from Vince McMahon (this was right before Foley went to the WWF).  Since Vince doesn’t come out to help, Cactus calls for Mikey Whipwreck.  Douglas is trying to make Foley say “I Quit.”  So this really IS like Rumble ’99.  Douglas locks in a figure-four leglock.  Mikey Whipwreck runs in with a chair and… murders Cactus in the face with it.  Hildebrand counts the pin while Cactus is still in the figure-four in 15:42.  This was fun.

“Lion Heart” Chris Jericho vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (The Doctor Is In, 8/3/96).  There’s too much dancing in Scorpio’s entrance for my enjoyment.  I don’t know anything about dancing, so I don’t know if it’s even good or not.  This must have been one of Jericho’s last matches before going to WCW.  Good wrestling here.  Jericho goes a really wonky submission hold that even Joey can’t identify.  Crowd chants “This show sucks!”  I have no idea why.  They do some near falls.  Scorpio kicks Jericho out of the ring to the floor and says he’s going to finish him.  Jericho stays in the game, though.  Jericho tries to spring off the top and hit Scorpio on the apron, but eats the floor instead.  Scorpio hits a diving leg drop that I thought might be the finish, but Jericho’s got some fight left.  Jericho hits his rebound from the turnbuckle into a dropkick to the apron deal.  There should be an easier way to say that.  Scorpio hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the top that wins i… NO!  OMGWTF JERICHO KICKED OUT.  More counters and near falls.  They do some mildly crazy bumps, such as when Jericho powerslams Scorpio off the top rope.  Scorpio hits a Tombstone Piledriver and a Shooting Star press for the pin in 19:58.  Okay, yeah, this was pretty good.

Joey Styles talks about Sabu.

Tables & Ladders Match for the ECW World Tag Team Championship: The Eliminators (c) vs. Sabu & Rob Van Dam (CyberSlam, 2/22/97).  Saturn says the winners of this match will be the best team in the world.  That’s a stretch.  Tables and ladders are legal in this match, so of course, RVD and Saturn start with back and forth wrestling while the partners stand politely on the apron.  They start bringing in the plunder and taking crazy bumps at around the 7 minute mark.  With these bumps into ladders, it’s no wonder Perry Saturn has always been a bit touched in the head.  Saturn splashes Van Dam off a ladder.  Sabu kicks the ladder into Kronus, then puts him through a table at ringside.  Joey with the classic “OH MY GOD!”  The Eliminators keep the title when Kronus pins RVD after 2 Total Eliminations in 20:40.  Wild and fun.

And now, a brief digression.  I was chatting with a friend on Facebook (shout out, Shawn!) about memories of early 2000s wrestling and the time that Triple H defended the WWF title against TAKA Michinoku on Raw popped into my head.  I searched YouTube, and…

WWF Championship Match: Triple H (c) (w/ Shane McMahon & WWF Women’s Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs. TAKA Michinoku (w/ Funaki & The Acolytes) (RAW IS WAR, 4/10/00).  TAKA is a mystery opponent.  He hires the Acolyte Protection Agency to watch his back and they immediately run off Shane McMahon.  This match is all kinds of fun.  TAKA gets his shine and Jim Ross convinces you that he has a shot to win the WWF title.  It doesn’t help that Hunter is being a real shit ass to referee Earl Hebner.  Earl lets it go when Funaki dropkicks Triple H into the APA and the APA beat the hell out of him.  Vince and Shane McMahon come out and distract the Acolytes.  The Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan Pearl Harbor TAKA’s protectors, and Hunter hits the Pedigree for the pin in 5:53.  The dastardly heels put the boots to The Acolytes.  Man, this was fun and brought back fond memories of being a 12 year old WWF mark.

I’ve had a rough week and felt pretty miserable about life a few hours ago.  This heaping does of pro wrestling nostalgia was exactly what I needed.  I hope to find some free time again soon to watch the rest of the ECW set and the new CM Punk release.

WWE ECW 6/23/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, ECW open.  Matt Striker and Josh Matthews hype the Championship Scramble Match at the Bash.  Tonight, in a preview match, Tommy Dreamer & Christian take on Mark Henry & Jack Swagger!

Evan Bourne vs. Tyson Kidd (w/ David Hart Smith and Natalya).  This will rule.  Bourne still has his ribs tapped from his recent beatings at the hands of Mark Henry.  They’re awesome for a minute, then Smith tries to interfere.  The rest of the Hart Dynasty gets ejected, then Bourne and Kidd are awesome some more.  “ECW” chants after Bourne hits a dive to the outside.  Kidd works Bourne’s injured ribs.  Bourne turns a move attempt in a cover for 2.  Kidd attacks the ribs again.  Bourne takes the chest first bump into the turnbuckle made famous by Bret Hart.  Bourne hits a sort of frog splash to Kidd’s back and hurts his ribs again.  Bourne gets a sweet modified cradle for 2.  Striker plugs WWE Classics.  Bourne hits a sweet rana and another move and gets 2.  Kidd lands a spin kick to the ribs.  Bourne catches Kidd with a knee to the face, then goes up top and lands the Shooting Star press for the pin at 5:25.  Awesome little match.

Replay of last Finlay’s attacks on everybody last week.  Finlay is headed our way!  Commercials!

Finlay comes out.  He’s pissed because Christian and Dreamer texted instead of calling him after they hurt his eye.  Zack Ryder comes out and talks shit.  His music is fucking gay.  Finlay vs. Ryder is NEXT!  Which means it will be half over after the commercials.

Finlay vs. Zack Ryder. JIP, of course.  Ryder is wearing half trunks/half pants.  WTF?  Finlay kicks his ass, and rightfully so.  They end up conking heads, which apparently hurts Finlay’s bad eye.  This allows Ryder to get some heat on him.  Ryder targets the injured facial area.  Finlay makes a comeback.  Finlay Roll gets 2.  Finlay hurts the eye again.  Ryder uncovers a turnbuckle while the referee checks on him.  Finlay gets a quick flash pinfall at around the 10 minute mark.  Match was ok.  Commercials!

Raw Rebound.  Striker and Matthews hype the Bash card, then Striker explains the rules of a Championship Scramble Match with the aid of his chalk board in the ring.

Gregory Helms tries to interview Mark Henry.  Something heavy falls on one of the backstage guys.  Helms disappears, then The Hurricane helps the other backstage guys left the heavy thing.  He disappears, then Helms reappears with Henry and Atlas.  Yeah…  Commercials!

Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) & Jack Swagger vs. ECW Champion Tommy Dreamer & Christian.  Christian and Swagger lock up.  Swagger does his amateur stuff.  Dreamer tags in.  He and Christian don’t seem to be at each other’s throats this week.  Henry tags in.  Dreamer manages to drop him.  Dreamer and Christian hit dives on Henry and Swagger, respectively.  Commercials!  Back!  Christian fights off Swagger and nails a European uppercut, then tags in Dreamer.  Dreamer cleans house.  Swagger gets some heat on him.  Tags on both sides.  Christian tries to knock down Henry, and finally does after 2 missile dropkicks.  Cover gets 2.  Swagger runs in and gets taken out by Christian.  Christian avoids the World’s Strongest Slam and goes for a sunset flip.  Swagger tags in.  Christian avoids Henry’s butt drop.  Christian counters the Doctor Bomb with a reverse cradle for 2.  Killswitch on Swagger.  Atlas pulls Swagger’s foot under the ropes and points it out to the ref.  Dreamer disposes of Atlas.  Henry slams Christian into the post.  Swagger hits the Doctor Bomb for the pin at 13:03.  Alright match.  Henry drops Dreamer, then hits the World’s Strongest Slam on Swagger for good measure.  Henry looks strong heading into the Championship Scramble Match!

Fin.  Alright show.

WWE ECW 6/16/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, ECW open, then Matt Striker and Todd Grisham welcome us to Roanoke, Virginia!  Tonight, Tommy Dreamer faces Jack Swagger in a non-title match!

The Hart Dynasty heads to the ring as they show replays of last week’s match against Christian and Swagger.

David Hart Smith (w/ Tyson Kidd & Natalya) vs. Christian.  Lock up.  Smith overpowers Christian to start.  They trade hammerlocks.  Christian grabs a headlock, then comes off the ropes and gets dropped with a shoulder block.  Christian slaps Smith, schoolboys him for a quick 2, then slaps him again.  Smith slams Christian twice and gets 2.  Match goes on.  Smith tries to suplex Christian out of the ring, but Christian slips out and trips him, causing Smith to hit the apron face first.  Christian does a baseball slide or something.  I’m h having trouble keeping up.  Smith drops Christian painfully on the apron with a uranage.  Smith works over Christian in the ring.  Christian fights back and hits a big dive to the outside.  Commercial!  We come back to, shock shock, Smith holding Christian in a rear chin lock.  Smith hits some nasty backbreakers and covers for 2.  Christian fights Smith off and hits a missile dropkick for 2 and mounts his comeback, hitting a nice European uppercut off the turnbuckle.  Christian chases Tyson Kidd halfway around the ring for no reason, then runs back into the ring and into a lariat from Smith for a near fall.  Smith avoids the Killswitch and the tornado DDT, then Christian gets him with a springboard sunset flip for 2.  Smith counters another Killswitch attempt and hits his father’s trademark running powerslam for 2.  Christian goes up top.  Natalya distracts the referee, allowing Kidd to push Christian off the top rope.  Smith hits a backdrop suplex to win at 14:58.  That’s… slightly uncomfortable given recent events.  The Hart Dynasty prepares to beat down Christian, but Finlay runs down and runs them off.  Finlay then, for whatever reason, whacks Christian with the shillelagh.  Match was pretty decent.

Last week: Evan Bourne beat Tony Atlas, then got beat down by Mark Henry.  Henry vs. Bourne is NEXT!

Gregory Helms interviews Finlay.  I missed most of it.  Something about “an eye for an eye.”

Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) vs. Evan Bourne.  Henry charges straight ahead, but Bourne side steps him and throws some punches.  This incites Henry to kick his ass.  Bourne avoids a butt drop and tries to mount an offensive, but Henry blasts him with a lariat.  Bourne manages to dropkick Henry down and covers for 2.  Bourne ducks a lariat and tries a crucifix hold, but Henry turns it into the World’s Strongest Slam and squashes him for the victory at 3:39.  Henry delivers another WSM for good measure.  Fair match for what it was.  Henry’s gotten good at big guy selling.

Dreamer vs. Swagger is still to come!

Raw Rebound.

Gregory Helms introduces Jack Swagger, who wants his belt back.  Main event is NEXT!

Non-Title: ECW Champion Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger.  Dreamer is moving like a man possesed tonight.  Announcers put over that Dreamer has been training with Dean Malenko.  I wish Malenko would make a Finlay-esque comback.  Dreamer goes for his cannoball of the apron, but Swagger catches him with a powerslam.  Commercial!  Back from break, Swagger stretches Dreamer’s face in a sick way.  During the break, he hit the springboard Vader Bomb.  Dreamer tries to fight back, but Swagger locks him in an abdominal stretch.  Dreamer escapes and gets a sunset flip for a near fall.  Swagger hits a belly to belly for 2.  Swagger nails a lariat, I think.  I just halfway caught it out of the corner of my eye.  Swagger puts Dreamer in a waistlock, then takes a funny face bump into the turnbuckle.  Dreamer makes his comeback, then Swagger shuts him down again.  Swagger tries to set up a superplex but gets pushed away.  Swagger catches a diving Dreamer and goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Dreamer turns it into a cradle for 2.  Reverse DDT by Dreamer gets 2 as well.  Swagger avoids a frog splash and gets an Oklahome roll for the pin at 11:57.  Okay match I guess.  Finlay runs down and whacks Dreamer with the shillelagh.  Christian runs down and attacks Finlay.  Swagger attacks Christian and tosses him out, then Finlay whacks Swagger with the shillelagh.  I hope this means a return of the fighting Irish bastard Finlay.

Fin.

WWE ECW 6/9/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then highlights of Tommy Dreamer winning the ECW Championship in a Triple Threat Match against Christian and Jack Swagger this past Sunday at Extreme Rules.  ECW open.

Pyro and ballyhoo, then Matt Striker and Josh Matthews welcome us to Biloxi, Mississippi.

Tony Chimel introduces the ECW GM, Tiffany, who in turn introduces the NEW ECW Champion, Tommy Dreamer, who, since he is the champion, gets a new contract.  He says a few kind words, then as he gets ready to sign on the dotted line, Christian comes down with a box of tissue.  Christian is angry that Swagger got pinned, costing Christian his title.  He says that he will regain the title when he gets his rematch, then shakes Dreamer’s hand.  Tommy again tries to put pen to paper, but Jack Swagger interrupts.  He wants Christian to go to the board of directors with him and have Dreamer stripped of the title because he things the one day extension on Dreamer’s contract wasn’t valid.  Christian teases agreeing, then he decks Swagger and he and Dreamer send him out of the ring.  Dreamer finally signs his contract, but as he celebrates, Christian powerbombs him through the table that was set up in the ring.  That was mean.

How will this SHOCKING turn of events affect our main event tonight, in which Dreamer & Christian are scheduled to take on the Hart Dynasty?  Commercials!

This Monday: The 3-For-All!

Tiffany is talking to some guys backstage who knocked some shit over.  Christian shows up and Tiffany tells him he took out Dreamer, so now he has to tag with Swagger.

Tony Atlas (w/ Mark Henry) vs. Evan Bourne.  Atlas is still jacked, but old and immobile.  Bourne bumps for him and practically wrestles himself.  Atlas decides to try a little bit and takes a bump or two.  Bourne wins with the Shooting Star press at 3:14.  Henry jumps Bourne and hits the World’s Strongest Slam after the match.

Striker and Matthews reaffirm that the main even tonight is now Christian & Swagger vs. The Hart Dynasty.  Commercials!, including an awesome Extreme Rules highlights video.

Handicap Match: Vladimir Kozlov vs. Luke Hawx & Chris Lewie.  Kozlov destroys the jobbers with extreme prejudice and pins Lewie at 1:33 with his move.

Christian and Swagger bicker in the locker room.  Commercials!

“Last night on Raw…” segment.  Striker and Matthews then announce that Monday night on Raw, there will be a four-way match between Randy Orton, John Cena, Triple H, and Big Show for the vacant WWE Championship.  Plus, Tommy Dreamer will defend the ECW Championship against Christian.

The Hart Founda…. er, Dynasty, comes out for the main event.  Natalya says her boys will beat the two former ECW Champions.  Commercials!

The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya) vs. Christian & Jack Swagger.  Harts take turns working over Christian to start.  Christian counters Kidd and tags in Swagger.  Swagger has a brief exchange with Kidd, then shoves Christian to tag him back in.  Christian hits a missile dropkick on Kidd, the Swagger shoves him in a shot from Kidd.  Harts start to work over Christian again as we take our final commercial break!  Back from break, Christian plays face in peril.  I guess he has to, since he’s the only face in the match.  Swagger calls for the tag, but fakes out.  Christian slaps him.  Shouldn’t that count as a tag?  Awesome sequence between Christian and Smith.  Kidd tags in and almost takes the Killswitch, but counters it.  Another great sequence between Christian and Kidd.  Christian gets a near fall with his reverse DDT. then Swagger double crosses him.  Shock shock.  Smith pins Christian after the Hart Attack at 11:26.  Really good match.  Swagger and the Hart Dynasty commence to beat down Christian, but Tommy Dreamer runs down with a Singapore can to make the save, even though Christian powerbombed him through a table earlier in the show.  Dreamer’s music plays, fade to black…

WWE ECW 3/17/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

Cold open this week.  Finlay and Hornswoggle arrive and meet Teddy Long, clad in St. Patrick’s day attire.  Hornswoggle disappears to cause mischief.  ECW open.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcome us to wherever the hell we are.  They taped last night, so I guess it’s San Antonio.

Christian & MVP vs. WWE United States Champion Shelton Benjamin & Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas).  MVP and Benjamin start.  They’ll wrestle for the title this week on Smackdown.  Commercial.  Steve Austin Hall of Fame commercial.  Back to the match, where Henry has MVP in a bearhug.  MVP plays face in peril for a while.  He counters a Paydirt attempt with an overhead belly-to-belly and makes the hot tag to Christian.  Christian hits his reverse DDT on Benjamin for a near fall, decks Mark Henry on the apron, hits a monkey flip and a sunset flip out of the corner for a near fall.  Christian hits a tornado DDT and covers, but Mark Henry comes in and pulls him off the cover.  MVP comes in and he and Christian deal with Henry.  Christian decks Tony Atlas, but Benjamin hits him with the Paydirt for the win at 8:56.  Good match.

12 Rounds plug.  I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS MOVIE and it hasn’t even come out yet.

Finlay looks for Hornswoggle and finds DJ Gabriel and Alicia Fox, who are dancing.

EVAN F’N BOURNE RETURNS TONIGHT!

WrestleMania XX video from last night or last week or whenever the hell they showed it.

Jamie Noble vs. Evan Bourne.  FUCK YEAH!  Awesome fast paced match.  Tyson Kidd and Natalya watch backstage.  Noble slows Bourne down by putting him in a facelock.  Bourne escapes and knees Noble in the face, then hits a swank rana.  Bourne hits a standing moonsault for a near fall.  Bourne heads to the top rope.  Noble stops him but gets kicked in the face a few times.  Bourne hits the Shooting Star press for the win at 2:56.  That ruled for a few minutes.  I want Bourne vs. Tyson Kidd!

Finlay finds Hornswoggle throwing stuff at Katie Lea.  Commercial.

Randy Orton/Triple H hype video.

Smackdown’s 500th episode this Friday night!

ECW Champion Jack Swagger comes out so the fans can look at him, then leaves.  That was pointless.

Tiffany convinces Teddy Long to have a divas night on ECW.  Paul Burchill and Katie Lea barge in to bitch about Hornswoggle.  Long books Burchill vs. Finlay tonight.

Tonight: The Dirt Sheet!

Edge/Vickie/Show/Cena stuff from Raw last night.

Paul Burchill (w/ Katie Lea) vs. Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle).  Finlay destroys Burchill as Hornswoggle bothers the announcers.  Finlay sends a charging Burchill out of the ring, but then the distraction allows Burchill to get a cheap shot and get the advantage.  Finlay gets beat up for a bit, then hits the Celtic Cross for the win at 3:05.

The Dirt Sheet is NEXT!

Undertaker/Michaels hype.

12 Rounds hype.  WHY DO THEY HAVE TO HYPE THIS FUCKING MOVIE 2-4 TIMES EVERY FUCKING SHOW?

The Dirt Sheet.  I’ve never seen one of these.  World Tag Team Champions The Miz and John Morrison with the Bella Twins.  Brie seems unhappy to be there, while Nikki seems happy.  They show Miz and Morrison beating Carlito and Primo on Smackdown last week.  Miz and Morrison put on masks of butts with afros.  WWE Tag Team Champions The Colons come down and bring the Carlito’s Cabana set.  The Colons challenge Miz & Morrison to a tag title unification match at WrestleMania, and they accept.  The Colons spit apples at Miz and Morrison but miss and hit the Bella that likes Miz and Morrison.  She shoves the Bella who likes Primo and Carlito.  CATFIGHT!  Each team ends up with one of the twins.  Fin.  Fun show.

WWE ECW 2/10/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  A couple of weeks ago, Hornswoggle stole Jack Swagger’s ECW Championship belt.  Swagger pushed Hornswoggle and got his ass kicked by Finlay.  Last week, Finlay had a hand from Hornswoggle in handing Swagger is first defeat.

Matt Striker and Todd Grisham welcome us LIVE to Fresno, California as Jack Swagger makes his way to the ring.  He has to defend the title against Finlay at No Way Out, but tonight he’s calling out Hornswoggle!  However, the music that plays is a remixed version of “Just Close Your Eyes.”  It’s the returning Christian, who makes his way to the ring with a nice (not huge, but nice) response from the crowd.  Captain Charisma makes fun of Swagger’s lisp, then issues a challenge to the winner of the Swagger/Finlay No Way Out title match.  Swagger says Christian is not a threat to him, so Christian nails him with the microphone.  Instant commercial.

Moments ago: Christian nailed Jack Swagger with a microphone!

Swagger complains to Teddy Long and says he’s taking the rest of the night off.  Long says no, Swagger has a match tonight with Christian!

Tommy Dreamer is in the ring.  Last week, Miz and Morrison made fun of him, then beat him up.

Tommy Dreamer vs. World Tag Team Champion The Miz (w/ John Morrison).  Dreamer throws a weak punch, then awkwardly takes him down.  Tommy goes to ringside and makes Miz take a bump into the guardrail, then throws him back in.  Miz takes over briefly, then Tommy hits a backdrop suplex.  Tommy has a flurry of offense and gets a near fall with a Sky High-type move.  Dreamer hits a neckbreaker off the ropes and covers, but Miz gets a foot on the ropes.  A distraction from Morrison allows Miz to hit the Reality Check (I think) for the win at 3:08.

Tonight: Christian vs. Jack Swagger!

WWE Slam of the Week: Last week, the Boogeman squashed Jamie Noble.  Noble bailed before he got the worm treatment

Teddy Long is chatting with Tiffany in his office when Noble comes in.  Long offers him a rematch with Boogeyman, but Noble doesn’t want that.  He wants better treatment since he’s a huge superstar.  There’s a knock on the door.  It’s Natalya and TJ Wilson, who is going by the name Tyson Kidd.  They put over that he was trained in the Dungeon by Bret Hart.  Sure he was.  Was he?

No Way Out: Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels vs. JBL, a couple of Elimination Chamber matches, and Finlay vs. Jack Swagger.

Christian is getting ready when Finlay and Hornswoggle come in.  Finlay welcomes Christian to ECW, but warns him that after No Way Out, he’s going to have to go through him if he wants the ECW Title.

WrestleMania is 54 days away!

Evan Bourne returns… when?

Tyson Kidd (w/ Natalya) vs. Bao Nguyen, whose name is way to difficult a name for a one shot jobber to have.  Bao goes a hammer lock to start, then Kidd kicks his ass.  Kidd nails a kick right to Bao’s face!  Kidd wins at 1:30 with a swank springboard elbow drop.  Jamie Noble appears at the top of the ramp to stare at Kidd and Natalya.  That should be a good one for next week.  Kidd was impressive.

Swagger vs. Christian is NEXT!

Raw Rebound: Orton talked, then wrestled Undertaker.  Legacy ran in and the three of them beat down Taker until Shane McMahon made the save.  Yes, Shane McMahon saved UNDERTAKER.

Non-Title: ECW Champion Jack Swagger vs. Christian.  Swagger out wrestles Christian to start, then Christian nails him.  Finlay and Hornswoggle comes down to join the announcers as we take an instant commercial break, during which Swagger took over and press slammed Christian out of the ring.  Back in the ring now, Swagger is beating up Christian.  Christian starts making a comeback when he hits a tornado DDT for a near fall.  He hits his reverse DDT and goes for either his frog splash or a headbutt, but misses.  Christian goes for the Unprettier, but Swagger counters and gets a near fall off of an Oklahoma roll, then a  belly-to-belly suplex.  They tease a German off the apron, but Swagger ends up being knocked off and into the announce table.  Swagger throws Christian over the table into Finlay and Hornswoggle.  Back in the ring, Swagger exposes the turnbuckle, but Christian gets him with an inside cradle for a near fall.  Hornswoggle provides a distraction, allowing Finlay to hit Swagger with the stick I can’t spell.  Christian takes advantage and hits the Unprettier for the win at 8:14+ commercials.  Pretty decent match.  It’s good to see Christian back in WWE and away from that circus in Orlando.

WWE ECW 1/13/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Hardy/Swagger hype video, then ECW open.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are our announcers.  Grisham puts this show over as one of the biggest ECW episodes in history.  DJ Gabriel and Alicia Fox are dancing in the ring.

DJ Gabriel & Alicia Fox vs. Paul Burchill & Katie Lea.  The ladies start.  Fox hits some weak looking forearms.  At least she’s trying.  I’ve never seen her wrestle before, but she actually looks decent.  The men tag in and Burchill kicks ass.  Man, I miss Pirate Paul.  I’ve still got a piece of plastic pirate gold he threw out at a house show I went to March 2006.  Gabriel is pretty jacked, and Burchill still looks huge next to him.  Either Gabriel is a small guy or I’ve never noticed how big Burchill is.  Gabriel hits a diving European uppercut on Burchill to win at 3:01.  Not bad for what it was.

They show the awesome Austin Hall of Fame video from Raw again.

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy for the ECW Championship TONIGHT!  Commercial!

Royal Rumble Hype: World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs. JBL (w/ Shawn Michaels).

Tommy Dreamer comes out in a suit.  There’s a sentence I never thought I would type.  Tommy is sad because he’s old.  He says if he doesn’t win the title by June 6, he’ll leave ECW.  Poor Tommy.

Another Jack Swagger video.  They’re trying like hell to put him over aren’t they?

Starrcade: The Essential Collection is available NOW!  I got the last copy my store had.

Tiffany and Ricky Ortiz are about to kiss when Hornswoggle runs in and causes a ruckus.  Finlay gives chase.

The Boogeyman vs. Sammy Savard.  Boogeyman wins in 59 seconds with the pumphandle slam.  At least it was short.  I saw Boogeyman and Booker T go 10 minutes at a house show once, and it wasn’t pretty.

Smackdown Rebound: Jeff Hardy and a paid actress his girlfriend had a car accident!

Matt Hardy is the ECW Champion, and Jack Swagger isn’t!  Enjoy it while you can, buddy.

Another plug for Kennedy’s movie.  I still don’t want to see it.

Mr. McMahon returns to Raw next week!  One of the video packages from Raw replays.  Among the people he fires are Kurt Angle and Mick Foley.  Burn, TNA, BURN!

ECW Championship Match: Matt Hardy (c) vs. Jack Swagger.  Boxing-style intros.  They sure are trying hard to make this feel like a big match.  Some fine wrestling to start.  Then a commercial.  Dammit.  Back from break, Swagger is in control, but Matt makes a comeback.  Swagger hits some forearms and sends Matt off the apron to the floor.  I hope Alicia Fox is watching and sees how to throw a proper forearm, because Swagger is throwing some good ones.  Another commercial.  Dammit.  Back again, Swagger is continuing to work over Matt’s arm so he can’t hit the Twist of Fate.  Swagger hits a superplex.  He tries for another, but Matt counters with a sunset flip powerbomb.  Matt gets a two count from that.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Swagger counters and hits a Belly-to-Belly.  Swagger goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Hardy hits a Russian leg sweep for another near fall.  Swagger hits a quick Vader bomb in the corner for a near fall, then goes back to the arm with a cross armbreaker.  Rope break gets Matt out of it.  Matt hits a reverse DDT for a near fall.  Swagger throws Hardy into the exposed turnbuckle and hits the Doctor Bomb to win the title at 18:42.  I think there was more commercial time than wrestling time, but what was shown was pretty good.