Archive for ECW World Heavyweight Championship

The Chuiresu Diaries 10/17/12: Chicken Soup for the Wrestling Geek’s Soul

Posted in ECW, WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2012 by Grappleholic

I’m trying something different here.  I don’t get to write reviews often anymore due to being a very stressed college senior, but every now and then I get the chance to watch a little bit of Pro Wrestling and would like to share my thoughts on it.  So, from time to time, I may post what I’m calling a diary with short thoughts on whatever I happen to watch that day.  Full show reviews may still happen in the future, if I ever have free time again.

I picked the the ECW Unreleased Vol. 1 Blu-ray recently, and this evening I’m taking a few hours off from stressing about life, the universe, and everything to enjoy it for a bit.

Former ECW announcer and current WWE.com guy Joey Styles is hosting this thing.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Final: ECW Heavyweight Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (Hardcore TV, August 27, 1994).  This was the night Extreme Championship Wrestling was born.  Douglas and Scorpio had a very watchable little back and forth wrestling match, which Douglas won with a belly to belly suplex in 12:52 after Scorpio missed a moonsault.  But the post-match promo is where it’s at.  Douglas refuses the title, saying the NWA is a dead organization.  He instead declares his ECW title to be a World title.  Soon after, Eastern Championship Wrestling became Extreme Championship Wrestling.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven (w/ Stevie Richards & Beulah McGillicutty) (Hostile City Showdown, April 15, 1995).  Fun little brawl.  Raven gives Dreamer 3 consecutive DDTs, but Dreamer kicks out.  Dreamer DDTs Raven on the floor, but Stevie interferes.  Dreamer DDTs Stevie and the referee, then Beulah runs in.  Dreamer gives her a piledriver and Philadelphia, apparently big fans of domestic violence, love it.  Raven is announced as the winner by DQ.  Joey Styles puts it over as a moral victory for Dreamer.  Stevie carries Beulah to the back instead of allowing her to be stretchered.

Joey Styles puts over the workrate guys like Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero who got their first shot in the United States in ECW.

2 Cold Scorpio & Dean Malenko vs. ECW World Television Champion Eddie Guerrero & Taz  (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) (Heat Wave, 7/15/95).  The audio on some of these is pretty bad.  You can hear the announcer, but not the guys talking on the microphone.  So the banter before this match is completely lost on me.  This reminds me, I used to love Taz.  There’s something awesome about a short, stout guy who’s a total ass kicker.  If this isn’t the match where Taz broke his neck, it’s the same configuration of guys.  3 minutes in Eddie and Malenko tag in and start chain wrestling and I vomit rainbows in joy.  Scorpio and Taz have an awesome mat exchange that ends with Scorpio getting suplexed out of his boots.  For that matter, every combination of these guys is awesome, but Malenko and Eddie are two of my favorite wrestlers of all time.  Malenko puts Taz in a Sharpshooter that Joey Styles misidentifies as a Texas Cloverleaf.  I expect better from you, Joey!  I love how they’re working a really good wrestling match, but not at such a fast pace that you can’t digest anything.  Eddie hits a brainbuster that Malenko sells awesomely by convulsing like he just had a seizure.  He apparently still has feeling in his body, because he managed to kick out of the frog splash that followed.  Determined to paralyze Malenko, Eddie dropkicks him off the top turnbuckle to the floor.  Taz and Eddie hit a dropkick Doomsday Device.  That’s kind of neat.  Another Malenko/Eddie exchange with another misidentified Sharpshooter.  Have I forgotten what a Texas Cloverleaf is?  Okay, I googled it.  Looks like I’m the idiot.  Sorry, Joey.  Scorpio hits a dive to the floor.  Malenko tries to do one, but appears to lose his nerve and goes with an elbow smash off the apron.  More dives.  Paul E. hits Scorpio with the cell phone.  Taz hits a head-arm suplex for the pin.  State appointed referee Bill Alfonso orders the match restarted.  Scorpio superkicks Taz and Malenko hits the Tiger Driver on Eddie.  Alfonso fast counts the double pin to give it to Malenko and Scorpio in about 20 minutes.  This was pretty damned good, much to the surprise of no one.

ECW World Television Championship Match: “The Shooter” Dean Malenko (c) vs. Eddie Guerrero (Hardcore TV, July 28, 1995).  This match is great.  Seeing wrestlers of this caliber bust their asses for the sake of having a good match reminds me why I love professional wrestling.  Guerrero catches Malenko with a jackknife hold for the pin to recapture the title 11:47.

Joey Styles puts over Cactus Jack, always my favorite face of Foley.

Cactus Jack vs. “The Franchise” Shane Douglas (CyberSlam, 2/17/96).  Douglas jumps Cactus, who is wearing a jacket and tie for some reason.  That quickly goes, but Cactus is wearing a shirt underneath.  Good.  I’ve never seen Mick Foley shirtless, and I never want to.  The referee is Brian Hildebrand (aka Mark Curtis), God rest him.  Cactus is wearing the “Forgive me, Uncle Eric” shirt that I remember reading about in his first book.  Joey notes that Cactus didn’t come to wrestle tonight, hence the jacket, tie, and cowboy boots.  They brawl.  Crutches, guardrails, and chairs come into play.  Douglas hits a dive from the top rope into the crowd onto Cactus.  I’ve never seen that out of him.  Cactus does the “spit in the air and catch it in his mouth” bit, which is disgusting.  Joey Styles calls it “Vintage Cactus Jack” here in 1996, so fuck you, Michael Cole.  The referee hands Douglas an international object, which Douglas clocks Cactus with.  They’re handcuffs!  Douglas handcuffs Cactus and picks up a chair.  Cactus tries to fight back, but gets murdered in the face with a chair not as badly as he did with The Rock at Royal Rumble 1999, but still…  Cactus calls for help from Vince McMahon (this was right before Foley went to the WWF).  Since Vince doesn’t come out to help, Cactus calls for Mikey Whipwreck.  Douglas is trying to make Foley say “I Quit.”  So this really IS like Rumble ’99.  Douglas locks in a figure-four leglock.  Mikey Whipwreck runs in with a chair and… murders Cactus in the face with it.  Hildebrand counts the pin while Cactus is still in the figure-four in 15:42.  This was fun.

“Lion Heart” Chris Jericho vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (The Doctor Is In, 8/3/96).  There’s too much dancing in Scorpio’s entrance for my enjoyment.  I don’t know anything about dancing, so I don’t know if it’s even good or not.  This must have been one of Jericho’s last matches before going to WCW.  Good wrestling here.  Jericho goes a really wonky submission hold that even Joey can’t identify.  Crowd chants “This show sucks!”  I have no idea why.  They do some near falls.  Scorpio kicks Jericho out of the ring to the floor and says he’s going to finish him.  Jericho stays in the game, though.  Jericho tries to spring off the top and hit Scorpio on the apron, but eats the floor instead.  Scorpio hits a diving leg drop that I thought might be the finish, but Jericho’s got some fight left.  Jericho hits his rebound from the turnbuckle into a dropkick to the apron deal.  There should be an easier way to say that.  Scorpio hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the top that wins i… NO!  OMGWTF JERICHO KICKED OUT.  More counters and near falls.  They do some mildly crazy bumps, such as when Jericho powerslams Scorpio off the top rope.  Scorpio hits a Tombstone Piledriver and a Shooting Star press for the pin in 19:58.  Okay, yeah, this was pretty good.

Joey Styles talks about Sabu.

Tables & Ladders Match for the ECW World Tag Team Championship: The Eliminators (c) vs. Sabu & Rob Van Dam (CyberSlam, 2/22/97).  Saturn says the winners of this match will be the best team in the world.  That’s a stretch.  Tables and ladders are legal in this match, so of course, RVD and Saturn start with back and forth wrestling while the partners stand politely on the apron.  They start bringing in the plunder and taking crazy bumps at around the 7 minute mark.  With these bumps into ladders, it’s no wonder Perry Saturn has always been a bit touched in the head.  Saturn splashes Van Dam off a ladder.  Sabu kicks the ladder into Kronus, then puts him through a table at ringside.  Joey with the classic “OH MY GOD!”  The Eliminators keep the title when Kronus pins RVD after 2 Total Eliminations in 20:40.  Wild and fun.

And now, a brief digression.  I was chatting with a friend on Facebook (shout out, Shawn!) about memories of early 2000s wrestling and the time that Triple H defended the WWF title against TAKA Michinoku on Raw popped into my head.  I searched YouTube, and…

WWF Championship Match: Triple H (c) (w/ Shane McMahon & WWF Women’s Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs. TAKA Michinoku (w/ Funaki & The Acolytes) (RAW IS WAR, 4/10/00).  TAKA is a mystery opponent.  He hires the Acolyte Protection Agency to watch his back and they immediately run off Shane McMahon.  This match is all kinds of fun.  TAKA gets his shine and Jim Ross convinces you that he has a shot to win the WWF title.  It doesn’t help that Hunter is being a real shit ass to referee Earl Hebner.  Earl lets it go when Funaki dropkicks Triple H into the APA and the APA beat the hell out of him.  Vince and Shane McMahon come out and distract the Acolytes.  The Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan Pearl Harbor TAKA’s protectors, and Hunter hits the Pedigree for the pin in 5:53.  The dastardly heels put the boots to The Acolytes.  Man, this was fun and brought back fond memories of being a 12 year old WWF mark.

I’ve had a rough week and felt pretty miserable about life a few hours ago.  This heaping does of pro wrestling nostalgia was exactly what I needed.  I hope to find some free time again soon to watch the rest of the ECW set and the new CM Punk release.

WWE ECW 6/23/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, ECW open.  Matt Striker and Josh Matthews hype the Championship Scramble Match at the Bash.  Tonight, in a preview match, Tommy Dreamer & Christian take on Mark Henry & Jack Swagger!

Evan Bourne vs. Tyson Kidd (w/ David Hart Smith and Natalya).  This will rule.  Bourne still has his ribs tapped from his recent beatings at the hands of Mark Henry.  They’re awesome for a minute, then Smith tries to interfere.  The rest of the Hart Dynasty gets ejected, then Bourne and Kidd are awesome some more.  “ECW” chants after Bourne hits a dive to the outside.  Kidd works Bourne’s injured ribs.  Bourne turns a move attempt in a cover for 2.  Kidd attacks the ribs again.  Bourne takes the chest first bump into the turnbuckle made famous by Bret Hart.  Bourne hits a sort of frog splash to Kidd’s back and hurts his ribs again.  Bourne gets a sweet modified cradle for 2.  Striker plugs WWE Classics.  Bourne hits a sweet rana and another move and gets 2.  Kidd lands a spin kick to the ribs.  Bourne catches Kidd with a knee to the face, then goes up top and lands the Shooting Star press for the pin at 5:25.  Awesome little match.

Replay of last Finlay’s attacks on everybody last week.  Finlay is headed our way!  Commercials!

Finlay comes out.  He’s pissed because Christian and Dreamer texted instead of calling him after they hurt his eye.  Zack Ryder comes out and talks shit.  His music is fucking gay.  Finlay vs. Ryder is NEXT!  Which means it will be half over after the commercials.

Finlay vs. Zack Ryder. JIP, of course.  Ryder is wearing half trunks/half pants.  WTF?  Finlay kicks his ass, and rightfully so.  They end up conking heads, which apparently hurts Finlay’s bad eye.  This allows Ryder to get some heat on him.  Ryder targets the injured facial area.  Finlay makes a comeback.  Finlay Roll gets 2.  Finlay hurts the eye again.  Ryder uncovers a turnbuckle while the referee checks on him.  Finlay gets a quick flash pinfall at around the 10 minute mark.  Match was ok.  Commercials!

Raw Rebound.  Striker and Matthews hype the Bash card, then Striker explains the rules of a Championship Scramble Match with the aid of his chalk board in the ring.

Gregory Helms tries to interview Mark Henry.  Something heavy falls on one of the backstage guys.  Helms disappears, then The Hurricane helps the other backstage guys left the heavy thing.  He disappears, then Helms reappears with Henry and Atlas.  Yeah…  Commercials!

Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) & Jack Swagger vs. ECW Champion Tommy Dreamer & Christian.  Christian and Swagger lock up.  Swagger does his amateur stuff.  Dreamer tags in.  He and Christian don’t seem to be at each other’s throats this week.  Henry tags in.  Dreamer manages to drop him.  Dreamer and Christian hit dives on Henry and Swagger, respectively.  Commercials!  Back!  Christian fights off Swagger and nails a European uppercut, then tags in Dreamer.  Dreamer cleans house.  Swagger gets some heat on him.  Tags on both sides.  Christian tries to knock down Henry, and finally does after 2 missile dropkicks.  Cover gets 2.  Swagger runs in and gets taken out by Christian.  Christian avoids the World’s Strongest Slam and goes for a sunset flip.  Swagger tags in.  Christian avoids Henry’s butt drop.  Christian counters the Doctor Bomb with a reverse cradle for 2.  Killswitch on Swagger.  Atlas pulls Swagger’s foot under the ropes and points it out to the ref.  Dreamer disposes of Atlas.  Henry slams Christian into the post.  Swagger hits the Doctor Bomb for the pin at 13:03.  Alright match.  Henry drops Dreamer, then hits the World’s Strongest Slam on Swagger for good measure.  Henry looks strong heading into the Championship Scramble Match!

Fin.  Alright show.

WWE ECW 6/16/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, ECW open, then Matt Striker and Todd Grisham welcome us to Roanoke, Virginia!  Tonight, Tommy Dreamer faces Jack Swagger in a non-title match!

The Hart Dynasty heads to the ring as they show replays of last week’s match against Christian and Swagger.

David Hart Smith (w/ Tyson Kidd & Natalya) vs. Christian.  Lock up.  Smith overpowers Christian to start.  They trade hammerlocks.  Christian grabs a headlock, then comes off the ropes and gets dropped with a shoulder block.  Christian slaps Smith, schoolboys him for a quick 2, then slaps him again.  Smith slams Christian twice and gets 2.  Match goes on.  Smith tries to suplex Christian out of the ring, but Christian slips out and trips him, causing Smith to hit the apron face first.  Christian does a baseball slide or something.  I’m h having trouble keeping up.  Smith drops Christian painfully on the apron with a uranage.  Smith works over Christian in the ring.  Christian fights back and hits a big dive to the outside.  Commercial!  We come back to, shock shock, Smith holding Christian in a rear chin lock.  Smith hits some nasty backbreakers and covers for 2.  Christian fights Smith off and hits a missile dropkick for 2 and mounts his comeback, hitting a nice European uppercut off the turnbuckle.  Christian chases Tyson Kidd halfway around the ring for no reason, then runs back into the ring and into a lariat from Smith for a near fall.  Smith avoids the Killswitch and the tornado DDT, then Christian gets him with a springboard sunset flip for 2.  Smith counters another Killswitch attempt and hits his father’s trademark running powerslam for 2.  Christian goes up top.  Natalya distracts the referee, allowing Kidd to push Christian off the top rope.  Smith hits a backdrop suplex to win at 14:58.  That’s… slightly uncomfortable given recent events.  The Hart Dynasty prepares to beat down Christian, but Finlay runs down and runs them off.  Finlay then, for whatever reason, whacks Christian with the shillelagh.  Match was pretty decent.

Last week: Evan Bourne beat Tony Atlas, then got beat down by Mark Henry.  Henry vs. Bourne is NEXT!

Gregory Helms interviews Finlay.  I missed most of it.  Something about “an eye for an eye.”

Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) vs. Evan Bourne.  Henry charges straight ahead, but Bourne side steps him and throws some punches.  This incites Henry to kick his ass.  Bourne avoids a butt drop and tries to mount an offensive, but Henry blasts him with a lariat.  Bourne manages to dropkick Henry down and covers for 2.  Bourne ducks a lariat and tries a crucifix hold, but Henry turns it into the World’s Strongest Slam and squashes him for the victory at 3:39.  Henry delivers another WSM for good measure.  Fair match for what it was.  Henry’s gotten good at big guy selling.

Dreamer vs. Swagger is still to come!

Raw Rebound.

Gregory Helms introduces Jack Swagger, who wants his belt back.  Main event is NEXT!

Non-Title: ECW Champion Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger.  Dreamer is moving like a man possesed tonight.  Announcers put over that Dreamer has been training with Dean Malenko.  I wish Malenko would make a Finlay-esque comback.  Dreamer goes for his cannoball of the apron, but Swagger catches him with a powerslam.  Commercial!  Back from break, Swagger stretches Dreamer’s face in a sick way.  During the break, he hit the springboard Vader Bomb.  Dreamer tries to fight back, but Swagger locks him in an abdominal stretch.  Dreamer escapes and gets a sunset flip for a near fall.  Swagger hits a belly to belly for 2.  Swagger nails a lariat, I think.  I just halfway caught it out of the corner of my eye.  Swagger puts Dreamer in a waistlock, then takes a funny face bump into the turnbuckle.  Dreamer makes his comeback, then Swagger shuts him down again.  Swagger tries to set up a superplex but gets pushed away.  Swagger catches a diving Dreamer and goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Dreamer turns it into a cradle for 2.  Reverse DDT by Dreamer gets 2 as well.  Swagger avoids a frog splash and gets an Oklahome roll for the pin at 11:57.  Okay match I guess.  Finlay runs down and whacks Dreamer with the shillelagh.  Christian runs down and attacks Finlay.  Swagger attacks Christian and tosses him out, then Finlay whacks Swagger with the shillelagh.  I hope this means a return of the fighting Irish bastard Finlay.

Fin.

WWE Monday Night Raw 6/15/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then cut to Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler telling us that Mr. McMahon will be here tonight.  Replay of the Legacy beatdown and destruction of Batista’s arm last week, then Triple H’s return and yet another burial of Randy Orton.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Charlotte, North Carolina!  Matt Striker and Josh Matthews from ECW and Jim Ross and Todd Grisham from Smackdown are there too.  Justin Roberts introduces the first match, for the Intercontinental Championship!

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Jericho cuts his usual promo before the match.  Mysterio looks pissed.  I hope the belt doesn’t change, because I fucked up starting the timer.  Mysterio owns Jericho to start.  Mysterio crashes on the outside.  Commercials.  Jericho works over Mysterio and hits that swank spinning backbreaker drop from the PPV, then goes for the mask again.  Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip and dropkicks Jericho.  Mysterio hits the flying headscissors, then the Bombs Away for 2.  Jericho gets dropkicked out of the ring, they Rey hits a tope suicida.  Back inside, Jericho goes for a superplex, but Mysterio turns it into a sunset flip powerbomb for a slow 2 count.  Rey goes for his flip bulldog, but Jericho squashes him and gets 2.  Rey avoids the Walls.  Jericho avoids the 619 and thinks of going for one himself.  Rey catches him with a moonsault for 2.  Mysterio hits the 619 and goes for the West Coast Pop.  Jericho rips the mask and NAILS the Codebreaker for 3 at about 9 minutes.  Good match, a short, compact version of their recent PPV matches.

Tonight, a Four-Way Match for the vacant WWE Championship!  Mr. McMahon is NEXT!

Josh Matthews interviews Randy Orton.  John Cena steps in and takes over the interview.  Cena reminds Orton that he and Big Show are in the Four-Way tonight too, so don’t get too focused on Triple H.

Last week: Vickie Guerrero quit as Raw GM.

Vince McMahon appears on screen.  He says he’s not going to announce a new GM, because he sold Monday Night Raw!  He’ll announce who the new owner is after the WWE Championship match.

Moments ago: What I just wrote.  Cole and Lawler are SHOCKED.

ECW Championship Match: Tommy Dreamer (c) vs. Christian.  They start.  Christian hits a swank elbow shot from the middle rope.  Dreamer fires up with punches, then face plants Christian.  Dreamer hits a reverse DDT, then NAILS Christian with a lariat for 2.  Dreamer squashes a sunset flip attempt for 2, then Christian turns the cradle over for 2.  Christian avoids the DDT.  Dreamer avoids the Killswitch and gets an inside cradle for the win at 3:24.

Tonight, CM Punk defends the World Heavyweight Championship against Jeff Hardy and Edge!  Plus, Orton vs. Triple H vs. Cena vs. Show for the WWE Championship is NEXT!

Please, don’t try this at home!

The Bella Twins and Kelly Kelly have some airheaded speculation about who bought Raw.

ANOTHER replay of the shit from last week.  Do we really need to see it again?  Pics of Batista’s surgery.  Gross.

Fatal Four-Way Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena vs. Triple H.  Entrances, intros, and the going feuds pair off.  40 seconds in, we go to commercial.  Back, Cena and Triple H take out the heels, then go at it themselves.  Cena goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Triple H hits the spinebuster.  Pedigree counter into an F-U attempt, but Show comes in and clotheslines them both.  Goes back to Cena vs. Show and HHH vs. Orton.  Orton comes in to break a Show’s cover.  Show goes for a double chokeslam on Triple H and Cena, but they suplex him.  Orton tries to put Show, but Show catches his foot, then kicks his ass.  Show dominates for a bit and tosses Orton and HHH from the ring.  Show slams Cena and hits the Vader Bomb, but Orton breaks the cover.  Show tosses Orton out of the ring again.  Show spears the shit out of Triple H for 2.  Triple H avoids the Vader Bomb.  Orton tries to RKO Show, but gets tossed away.  Pedigree to Show.  Attitude Adjustment to Triple H.  Cena covers Triple H, but gets tossed off the cover.  Attutude Adjustment to Show.  Orton brekas the cover and tosses Cean out.  Orton RKOs Show for the win at 11:14.  Lame at first, but the closing stretch was good.  Orton is champ again.  What was the fucking point of Batista winning the belt in the first place?

Mr. McMahon is headed our way!

Tomorrow night on ECW: Evan Bourne vs. Mark Henry!

Vince comes down and announces that Donald Trump is the new owner of Raw.  Trump appears on the big screen and says next week’s Raw will be commercial free, and he’ll be there to oversee it.  Vince says that he’s still in charge tonight, and there will be a 10 man battle royal to determine who will face Randy Orton for the title at The Bash.

World Title match is next!

Replay of what just happened.  Cole and Lawler discuss it.

Mickie James vs. Rosa Mendez.  Beth comes out with Rosa, but Rosa tells her to leave.  The Divas Champion Maryse comes down to watch.  Rosa shows a lot of fire, but Mickie fights back and wins with the DDT at 2:50.  Maryse teases coming in the ring, then bails.

Goldust and Hornswoggle shoot t-shirts out to the crowd.  The Miz in anti-Cena garb, says he’s the new face of Raw, he’ll win the battle royal, speak in a British accent, etc.  He tells Goldust and Hornswoggle to leave.  Goldust tells Miz he doesn’t know how to play mind games, and makes an Ahmed Johnson reference!  Goldust tells Miz his interviews are piss break segments and that he’s a loser.  Miz retorts, then cheapshots Goldust and drops him with a DDT.  He threatens Hornswoggle with the t-shirt bazooka, then shoots him in the balls with it.  Now that’s a heel, folks.  Only a true bad guy would shoot a midget in the balls with a t-shirt gun.

World Title match is NEXT!  Wasn’t it supposed to be like 20 minutes ago?

Stills from the Hardy/Edge/Punk stuff from the PPV.

Josh Matthews interviews the World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk.  Punk has “MISAWA” written on his wrist tape.  That’s a nice touch.  Matt Hardy interrupts and tells him he approves of what he did.  Punk tells Matt he’s never been World Champion.

Edge and Hardy enter for the title match.  Commercials!  Next, Donald Trump on a commercial-free Raw!

Triple Threat Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. Edge vs. Jeff Hardy.  Within the first 90 seconds, Punk hits a tope suicida on Edge, then Hardy hits a dive outside onto both of them.  Punk and Jeff go at it in the ring for a minute, then Edge comes in and tosses Jeff out.  Edge sets up a superplex, but Jeff comes in and drops Edge, then tries to deliver it himself.  Edge sets up a Doomsday Device, but Hardy dodges Punk’s dropkick and gets a near fall on Edge with a victory roll.  Triple clothesline spot as we go to break.  Back from break, Punk works over Edge as Jeff is on the outside.  Jeff comes in, so Punk nails them both.  He covers them both after the corner bulldog/something to Jeff spot,  but both kick out.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep on Jeff, but Edge chop blocks his knee and applies the Sharpshooter.  It gets broken somehow.  Punk leapfrogs a spear and gets a sunset flip on Edge, when Hardy dropkicks Edge in to, then breaks the cover.  Jeff does some stuff and gets 2 on Punk.  Punk nails Hardy with a knee to the face.  Jeff goes up for the Swanton, but Edge pushes him off and tries to spear Punk.  Punk catches him with a powerslam for 2.  Edge avoids the Go 2 Sleep and pushes Punk into Hardy.  Punk reversed the Twist of Fate into a Go 2 Sleep attempt.  Hardy escapes and leap frogs another spear, so Edge ends up spearing the shit out of Hardy.  Punk gets knocked out of the ring by Edge and injures his knee on the steps.  Officials check on Punk as Edge and Hardy hit a double cross body on each other.  Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind, but Punk makes it in to break the cover.  Hardy kicks the shit out of Punk’s leg.  Edge gets an inside cradle on Hardy for a close 2.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb, but Punk pulls him off the cover.  Punk sends Hardy into the ring steps and covers Edge for the win at 15:40.  Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long comes out and tells Punk he’ll defend the title against Jeff Hardy at the Bash.

Earlier tonight: Orton wins the belt.  Later tonight: a 10 man battle royal!

Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase Jr. are at ringside to do commentary on this next match.

Non-Title: The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natayla) vs. Unified WWE Tag Team Champions Carlito & Primo Colon.  Colons will defend against Legacy at The Bash.  Primo and Smith start.  Primo tries to do a rana and lands on his head.  Ouch.  After a minute, Carlito tags in.  Primo hits a dive to the outside on Tyson Kidd.  Carlito hits the Backstabber on Smith, then Legacy runs in to cause the DQ at 2:23.  Legacy stands tall with their new awful music.  I was expecting a good match here, but it got cut way short.

Triple H is headed our way for the 10-man battle royal!

Replay of the Trump shit again.

Santino Marella seeks assurance from Vince that he and his “sister” will still have their jobs.  Vince tells him Trump will do whatever he wants.  Vince’s cell phone rings.  It’s Donald Trump.  Trump wants to make a big announcement after the battle royal.  Santino pisses off Vince and leaves.  Vince calls him a pervert.

Most of the entries for the battle royal come out.  Break, then they show a graphic for 2 matches for Smackdown, which Ross says is wrong.  FAIL.  The last 2 entrants come out so we can have our match.  Triple H enters to his rarely used King of Kings theme, which is awesome.

Battle Royal to determine the #1 Contender to the WWE Championship:
Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Matt Hardy vs. William Regal vs. WWE United States Champion Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz vs. The Big Show vs. Triple H vs. John Cena.  Everybody brawls.  Orton comes out to watch.  Show tosses Matt for the first elimination 3 1/2 minutes in.  MVP lands the Yakuza kick on Show, then gets eliminated by him.  Show chokeslams Miz.  Everyone eliminates Show.  Miz is on the outside, but I don’t think he was eliminated.  Break.  Legacy almost dumps Triple H, but fails, thanks to Cena attacking Legacy.  Cena and Triple H ends up going at it.  Legacy stops them briefly, then the double clothesline each other.  Kofi has an impressive run against Legacy, but they eliminate him.  Regal kicks their ass, but they dump him too.  Down to Legacy, Triple H, and Cena.  Cena makes a big comeback against Legacy.  He eliminates Dibiase, then tosses Rhodes, who hangs on.  Triple H eliminates Rhodes.  Triple H Pedigrees Cena.  Legacy runs back in and beat down Triple H until the refs make them leave.  Miz sneaks back and charges them, but gets lowbridged out.  Triple H dumps Cena to win at 17:39.  Fuck, now we get to suffer another Triple H/Orton abortion.

Donald Trump appears on the screen and congratulations Triple H.  He tells him the title match won’t be at the PPV, but on next week’s commercial-free Raw in a Last Man Standing Match.  FUCK.

WWE ECW 6/9/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then highlights of Tommy Dreamer winning the ECW Championship in a Triple Threat Match against Christian and Jack Swagger this past Sunday at Extreme Rules.  ECW open.

Pyro and ballyhoo, then Matt Striker and Josh Matthews welcome us to Biloxi, Mississippi.

Tony Chimel introduces the ECW GM, Tiffany, who in turn introduces the NEW ECW Champion, Tommy Dreamer, who, since he is the champion, gets a new contract.  He says a few kind words, then as he gets ready to sign on the dotted line, Christian comes down with a box of tissue.  Christian is angry that Swagger got pinned, costing Christian his title.  He says that he will regain the title when he gets his rematch, then shakes Dreamer’s hand.  Tommy again tries to put pen to paper, but Jack Swagger interrupts.  He wants Christian to go to the board of directors with him and have Dreamer stripped of the title because he things the one day extension on Dreamer’s contract wasn’t valid.  Christian teases agreeing, then he decks Swagger and he and Dreamer send him out of the ring.  Dreamer finally signs his contract, but as he celebrates, Christian powerbombs him through the table that was set up in the ring.  That was mean.

How will this SHOCKING turn of events affect our main event tonight, in which Dreamer & Christian are scheduled to take on the Hart Dynasty?  Commercials!

This Monday: The 3-For-All!

Tiffany is talking to some guys backstage who knocked some shit over.  Christian shows up and Tiffany tells him he took out Dreamer, so now he has to tag with Swagger.

Tony Atlas (w/ Mark Henry) vs. Evan Bourne.  Atlas is still jacked, but old and immobile.  Bourne bumps for him and practically wrestles himself.  Atlas decides to try a little bit and takes a bump or two.  Bourne wins with the Shooting Star press at 3:14.  Henry jumps Bourne and hits the World’s Strongest Slam after the match.

Striker and Matthews reaffirm that the main even tonight is now Christian & Swagger vs. The Hart Dynasty.  Commercials!, including an awesome Extreme Rules highlights video.

Handicap Match: Vladimir Kozlov vs. Luke Hawx & Chris Lewie.  Kozlov destroys the jobbers with extreme prejudice and pins Lewie at 1:33 with his move.

Christian and Swagger bicker in the locker room.  Commercials!

“Last night on Raw…” segment.  Striker and Matthews then announce that Monday night on Raw, there will be a four-way match between Randy Orton, John Cena, Triple H, and Big Show for the vacant WWE Championship.  Plus, Tommy Dreamer will defend the ECW Championship against Christian.

The Hart Founda…. er, Dynasty, comes out for the main event.  Natalya says her boys will beat the two former ECW Champions.  Commercials!

The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya) vs. Christian & Jack Swagger.  Harts take turns working over Christian to start.  Christian counters Kidd and tags in Swagger.  Swagger has a brief exchange with Kidd, then shoves Christian to tag him back in.  Christian hits a missile dropkick on Kidd, the Swagger shoves him in a shot from Kidd.  Harts start to work over Christian again as we take our final commercial break!  Back from break, Christian plays face in peril.  I guess he has to, since he’s the only face in the match.  Swagger calls for the tag, but fakes out.  Christian slaps him.  Shouldn’t that count as a tag?  Awesome sequence between Christian and Smith.  Kidd tags in and almost takes the Killswitch, but counters it.  Another great sequence between Christian and Kidd.  Christian gets a near fall with his reverse DDT. then Swagger double crosses him.  Shock shock.  Smith pins Christian after the Hart Attack at 11:26.  Really good match.  Swagger and the Hart Dynasty commence to beat down Christian, but Tommy Dreamer runs down with a Singapore can to make the save, even though Christian powerbombed him through a table earlier in the show.  Dreamer’s music plays, fade to black…

WWE Extreme Rules 2009 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, followed by the PPV intro video.  Michael Cole welcomes us to the show as Lillian Garcia introduces the first match.

Fatal Four-Way Match for WWE United States Championship: Kofi Kingston (c) vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  Cole and Lawler are on commentary, and put over Kingston beating MVP for the title this past Monday on Raw.  Typical double team/pair off and brawl stuff early on.  Kofi is awesome.  Cole gets in his “Controlled Frenzy” for the night.  Regal beats the shit out of Kingston, which is always good stuff.  Regal sets up a butterfly suplex on Kofi.  MVP tries to turn it into a Tower of Doom spot, but they botch it.  Kofi and Regal still take the bump, though.  Hardy comes in fresh after staying outside for a bit and tries to pin everyone.  Everyone kicks out.  Matt sets up the Twist of Fate on MVP, but Kofi gets back in the action and punishes Regal and Hardy.  Regal counters the Trouble In Paradise and T-bones Kofi right into Hardy, which Kofi uses to get a near fall.  The match turns into everybody hitting big moves and covering, then someone else breaking up the cover.  Regal hits Exploders on everyone until Kingston catches him the Trouble In Paradise for the pin at 6:42.  Short, but fun and exciting match, and a good way to kick off the show.

Josh Matthews interviews The Big Show, who says John Cena can’t put him in the STF.

Jim Ross and Todd Grisham talk about the recent issues between Chris Jericho and Rey Mysterio.  Justin Roberts is in the ring to introduce the match.  He introduces Jericho, but Jericho doesn’t come out.  He’s in the merchanidise stand bitching about Mysterio’s merchanidise.  He comes down to the ring through the crowd, talking the whole way.  Mysterio comes out, so now we can have our match.  Ross says that Mysterio is the first masked Intercontinental Champion.  Kane says hello.

No Holds Barred Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship:
Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Chris Jericho.  Mysterio jumps Jericho at the bell and kicks his ass all around the ringside area.  Rey hits a sweet rana off the apron and takes the match in the ring.  Jericho gets the advantage and holds it until Mysterio counters his springboard dropkick to the apron.  Rey hits a 619 around the ringpost to send Jericho off the apron and hits a diving splash on to him.  Back in the ring. Jericho avoids the 619.  Rey gets a front cradle for a near fall.  Jericho rolls it back for one of his own.  Rey rolls through a sunset flip attempt and tries a dropkick, but Jericho catches and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Rey turns it into a inside cradle, but can’t get the pin.  Jericho gets the advantage and goes for Rey’s mask.  Rey escapes, then avoids a charging Jericho, who spears the ring post and goes outside.  Rey hits a tope suicida.  Rey does his Speedy Gonzales routine back in the ring.  Jericho avoids the 619 again and does a swank spinning backbreaker for a near fall.  Rey avoids the Lionsault and hits the 619.  He goes for a diving something or other, but Jericho catches him with the Codebreaker for a very near fall.  Jericho brings a chair into the ring, but Mysterio dropkicks into his face and covers for a near fall.  Mysterio hits a leg drop with the chair for another near fall, then sets the chair up in the corner and hits a drop toehold onto it.  Mysterio uses the chair as a springboard for a Frankensteiner, but Jericho turns it into the Walls of Jericho.  Mysterio nails him with the chair and goes for the 619, but Jericho manages to yank his mask off.  Mysterio desperately covers his face and allows himself to be pinned with a schoolboy in 14:40, even though anyone who watched WCW from 1999 to 2001 has seen his face.  Jericho wins the Intercontinental Title for the unprecendented 9th time.  Good match.

Randy Savage DVD available this Tuesday!

New Orleans!

Josh Matthews interviews Batista.  Actually, they show the video of Randy Orton killing Ric Flair, then Batista comments on it.  He’s going to do various nasty things to Orton tonight.

Samoan Strap Match: Umaga vs. CM Punk. They show Umaga killing Punk on Smackdown a few weeks ago.  You win here by touching all four corners in succession… secession?  You know what I mean.  Umaga whips Punk with the strap and punishes him in various other nasty ways.  How the hell do you do PBP on a Strap Match?  “He whips the other guy, he uses the strap to hold the other guy back…”  Punk fights back and goes for the Go 2 Sleep, but doesn’t get it.  They both get near falls (I.E. touching 3 turnbuckles but being prevented from touching the fourth.  Umaga goes for the diving splash, but Punk uses the strap to pull him off the top rope.   Punk touches 3 corners, hits the Go 2 Sleep, and touches the fourth for the win at 8:58.  Meh.  Strap matches are kind of a stupid gimmick.

New Orleans again!

Matt Striker and Josh Matthews are ready to announce the ECW Championship match!

Gregory Helms interviews the ECW Champion, Christian.  Christian says he’s going to miss Tommy Dreamer, because he’s not losing his title.  Dreamer comes up and says Christian will indeed be losing the title.  Jack Swagger steps in to say his bit, but Dreamer and Christian leave.  Cut to Tony Chimel who is in the ring to introduce the match.

Triple Threat Hardcore Match for the ECW Championship: Christian (c) vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger.  They get in-ring introductions.  They brawl a bit, then Christian and Dreamer bring the plunder in.  Dreamer utilizes the Singapore cane to great effect.  Dreamer is in his element here, and shows why he is called the Innovator of Violence.  Swagger finally gets the advantage on Dreamer and tries to superplex him into a pile of trashcans.  Christian comes in and adds a powerbomb to the equation.  I guess they had to do it since the guys in the four-way fucked up the Tower of Doom spot.  Christian ducks a crutch shot from Swagger and goes for the Killswitch.  Swagger counters and goes for the Doctor Bomb.  Dreamer nails Swagger with the crutch to break it, then bashes him with it again and hits a DDT.  Dreamer covers and gets the pin on Swagger at 9:37 to WIN THE ECW CHAMPIONSHIP!  With no Justin Credible to fuck up the moment. Tommy Dreamer finally gets to enjoy capturing the ECW Championship.  That’s my feel good markout moment of the night.

Chavo Guerrero prepare Vickie for her defense of the Miss WrestleMania crown.  Michael Cole talks about it for a bit, then throws it to Jerry Lawler, who is with the pigs.  “Santina” comes out, followed by Vickie, who says she’s making the match a Handicap Match.  A less than delighted Chavo will be her partner.

Handicap Hog Pen Match for the Miss WrestleMania Crown: Vickie Guerrero (c) & Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Santina Marella.  Vickie sends Chavo in to fight while she stays outside in her gown.  Santina and Chavo fight in the muck.  Santina throws Chavo into the pen with the hogs.  Shouldn’t the match be over?  I guess it’s pinfall only.  Santina schoolgirls Chavo for a near fall.  Chavo beats down Santina and tags in Vickie.  Santina tries to slop her, but Chavo jumps him and tries to slop him.  He misses and slops Vickie.  Santina slops Chavo, then pins Vickie for the win at 2:43 to become Miss WrestleMania again.  Gross.  -50 stars.

SummerSlam, August 23 on PPV!

Orton/Batista video package.

Chavo and Vickie walk backstage while everyone in the vicinity holds their nose.  Goldust and Hornswoggle show up to bring the comedy, then run away from the smell.  They find Edge in Vickie’s office.  Vickie tells Edge he’s on his own tonight.  Edge says he wants a divorce.  Poor Vickie.  Divorces are no fun at all, and I don’t imagine being covered in pig shit is either.

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Batista.  In-ring intros, and we’re off!  Orton tries to escape immediately, but Batista stops him and goes to work kicking his ass.  Orton avoids a charge and tries to escape again.  Rinse, repeat.  Orton counters the Batista Bomb and tries to escape again, but then decided to go for the punt instead.  Batista avoids it.  Orton avoids the Batista Bomb again.  Batista avoids the RKO.  Batista hits the Batista Bomb for the pin at 7:03.  Seriously?  That’s it?  Ah well, at least it was too short to suck.  Fun fact: this is the first time the WWE Championship has changed hands in a Steel Cage match.

Show/Cena video package.

Submission Match:
The Big Show vs. John Cena.  The whole basis of this match is that Show is too big for Cena to put in the STF.  Of course, he goes for it in the first minute and fails.  Of all the Cena/Show matches… this is one of them.  Same old shit, except with more sleeper holds.  About 10 minutes in, Cena avoids the Vader Bomb and tries to slam Show.  Show lands on top and hugs Cena, which is apparently a submission hold.  Show beats up Cena some more and locks in an abdominal stretch.  Cena counters a chokeslam attempt with a DDT and tries the STF again.  He still doesn’t get it.  Show locks in a bearhug.  Cena escapes and drops Show with a neckbreaker.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Show goes for the chokeslam, but Cena avoids it and hits the Attitude Adjustment.  STF fails again.  Show lands the KO punch and knocks Cena out of the ring.  Show goes out and picks him him, but Cena slips off and sends Show into the ring post.  Back in the ring, Cena misses a diving leg drop, then props up one of show’s legs against the ropes and locks in a crossface.  The leg doesn’t stay.  Show submits to this half assed STF at 19:05, even though Show’s feet were under the ropes.  Fucking retarded.

Edge/Hardy video package.

Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship:
Edge (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  In-ring intros.  There are dozens of ladders placed around the ring.  First ouch moment comes 3 minutes in when Jeff backdrops Edge out of the ring and chest first onto a ladder.  Jeff makes the first attempt to climb up to the big gold belt, but Edge stops him, then drops him painfully on the ladder.  That’s one cheap aluminum ladder ruined.  Edge brings in another and sets it in a corner.  Jeff avoids a charging Edge, who spears the ladder.  Match goes on.  Edge creatively sandwiches Jeff in the ladder and locks in a Sharpshooter.  Later, Edge takes a painful front suplex into an open ladder.  Lots of creative painful looking things in this match.  Hardy brings in a really tall ladder.  He hits the Twist of Fate, then goes up the tall ladder with the intent of diving off.  Edge moves out of the way.  The ladder falls over but Jeff grabs hold of the belt.  Edge pulls him down before Jeff can take the belt down.  Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind off the ladder.  The carnage continues.  They take a huge bump off a ladder at ringside through another one set up on the ring apron and guardrail.  Back in the ring, Hardy climbs for the belt.  Edge climbs another ladder and tries to spear Hardy, but gets caught with a neckbreaker in mid air.  Hardy goes for the gold again.  Edge climbs up the other side and punches Hardy down.  Hardy pulls Edge’s legs through the ladder to trap him.  Edge can do nothing but look on as Hardy pulls the belt down and becomes World Heavyweight Champion at 20:06.  Pretty damn good ladder match.

But wait, it’s not over!  CM Punk comes down and cashes in the Money In The Bank contract!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. CM Punk.  Punk hits the Go 2 Sleep for the 1, 2, HARDY KICKS OUT!  Punk can’t believe it.  Hardy gets a quick inside cradle, but Punk kicks out.  Punk nails a big kick and hits the Go 2 Sleep again and pins Hardy to win the title at 1:02.  PUNK IS WORLD CHAMPION!

Pretty good show for the most part.  Punk and Dreamer winning the gold makes me happy.

WWE Superstars 6/4/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro, then Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to Superstars!  Tonight, Jeff Hardy & R-Truth take on Chris Jericho & Dolph Ziggler!  But first…

Goldust & Hornswoggle vs. Brian Kendrick & Jamie Noble.  If there was any justice in this world, Kendrick and Noble would be a top tag team, because they’re both awesome.  Unfortunately, they’re just here to job to the freak family.  Hornswoggle puts on Kendrick’s ring jacket and parades around in it while Goldust starts the match.  Goldust gets the better of Noble, so Kendrick tags in the show him how it’s done and gets the his arm punished.  Hornswoggle tags in and gets beat up by Kendrick.  Noble is reluctant to beat up Hornswoggle, so Kendrick continues to bully him.  Hornswoggle makes a comeback and makes the hot tag.  Obligatory “Vintage Goldust” line from Cole.  Goldust suplexes an interfering Noble out of the ring.  Kendrick goes for the Kendrick, but Goldust hits the the spinning brainbuster (I forget what he calls it) and tags in Hornswoggle, who hits the tadpole splash on Kendrick for the win at 3:40.  Fun little match, I guess.

John Cena/Big Show video package, then commercials.

Back from break, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews, and the ECW Champion, Christian, are at the commentary table.

David Hart Smith (w/ Tyson Kidd & Natalya) vs. Tommy Dreamer.  Smith controls early.  Tommy gets a quick schoolboy, then nails Smith in the face and starts to build momentum with some unorthodox offense.  Smith starts to get the better of it on the outside, but he takes his eyes off the ball to look at Christian, which allows Tommy to dive off the apron and nail him as we go to commercial!  I try to sneak a quick restroom break, and when I come back Smith has the advantage.  Dreamer fights back and applies the Texas Cloverleaf, which is incorrectly identified by the announcers as a Sharpshooter.  Christian accidentally provides the distraction for Tyson Kidd to interfere with a kick to Dreamer, which allows Smith to get the pin at 8:45.  Commercials.

Jim Ross and Todd Grisham take over commentary duties.  They introduces a Jeff Hardy/Edge video package, then pimp the rest of the Extreme Rules card.

Chris Jericho comes down for the main event, but first cuts a promo on Rey Mysterio.  Commercials!

Chris Jericho & Dolph Ziggler vs. Jeff Hardy & R-Truth.  Ziggler gets the better of Hardy on the opening exchange.  Jeff fights back, but Jericho attacks him from behind and sends him into the guardrail to let the bad guys get the advantage.  Lukewarm tag to R-Truth, he comes in against Jericho.  He’s fired up to start, but gets taken down as we take what is hopefully our final commercial break.  We come back to Truth playing face in peril.  He takes the beating for a while, then makes the hot tag to Hardy, who hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb on Ziggler for the win at 11:36.

Fun show.  Should I punish myself by watching Impact now?