Archive for Earl Hebner

TNA iMPACT! 9/16/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

Kurt Angle/Jeff Hardy highlight video.

“One More Time”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy are already in the ring.  Eric Bischoff and Miss Tessmacher come out.  Bischoff puts over Mr. Anderson for making it to the final of the World Title tournament at Bound For Glory.  He puts over the Angle/Hardy match, which apparently everybody but me thought was great.  He says it will be a three-way match for the title at the PPV.  Dixie Carter comes out.  She also verbally fellates them for the match, then says she’s going to override Bischoff’s decision and put Angle and Hardy in a no time limit match tonight.  Her music plays.  Why does this woman deserve music?

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is pissed off.  He says he’s going to talk to Bischoff.  He meets and greets Kevin Nash and Sting.

Somebody asks Tommy Dreamer where EV2.0 goes from here.  He says “maybe home.”  Why do people always bother Dreamer when he’s going to his car?

Kevin Nash (w/ Sting) vs. Samoa Joe (w/ Jeff Jarrett).  Nash beats up Joe.  Joe ducks clotheslines and drops Nash with a big kick, then hits him with a lariat.  Joe kicks the shit out of Nash some more.  Outside, Nash rams Joe’s head into the apron.  Joe fights back.  Sting tries to attack Joe.  Jarrett saves and the 4 of them brawl.  Instead of DQ’ing anyone like a ref with a brain would do, the referee counts them both out in 2:42.  They all brawl some more.  Geeks eventually manage to break them up.  I’m bored with this feud.  They keep brawling through all the geeks.

Lacey Von Erich is in her locker room.  Madison Rayne and Tara come in.  Rayne tells Lacey they have a Tag title match next.  Lacey says she hasn’t decided whose side she’s on, which pisses Rayne off.  Rayne and Tara are mean to her.

Tonight, Angle vs. Hardy!  Next, Williams vs. Lethal for the X Title!

Kevin Nash and Sting talk backstage.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Douglas Williams (c) vs. Jay Lethal.  Lethal recently beat Williams in a non-title match on Xplosion, which no one anywhere has ever seen.  They brawl.  Williams hits a slam and a knee drop for 0.  Lethal hits a rebound kick in the corner.  They trade shots.  Williams hits a gutwrench suplex for 2.  More brawling.  Williams applies an abdominal stretch.  Williams hits a suplex for 2.  Lethal fights back.  Williams kicks his knee out and locks him a modified bow & arrow lock.  Williams knees Lethal in the back.  Lethal fights out of a waist lock.  Williams comes off the top, but Lethal catches him with a dropkick.  Lethal goes for the handspring elbow.  Williams counts and goes for the Chaos Theory, but Lethal counters and hits the Lethal Combination for 2.  Lethal goes for the diving elbow drop, but Williams avoids it.  Lethal counters a tornado DDT attempt and hits the Lethal Injection for the pin in 5:16.  New champion!  Confetti falls as Lethal celebrates.  Okay little match.

Abyss drags a body around backstage.  WTF?

Kurt Angle talks about Jeff Hardy.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Match: Taylor Wilde & Hamada (c) vs. Madison Rayne & Lacey Von Erich (w/ Tara).  Wilde schools Lacey and gets some quick cradles for 2.  Rayne yells at Lacey, who manages a hammerlock and a headlock, but gets reversed.  Hamada tags in and hits a diving sunset flip on Lacey for 2.  Rayne tags in and boots Hamada in the face, then tags Lacey back in.  Lacey hits her stupid backflip elbow, then tries it again and misses.  Hamada slams her and hits a moonsault press for 2.  Fuck, it’s not over?  Wilde tags in and hits a diving cross body on Lacey for 2.  Stay down, idiot!  I don’t want to watch you wrestle anymore.  Rayne pulls Wilde’s hair from the apron, then tags in and beats her up.  Rayne hits a crappy clothesline and tags in Lacey.  They hit a double suplex for 2.  Lacey applies a rear chin lock.  Wilde escapes and tags in Hamada, who hits Lacey with running kicks and a headbutt.  Wilde tags in and knocks Rayne off the apron.  Hamada and Wilde hit Lacey with a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combination and Wilde gets the pin in 4:03.  It was okay.  Rayne screams at Lacey.  Lacey tires of her shit and shoves her down.  Tara hits Lacey from behind with the motorcycle helmet.  The Beautiful People (the real ones, Angelina Love & Velvet Sky) come out to run off Rayne and Tara.

Tonight, Angle vs. Hardy!

Tommy Dreamer is head our way!  And he SUITED UP!

Jeff Hardy talks about Kurt Angle.

Tommy Dreamer comes out.  They show highlights from his I Quit Match with AJ Styles at No Surrender.  He calls out Fortune.  TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles, Ric Flair, Kazarian, Matt Morgan, and Beer Money come out.  Why must all TNA themes have awful rap lyrics?  Dreamer calls a truce and says it’s over.  He talks about how he wants to stay in TNA and talks about the Fortune members’ various histories with WWE and TNA.  He puts over Styles for beating him at the PPV.  Styles puts over Dreamer and they shake hands.  He then bashes Dreamer and cheap shots him.  Fortune commences to kicking the shit out Dreamer, much to the surprise of no one.  Brian Kendrick comes out to try to cover up Dreamer, but gets his ass kicked too.  Security, as usual, waits forever to come out.  Fire those guards and hire some competent ones.  Styles says now Dreamer can have his truce.  Well he won’t want it now!  Fortune leave.  Kendrick challenges any one of them to a fight and says some confusing scientific stuff.  Long, pointless segment.

Brian Kendrick vs. Matt Morgan.  JIP.  Morgan drops Kendrick with a clothesline, then gets around to taking his sunglasses off.  Morgan beats up Kendrick.  Morgan takes off his watch and hits the revolving elbows in the corner.  Morgan hits a fall away slam for 2, as he pulls Kendrick up to be a dick.  Kendrick surprises Morgan with a dropkick for the pin (2:06 shown).  Alright then.  Morgan says that doesn’t count because he was in a suit.  He’s throwing a fit.

The Pope walks into Bischoff’s office and finds Miss Tessmacher, who says Bischoff is in a meeting.  These fucks sure have their meetings at odd hours.  Pope is annoyed, then hits on Miss Tessmacher.  Ugh.

Tonight, HARDY VS. ANGLE!

Up next, RVD speaks!

House show plugs.

Abyss has 2 victims tied up in his torture room.  He uses a branding iron on one of them.  I hate this fucking company.

Tenay and Taz talk, then call Rob Van Dam on the telephone.  He says he’ll be there next week.

Generation Me come out.  They say that since they injured Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin should forfeit the tag titles to them.  They use way more words than I did.  TNA World Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin comes out and immediately attacks them.  He’s quickly overcome by the numbers game.  They give Sabin the DOUBLE DDT OF MURDER.  Fine segment.

Hardy vs. Angle is NEXT!

Shore!  I’m afraid to know what the fuck that is.  It’s coming on 10/7.  Joy.

Angle/Hardy highlight video.  Again.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Semifinal Rematch – No Time Limit: Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle.  They went 30 minutes at the PPV, so they’re putting them in a no time limit match with 11 minutes of TV time left.  Brilliant.  They lock up.  Angle pushes Hardy into the corner and gives a clean break.  They lock up again.  Hardy works Angle’s arm.  Angle counters and works Hardy’s arm.  Hardy gets a rope break.  Angle grabs a side headlock and scores a knockdown with a shoulder block, then takes Hardy over with another side headlock.  Hardy backs Angle into the corner and doesn’t give a clean break.  He’s a dick.  I can tell by the way his tweets are typed.  Hardy slide dropkicks Angle into the post.  Hardy brings Angle back inside and hits a front suplex for 2.  Hardy applies a rear chin lock.  Angle escapes and they trade blows.  Angle side steps Hardy and sends him to the floor, then hits him with a slingshot dive.  Ken Anderson comes out to join Tenay and Taz for commentary.  Insta-commercials.  Double clothesline spot.  Angle has a flurry of offense.  Hardy boots him in the face.  Angle hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Of course, the match is secondary to camera shots of Anderson talking.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate for 2.  Hardy goes up top, but Angle jumps up.  Hardy avoids him, but Angle hits a moonsault body block for 2.  Angle applies the ankle lock.  Hardy manages to escape and drops Angle with a kick.  Hardy goes up top and goes for the Swanton Bomb, but Angle gets his knees up.  Hardy covers for 2 anyway.  Hardy takes out the ref with the Whisper In The Wind.  Angle hits the Angle Slam.  Earl Hebner comes in to count 2.  Angle hits the Angle Slam again for 2.  Angle lands some punches on Hardy.  The show ends.  Fuck you, I’m not watching Reaction.  It was good until TNA stupidity set in.

Fuck this show.  Fuck this company.  They will never be successful.  Even if they hire someone competent to run things, too much damage has been done from them to ever be taken seriously.

TNA iMPACT! 8/5/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 7, 2010 by Grappleholic

The usual video package of recent goings on.

“There’s No Place Like Home”

iMPACT! open.  They don’t play that often.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.  Tonight, Rob Van Dam & Tommy Dreamer take on Abyss & Raven.  Taz promises surprises tonight.  That’s TNA for “letdown” and Russo for “swerve.”

Tommy Dreamer comes out and calls out Raven to explain himself.  Raven comes out to the stage.  Dreamer asks Raven why he turned on him last week.  Dreamer says his kids call Raven “Uncle Scotty.”  iMPACT! Zone mutants chant “Uncle Scotty.”  Raven is mad at Dreamer for stealing his woman.  Yes, they’re playing off a feud that started in another company 15 years ago.  Raven says Dreamer’s kids should be calling him “daddy.”  Raven says he’s going to cripple Dreamer and nail his woman.  Dreamer goes up the ramp and kicks Raven’s ass.  Abyss jumps Dreamer and tries to chokeslam him off the stage.  Rob Van Dam makes the save with a steel chair.  Raven DDTs Dreamer on the stage.  Mick Foley appears and hits Raven in the gut with a barbed wire bat.  Foley says he’s going to referee their match at Hard(core) Justice.

Tenay and Taz run down what’s on tap for TONIGHT!

The Beautiful People put the Knockouts Tag Team Championship on the line NEXT!  Commercials.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Match: The Beautiful People of Velvet Sky & Lacey Von Erich (c) vs. Taylor Wilde & Hamada.  Yay, Hamada is back!  Lacey shows her ass to Wilde, so Wilde schoolgirls her for 0.  They do some shit.  Hamada tags in and does as well as she can with rocks for brains Lacey.  Lacey nails a kick for 2.  In WWE, she’d be fired for having a jiggly ass.  Velvet comes in and works over Hamada.  BPs double team Hamada.  Lacey covers for 2.  Lacey does a back flip and misses an elbow.  She misses again.  Because she’s stupid.  Hamada lands some headbutts and tags in Wilde.  Wilde hits a German suplex hold and kind of loses her bridge.  Velvet saves.  Clusterfuck ensuses.  Do si do spot.  TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne and biker chick come out to distract every one.  BPs jump Wilde and Hamada.  Hamada and Velvet do some shit while Wilde and Lacey fight outside.  Velvet accidentally slaps the referee.  Hamada takes her outside.  Lacey and Wilde come in.  Biker chick hands Lacey a chair.  Wilde dropkicks it into her face for the pin in 4:17.  Even though this sucked, I’m glad Hamada is back, and even better, is a champion again!  Commercials.

TNA Television Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) (w/ Kazarian) vs. “The Freak” Rob Terry.  Earl Hebner ejects Kazarian before the match starts.  Terry clotheslines Styles and Kazarian both to the outside, press slams Styles back inside, then chases Kazarian to the back.  Styles tries a cheap shot, but Terry destroys him.  Terry throws Styles across the ring by the neck.  Styles throws some ineffective chops, then pokes Terry in the eye and shoves Hebner.  Styles grabs Hebner, then kicks Terry in the balls and lands the Pele kick.  Styles hits the springboard 450 splash for the pin in 2:49.  Neat little face big man vs. heel little man match.  Kazarian comes back out to celebrate with Styles.

Kurt Angle talks about his quest to go through the top 10.

Jay Lethal talks about his feud with Ric Flair while eating lunch.  They meet in a Street Fight TONIGHT!

Beer Money vs. Machine Guns in an Ultimate X Match is NEXT!

Hype for next week’s SUPER iMPACT! “The Whole F’N Show.”

Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne fight backstage while security tries to hold them apart.  Velvet accidentally KTFO’s Lacey in the process and shows concern.  It’d be hilarious if the bump to the head made her smarter.

Beer Money and The Motor City Machine Guns come out and Roode and Sabin cut promos on each other.  The match is next for real this time!  Commercials.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Best of 5 Series 4th – Ultimate X Match: The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Beer Money.  The Guns try to climb the structure immediately, but Beer Money cut them off.  Guns get their shine anyway.  Guns send Beer Money outside and hit dives on them.  Sabin goes for the win, but Storm cuts him off.  Guns double team Storm.  Shelley holds them both on a hold while Sabin climbs.  Beer Money cut him off again, but Shelley goes for it.  Beer Money hit him with the awesome catapult into a DDT.  Beer Money argue over who is going to climb.  Storm claims he’s been drinking, so Roode tries to climb.  Guns double team Storm and cut off Roode again.  Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick on Beer Money in the corner.  Shelley stands on Roode’s balls en route to climbing.  Storm hits a backdrop suplex on Sabin.  Beer Money pull Shelley down and go for the DWI.  He counters them and goes for the Shiranui on Roode.  He fails, but Storm hits a lung blower on Shelley.  Beer Money hit a double suplex.  BEER!  MONEY!  Roode is bleeding.  Beer Money send Sabin outside and double team Shelley.  Shelley hits Roode with an atomic drop off the top.  Roode goes for the X, but Shelley pulls him down and SPIKES him with a DDT.  Shelley jumps over Storm and hits Roode with a Ghetto Stomp.  Shelley gouges Roode’s eyes on the top rope, then goes for the X.  Storm pulls him down and hits a whirlybird neckbreaker.  Sabin coems back and in goes for the X.  Storm tries to cut him off, but Sabin hits a Frankensteiner off the top rope.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Sabin.  Storm tries to help Roode go for the prize.  Guns cut them both off.  “THIS IS AWESOME!” chant breaks out.  Shelley hits Storm with a Shiranui on the apron.  Fucking ouch.  Storm tries to hold onto the structure and walk the cable.  Sabin meets him in the middle.  Roode falls, crotches himself on the cable, and falls to the mat.  Sabin grabs the X to win it in 9:55.  The series is tied at 2-2.  Pretty good match.

Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Miss Tessmacher are headed our way!  Commercials.

Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Miss Tessmacher come out.  Bischoff talks about the card for next week’s special: Abyss vs. RVD for the World Title in a Stairway to Janice Match with Bischoff as the referee, Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money in the final of the series for the Tag titles, Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles, Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love for the Knockouts Title, Jeff Hardy’s open challenge, and Mr. Anderson vs. Matt Morgan vs. The Pope.  Kevin Nash comes out to bitch at them for whatever.  Hogan says they’re past their prime and it’s time for the young guys to shine.  If he would have had that thought 10 or 12 years ago, WCW may still be alive.  They talk about politics and whatever.  Nash quotes some movie and attacks Bichoff.  Hogan beats up Nash.  In 2010.  Nash kicks Hogan in the balls and knees him in the thigh a bunch.  Nash brings in a chair and teases powerbombing Hogan.  Bischoff tries to stop Nash, fails, but Nash decides not to anyway.  Nash prepares to hit Hogan with the chair, but Jeff Jarrett runs in and attacks Nash.  STING shows up (in Wolfpac face paint) and attacks Jarrett with the bat.  Nash clotheslines Jarrett with the bat and Sting clobbers Hogan with the chair.  Yay!  Commercials.

House show plugs.

Christy Hemme tries to talk to Sting and Kevin Nash, but they both blow her off.

Moments ago, all of that stuff a couple of lines up happened.

Orlando Jordan comes out being freaking with a lollipop.  He tries to put it So Cal Val’s mouth, but she escapes it this week.

Orlando Jordan vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  “POPE IS PIMPIN”! chants.  Jordan sucks on his finger and tries to touch Pope with it.  Pope shoves him away.  They lock up and do some mat wrestling.  Jordan grinds on Pope int he corner.  Pope kicks his ass.  Jordan catches Pope with a punch and grounds and pounds him.  Eric Young comes out and grabs some of the fake money that falls during Pope’s entrance.  This distracts Jordan for some reason.  Pope makes his comeback and hits the Elijah Express for the pin in 3:27.  Ugh.  Just… ugh.  Matt Morgan jumps Pope and lays him out.  Mr. Anderson runs out with a steel chair to run Morgan off.  Pope and Anderson argue.  Gunner and Murphy (the security geeks from last week) come out and threaten Anderson while the Pope just leaves.

Christy Hemme interviews Ric Flair.  Flair will be suspended if any member of Fortune interferes in his match tonight, but Flair is ready to go on his own.  Commercials.

Street Fight: Jay Lethal vs. Ric Flair.  Flair is SUITED UP! for the street fight.  Flair pokes Lethal in the eye and goes on the attack.  Flair hits Lethal in the balls and works his leg a bit.  Flair throws in some plunder.  Lethal goes under the ring, then surprises Flair with a springboard missile dropkick.  Lethal strips off Flair’s jacket and shirt and chops him.  Lethal hits a big backdrop, then hits him with a Singapore cane.  Lethal hammers Flair with chops and punches.  Flair is BUSTED WIDE OPEN and does a Flair flop.  TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams comes out for no apparent reason.  Flair gets hit with something and Flair does the flop again.  Flair gets his pants ripped to reveal ridiculous underwear.  Lethal whips Flair with his belt and throws Flair’s pants and sock to the crowd.  Flair his now in underwear, one sock, and one show.  Flair gets nailed with a trash can and does a third Flair flop.  Flair goes up top, but Lethal hits him with a metal cookie sheet and hits a superplex for 2.  Williams pulls Lethal out of the ring and gets nailed.  Lethal fucks up a diving sunset flip and pulls Flair’s drawers down.  Thankfully then pixelate Flair’s ass.  Williams nails Lethal with the belt behind the referee’s back.  Why the fuck do you need a referee distraction in a street fight?  Flair gets the pin in 6:41.  This was pretty fun.

Abyss & Raven are ready for action!  Commercials.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam, who has a hellish week ahead of him.  Jerry Lynn shows up and says he’ll be RVD’s opponent at the PPV.

Abyss & Raven vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam & Tommy Dreamer.  They brawl on the ramp before the match ever starts.  Abyss and Dreamer make it in the ring to start the match.  Dreamer hits Abyss from out of nowhere.  Dreamer suplexes RVD onto Abyss.  Raven chop blocks Dreamer’s knee.  Abyss squashes Dreamer in the corner.  It’s broken down into a tag match now.  Raven tags in and puts his snot rag in Dreamer’s face.  Raven works Dreamer’s face.  Ouch.  Abyss beats up Dreamer on the outside.  Raven covers for 2.  Abyss tags in and works over Dreamer.  Raven and RVD tag in.  RVD runs wild.  RVD kicks Abyss off the apron, then rams Raven’s head into the turnbuckle and hits the Rolling Thunder.  Abyss saves and tries to chokeslam RVD and Dreamer, but they clothesline him out of the ring.  Dreamer DDTs Raven.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash on Raven for the pin in 3:57.  That was a short main event, but fun while it lasted.

Abyss attacks RVD and Dreamer after the match.  Abyss chokeslams RVD, then tries to chokeslam Dreamer, but Stevie Richards makes the save.  He gets dropped, then Rhino makes the save and goes for the Gore, but Abyss drops him too.  Team 3D come out and go for the 3D, but Raven attacks them with a chair.  The lights go out and THE SANDMAN appears!  Sandman canes Raven, then canes the shit out of Abyss.  Mick Foley comes out and brings Al Snow, Pat Kenney, and Jerry Lynn with a cooler of beer.

Hardcore Justice hype video.

Hype video for next week’s special iMPACT!

This show was actually kind of fun.  I have no real complaints to make this week, so a good show by TNA standards.

TNA iMPACT! 7/22/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 27, 2010 by Grappleholic

Usual opening video package with recent goings on.

“Extreme Invitation”

Earlier today, Dixie Carter arrived!  Tonight she’ll explain WTF is going on!

iMPACT! open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Tonight, Kurt Angle vs. Hernandez and Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy!  Also, Dixie Carter explains shit!  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

TNA Global Championship Match: Rob Terry (c) vs. AJ Styles (w/ Kazarian).  Styles punches Terry in the abs and hurts his hand.  He kicks Terry’s leg, then dances around.  Terry knocks Styles down, then suffocates him in the corner with his shoulder.  Terry throws Styles across the ring.  Kazarian tries to help Styles and gets pulled into the ring.  Styles catches Terry with a kick and tries a springboard, but Terry press slams him.  Styles rocks Terry with an enzuigiri.  Terry mows Styles down with his big spin kick and covers, but Kazarian distracts the referee.  Terry argues with Kazarian.  Terry knocks Kazarian off the apron.  Styles schoolboys Terry for 2.  Terry tries to suplex Styles in from the apron, but Kazarian trips Terry and holds his legs down so Styles can get the pin in 3:05.  This wasn’t pretty.

Tenay and Taz talk.  They wonder if Mick Foley is involved with the ECW guys.  Isn’t that fairly obvious?

Madison Rayne and Sarita talk.  TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Velvet Sky & Lacey Von Erich come in to hear Rayne talk about Velvet’s ass, which despite Rayne’s claims, is excellent.  They bicker.

Dixie Carter bitches at agents, Terry Taylor, Pat Kenney, Al Snow, and D’Lo Brown.

TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love & Taylor Wilde vs. Madison Rayne & Sarita.  Before the match, Earl Hebner forces Love to get the title back to Rayne since there was no proof that the biker chick was a BP.  The faces jump the heels and kick their asses.  Love spears Sarita.  Wilde tags in and gets dropped immediately by her former partner.  Sarita hits a weird backdrop suplex.  Love and Rayne tags in and do stuff poorly.  Wilde sloppily attacks Sarita again.  Ryane goes for her move, but Love hits a Flatliner for the pin in 2:24.  This sucked.  The biker chick comes out, proving that it’s not Sarita.  The 3 of them attack the faces while Velvet and Lacey come out to watch and do nothing.  Rayne orders the other Beautiful People to come with her and motorcycle chick and Sarita.  Lacey does.  Velvet is like WTF?  So am I.  This shit is retarded.  Love and Velvet look at each other.

Angle vs. Hernandez NEXT!

Earlier tonight: Mick Foley, Tommy Dreamer, Raven, Rhino and Stevie Richards showed up.

Kurt Angle vs. Hernandez.  They lock up.  Hernandez backs Angle into the corner to show his superior power.  Angle takes Hernandez down and clamps on a front headlock.  Hernandez pushes him into a corner to break it.  Angle fires some European uppercuts, then backdrops Hernandez to the apron.  Hernandez hits a slingshot shoulder block.  Angle throws some punches, but Hernandez knocks him down again.  Hernandez locks in a Canadian backbreaker, then turns it into a drop for 2.  Angle fights back and hits his arm drag off the top rope for 2.  Angle hits the rolling Germans for 2.  Hernandez hits a Border Toss drop for 2.  Hernandez goes for it again, but Angle counters and hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Angle goes for his moonsault, but Hernandez avoids it and hits a big shoulder block.  Hernandez goes for a stalling suplex, but Angle counters it and locks in the ankle lock for the win in 6:01.  Pretty good little match.  Kevin Nash comes out.  He and Angle shake hands and hug as Angle leaves.  Nash calls out Jeff Jarrett.  Insta-commercials.

Jeff Jarrett comes out to meet Kevin Nash in the ring.  Nash says Jarrett almost convinced him that Sting “left a log in the punch bowl”.  He things Jarrett did whatever Sting got blamed for.  Jarrett doesn’t know what Nash is talking about.  Neither do I.  They talk about what the fuck ever.  Nash brings up Jarrett’s daughters and tells Jarrett to juggle in his sleep.  No clue WTF is going on here.

Dixie Carter is backstage.  Kurt Angle asks her WTF is going on.  She says it’s a good thing for TNA.  Angle says he trusts her.  Why?  She’s completely fucking incompetent.

Joe vs. Hardy is NEXT!

Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy.  Hardy goes outside the slap hands with fans while Tenay and Taz talk to Eric Bischoff on the phone.  DURING THE FUCKING MATCH.  Joe kicks Hardy’s ass.  Hardy fires back with corner punches when they finish their stupid phone call.  Hardy hits a snapmare and clamps on a rear chin lock.  Joe beats up Hardy some more.  Joe hits a big kick for 2.  Hardy fights back, but Joe hits the snap powerslam for 2.  Hardy makes his comeback with weak ass clotheslines and elbows.  Hardy hits a sleeper drop for 2.  Hardy comes off the top, but Joe catches him with a Manhattan drop.  Joe hits a senton splash for 2.  Joe hits the powerbomb into the STF into a crossface.  Hardy gets a rope break.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate.  Joe counters and goes for the Coquina Clutch, but Hardy runs him into the corner, then hits the Whisper In The Wind.  They trade blows.  It goes to a 10:00 time limit draw.  This kinda sucked.  Joe is awesome, but everything Hardy does looks like shit anymore.  Hardy takes off his shirt and they fight some more.  Referees break them up.  Tenay calls for a rematch.  I don’t want to see it.

Jeff Jarrett complains to Dixie Carter about Kevin Nash.  She wants Jarrett’s help with whatever the fuck is going on.

Next, Matt Morgan takes on Mr. Anderson.

Matt Morgan vs. Ken Anderson.  Anderson goes for cradles immediately, which is somewhat comical considering how tall Morgan is.  Anderson grabs a side headlock.  Morgan powers him into the corner.  Morgan puts the boots to Anderson in the corner.  Morgan hits the revolving elbows.  Taz gets in his “Vintage” dig of the night.  Morgan hits a Stinger Splash and a half assed side slam for 1.  Anderson fights back.  Morgan hits a fall away slam for 2.  Morgan hits some clotheslines.  He goes for the discus lariat, but Anderson counters and hits the Mic Check out of nowhere for the pin in 3:25.  This sucked.  Morgan hits Anderson with the special microphone after the match.  Anderson is laid out and BUSTED WIDE OPEN!

Live events plug.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Best of 5 Series 2nd – Street Fight: The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Beer Money.  The Guns are pissed off from last week, so they run to the ring and take the fight to Beer Money.  Everybody brawls at ringside.  Guns double team Roode on the ramp.  Sabin runs down the ramp to hit an awesome hesitation dropkick.  Shelley hits something for 2 on the outside.  Guns finally make it into the ring.  Sabin goes for a tope suicida on Roode, but gets hit in the face with a chair.  Ouch.  Roode attacks Shelley’s leg with the chair.  Beer Money beat up Shelley in the ring.  Shelley hits Roode with a Complete Shot into a chair wedged in the turnbuckles.  Storm hits something on Shelley for 2.  Sabin makes it back in and springboard dropkicks a chair into Roode’s face for 2.  Shelley goes for a dive on Storm, but Storm avoids it.  Sabin goes for the Cradle Shock on Roode, but Storm spits beer in his face.  Roode hits the spinebuster on Sabin for 2.  Beer Money set up a double team, but Shelley makes the save with a Singapore cane.  Stuff happens, then there’s a ref bump.  Sabin hits Roode with a trash can.  Sabin accidentally hits a baseball slide dropkick on the other ref.  Beer Money go for a double superplex on Shelley, but Sabin saves.  Guns hit the Made In Detroit on Roode, but there’s no referee.  Storm hits Shelley with a beer bottle and puts Roode on top of him.  Storm superkicks Sabin.  Roode gets the pin in Shelley in 6:43.  Good little match.  I think these two teams are incapable of having a bad match.

Team 3D talk backstage.  Devon is pro-ECW faction, Ray is anti-ECW faction.  Weird.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam.  He talks about the ECW stuff.

Tenay and Taz wonder what Dixie Carter is going to say.  How about you just get her the fuck out there to explain it?

Recap video of the whole ECW business.

Dixie is headed our way!

Dixie Carter comes out.  She actually has music and shit.  She says TNA has the best fans in the world.  That is an outright lie.  Most loyal?  Yes.  Mutant lunatics?  Yes.  I guess it depends on your idea of “best.”  She calls for the ECW guys to come out.  Dreamer, Foley, Raven, Rhino, and Richards come out.  Foley talks about Dixie cutting her first promo.  She puts them over and what the fuck ever.  Foley puts over Dreamer, then allows him to talk.  Dreamer cuts a typical Dreamer promo and cries typical Dreamer tears.  Dreamer begs Dixie for another one night stand… as in a PPV, not the kind of one night stand I’d rather have with Dixie.  Dixie agrees and gives them complete control.  Crowd chants “SABU!”  Dreamer says “We’re going extreme.”  End of show.  As much as I wanted to hate this segment, it was pretty good.

The Guns/Beer Money match, Angle/Hernandez, and the final segment were good.  Besides that, this show sucked balls.

TNA iMPACT! 7/15/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

Victory Road highlight video.

“They’re Here?”

Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  They announce some matches way too fast to process.  I assume Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Updated top 10 Contenders: #10 TNA Global Champion Rob Terry, #9 The Pope, #8 Kurt Angle, #7 Hernandez, #6 AJ Styles, #5 Jay Lethal, #4 Samoa Joe, #3 Mr. Anderson, #2 Jeff Hardy, #1 Abyss.  They went through that so fast I had to rewind it once.

Abyss comes out carrying some raw meat and his nail board.  He talks about RVD and “they.”  He says later tonight he’ll tell RVD about the plan when gets the final details from “them.”  He talks about his girlfriend Janice… the nail board.  He hits the meat with the nail board, then bites it.  Gross.  And probably dangerous.  Retarded segment.

Sarita and Taylor Wilde are brawling backstage.  They keep brawling for a long time.  They’re having a street fight tonight.  Commercials.

Street Fight: Sarita vs. Taylor Wilde.  Wilde and Sarita brawl into the arena.  Wilde nails Sarita with a chair.  Sarita throws water on Wilde.  Sarita hides under the ring and jumps Wilde from behind.  Sarita tears up the floor mats, which for some reason have flames on the under side.  Sarita tries to slam Wilde onto the floor, but Wilde hits a facebuster on the padded section of the floor.  Wilde throws some kicks.  Sarita tries to get into the ring, but Wilde won’t let her.  Sarita finally manages to get the apron and tries to dive off, but Wilde throws a chair at her.  Wilde throws Sarita into the post and the barricade, then dropkicks her over the barricade.  Sarita chokes Wilde with somebody’s purse strap.  The referee stops a match that never technically started and gives Sarita the win.  Stupid crap.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam walks backstage and talks about Abyss.  Commercials.

Miss Tessmacher is in the office talking on the phone.  Kevin Nash walks in looking for Bischoff and Hogan, but they’re not there.  He asks to meet here later tonight, or something.

Non-Title “I Quit” Match: Brian Kendrick vs. TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams.  Kendrick goes on the attack.  Williams fights back.  Kendrick goes for his Cobra Clutch, but fails.  Williams kicks Kendrick in the thigh and tries to make him quit.  Repeat with a clothesline and a punch.  Williams applies a camel clutch.  The ref sticks the mic in Kendrick’s face every time he takes a bump.  Kendrick fights back.  Williams nails him with elbows.  Kendrick goes for a sleeper hold, but fails.  Kendrick chokes Williams with a boot in the corner.  Williams catapults Kendrick and applies a half crab hold.  Kendrick refuses to quit.  The referee makes Williams breaks the hold because Kendrick is in the ropes.  What’s he gonna do, DQ him?  I better not give Russo any ideas.  Williams hits suplexes.  Williams slaps Kendrick with his climbing gloves from Victory Road, then puts the glove on and hits a European uppercut, which has nothing to do with the hand.  Kendrick fights back and nails a flying knee.  Kendrick lands some dropkicks, then goes for the Cobra Clutch again.  Williams counters and goes for the Chaos Theory.  Kendrick counters and locks in the Cobra Clutch.  Williams quits in 4:55.  Another pretty stupid match.  A fucking non-title I Quit Match on free TV?  Are the building to a non-gimmick match at the next PPV?

Kevin Nash comes out and chokeslams Kendrick, just to remind us that TNA is the spiritual successor to WCW.  Nash babbles about what the fuck ever, then sets up Kendrick for the powerbomb.  Jeff Jarrett comes out and tells Nash to chill the fuck out.  They talk back and forth.  Nash says “There’s a lot of people that say I’m the best worker in this business.”  A lot of people = Nash, his mom, and his wife.  Nash says he and Jarrett have problems now.  I have no desire to find out where this is going.  Commercials.

ShopTNA.com!

Kevin Nash talks to the camera about Jeff Jarrett.

Non-Title Three-Way Match: Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea) vs. TNA Global Champion Rob Terry vs. Samoa Joe.  They show Desmond interfering in Joe & Terry’s match vs. Stylezarian at Victory Road.  Joe and Terry are both pissed off.  Brutus Magnus (WTF is he doing here?) joins Taz and Tenay on commentary.  Terry and Joe take out Wolfe, then brawl with each other.  Joe locks Terry in an ankle hold.  Wolfe breaks it.  Wolfe does his awesome arm takedown on Joe and sends him outside.  Wolfe beats up Terry, then takes his eye off the fucking ball again to bitch at Chelsea.  Joe comes back in and Wolfe sends him out again.  Wolfe works Terry’s leg.  Joe makes it to the apron and Terry kicks Wolfe into him to knock him off again.  Terry makes his comeback on Desmond.  Terry hits his big kick.  Joe comes back in and hits a diving knee strike to drop Terry.  Joe locks Wolfe in the Coquina Clutch for the submission win in 4:17.  This was lame, which is disappointing.  Joe and Terry face off, then show respect.  Joe leaves.

Up next, The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money in a Ladder Match, the first match of a Best of Five Series for the TNA World Tag Team Championship!  Commercials.

Ric Flair announces to the camera guy that he’s going to make an announcement tonight.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Best of 5 Series 1st – Ladder Match: Beer Money vs. The Motor City Machine Guns (c).  The prize is an open contract for a match stipulation.  Beer Money jump the guns from behind.  Storm throws Sabin out of the ring, then they double team Shelley.  They go for the double suplex, but Sabin saves Shelley.  Guns hit double dropkicks to send Beer Money outside, then hit double tope suicidas to the floor.  Guns bring in a ladder.  Sabin climbs for the prize, but gets cut off.  Guns whip Roode into the ladder, then splash against him a bunch.  Sabin accidentally elbows the ladder.  Beer Money beat up Shelley, then hip toss Sabin balls-first into the ladder.  Storm climbs the ladder, but Shelley cuts him off.  Roode climbs, but Shelley cuts him off too.  Storm hits Shelley with the ladder and brings in another ladder.  Sabin dropkicks a ladder into Beer Money and Shelley stomps it into them.  Sabin tries to run up a ladder at Storm, stumbles, then knees the fuck out of Storm’s face.  Roode turns Sabin inside out with a lariat.  Roode climbs the ladder, but Shelley hits him with another ladder.  Shelley sets up a ladder bridge between the other ladder and the bottom rope.  Guns hit a double team Complete Shot/bulldog on Roode into the ladder.  Storm pulls Sabin out of the ring and cuts on Shelley on the ladder, then hits a Lung Blower.  Storm sets up Sabin for a superplex onto a ladder, but ends up tied to the tree of woe.  Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick, kicking the ladder into Storm’s face.  Storm hits a backbreaker on Sabin.  Shelley has bridged a ladder between the apron and the barricade.  Roode gets dropkicked onto it.  Shelley springboards on Roode into Storm, then Sabin squashes Roode on the ladder again.  Storm and Sabin fight on the ladder.  It gets knocked over, but Shelley sets it back up with Sabin still on it.  Ref bump.  Roode and Sabin fight on the ladder.  Roode takes a bump to the stage.  Sabin grabs the contract.  Storm hits Sabin in the back of the head with a beer bottle and takes the contract.  Earl Hebner sees Storm with the contract and gives it to Beer Money in 9:25.  Pretty good ladder match.

Abyss hits a watermelon with his nail board.  Commercials.

Matt Morgan vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Taz has taken to saying “Well, here comes the Pope!” when Pope’s music hits.  Pope goes for a Codebreaker early, but fails.  Pope ducks Morgan and hits him with a flurry of strikes.  Morgan chokeslams Pope into the corner and hits the revolving elbows.  Dinoer dropkicks Morgan into 619 position and goes for that move he does there, but Morgan moves.  Pope hits a Codebreaker for the pin in 1:37.  Lame.  Morgan jumps Pope from behind and hits a fall away slam and the Carbon Footprint.  He sets up Pope for the Carbon Footprint into the post that took out Hernandez, but Ken Anderson comes out with a steel chair to make the save.  Anderson throws Pope into the ring, teasing that he wants to help Morgan beat down Pope.  Anderson kicks Morgan’s ass instead.  Anderson offers a handshake, but Pope is understandably still pissed off about Anderson putting him on the shelf for months.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Velvet Sky & Lacey Von Erich argue about Madison Rayne.  Velvet is pissed.  Lacey advocates listening to Rayne’s side of the story.

Tonight, Lethal vs. Hardy!

Madison Rayne is in the ring bitching about losing the title at Victory Road because biker chick wasn’t one of the Beautiful People.  She threatens to sue TNA if the title isn’t returned to her within 7 days.  How much could TNA be worth anyway?  A couple hundred bucks?  Velvet and Lacey come out.  Velvet bitches her out.  Madison calls Velvet a dumb blond and says that she’s a genius.  Yeah…  Madison says she doesn’t need them anymore.  Velvet threatens to kick her ass.  TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love comes out and says it’s all an act.  She says Velvet was the biker chick.  She comments on Velvet’s fake boobs.  There’s something to be said here about the pot and the kettle.  Velvet says she’s insulted.  She says she’s done and Madison is all Angelina’s.  Velvet leaves while Lacey looks on from the ramp.  Madison calls for Angelina to give her the belt back.  Angelina gets in the ring and tells her to take it.  Rayne hits her with an elbow.  Love tackles Rayne and kicks her ass.  The biker chick rides out and attacks Angelina.  Rayne DDTs Angelina on a chair and leaves with biker chick again.  Ugh.  Whatever.

Jeff Hardy talks to nobody about Jay Lethal.  Commercials.

Jay Lethal vs. Jeff Hardy.  Lethal leap frogs Hardy and tries a roll under, but Hardy hits his leg drop to the legs for 2.  Lethal hits the Jericho springboard dropkick to the apron to knock Hardy to the floor and follows with a tope suicida.  Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Stevie Richards, and Raven take their usual place in the crowd.  Lethal covers Hardy for 2.  Lethal hits a basement dropkick for 2.  Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind for 2.  They trade shots.  Hardy hits a clothesline and a Manhattan Drop, then a leg drop to the balls and a basement dropkick for 2.  Lethal hits a springboard missile dropkick for 2.  Hardy counters the Lethal Combination and hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb for the pin in 4:29.  Okay little match, but there was absolutely no reason for this match to happen, unless they just decided to pull the plug on Lethal’s push.  He should have gone over a heel instead of jobbing to Jeff Hardy in a pointless babyface match.

Abyss and his girlfriend are headed our way.  Commercials.

Ric Flair, AJ Styles, and Kazarian are in the ring.  Flair says they’re the first 2 members of Fortune.  Desmond Wolfe comes out and says he deserves to be in.  Abyss comes out chases them away with the nail board.  He calls out Rob Van Dam.  Abyss tells RVD it’s time to share the plans.  Abyss babbles about “they.”  He wants to have a ladder match for the board, or something.  RVD retorts, then hits Abyss with the belt and kicks his ass.  Abyss fights back and drops RVD with a big boot.  Abyss chokeslams RVD and goes for the board.  Mick Foley comes out to the ramp.  Tommy Dreamer, Richards, Raven, and Rhino jump the guardrail and attack Abyss.  Security comes out and gets their asses kicked.  Doug Williams, Brutus Magnus, and Kazuchika Okada come out and get their asses kicked.  Same for more security.  Same for Desmond Wolfe, Brian Kendrick, D’Lo Brown, and Terry Taylor.  Pat Kenney and Al Snow come out and join the ECW guys.  Jay Lethal, Eric Young, Matt Morgan, and The Pope join the fray.  Brother Devon comes out and joins the invaders.  Jeff Jarrett comes out to try to get shit under control.  Dixie Carter is in the crowd.  More security and cops come out.  Dixie orders everyone to stop.  She says that she invited them.  Everyone is like WTF?  So am I.  End show.  Double WTF?  What the hell is going on here?

Lame, confusing show, but the Beer Money/Guns match was good.

TNA Victory Road 2010

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 19, 2010 by Grappleholic

Opening video package.  Victory Road!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Ultimate X or Submission Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Doug Williams (c) vs. Brian Kendrick.  Williams immediately tries to climb the Ultimate X structure.  Kendrick tries to cut him off, but fails.  Williams gives it up and tries to work over Kendrick instead.  Kendrick retaliates.  Williams hits a suplex into a Muta Lock.  Sweet.  Williams goes for his tornado DDT, but Kendrick avoids it and hits a missile dropkick, then goes for his scissored cobra clutch.  Williams avoids that and locks on a headscissors.  Kendrick counters out and lands some crossface blows.  Williams drops back in a way that appears to hurt Kendrick’s leg.  Williams locks in a Widow’s Peak-style hold.  Kendrick escapes and hits a flurry of offense.  He tries his hold again, but Williams counters it again.  Kendrick backdrops Williams to the floor.  Kendrick locks in his hold in the tree of woe, then tries to climb the structure.  Williams hits a backdrop suplex off the top rope.  They do some counter wrestling and Kendrick goes for the Cobra Clutch again.  They go to the ramp, then to the floor.  They fight on the structure and Kendrick takes a bump to the floor.  Williams pulls some gloves out of his tights and slaps Kendrick with them.  Kendrick is playing unconscious.  Williams puts on the gloves and climbs the structure.  Kendrick makes his way up and tries to lock his hold on Kendrick, but they both crash to the mat.  Williams locks in a necktie hold.  The referee checks Kendrick’s arm 3 times and stops it in 10:04.  Okay match.  Nothing special, though.  Referees revive Kendrick with smelling salts.

Tenay and Taz talk about what’s going down TONIGHT!

Christy Hemme interviews Brother Ray.  He says Jesse Neal is a failure just like Christy’s Playboy.

Team 3D/Jesse Neal love triangle video package.

Three-Way Match: Brother Ray vs. Jesse Neal vs. Brother Devon.  Ray hides behind part of the set and jumps Neal from behind on the ramp.  Devon doesn’t come out because Bubba locked him in the dressing room.  So there’s a fucking camera man shooting this shit that won’t open the fucking door?  Neal fights back against Bubba, but gets killed with a clothesline.  Bubba beats up Neal.  So there’s a backstage area FULL OF FUCKING PEOPLE WHO KNOW THAT DEVON IS LOCKED IN THE LOCKER ROOM, AND NOBODY WILL LET HIM HIM OUT?  Neal fights back, but gets back body dropped.  Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Stevie Richards, and Raven come in through the crowd to take their usual seats.  Crowd chants “ECW!”  Bubba gets distracted.  Neal hits the spear for 2.  Neal grounds and pounds Bubba.  Bubba drops Neal again and brings in a chair.  Shannon Moore runs out and distracts the referee so Bubba can kill his partner with the chair.  Devon finally comes out and HE IS PISSED.  He and Bubba face off, then turn to look at Jesse.  Devon attacks Bubba instead.  Neal accidentally spears Devon.  Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb on Neal for the pin in 5:57.  This was lame.

Madison Rayne/Angelina Love hype video.  Knockouts Tale of the Tape.

TNA Knockouts Championship vs. Career Match: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Angelina Love.  Love wins the title if the Beautiful People interfere.  They trade kicks and forearms and hair pulls.  Love spears Rayne, then chases her around the ring.  Love clotheslines Rayne on the outside.  Inside, cover gets 2.  Love hits another spear for 2.  Rayne gets the advantage and works Love over.  Rayne hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Rayne does the headscissors mat hump.  Rayne goes for her move, but Love counters and hits a clothesline.  Love hits a jawbreaker and some more weak clotheslines.  Rayne hits a knee facebuster or something, then runs So Cal Val out of her chair and brings the chair in.  Love superkicks the chair in to Rayne’s face.  Somebody rides in on a motorcycle.  Rayne throws Love outside and the motorcycle chick (completely covered) sends Love into the post.  The referee tries to determine if she is one of the Beautiful People, but she throws him down.  The referee awards Angelina the title by DQ in 4:41, assuming that it’s one of the BPs.  Rayne is pissed.  This was stupid and the match sucked.  Rayne leaves on the motorcycle with the other chick.  Love celebrates the title.

Christy Hemme interviews Mr. Anderson.  Typical stuff.

AJ Styles & Kazarian vs. TNA Global Champion Rob Terry & Samoa Joe.  Terry & Joe are the mystery team set up by Ric Flair to face Styles & Kazarian.  Styles tags in Kazarian before any contact is made.  Terry palms Kazarian’s head, then drops him with a shoulder block.  Kazarian bails and gets his ass kicked by Joe.  Joe drops Styles with a kick for good measure, then throws Kazarian back into the ring.  Joe tags in and beats up Kazarian some more.  “JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU!” chants.  Kazarian tries a cross body, but Joe just walks away and tags in Terry.  Kazarian tags in Styles, who looks timid.  Styles does some footwork and tries to throw a punch, but Terry throws him outside, then throws Kazarian out too.  Joe hits a elbow suicida on Styles and Kazarian.  Joe mauls Styles some more back in the ring.  Terry tags in, but the ref doesn’t see it.  Kazarian gets a cheap shot on to give the heels the advantage.  Kazarian hits a slingshot DDT for 2.  Styles and Kazarian finally realize they have to work together.  They get the heat on Joe.  Styles goes for the Styles Clash, but Joe kicks him in the head.  Styles lands the Pele kick, then Joe hits the STO out of the corner.  Terry gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Terry throws Styles and Kazarian around.  Terry hits a suplex into a powerslam on Styles, but Kazarian saves.  Joe comes in and chops the shot out of Kazarian.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster.  Desmond Wolfe runs down and pulls Joe out of the ring.  Kazarian hits Joe with a double axe handle off the apron.  Wolfe gets in the ring and gets nailed by a clothesline from Terry.  Styles and Kazarian work over Terry.  Styles hits the springboard 450 splash on Terry for the pin in 8:09.  Fun little match.  Best thing on the show so far.  Wolfe shakes hands with Styles and Kazarian, who quickly leave when they see Joe slip into the ring.  Joe KILLS Wolfe with the Muscle Buster.

Christy Hemme interviews Abyss.  He says the nail board is his girlfriend.  He talks about “they.”

Tenay and Taz talk about the lead up to the Hernandez/Matt Morgan Steel Cage Match.

Hernandez/Matt Morgan hype video.  You can briefly hear Borash doing his live event spiel about letting fans backstage.

Steel Cage Match: Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez.  Morgan goes for the door immediately, but Hernandez kicks his ass and throws him into the cage.  Morgan avoids a charge and Hernandez hits the cage.  Morgan throws him into the cage a bunch.  Morgan tries to leave again, but Hernandez grabs his leg and gets stomped.  Morgan does the revolving elbows in the corner.  Hernandez fights back and flips to the top rope, but Morgan hits him with the Carbon Footprint.  Morgan puts the boots to Hernandez, then teases that he’s going to climb out of the cage.  He goes out the door instead.  He puts one foot on the ramp and one on the apron, then stupidly decides to go back in and beat up Hernandez before.  Hernandez is bloody.  Hernandez makes his comeback.  Hernandez tries to set up the Border Toss, but fails because Morgan is too big.  Repeat.  Hernandez climbs to the top of the cage and goes for a splash, but Morgan moves.  Hernandez crashes and burns.  “TNA!” chants.  Morgan gets a pair of handcuffs from somewhere.  He cuffs Hernandez to the top rope and climbs over the top of the cage.  Hernandez breaks the cuffs and hits a tope suicida on the cage door to bust through it and win in 10:44.  Okay match.  Nothing special.  That seems to be the case for most of this show.

Christy Hemme interviews Ric Flair.

Tenay and Taz talk about the Flair/Lethal match.

Ric Flair/Jay Lethal video package.

Jay Lethal vs. Ric Flair.  “LET’S GO LETHAL!” chants.  They lock up.  Lethal grabs a side headlock and scores a knockdown.  They lock up again.  Lethal scores a dropkick, a chop, and a back body drop, then clotheslines Flair out of the ring.  We get a shot of some stupid fan yelling at Flair.  Flair tries to suplex Lethal out of the ring from the apron, but Lethal suplexes Flair in and lands a basement dropkick for 2.  Lethal lands a missile dropkick for 2.  Flair lands some chops.  Lethal responds in kind.  Flair throws some wild punches and does the flop, then gets in a cheap shot and goes up top.  Lethal cuts him off and hits a superplex.  Lethal goes for a moonsault, but Flair avoids it.  Flair works Lethal’s leg.  Dueling chants.  Ugh.  Flair locks in the figure-four leglock and uses the ropes for leverage behind referee Earl Hebner’s back.  Hebner catches him and makes him break.  They get into a shoving match.  Lethal schoolboys Flair for 2.  Lethal keeps selling the leg.  Lethal makes his comeback.  Taz gets in a Great Muta reference when Lethal hits the handspring elbow smash.  Lethal does for the Flair flip in the corner and struts on the apron, then goes for a sunset flip and pulls Flair’s trunks down to reveal his old, white ass.  Flair locks in a sleeper hold.  Lethal sends Flair into the turnbuckle to escape, then hits a rebound cross body.  Lethal hits a Vader Bomb to Flair’s legs.  Lethal goes to work on the leg and locks in the figure-four leglock for the submission win in 12:05.  Fun little match.  Lethal is emotional over the win.  Flair gets up and talks shit.  Hebner shoves Flair down and raises Lethal’s hand.  Lethal says “Hey mom, I did it!”

Christy Hemme interviews Jeff Hardy.

Tag Lines.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Beer Money vs. The Motor City Machine Guns.  Shelley and Storm start.  Usual goodness there.  Shelley sends Roode into a shot from Sabin.  Sabin tags in.  Guns use teamwork against Beer Money and send them both outside.  Roode gets double teamed some more in the ring.  Storm tags in and gets the advantage on Shelley briefly.  While the referee is distracted, Roode pulls Shelley’s balls into the post.  Beer Money work over Shelley.  Double suplex.  BEER!  MONEY!  The crowd adds “SUCKS!”  Roode hits a gutbuster on Shelley for 2.  Shelley continues to play face in peril.  Shelley fights back and makes the hot tag to Sabin.  Sabin runs wild and plants Roode with a tornado DDT for 2.  Storm goes to break the cover and accidentally elbow drops his partner.  Sabin NAILS Storm with a head kick from the apron, then hits a springboard lariat on Roode for 2.  Guns double team Roode.  Shelley hits an Asai DDT on Roode, but Storm saves.  Storm hits a Stun Gun on Shelley.  Sabin fights both of Beer Money.  Frankensteiner on Storm.  Sabin goes for a diving rana on Roode, but gets countered.  Storm hits the Eye of the Storm on Sabin.  Beer Money hit a catapult into a reverse lung blower on Shelley for 2.  I love Beer Money’s double team moves.  Beer Money go for the DWI, but get countered.  Storm clotheslines both Guns.  Sabin hits a dive to the outside on Storm.  My video freezes.  WTF?  The audio comes back on, but the image is still frozen.  Ah, finally.  Crowd is chanting “THIS IS AWESOME!”  I wish I knew why.  Guns double team Roode.  Storm strips Shelley and tries to spit beer at Sabin, but accidentally hits the referee.  Guns hit the neckbreaker/frog splash combo.  Shelley covers Storm.  Earl Hebner comes in to count 2.  Guns double team Roode some more.  Sabin hits a tope suicida on Storm.  Shelley hits a diving cross body on Roode, but Roode rolls through for 2.  Crowd chants “MOTOR CITY!”  Roode and Shelley trade shots.  Sabin comes back in and Guns land a double superkick.  Storm comes in and schoolboys Shelley at the same time Sabin covers Roode.  The 2 Hebners count separate pins in 15:20.  The Hebners argue and decide that the match MUST CONTINUE!  Beer Money jump the Guns.  The Guns come back and hit the neckbreaker/frog splash on Roode.  Shelley pins Roode in 17:27 (timing may be wrong, will check it later).  The Guns are finally champs!  Really good match from what I saw, which was everything except for the minute or so the stupid video froze.

Kurt Angle/D’Angelo Dinero video package.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Kurt Angle.  They lock up and wrestle.  It’s amazing how something so simple is so great.  Pope hits a couple of hip tosses and drops Angle with a shoulder block.  Angle is sent outside.  Pope politely holds the ropes open for him to get back in.  Angle powerbombs Pope into the corner.  Angle hits a knee lift for two 1 counts.  Angle hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Pope locks in a sleeper.  Angle reverses it.  Pope backdrop suplexes him.  Pope hits some Bionic elbows.  Angle hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Pope hits the rolling Germans on Angle.  That’s not a typo.  Pope hits an STO for 2.  Angle avoids the Elijah Express and hits the rolling Germans himself for 2.  Pope does the “slide over the guy in 619 position” deal, then goes up top.  Angle hits a belly to belly off the top rope for 2.  Pope avoids Angle in the corner and Angle spears the post.  Pope hits a Codebreaker for 2.  Angle hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Pope gets a front cradle for 2.  Angle goes for a sunset flip, but Pope drops down for 2.  Angle gets the ankle lock again for the win in 12:06.  Good match.  They hug.  Aww, that’s sweet!

Christy Hemme interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Rob Van Dam.

Tale of the Tape for the main event.

Four-Way Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Ken Anderson vs. Abyss vs. Jeff Hardy.  “WE ARE ASSHOLE!” chants.  Abyss stands outside the ring during the intros, then all 3 babyfaces attack him.  Abyss bails to the outside.  Hardy uses RVD as a springboard to take out Abyss with a dive.  Anderson schoolboys RVD for 2.  RVD and Anderson go at it.  Abyss trips RVD and pulls him outside, then throws him into the barricade.  Hardy and Anderson beat up Abyss.  Abyss goozles them both, but they break free and hit him with a double shoulder block.  Hardy and Anderson continue to double team Abyss.  They set up the Poetry In Motion, but Anderson hits Hardy with a cross body for 2, as RVD saves.  Hardy hits RVD with a kick, then hits a front suplex for 2.  RVD punches Hardy, then hits Abyss with a dive to the outside.  Abyss gets up and gets hit with another dive from Hardy.  Anderson hits Abyss with a double axe handle from the top rope to the outside.  RVD and Anderson come back inside.  RVD hits the split legged moonsault to Anderson’s back.  Hardy saves.  RVD and Hardy trade punches.  RVD catches Hardy with a spin kick.  RVD beats up Anderson.  RVD goes up top, but Anderson crotches him and goes for a superplex.  Hardy climbs up to help, but Abyss cuts them off and turns it into the tower of doom.  “TNA!” chants.  Abyss goozles RVD, but gets kicked in the head.  RVD avoids Abyss in the corner, rocks him with another kick, and hits the springboard kick.  RVD kicks everybody and hits the diving kick on Abyss.  RVD goes up top again, but Anderson pushes him off and into the stage.  “LET’S GO ASSHOLES!” chant.  Hardy hammers Abyss.  Whisper In The Wind, but Anderson saves.  Anderson hits the Mic Check on Abyss, but Hardy saves.  Abyss counters the Twist of Fate and hits the Black Hole Slam on Hardy, but Anderson pulls the referee out of the ring.  Hardy sends Abyss outside.  Anderson comes back in.  RVD is still KTFO’d on the outside.  Anderson and Hardy go at it.  Anderson goes for the Mic Check.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate.  Anderson goes for the Lambeau Leap.  Hardy finally hits the Twist of Fate and goes up top.  Swanton Bomb.  Abyss chokeslams Hardy onto Anderson and covers both.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash on the pile.  RVD pins Anderson to keep the title in 12:28.  Fun clusterfuck.  Abyss nails RVD from behind.  Abyss brings in the nail board.  RVD avoids the shot and Abyss tears up the canvas.

Hard Justice hype video.

Part of this show were really mediocre, but there was some good stuff and overall the show wasn’t really bad.

TNA Slammiversary VIII

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 14, 2010 by Grappleholic

The sixth annual Slammiversary, Slammiversary XVIII!  No, that’s not a typo.  It is the 8th anniversary of TNA, but the first Slammiversary was in 2005.

Opening video package highlighting the history of TNA, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Kazarian vs. Kurt Angle.  Angle takes Kazarian down with a side headlock.  They do some running and jumping around.  Kazarian hits a pair of arm drags.  They trade arm locks.  The crowd chants “USA!”  Both of these guys are Americans.  Kazarian hits a springboard dropkick.  Angle hits the rolling Germans.  Kazarian kicks him in the balls.  The referee wants to DQ Kazarian, but Angle tells him not to.  Kazarian goes on the attack.  He throws Angle out of the ring and hits a slingshot hilo.  Back inside, Kazarian hits his slingshot leg drop for 2.  Kazarian applies a front face lock.  Kazarian hits a clothesline, then chokes Angle with his shin.  Angle fights back and hits a release German suplex.  They trade punches, complete with “BOO, YAY!” responses from the crowd.  Angle hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Kazarian counters a move and hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Angle hits a powerbomb for 2, then goes for the ankle lock.  Kazarian rolls through with a front cradle for 2.  Kazarian hits a dropkick for 2.  Kazarian goes up top.  Angle springs up and hits an arm drag for 2.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam.  Kazarian rolls through it, but Angle rolls through the roll through and goes for the ankle lock again.  Kazarian escapes and hits a slingshot DDT for 2.  Angle hits the rolling Germans again.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam again and gets countered again.  Kazarian hits the Axe Guillotine Driver!  Fucking ouch.  Angle kicks out!  Angle fights back, but eats a lariat for 2.  Angle hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Angle goes up top, but Kazarian powerbombs him out of the corner and puts his feet on the ropes for 2.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver again, but Angle counters and locks in the ankle lock for the win in 14:14.  Very good opener.

Tenay and Taz talk about the anniversary of TNA.

X Factors.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Doug Williams (c) vs. Brian Kendrick.   The crowd is pro-Kendrick.  They chant “YOU’RE A WANKER!” at Williams.  Good back and forth wrestling to start.  Williams sends Kendrick to the floor and follows him out.  Williams avoids Kendrick, who crashes into the barricade, then backdrop suplexes him on the floor.  They trade blows back in the ring.  Williams hits a Samoan drop for 2.  Williams applies a bow & arrow lock, turns it into a pinning predicament for 2, the applies a cravat headlock.  Kendrick tries a springboard, but Williams avoids him by going outside.  Kendrick connects with a dive.  Back inside, Kendrick hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Kendrick hits a running knee strike for 2.  Another kick and another 2 count by Kendrick.  Williams kicks Kendrick in the thigh, then hits a lariat.  Kendrick tries a sunset flip, but Williams sets on him for 2.  They do a cradle reversal bit.  Williams hits a snap suplex and a side suplex, then an Exploder for 2.  Kendrick slaps Williams.  Williams goes for the Chaos Theory, but Kendrick bits his hand.  Williams hits a jumping tornado DDT for the pin in 9:35.  Good little match.  The announcers put over Williams being a hypocrite for using a top rope move to win.

Christy Hemme talks to Eric Bischoff (w/ Miss Tessmacher).  Bischoff is rooting for RVD tonight.

Knockouts Tale of the Tape.  Roxxi and Madison Rayne come out for the match.  Madison cuts a promo that the crowd hates.  She challenges Roxxi to put her career on the line.  Roxxi agrees, then Madison hits her in the head with the mic.

TNA Knockouts Championship vs. Roxxi’s Career: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Roxxi.  Rayne covers for off of the pre-match microphone shot.  Roxxi is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Roxxi fights back.  Polish hammer gets 2.  Rayne knocks Roxxi to the outside.  Roxxi is bleeding heavily.  Roxxi rams Rayne into the turnbuckle, then heads up top, but Rayne pulls her down.  Cover gets 2.  Rayne applies an arm hold.  Roxxi connects with an enzuigiri.  Roxxi hits the Voodoo Drop, but Rayne kicks out at 2.  Roxxi hits it again, but Rayne falls out of the ring.  Rayne comes back in and hits her move (the reverse Playmaker thing) for the pin in 4:16.  It was fine.  The last minute stip was random.

Brother Ray/Jesse Neal video package.  They come out for the match.  Ray calls for Brother Devon to come out.  Shannon Moore also comes out.  Brother Ray apologized to everyone for being a douchebag.  Crowd chants “YOU’RE A DOUCHEBAG!”  Moore leaves as Ray puts Neal over.  Ray apologizes again and hugs Neal.  Team 3D raise Neal’s hands.  As they head up the ramp, Ray decks Neal from behind and throws him into the ring.

Jesse Neal vs. Brother Ray.  Devon is like “WTF?” as he’s held back by security.  Ray kicks Neal in the face.  Moore comes back out.  The referee tells everyone to leave.  Neal tries to fight back, but Ray kicks his ass.  Neal finally makes a comeback and hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb.  Tommy Dreamer walks through the crowd.  Ray gets distracted, but avoids Neal’s spear.  Neal avoids a diving senton and spears Bubba for the pin in 5:53.  Not much of a match.  Ray is pissed.

Christy Hemme interviews Hernandez.

Matt Morgan/Hernandez video package.  Morgan comes out in street clothes and a neck brace.  He says he can’t wrestle tonight because Hernandez jumped him from behind “again.”  He gives the referee a doctor’s note.  Morgan tries to leave, but Hernandez jumps him and throws him in the ring.

Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez.  Hernandez chokes Morgan with a towel.  Hernandez politely sits the referee on the top rope to keep him out of the way.  Morgan begs off, then sends Morgan to the outside.  Morgan hits a shitty discus lariat.  Morgan beats up Hernandez for a little while.  Hernandez makes his comeback.  He rips Morgan’s shirt off and chokes him with it.  The referee tries to make him stop.  Hernandez tires of this shit and tosses the referee across the ring.  The ref DQ’s Hernandez in 5:19.  Hernandez tries to kick Morgan’s head into the post like Morgan did to him a few months ago, but Morgan pulls the ref in front of him.  Morgan runs away.  Earl Hebner runs out to check on the original referee, his son Brian.  Another promising match turning into a stupid angle.

Christy Hemme interviews Hulk Hogan, who is also rooting for RVD tonight.

Monster’s Ball Match: Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea) vs. Abyss.  Chelsea is back with Wolfe even though Abyss won her for 30 days 28 days ago.  So not only is Vince Russo a horrible booker, he also can’t count.  Abyss throws a bunch of weapons into the ring.  Wolfe swings a Singapore cane, but Abyss ducks it and kicks his ass.  Wolfe kicks a chair into Abyss.  Wolfe wedges the chair between the top and middle turnbuckles, then wails on Abyss with the Singapore cane.  Abyss hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Abyss brings in a barbed wire board from under the ring.  Abyss sends Wolfe into the chair between the turnbuckles.  Abyss goes outside to get a trash can.  Wolfe kicks the middle rope into his balls on the way back in, then hits him with the trash can a couple of times.  Wolfe looks in a trash can and finds a teddy bear wrapped in barbed wire.  Awesome.  Abyss rams into Wolfe in the corner, then gives the barbed wire bear to Chelsea.  Abyss pours broken glass into the ring.  Wolfe says “Fuck this” and bails. using Chelsea was a shield.  Wolfe cheap shots Abyss with the Singapore cane, then chokes him with it.  They fight up to the announcers’ table.  Wolfe tries to hit Abyss with the cane again, but Abyss chokeslams him through the platform the announce table is on.  Abyss carries Wolfe back to the ring and covers, but Wolfe gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Abyss lays out the barbed wire board and tries to set up a superplex, but Wolfe hits a sunset flip powerbomb.  Cover gets 2.  Wolfe tees off with the Singapore cane again.  Abyss ducks a shot and hits the Shock Treatment for 2.  Abyss’ arms are cut up from the barbed wire.  Wolfe attacks the arm, then hits Abyss in the back of the head with the cane.  Abyss falls face first into the broken glass.  Chelsea looks concerned or disgusted.  Wolfe covers for 2.  Crowd chants “THIS IS AWESOME!”  It’s not.  Wolfe calls for Chelsea’s purse.  He’s mad that the brass knuckles aren’t in it.  Chelsea throws the knuckles to Abyss.  Abyss decks Wolfe with the knuckles, then hits the Black Hole Slam for the pin in 11:46.  Okay for a garbage match.

Christy Hemme interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champon, Rob Van Dam.

Ric Flair/Jay Lethal/AJ Styles video package.

AJ Styles (w/ Ric Flair) vs. Jay Lethal.  Lethal chops Styles.  Styles bails.  Back inside, Styles works a side headlock.  Lethal turns it into a head scissors.  Styles turns it back into a headlock.  Styles kicks Lethal in the knee.  They trade chops.  Lethal hits a monkey flip, but Styles lands on his feet.  Lethal takes Styles down and lands a basement dropkick.  Lethal hits a backbreaker for 2.  Lethal hits a spinning head scissors.  Styles bails.  Lethal dives, but Styles slips back into the ring to avoid it.  Styles goes for a dive, but Lethal avoids it and pulls Styles down, causing Styles to smack his face on the apron.  Flair checks on Styles.  Back inside, Lethal ducks a chop and chops Styles.  Styles counters a head scissors attempt by crotching Lethal on the top rope.  Styles hits a knee drop for 2.  Some other stuff happens.  Lethal hits a dropkick for 2.  Styles hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Styles sends Lethal outside.  Flair chokes Lethal with his jacket.  Back inside, Styles covers for 2.  Lethal hits a handspring elbow smash and some running elbows.  Lethal hits a diving kick and a moonsault body block for 2.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination for 2.  Lethal tries to springboard, but Styles catches him and hits a fireman’s carry into a neckbreaker across the knee for 2.  Flair argues with Earl Hebner.  Lethal ducks a discus lariat and hits a backdrop into a neckbreaker for 2.  Styles locks Lethal in the figure-four leglock.  Nothing comes of that.  Styles hits a brainbuster for 2.  Styles for the Styles Clash, but Lethal counters and hits a release Dragon suplex.  Cover, but Flair puts Styles’ foot on the bottom rope.  Lethal locks Styles in the figure-four.  Lethal hits a backbreaker and goes for the diving elbow drop, but Styles avoids it.  Styles hits the Pele kick.  Styles tries to climb to the top, but slips and hits his face ont he top turnbuckle.  He tries a half assed something, but Lethal catches him with a half assed Northern Lights suplex hold for the pin in 17:10.  Very good match, but the finish was kind of weird.  Flair yells at Styles.  Kazarian runs out to try to make peace.  Flair and Kazarian leave Styles behind.

Sting cuts a promo up in his clubhouse.

Hardy & Anderson/Beer Money video package.

Christy Hemme interviews Jeff Hardy & Mr. Anderson.  They decide that their team is called “Extreme Enigmatic Assholes.”

Beer Money vs. Jeff Hardy & Mr. Anderson.  Anderson and Roode start.  Both teams make quick tags early.  Hardy and Anderson hit the old Hardy Boyz double leg drop on Roode at one point.  Anderson and Storm brawl.  Roode low bridges Anderson out of the ring and drives him into the side of the ring.  Back inside, Storm covers for 2.  Storm chokes Anderson.  Beer Money double team Anderson.  Anderson catches Storm with a clothesline and makes the tag to Hardy.  Hardy runs wild.  Front suplex on Roode.  Storm saves.  Anderson comes in just to get sent outside by Storm.  Beer Money hit the catapult into the DDT on Hardy.  Roode covers Hardy for 2.  Storm sets up the superkick, but Anderson pulls him out of the ring.  Hardy drops Roode and hits the Swanton Bomb.  Storm pulls the referee out of the ring.  The referee blames Anderson for it, stupidly.  Storm tags in and beats up Hardy.  Beer Money double team Hardy again.  Anderson comes in to save and gets reprimanded by that retarded ref again.  Storm hits a modified DDT OF MURDER on Hardy for 2.  Roode tags in and hits a backbreaker on Hardy for 2.  Anderson gets bitched at for making the save again.  Beer Money keep the heat on Hardy.  BEER!  MONEY!  Hardy inside cradles Storm for 2 while Anderson and Roode argue.  Roode tags in and beats up Hardy.  Hardy misses the Whisper In The Wind.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate out of nowhere.  Anderson gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Lambeau Leap on Roode for 2.  Hardy takes out Storm with a dive, using Anderson as a springboard.  Roode counters the Mic Check and hits a spinebuster, but Hardy saves.  Hardy kicks Roode.  Storm hits the Eye of the Storm on Hardy.  Beer Money set up the DWI, but Hardy sends Storm out of the ring and helps Anderson counter it.  Anderson hits the Mic Check on Roode for the pin in 13:56.  Pretty good match.  Anderson’s face is bloody.  Anderson and Hardy introduce each other as winners of the match.

RVD/Sting video package.  They say it’s a first time ever match when they technically had a match when RVD debuted in TNA.  Tale of the Tape.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Sting.  They lock up.  Sting takes RVD outside and into the crowd.  They brawl in the crowd, which is a great way to have a match without actually doing anything.  They go back to the ring side of the barricade, then Sting back body drops RVD back into the crowd, giving them an excuse to do more meaningless crowd brawling.  Sting finally brings RVD back in the ring and slowly puts the boots to him.  Sting hits a Stinger Splash for 2.  RVD lands a big kick, some other moves, and his diving kick for 2.  RVD slams Sting and hits the split legged moonsault for 2.  RVD goes for a diving cross body, but Sting moves and referee Earl Hebner takes it.  Sting attacks RVD with his bat.  Jeff Jarrett comes out, takes the bat away, and nails Sting with it a couple of times.  Jarrett leaves.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder for 2.  Sting avoids RVD in the corner.  RVD avoids the Stinger Splash and lands a kick and the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 10:53.  Well this was kind of lame.

Pretty decent show for a TNA PPV, with the worst only being mediocre.

TNA iMPACT! 5/20/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 24, 2010 by Grappleholic

Sacrifice highlight video.

“10 Card Stud”

Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Tonight, the Top 10 Contenders will be announced!  Tonight, there will be an announcement regarding the main event of tonight’s show.  Well I fucking hope so.  Also, Kurt Angle returns.

Eric Bischoff comes out with Miss Tessmacher.  Bischoff introduces the top 10 contenders.  Each guy comes out to the ramp and they show a brief video package.  #10 is Samoa Joe.  #9 is TNA Global Champion Rob Terry.  #8 is Desmond Wolfe.  #7 is “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  #6 Abyss.  #5 is Mr. Anderson.  #4 is Jeff Hardy.  #3 is AJ Styles.  #2 is Kurt Angle (who doesn’t come out).  Crowd chants “WE WANT ANGLE!”  #1 is Sting.  WHAT THE FUCK?  These rankings are motherfucking retarded.  Sting comes to the ring.  Crowd chants “WE WANT A RECOUNT!”  Bischoff books Sting vs. Jeff Hardy for tonight.  Sting smashes the stupid poster things in the ring, the hits Abyss with the bat.  Abyss tries to make the save, but gets owned.  Hardy takes the bat from Sting.  Hardy slaps Sting.  Sting kicks Hardy in the balls and takes his bat back.  TNA World Champion Rob Van Dam comes out.  Hardy clips Sting’s leg and hits the Twist of Fate.  Hardy goes up top, but Sting leaves.  Just to recap, Sting vs. Hardy tonight and Sting vs. RVD for the World Title at Slammiversary.  This was all stupid.

Moments ago, some shitty booking was played out.

Matt Morgan bitches to Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff.  “They” want “their” rematch for the tag titles.

Roxxi, who looks totally different from the last time I saw her, comes out.  They show her breaking her ankle in a match against Ayako Hamada on New Years’ Eve.

Non-Title: Roxxi vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne.  Roxxi seems freakishly tall.  She’s all over Rayne to start.  Rayne avoids a shot and attacks her.  Knee lift gets 1.  Rayne works Roxxi’s face.  Seriously.  Roxxi hits the Voodoo Drop for the pin in 2:42.  Whatever.  Rayne is pissed.

Chelsea bitches at Desmond Wolfe about having to be Abyss’ property for 30 days.  Wolfe reassures her.

Kurt Angle arrives with a goatee and refuses to answer some geek’s questions.

Kurt Angle music video.

Kurt Angle comes out and talks for a while.  He says he’s taking himself out of the #1 contender spot and he’s going to wrestle every one of the top contenders.

Christy Hemme talks to Ric Flair and Beer Money.  Beer Money are facing Jay Lethal and a partner tonight.  Kazarian comes in.  He wants to talk to Flair.

Tonight, Sting vs. Hardy.

Rob Terry says he has a knee injury, and he’s wrestling with it tonight.

Jeremy Borash is still doing ring announcing.

Non-Title: TNA Global Champion Rob Terry vs. Orlando Jordan.  Why the fuck are we doing this again?  Jordan goes on the attack.  Terry fights back.  Earl Hebner gets knocked down.  Jordan gets back dropped.  Cover gets 2.  Jordan attacks the injured knee and works it over.  Jordan locks in a knee bar.  Terry refuses to tap, but Hebner stops it and gives Jordan the win in 2:58.  It served its purpose, so I have no complaints.  Jordan attacks Terry again after the match and puts the hold back on.

Jay Lethal talks about his issues with Ric Flair.  Rob Van Dam offers to be his partner.  Lethal agrees.

Jeff Hardy applies his makeup and talks about idolizing Sting when he was a child.

Ink Inc. barge into Team 3D’s locker room.  Neal bitches at Bubba about the shit he pulled at the PPV, which was a dick move.  Neal and Bubba come to blows.

Beer Money vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam & AJ Styles.  Lethal has his own music and gear and is no longer doing the Black Machismo gimmick.  Roode Pearl Harbors Lethal to start the match.  Lethal fights back.  Lethal goes up top, but Roode shoves him off.  Beer Money put the boots to Lethal.  Roode tags in and works him over.  Lethal gets turned inside out by a clothesline.  Beer Money hit a double back body drop on Lethal.  Roode takes over the punishment.  Lethal hits a handspring elbow smash and makes the tag to RVD.  RVD runs wild briefly, then gets cut off by Roode.  RVD rallies and hits the flying kick.  Cover, but Roode saves.  Lethal blind tags in and hits a missile dropkick on Roode.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder.  Lethal locks Roode in the figure-four leglock.  RVD takes Storm out with a dive.  Roode submits to Lethal’s figure-four in 3:56.  Fun little tag match.  Ric Flair comes out and brawls with Lethal.  They brawl to the back.  RVD celebrates some more and slaps hands with fans.  A fan in a Sting mask hits RVD with a chair.  He takes off the mask to reveal… Sting!  Okay, that was fucking awesome.  Sting hits RVD again and leaves.

Recap of the shit Sting has pulled so far tonight.

Jeff Hardy is in the ring.  He cuts a promo on Sting and leaves.

Security tells Desmond Wolfe “It’s time.”  Wolfe tells Chelsea it’s going to be okay and bitches out the security guards.

Abyss comes to the ring and calls for Desmond Wolfe to bring him his new property.  Security brings Chelsea out, with Wolfe trailing behind and still acting all pissed off.  Abyss says he made Wolfe his bitch at Sacrifice, and tonight he’s taking his bitch.  Wolfe says Abyss will take Chelsea over his dead body.  He kicks Abyss and the security guards in the balls, then beats up the security guards.  I think they need better security.  Wolfe takes a glass bottle from Chelsea, breaks it, and threatens Abyss with it.  Wolfe cuts Abyss’ arm, then bitches at Chelsea.  Abyss’ arm is bleeding.  He knocks the bottle away and hits the Black Hole Slam on Wolfe.  Abyss carries Chelsea away, presumably to fuck repeatedly.

House show plugs.

TNA World Tag Team Champions The Band are in the ring.  Eric Young cuts a promo about having joined The Band.

Eric Young (w/ TNA World Tag Team Champions Kevin Nash & Scott Hall) vs. Shannon Moore (w/ Jesse Neal).  Young attacks.  Moore responds with lots of moves.  Young beats up Moore some more.  Diving elbow drop gets 2.  Young keeps the heat on.  Hebner catches Nash trying to interfere and stops him, but Young is doing fine on his own.  Young makes his comeback.  Brother Ray comes out.  Jesse Neal attacks him on the ramp.  Brother Devon comes out to break it up.  Hall hits Moore in the back with the belt.  Young hits a piledriver for the pin in 3:41.  It’s nice to see someone using the piledriver as a finish again.  Brother Ray attacks Neal again, just because he’s a dick.  He and Devon argue.

Sting vs. Hardy is still to come.

Taz and Tenay talk about the situation with Team 3D and Jesse Neal.

X Division Battle Royal featuring The Motor City Machine Guns of Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley, Generation Me of Max Buck & Jeremy Buck, Kazarian, Homicide, and Amazing Red.  No entrances, everyone is just in the ring and start brawling.  The winner becomes #10 contender since Angle gave up his spot so everyone else moves up a spot.  Kazarian eliminates Red.  Bucks double team the Guns.  Sabin eliminates Max by dropkicking him off the apron.  Shelley gets eliminated by Jeremy.  Sabin eliminates Jeremy.  Ric Flair comes out.  Kazarian eliminates Sabin.  Homicide attacks Kazarian.  Brian Kendrick comes in and eliminates Homicide.  He’s in the match, but nobody knew it until now, because there were no entrances on TV and he wasn’t in the ring when the match started.  Kazarian withstands Kendrick’s attack and throws him out to win it in 2:52.  There’s some sort of connection with Flair and Kazarian now.

Sting vs. Hardy is NEXT!

Sting vs. Jeff Hardy.  They lock up.  Sting is the aggressor early.  Hardy fights back.  Sting bails.  After a minute, Hardy hits a baseball slide dropkick.  He goes for a dive, but Sting avoids it.  Sting rams Hardy’s knee against the ramp a couple of times, then continues beating Hardy up back in the ring.  FUCKING ALTERNATING CHANTS AGAIN.  Hardy avoids the Stinger Splash and makes his comeback.  Basement dropkick gets 2.  Sting avoids the Whisper In The Wind and locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Hardy gets a rope break.  Ref bump.  Sting goes for the Scorpion Death Drop.  Mr. Anderson sneaks in and hits a Scorpion Death Drop on Sting.  It’s sloppy.  Hardy pins Sting in 5:40.  Not much of a match.  Anderson tries to make friends with Hardy again.  Sting kills them both with the bat.

Not the worst iMPACT! ever by any means.