Archive for Doug Williams

TNA iMPACT! 2/17/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2011 by Grappleholic

Recap of recent goings on.  Tonight, Rob Van Dam finally gets Jeff Hardy for the World Title!

“The Boy Is Back In Town”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Eric Bischoff, Matt Hardy, Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy of Immortal come out.  Bischoff introduces the NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy.  Bischoff starts to blather on.  They show a PIP of Ric Flair arriving backstage.  He talks about RVD/Hardy tonight, then bitches about Flair being AWOL recently.  Flair comes out, helped into the ring by So Cal Val, and bitches at Bischoff for telling him what to do because he’s Ric Flair, dammit!  Flair leaves.

Video of Jeff and Karen Jarrett getting massages and being pretentious assholes.  It lasts way too long.  And we’ll probably get 30 of these tonight.  Commercials.

AJ Styles and Matt Hardy brawl backstage.  Gunner and Murphy jump Styles.  The rest of Fortune make the save.  Rob Terry joins in.  Scott Steiner is there too.  Al Snow, Pat Kenney, D’Lo Brown, and geeks try to break it up.

Tenay and Taz talk about Against All Odds.

Hernandez, Sarita, and Rosita make friends backstage.  I understood most of Sarita’s Spanish!

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Doug Williams comes out.  Hernandez jumps him in the aisle and destroys him.

Doug Williams vs. Hernandez (w/ Sarita & Rosita).  Hernandez continues destroying Williams.  Velvet Sky runs out to attack Sarita for talking shit.  Rosita beats up Velvet.  Angelina Love makes the save.  Meanwhile, Hernandez chokes Williams with his shirt.  Hernandez hits the Border Toss which drops Williams RIGHT ON HIS FUCKING HEAD for the pin in 1:59.  What a mess.

Eric Bischoff is on the phone trying to get the network to cancel the Hardy/RVD match tonight.  He fails.  Commercials.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is in the ring with a roast pig with an apple in its mouth.  He talks for a while.  He calls the pig “Sloppy Joe” and claims to be Jesus.  Samoa Joe comes out to put a stop to this stupidity.  Okato appears on the apron and delivers a kick to Pope.  Joe kicks Pope’s ass and hits the Muscle  Buster through the buffet table.  Thank you, Joe!  Joe puts the apple in Pope’s mouth.  Hah!

Tonight, Jeff Hardy defends the World Championship against RVD!  Commercials!

Robbie E. and Cookie are obnoxious.  Kazarian kisses his wife Traci Brooks backstage before heading to the ring.  Kazarian cuts a promo about bringing back the X Division.  He challenges Robbie to send Cookie to the back and have a straight match with him.  Robbie agrees.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Kazarian (c) vs. Robbie E.  Robbie goes on the attack early.  Kazarian fires back and kicks Robbie in the head.  There’s a random horn honking sound.  Kazarian hits a springboard elbow smash for 2.  Kazarian lands a spin kick and goes for the Fade To Black.  Cookie comes back in and hits Kazarian with a giant purse to cause the DQ in 1:47.  Robbie and Cookie attack Kazarian.  Traci Brooks runs in and kicks Cookie’s ass.  Glad that crap is over.

Ric Flair visits with Fortune.  He’s playing both sides of the Immortal/Fortune game, apparently.  He ices all of them.

Styles vs. Hardy NEXT!  Commercials!

Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles.  They brawl.  Styles throws Hardy out of the ring and hits an awesome suicide dive.  Hardy gets the advantage in a ringside brawl.  Back inside, Hardy hits the Side Effect for 2.  Ric Flair comes out.  Hardy grabs a cravat.  Hardy rakes Styles’ eyes.  Styles gets pissed off and kicks Hardy’s ass.  Hardy counters the Styles Clash.  Styles does the drop down, leap frog, dropkick.  Styles goes for the springboard forearm, but Flair turns and trips him.  Hardy hits the Twist of Hate for the pin in 3:23.  Flair and Hardy beat up Styles.  Fortune run off Flair and Hardy.  The match wasn’t much of anything.

Ken Anderson is here and he’s pissed off.  Commercials.

Jeff and Karen are obnoxious in a hot tub.

Ken Anderson comes out and calls out Eric Bischoff.  Bischoff comes out.  Anderson bitches about not getting his championship rematch tonight.  Bischoff blames The Network.  Is Cyrus going to show up?  Because that would probably rule.  Anyway, they argue.  Bischoff makes Anderson the guest referee in the main event tonight, with the logic that he’ll help Hardy win to have another chance at Hardy.  Anderson agrees, then gives Bischoff the Mic Check.

Velvet Sky and Winter bicker backstage.  Winter grabs some scissors.  Angelina comes in and tells Winter to chill.  Hehe… Winter chill…

Tonight, Hardy vs. RVD.  Up next, women’s tag match.  Commercials.

House shows!

AJ Styles rants and raves about Flair backstage.  He wants Flair next week.

The Beautiful People (TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champion Angelina Love & Velvet Sky) vs. Sarita & Rosita.  They brawl in the aisle.  They brawl in the ring.  Velvet beats up Sarita.  Love and Rosita tag in.  BP double team Rosita.  Sarita comes in and Love throws her outside.  Rosita tries to rally.  Love gives her the World’s Weakest Slam.  Sarita tags in.  Love hits a wonky move for 2.  Velvet tags in.  Sarita kicks her in the pussy, wiggles her ass, and tags out.  Sky overcomes a double team.  Rosita hits a jawbreaker.  Sarita tags in.  Sky gives her a shitty hip toss into the ring.  Sky goes for a DDT, but Rosita stops her.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Rosita trips Sky from the outside.  Sarita pins Sky with her feet on the ropes in 3:49.  This was fucking atrocious.  Velvet challenges Sarita to a match with no cheating allowed.  Sarita says Velvet is a joke, which is true, and challenges her to put her career on the line.  Sky agrees.  Please win, Sarita!

Jeff and Karen are obnoxious somewhere else.

Kurt Angle is going to where Karen and Jeff are.

Tonight, RVD vs. Hardy with Anderson as ref.  Commercials.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne and Tara are obnoxious backstage.  She’s issued an open challenge to anyone in the world.

Scott Steiner talks about having a pose off with Rob Terry next week.  Ugh.

Rob Van Dam/Jeff Hardy video package.

Jeff and Karen are obnoxious at dinner.  Kurt Angle shows up.  Jeff and Karen run away.  That was pointless.

Rob Van Dam talks backstage.

The main event is NEXT!  Commercials.

Tenay and Taz talk about what happened at the PPV with Bully Ray, Brother Devon, and Devon’s sons.  Bully Ray comes out to be an asshole.  Taz tells him to STFU and GTFO.  They argue.  Ray slaps Tenay in the back of the head just to be a dick.

Ken Anderson comes out and does his intro.  It’s main event time!

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Rob Van Dam.  Ken Anderson is the guest referee.  They lock up.  RVD goes into karate mode, then into judo mode.  Hardy hides in the ropes.  RVD drops him crotch-first into the ropes and hits the flying kick.  RVD front suplexes Hardy into the guardrail and hits the MOTHERFUCKING GUARDRAIL LEG DROP~!  Commercials.  RVD hits a slingshot leg drop to the apron, then another one back into the ring for 2.  RVD hits a front slam and goes for the split legged moonsault, but Hardy gets his knees up.  Hardy dropkicks Hardy into the post and out of the ring.  Back inside, Hardy hits a front suplex for 2.  Hardy applies a rear chin lock.  RVD avoids the Whisper In The Wind and hits a standing moonsault.  RVD makes his comeback and hits the Rolling Thunder for 2.  RVD hits his swank leg roll cradle for 2, then kicks Hardy in the face.  RVD goes up top.  Hardy pushes him off into the barricade.  Back inside, Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb for the… RVD kicks out!  Hardy and Anderson argue.  RVD hits a chin crusher and spin kick, then the Five Star Frog Splash.  Hardy gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Hardy accidentally bumps into Anderson.  Anderson glares at him.  Hardy kicks RVD in the balls where Anderson can’t see it, then hits the Twist of Hate for the pin in 12:12.  Pretty good match.  Anderson raises Hardy’s hand, then gives him the Mic Check.  RVD and Anderson argue.  Anderson gives RVD the Mic Check too.

Aside from a decent main event, this show was fucking atrocious.  After a run of watchable shows, this was pretty much back to business as usual for iMPACT!

TNA iMPACT! 2/3/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2011 by Grappleholic

Recap of recent goings on and clips from the European tour.

“Expect The Unexpected”

Immortal are in the ring: Eric Bischoff, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Rob Terry, TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money, TNA X Division Champion Kazarian, AJ Styles, Gunner, and Murphy.  Bischoff calls out Scott Steiner, who comes out to the ring.  Bischoff blathers for a while.  He says there is no “they” because Nash, Sting, and Booker aren’t coming back.  He invites Steiner to join Immortal.  Steiner offers to stick his foot up Bischoff’s ass and calls him a piece of shit.  Another epic Scott Steiner promo.  He says he’ll break Bischoff’s neck if Bischoff doesn’t call him “sir.”  Kurt Angle and Crimson come out.  Angle agrees that Bischoff is a piece of shit, then says that “they” are indeed here.

Immortal bicker backstage.  Bischoff wonders where Flair is.  Angle, Steiner, and Crimson walk in.  Everybody argues.

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Ink Inc. vs. Gunner & Murphy.  Gunner and Murphy kick tattooed ass.  Taz: “Hes like 6’6″!  He’s even taller than me!”  Gunner and Murphy work over Neal.  Moore tags in and runs wild on the big dude.  I think it’s Murphy.  Moore hits the Halo.  Gunner saves.  Murphy accidentally boots Gunner.  Ink Inc. hit their finish on Murphy and Moore gets the pin in 3:28.  There ya go.

Kurt Angle gives Scott Steiner and Crimson a pep talk backstage.  Angle’s phone rings.  The plan is a go, apparently.

Tonight, Ken Anderson defends the TNA World Heavyweight Championship against Jeff Hardy!  Up next, TNA Cribs with Jeff & Karen Jarrett!

Chrisy Hemme is in front a court house.  This stupid legal thing got a continuance until March 3.

Eric Young shows up at the announce table and spazzes out.  He says he knows who “they” are, but won’t tell who.  He thinks he’s off air.  But he’s functionally retarded.

TNA Cribs with Jeff and Karen Jarrett.  Jeff gets mad at the kids for saying Dixie Carter’s name.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson talks backstage.  He wants to waste TV time in the ring talking to Jeff Hardy later.

Bully Ray and “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero are in the ring.  Apparently they’re partners now.  Ray cuts a promo about Devon.  Pope cuts a promo about Samoa Joe.  Joe and Devon hit the ring for a brawl.  Pope runs away from Joe.  Kazuchika Okada appears in the entryway to block his exit.  Pope takes another way out.  Joe gives chase.  Ray tries to punch Devon with the chain, but Devon kicks his ass.  They brawl at ringside.  Geeks come out to break them up.  Ray spits on some fans, who are apparently Devon’s sons, then runs away.

Tonight, Sarita vs. Mickie James in a Taped Fist Match!  Anderson vs. Hardy for the World Championship!

Eliminate The Hate!

Max Buck has joined Tenay and Taz at the table.

X Division #1 Contender Qualifying Three-Way Match: Jay Lethal vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Douglas Williams.  They do some shit.  Williams fails a Chaos Theory on Buck, but hits a snap suplex for 2, as Lethal saves.  Jeremy hits Williams with an Asai moonsault.  Lethal hits Jeremy with a tope suicida.  Back inside, Lethal hits Jeremy with a springboard kick.  Jeremy gets a rope break at 2.  Williams comes back and gives Jeremy a side Russian leg sweep as Jeremy DDTs Lethal.  Covers get 2.  Williams tries to set up a backdrop suplex off the top on Jeremy.  Lethal turns it into a tower of doom spot.  Max comes down to do something about Jeremy’s shoe being untied.  Lethal covers Williams for 2.  Williams gets an inside cradle for 2.  Lethal and Williams trade blows.  Max distracts the referee.  Williams hits the Chaos Theory on Lethal.  Jeremy kicks Williams in the balls and covers Lethal for the pin in 4:29.  Good little match.

Bischoff is on the phone trying to find Flair.  Nobody knows where he is.  Bischoff tells Styles to make sure they get the World title back tonight.  Styles assures him that he has things under control.

Sarita talks backstage.  She says her cousin Rosita will be there next week.

Anderson/Hardy hype video.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson comes out and calls of Jeff Hardy.  Hardy comes out and his awful song rapes my eardrums and gives me a headache.  They talk for a while.  I think Hardy agrees to not cheat tonight.

Mickie James talks backstage.

Tonight, Anderson vs. Hardy!  Next, Mickie vs. Sarita in a Taped Fist Match!

House shows!

More of Jeff & Karen at home.

Taped Fist Match: Sarita vs. Mickie James.  Mickie hits a snapmare and whiffs a basement dropkick.  Mickie hits a monkey flip and a dropkick, then punches Sarita.  Sarita hides behind the referee, then tries to get a cheap shot.  Mickie hits some arm drags and a neckbreaker.  Mickie goes up top.  Sarita ducks the dive.  Micke tries to pull Sarita out of the ring, but gets kicked in the head.  Mickie pulls Sarita off the apron, causing a face plant.  Sarita rams Mickie’s hand into the post, then cranks on it, then rams it into the steps.  Back inside, Sarita keeps working on the hand.  Sarita hits a hammerlock slam.  I always pop for that move a little bit.  Sarita cranks on an arm lock.  Mickie fights free.  Sarita hits a swank backdrop suplex.  Mickie rallies and lands a knockout left hand for the KO victory in 6:03.  This was okayish.  TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne appears in the crowd and cold cocks Mickie with the loaded glove.

Eric Bischoff and Jeff Hardy bicker backstage.  Hardy tells him to make sure there’s no interference tonight.

Jeff Jarrett has a surprise for Karen.

Clips from the European tour.

Back at La Casa de Jarrett.  It’s very stupid.  They’re going to renew their wedding vows on Impact.  Ugh.

Ken Anderson comes out for the main event.  Jeff Hardy jumps him in the aisle during his microphone gimmick.  Hardy beats up Anderson at ringside.  Al Snow, Pat Kenney, and geeks break them up.  Insta-commercials.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Ken Anderson (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  They lock up and tear into each other.  Anderson hits a cross body for 2.  Hardy bails.  Anderson chases.  Hardy slips back in and gets the jump on Anderson.  Hardy beats up Anderson.  Hardy hits a clothesline for 2.  Hardy hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson rallies and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Hardy drops him with a clothesline and goes back on the offensive.  Hardy goes to work on Anderson’s leg, then on Anderson’s previously concussed head.  Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind.  They trade punches.  Anderson makes his comeback.  Anderson hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Hardy counters the Mic Check.  Anderson lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Hardy hits a front suplex for 2.  Anderson goes for the Lambeau Leap.  Hardy counters and goes for the Twist of Hate.  Anderson counters.  Hardy bumps the ref.  Hardy hits the Twist of Hate.  Matt Hardy, Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy come out and beat up Anderson.  Styles, Beer Money, and Kazarian come out to join.  Matt hits the Side Effect on Anderson.  Styles, Beer Money, and Kazarian throw up the Fortune sign and attack Immortal!  Roode clotheslines Jeff.  Styles gives Jeff the Styles Clash!  Anderson covers Hardy for the pin in 12:12.  Good match, even with the fuck finish.  Styles hands the fugly belt to Anderson.  Insta-commercials.

Fortune and TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson are in the ring.  Styles cuts a promo on Bischoff.  He explains that “them” is “us.”  Bischoff comes out and swears at Styles a bunch.  They yell at each other.  Kurt Angle, Scott Steiner, and Crimson appear in the ring with Fortune.  The shit talking continues.  Bischoff says on March 3, some shit’s gonna go down.  Styles says he’ll stick his foot so far down Bischoff’s throat, he’ll be pissing shoelaces.  Awesome.

Not too bad of a show, actually.

TNA Genesis 2011

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2011 by Grappleholic

PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Jay Lethal (c) vs. Kazarian.  Lethal is good and pissed off and gets the jump on Kazarian early.  Kazarian tries of getting his ass kicked and bells.  Lethal hits him perfectly with a tope suicida.  Kazarian whips Lethal towards the ring.  Lethal connects with a moonsault body block off the apron.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Kazarian finally gains the advantage by sending Lethal hard into the corner.  Or so he thought.  Lethal fires back with chops and catapults Kazarian into the corner.  Lethal hits a dropkick for 2.  Lethal hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Kazarian catches Lethal with an elbow smash, then hits an Alabama Slam.  Kazarian finally has the advantage and starts to put a beating on the champion.  Kazarian hits a leg drop for 2.  Lethal lands the handspring elbow.  They get to their feet and trade punches.  Lethal lands a HARD chop, then runs and kind of bulldogs Kazarian onto the top rope.  Kazarian slingshots Lethal back in and hits an Ace Crusher for 2!  That was awesome.  Kazarian goes for the Flux Capacitor.  Lethal turns it into a sunset flip powerbomb for 2.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination for 2.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver.  Lethal counters.  Kazarian hits a slingshot DDT for 2.  Kazarian gets annoyed that he can’t put Lethal away.  Kazarian slaps Lethal.  Lethal Hulks up and lands a bunch of chops.  Lethal hits a suplex and goes up top.  Kazarian jumps up and hits an enzuigiri to the throat.  Which technically isn’t an enzuigiri, but I digress.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver off the top!  Lethal counters certain death and pushes Kazarian down into the ref.  Kazarian crotches Lethal on the top, then its the Axe Guillotine Driver for the pin in 11:37.  Immortal captures another championship!  Good match, too.  I really dug this.

Tenay and Taz hype the show.

Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, and AJ Styles are in the office.  Flair tells Bischoff that Styles is injured and can’t wrestle tonight.  They bicker.  Styles cares about his kid, which pisses Bischoff off.  Styles is about sick of his shit.  He storms off.  Flair tells Bischoff to come up with something.

Mickie James/Madison Rayne hype video.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Mickie James.  Madison taunts Mickie, then hides behind the referee.  Mickie schools her and gets some quick pin attempts.  Mickie lands a dropkick.  Rayne bails to the apron.  Mickie hip tosses her back in for 2.  Mickie cranks on Rayne’s arm.  Madison walks up the ropes, so Mickie drops her.  Rayne screams, then pulls Mickie’s hair.  Mickie rallies.  Madison bails.  Madison pulls Mickie’s head across the top rope.  Cover gets 2.  Crowd chants “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE!”  Madison responds by not being able to wrestle.  Mickie hits a snapmare and a basement dropkick for 2.  Mickie goes for the Flair pin in the corner and gets 2.  Mickie hits a rana and goes up top.  Rayne cuts her off and throws her to the mat.  Rayne does typical women’s bullshit for 2.  Mickie fights out of some stupid thing.  Madison throws her down and pulls on her face.  Mickie gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Madison hits a head kick for 2.  I wish this would end.  Madison works Mickie’s hair.  I fucking hate women’s wrestling.  Madison tries to hump Mickie’s head into the mat.  Mickie turns it into a wheelbarrow drop and makes her comeback.  Mickie goes for the DDT.  Rayne escapes and hits in the ropes.  Mickie spanks her.  Madison pokes Mickie in the eye behind the ref’s back.  Mickie hits a neckbreaker and goes up top.  Mickie hits the diving Thesz press and goes for the DDT.  Tara comes out.  Mickie tries to fight her.  The ref gets between them.  Madison plays dead in the ring.  Mickie picks her up.  Madison KOs Mickie with a loaded glove for the pin in 10:29.  This was awful.  Madison and Tara celebrate the win.  I celebrate this match being over.

Christy Hemme interviews Immortal members TNA X Division Champion Kazarian, Beer Money, Ric Flair, and Eric Bischoff.  Christy asks Bischoff who will face RVD and who will replace AJ Styles.  Bischoff says Abyss will take AJ’s place, but won’t tell who RVD’s opponent is.  He guarantees that Immortal will win all of the titles tonight.

Beer Money/Motor City Machine Guns hype video.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Beer Money.  Shelley throws his shirt at Roode.  Roode shoves him.  They stare at each other, then eventually lock up.  They do a fine little chain wrestling sequence.  They speed up and Shelley lands a dropkick for 2.  Storm tags in and gets beaten up by the Guns.  Guns double team Storm, then Roode.  Guns send Beer Money to the floor and land stereo topes suicidas.  Back inside, Storm avoids Shelley’s Ghetto Stomp.  Storm counters the Shiranui.  Roode gives Shelley an enzui lariat.  Storm covers for 2.  Beer Money cut Shelley off and get the heat on him.  Heel chicanery allows Beer Money to double to Shelley behind the referee’s back.  Shelley rallies and gives Storm the Shiranui.  Shelley goes to make the tag, but Roode pulls Sabin off the apron.  Roode tags in and keeps the heat going on Shelley.  Beer Money hit the double suplex on Shelley.  “BEER!  MONEY!”  Beer Money go for the awesome catapult DDT, but Shelley counters it and rallies!  Sabin gets the hot tag and runs wild!  Sabin ties Roode to the tree of woe and hits the hesitation dropkick.  Storm saves.  Sabin suplexes him onto Roode.  Sabin hits Roode with a diving rana.  Shelley comes off of Sabin’s shoulders to give Roode a DDT.  Sabin covers, but Storm saves.  Sabin and Storm fight outside.  Roode goes for a superplex on Shelley.  Shelley fights him off.  Sabin hits a diving lariat.  Shelley hits the Ghetto Stomp.  Sabin covers for 2.  Storm hits a Lung Blower on Storm.  Sabin kicks Storm outside.  Roode and Sabin counter each other.  Storm spits beer on Sabin’s face.  Roode hits the spinebuster for 2.  Shelley comes in against Roode, then takes out Storm with a dive.  Guns kill Roode with a double head kick and hit the Skull & Bones.  Storm pulls the referee out of the ring.  Shelley takes Storm out with another dive.  Sabin goes for a springboard DDT, but Roode counters and hits a Northern Lights suplex hold for 2.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Beer Money hit Sabin with the DWI.  SABIN KICKS OUT!  Roode argues with the referee.  They go for it again, but fail.  Sabin accidentally kicks Shelley in the face.  Roode schoolboys Sabin and grabs a handful of tights for the pin in 17:58.  REALLY freaking good match.  I loved this so much.

Christy Hemme interviews Brother Devon.

Devon/Ray hype video.

Bully Ray vs. Brother Devon.  Devon rushes the ring.  Bubba bails.  Devon goes after him.  Bubba hides behind So Cal Val again.  Devon says “fuck this” and starts kicking Bubba’s ass.  Devon kicks Bubba’s ass at ringside for a while, then they finally get in the ring to start the match.  Ray begs off and apologizes.  Ray goes for a low blow, but Devon blocks it and kicks his ass.  Devon hits a lariat for 2.  Devon hits a Thesz press and punches.  Devon slams Bubba and goes up top.  Bubba bails again.  Devon goes after him and kicks his ass some more.  They brawl in the crowd.  Why not?  It’s not like there are rules or anything.  Devon hits Bubba with a shoe.  Bubba gets the jump on Devon coming back into the ring.  Bubba gets cocky and starts beating up Devon.  Devon begs for more.  Bubba cheap shots him in the eyes.  Bubba administers a shit kicking.  Devon rallies and tries to come off the top.  Bubba catches him in midair with an Ace Crusher for 2.  Devon counters the Bubba Bomb and hits a big Ron Simmons-style spinebuster for 2.  Devon goes up top.  Bubba crotches him and hits a superplex for 2.  Bubba tries to use a chain and fails.  Devon makes his comeback and probably almost throws his back out giving Bubba a back body drop.  Devon gets hold of the chain and whips Bubba with it to cause the DQ in 8:48.  Okay brawl.  Devon keeps beating on Bubba.  Referees come out to break it up, so of course they keep fighting.  D’Lo Brown, Pat Kenney, and security geeks come out to help.  Ray gets in one more cheap shot and bails.

Christy Hemme interviews Jeff Jarrett.  He explains the rules of this stupid MMA match.  There’s 3 2 minute rounds and some other bullshit.

TNA World Television Championship Match: Douglas Williams (c) vs. Abyss.  Williams is selling the hand that AJ Styles injured on iMPACT recently.  Abyss tries to stop the hand.  Williams bails.  Back inside, Williams goes for a slingshot sunset flip and narrowly avoids being sat on.  Williams counters a slam, then gets a schoolboy for 2.  Abyss sends Williams’ shoulder into the post.  Abyss rams Williams’ injured hand into the post.  Abyss beats up Williams on the outside.  Back inside, Williams tries to rally and comes off the top.  Abyss tries to chokeslam him, fails, but lands a big boot.  Williams is forced to bail again.  Williams lands some blows outside.  Abyss rams the injured hand into the barricade.  Abyss picks up the belt and tries to hit Williams’ hand with it.  Williams avoids the blow, but gets beaten down anyway.  Back inside, Abyss stomps on Williams’ hand.  Abyss keeps the heat going on Williams.  Williams lands a diving European uppercut.  Williams hits Abyss with a flurry of blows and goes for a German.  Abyss grabs his hand.  Williams fights back and hits a backdrop suplex.  Williams hits a diving knee drop for 2.  Williams goes for a running knee to the corner, but Abyss catches him and chokeslams him.  Cover, but Williams grabs the bottom rope.  Abyss retrieves the nail board from under the ring to distract the referee.  AJ Styles appears and hits Williams with the title belt.  Abyss comes back in and hits the Black Hole Slam for the pin in 9:46.  Three titles for Immortal tonight.  Okay match.

Eric Bischoff and Rob Van Dam bicker backstage.  RVD says he wants Hardy tonight.  Bischoff says he has Hardy.

Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy.  Well, Bischoff DID say RVD had Hardy tonight, but he didn’t say WHICH Hardy.  Matt looks like a tard with colored dreadlocks.  Hardy offers a handshake.  RVD isn’t buying it.  Hardy decks him and they brawl.  Hardy hits a sleeper drop and dances around.  RVD drops him with a kick.  RVD hits the springboard kick and some more kicks, because he really likes to kick.  RVD sends Hardy to the apron and kicks him into the guardrail.  RVD kicks Hardy to the floor again before he can get back in and lands an Asai moonsault.  Back inside, RVD hits a diving cross body for 2.  RVD counters the Twist of Fate.  Hardy kind of waist locks RVD into the corner.  Hardy hits a sloppy bulldog headlock for 2.  Hardy hits a full nelson Stroke for 2.  Hardy does the RVD thumb point.  Hardy hits a neckbreaker and goes to the middle rope.  RVD catches him coming down with a spin kick.  Hardy hits the Side Effect for 2.  This match is really clunky.  Hardy applies a rear chin lock.  RVD escapes and lands a head kick, then does his wonky leg cradle for 2.  They trade punches.  RVD makes his comeback.  RVD mows down Hardy with another spin kick.  Another kick.  Cover gets 2.  Hardy gets an inside cradle for 2.  RVD hits the diving kick, Rolling Thunder, and the Five Star Frog Splash.  Hardy’s hand is kind of under the rope, but not really.  RVD stomps on him.  The ref gets in the way.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate for the pin in 11:50, even though RVD’s foot was clearly under the ropes.  This.  Was not good.  At all.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.

Jarrett/Angle hype video.

MMA Exhibition Match: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Kurt Angle.  Angle promises to break the neck of any of Jarrett’s geeks who might interfere.  Round 1: Jarrett plays chickenshit and tries to stay away.  Angle lies down and offers Jarrett his guard.  Jarrett challenges him to stand up.  This shit is ridiculous.  Angle goes after Jarrett, who hides in the ropes.  There are no rope breaks in MMA, morons.  Angle tires of this shit, takes Jarrett down, and applies a rear naked choke as the round ends.  Jarrett consults with his corner men, Gunner and Murphy.  Round 2: Angle challenges Jarrett to go for a takedown.  Jarrett tries and fails.  Angle goes for a Kimura, then lets go.  Angle takes Jarrett down and applies an arm triangle.  And lets go again.  Angle does a gator roll.  Jarrett gets a rope break in the MMA fight.  Angle throws Jarrett down and applies a cross armbreaker.  And lets go again.  Angle applies the ankle lock.  The round ends.  At least the rounds have been exactly 2 minutes.  Jarrett spits or vomits or something.  More encouragement from the corner geeks.  “ANGLE’S GONNA KILL YOU!” chants.  Round 3: Jarrett has greased his arms.  It gets in Angle’s eyes.  The referee throws it out 27 seconds into the third round.  I think Angle wins by DQ.  Angle is bleeding.  Jarrett continues beating him up.  Jarrett says he’s retiring and bringing his wife/Angle’s ex to the retirement party.  Well this was all stupid.

Tenay and Taz talk.  Jarrett yells at Taz for some reason.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy.

Morgan/Anderson hype video.

Tale of the Tape.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender Match: Matt Morgan vs. Ken Anderson.  In-ring intros and all of that jazz.  Morgan grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Anderson grabs a headlock and tries a shoulder block, which has no effect on the much larger Morgan.  Morgan does a leap frog and hits a sloppy hip toss.  Anderson avoids something and gets a one count.  Morgan beats up Anderson and abuses his head a bunch.  Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint to the apron, but Anderson avoids it.  Morgan crotches himself and falls to the floor.  Morgan rams Anderson’s back into the post.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Morgan chokes Anderson with his boot, then hits the revolving elbows in the corner.  Anderson avoids a charge and takes out Morgan’s knee.  Anderson works the leg and applies a half crab.  Morgan gets a rope break and tries to slap feeling back into his leg.  They brawl.  Morgan hits a chokeslam off the top rope!  Anderson kicks out!  Morgan hits some short range lariats.  Anderson counters the discus lariat and hits the Mic Check out of nowhere for 2.  They trade punches for a while.  Morgan decapitates Anderson with the Carbon Footprint for 2.  He goes for another one.  Anderson ducks and hits the Mic Check again.  Delayed cover gets 2.  Morgan counters another Mic Check attempt.  Anderson lands an elbow smash, then catches Morgan with an inside cradle for the pin in 15:24.  This wasn’t good either.

Eric Bischoff comes out with a steel chair.  He sets up the chair, then sits down and tells Anderson that he’s getting his title shot RIGHT NOW!  Hardy comes out in acid washed jeans and a jacket & tie, smoking a cigarette.  He looks a lot like Raven.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Ken Anderson.  Hardy attacks Anderson.  Twist of Hate gets 2.  Hardy argues with the referee.  Morgan is still at ringside.  That may come into play later.  Another Twist of Hate gets 2.  Hardy can’t believe this shit.  Anderson manages to throw Hardy out of the ring.  Behind the referee’s back, Morgan gives Hardy the discus lariat and throws him back into the ring.  Anderson covers for 2.  They trade punches.  Anderson gets rolling and hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson has Hardy reeling now.  Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind.  Anderson rolls to the floor.  Hardy grabs a chair.  Mick Foley appears and takes it away from him.  Ric Flair comes out.  Security geeks hold him back.  Hardy rolls Anderson back into the ring and goes up top.  Anderson crotches him and goes for a superplex.  Hardy fights him off hits the Swanton Bomb.  Anderson kicks out again!  There is no denying him tonight!  Anderson hits the Lambeau Leap.  Hardy hits a clothesline, then calls for the cavalry.  Matt Hardy runs in.  Rob Van Dam cuts him off and they brawl to the back.  Eric Bischoff appears in the ring and tries to hit Anderson with a chair.  Anderson stops him and hits the Mic Check.  Jeff comes back in and goes for the Twist of Hate.  Anderson counters and hits the Mic Check for the pin 9:06!  New World Champion!  Okayish match.  Immortal look on unhappily as Anderson celebrates with the fugly purple belt.  Some fan with a sign gets in the ring.  Anderson announces himself as the NEW World Champion.

There were a couple of really good matches on this show and a whole lot of crap.  I’ll give it a thumbs VERY SLIGHTLY up.

TNA iMPACT! 1/6/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 5, 2011 by Grappleholic

Video package of recent goings on.

“Genesis… The Beginning… Or the End?”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Immortal come to the ring: Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, AJ Styles, Beer Money, Kazarian, Rob Terry, Abyss, Jeff Jarrett, Gunner, and Murphy.  Bischoff blathers about how Immortal are going to win all the titles fair and square.  He brings out the champions: TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal, TNA World Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns, and TNA World Television Champion Doug Williams.  He books them in “tune up matches” tonight: Lethal vs. Abyss, Williams vs. Terry, and the Guns vs. Styles & Kazarian.  Bischoff asks them to shake hands.  Immortal jump the champions.  Bischoff pretends to be mad at them.  Rob Van Dam comes out and makes the save.  By himself.  He’s pissed off and wants a shot at Jeff Hardy.  He wants to know who his opponent is at Genesis.  Bischoff won’t tell him.  What a dick!  RVD offers to beat it out of him.  Bischoff says Abyss will “kill” RVD.

Brother Ray cuts a promo to the camera at Brother Devon.  He wants to fight in the parking lot or something.  Commercials!

Jeff Jarrett: MMA Specialist video package.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Jeff Jarrett comes out with Gunner, Murphy, and his other geeks.  He’s now changed into his gear, even though he was in street clothes 4 minutes ago.  He talks about the new rules he made last week to protect him from getting his ass kicked.  There’s some Twilight queer in the crowd.  Boo Boo Stewart?  Jarrett won’t fight him because he will be taller than him one day.  They pick a guy who looks like a midget Tyler Black.  His name is Jonathan Cruz.  He signs the contract.  He’s an idiot.

MMA Exhibition: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Jonathan Cruz.  Jarrett beats up the geek and wins with the ankle lock in 45 seconds.  Jarrett refuses to break the hold.  KURT ANGLE comes in through the crowd and chases Jarrett away.  Angle signs the contract to face Jarrett at Genesis!  Jarrett says Angle swore to never wrestle in TNA again.  Angle says it’s an exhibition.  It’s ON!  Commercials!

Moments ago, ^ happened!

Non-Title: AJ Styles & Kazarian vs. TNA World Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns.  Guns attack, clear the ring, and hit Styles and Kazarian with a double suicide dive.  Guns double team Styles back inside.  The heels cut off Sabin and work him over.  Sabin plays face in peril, then rallies and drops Kazarian with a lariat.  Shelley and Styles tag in.  Shelley runs wild and avoids being double teamed.  He takes Kazarian out with a dive.  Back inside, Styles and Shelley do an awesome countering sequence.  Shelley hits a brainbuster.  Kazarian saves.  Shelley back body drops him to the floor.  Styles tries to hit Shelley with the belt.  Shelley ducks.  Sabin superkicks Styles.  Shelley hits the Shiranui on Styles for the pin in 4:47.  Good little match.  Beer Money appear and beat down the Guns.  Eric Bischoff comes out and looks pissed off at Styles.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero bitches about how someone has been following him around with a camera.  He says he’s going to find them and demand an apology.  Yeah, kick that TNA camera man’s ass!  Commercials.

Eric Bischoff at Ric Flair bitch at AJ Styles in the office.  Bischoff tells him to get the job done this Sunday or else!

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is in the ring.  He calls out whoever is video taping him.  Samoa Joe comes out.  Is Joe a paparazzi now?  Joe spouts off some philosophical stuff about Pope being a false prophet or something.  He talks about how Pope pretends to be doing good deeds, but he’s actually a dick.  Pope defends his going to strip clubs and adopting puppies.  He warns Joe against falsely accusing him again.  This is stupid.

Mickie James & Velvet Sky are headed our way!  Commercials!

Brother Devon says he’ll go fight Ray in the parking lot tonight.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne & Sarita (w/ Tara) vs. Mickie James & Velvet Sky.  Velvet attacks Sarita.  Velvet tries, but everything she does looks horrible.  Velvet gets cut off via heel chicanery and plays face in peril.  This goes on for some time and is very uninteresting.  Velvet makes a comeback, but Madison cuts her off.  Mickie comes in and kicks Madison’s ass.  As the referee tries to regain control, Tara hits Velvet with the elbow brace.  Sarita pins Velvet in 4:34.  This sucked.

RVD bitches at Eric Bischoff in the office.  Bischoff says he has a match tonight.  Against another mystery opponent.  Commercials.

Non-Title: Rob Terry vs. TNA World Television Champion Douglas Williams.  Williams smoothly eludes the larger Terry.  Terry finally connects with a shoulder block that sends Williams to the floor.  AJ Styles attacks Williams to cause the DQ in 1:10.  Lame.  Styles and Terry injure Williams’ hand.

Brother Ray is going to the parking lot.  Commercials.

Brother Ray and Brother Ray are in the parking lot now.  Ray hides behind security and talks shit.  Of course, this goes on way too long.  Bubba finally attacks Devon while security is holding him back.  He warns Devon against showing up at Genesis.

Jeff Jarrett tells Eric Bischoff that he has a plan for Sunday.  Bischoff asks Jarrett to shoot RVD.  Jarrett is worried about Kurt Angle interfering.  Bischoff makes him feel better by making it No DQ.  Huh?

Non-Title: Abyss vs. TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal.  Entrances, commercials, bell.  At least they waited for me.  Lethal tries to take down Abyss and fails miserably.  Abyss tries to throw Lethal around and succeeds magnificently.  Lethal uses his speed to try to gain the upperhand.  He kicks Abyss in the leg and lands a dropkick.  Abyss tries to chokeslam him.  Lethal hits a handspring elbow.  He finally knocks Abyss down with a missile dropkick for 2.  Abyss catches Lethal with the Black Hole Slam.  Cover, but Abyss pulls Lethal up at 2.  Abyss beats on Lethal in the corner.  The ref DQs him in 3:27.  Lame.  Abyss shoves down the referee.  Continuing tonight’s trend, Kazarian comes down.  He pretends to beg Abyss to stop beating up Lethal.  He taunts Lethal, asking him to stand up.  Abyss holds Lethal up and forces him to shake Kazarian’s hand.

Up next, Mike Tenay’s sit down interview with Matt Morgan and Mr. Anderson!  Commercials.

Genesis hype.

Mike Tenay’s sit down interview with Matt Morgan and Mr. Anderson.  Same ol’ shit.

RVD vs. Jeff Jarrett is NEXT!  Commercials!

No DQ Match: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Rob Van Dam.  To the best of my knowledge, this is the first time these two have ever wrestled.  Tenay says it’s true, which means I’m probably wrong.  Jarrett runs around in circles like a geek.  RVD and the referee both insist that some contact be made.  Jarrett throws a kick.  RVD catches it and drops Jarrett with his “kick over the kick” move and does the “Rob Van Dam” thumb point.  Jarrett pokes RVD in the eye.  RVD drops him with another kick.  RVD beats up Jarrett in the corner.  RVD hits a springboard kick and goes for the Rolling Thunder.  Jarrett bails and runs around the ring.  RVD decks Jarrett again.  Murphy trips RVD, allowing Jarrett to get the advantage.  Jarrett applies a sleeper hold.  RVD escapes and makes his comeback.  One of the geeks runs in.  RVD throws him out of the ring and brings in a chair.  Other geeks run in.  RVD kicks their asses.  Gunner and Murphy beat down RVD and hold him for Jarrett.  Jarrett tells them to let him go.  RVD drops all of them with kicks.  TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy appears and gives RVD the Twist of Hate.  Jarrett gets the pin in 5:26.  Lame and overbooked.  Jarrett and Hardy beat down RVD.  Matt Morgan runs in to make the save.  Hardy tries to hit him with a chair.  Mr. Anderson appears, grabs the chair, and accidentally hits Morgan.  Oh noes!  Was it REALLY an accident?

As crappy as this show was, they’ve done WAY worse.

TNA iMPACT! 12/30/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 17, 2011 by Grappleholic

The usual video package of recent happenings.

“The Con Game?”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Mick Foley comes out and calls out Ken Anderson.  Anderson comes out.  They talk about visiting wounded soldiers with Miss America.  They bicker about whether or not Anderson should wrestle.  Anderson’s concussion was like 2 months ago.  I’m sure he’s fine now.  He says he’s fine and he’s been cleared.  I’m sure he has.  I wish they’d be done with this stupid story already.  Matt Morgan comes out.  Morgan accuses Anderson  of trying to con him.  I don’t get it.  They bicker.  Anderson wants to fight now.  Foley gets between them.  TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy comes out.  Apparently he has booking power now, because he announces that Anderson and Morgan will be on opposing sides of a tag match with mystery partners tonight.

Backstage, Eric Young is dressed as Father Time, but he thinks he’s Moses.  Orlando Jordan is Baby New Year.  Jordan still thinks they’re gay and Young still thinks they’re a tag team.  Stupid.

Tonight, Sarita vs. Velvet Sky in Strap Match!  Double J Double M A Challenge!  Anderson & ? vs. Morgan & ?!

Robert Roode (w/ James Storm) vs. TNA World Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin (w/ TNA World Tag Team Champion Alex Shelley).  They lock up and trade arm locks.  That’s always a fine way to start.  Roode grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Sabin hits arm drags and wrenches Roode’s arm.  Sabin sends Roode outside and hits a cross body off the top rope to the floor.  Back inside, Sabin tries to springboard.  Roode counters him and hits a modified Samoan drop for 2.  Roode chokes Sabin with his boot.  Sabin gets a sunset flip for 2.  Roode hits a clothesline that Sabin does a 360 bump for.  Cover gets 2.  Roode applies a rear chin lock.  Sabin escapes and makes his comeback.  Sabin hits a diving rana and a springboard lariat for 2.  Roode gets a sunset flip for 2.  Sabin turns it into a Gedo Clutch like move for 2.  Sabin hits an enzuigiri.  Cover, but Storm grabs the referee’s foot.  Nothing comes of that.  Sabin goes for the springboard tornado DDT, but Roode counters and hits the spinebuster for the pin in 6:04.  Good match.

Rob Van Dam talks to no one in particular.  He’s headed our way.

Eric Young sits on Orlando Jordan’s lap backstage.  He doesn’t understand why he’s doing it.  Shark Boy comes in and begs for TV time.  He drinks beer so he can be sit on Jordan’s lap.  Stupid shit.

Rob Van Dam comes out and bitches about Eric Bischoff.  He has a mystery opponent tonight.  He says it doesn’t matter, he’ll keep going through people until he gets Jeff Hardy.  The Shore tard is his mystery opponent.  Ugh.

Rob Van Dam vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie).  Robbie jerks off the air like a retard.  RVD does his thumb pointing gimmick and kicks the idiot in the chest.  RVD beats up the Shore tard.  RVD goes for the Rolling Thunder, but Cookie grabs his foot.  Robbie gets heat on RVD, which is absurd.  RVD rallies and hits the springboard kick and a Rolling Thunder splash.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 2:14.  At least that tard is getting jobbed out now.  Jeff Hardy appears on the screen.  He says he’ll face RVD if RVD beats his chosen mystery opponent at Genesis.  I’m calling Matt Hardy.

Still to come, Anderson & ? vs. Morgan & ?!

Kazarian and some bimbos are headed our way!

Sarita talks shit about Velvet Sky to the camera.

Kazarian comes out and cuts a promo.  They show clips of the video from a few months ago where Jay Lethal visited his family.  Kazarian talks shit about them being poor.  He makes some borderline racist remarks and talks shit about Lethal’s mother.  TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal comes out to kick Kazarian’s ass.  Kazarian immediately whacks him with an object.  When was the last time they actually tried to promote an X Division title match?

Mick Foley is walking around backstage!

Mick Foley walks into the office to talk to Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair.  He’s still upset about Anderson’s brain and wants to know who the partners are going to be in the mystery tag match.  He says he’ll be at ringside tonight.

Strap Match: Velvet Sky vs. Sarita.  Sarita, having just cut a promo about how she was looking forward to the strap match, doesn’t want to strap up.  The referee makes her.  Sarita bails, but SHE’S TIED TO HER OPPONENT BY THE FUCKING STRAP.  Velvet pulls her back.  Sarita whips her.  They do the usual strap match bullshit.  The strap comes untied from Sarita.  The referee secures it back.  Velvet whips Sarita and chokes her with the strap.  Velvet drags Sarita around and touches 3 corners.  Sarita touches them too.  Sarita throws Velvet over and touches the last corner to win in 2:59.  This was awful.  Sarita attacks Velvet again after the match.  Angelina Love makes the save.

Back to the freak party.  Brian Kendrick has joined Young, Jordan, and Shark Boy.  Young waves a stick around like a moron.  Jordan berates him for “poking other guys with his staff.”  Everyone, even Jordan, wants women to show up.

Still to come, Double J Double M A Challenge!  The mystery partners match!

During the break, Velvet Sky threw a fit and stormed to the back.

Now, Angelina Love attacks Sarita backstage.  I guess it’s time for our weekly long, boring women’s brawl.  Winter saves Love from Sarita, even though Love started it.  Winter consoles Love.

Still to come, the mystery partners match!

2010 year in review/2011 hype video.

Double J Double M A Challenge is NEXT!

Doug Williams is in a tag match tonight, but has no partner.  That’s like a plague in TNA.  Brutus Magnus volunteers to be his partner.  The British Invasion is BACK!

Jeff Jarrett comes out with Gunner, Murphy, and his other geeks to do the MMA thing.  Amazing Red agreed to bring his “baby brother” this week.  Red comes out alone.  Jarrett agrees to stand on his knees and give Red’s brother the first shot.  A big, jacked up, tattooed dude comes out.

$100,000 MMA Challenge: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Amazing Red’s Baby Brother (w/ Amazing Red).  Jarrett tries to click.  That fails.  He tries again.  Big Red takes Jarrett down with a Fujiwara armbar, but Jarrett was in the ropes.  Big Red gets a knee lock.  Another rope break.  These people don’t know how MMA works.  Jarrett gets off his ass and beats up Big Red.  He goes for the ankle lock, but Big Red reverses it.  Gunner and Murphy pull Jarrett out of the ring.  Red beats up the little one.  The ref throws it out in 2:03.  Jarrett tries to use the guitar, but Amazing Red takes it from him and smashes it.  Jarrett bails and has Gunner and Murphy pretend to hold him back.  This was retarded.

Still to come, mystery partners tag match.  Next, AJ Styles & Rob Terry against the reunited British Invasion.

Jeff Jarrett complains to Eric Bischoff.  From now on, his fights will be against shorter opponents and they’ll only be exhibitions.  What’s the point of that?  They’re also just now going to start having people sign waivers.  This company is so fucking retarded.

AJ Styles & Rob Terry vs. TNA World Television Champion Douglas Williams & Magnus.  Styles grabs Magnus in a side headlock.  Magnus give him a hip toss, then wrenches his arm.  Styles rakes Magnus’ eyes and demands that Williams tag in.  Williams obliges.  Styles immediately tags in Terry.  Terry beats up Williams.  Styles tags in and goes for the Styles Clash, but Williams counters.  Styles immediately tags back out.  Terry beats up Williams some more.  Styles comes in to pick up the scraps again.  Williams avoids Styles in the corner and hits an Exploder.  Magnus gets the tag and runs wild on Styles.  Magnus hits a running powerslam.  Terry saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Styles sends Williams outside.  Styles hits the Chaos Theory on Magnus for the pin in 4:55.  It was okay.

Madison Rayne is DRESSED UP and headed our way.

Generation Me and Tara join the freak party backstage.  Jordan hits on Tara.  A fight breaks out.  Ugh.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne comes out in a gown with some dudes in suits.  I predict that this segment will be pointless and horrible.  She makes So Cal Val hand her a microphone, then talks in her obnoxious, nails on a chalkboard voice.  She talks shit about Mickie James.  Mickie comes out and kicks her ass.  Madison gets her dress ripped off and tries to act like she’s self conscious about being in her underwear.

Mystery partners tag match is next!

“The  Pope” D’Angelo Dinero talks to a guy about adopting pit bull puppies for poor children.  Ugh.

Mick Foley comes out to do commentary on the main event.

Ken Anderson & Brother Ray vs. Matt Morgan & Brother Devon.  Devon and Anderson start.  Devon wants Ray, but Ray pussies out and drops off the apron.  Eric Bischoff comes out and sends Gunner and Murphy after Foley.  Ray jumps Devon from behind in the ring.  Anderson and Devon do some stuff.  Foley decks Gunner and Murphy and puts Mr. Socko on the little one.  End of show.  Awful shit.

TNA ends the year in typical fashion: with a fucking horrible pro wrestling show.

TNA iMPACT! 12/23/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 27, 2010 by Grappleholic

Video package of recent happenings.

“All The Gold Is Worth A Fortune”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Immortal come out.  There are scales in the ring because they’re doing a stupid weigh in for the Morgan/Anderson PPV match.  Flair introduces new member Rob Terry.  Bischoff babbles.  They have “doctors” there.  Matt Morgan comes out and talks about how stupid this shit is.  He threatens to stick a boot up someone’s ass.  Mick Foley comes out and talks about concussions.  Flair bitches at Foley for causing backyard garbage wrestling to exist.  The Flair/Foley promo battle is fucking great.  Bischoff screams some retarded bile at Foley.  That is NOT great.  The Flair/Foley stuff was great.  Everything else about this was dumb.

iMPACT! open.

Tonight, AJ Styles vs. Doug Williams in an Iron Match!  Finals of the Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament!  A retarded eight-man tag for the tag team championship!  Up next, a Double J Double M A challenge!  Commercials.

Matt Morgan and Jeff Hardy chat in the locker room.  Apparently Morgan’s rank is such that he doesn’t have to dress in a trailer.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Jeff Jarrett comes out with Gunner, Murphy, and his other geeks.  Jarrett challenges Amazing Red.  Jarrett’s cut man puts Vaseline in Red’s eyes.

$100,000 MMA Challenge: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Amazing Red.  Jarrett kicks Red’s ass and submits him with an ankle lock in 49 seconds.  Jarrett helps Red up and asks he has any kids in his family that Jarrett can beat up.  Red says he’ll bring his little brother next week.

Madison Rayne and Tara are getting ready in their trailer.

Still to come, some bullshit!  Commercials.

Rob Van Dam talks to no one in particular backstage.

Four-Way Match to determine the #1 Contender for the TNA X Division Championship: Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie) vs. Kazarian.  TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal comes out to do commentary.  They show Lethal winning the title back from the Shore tard last week.  It’s tag team rules.  Kazarian convinces the Bucks to start against each other.  They just pose instead.  Robbie does that gay retarded jerking off motion.  The Bucks tag him in and kick his ass.  Cookie trips Max so the Jersey Fagtard can get the advantage.  Kazarian stays on the apron except for when he comes in to make the save on every cover.  Bucks beat up Robbie some more.  The video gets weird, either through broadcasting problems or shitty camera work.  Kazarian tags in and hits the Axe Guillotine Driver on Jeremy Buck for the pin in 3:35.  Whatever.

Velvet Sky is looking in the mirror.  Sarita walks into the room.  Commercials.

During the break, Sarita and Velvet Sky brawled backstage for about 6 hours.  Sarita leaves her lying.  Angelina Love finds Velvet, who says she can’t breathe.

Eric Bischoff gives Immortal the usual lecture about belts.

Tonight, eight-man tag for the 2 man tag belts, because that’s TNA!  Next, the women have a shitty match!  Commercials.

Brian Kendrick lectures the caterers.  A woman gives him a cookie to make him go away.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Tournament – Final: TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne & Tara vs. Angelina Love.  Angelina is forced to go it alone.  She schools Madison early.  It’s horrible.  Love hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Tara interferes from the apron, allowing Rayne to get the advantage.  Love gets beaten up for a while.  Winter comes out and gets in the corner.  Love makes the hot tag to her.  Winter shakes Ryane’s head around, then kicks Tara in the gut.  Winter hits a crappy spinning slam on Rayne for the pin in 4:51.  Love & Winter win the titles.  This sucked.  Love is confused, even though she gave Winter the hot tag.  Tara doesn’t know who Winter is, so she doesn’t watch this show and didn’t watch WWE for a few years while she was with the company.  Commercials.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is outside talking on the phone.  Eric Young and Orlando Jordan walk up.  Young is a reindeer and Orlando Jordan is dressed as gay Santa.  They give Pope money.

Iron Man Match for the TNA World Television Championship: Douglas Williams (c) vs. AJ Styles.  It’s a 15 minute Iron Man Match.  That’s stupid.  They exchange holds, which is always a good way to start.  Styles finally backs Williams into the corner and cheap shots him with an elbow to the face.  Williams rallies and hits a running knee to the corner.  Commercials.  Styles has Williams in a rear chin lock.  OF COURSE, since this is TNA, there was a fall during the break, as Styles got the pin with the Styles Clash.  Williams lands a European uppercut.  Styles bails.  After fucking about for a bit, Styles pulls Williams out of the ring and rams his head into the steps.  Styles goes into the ring and orders Hebner to count.  Williams immediately comes back in.  Styles works Williams over.  Williams goes for a sunset flip.  Styles holds onto the ropes.  Hebner kicks his hands away like a dick and an interfering referee.  Williams gets some cradles for 2 counts.  Styles lands a forearm smash.  He goes for a springboard, but Williams catches him and hits an Exploder.  Williams makes his comeback.  Styles throws Williams out of the ring.  Williams comes back in and hits the Chaos Theory for the pin in 14:45.  The time limit expires in 15:09.  They agree to 5 more minutes.  Commercials.  The fuck?  OT is JIP.  Williams hits a DDT for 2.  Styles hit the springboard forearm for 2.  Williams hits an Alabama Slam for 2.  Styles hits the Pele kick for 2.  Williams goes for a backdrop suplex off the top rope, but Styles holds on to the Christmas bow around the post.  Williams hits it anyway.  The time limit expires after about 4 minutes.  Styles challenges Williams to a match at Genesis.  Williams says no.  They argue.  Williams says he’ll do it if Styles agrees to leave Fortune if he loses.  Styles refuses.  Eric Bischoff comes out and makes the match with the aforementioned stipulation.  Williams and Styles had a very good match.  This wasn’t it, but they have had one.

Beer Money hype up their team backstage.

Up next, they’ll call Mr. Anderson on the phone!  Commercials.

House shows!

Tenay and Taz talk to Mr. Anderson via satellite.  So Anderson is in “his home in Green Bay, Wisconsin,” but they expected him to come out for a fucking weigh in earlier?  This damn company is so fucking retarded.  Fuck this fucking company.  Anderson gets mad when they ask him for paper work.

The Motor City Machine Guns and Rob Van Dam are hyped up for their match.  Matt Morgan is mad about what Anderson said.

Stupid eight-man thing is next.  Commercials.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy, Beer Money, & Abyss vs. The Motor City Machine Guns (c), Rob Van Dam, & Matt Morgan.  Entrances, commercials.  Match is JIP.  RVD lands some kicks on Storm.  Morgan and Roode tag in.  Morgan does the revolving elbows in the corner.  Roode comes off the top rope, but gets caught.  Morgan gives him a fall away slam.  Sabin tags in and kicks Roode in the gut.  Roode gets a reverse cradle, but Shelley tags in in the process.  Guns double team Roode.  Roode counters the Shiranui.  Storm pulls Shelley into the turnbuckles.  Roode hits a neckbreaker.  The heels take turns working over Shelley for a while.  Beer Money hit the double suplex and do the “BEER!”  “MONEY!” thing.  Shelley knocks down Storm.  Hardy tags in and cuts him off.  Hardy clamps on a rear chin lock.  The show ends.

This was just a meaningless, lame duck show full of TNA bullshit.

TNA Slammiversary 2009 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling, Cross The Line!  Cool opening music video.  Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to the Palace of Auburn Hills for the 7th Anniversary of TNA!  We’re kicking things off tonight with the X Division Championship!

It’s a King of the Mountain Ladder Match.  If you don’t know what that is, it’s basically a reverse ladder match where you have to hang the belt up to win.  You have to win a fall by pin or submission to eligible to hang the belt, and if you get pinned or submit, you have to spend 2 minutes in the penalty box.  Simple enough, right?  Curtis Granderson from the Detroit Tigers is the special guest belt holder for this match.

King of the Mountain Ladder Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Suicide (c) vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal vs. IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champion Alex Shelley vs. Consequences Creed vs. IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin.  The Motor City Machine Guns and Lethal Consequences all want to unmask Suicide, so it’s 4 on 1 to start.  Being just outside of Detroit, the crowd is very pro-Guns.  Suicide pins Lethal about 2 minutes in after nailing everyone with the ladder, so he’s eligible.  Guns and Creed triple team Suicide while Lethal waits it out in the penalty box.  Suicide either botches a monkey flip or hits a revere lung blower on Shelley for a pin, so Shelley is sent to the penalty box while Lethal is released.  Sabin throws a chair at Suicide.  Lethal hits a Lethal Combination on Suicide onto the chair.  Lethal and Sabin fight over who is going to make the cover.  All 3 guys pile up on Suicide and pin him.  Lethal was on bottom, so he is the one who is eligible.  Guns and Lethal Consequences dance, then the Guns attack them.  Guns show their usual awesome teamwork against Lethal Consequences.  Sabin is knocked to the outside, then Creed gets a pin on Shelley after the TKO.  Suicide is released as Shelley is sent back to the box.  Lethal Consequences double team Suicide.  Sabin comes back in and goes for the Cradle Shock on Suicide, but gets counter and monkey flipped onto a ladder.  Lethal holds Suicide on the outside for Creed to hit a somersault plancha.  Suicide, Lethal, and Creed fight up the aisle.  Sabin runs up the ladder to the box and hits a dive onto all 3 of them.  That was awesome.  Shelley is released and starts climbing the ladder, even though he doesn’t have the belt and isn’t eligible anyway.  Sabin lets Shelley pin him.  Shelley goes up with the belt, but Suicide hits a missile dropkick on the ladder.  Creed whips Suicide face first into the ladder.  Lethal balances on the ladder, which is set up on the turnbuckle.  Suicide front suplexes Creed onto the ladder, which slingshots Lethal into a nasty bump.  Sabin is released from the box and pins Lethal after a sick tornado DDT.  Everyone is eligible to hang the belt now.  Creed hits a move on Lethal, then Shelley hits a move on Creed.  Suicide hits a jumping DDT on Shelley.  Sabin hits the Cradle Shock on Suicide, then tries to hang the belt.  Suicide stops him.  Sabin takes him out and goes for it again, but Lethal makes it back in and backdrops him off the ladder.  Shelley hits a frog splash on Lethal, then superkicks Suicide.  Shelley lays out the ladder between the ring and the barricade.  Creed lands a kick on Shelley to send him out of the ring, then slams Suicide.  Lethal goes up top, but Sabin stops him.  Suicide dropkicks Sabin off the apron and onto the ladder.  Shelley hits a dive onto Suicide that the camera misses.  Lethal hits an elbow onto Sabin, who was still lying across the ladder.  “THIS IS AWESOME” chants.  Shelley and Creed fight on the apron.  Shelley lands a superkick, then the Shiranui on the apron.  Ouch.  Suicide and Shelley trade shots.  Shelley goes for the Shiranui off the cage, but Suicide counters and dropkicks him over the guardrail.  Suicide gets the belt and hangs up the ladder.  Crowd is booing him.  Lethal pushes the ladder over, but Suicide catches the ropes with the Captain Morgan pose and goes to the top of the box.  Shenanigans ensue and the ladder ends up being set up horizontally over the box and Lethal’s back.  Shelley sets up another ladder and goes for it, but Suicide jumps off the horizontal ladder and takes him down with a neckbreaker, then hangs the belt for the win at 23:28.  Really good match.  The lights go out and Suicide disappears.  I wish he’d disappear for good.

Tenay and West run down the rest of the card.

Lauren Brooke says Team 3D haven’t arrived back from Japan yet, then interviews Shane Douglas, followed by a Daniels/Douglas video package.  If Douglas beats Daniels, he gets Daniels’ spot on the roster.  If Douglas loses, he leaves.

“The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. The Daniels formerly known as Christopher.  What the hell happened to Daniels’ first name anyway?  Douglas wrestles in a t-shirt.  Daniels works a headlock.  Douglas bails.  Daniels teases a dive, which Douglas avoids, but Daniels hits the split-legged moonsault.  Douglas works on Daniels’ arm.  Daniels gets a rope break and makes his comeback.  Daniels thinks BME, but Douglas stops him with a kick to the head.  They trade shots.  Douglas goes for the belly to belly, but Daniels drops him with an STO and hits the BME for the win at 8:14.  This wasn’t long enough to be offensive, thankfully.

Jeremy Borash interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Mick Foley.  Foley thinks Jeff Jarrett is going to help him retain the title for some reason.

Love/Tara video package.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Angelina Love (c) (w/ Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) vs. Tara.  Tara is Victoria, for anyone who doesn’t know.  Love shows off a little bit, then Tara kicks her ass.  Love bails.  Tara teases a dive, then dropkicks her into the barricade.  The other Beautiful People attack Tara from behind, then throw her back in the ring.  Love schoolgirls her for a quick 2.  Love gets heat on her for a bit, including more interference from Sky and Rayne at ringside.  Tara makes her comeback and hits a spinning slam thing, then goes outside and slaps the shit out of Sky, then Rayne.  Tara goes back in.  Love catches her with a kick, then Sky sprays hair spray on Tara’s face.  Love hits a Flatliner (called the Lights Out) for the win at 6:53.  Not awful, but nothing special.

Lauren interviews Dr. Stevie Richards, Raven, and Daffney.  Raven cuts his usual insane, yet awesome promo, then hugs Stevie and cries.  Monster’s Ball video package.

Monster’s Ball Match: Raven & Daffney (w/ Dr. Stevie) vs. Abyss & Taylor Wilde.  The faces shine early.  Abyss press slams Daffney out of the ring and onto Raven and Stevie, then Wilde dives out onto all 3 of them.  Abyss and Raven go into the crowd.  Daffney jumps in Abyss’ back, so Wilde sandwiches her head with a trash can lid and a cookie sheet.  They all brawl in the crowd.  Wilde jumps off of some speakers or something and splashes Daffney through a table.  Abyss and Raven make it back to the ring.  Abyss pulls out the bag of tacks.  Stevie comes in and nails Abyss with a chair.  Abyss is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Raven hits the drop toe hold onto the chair, but Abyss gets his hands out to protect himself.  Raven breaks a Singapore cane over Abyss’ head.  Raven chokes Abyss with a cane.  Wilde makes the save with a trash can lid shot.  Daffney nails Wilde with a cookie sheet.  Raven hits Abyss a few times with a trash can, then Abyss kicks it into Raven’s face.  Abyss hits Raven with the cane.  Abyss chokeslams Raven, but they totally miss the trash can.  Stevie distracs the ref.  Abyss goes for Stevie.  Stevie holds Abyss for a trash can shot, but Abyss movies and Stevie gets nailed.  Wilde dives off of Abyss’ shoulders onto Raven.  Abyss covers, but Stevie distracts the ref again.  Abyss pours out the tacks.  Daffney tries to attack him.  Wilde throws Daffney onto the tacks and covers, but Stevie saves.  Abyss sets up a chokeslam on the tacks, but Raven hits Abyss with a chair.  DDT on the chair by Raven, but Abyss kicks out.  Raven goes for the DDT on the tacks, but Abyss counters and hits the Black Hole Slam (on the tacks) for the win at 14:09.  Good plunder match.

Borash interviews Jeff Jarrett.  Jarrett says he doesn’t want to be World Champion, but he has to take the title from Mick Foley to get his company back.

Sting/Morgan video package.

Sting vs. Matt Morgan.  If Morgan wins, he gets to join the Main Event Mafia. Sting is wearing his old red and black outfit, but with the usual white and black face paint.  That’s odd.  Morgan overpowers Sting to start and fishes out some punishment.  Sting fights back.  Tenay says Team 3D have arrived at the arena.  Morgan overpowers Sting again and gets heat on him for a while.  Sting tries to kick Morgan’s legs out from under him.  Sting manages to drop him with a missile dropkick.  Morgan avoids a Stinger Splash and hits the Carbon Footprint for 2.  Morgan goes for the Hellevator, but Sting counters.  I think he was trying for the Scorpion Death Drop, but they ended up just falling.  Sting hits it, but Morgan kicks out at 2!  Sting kicks him down and locks in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Morgan powers out.  Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop from the second rope for the pin at 9:01.  Much better match than I expected.

Bound For Glory is coming to Los Angeles this year!

Lauren interviews AJ Styles and Samoa Joe.  AJ says either he or Joe will win the title tonight and take the company back.  Joe says he’s going to take out Angle… or something.  I kind of spaced out there for a second.

Team 3D/Beer Money video package.  Voice over guy says “Team 3D battles Beer Money for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.”  Of course I’m serious.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: IWGP Tag Team Championship Team 3D (c) vs. Beer Money.  3D have to be jet lagged, as they defended the IWGP Tag Team Championship on a New Japan show the day before.  Storm and Devon start.  Storm gets the better of it at first, then Devon gets some stuff in.  Roode tags in.  They have a little double teaming on Devon, then Bubba tags in against Roode.  Ray connects with a straight kick to Roode’s face.  Who knew he could get his foot up that high?  Roode and Ray go at it hard with a pretty good exchange.  Devon tags in.  Double team on Roode.  Beer Money work over Devon a bit.  Ray gets the lukewarm tag and hits the Bubba Bomb on Roode for 2.  They try to set up the 3D, but Storm prevents it.  Wassup headbutt on Roode.  Devon gets the table.  Wouldn’t they be DQ’d if they used it?  Roode his a spinebuster on Ray for 2.  Tag to Storm.  Double team on Ray.  BEER!  MONEY!  The British Invasion come out.  Williams and Magnus join the commentary team while the big guy just stands there.  Ray makes a comeback and hot tags Devon.  Devon knocks Roode through a loop with a lariat and covers, but Storm saves.  Devon hits a chokeslam of all things on Roode, but Storm saves again.  Inverted 3D for 2.  West does commentary in a British accent.  3D sets up the Doomsday Device on Roode, but he counters out of it.  Storm hits a lung blower on Ray.  Storm hits a Frankensteiner off the top on Devon.  Roode follows with a frog splash, which gets 2.  Ray saves Devon from a double suplex off the top.  They finally get the Doomsday Device on Roode for 2.  Storm accidentally spits beer on Roode’s face.  3D on Roode.  The big guy (Rob Terry?) distracts the referee.  Ray hits a suicide cross body on Magnus and Terry!  Williams gets on the apron.  Devon sends him off through the table.  Beer Money hits the DWI on Devon.  Roode gets the pin at 16:56 to regain the titles.  Good match, everybody was working hard tonight.

Borash interviews Kurt Angle, who is growing out his hair and beard.  He looks odd.  Angle says it’s all about him and Joe tonight, and he’ll walk out as champion again.

King of the Mountain video package.

King of the Mountain Ladder Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Mick Foley (c) vs. TNA Legends Champion AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle.  Long entrances and introductions, including a short video package on each participant.  Angle comes out wearing a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey.  As soon as the intros are over, Joe puts on a Detroit Red Wings jersey and kicks Angle’s ass.  Even though it’s no DQ and the match hasn’t started yet, Joe is DQ’d and forced to start the match in the penalty box, while Angle is immediately eligible to hang the belt.  The bell rings.  Jarrett and Styles beat up Angle while Foley just stands on the ladder outside the ring.  Styles and Jarrett both try to pin Angle, but unsuccessfully.  Foley comes in, tries to slam Jarrett, but just falls over and lets Jarrett pin him.  The referee makes two 2 counts, and finally the 3.  The fuck?  Foley goes into the box as Joe is released.  Jarrett is now eligible to hang the belt.  Joe fights with Jarrett in the ring as Styles and Angle fight outside.  Foley apparently just wanted to rest for 2 minutes, even though he hasn’t done anything all match except for the stupid failed slam spot.  Foley is released and goes after Joe.  Joe locks Foley in the Coquina Clutch and chokes him out as the other 3 fight outside.  Joe is eligible and Foley goes back to the box.  Joe suplexes Angle onto the ladder.  Ouch.  The ladder is set up against the turnbuckle and Joe whips Jarrett into it.  Joe tries to hang the belt.  Foley is released from the box and knocks the ladder over.  Joe falls on the ladder in a very painful looking way.  That ladder is done.  Foley puts the boots to Joe.  Styles comes in and goes after him, but Foley drops him.  Foley whips Joe into the ladder, then charges, but Joe hiptosses Foley onto the ladder.  Jarrett tries to climb the destroyed ladder, thinks better of it, and throws it out of the ring at Angle.  Jarrett brings in another ladder and goes for the win, but Angle comes back in and lands a low blow.  Angle kicks Foley’s ass a bit, then gets his ass kicked by Styles.  Angle goes for a German on Styles, who lands on his feet.  Cool.  Styles goes for a tornado DDT, but Angle counters and suplexes Styles on the ladder.  Jarrett grabs the acoustic equalizer and goes for the el kabong, but Angle kicks him in the gut and locks on the ankle lock.  Jarrett grabs the guitar, gets out of the hold, and nails Angle with the erstwhile instrument.  Jarrett goes for the win.  Foley climbs up and tells Jarrett to give him the belt.  They trade punches, then Styles springboard dropkicks the ladder to send them both crashing down.  Foley and Styles end up on top of the penalty box.  Foley goes for a suplex.  AJ fights him off with headbutts and goes for his own suplex.  Foley blocks it and throws AJ into the ring with an impressive bump.  Joe locks the choke on Jarrett, but Jarrett hits a jawbreaker out of it and hits the Stroke onto the ladder.  Angle hits the Angle Slam on Jarrett and covers.  Kick out, but Foley comes off the box with an elbow drop on Angle!  Foley gets the pin, so no everybody by AJ is eligible.  Foley goes to hang the belt, but AJ comes in and hits him in the back with the Legends belt.  AJ kicks Foley off the ladder.  Styles and Joe double team Foley.  AJ lands the Pele kick that sends Foley to the outside, then Joe elevates Styles out of the ring to take out Foley in an impressive suicide dive.  Styles gets a pin on Foley that the camera misses, so now everyone is eligible.  Jarrett hits Joe with the ladder.  Angle is released from the box as Foley is sent in.  Jarrett goes to hang the belt, but AJ climbs up to stop him.  Angle tries to pull Jarrett down.  They drop the belt.  Jarrett dives at Angle, but Angle drives him to the mat.  Joe and Styles fight.  Joe drops him with the big kick.  Foley is released and goes after Styles.  Foley nails him with the belt, then Joe lands his kick on Foley.  Joe goes up the ladder with the belt.  AJ grabs his boot and pulls him down and ends up with the belt around his neck.  Styles tries to climb the ladder, but Joe pulls him down.  Styles whips Joe, who dives through the ropes onto Jarrett and Foley.  Angle comes in and goes for the Angle Slam on Styles, but Styles counters into the Styles Clash.  AJ looks to have it won, but Joe comes in and powerbombs him off the ladder.  Joe goes up with the belt.  Angle climbs up the other side.  Joe hands Angle the belt!  Angle hangs the belt for the win at 22:04.  Joe and Angle hug.  Booker T, Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, and Sharmell appear on stage to applaud Angle.  Has Joe joined the Main Event Mafia?  Oh, and I thought the match turned out pretty good too.

Pretty good show all together, one of TNA’s better PPV offerings of late.