Archive for Darren Young

WWE SummerSlam 2012

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2012 by Grappleholic

New WWE open, which debuted on the 1,000th Raw.  Intro video for the 25th SummerSlam, which isn’t the 25th anniversary, but is billed as such because WWE doesn’t know how anniversaries work.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Los Angeles!  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to scream at us.  I guess that means Ziggler vs. Jericho is up first.  They show clips of Ziggler winning the Money In The Bank Ladder Match last month.  Jericho comes out and they show a clip of Ziggler injuring Jericho’s ribs this past Smackdown.  Justin Roberts is a ring announcer.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Chris Jericho.  Jericho is sporting taped ribs from the aforementioned attack.  Ziggler runs around the ring and Jericho gives chase.  Back inside, Jericho catches him with an elbow smash and beats him up a bit.  Ziggler does a drop down and a leap frog, but Jericho catches him with a chop.  Ziggler avoids a suplex and attacks the injured ribs.  Jericho gets a reprieve by back body dropping Ziggler to the floor.  He goes for his rebound dropkick to the apron, but fails and eats the floor as Ziggler makes it back into the ring.  Ziggler continues to punish the ribs.  Vickie is obnoxious at ringside.  Ziggler hits a Rude Awakening, complete with gyrating hips, then pulls a Jericho classic on foot cover for 2.  Jericho gets whipped into the ropes, but catches Ziggler with a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler charges Jericho in the corner, eats it, and Jericho gets a brief flurry.  Ziggler charges the corner again and eats Jericho’s boot.  Jericho follows with a diving elbow smash.  Ziggler sends Jericho into the post, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, fails, but lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Ziggler avoids Jericho in the corner, jumps on his back, and clamps on the sleeper hold.  Jericho backs Ziggler into the corner to escape.  Ziggler kicks him in the ribs and goes up top.  Jericho cuts him off, pounds on him, and hits a top rope Frankensteiner~!  Delayed cover gets 2.  Ziggler catches Jericho out of nowhere with a swank DDT for 2.  They trade shots.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault.  Ziggler catches him in the injured ribs with raised knees, then hits the Zig Zag, but Jericho kicks out!  Jericho catches Ziggler with the Codebreaker.  Ziggler rolls to the floor.  Jericho throws Ziggler back into the ring.  Vickie grabs Jericho’s leg, allowing Ziggler to get an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho sends Ziggler into the post and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Ziggler taps in 13:06.  Yes, Jericho won, but is this really “the big one?”  It made sense when Jericho did this angle with The Rock in 2001 and won the World title, but is the opening match of SummerSlam the same thing?  Good match, though.

Slim Jim commercial.

Los Angeles!

They show Brock Lesnar destroying Shawn Michaels on Raw last week.

Matt Striker interviews Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman.  Well, Paul does all of the talking.

Lillian Garcia is also a ring announcer.  The Spanish announcers, Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez, are present as well.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane.  Kane has his dukes up, which amuses me.  Bryan kicks at the larger man’s legs.  Kane catches a kick and throws him down.  Bryan avoids an elbow and kicks him some more.  Kane punches him a bit.  Bryan backflips off the top rope, then gets slammed for 2.  Kane stomps Bryan in the corner.  Fans are chanting for Bryan.  Bryan fails at a reverse cradle and eats a big boot.  Cover gets 2 for Kane.  Bryan kicks at Kane’s knee some more.  Kane nonchalantly choke throws Bryan out of the ring.  Bryan gets back in as Kane comes out and takes him out with a tope suicide.  Back inside, Bryan hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Bryan lands more kicks as the crowd chants “YES!”  Kane ducks a critical blow and lands a clothesline.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane hits the diving lariat and goes for the chokeslam.  Bryan counters out and rolls to the apron, pulls Kane’s head over the top rope, then comes back in to eat a punch.  Bryan slaps Kane defiantly.  Kane beats the crap out of him in the corner until the referee forces a break.  Bryan takes the opportunity and goes on the offensive.  He goes for the LeBell/Yes/No Lock, fails, and settles for kicking Kane in the chest.  He gets annoyed at the “YES!” chants and goes for the diving headbutt.  Kane catches him by the throat and hits the chokeslam.  Instead of covering, he signals for the Tombstone.  Bryan counters it into an inside cradle for the pin in 8:03!  Bryan wins!  YES!  YES!  YES!  Fun little match.

Kane, pissed that lost, rampages around backstage.  Josh Matthews tries to interview him, but Kane grabs him by the throat, yells “WHERE?!  IS?!  HE?!” and throws him away, then continues his rampage.

Don’t drink and drive.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  I think Mysterio’s costume is supposed to be Batman.  They lock up.  Miz lands a shoulder block.  Mysterio sits up and kind of stares at him.  They do a bit of wrestling that ends in Rey getting a near fall and Miz taking a quick powder.  Miz comes back in and gets to stompin’.  Rey hits a flying headscissors.  Miz throws Rey out of the ring.  Rey slides back in as Miz slides out, then dropkicks Miz through the ropes.  Miz sends Rey torso-first into the barricade.  Back inside, Miz goes to work.  Rey counters a backdrop and gets a 2 count.  Miz catches Rey with that lucha-style backbreaker that Jericho does on Rey for 2.  Miz beats on Rey some more.  Rey tries to make a comeback, but eats a clothesline, which gets a 2 count for Miz.  Miz hits his corner clothesline and goes up top, but Rey dropkicks Miz, crotching h im on the top turbuckle.  Rey hits the diving seated senton and goes for a rana, but Miz catches him with a powerbomb for 2.  Rey ducks a kick and gets a cradle for 2, then kicks Miz in the head for another 2.  Combine the two, and he got a 4 count, so he almost won under Canadian rules.  Rey hits a whirly DDT for 2.  Rey goes up top again, but gets caught.  Rey fights Miz off and hits a diving headscissors, which puts Miz into 619 position.  Rey hits the 619 and goes for the diving splash, but Miz avoids it.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Rey turns it into a cradle for 2.  Miz launches Rey into the turnbuckles, then hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 9:10.  It was okay, but I never really got into it.

Plug for the WWE iPhone/Android app.  I downloaded it.  It’s not that interesting.

Teddy Long and Eve Torres walk out of the GM’s office and talk about how quirky AJ Lee is.  They walk away and WWE Champion CM Punk walks into the office.  He complains to AJ about being in a Triple Threat Match tonight.  She just cocks her head and stares off into space, ignoring him.

Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio hype video.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio for the World Championship match.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio.  They lock up.  Del Rio backs Sheamus into the corner.  Repeat.  They tumble out of the ring together and brawl on the floor.  Back inside, Sheamus hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Sheamus hits the Finlay Roll for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but fails.  He ends up getting Del Rio up on his shoulders as Del Rio exposes the turnbuckle.  Sheamus counters the Minoru Special and misses the Brogue Kick.  Del Rio kicks Sheamus off the apron, then sends him knee first into the steps.  Back inside, Del Rio clamps on a rear chin lock.  Sheamus escapes and goes for another neckbreaker, but Del Rio kicks him in the knee, then in the head for 2.  They fight some more.  Del Rio is wearing black gear that looks reall weird on him for some reason.  He taunts Sheamus by doing the “Brogue!” taunt.  He teases a Brogue Kick, but Sheamus cuts him off.  Del Rio sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post.  Sheamus tries to go up top, but gets cut off.  Del Rio hits an arm breaker (pulling the knees into the arm) off the top for 2.  There has to be a better name for that move.  Del Rio goes for his move, but Sheamus counters.  Del Rio counters the counter and hits the Minoru Special.  Sheamus powers up and slams Del Rio down.  Sheamus hits the White Noise (Schwein) for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Del Rio avoids him.  Sheamus clubbers Del Rio in the chest.  Why hasn’t the referee fixed that exposed turnbuckle?  Oh, I see.  Del Rio drops Sheamus into the exposed buckle, then hits an enzuigiri, but Sheamus kicks out!  Del Rio roughs up Ricardo just because he’s a dick.  Sheamus hits Del Rio with Ricardo’s shoe, then hits the White Noise for the pin in 11:24, even though Del Rio’s foot was on the bottom rope.  That’s actually the finish?  Okay then.  Del Rio and Ricardo bitch at the referee, and rightfully so.  This match did not click with me at all.

Plug for the National Guard, or rather, how great WWE is for supporting the National Guard.

Cole and Lawler plug Night of Champions.

On the pre-show, Triple H told referee Scott Armstrong to not DQ or count anyone out tonight in his match with Brock Lesnar.

Last week on Raw, the Prime Time Players beat up R-Truth while Kofi Kingston was in China, then Touted about it.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (c) vs. The Prime Time Players.  Truth beats up Young to start.  O’Neil tags in and drops Truth with a boot, barks, and covers for 2.  Kofi tags in and keeps O’Neil off balance with his speed.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Young distracts him.  Heel chicanery on the outside leads to the Players getting the advantage.  Kofi plays face in peril.  Young looks like he’s trying to get Kofi in some retarded triangle choke.  It fails completely, but he continues to put a beating on Kofi.  O’Neil tags in and applies an abdominal stretch.  Kofi turns a spinning slam into a spike DDT.  Truth gets the hot tag and runs wild on Darren Young.  Truth hits a front suplex.  Cover, but O’Neil saves.  O’Neil throws Kofi out of the ring, but Kofi skins the cat, low bridges him out, and takes him out with a dive.  Truth thinks about a dive, but Young schoolboys him for 2.  Young goes for something and fails, and Truth hits the Paydirt, whatever he’s calling it this week, for the pin in 7:07.  Players are nothing without AW.  This match was pretty close to nothing, too.

Axxess clips.

Punk/Cena/Show hype video.

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. John Cena vs. The Big Show.  Big Show beats up everyone to start.  Punk seems to be channeling Bret Hart with his pink gear.  Cena and Punk unite to try to suplex Show, but Show suplexes both of them at the same time.  Show wins on them some more.  Cena gets tossed out of the ring by Show and Punk makes a comeback until he stupidly goes for the Go 2 Sleep and fails.  Cena tries to give Show the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk pushes them over.  Punk covers Cena, but Show saves.  Show beats up Punk some more and throws Cena out of the ring again.  Punk avoids Show in the corner and goes for a springboard cross body, but Show catches him and hits the Final Cut.  Show signals for the KO punch, but Cena reappears and cuts him off.  Show spears Cena for 2.  Show goes for a Vader Bomb onto both opponents, but Punk avoids it and Cena takes the full brunt.  Punk breaks Show’s cover.  Show throws Punk out of the ring, then goes after Cena on the other side.  Punk tries a dive, but Show catches him and launches him into the ropes from the outside.  Awesome.  Show and Cena go at it in the ring.  Punk pulls Show’s head over the top rope, allowing Cena to hit a backdrop suplex.  LA crowd doesn’t like Cena.  Cena signals for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Punk cuts him off.  Punk hits the diving elbow drop on Show.  Cover, but Show throws him across the ring at 2.  Punk kicks Show in the head and locks in the Koji Clutch, of all things.  Show breaks out.  Punk takes a powder.  Cena hits Show with a shoulder block and locks in the STF.  Show stands and backs Cena into the corner.  Cena goes for a dive, but Show catches and slams him.  Punk drops Show with a diving lariat and hits him with 3 running knees to the corner, but Show counters the bulldog.  Cena hits Show with the diving Fameasser, but ends up on the apron.  Punk locks Show in the Koji Clutch.  Cena also applies the STF.  Show taps.  The referee calls for the bell, but there are 2 winners.  Cena and Punk argue with the referee.  Raw GM AJ Lee skips out and rules that the match must continue.  Show immediately chokeslams both me.  Cover on Cena gets 2.  Cover on Punk gets 2.  Cena ducks the KO punch and hits Show with the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk throws Cena out of the ring and pins Show in 14:28.  Very enjoyable match.  Punk celebrates.

Los Angeles!

Celebrities are here!  Including former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette and WrestleMania participant Maria Menounos (sporting a Bob Backlund shirt).

Trailer for WWE Films’ latest, The Day.

On the preshow, Antonio Cesaro beat Santino Marella for the WWE United States Championship, with help from Aksana.

Kevin Ruldolf (who?) performs the SummerSlam theme song.  People Dance like idiots.  The divas come out to dance: Tamina, Kaitlyn, Natalya, Aksana, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Cameron, Naomi, Layla, Rosa Mendez, and Alicia Fox.

Los Angeles.

Triple H/Lesnar hype video.

Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Triple H.  Brock immediately powers Triple H into the corner.  Hunter comes back with punches.  Brock repeats and goes for the Kimura.  Triple H counters.  Brock beats him in the corner some more and goes for it again.  He gets a standing version, but Hunter is in the ropes.  Triple H fights back and clotheslines Brock out of the ring.  Brock comes back in and beats up Triple H in the corner some more.  Hunter lands a knee lift and clotheslines Brock out of the ring again.  Lesnar looks irked.  Brock comes back in and takes off his gloves.  It’s a bare knuckle fight now!  Brock gets a double leg takedown and pummels Triple H with a few punches.  Hunter bails, selling a punch to the back of the head.  They brawl outside.  Brock gives Hunter a hammerlock slam onto the announce table.  The brawl some more back inside.  Brock delivers another hammerlock slam.  Brock continues working the arm.  Triple H counters an F-5 attempt, but Brock hits him with a BIG German suplex.  Brock stomps Triple H’s arm again.  Triple H tries to bail, gets caught, and pulls Brock against the top rope.  Hunter manages to score with a DDT.  Brock immediately goes after the arm again.  I always enjoy a hammerlock slam, and Brock is dishing them out liberally tonight.  They go outside and Lesnar sends Triple H into the post.  They wreck the Spanish announce table.  Brock actually jumps off of it and hits Triple H with a big chop.  Back in the ring, Triple H tries to fight back.  Lesnar gets an inside cradle of all things for 2.  Lesnar hits a clothesline and goes for a suplex, but Hunter counters and suplexes him.  Lesnar clotheslines the turnbuckle.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but fails, gets whipped into the corner, and does the Michaels flip out of the ring.  Brock takes a shot into the announce table on his stomach and starts dry heaving.  The announcers talk about his issues with diverticulitis.  Hunter goes after the midsection.  He hits some knee lifts to the stomach.  Triple H hits the spinebuster and goes for the Pedigree.  Lesnar counters and goes for the F-5.  Triple H counters and hits the Pedigree, but Lesnar kicks out.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Lesnar hits him square in the balls.  The referee, per Hunter’s request, is letting it go.  Lesnar hits the F-5, but Triple H kicks out.  Lesnar locks on the standing Kimura again.  Triple H tries to fight out, but Lesnar goes to the ground with it.  Triple H gets the ropes, but the ref isn’t enforcing the rules.  Hunter fights out of the hold.  Hunter hits the Pedigree and goes for the cover, but Lesnar gets the Kimura again.  Triple H taps in 18:45.  I’m absolutely shocked that they did the right thing and put Lesnar over.  The match was an intense brawl, but not on the level of Lesnar/Cena.  I’ll give it a thumbs slightly up.  Lesnar leaves.  Hunter refuses medical attention.  Fans chant “YOU TAPPED OUT!”, which is probably not what WWE was going for with this.  Hunter mouths “I’m sorry” and leaves to a mixture of boos and polite applause.

This show started well, dipped really low in the middle, peaked with the triple threat match, and ended okay.  I’d say the show as a whole is thumbs in the middle.

WWE Superstars 1/20/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 20, 2011 by Grappleholic

Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

JTG vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  JTG works a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Chavo gets a side headlock takeover, then beats up JTG for a bit.  JTG catches a kick and lands a clothesline, then hits a basement boot to the face.  JTG slides out of the ring and hits a palm thrust.  They brawl outside.  Chavo hits the Eddie hilo back in for 2.  Chavo locks in a body scissors/armbar/chin lock.  JTG escapes.  Chavo lands a dropkick for 2.  Chavo hits a sweet backdrop suplex for 2.  Chavo keeps the heat going.  JTG hits a back body drop and makes his comeback.  JTG hits a Regal Cutter for 2.  Chavo hits a release Northern Lights suplex, then puts the boots to JTG.  JTG dropkicks Chavo into the corner, then hits the Mugshot.  JTG hits the Sling Blade for the pin in 5:48.  Good little match.

Tonight, Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd!  Yeah, I’m psyched.

WWE.com plug.

Chris Masters vs. Curt Hawkins.  Hawkins tries a go behind.  Masters is playing that shit and beats the shit out of him.  Hawkins catches Masters with a boot to the face.  Masters hits a spinebuster.  Hawkins avoids a dive and puts to boots to Masters.  Hawkins hits a suplex for 2.  Hawkins keeps the heat going.  Masters rallies and locks in the Master Lock for the win in 3:23.  Well this wasn’t much.

NXT recap.

Yoshi vs. Kidd TONIGHT!

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Zack Ryder & Primo vs. David Hart Smith & Darren Young.  Ryder yells “Woo Woo Woo,” then grabs Young in a side headlock, then a hammerlock.  Young hits a clothesline.  Ryder tags out.  Young schools Primo with arm torture, then tags in Smith, who continues the arm work.  Smith hits a powerslam and a powerbomb, then gets distracted by Ryder.  Primo recovers and takes out Smith’s knee.  Ryder tags in and works over Smith.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker and a leg drop for 2.  Primo tags in and keeps the heat going.  Smith continues to play face in peril as Ryder and Primo make quick tags and work him over.  Smith catches Primo with a big belly to belly suplex.  Ryder and Young tag in.  The crowd actually goes nuts as Young runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Primo and Smith are sent outside.  Ryder hits the Rough Ryder on Young for the pin in 5:01.  Fun little match.

Yoshi vs. Kidd TONIGHT!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Royal Rumble “By The Numbers” video.

Raw Rebound.

The main event is NEXT!

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd.  Kidd tries a go behind.  Yoshi reverses it.  Kidd grabs an arm lock.  Yoshi counters.  Sweet, sweet chain wrestling.  Kidd gets a side headlock takeover.  Yoshi turns it into a head scissors.  Kidd nips up.  Yoshi throws a head kick, but Kidd bails to the apron.  Kidd forces Yoshi to hold his weight while doing a back bridge.  Yosho rallies.  They do a pinfall reversal sequence.  Yoshi lands some kicks.  Kidd elevates Yoshi to the apron, then hits a Dragon screw leg whip through the ropes.  Insta-commercials.  Kidd works Yoshi’s leg for a while.  Yoshi uses his free leg to kick Kidd through the ropes to the floor.  Kidd goes for the Superstar Elbow.  Yoshi avoids it and makes his comeback as best he can on one leg.  Yoshi hits a Northern Lights suplex hold, but can’t hold his bridge with one leg.  Yoshi goes up top and misses his big kick.  Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter, but Yoshi catches him in a cradle for the pin (8:12 shown).  Good match.  I really liked the finish.

Fun little show this week.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/17/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 17, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, annual Martin Luther King Jr. day video.  We are LIVE in Little Rock, Arkansas.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

John Cena comes to the ring.  They show him getting beaten up by the New Nexus 3 weeks ago.  Cena talks about said event, promises to win the Royal Rumble and go to WrestleMania, then calls out CM Punk.  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out instead.  He rants about whatever for a minute, then announces that this year’s Royal Rumble will be 40 men instead of 30.  Why is it his job to announce that?  Miz advises whoever wins the Rumble to go after the other champion instead.  Cena makes some lame jokes, then talks about the times that Miz would have lost the title to Lawler and Orton if Cole and Riley hadn’t interfered.  Then he makes more lame jokes.  He says “poopy noises” on national TV.  Yes, he said that.  They banter for a while.  Cena says that the main event at Mania will be Cena vs. Orton.  I fucking hope not.  The New Nexus come out.  Punk cuts a promo on Cena, then sends Husky Harris, Michael McGillicutty, and David Otunga to the ring.  They attack Cena.  WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov make the save.  Yes, I’m serious.  Punk decides to try different odds and all 4 of the New Nexus head to the ring.  Cole gets an e-mail from the iBooker.  iBooker bans Nexus from ringside during tonight’s Cena/Punk match on pain of not being in the Royal Rumble.

Tonight, Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton!  Commercials.

Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (c) (w/ Tamina) vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  No entrances, but we get in ring entrances.  Santino and Jimmy go at it.  The Usos cut Santino off and get the heat on him.  Kozlov tags the tag and beats up Jey.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Kozlov goes for the Iron Curtain, but Jey counters.  Santino tags in and hits the Cobra for the pin in 2:33.  This was nothing.

The New Nexus bicker amongst themselves backstage.  CM Punk comes in and smiles creepily at them, then says “faith.”

John Morrison is headed our way.  He encounters WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan and The Bella Twins.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: John Morrison vs. Sheamus from last week.

John Morrison hype video.

Non-Title: John Morrison vs. WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ The Bella Twins).  They lock up and do a sweet chain wrestling sequence.  That always brings joy to my heart.  Danielson does the leapfrog, drop down, dropkick.  Morison is sent outside.  Bryan slides out.  They both slide back in and do the stalemate post.  Commercials.  Morrison has Danielson grounded.  That’s backwards.  Morrison hits a side Russian leg sweep and takes too long going for the Starship Pain.  Danielson avoids it and kills him with a Buzzsaw kick for 2.  Danielson goes for the LeBell Lock, but fails.  Double cross body spot.  They trade strikes.  Morrison lands on his feet from a German suplex and hits a Frankensteiner.  Bryan rolls through for 2.  Cradle counter sequence.  Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock again.  Morrison counters and catapults him into the corner.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck and the running knee strike for the pin in 7:22.  Really good little match.  King Sheamus comes out and cuts a promo about how he made Morrison because Morrison had to turn up his game to deal with Sheamus.  He promises to conquer “turdy-nine” other men at the Royal Rumble.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Next, Ziggler vs. Orton!

Slam of the Week: Randy Orton & Jerry Lawler defeating The Miz & Alex Riley last week.  Commercials.

Little Rock!

Stand Up For WWE.  This bullshit again?

The Bella Twins talk about how hot John Morrison is.  Then they argue over who’s going to Bryan’s “first.”  I knew he was a virgin.  They make a bet on who AmDrag will nail first.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to scream in her awful voice.  She introduces Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Randy Orton.  Entrances, commercials, bell.  They lock up.  Ziggler backs Orton into the corner and cheap shots him to get the advantage.  Orton hits an Austin-style Lou Thesz press with punches.  Orton explodes out of the corner with a clothesline and starts to put a beating on Ziggler.  Orton hits the Albert decapitator thing for 2, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Ziggler rallies and dropkicks Orton’s knee for 2.  Ziggler goes to work on the knee, stomping on it and wrapping it around the ring post.  Orton rallies and beats up Ziggler some.  Ziggler lands a dropkick for 2.  They trade blows.  Orton hits the 3.0.  Orton side steps Ziggler, who crashes into the corner.  Orton makes his comeback.  Ziggler slips out of the DDT OF MURDER and takes out Orton’s knee.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Orton goes for the Angle Slam, but Ziggler slips out and clamps on the sleeper hold.  Orton manages to get a rope break.  Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Orton holds onto the top rope.  Orton his the RKO for the pin in 8:28.  Good match.  The Miz and Alex Riley immediately jump Orton.  Miz throws Orton into the steps, then tears up the announce table.  Lawler confronts him and decks Riley.  Miz throws Lawler over the barricade.  Orton tries to fight back.  Miz kicks his injured knee, then rams his back into the post, then they through him through a gimmicked part of the barricade.  How dastardly!  Miz creepily says his catchphrase.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Moments ago, ^^^ happened.

CM Punk lectures The New Nexus about faith.

Eve Torres and Melina have joined Cole for commentary.

Non-Title: Maryse vs. WWE Divas Champion Natalya.  They face off.  Maryse slaps Natalya.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter.  Maryse gets away, then hits some weird face plant for 1.  Melina applies a chin lock.  Shit goes on.  Natalya locks in the Sharpshooter for the win in 1:39.  At least that’s over.  Maryse screams at Cole for some reason.  Eve shoves her and leaves.  Maryse screams some more.  Ted Dibiase Jr. shows up.  Maryse yells at him.  Dibiase says he’ll win the Royal Rumble.  Well that’s just silly.  He challenges anyone to an over the top rope challenge.  Commercials.

Over The Top Rope Challenge: Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Mark Henry.  Dibiase attacks.  Henry rallies and squashes him in the corner.  Dibiase lands a dropkick.  Henry throws him out of the ring for the win in 27 seconds.  Tyson Kidd, Yoshi Tatsu, and William Regal hit the ring.  Henry tosses Yoshi quickly.  Regal and Kidd beat down Henry.  They are quickly joined by Zack Ryder, Primo, David Hart Smith, Darren Young, and R-Truth.  Everybody brawls in an unsanctioned Battle Royal.  Sheamus joins the fight and eliminates everyone but Henry.  Lawler rejoins Cole on commentary.  Henry eliminates Sheamus to win a moral victory.  Alberto Del Rio comes out and cuts a promo about how it’s his destiny to win the Rumble.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Commercials.

There’s a stupid vignette with Derrick Bateman trying to sell Mark Henry’s body odor.  Yes.

Cole and Lawler bicker, then we get the awesome annual Rumble “By The Numbers” video!

Hype for the Rumble title matches.

Cole announces next week’s main event, Edge vs. The Miz in a champion vs. champion match.

John Cena gives some guy a DVD and some instructions.  He’ll face Punk NEXT!  Commercials.

CM Punk comes out with the New Nexus.  He stares at them.  They salute him, then leave.  I guess this was to show how creepy Punk is.  They show the initiations from last week.

CM Punk vs. John Cena.  They stare at each other.  Cena beats up Punk.  Punk lands a stiff kick to Punk’s shoulder, the baseball slide dropkicks him out of the ring.  Commercials.  This late in the show?  That’s weird.  Punk has Cena in a figure-four headlock.  Cena stands up.  Punk slips off and hits a DDT for 2.  Punk keeps the heat going on Cena.  Cena makes his comeback.  Punk counters out of the Attitude Adjusment and lands a dropkick for 2.  Punk hits the knee to the corner and the bulldog for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into the STF.  Punk gets a rope break.  Double clothesline spot.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment again.  Punk gets out and lands a high kick to the head.  Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Punk counters the AA again and hits a Complete Shot, then locks in a Koji Clutch like hold that is incorrectly called the Anaconda Vice.  Cena fights his way to a rope break.  Cena rolls to the apron.  Punk boots him to the floor.  Punk goes for a slingshot dive.  Cena catches him, rams him into the post, and sets him back in the ring.  Cena goes to the top rope.  Punk cuts him off and tries to set something up.  Cena headbutts Punk to the mat and hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Some big dude (Mason Ryan) appears to distract Cena.  Punk kicks Cena in the head.  Punk spears his arm wide and smiles.  Big dude gives him a boot the face, so Punk wins by DQ in 15:42.  Okay match.  Ryan gives Cena a side Rock Bottom.  Otunga, McGillicutty, and Harris come out to protect Punk.  Ryan gets down on one knee.  Punk gives him a Nexus armband.  New Nexus all raise their arms as the show ends.

Pretty good show.

WWE Superstars 1/13/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 2, 2011 by Grappleholic

Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.  Tonight, a big eight-man tag match!

Chris Masters & JTG vs. Curt Hawkins & Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Yay for random tag matches!  Chavo and Masters lock up.  Masters drops him with a shoulder block.  They lock up again and Masters powers Chavo into the corner.  Chavo lands a cheap shot.  Masters hits a press slam for 2.  JTG tags in and works Chavo’s arm a bit.  Chavo gets away and tags Hawkins in.  JTG shuts him down and tags in Masters.  Masters lands a shoulder block.  Hawkins does the drop down, leap frog.  Masters goes for the Master Lock, but gets countered and cut off.  Chavo and Hawkins get the heat on Masters.  JTG gets the hot tag and runs wild, then gets cut off.  Insta-commercials.  Chavo and Hawkins get the heat on JTG for a while.  JTG gives Hawkins a flapjack and makes the hot tag to Masters.  Masters runs wild on Chavo.  Masters goes for the Master Lock, but Chavo counters.  Masters tries again, back body drops an interfering Hawkins, and clamps the hold on Chavo for the win (9:49 shown).  Fine little match.

NXT recap.

Up next, Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox.

WWE.com plug.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Alicia Fox vs. Gail Kim.  They lock up and wrestle a bit.  Fox backs Gail into the corner and charges, but Gail avoids her and jumps around a bunch.  Alicia gets a side headlock takeover.  Gail escapes and hits an arm drag.  Fox begs off.  Gail hits a basement dropkick for 2.  Fox kicks Gail in the gut and works her over.  Of course she works the hair.  And I was thinking this match might not be too bad.  Fox hits a gut buster for 2.  Fox locks in an abdominal stretch.  Gail flips out and lands on top of Fox for 2.  Fox beats Gail up some more.  Gail rallies and makes her comeback.  Gail hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Gail hits the Eat Defeat for the pin in 4:51.  It was there.  I’ve seen far worse.

Awesome random eight-man tag is still to come!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

John Morrison hype video.

Shawn Michaels Hall of Fame video.

Awesomely random eight-man tag is NEXT!

David Hart Smith, Yoshi Tatsu, Primo, & Darren Young vs. William Regal, Zack Ryder, & Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Regal and Primo start with an awesome sequence.  Jimmy Uso tags in and beats up Primo.  Primo rallies and tags in Yoshi.  Yoshi shines, then Young tags in and takes his turn.  Ryder tags in, but gets clocked by Young.  Smith tags in and beats up Ryder.  Regal tags in and trades European uppercuts with Smith.  Ryder tags back in and gets beaten on my Smith some more.  Smith hits the stalling suplex for 2.  Jey Uso tags in and beats up Smith.  Jimmy tags a turn, then Ryder again.  Smith hits a Jackhammer on Ryder, then knocks the other opponents off the apron.  Smith goes for the running powerslam, but an Uso clips his leg.  Ryder beats on Smith.  Insta-commercials.  Smith makes a comeback on Jimmy Uso and tags in Young.  Young runs wild a bit, then low bridges him out of the ring.  Jimmy chop blocks Young on the apron.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Regal tags in and mauls Young.  Ryder tags in and keeps the heat going on Young.  Ryder hits the face wash for 2.  Young drops Ryder with an enzuigiri and makes the hot tag to Primo.  Primo runs wild.  Primo hits a jumping tornado DDT.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Yoshi tags in and drops Ryder with a Mirko Cro Cop high kick for the pin (10:20 shown).  Fun match!

Okay little show this week!  Random multi-man tags are always a good time.

WWE Superstars 12/30/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 7, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open. Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are the first announcers.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.

Yoshi Tatsu & Darren Young vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Jey and Young lock up and roll to the floor.  Jimmy psychs Jey up.  It doesn’t work, as Young keeps beating him up.  Young hits a flying shoulder block for 2.  Yoshi tags in lands a chop for 2.  Stanford name drops Yuji Nagata.  Jimmy comes out and Yoshi does some fancy arm drags and crucifix hold for 2.  Young tags in and eats a boot from Jimmy.  The Usos get the heat on Young.  Yoshi gets the hot tag and runs wild on Jimmy.  Yoshi lands a spin kick.  Cover, but Jey saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Jey sends Young into the post on the outside.  Yoshi goes up top.  Jey tries to cut him off, but fails.  Jimmy slams Yoshi down and hits the Superfly splash for the pin in 5:42.  Fine little match.  I expected Yoshi & Young to get their win back here, but it was not to be.

NXT recap.

WWE Magazine plug.

WWE.com plug.

David Hart Smith vs. William Regal.  They start with glorious, glorious chain wrestling.  They go back and forth on the mat for the first few minutes.  Smith lands a dropkick and Regal bails.  Smith follows him outside and drops him with a shoulder block.  Insta-commercials.  Smith hits the stall suplex for 2.  Regal rams Smith’s shin into the post and goes to work on his leg.  Smith tries to fight back, but gets hit with a Dragon screw leg whip.  Smith lands some European uppercuts.  Regal wrenches his leg in the ropes.  Regal goes into his happy place and mauls a fucker.  He keeps the leg torture going with a half crab.  He lets go and stomps the knee.  More brutalizing of Smith’s leg.  Regal goes for a butterfly suplex, but Smith stand up with him and turns it into a butterfly back body drop.  They trade European uppercuts.  Smith wins the exchange and makes his comeback.  Smith hits a Northern Lights suplex hold, but can’t keep his bridge because of the bad leg.  He fails a body slam and Regal chop blocks his knee.  Regal connects with the knee trembler for the pin (9:17 shown).  Really good little match.

Tonight, Chris Masters vs. Tyler Reks!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Randy Orton hype video.

Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are now the announcers.

Raw Rebound.

Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.  The main event is next!

Chris Masters vs. Tyler Reks.  They lock up aggressively.  Masters shoves Reks away.  They lock up again.  Masters tries a go behind.  Reks catches him with an elbow.  Masters fires back with chops and takes Reks down with a side headlock.  Reks rolls him over into a cradle briefly.  I love that spot.  Reks backs Masters into the corner and beats him up.  Masters gets rolling and clotheslines Reks out of the ring.  Masters throws Reks back into the ring.  Reks rolls to the other side of the apron.  Masters goes for the Master Lock, but Reks pulls his arm down into the turnbuckles.  Insta-commercials.  Reks works Masters’ arm.  Reks hits a Final Cut for 2, then goes back to working the arm.  Reks hits a body slam and a knee drop for 2.  Back to torturing the arm.  Reks rams Masters’ arm into the post.  He tries to do it again, but Masters pulls Reks into the post.  Masters beats up Reks on the outside.  Back inside, Masters hits a Samoan drop for 2.  Masters goes for the Master Lock, but can’t do it.  Reks goes for a neckbreaker, but Masters turns it into a backslide for 2.  Reks hits a clothesline for 2.  Reks drops knees and elbows, then rains down punches on Masters.  Reks goes for a powerbomb and Korpela thinks its the Burning Hammer.  Masters back body drops him, then spears the corner.  There’s a jump cut, then Reks hits the Burning Hammer for the pin (about 10 minutes shown).  Okay match.  I wonder what the deal was with the jump cut.

Pretty decent show.

WWE Superstars 12/23/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 26, 2010 by Grappleholic

Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Scott Stanford and Jerry Lawler are our first announcers here on Christmas Eve Eve.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.

Zack Ryder vs. David Hart Smith.  Ryder says “WOO WOO WOO!”  Smith does a headlock and a shoulder block.  Ryder bails, slaps Smith, and tries to bail again.  Smith throws him back into the ring and locks in a half crab.  Ryder gets a rope break and goes to the apron.  Smith hits him with European uppercuts and clotheslines for 2.  Smith works Ryder’s arm.  Smith hits the stall suplex for 2.  Smith beats up Ryder on the outside.  Ryder catches Smith coming back in and manages to get the advantage.  Ryder hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Ryder applies a face lock.  Smith tries to rally, but gets planted with a flapjack for 2.  Ryder keeps the heat on and applies a body scissors.  Commercials.  Ryder works an abdominal stretch.  Smith escapes and rams Ryder into the corner.  Smith hammers Ryder with punches, then charges the corner and rams right into the turnbuckles.  Ryder tries to set up a superplex, but Smith fights him off.  He’s woozy from headbutts, but goes for a diving fist drop.  Ryder gets his foot up.  Smith catches it, then misses an elbow drop.  Smith hits a suplex.  Smith makes his comeback and hits a powerslam for 2.  Ryder avoids a leg drop and misses the Rough Ryder.  Smith hits a backdrop suplex for the pin in 12:02.  I didn’t really get into this, but it was okay.

NXT recap.

Tonight, LayCool vs. Beth Phoenix & Kelly Kelly!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Yoshi Tatsu & Darren Young vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Yoshi & Young is a delightfully random team.  Jey and Young lock up.  Young wins.  Jimmy distracts Young so Jey can get the jump on him.  Yoshi tags in.  YoshiYoung hit a double shoulder block.  Yoshi lands a kick for 2.  Jey ducks a spin kick and bails.  Yoshi chases him back in.  Jimmy gets the blind tag and jumps Yoshi.  Jimmy hits a jumping headbutt for 2.  Usos get the heat on Yoshi.  Yoshi catches Jimmy with a crucifix holds for 2.  Jimmy cuts him off and clamps on a headlock.  Jimmy goes for a backdrop suplex, but Yoshi lands on top for 2.  Yoshi lands an enzuigiri.  Young and Jey tag in.  Young runs wild.  Jimmy makes a blind tag.  Usos hit the Alley Oop (double team Samoan drop) and Jimmy pins Young in 5:28.  Fun little match.

Tonight, LayCool vs. Beth Phoenix & Kelly Kelly!  Commercials.

TLC song!

Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are now the announcers.

Raw Rebound.

Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

The “main event” is next.  Commercials.

Michelle McCool & Layla vs. Beth Phoenix & Kelly Kelly.  McCool grabs Beth in a headlock.  Beth breaks free and hits a shoulder block.  McCool sells it hard and tags out.  Layala sells her beating like crazy too.  They’re selling their injuries from the PPV match.  Kelly and Phoenix take turns abusing Layla.  Beth channels Tully Blanchard and hits a slingshot suplex for 2.  LayCool sell on the floor.  Commercials.  Kelly does a handspring to the corner on Layla.  No elbows, just hits Layla with her back.  McCool tags in.  Kelly hits a flying headscisssors and a Thesz press, then does that head banging shit.  McCool hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  LayCool get the heat on Kelly.  Layla works Kelly’s hair, of course.  Kelly avoids a diving leg drop and makes the hot tag.  Beth runs wild.  Beth his a diving lariat on Layla and covers.  McCool saves and pulls Layla over to tag her in, but Beth won’t let her.  Beth goes for the Glam Slam.  McCool interferes and accidentally kicks Layla.  Beth cleans McCool’s clock and gives Layla the Glam Slam for the pin in 12:40.  I’ll bet $1,000 dollars the match wasn’t actually that long, but that’s the risk you take giving times for a taped show with commercials during matches.

Okay show this week.  Not a waste of time, but totally missable.

WWE Superstars 12/16/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

JTG vs. Curt Hawkins.  They lock up.  JTG gets a side headlock takeover.  JTG lands a shoulder block for 1.  JTG works Hawkins’ arm.  Cover gets 2.  Yeah, a cover off of arm work.  I don’t get it either.  Hawkins slaps JTG in the corner.  JTG goes for the Mugshot, but Hawkins throws him out of the ring to the floor.  Hawkins rams JTG’s back into the apron.  Back inside, Hawkins works JTG over.  JTG fights out of a rear chin lock.  Double clothesline spot.  Insta-commercials.  Hawkins has the rear chin lock clamped on again.  JTG escapes via backdrop suplex.  JTG tries to make a comeback, but Hawkins slams him for 2.  Hawkins goes for the diving elbow drop, but JTG avoids it.  JTG hits the Mugshot for 2.  JTG hits the Sling Blade for the pin (6:01 shown).  Fine little match here.

NXT recap.

Tonight, Yoshi Tatsu vs. Drew McIntyre!  Now THAT is a main event!

Scott Stanford and CM Punk are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Zack Ryder vs. Darren Young.  They lock up, then shove each other in the corner.  Ryder Woo Woos.  Young gets a schoolboy for 2.  Young rabs a headlock, then hits a shoulder block and a lariat.  Ryder lands a head kick from the apron.  Ryder hits the bottom rope decapitator into the turnbuckle, then applies a rear chin lock.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ryder beats up Young in the corner.  Ryder hits a face wash(!) for 2.  Back to the rear chin lock.  Young rallies and hits a belly to belly overhead through.  Nobody does that right anymore.  Young makes his comeback and hits a nice gut buster for 2.  Ryder goes for a neckbreaker.  Young counters and goes for a reverse cradle.  Ryder counters and hits the Rough Ryder for the pin in 5:02.  It was fine.

Tonight, Yoshi vs. Drew!

Alberto Del Rio hype video.

Raw Rebound.

TLC hype.

The main event is NEXT!

Drew McIntyre vs. Yoshi Tatsu.  It’s Raw vs. Smackdown for no apparent reason.  McIntyre is being a dick and not taking Yoshi seriously.  They lock up.  McIntyre pushes Yoshi to the corner and pulls his hair.  They lock up again.  McIntyre grabs a side headlock, then hits a shoulder block.  That happens in every match ever.  They lock up a third time.  Yoshi lands some chops.  McIntyre beats on Yoshi in the corner.  Yoshi responds in kind.  Yoshi lands a head kick for 2.  McIntyre ducks another head kick and bails.  Yoshi follows and they brawl outside.  McIntyre gives Yoshi a shoulder breaker onto the apron!  That’s kind of awesome.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre works Yoshi’s injured shoulder.  Yoshi fights out and gets a flying crucifix hold for 2!  McIntyre drops Kofi with a boot, then gets a single leg jackknife hold for 2.  Punk name drops Chono, Misawa, and Jumbo.  Awesome.  McIntyre works the shoulder and heels it up.  McIntyre hits an arm breaker for 2.  Yoshi dropkicks McIntyre out of the ring.  McIntyre comes back in and accidentally spears the post when Yoshi side steps him.  Yoshi lands some chops and kicks.  Yoshi lands a spin kick.  Cover, but McIntyre gets the ropes.  McIntyre sends Yoshi to the apron.  Yoshi lands a head kick, then goes up top.  McIntyre avoids the diving spin kick and h its the Future Shock for the pin (9:38 shown).  Awesome little TV match.  I loved this.

Good show this week.  I loved the main event!  There’s a good chance that that will be the best WWE TV match this week.