Archive for Dan Spivey

NWA Clash of the Champions VI: Ragin’ Cajun

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 3, 2012 by Grappleholic

This is my first review in nearly 11 months.  I hope I’ve still got it.

Jim Ross and Michael Hayes introduce the show.  Apparently it’s some kind of legends night.  The show Terry Funk, Lou Thesz, Gene Kiniski, Sam Muchnick, and Pat O’Connor arriving.  They had dinner with NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ricky Steamboat had dinner with them.  Buddy Rogers, Dory Funk Jr., and Harley Race are also there.  Jim Herd says some kind words about them.

Opening video.

They play the national anthem.  Pyro and ballyhoo.

Commercials.  There’s a plug for the Wrestling Hotline.  1-900-909-9900.  Not that I recommend trying that number in 2012.

Gary Michael Cappetta is the ring announcer.

The Samoan Swat Team (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) vs. The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette).  Samu beats up Lane to start.  Lane scores a shoulder block.  They do some drop down and leap overs.  Lane ends up getting a cross body for a 1 count.  Samu accidentally knocks Fatu off the apron.  Fatu recovers quickly and tags in to put a hurting on Lane.  Lane is having none of that and tags in Eaton.  Eaton hits a diving dropkick.  I’m not going to dignify it with the name of missile dropkick.  MX make quick tags and work over Fatu.  Cornette hits Samu with the tennis racket on the outside, which pisses Samu off.  MX continue working over Fatu.  Fatu chops Lane in the throat and tags out.  Lane gets a sunset flip on Samu for 2.  The Samoans try to double team Lane in the corner, but Samu ends up accidentally decking Fatu again.  Hayes on commentary calls this “a main event in any arena.”  He must have hit the nose candy before they went on the air.  MX work over Samu.  The Samoans cut Lane off briefly, but Eaton gets the tag and cleans house.  MX switch behind the referee’s back without making a tag, but they’re babyfaces so it’s okay.  The match continues to drag.  Lane gets a near fall off a jackknife hold.  The referee took a while to count because everyone was in the ring.  Samoans get the heat on Eaton.  Lane gets the hot tag and runs wild.  The Samoans conk heads, which we know has no effect on Samoans.  Paul E. trips Lane.  Cornette hits Fatu with the tennis racket.  Samu kicks Lane.  Fatu covers for 2.  Fatu beats up Lane for a while.  Fatu knocks Eaton off the apron.  This pisses Eaton off, so he comes in to distract Tommy Young while the Samoans double team Lane.  Fatu goes for a diving headbutt, but Lane avoids it.  Samu and Eaton tag in.  Eaton runs wild.  He bonks the Samoans’ heads together.  They shrug it off and headbutt him.  One of the Samoans accidentally hits the other when Eaton moves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  MX hit the Rocket Laucher while Cornette decks Paul E.  Fatu hits Eaton with Paul E’s cell phone and puts Samu on top.  Samu pins Eaton in 20:33.  Solid formulaic tag match, but felt long.

Next, The Great Muta!

Great Muta (w/ Gary Hart) vs. Steve Casey.  Man, Muta is young here.  He meditates, then blows mist into the air, the blows mist into Casey’s face and kicks his ass.  Muta hits a handspring elbow to the corner, then hits a snapmare and clamps on a rear chin lock.  Casey manages to hit an arm drag and works Muta’s arm a bit.  Muta hits a nifty dropkick in the corner, then sends Casey outside and teases a dive.  Hart throws Casey back into the ring and Muta hits a diving dropkick.  Muta rakes Casey’s eyes and continues beating on him.  Casey works Muta’s arm a bit more.  Muta flips around and works on Casey’s leg.  Muta drops Casey with a sweet roundhouse kick, then puts a claw on his armpit.  Not a typo.  Casey makes his comeback and runs wild briefly.  Muta avoids a dropkick and sends Casey out of the ring with the kick that Shelton Benjamin would call the Dragon Whip 15 years later.  Muta then wipes Casey out with a cross body to floor and throws him into the barricade.  Back inside, Muta hits a backbreaker and finishes Casey with the moonsault press in 8:12.  Fine little showcase for Muta.  I love Muta, I love moonsaults, and I love Muta’s moonsaults.

Junkyard Dog comes out with a New Orleans marching band.

Junkyard Dog vs. “Hacksaw” Butch Reed (w/ Hiro Matsuda).  Ross puts over that these two are old rivals from the Mid-South territory, appropriate since we’re in the Superdome in New Orleans.  JYD lands a punc and Reed bails for a moment.  They want to fight, but Teddy Long insists that they open up the hands.  JYD grabs a side headlock, then some shoulder blocks.  He does the doggie headbutting deal and sends Reed outside again.  Reed dicks around for a bitm then comes back in.  JYD works Reed’s arm some.  JYD hits a hip toss and a body slam and continues to beat up Reed.  Reed finally gets the advantage and beats up JYD.  Reed drops some elbows for 2, then clamps on a chin lock.  JYD almost goes down, but rallies and makes his comeback.  BIG back body drop by JYD gets 2.  Double clothesline spot.  Reed hits  a diving shoulder block and covers, but JYD gets his foot on the ropes.  Reed stupidly celebrates.  Matsuda distracts the ref.  Reed collides with Matsuda.  For some reason, this knocks Reed out and allows JYD to get the pin in 8:54.  It wasn’t completely horrible.

Bob Orton Jr. (w/ Gary Hart) vs. “Captain Redneck” Dick Murdoch.  Lock up.  Orton hits a couple of fireman’s carrys.  Spell check doesn’t like that word.  Murdoch hits a fireman’s carry of his own.  They trade arm wringers.  I approve.  The work around arm locks for some time, and I’m perfectly fine with that.  Murdoch escapes a rough spot and they lock up again.  Orton puts a hurting on the back of Murdoch’s head.  Murdoch fights back on spaghetti legs (term stolen from Jim Ross).  Murdoch lands a dropkick and Orton takes a front bump into the turnbuckles.  Murdoch drops Orton with a BIG right hand.  Murdoch rolls to the floor and beats up Orton on the apron.  Orton rallies and goes for the superplex.  Murdoch fights him off and lands some blows.  Orton rakes the eyes.  Murdoch catches Orton coming into the corner and drops him.  Murdoch goes for the brainbuster, but Hart trips him and Orton lands on top for the pin in 9:47.  I dug the hell out of this.

NWA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Road Warriors (c) (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. Mike Rotunda & “Dr. Death” Steve Williams of The Varsity Club (w/ Kevin Sullivan).  Hawk and Rotunda start.  Hawk gets the better of it and Rotunda bails.  Hawk gives chased, but is blocked by referee Teddy Long.  Animal tags in.  He gets whipped towards the enemy corner and drops Doc with an elbow smash.  Animal press slams Rotunda.  Doc runs in and gets the same treatment.  Hawk and Doc tag in and brawl.  Hawk hits an atomic drop and a clothesline.  Cover, but Rotunda pulls him off.  Doc hits a clothesline and taunts Animal.  Rotunda tags in and hits an elbow drop for 2.  Hawk kicks out with authority.  Animal tags in and grabs a headlock.  Doc tags in and Animal gabs him too.  They go for a backdrop suplex, but Animal flips out and dropkicks them, then hits a double clothesline.  Animal gets low bridged out of the ring.  Doc drops him in the hard floor.  Back inside, the heels get the heat on Animal.  Hawk gets the tag, but the referee didn’t see it.  Animal continues to play face in peril.  He eventually drops Rotunda with a lariat.  Doc prevents him from making the tag.  Animal clotheslines Doc.  Hawk gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Animal shoves the ref.  Doomsday Device on Rotunda.  Sullivan and Ellering brawl on the floor.  Long refuses to count for the Road Warriors.  Doc schoolboys Hawk and Long makes a fast count to give the Varsity Club the titles in 11:37.  Okay match.  This must be the beginning of Teddy’s heel turn and becoming a manager.

Jim Ross interviews some pissed off Road Warriors and Paul Ellering at ringside.

Ranger Ross vs. The Iron Sheik (w/ Rip Morgan).  America vs. Iran.  Sheik sings the Iranian national anthem, then jumps Ross and chokes him with his robe.  Sheik hits a side suplex, then chokes Ross with his own shirt.  Ross hits a suplex for 1.  Rosss beats up Sheik.  Sheik applies an abdominal stretch.  Ross rallies and kicks Sheik in the head.  Cover.  Morgan hits Ross with the flag to cause the DQ in 1:55.  Sheik and Morgan attack Ross.  Junkyard Dog makes the save.

Bob Caudle interviews Ric Flair, who is going for his 6th World Championship tonight.

NWA United States Tag Team Championship Match: Rick Steiner & Eddie Gilbert (c) of The First Family (w/ Missy Hyatt) vs. Kevin Sullivan & Dan Spivey of The Varsity Club.  The heels attack the champs before the bell and get the jump on them.  The much larger Spivey beats up Gilbert.  The much shorter Sullivan tags in and provokes Steiner, who kindly distracts referee Tommy Young so Spivey can beat up Gilbert on the outside.  Gilbert continues to take abuse from the Varsity Club.  Steiner gets the tag and runs wild on Spivey.  Powerslam gets 2.  Steiner hits a belly to belly.  Sullivan breaks the cover.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Steiner clotheslines Spivey and both tumble out of the ring.  Gilbert nails Sullivan with Hyatt’s Gucci bag and cradles him for the pin in 3:51, even though neither were legal.  The Varsity Club beat up Gilbert, but Steiner makes the save with a chair.  It was short.

Wrestling Hotline!

2/3 Falls Match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat (c) (w/ Bonnie & Richie Steamboat) vs. “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair.  Terry Funk has joined Jim Ross for commentary on this match.  Flair and Steamboat lock up.  Steamboat pushes Flair into the corner and slaps him.  They trade holds and do some amateur-type stuff o the mat.  Steamboat slaps the piss out of Flair again, then wins a power arm lock contest.  Flair gets the ropes to break and bails.  They lock up again.  Steamboat hits a hip toss and gets a side headlock takeover.  They work around the headlock for a bit.  I always enjoy that.  They trade chops.  Back to the headlock.  Flair forces Steamboat into the corner and chops him.  Steamboat replies with a chop that knocks Flair off his feet.  Steamboat hits a big back body drop.  Flair lands a closed fist punch.  Steamboat gets a reverse cradle for 2, then hits a clothesline and goes back to the headlock.  Steamboat beats up Flair a bit.  Flair face plants and Steamboat covers for 2.  Flair hits an inverted atomic drop.  Steamboat drops Flair with another chop for 2.  Steamboat hits a shoulder block for 2.  Another chop gets 2 for Steamboat.  Flair bails and face plants at ringside.  Back inside, Flair lands some chops.  Steamboat responds in kind.  Steamboat gets another near fall.  Steamboat hits a vertical suplex and goes for a splash, but Flair gets his knees up.  Flair goes to work on Steamboat.  Flair hits a butterfly suplex and tries to hold Steamboat down, but gets only a series of 2 counts.  Steamboat fires back, but whiffs a dropkick.  Flair goes for the figure-four, but Steamboat cradles him ala Chi-Town Rumble.  Flair cuts back the cradle and pins Steamboat to win the first fall in 19:35.  Commercials.  They go at it again.  Steamboat hits a diving chop for 2.  Flair hits a backdrop suplex and a knee drop.  He misses a second knee drop and Steamboat attacks his leg.  Steamboat locks in the figure-four.  Flair suffers for a moment, but gets the ropes.  Steamboat locks on a crab hold.  Flair gets another rope break and hides out in the corner.  Steamboat goes back on the attack anyway.  They do some more sweet mat wrestling, then end up outside.  Flair sends Steamboat into the barricade and slams him on the floor.  Coming back inside, Flair jerks Steamboat’s neck down across the ropes.  Flair suplexes Steamboat back inside for 2.  Flair applies an abdominal stretch and turns it into a ground Cobra Twist for 2.  Flair tries to pin Steamboat with his feet on the ropes, but fails.  Steamboat gets a reverse cradle for 2, then a jackknife hold for 2.  Flair goes back on the offensive.  He goes up top, but Steamboat cuts him off and hits a superplex.  Steamboat applies a double chickenwing armlock and Flair submits to give Steamboat the second fall in 35:03.  Insta-commercials.  They keep going hard at it.  Flair hits a shin breaker and applies the figure-four.  Steamboat quickly gets the ropes.  Flair argues with the referee.  They do some stuff.  Flair does the Flair flip in the corner and runs into a chop from Steamboat on the apron.  Flair begs off, then trips up Steamboat and goes for the Flair pin in the corner, but only gets 2.  Steamboat misses Flair in the corner and gets hung their briefly, injuring his knee.  Flair goes to work on the leg and reapplies the figure-four.  Steamboat suffers for a while, but finally roles into the ropes.  Flair sends Steamboat’s bad leg into the apron.  Flair hits a diving cross body for 2.  Steamboat goes for a slam, but his leg gives out and Flair gets another 2 count.  Steamboat hits a flying headbutt and a chop, then comes off the top with the diving cross body for 2.  Steamboat hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Steamboat goes for a springboard sunset flip.  Flair fights it, but Steamboat gets him over for 2.  Flair clamps on a sleeper hold.  Steamboat nearly goes out, but rallies and manages to send Flair outside.  Back inside, Steamboat lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Steamboat comes off the top rope, but Flair avoids it and goes back to work on Steamboat’s leg.  They trade chops.  Steamboat wins the exchange and beats up Flair int he corner.  Flair goes for an inverted atomic drop, but Steamboat blocks it and chops him.  Cover, but Flair gets his foot on the rope.  Flair elbows Steamboat on the head and hits a backdrop suplex.  Flair goes up top again.  Steamboat throws him off.  Steamboat gets the chickenwing armlock again.  Steamboat’s leg gives out and they fall back, putting both mens’ shoulders on the mat.  Steamboat lifts his at the last second and gets the pin in 55:30, even though Flair’s foot is under the rope.  Steamboat retains the title.  Great match, but I disagree with those who say this is better than Chi-Town Rumble.  Insta-commercials.

Jim Ross interviews NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ricky Steamboat.  He’s ready to move on from Ric Flair.  They examine the video and see that Flair’s foot was on the bottom rope.  Steamboat agrees that Flair deserves another shot.

Enjoyable show.  Flair/Steamboat is a classic and I really dug the Orton/Murdoch match and the Muta showcase.

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WWF WrestleMania II (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2010 by Grappleholic

This review was originally written on 12/22/09.

On we march, with WrestleMania II!

WWE open, since this is from the Anthology.  WWF: The Recognized Worldwide Leader in Sports.  WrestleMania II: What The World Has Come To.  I should mention now that for some reason, they decided it would be a good idea to have WrestleMania II from 3 locations: Uniondale, New York, Chicago (Rosemont), Illinois, and Los Angeles, California.

First to New York, where Vince McMahon delivers his famous “Welcome to WrestleMania!” line.  Vince introduces his color commentator for the New York portion, Susan St. James.  I see Howard Finkel is the ring announcer for New York.  Ray Charles sings “America the Beautiful.”

Cut to Mean Gene Okerlund in Chicago for a minute.

Back in New York, some old fat guy interviews Roddy Piper (with “Cowboy” Bob Orton), who will be boxing Mr. T tonight.  Piper cuts a typically great promo, with the awesome line “If Mr. T can knock me out in this fight, I would not only quit professional boxing, I would quit professional wrestling, I would quit tiddlywinks, I would quit dating girls!”  He then turns to Orton and says “I’d stick with you, though.”

Don Muraco (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff.  After the opening bell, they play pre-taped audio comments from both wrestlers.  That strikes me as dumb.  They lock up.  Orndorff gets the better of it at first.  Orndorff gets Muraco on the mat and applies an arm lock.  Susan St. James is horrible on commentary.  Muraco tries to arm drag his way out of it, but Orndorff keeps it clamped on.  Muraco finally hits a Samoan drop to escape the punishment of his arm.  They go out of the ring and brawl to a double count-out at 4:33.  Crowd chants “BULLSHIT!”  It started off good, then went downhill.

Mr. T interviews himself.  During this, Finkel finally makes the announcement that the last match was a double count-out.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Randy Savage (c) (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. George “The Animal” Steele.  A pre-taped interview during Savage’s entrance.  This show is so sloppily produced.  Susan likes Steele.  Savage bails as soon as Steele goes after him.  Savage gets back in the ring.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Steele finally gets hold of Savage and bites his leg.  Steele picks up Savage by the neck, chokes him, then drops him.  Steele gets distracted, looking at Elizabeth.  Savage ties him up in the ropes and puts the boots to him.  Savage with a diving crossbody for 2.  Steele throws Savage out of the ring.  Savage crawls under the ring, comes out the other side, and jumps Steele from behind.  Steele bites Savage’s arm.  Steele clubs Savage until Savage gouges his eyes.  Savage slaps Steele with a bouquet of flowers.  Steele bites him again, then hits him with the flowers.  Steele eats the turnbuckle pad.  He feeds some of the stuffing to Savage.  Savage bails.  Who can blame him?  Steele chases him around the ring.  Steele pleads with Elizabeth.  Savage comes off the top with the diving axe handle to the outside.  Back in the ring,  Savage slams Steele and hits the diving elbow, but Steele kicks out at 1.  Steele grabs Savage’s nose, then throws him into the corner.  The ref admonishes Steele.  Savage trips Steele up and gets the Flair pin in the corner at 7:08.  This sucked.  Steele eats another turnbuckle, then chases the referee to the back.

In Chicago, Mean Gene interviews two of the participants in the NFL vs. WWF Battle Royal, Bill Fralic and Big John Studd.  During this, we hear Finkel’s annoucement that Savage was the winner and still the Intercontinental Champion.  Gah.

Vince and Susan talk about snakes.

George Wells vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  They trade punches.  Wells with a backdrop.  Snake sends Wells to the outside and they brawl on the floor.  Back inside, Wells hits a shoulder block.  Wells whips Roberts into the corner, then takes him over with a head scissors.  Wells with a knee lift.  Wells with a powerslam for 2.  Snake gouges the eyes, then begs off and bails.  Wells follows him out and back into the ring.  Roberts gets a cheap shot with the knee lift when Wells is still coming through the ropes, then hits the DDT for the pin at 3:05.  Jake puts the snake on Wells after the match.  The match was fine for what it was.

They show an altercation between Roddy Piper and Mr. T that led to tonight’s match, which I believe took place on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Cut to Los Angeles, where Jesse Ventura interviews the WWF Champion, Hulk Hogan.

Back to Vince and Susan, then to Finkel in the ring to introduce the celebrities for the New York main event.  The guest ring announcer is Joan Rivers.  She introduces the judges: Darryl Dawkins, Cab Calloway, and G. Gordon Liddy.  The special guest timekeeper is Herb.  I don’t know who any of those people are.  The referee is Jack somebody.

Boxing Match: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (w/ “Cowboy” Bob Orton and the old fat guy) vs. Mr. T (w/ Joe Frazier & the Haiti Kid).  They box.  It sucks.  I’m not a boxing fan anyway, and I really hate lame, worked boxing matches in wrestling.  The first round ends.  They go to their corners.  Round 2 starts.  They box some more.  It still sucks.  I do like Piper’s plaid boxing trunks.  Round 2 ends.  Piper cheap shots T again anyway.  Orton throws a bucket of water on T to boot.  Round 3 starts.  Guess what?  They box!  T punches Piper out of the ring.  He barely makes it back in.  They’re both getting tired.  Round 3 ends.  Just end this shit already.  Piper throws his stool at Mr. T.  Round 4 starts.  They punch each other.  Piper knocks T’s mouthpiece out.  T knocks Piper’s mouthpiece out.  Piper socks the ref, then body slams Mr. T to cause the DQ at 1:17 of the 4th round.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Man, this sucked.

Now on to the Chicago portion of the show.  Gorilla Monsoon and Mean Gene hype the battle royal.  Gorilla introduces their color commentator for this portion, Cathy Lee Crosby.  Never heard of her either.  Curse my lack of knowledge of low level celebrities from before I was born.  Chet Coppock is the ring announcer for Chicago.

WWF Women’s Championship Match: The Fabulous Moolah (c) vs. Velvet McIntyre.  Moolah jumps McIntyre immediately and kicks her ass.  McIntyre fires back with dropkicks and an elbow smash.  McIntyre with a body slam, then comes off the top with a big splash, but Moolah moves out of the way, then covers McIntyre for the pin at the 59 second mark.  Well that was utterly pointless.

Gorilla, Gene, and Crosby hype the battle royal again.

Flag Match: Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Freddie Blassie) vs. Corporal Kirchner.  Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem before the match.  The winner gets to wave his flag. Volkoff goes on the offensive early.  Kirchner fights back.  Kirchner knocks down the referee.  While he’s down, Kirchner catches Blassie’s cane and nails Volkoff with it for the pin at 1:35, so he gets to hold up Old Glory.  Match was nothing.

Mean Gene is in the ring to explain the rules for a battle royal.  The timekeeper is the “where’s the beef” lady.  The referees are Dick Butkus and Ed “Too Tall” Jones.

Battle Royal featuring Jimbo Covert, Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, The Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes, The Killer Bees of Brian Blair and Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic, The Hart Foundation of Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart, Russ Francis, Bruno Sammartino, William “The Refrigerator” Perry, and Andre the Giant.  There’s no opening bell, but everyone just starts fighting.  “Big Cat” Ernie Ladd joins Gorilla and Crosby at the announce table for whatever reason.  Ah, I guess because he was both a football player and a wrestler.  Tonga and one of the football players eliminate each other.  Holmes gets eliminated, I think by Bruno, or maybe Studd.  Brunzell gets tossed.  Perry eliminates Atlas.  A bunch of guys try to gang up on Andre.  Morales and Marvin eliminate each other.  Arcidi, Jim, and Spivey try to dump Blair, but he slips back in and helps the other guys dump Arcidi.  Sheik dumps Spivey.  Sheik dumps Jim and Blair.  Sheik and Studd dump Fralic.  Sammartino backdrops Sheik out of the ring.  Sammartino beats up Studd.  Harts beat up Perry.  Andre beats up one of the little guys, I think it’s Russ Frances.  Studd eliminates Bruno.  Perry throws the Harts over the top rope, but they both hit the apron and come back in.  Studd dumps Perry.  Perry shakes Studd’s hand, then, poor sport that he is, pulls Studd out of the ring.  It’s down to Andre, the Harts, and Frances.  Andre gets tied up in the ropes.  The Harts dump Frances, then double team Andre.  Andre big boots Hart, then rams Hart and Neidhart’s heads together.  Big boot to Neidhart sends him out of the ring.  Andre press slams Hart out of the ring and onto Neidhart to win it in about 9 minutes.

Cut to New York, where Vince and Susan talk to Roddy Piper.

Back to Chicago, where Jimbo Covert bitches about getting eliminated from behind.  Gene talks to The Iron Sheik.  “Wrestler is better than football player!”  Replays of the battle royal.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: The Dream Team (c) (w/ Johnny Valiant) vs. The British Bulldogs (w/ Captain Lou Albano & Ozzy Osbourne).  Davey Boy Smith and Greg Valentine start.  Smith shines early.  Valentine hits a hip toss, but Davey Boy avoids an elbow drop.  Tag to Dynamite.  Dynamite kicks Valentine’s ass and snap suplexes him, then tags Davey Boy back in.  Davey Boy hits his stalling suplex for 2.  Valentine bails to take a breather.  Valentine comes back in and hammers Smith, then headbutts him in the groin.  Tag to Beefcake.  Smith with a press slam, then the tag to Dynamite.  Dynamite with an inside cradle for 2.  Tag to Smith, who hits a Fisherman’s suplex for 2.  Tag to Valentine, who comes off the top with a clubbing blow to Smith.  Valentine with a suplex for 2.  Tag to Dynamite.  He and Valentine trade blows.  Bulldogs make quick tags to work over Valentine.  Beefcake comes in to club Dynamite, and is sent out by the ref.  Dynamite with a sunset flip on Valentine for 2.  Dynamite with a backbreaker, but Beefcake pulls him off of the cover.  Dynamite continues to wear down Valentine.  Valentine drops Dynamite with a sick piledriver for 2.  He tries to hold Dynamite’s shoulders down and ends up getting kicked in the balls.  Valentine goes up top and gets thrown across the ring by Dynamite.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Smith tries to press slam Dynamite onto Valentine, but Valentine bails.  Smith tags in and hits the running powerslam on Valentine for a close 2.  Smith with another suplex for 2.  Valentine finally manages to get the advantage on Smith and tags in Beefcake, who puts a beating on Davey Boy.  Tag to Valentine, who comes off the top with another clubbing blow.  Valentine continues working over Davey and drops him with a shoulder breaker, but foolishly picks him up at 2.  Smith throws Valentine into the Bulldog’s corner, where he collides head first with Dynamite.  Smith covers Valentine to get the 3 and capture the tag titles at 12:02.  Finally, a good match!  Ozzy and Captain Lou celebrate while Davey Boy helps up the knocked loopy Dynamite at ringside.  Mean Gene talks to Ozzy and Captain Lou.  He finally manages to talk to Davey Boy.  Replay of the pretty sick finish.

That’s it for Chicago!  Back to Vince and Susan in New York to talk about what’s still to come in the Los Angeles portion of the show.

Jesse Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Elvira will host the LA portion of the show.  Lee Marshall is the ring announcer.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat.  Hercules immediately goes on the attack.  Steamboat fires back with a karate chop and a pair of arm drags.  He attacks Hercules’ arm.  Steamboat leap frogs Herc a bunch and nails him with an elbow.  Steamboat with a suplex, then back to the arm.  Herc blasts Steamboat with a clothesline and hits him with some vicious knees.  Herc hot shots Steamboat into the ropes and beats on him some more.  Steamboat tries to fight back, but almost gets pinned.  Elvira is extremely annoying on commentary.  Herc drops Steamboat with an elbow, then drops a couple more elbows on him.  Cover gets 2.  Steamboat chops Herc.  Herc avoids another chop and drops Steamboat with a discus lariat for 2.  Herc with a press slam.  Herc with another press slam.  Herc comes off the top with a dive, but gets caught by Steamboat’s knees.  Steamboat off the top with a diving crossbody for the pin at 7:33.  It wasn’t bad.

Man, Adrian Adonis sure has changed since we last saw him at The Wrestling Classic.  He was a rough a tough type then… now he’s a cross dresser with bad makeup.

“Adorable” Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Uncle Elmer.  Hart sprays Elmer with perfume, so he chases Hart and Adonis out of the ring, where they hug.  Elmer attacks Adonis we gets back into the ring. No opening bell that I heard. Adonis Flair flips in the corner, then falls out of the ring.  He gets back in and Elmer knocks him out of the ring again.  Elmer rips Adonis’ dress, then knocks him into the ropes where he gets tied up.  When Adonis gets untied, he finally goes on the attack.  He takes off the remains of his dress.  Elmer with the Avalanche in the corner, then he goes for a leg drop, but Adonis avoids it.  Adonis off the top with a headbutt/splash for the pin in about 3 minutes.  This sucked.

Lord Alfred interviews Hogan.

The Funk Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Junkyard Dog & Tito Santana.  Dory has been given the name “Hoss” for whatever reason.  Terry throws chairs in the ring.  The faces throw them out.  Dory and JYD lock up.  JYD slams both of the Funks, then they bail.  Tito and Terry tag in.  Terry throws some vicious sounding chops.  Tito clotheslines him out of the ring.  Dory jumps in and eats a couple of Tito’s dropkicks, then rolls out himself.  Tag to JYD.  He lands some punches on Terry, then rams his head into the turnbuckle repeatedly.  JYD with a headbutt for 2.  JYD throws Terry out of the ring.  I swear, the Funks have spent more time on the outside of the ring than in it during this match.  Tag to Dory.  Tag to Tito.  Tito with a flying jalapeno for 2, as Terry saves.  Dory and Tito run the ropes, but Terry catches Tito with a knee to the back.  Terry tags in and throws Tito to the floor, where Jimmy puts the boots to him.  JYD runs him off.  Funks put the boots to Tito.  JYD runs Hart off again and helps Tito back into the ring.  Terry with a suplex for 2.  He argues with referee Dave Hebner.  Tito counters another suplex attempt with one of his own.  Terry and Tito knock heads.  Tag to Dory.  Dory with the Texas suplex for 2.  Funks continue to work over Tito.  Hot tag to JYD.  JYD cleans house.  Terry chokes JYD with a rope,  JYD backdrops Terry out of the ring.  JYD kicks their asses on the outside.  JYD decks Jimmy Hart.  JYD with an inside cradle on Terry.  Dory saves.  Tito puts Dory in the figure-four.  The referee makes Tito leave the ring.  Jimmy throws Terry the megaphone.  Terry hits JYD in the head with it for the pin at 11:44.  Okay match.

They set up the cage.  It’s a special reinforced cage so King Kong Bundy won’t go through the side, the famous big blue cage.

They show what led up to Hogan/Bundy in a cage, a brutal attack by Bundy and Don Muraco on Saturday Night’s Main Event.  They show Hogan lifting weights with Hillbilly Jim and a doctor, while Gene talks to them about Hogan’s injuries.

Ventura interviews Bundy and Bobby Heenan.

Elvira, who is awful, throws it to New York with Vince and Susan, who is almost as awful.  They talk, then back to LA.

Marshall introduces the guest ring announcer for the main event, Tommy Lasorda.  Lasorda introduces the the guest thimekeeper, Ricky Schroder, and the guest referee, Robert Conrad.  Well, at least I know who Rick Schroder is.

Steel Cage Match for the WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan (c) vs. King Kong Bundy (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Hogan has taped ribs.  They start brawling.  Hogan chokes Bundy with his own singlet.  Elvira says this match resembles a horror movie.  I agree, but probably for different reasons.  Bundy tires of getting beat up by the walrus and attacks Hogan’s ribs.  Bundy tries to escape through the door.  Hogan stops him, so Bundy picks up Hogan and rams his back into the cage.  Bundy takes the bandage off of Hogan’s ribs and chokes him with it.  He ties Hogan to the bottom rope and tries to leave.  Hogan gets free and chokes Bundy with the tag rope.  Hogan rams Bundy head first into the cage.  Hogan beats up Bundy a bit.  Bundy is bleeding.  Hogan tries to slam Bundy, who falls on top of him.  Hogan chokes Bundy with the bandage from earlier.  Bundy fights back.  Avalanche and a big splash by Bundy.  Bundy tries to escape again.  Hogan stops him.  Hogan avoids another avalanche and slams Bundy, then hits the leg drop.  Bundy tries to stop Hogan, but Hogan kicks him off the ropes and to the floor.  Hogan escapes over the top at 10:20.  Bundy goes out through the door a moment later.  Just to show what a role model he is, Hogan throws Heenan into the cage and beats him up after the match, then celebrates.

So that’s WrestleMania II.  Man, it sucked.  The only redeeming thing is the Bulldogs’ title win over the Dream Team.