Archive for Cryme Tyme

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 6/19/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

Episode #513: Punk and Disorderly!  I love these titles.

WWE open, Smackdown open, then Jim Ross and Todd Grisham welcome us to… wherever we are tonight.  Roanoke, Virginia!  Tonight, Jeff Hardy takes on Chris Jericho, while CM Punk takes on Rey Mysterio!

Josh Matthews interviews Jeff Hardy in the ring.  They show highlights of Hardy’s Ladder match with Edge at Extreme Rules, where Hardy won the World Championship, then CM Punk cashed in Money In The Bank and beat him for the title.  Then they show Punk retaining the title against Hardy and Edge on Raw this past Monday.  Hardy says he’ll beat Punk at The Bash.  Matthews says they should hear things from Punk’s point of view, so Punk comes out to retort.  Punk defends his actions, rightfully saying that he won both of those matches well within the rules.  They agree that they live different lifestyles, and they’ll settle their differences at the Bash.  Hardy gets cheered, Punk gets booed.  Insta-commercial!

Non-Title: Jeff Hardy vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho.  Grisham calls it “The Extreme Enigma vs. The Extreme Ego.”  Jericho tends to hit moves, but take time to posture to the crowd instead of staying on his opponent.  Jericho applies an abdominal stretch, but Hardy escapes it and makes his comeback… not that there was much of a heat to make a comeback from.  Jericho avoids a kick and goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Hardy counters it.  Jericho hits a backdrop suplex.  Ouch.  Hardy avoids the Lionsault.  Hardy hits a front suplex and goes up top for the Swanton, but Jericho bails.  Hardy dives to the outside.  Jericho avoids it and Hardy eats the barricade.  Jericho tosses Hardy back in, then Mysterio comes out of the crowd and ranas Jericho.  Jericho ends up going facefirst into the ringpost and gets counted out at 4:56.  Mysterio goes back into the crowd with 2 other people with the same mask and outfit.  Cute.  Match was disappointing.  Hardy gives Jericho the Twist of Fate and the Swanton for good measure.

Layla and Eve fight over hairspray or something.  Maria plays peacemaker.  Dolph Ziggler shows up and they all get his name wrong.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh).  Khali kicks his ass for a bit, but Ziggler manages to make a comeback and chops Khali’s leg out from under him.  Khali gets DQ’d for a phantom chairshot at 2:03.  Ziggler outsmarts Khali again!

Still to come, Punk vs. Mysterio!

Randy Orton is featured in this month’s WWE magazine!

Raw Rebound.  Scroll down and read the Raw report if you want to know what happened.

Non-Title: WWE Women’s Champion Melina vs. Alicia Fox (w/ Michelle McCool).  Melina will defend the title against McCool at The Bash.  Fox gets Melina in a body scissors, then turns it into a painful looking full nelson.  Melina comes back and beats her with the Code Red at 1:43.  McCool jumps Melina after the match and beats her down, then cuts an awful promo.

John Morrison takes on Edge NEXT!  That should be good.

Edge cuts a promo bitching about not getting another title shot, then says Morrison isn’t fit to breathe his air or be in his ring.  Morrison comes out.  Edge says Morrison wants to be him.  Morrison says Edge isn’t entertaining anymore and he always whines.  Morrison says after this match, Edge will have something to complain about.  Insta-commercial!

This is the version of Smackdown that aired in Australia and New Zealand, so we get some hype for Raw house shows there next month.

Edge vs. John Morrison.  They start with some nice chain wrestling, starting off slow and building it up.  Edge gets heat on him for a while.  Morrison tries to fight back, but Edge sends him off the top rope to the floor.  Insta-commercial.  Edge continues working Morrison over and targets the ribs.  Morrison nails a sweet knee to the face for 2.  Edge goes up top, but Morrison nails his flip kick to send Edge to the floor.  Morrison hits a sweet baseball slide headscissors and sends Edge into the steps.  Back in the ring, cover gets 2.  Edge avoids the Flying Chuck and locks in the Sharpshooter.  Morrison gets a rope break.  Morrison gets a sunset flip for 2.  Morrison hits a Russian leg sweep and heads up to for the Starship Pain, but Edge pulls him down.  Morrison avoids a spear in the corner and crades Edge for 2, then Edge sends him shoulder first into the ring post.  Morrison leapfrogs another spear and hits the Flying Chuck for 2.  Edge counters the Moonlight Drive and hits the Implant DDT, but Morrison kicks out!  Morrison hits a neat DDT for 2.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain again, but Edge moves, then hits the spear for the win (about 13 1/2 minutes shown).  Really good match.

Punk vs. Mysterio is still to come!

Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, & Ricky Ortiz vs. R-Truth & Cryme Tyme.  JTG and Ortiz start.  JTG takes Ortiz down, then tags in Shad, who kicks his ass.  Ortiz avoids a big boot and attacks Shad’s knee.  Haas tags in and continues working Shad’s knee.  Lukewarm tag to Truth.  Benjamin tags in as well and gets the better of him.  Truth connects with a loud slap, then a loud kick for 2.  Haas and Ortiz break the cover.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Truth catches Benjamin coming off the top rope and goes for the scissors kick.  Shelton avoids it, but Truth catches him with a corkscrew elbow smash for the win at 4:03.

The main event is next!

12 Rounds is coming out on DVD.  I don’t fucking care.

Mysterio comes down and says it felt good to give Jericho a taste of his own medicine earlier tonight.  Mysterio says he wants to challenge Jericho to another title match.  Jericho comes out to the stage and says he already gave Mysterio his rematch and beat him.  Jericho babbles for a while.  Mysterio tells him to shut up.  They eventually agree to a mask vs. title match at the PPV.

Non-Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk.  Jericho is doing commentary.  Punk is still working as a face, and he’s still selling the knee from Raw.  Mysterio attacks Punk’s knee.  Punk fights back.  Punk avoids the 619.  Insta-commercial.  Mysterio takes the shoulder into the ring post bump and gets schoolboyed for 2.  Punk works Mysterio’s shoulder.  Mysterio comes back again and does his stuff.  Mysterio hits the Bombs Away, hits the ropes, and gets caught with a big kick by Punk for 2.  Punk hits the knee in the corner, avoids the 619, and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Mysterio counters into a pinning predicament for 2.  Mysterio tries a flip, but Punk catches him in the Go 2 Sleep position again.  Mysterio holds on to the ropes, so Punk tosses him out.  The referee stops Punk from going outside and Jericho uses the distraction to attack Mysterio.  Mysterio beats the count back in the ring, but Punk hits the Go 2 Sleep for the win (8:19 shown).  Jeff Hardy runs down to complain to the ref… or something.  Punk leaves as Jeff’s music plays.  Fin.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/23/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then a replay of last week’s big closing angle, in which Randy Orton RKO’d Stephanie McMahon and incurred the wrath of her husband (that they’re finally acknowledging on TV), Triple H.

Justin Roberts (where’s Lillian?) introduces the ever annoying Smackdown GM, Vickie Guerrero.  She says that since there are no more McMahons, she’s now the GM of Raw too.  Fuck.  John Cena comes out.  I’ve never been so happy to see him.  Cena makes fun of Michael Cole, who’s at the commentary table with Jerry Lawler.  Cena says he’s going to cash in his rematch clause to get his title shot against Edge tonight.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out with Big Show.  Cena tells Edge to stand up like a man and be a champion.  Edge blabs for a while, then Cena makes a funny comment.  Something like, “You’re only running your mouth because you’re standing here with that 400 pound beast, and you brought Big Show too.”  Show tells Cena to respect Vickie.  Cena speculates that Show is there to pick up Edge’s slack in the bedroom.  Vickie says Cena will either face her family or her friend tonight.  Cena says either is fine with him.  It’ll probably be some lame handicap match with Cena vs. Edge, Show, & Chavo.

Tonight, CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz in a triple threat Money In The Bank Qualifying match.

Legacy arrives at the building.  Why aren’t they at work on time like everyone else?

Tonight, JBL vs. Shawn Michaels with the winner facing Undertaker at WrestleMania.

Non-Title, Money In The Bank Qualifying Triple Threat Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion CM Punk vs. World Tag Team Champion John Morrison vs. World Tag Team Champion The Miz.  The briefcase is hanging above the ring, just for the hell of it.  Punk tries to pin Miz quickly with an inside cradle, but Morrison breaks it.  Miz and Morrison double team Punk.  Punk fights back and nails Miz with a kick that sends him off the apron.  A clothesline from Miz takes he and Punk both out of the ring.  Commercial.  Back from break, Morrison is stretching Punk in the ring.  During the break, Miz was taken out with a cross body off the steps from Punk and a friendly fire Shooting Star press off the apron from Morrison.  Punk fights back with kicks and knees.  Miz comes back in and nails Punk, then works him over.  Morrison is out from Punk’s corner knee kick.  Morrison comes back in and Punk takes them both down.  He hits a powerslam on Morrison, but Miz saves.  Miz gets Morrison up on his shoulders and Morrison hits a Doomsday Device-style Moonlight Drive.  Miz covers, but Morrison breaks it.  Morrison covers, but Punk kicks out.  Morrison and Miz fight with each other.  Punk grabs Morrison and uses his legs to knock Miz out of the ring, then hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin on Morrison at 10:26.  Pretty good little match.  Straightedge to the bank two years in a row!

Last week on Smackdown, Jim Ross did a sit down interview with Triple H.  Next, they’ll replay it.

As promised, we get Triple H’s interview from Smackdown.  He says Orton crossed the line when he RKO’d Triple H’s wife.

Todd Grisham is outside Orton’s dressing room, hoping for an interview.  Dibiase and Rhodes come out.  Rhodes says the McMahons are responsible for what happened to them.  Dibiase says Orton will address his actions tonight, and if Triple H wants to get involved, they’ll be ready.

Santino, Beth, Rosa, and Dolph Ziggler are heading to the ring after the first good Santino segment in over a month at least.

WWE Rewind: Last week, Melina beat Beth Phoenix to retain the Women’s Championship when the face Divas came out to neutralize Santino and Rosa.

There are guys in the parking lot waiting for Triple H to show up.

Cryme Tyme & WWE Women’s Champion Melina vs. Santino Marella, Dolph Ziggler, & Beth Phoenix (w/ Rosa Mendez).  The ladies start.  Beth picks Melina up.  Melina fights back, then falls on her ass.  Tags to Ziggler and JTG.  They have a really nice exchange.  JTG does that facebuster that I always think is going to be a monkey flip.  Ziggler fights back and beats him down.  Santino wants in.  JTG gets in a shot and makes the hot tag to Shad, who kicks Ziggler’s ass.  Ziggler finally tags in Santino.  Santino pumps himself up, charges Shad, and promptly gets STO’d by Shad for the pin at 3:57.

Shawn Michaels vs. JBL is NEXT!

WrestleMania hype video.

Cena is backstage wondering who he’s facing tonight.  They play the trailer for his new movie.

JBL vs. Shawn Michaels.  They block up, then Shawn jumps on JBL and starts throwing punches.  The match goes back and forth for a while.  JBL knocks Michaels out of the ring.  He follows Shawn out and tries to throw him into the ring post, but Michaels reverses and sends JBL in head first.  They barely beat the count back into the ring.  Commercial.  Back from break, JBL goes for a superplex.  Michaels fights him off, but then takes a boot to the face and nasty bump to the floor.  Michaels makes it back in and kicks out of JBL’s clothesline.  I remember when that used to be a killer finish.  He ducks another attempt and does the elbow smash followed by the nip up, a pair of atomic drops, a body slam, and the diving elbow.  JBL avoids the superkick and misses the lariat.  Michaels does the Flair flip in the corner, then gets thrown over but skins the cat back in.  JBL gives him a boot and taunts him.  JBL goes for the lariat again, but Michaels catches him flush with the superkick for the win at 13:01.  Not bad.  Vladimir Kozlov comes down and stares down Shawn.  Apparently now he and Shawn will face each other next week, with the winner jobbing to Taker at Mania.  Michaels takes a swing at Kozlov and gets laid out with the spinebuster.  Crowd boos Kozlov big.

Legacy are suiting up in the back.  Commercial.

This week on Smackdown, the Hardy Boyz EXPLODE!

WrestleMania hype video: WrestleMania 24.

Jamie Noble is in the ring, saying he’ll last longer against his opponent tonight than he did last week.

Jamie Noble vs. Mike Knox.  Knox wins with his finish in 30 seconds according to my clock, 29 according to WWE’s.

2009 Hall of Fame Inductees: Steve Austin and Dory & Terry Funk.  New inductee: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat!  I fully approve, as he’s one half of my favorite match ever.  He’ll be inducted by the other half of that match, Ric Flair!

Cole introduces Ricky Steamboat.  He says winning the Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania III was the highlight of his career, and going into the Hall of Fame is the greatest highlight of his life.  That’s gotta be hyperbole.  Chris Jericho comes out as everyone expected.  Jericho’s happy Mickey Rourke didn’t win an Oscar.  Hey says Steamboat sold out when he came to WWE, bring up his cartoonish Dragon character from the early 90s.  He says Steamboat is the biggest hypocrite of them all.  Steamboat mentions signing an autograph 20 years ago for a young Jericho, who was a big fan of him.  Steamboat cuts a long promo on him, then Jericho cheap shots him and leaves him laying.

Earlier tonight… Vickie told Cena he’d face her friend or her family tonight.  It’s NEXT!

In the middle of a commercial, they show a long dark shot of the Raw arena for no reason.

Cole and Lawler explain that it was technical difficulties.  Grisham says Triple H still hasn’t arrived.

Cena comes out for his match.  Vickie says he doesn’t get a title shot tonight.  Cena says he’s going to follow Vickie around until she grants him his title shot.  Cena’s opponent is… Chavo Guerrero!

John Cena vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Cena wins in 46 seconds with the F-U and the STFU… er, the Attitude Adjustment and the STF.

Legacy is heading to the ring.  Orton has a sledgehammer.

Tomorrow night on ECW: Jack Swagger vs. Christian for the ECW Championship.

Next week, Michaels vs. Kozlov with the winner jobbing to Taker at WrestleMania.

Legacy comes out to the ring.  Orton cuts his promo, again blaming his explosive diarrhea for his actions.  WWE Champion Triple H finally arrives at the arena and comes out in full pissed off psycho mode, sledgehammer in hand.  Orton tries to reason with him, going as far as to drop his sledgehammer out of the ring.  Triple H reciprocates the gesture.  Triple H comes up with another sledgehammer, nails Rhodes, then chases Orton and Dibiase to the back, where they find lots of locked doors.  They barricade themselves in the locker room.  Triple H bashes down the door with the sledgehammer and corners them.  Dibiase ducks a swing that could have decapitated him, then gets nailed in the back with a safe shot.  Orton ducks a hammer throw and Triple H breaks the dressing room mirror.  I guess if he drops the belt at Mania, he can blame it on bad luck.  Orton and Dibiase make it to their car.  Triple H smashes a window, but they get away.  Fade to black.

Fun show overall.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/16/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then Lillian Garcia introduces the General Manager of Smackdown, Vickie Guerrero.  She in turn introduces, Edge, who in a strange turn of events last night at No Way Out became World Heavyweight Champion.  As they make their way to the ring, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us LIVE to Spokane, Washington.

Edge throws out some possibilites as to what the R in Rated R Superstar stands for, then he says all the fans were wrong when they thought he was done for the night after he lost the WWE Championship last night.  Then he runs around and acts like a moron.  Vickie tries to speak over loud boos.  She says that since Stephanie McMahon left No Way Out to accompany Shane to the hospital, she became the highest ranking WWE official there.  She says that since Kofi Kingston was physically unable to participate in the Elimination Chamber match, she used her authority to give his slot to someone deserving.  She fails to mention that Edge was the one who made Kofi physically unable to enter the Chamber.  Then she gives her annoying “excuse me” line, and she and Edge make out.  Gross.  Cena’s music hits.  He’s all smiles, even though he lost the title last night after taking everybody’s finish.  Cena congratulates Edge and says he won the match last night fair and square.  He then mentions another possibility for what the R could stand for: Rematch.  Edge says no, because he wrestled in two Elimination Chamber matches last night.  Cena tells them to go back to Smackdown and say hello to Festus and Funaki for him, then gets sick at the thought of Edge and Vickie being intimate together.  Edge recaps his history with Cena, bringing up the time he slapped Cena’s dad.  Cena tells Edge he can’t hide or run from him.  I’m guessing we get Cena/Edge #849 at WrestleMania.

Shane McMahon is backstage.  He challenges Randy Orton to an unsanctioned fight tonight.  Commercial.

WrestleMania hype commercial.

WWE Intercontinental Champion CM Punk & Cryme Tyme vs. William Regal (w/ Layla), Ted Dibiase Jr., & Cody Rhodes.  Punk and Cody start.  They trade hammerlocks.  Cody slams Punk, the Punk nails him with a kick and hits the Go 2 Sleep.  Regal attacks Punk before he can make the cover.  Commercial.  When we come back, the bad guys are getting heat on Punk.  Half assed hot tag to JTG.  Dibiase hits a new version of his move, called the Dream Streak, on JTG for the win at 8:10.  Weak match, with not nearly enough shown on TV.

Stephanie tries to talk Shane out of fighting Orton tonight.  Shane says the fight is happening tonight whether Orton wants it or not.

No Way Out highlight video.

Tonight: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix for the Women’s Championship.

Chris Jericho is in the ring, ripping into Mickey Rourke, then Wrestling Legends in general.  “Rowdy” Roddy Piper comes out.  He puts over Jericho for always speaking his mind and backing it up in the ring.  Now, however, he spends his time blasting legends.  Piper goes on about old times and the life of a legend.  Jericho gets a cheap shot and kicks Piper in the ribs a few times while berating him.

Todd Grisham is backstage with Randy Orton.  Orton says he’ll fight Shane tonight, and he won’t need Dibiase and Rhodes to help him.

Another WrestleMania video, this one highlighting WrestleMania IX.

Jamie Noble is in the ring.  He talks about Chavo Guerrero only lasting nine (WWE for eleven) seconds against Kane at WrestleMania last year.  He said he could last longer, so Kane comes out so we can find out.

Kane vs. Jamie Noble.  Noble tries to fight, but Kane hits the chokeslam for the win at 15 seconds.  Hey, he did last longer than Chavo!

The announcers talking about Shawn Michaels winning his freedom from JBL last night.  JBL (w/ black eye) is on his way to the ring to make an announcement.

Christian returned on ECW last week, and he’s focused on Jack Swagger’s ECW Championship!

Tonight: Randy Orton vs. Shane McMahon in an unsanctioned fight!

JBL comes out.  He doesn’t own Michaels anymore, and doesn’t care.  He’s richer than us.  JBL says he wants to end The Undertaker’s streak at WrestleMania.  Shawn Michaels comes out, and he’s got his HBK strut back.  He blathers for a while, then gets to the point: He should be the one to face Undertaker at WrestleMania.  They agree to face each other next week, with the winner challenging Undertaker at WrestleMania.

Video package recapping the Orton vs. McMahons angle.  Orton and Shane fight TONIGHT!

Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox.  Mysterio was pretty much a one man show last night.  He carried the Raw Chamber match.  Knox beats on Rey and throws him out of the ring.  Commercial.  Back from break, Knox beats on Mysterio.  Rey tries to fight back, but keeps getting shut down.  Mysterio finally manages to escape a bear hug and makes his comeback.  Mysterio hits the 619, but misses the Bombs Away.  Knox catches Mysterio springboarding off the ropes and ties him to the Tree of Woe.  Rey dodges a charging Knox and schoolboys him for the win at 9:43.

Beth, Santino, and Rosa are heading to the ring!

Saturday Night’s Main Event DVD!  BUY IT!  I have it.  I’ll watch it one of these days.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Melina (c) vs. Beth Phoenix (w/ Santino Marella & Rosa Mendez).  Beth attacks Melina with vigor from the opening bell.  Santino has a bit of a new look.  Beth gets a near fall off of a slingshot suplex, then stretches her.  Melina fights back, but takes a vicious backbreaker.  Beth sends Melina out of the ring and distracts the referee while Rosa takes a shot at her.  Mickie James, Candice Michelle, and Kelly Kelly come out and beat up Santino.  Melina gets back in the ring and pins Beth win an inside cradle at 2:51.

Cole and Lawler hype the 2009 Class of the Hall of Fame.  Steve Austin has already been announced.  Joining him in the Hall of Fame are the Funk brothers, Dory and Terry!  They were the only brothers to both be NWA World Heavyweight Champion.  They will be inducted by Dusty Rhodes.  Commercial!

ECW tomorrow night: Christian & Finlay vs. Jack Swagger & Mark Henry.

Stephanie is on the phone urging someone to hurry up and get to the arena.  The call gets dropped.  Damned AT&T.

Next week: JBL vs. Michaels with the winner earning the right to be the next victim of Taker’s streak at WrestleMania.

Shane McMahon and Randy Orton come out and fight.  Shane kills Orton and sets up for the Van Terminator, then Dibiase and Rhodes run in and beat up Shane.  Orton punts Shane.  Stephanie comes out to check on Shane.  Orton RKOs Stephanie.  He looks shocked at what he did.  That explosive diarrhea must have kicked in again.  Triple H runs down and checks on Stephanie as Legacy bails, so I guess they’re finally going to admit that they are married.  Triple H is either mad or retarded.  Fade to black.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/9/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  At least Raw isn’t preempted for that stupid dog show anymore.

Lillian Garcia introduces Ric Flair!  WOOOO!  The 16-time World Champion styles and profiles his way to the ring, looking as ONLY he can look, as Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to the show.   We are LIVE! from Oakland, California!  Actually they just talk about Flair, but we are LIVE from Oakland, and I do feel welcome!  Flair talks about wrestling his retirement match against Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania last year, then Chris Jericho interrupts.  Jericho has the guys in the truck show a video clip of Jericho and Flair hugging during Flair’s farwell the night after WrestleMania 24.  He calls Flair a sellout.  Flair says he’ll never sellout because he’ll never break his retirement by wrestling again.  Jericho says Flair still wants to be in the spotlight.  Flair agrees, saying even though he’s retired from the ring, he’ll never leave the business because he loves the fans.  Jericho says Flair will eventually break his retirement, then tells Flair to leave.  Flair says no.  Jericho harrasses Flair some more until Flair punches him.  Jericho bails and Flair struts.

Tonight: Undertaker vs. Randy Orton.  Last week: Shane McMahon announced that he will face Randy Orton in a No Holds Barred Match at No Way Out.  Shane caned Legacy, then later Legacy jumped Shane backstage.  Orton tried to punt Stephanie, but Shane crawled in front and took it in the ribs.  Stephanie made a deal with Kane to get the Undertaker on Raw to kill Orton.

Tonight: Cena, Mysterio, & Kingston vs. Jericho, Kane, & Knox.

Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall (w/ Santino Marella & Rosa Mendez) vs. WWE Women’s Champion Melina & Kelly Kelly.  Next week, Beth gets her rematch against Melina for the title.  Kelly and Jillian start, then Kelly tags out to Melina.  Beth pulls Melina’s hair from the apron, allowing the heels to get the advantage.  Melina fights back and hits some kicks on Beth.  She pulls Jillian in the ring and slugs her.  Melina hits the ropes and Rosa trips her, leading to Beth hitting the Glam Slam for the win at 2:38.

WrestleMania hype video: WrestleMania III.

JBL and Shawn Michaels chat backstage.  JBL has scheduled Michaels in a match with Mark Henry tonight, to give Michaels a chance to “tune up” for their No Way Out match.

Legacy comes out and stands on the ramp.  Orton says that all this business with him and the McMahons, everyone but him has forgotten that he won the Royal Rumble and has a title shot at WrestleMania.  Orton says he wasn’t going to punt Stephanie last week.  He wants her to be around to see him take out Shane at No Way Out.  He says Undertaker can’t stop him, and neither can Shane.  Orton then sends Orton and Dibiase to the ring for their match with Cryme Tyme, which is NEXT!

Michaels vs. JBL No Way Out hype video.

Priceless vs. Cryme Tyme.  Shad is angry at the beating Priceless gave Cryme Tyme last week, so he takes his anger on Rhodes until Dibiase makes a blind tag and jumps Shad from behind.  Dibiase beats up Shad until both guys tag in their partners.  JTG gets the better of Rhodes and hits his corner facebuster for a near fall.  Dibiase low bridges Shad and provides a distraction, allowing Rhodes to hit his move on JTG for the win at 3:26.  Rhodes’ finish is now called the Cross Rhodes.

Tonight: Michaels vs. Henry and the six-man tag involving the guys in the Elimination Chamber Match at No Way Out.

Video package of Cena shilling razor blades.

Elimination Chamber hype video.

Chris Jericho, Kane, & Mike Knox vs. World Heavyweight Champion John Cena, Rey Mysterio Jr., & Kofi Kingston.  We get five minutes of entrances, then three minutes of commercials.  Watch ECW and see Finlay dance!  The match is joined in progress.  Dammit.  Kane beats up Kofi, but Kofi fights back.  Knox tags in and beats up Kofi.  Cena comes in and takes down Knox.  Cena goes for the F…Attiutude Adjuster, but Kane saves Knox.  Kane tags in briefly to take some shots at Cena, then tags in Jericho.  Jericho counters an Attitude Adjuster attempt into a DDT and tags Kane back in.  Kane beats on Cena and goes for the chokeslam, but Cena hits the Attitude Adjuster out of nowhere.  “Attitude Adjuster” is a lot more letters to type than “F-U.”  Mysterio and Jericho tag in.  I’m currently re-reading Jericho’s book, and there’s a funny story about when he and Mysterio met, with Jericho thinking Mysterio was a child.  Anyway, Jericho doesn’t catch Kofi at all with a mid-air Codebreaker, but gets the pin anyway.

Stephane McMahon talks on the phone.

This week on Smackdown, Jeff Hardy returns to confront Matt!

Last week: JBL and Michaels agreed to a match at No Way Out with a lot on the line!

Shawn Michaels vs. Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas).  JBL comes out to sit with Cole and Lawler as Michaels jumps Henry before the opening bell.  Michaels uses his speed advantage to stay on top of Henry.  Michaels superkicks a chair into Henry’s face to cause a DQ at 59 seconds.  JBL warns Michaels that if he gets DQ’d or counted out at No Way Out, JBL owns him forever.  He tells Michaels to bring his wife to No Way Out.  He makes a remark about having a place for Michaels’ wife in his company to make Michaels angry.

Orton vs. Taker tonight!  Punk vs. Regal NEXT!

Orton/Shane No Way Out hype video.

WWE Slam of the Week: Regal pinned Punk in a mixed tag match last week.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match:
CM Punk (c) vs. William Regal (w/ Layla).  Regal mauls Punk early on, but Punk fires back with strikes.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep early, but Regal fights out with vicious blows.  Regal does the Bryan Danielson elbows to the face and hits an Exploder.  Regal measures Punk for the knee, but Punk kicks him coming in and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the win at 2:50-ish (missed stoping the watch when the bell rang).  As good a three minute match as you’re going to get here, folks.

WrestleMania hype video: WrestleMania XIII.  Undertaker won the WWE Championship at that show, and tonight he’s facing Randy Orton!

Cole and Lawler put over Mickey Rourke winning awards for his role in The Wrestler.  I watched it last week and it’s a great movie.  If you haven’t seen it, get off your ass.  They replay the Jericho/Flair confrontation from earlier, then hype the No Way Out card: Cena vs. Kingston vs. Kane vs. Mysterio vs. Knox vs. Jericho in the Elimination Chamber for the World Heavyweight Title, Edge vs. Triple H vs. Kozlov vs. Undertaker vs. Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy in the Elimination Chamber for the WWE Title, and Shawn Michaels vs. JBL in an “All or Nothing” Match.  There’s also Shane vs. Orton and Finlay vs. Jack Swagger for the ECW Championship, but they didn’t mention that.

ANOTHER replay of the Legacy/McMahons thing from last week.  Orton vs. Undertaker is NEXT!

Randy Orton vs. The Undertaker.  They go about a minute with Undertaker getting the better of it before the first commercial break of the match.  We come back to Orton holding Undertaker in a headlock.  During the break, Orton hit his DDT off the ropes to get the advantage.  Undertaker fights back and hits a backdrop suplex.  Undertaker fights back with punches and hits the snake eyes, a big boot, and a leg drop.  Taker sets up for the chokeslam, but Orton counters and goes for the RKO, but Taker pushes him away.  Taker goes for the Tombstone, but Dibiase and Rhodes run in to cause the DQ at 8:49.  Okay match while it lasted.  Legacy beats down Taker and Orton sets up for the RKO, but Shane McMahon runs down and attacks Orton.  Undertaker chokeslams Rhodes and Dibiase as Orton bails.  Orton sets up Dibiase in the corner with a trash can and hits the Van Terminator.  Shane stares at Orton was we fade to black.

No Way Out this Sunday!

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/2/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, then Cole and Lawler welcome us LIVE to Saint Louis, Missouri!  Tonight: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho!

Lillian Garcia introduces Shane McMahon.  They show the closing angle from last week’s Raw.  He announces that he will be facing Randy Orton in a No Holds Barred Match at No Way Out.  Shane says he’ll do everything he can to make sure Orton is unable to compete at WrestleMania.  “I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD!”  Orton comes out.  Orton says he, Dibiase, and Rhodes didn’t fight back and let Shane beat them up last week.  At No Way Out, he’s going to put Shane in the hospital right next to Vince.  Orton teases getting in the ring, then Legacy to try jump Shane.  Shane pulls out a hidden Singapore cane and smacks them with it.  Commercial.

WWE Intercontinenal Champion CM Punk & Mickie James vs. William Regal & Layla.  Regal gets his rematch against Punk for the title next week.  The men start.  Punk nails some kicks, then the women come in.  Layla attacks, Mickie comes back, then they both go down from a double clothesline.  Men come back in.  Punk his a flurry of strikes.  Regal bails.  James dives off the apron onto Layla.  Regal pulls Punk off the apron to the floor.  Mickie helps Punk beat the count back in the ring, but Regal blasts him with the knee kick for the win at 3:17.  I’m sure they’ll have a great match next week, as long as it’s not a stupid schmoz like the first two matches of this series were.

WrestleMania hype video, emphasizing WrestleMania II.

Tonight, JBL is going to give Shawn Michaels a Employee Performance Appraisal.

Ted Dibiase Jr. & Cody Rhodes vs. Cryme Tyme.  JTG starts with Dibiase and hits a neat facebuster, but Dibiase gets the advantage, then tags out to Rhodes.  JTG takes the heat, then makes the hot tag to Shad.  The ref DQ’s Dibiase and Rhodes at 2:45 for Rhodes being in the ring too long as the illegal man.  Dibiase and Rhodes beat down Shad after the match.

Chris Jericho/Mickey Rourke video package.  Jericho is going to speak in the ring, NEXT!

I went to make a sandwich, then Jericho ripped into Rourke.  Jericho says The Wrestler glorifies washed up has-beens, naming Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, and Ric Flair.  He then focuses his words on Flair.  Jericho wants WWE to take away their status as Hall of Famers.  John Cena appears on the big screen.  Hey says Jericho blasts the legends for living in the past, but Jericho does the same thing.  Cena says he’ll shut Jericho up in their match tonight.

Rey Mysterio and Kofi Kingston are headed to the ring!

Last week: Kofi Kingston upset Kane to qualify for the Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out.

Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston vs. Kane & Mike Knox.  Kofi sends Kane out of the ring at the half minute mark, then we go to commercial.  Kane and Kofi are still going at it when we return.  Kofi tags Mysterio, who goes for the 619, but Kane bails, so Rey hits the Bombs Away off the ring apron.  Knox comes in and goes after Mysterio.  Kofi makes the blind tag.  They double team Knox a bit, then Kofi covers for a two count.  Knox nails Kofi with a big boot for a near fall.  The big guys take turns beating up Kofi.  Kofi tries to make the tag, but Kane gives Rey a big boot, knocking him off the apron.  Kofi gets beaten up some more.  Rey finally makes his way back the apron, but Kane prevents Kofi from tagging out.  Kofi finally manages to make the hot tag.  Mysterio comes in and hits the springboard leg drop on Kane, but Knox breaks the cover.  Kofi sends Knox out and dives onto him, but Knox turns it into a backbreaker.  Rey goes for the 619, but Rey prevents it.  Kane catches Rey coming off the ropes and hits a chokeslam for the victory at 11:41.  Shockingly good match.

Shane and Stephanie McMahon are walking backstage when Shane is jumped by Legacy.  They beat up some security guys too.  Orton teases giving Shane the punt of death, then goes to give it to Stephanie instead, but Shane scrambles up and takes the kick in the gut.  Road agents, including DEAN MALENKO! break it up.  Commercial.

Back from break, the replay the angle from before the break, then Cole and Lawler run down the No Way Out card so far: Orton vs. Shane in a No Holds Barred Match, WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match, and World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match.

WrestleMania hype video, emphasizing WrestleMania X.  Bret and Owen Hart had an awesome match, and there was the Shawn/Razor Ladder Match too.

JBL was watching.  He’s giving Shawn an employee performance review tonight.

Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix (w/ Santino Marella & Rosa Mendez).  Beth hits a swank backdrop driver, then tries to make her submit with a backbreaker type hold.  Candice goes for a crucifix hold, then transitions into a sunset flip for a near fall.  Candice gets another near fall with a springboard kick.  Beth hits the Glam Slam for the win at 2:36.  Beth orders Rosa to ross Candice out of the ring after the match.

Ric Flair will be at Raw next Monday!

JBL comes out.  He’s going to evaluate his employee.  Michaels comes out.  JBL says Michaels has done a poor job.  Michaels says it’s not his fault.  JBL challenges Michaels to a match at No Way Out.  If Michaels wins, he gets the money JBL owes him.  If JBL wins, he owns Michaels for the rest of his life.  Michaels accepts, then JBL reminds him that he still works for him, so Michaels can’t touch him or the deal is off the table.  JBL verbally berates him and pokes him, which is extremely annoying.  He slaps him too.  Michaels looks near tears.  Cena vs. Jericho is next!

ECW tomorrow has Jack Swagger vs. Finlay.

Another replay of the Orton/McMahons angle.  I want Orton to punt Stephanie.

Stephanie McMahon has made a deal with Kane.  Kane is in the Elimination Chamber Match at No Way Out. In return, Kane got The Undertaker to face Randy Orton next week!

Non-Title: Chris Jericho vs. World Heavyweight Champion John Cena.  Cena jumps Jericho before the opening bell.  He’s intent on shutting up Jericho.  Cena kicks Jericho’s ass and hits a backdrop suplex.  Jericho manages to reverse an Irish whip, but then gets his ass kicked more.  Cena clotheslines Jericho out of the ring.  Cena chases him out, but ends up taking a bump into the announce table.  Commercial.  When we come back, Jericho has Cena in a rear chin lock.  Cena powers out and goes for the victory, but Jericho counters into a DDT.  Jericho hits his classic springboard dropkick.  Cena barely beats the count back in the ring.  Jericho beats on Cena some more, but Cena hits a belly-to-belly suplex.  Jericho hits a dropkick and gets a two count.  Cena makes a comeback and goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  They counter each other’s respective submission holds into inside cradles for near falls.  Jericho hits the Lionsault for a near fall.  Cena hits his spinning slam thing and the Five Knuckle Shuffle, then goes for the victory.  Lawler says it’s now called the Attitude Adjuster.  Whatever it’s called, he doesn’t get it.  Jericho goes for the Codebreaker but fails.  Schoolboy gets a two count for Jericho.  Jericho finally manages to lock in the Walls of Jericho.  Cena somehow rolls through it and locks in the STF for the victory at 12:31.  Good match.

Next week: Flair returns to Raw, plus Undertaker vs. Orton.  Cena celebrates his victory as the show goes off the air.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/26/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then a video package of Orton’s attack on Mr. McMahon last week.

Lillian Garcia introduces the winner of the 2009 Royal Rumble, Randy Orton, who comes out with his Legacy cronies and three guys in suits.  Cole and Lawler welcome us LIVE from Cleveland, Ohio!  Orton blames his assault on Vince on a mental disorder.  The voices in his head made him do it!  Orton threatens to sue if he is fired.  He’ll also sue if they take away his WrestleMania title shot.  Orton says Dibiase and Rhodes will also walk if he is fired.  Orton then reads a prepared apology for Vince.

Stephanie McMahon is watching backstage.  She looks angry.  Commercial.

World Tag Team Championship Match: John Morrison & The Miz (c) vs. Cryme Tyme.  JTG takes the heat, then makes the hot tag to Shad.  Morrison goes the Moonlight Drive, but Shad hits his STO.  Miz breaks the cover.  Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive on Shad to retain the titles at 2:56.

No Way Out, with Elimination Chambers, next month!

JBL comes out and announces that tonight, Shawn Michaels will face John Cena, and if Michaels wins, JBL gets a spot in the Elimination Chamber!

Tonight: the world premier of Cena’s movie trailer!

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Kane.  Kane beats up Kofi and sets up for the chokeslam, but Kofi hits a kick.  Kofi goes for the Trouble In Paradise.  Kane goozles him instead.  Kofi counters the chokeslam with a sunset flip for the pin at 2:04.  Kofi gets two PPV main events in a row!

Last week: Orton kicked Vince.  Later tonight: Cena vs. Michaels.

Chris Jericho comes out and introduces a trailer for The Wrestler.  Jericho says that Ric Flair has become friends with the star of the movie, Mickey Rourke.  Last night, Rourke said he’s coming to WrestleMania for Jericho!  Jericho says Rourke has offended him, and that’s a bad thing.

JBL and Michaels chat backstage.  Shawn vs. Cena is NEXT!

WrestleMania hype video emphasizing WrestleMania I.

Non-Title, Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match (for JBL): World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels (w/ JBL).  They slug it out to start.  Commercial.  Dammit.  Back from break, Cena reverses a figure-four leglock.  Cena hits a move for a near fall.  He then utilizes the deadly REAR CHIN LOCK!  They do more stuff.  Cena hits some shoulder tackles and his backdrop suplex thingy.  Cena goes to give Michaels the “You Can’t See Me,” but Michaels grabs his arm and pulls him down into the crossface.  Cena gets out and puts Michaels in the STFU.  Er, STF.  Forgot WWE is kid friendly now.  Cena goes for the victory, but Michaels counters and almost gets a near fall with a sunset flip.  Cena does a body slam, then sells his back.  He heads for the elbow drop, but JBL tells him to do the superkick.  Michaels ignores him and goes up anyway.  JBL gets on the apron.  Cena pushes JBL into Michaels, then goes for the victory and wins at 13:09.  A real disappointment, given the great matches they’ve had in the past.  Hell, they had a really good one like 2 weeks ago.  This one wasn’t.

Replay #7 Billion of the Vince/Orton angle from last week, then they show Orton’s statement from the beginning of the show.  Todd Grisham asks Stephanie McMahon if she is going to do anything about Orton tonight.  Stephanie says she’s going to do it publicly, to Orton’s face.

WWE Rewind: Still photos of Melina/Beth Phoenix at the Royal Rumble.

WWE Women’s Champion Melina & Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall (w/ Santino Marella).  I know I say this every week, but Melina as a babyface just doesn’t work for me.  Santino joins Cole and Lawler for commentary, which justifies this match being on TV.  Nothing interesting happens, then Rosa Mendez runs down and pulls Melina off the apron.  Phoenix hits the Dodon… er, Glam Slam on Kelly for the win at 2:37.

Another WrestleMania hype video, this one emphasizing WrestleMania 21.

Last Week: Rey Mysterio beat Mike Knox by DQ.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio vs. William Regal (w/ Layla).  Rey hits the Bombs Away early.  Regal retaliates by kicking his ass.  Regal keeps cutting off Rey’s comebacks with various nasty shots and throws.  Rey finally hits the 619 and the top rope splash to win at 3:42.  Good little match.

NEXT: Cena’s movie trailer.

Rosa Mendez tells Santino how angry she is that Beth was robbed of the Women’s Title at the Royal Rumble.  Beth steps in and tells Santino they can keep her.

Cena’s movie trailer.  It looks unappealing.

Jericho vs. Punk in an Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match is NEXT!

Non-Title, Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho.  Punk connects with some kicks, then Jericho works him over briefly.  Punk hits his usual moves.  He gets a two count off of the diving lariat.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep, but Jericho counters with a sunset flip for a near fall.  Neat pinfall reversal sequence.  Punk counters the Walls of Jericho.  They do that Jacknife hold -> Bridge out -> backslide spot, then Jericho hits a botched Codebreaker for the win at 3:26.  Everybody just seems off tonight, even guys who usually work very well together (Cena/Michaels, Jericho/Punk).

Replay #7,000,000,001 of Orton punting Vince.  This one in SLOW-MO!

NEXT: Something with Stephanie and Orton.

Stephanie McMahon hits the ring.  She calls out Orton, who comes to the ring with his cronies and legal team.  Stephanie bitches down one of Orton’s lawyers.  Orton says if he’s fired, he’ll file an injunction to stop WrestleMania.  The roster comes out and stands on the stage.  Orton dares Stephanie to fire him so he can cancel WrestleMania and put the roster out of work.  Stephanie says that would be too easy.  She has bigger plans.  Shane McMahon’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring.  He looks that kind of angry where you’re so angry you want to cry.  He jumps on Orton and fights off Dibiase and Rhodes when they try to hold him.  He throws some incredibly weak looking shots at Rhodes as Dibiase tries to help Orton to the back.  Shane follows them up the ramp and jumps Orton again.  The wrestlers try to hold them back.  Shane decks Kofi and someone else and looks for Orton, but he’s escaped!

What a shitty show.

WWE Royal Rumble 2009 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

Opening video package highlights preview Royal Rumbles, then the Orton/McMahon angle from Raw last Monday.  Short version: Orton kicked Vince in the head.  Hard.

Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole say that the McMahon family hasn’t released any info about Mr. McMahon’s condition.  Orton will be reprimanded… later.

Castrol GTX presents the Royal Rumble!  The Road to WrestleMania begins tonight!

Fireworks, then Cole and Lawler welcome us to the Royal Rumble, LIVE from Detroit, Michigan!  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker then take over announcing duties for the opening match.

ECW Championship Match: Jack Swagger (c) vs. Matt Hardy.  That big silver belt still looks ridiculous on anyone not named Mark Henry.  We call the World title the “Big Gold Belt.”  Can we call this one the “Big Ugly Belt?”  Wow, in-ring introductions for the ECW Title match?  They lock up to start, then Matt starts throwing punches.  Swagger responds by initiating some mat wrestling.  As soon as Matt gets away, though, he goes back to brawling.  Swagger works on Hardy’s arm.  Striker says Swagger is the second youngest ECW Champion ever.  Who was the youngest?  I’ll have to look it up later.  My guess is Mikey Whipwreck.  Swagger hits a big belly to belly suplex for a near fall.  Striker is the new Jim Ross as far as random old school references.  Matt hits a moonsault(!) for a near fall.  Swagger throws Matt into the post and hits the Doctor Bomb to retain the title at 10:28.  Fine match, and thier TV match was pretty good too.  Swagger might be the first guy to have his PPV debut be a successful title defense.  Something else for me to research later!  That’s good, I’m going to have a lot of time to kill this evening.  Matt looks very upset.

Earlier tonight: Randy Orton arrived and all the midcarders snubbed him.  Now: a shot of Detroit to segway into Cole and Lawler being back on commentary for the next match.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Beth Phoenix (c) (w/ Santino Marella) vs. Melina.  I still can’t buy Melina as a smiling babyface.  She needs to hurry up and get done with this “I just came back from injury” babyface run and turn into a bitch again.  They do some stuff, and most of it looks sloppy.  Beth hits a running butt in the corner.  Beth puts Melina in a modified half crab-type move, then uses Melina’s foot to kick her in the head!  That’s nifty.  I guess Melina is too flexible for her own good.  Beth gorrila presses Melina.  Melina tries to counter out of it, but just falls.  Melina wins with a sunset flip-style cradle at 5:57 to win the title.  Bad match with one neat spot saving it from being a complete waste of time.

Michaels/JBL video package.  Oh yeah, that Cena character is somewhere in there too, but he’s not what’s important.  Backstage, JBL tells Shawn that if JBL wins the title tonight, Shawn will get all the money he’s owed and a spot in the Royal Rumble.  JBL leaves and Undertaker comes in.  Taker tells Shawn, “Sometimes, it’s hell to get to heaven.”  Okay.

WrestleMania 25, live on PPV April 5th!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs. JBL (w/ Shawn Michaels).  JBL and Shawn come out without the limo.  Ironic, the one time the ramp looks like a street, JBL decides to walk down.  In-ring intros, then the referee gets a cheap thrill by feeling them up.  A minute and a half in, JBL bails to say something to Michaels.  Boring match.  These two have had like 500 matches, and only one of them was good.  Everyone, including me, is just waiting for Michaels to interfere.  10 minutes it, Cena gets JBL in the STF (no U anymore since WWE is kid friendly).  JBL escapes somehow, then hits the Clothesline From Hell for a near fall.  Cena goes for the move with which he goes for the victory, but JBL escapes, then there’s a ref bump.  Both men are down as Shawn gets in the ring.  Shawn superkicks JBL, then superkicks Cena.  Shawn puts JBL in top of Cena and leaves.  Another referee runs down to make the count, but Cena gets a shoulder up at two.  Cena goes for the victory and gets the win at 15:30.

Legends of WrestleMania video game commercial.  It looks cool.

Ross and Tazz take over commentary for the WWE Title match.  Hardy/Edge video package.

WWE Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Edge (w/ Chavo Guerrero).  Jeff enters first, then Vickie Guerrero comes with her awful “Excuse me!” voice and tells Jeff that the match is No DQ.  Edge comes out with Chavo Guerrero as his second.  In-ring intros, the Jeff jumps Edge as soon as the bell rings.  Jeff tries to bring in a chair early, but Edge stops him, so Jeff just beats him up some more.  Edge ends up on the outside and Jeff dives off the apron onto him.  Edge gets back in the ring and Jeff tries to springboard, but Edge knocks him off thanks to a distraction from Chavo.  They do some more stuff, then Edge hugs Jeff on the mat.  Edge tries to bring chairs in the ring, but Jeff spears him off the apron, then hits a suicide dive.  Jeff hits a Twist of Fate on the ring apron.  Jeff pulls a ladder from under the ring and sets Edge up on one of the announce tables.  Jeff climbs up, but Chavo climbs up to stop him.  Chavo gets knocked off, then Jeff dives off the ladder and clotheslines him.  Jeff puts Chavo on the announce table, then dives off the ladder onto him!  That should take care of Chavo!  Back in the ring, Edge exposes the top turnbuckle!  Jeff blocks Edge’s attempt to ram his head into it and hits the Whisper In The Wind for a near fall.  Edge hits (I think) I reverse DDT for a near fall.  Jeff gets a near fall with an inside cradle.  Jeff finally takes the exposed turnbuckle face first.  Edge goes for the spear, but Jeff counters in mid move with the Twist of Fate.  Jeff goes up for the Swanton bomb.  Vickie comes out and tries to prevent it, but Jeff hits it anyway.  Vickie pulls the referee’s leg to stop the count.  Matt Hardy runs down with a chair and tosses Vickie in the ring.  Matt sets up Edge for a one man conchairto from Jeff, then double crosses him and nails his brother with the chair!  SWERVE!  Edge gets the pin and wins his 7th World Title in 3 years.  He’s never won one clean, either.  Anyway, match went about 20 minutes and was pretty good.  Edge and Vickie leave happy, then Matt leaves, then Jeff is helped out by the referees!

No Way Out, live of PPV February 15, with Elimination Chamber matches!

Todd Grisham interviews Randy Orton.  Orton says he doesn’t know what the repercussions of his kick will be, but as far as he knows, he’s still in the Rumble match.  Jericho steps in and says he approves of what Orton did.  Jericho thinks Orton is going to get fired tomorrow.  He wishes him good luck.

Royal Rumble “by the numbers” match video package.  It’s Rumble time!  Justin Roberts runs down the rules of the Rumble.  If we don’t all know how it works by now, we never well.

Royal Rumble Match: #1 is the 2006 Royal Rumble winner, Rey Mysterio!  Ross and Lawler are back together to do commentary for the Rumble.  #2 is John Morrison.  This should be a good opening minute.  They take turns almost being eliminated.  #3 is Carlito.  Carlito spits apple in Morrison’s face.  Carlito hits a nice springboard moonsault on Morrison.  #4 is MVP, who gets a big babyface reaction.  Morrison hits his springboard kick on Carlito, then MVP hits the Drive By on Morrison.  #5 is Great Khali.  Khali destroys everyone.  #6 is Vladimir Kozlov.  He and Khali go right at it.  Kozlov eliminates Khali!  Kozlov dumps MVP as well.  He tries to eliminate Carlito, but Carlito saves himself and eats a Kozlov spinebuster, then Kozlov tosses him anyway.  Kozlov and Mysterio go at it.  #7 is Triple H, the 2002 Royal Rumble winner!!  Triple H goes straight for Kozlov, who he’s been having issues with.  Triple H gives Kozlov the crotch chop, then tosses him.  Morrison goes after Triple H, but gets a knee to the face.  #8 is Randy Orton!  Orton goes for the RKO on Triple H.  Triple H shoves him away and goes for the Pedigree, but eats Morrison’s springboard kick.  Mysterio hits the Bombs Away on Orton, then the 619 on Morrison.  #9 is… Cryme Tyme.  Okay, they’ve got one spot between them so they flip a coin.  JTG wins the coin flip and heads to the ring.  Shad picks up the coin and sees that it was a two headed coin!  #10 is Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ awful new music).  Dibiase almost eliminates JTG and Morrison, but they both hold on and try to kick each other off of their hand holds.  Mysterio almost eliminates Orton.  #11 is Chris Jericho.  Jericho misses a Lionsault on Triple H.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Triple H prevents it, though.  #12 is Mike Knox (w/ beard).  Of course, he goes right after Mysterio first, then clocks JTG and Morrison for good measure.  #13 is The Miz.  The ring starting to fill up.  Ah, I see why.  Orton RKOs three guys, then gets Pedigreed.  Triple H tosses Morrison into Miz and they’re both eliminated.  #14 is Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle).  Mysterio goes over the top, but uses Miz and Morrison as steps to get back in the ring.  Brilliant spot!  Finlay loves to fight, so he’s having a great time tonight.  #15 is Cody Rhodes (w/ awful music).  The three members of Legacy triple team Triple H, then Finlay.  Mysterio springboards off the ropes and Orton catches him in mid-air with the RKO!  #16 is The Undertaker!  Undertaker beats up everybody and tosses JTG.  Taker beats up Cody.  #17 is Goldust.  Goldust nails Dibiase, then smacks his little brother.  Goldust almost eliminates Cody, but Orton gives him the RKO.  At Orton’s direction, Cody eliminates Goldust.  #18 is CM PUNK!  He tries to do his springboard into the ring, but slips on the ropes.  Hey, those ropes are sweaty by this point!  Triple H goes for the Pedigree on Punk, but Punk counters and nails the Go 2 Sleep!  #19 is Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas).  Henry beats on Taker and others. #20 is Shelton Benjamin.  As Punk and Jericho fight on the top rope, Shelton jumps up and hits a double Paydirt!  Triple H almost eliminates Punk.  #21 is William Regal (w/ Layla)  He goes straight for Punk, who beat him for the Intercontinental Title last Monday.  Mysterio low bridges Mark Henry, leading to the World’s Strongest Man being eliminated.  #22 is Kofi Kingston.  Undertaker eliminates Benjamin.  Jericho is trying hard to eliminate Mysterio.  #23 is Kane.  Taker is bleeding.  He and Kane united to chokeslam Dibiase.  Kane chokeslams Kofi as well.  Punk eliminates Regal.  #24 is R-Truth.  #25 is ROB VAN DAM!  He looks out of shape and rusty, but he’s still super crazy over.  RVD goes for the Five Star Frog Splash on R-Truth, but doesn’t hit it as Triple H tries to stop him and RVD has to jump over.  #26 is The Brian Kendrick (w/ Ezekiel Jackson), who eliminates Kingston, but is promptly eliminated himself by Triple H.  #27 is Dolph Ziggler.  He introduces himself to Kane, who tosses him.  #28 is Santino Marella.  He lasts approximately two seconds before being clotheslined over the top rope and eliminated by Kane.  “I WASN’T READY!” he protests.  Santino is awesome.  #29 is winner of the 1988 Royal Rumble, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, to a big pop.  Hacksaw beats up everyone!  #30 is The Big Show!  Show and Undertaker go face to face, but Kane interjects himself and nails Show.  Duggan goes after Show and gets tossed for his trouble.  Duggan shockingly got a nice push in this Rumble and was crazy over.  Show press slams R-Truth out of the ring.  Undertaker tosses Cody, who holds on and saves himself.  Show fails three times to eliminate Punk, but finally nails him with the big punch and Punk falls off the apron to be eliminated.  Knox and Mysterio are eliminated.  Hornswoggle comes in and saves Finlay from getting chokeslammed by Kane.  Kane backdrops Finlay out of the ring to eliminate him.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Kane.  Orton hits his sick DDT on Triple H.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash on Orton, then gets eliminated by Jericho.  Jericho turns around into the Undertaker.  They go at it, then Taker eliminates Jericho.  Legacy eliminates Kane.  We’re down to six.  Triple H fight Shows as Legacy go after Undertaker.  Show chokeslams Triple H.  Undertaker chokeslams Orton, Dibiase, and Rhodes in turn.  Undertaker and Big Show trade punches.  Taker hits the big boot and sends Show out, but Show holds on too!  There’s WAY too much of that in this Rumble.  Orton tries to RKO Taker, but Taker shoves him away.  Undertaker and Show goozle each other on the apron.  Orton RKO’s Show, who falls to floor for the elimination.  Show pulls Taker off the apron to eliminate him.  Taker and Show brawl into the crowd.  Final four: Triple H and Legacy.  Triple H gets triple teamed.  He counters an RKO attempt and goes on the offensive.  He hits the knee facebuster on Cody and the spinebuster on Dibiase.  He Pedigrees Rhodes and tosses Dibiase.  He tosses Cody, but Orton bundles Triple H out from behind to win the Royal Rumble at 58:38.  Orton celebrates his ticket to WrestleMania!

Not the best Rumble PPV by any means, but Edge and Hardy had a good match, and the Rumble itself is always fun.