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TNA Victory Road 2011

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 14, 2011 by Chui

PPV opening video, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Bully Ray comes out for his match.  He calls So Cal Val into the ring to give him a microphone, then bullies her out of the ring because he’s a bully.  He puts over Hogan and Bischoff, then calls out Tommy Dreamer.  Dreamer comes out.  Ray talks shit to him, then informs him that their match is Falls Count Anywhere.  I’m sure Dreamer is shaking in his little space boots.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer.  Dreamer attacks Bully and kicks his ass to start the match.  Ray lands a clothesline.  Dreamer recovers and throws him out of the ring.  They brawl on the floor.  Dreamer has a fan hold a chair and rams Bubba’s head into it, then spits a fan’s water into Bubba’s face, the hits him with a stuffed minion from that Disney movie, Despicable Me.  I think that’s what it is, anyway.  They brawl in the crowd.  They make their way back to ringside and Bubba gains the advantage.  Bubba swings a Singapore cane at So Cal Val just to be a dick, then takes her chair to attack Dreamer with.  That sentence wasn’t grammatically correct.  Anyway, he fails with the chair.  They throw some plunder into the ring and the Innovator of Violence goes to work.  There’s a blowup doll.  Bubba gets knocked down and 69s with it.  Dreamer interrupts the coupling with a big splash for 2.  Dreamer goes up top.  Bubba cracks him with a trash can lid, then hits a superplex.  Bubba gives the blowup doll an elbow drop and throws it out of the ring.  Dreamer counters the Bubba Bomb and hits the DDT for 2.  Dreamer brings in a table and goes for a piledriver.  Bully back body drops him, then clobbers him with a trash can.  Bubba goes for a Rock Bottom or something, gets countered, and lands a big boot for 2.  Bubba canes Dreamer, then calls for a microphone so he can talk shit while he does it.  He yells “This is for you, Devon!” and sets up a powerbomb.  Devon’s music plays.  Terrence and Terrell come out, one of them in a neck brace.  Brother Devon appears behind Bully.  Devon and Dreamer gives Bully the 3D through the table and Dreamer gets the pin in 10:44.  Fun little garbage match.  I have no complaints.  Dreamer, Devon, and sons celebrate.

Tenay and Taz chat about the main event.

Christy Hemme interviews The Beautiful People and Winter.  Velvet and Winter still aren’t getting long, and Angelina is monkey in the middle.  Velvet’s rack is magnificent tonight.  Sorry, couldn’t help it.

Sarita and Rosita come out.  Sarita cuts a promo out how they’ll win the titles.  She rattles off some Spanish that I can for the most part follow, but makes some gender errors.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Angelina Love & Winter (c) vs. Sarita & Rosita.  Winter comes out in a blindfold for some reason.  Love and Rosita lock up.  Rosita is a seriously tiny woman.  Love knocks her down a bunch and she tags out.  Sarita gets schooled briefly and tags back out.  Love gives her a drop toe hold and tags in Winter.  Winter hits a backbreaker for 2.  Sarita tags in.  Winter hits a Northern Lights suplex hold.  Rosita breaks her bridge to save.  Love tags in.  Sarita tags out and tries to electric chair drop Rosita onto Love, but Love moves.  Love hits Rosita with a World’s Weakest Slam for 2.  Winter tags in.  She avoids a dropkick from Sarita.  Rosita eats it instead.  More quick tags with Love and Winter, who I guess are the babyfaces, dominating.  A brief clusterfuck ensues.  Sarita tries to use one of the title belts, but Love stops her and takes out out of the ring.  Hebner follows them out.  Rosita tries to use the belt, but Velvet Sky appears and takes it away.  Winter gets a reverse cradle on Rosita.  Sarita comes in and turns it over.  After several long seconds, Hebner makes it in and counts the pin on the world’s weakest cradle in 4:58.  Rosita and Sarita win the titles.  Love and Winter are mad at Velvet, who did nothing wrong that I can tell.  This was really meh and the finish was shit.

Footage of Jeff and Karen Jarrett on their honeymoon.  With their kids.  At a theme park.  Karen is not pleased.  They go for pizza.

Christy Hemme interviews Matt Morgan.  He cuts a promo on Hernandez.

Morgan/Hernandez hype video.

First Blood Match: Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan.  Morgan rushes and beats up Hernandez.  Morgan knocks Hernandez to the floor and they take turns ramming each others’ heads into the steps.  Back inside, Morgan exposes a turnbuckle.  Hernandez hits a shoulder blood and brings in a stick.  He breaks it in half and chokes Morgan with it, then tries to stab him.  iMPACT! Zone mutants chant “WE WANT BLOOD!”  Hernandez tries to gouge Morgan in various ways.  Morgan catches him with a sidewalk slam.  Hernandez hits another shoulder block and starts to put a beating on Morgan.  Morgan hulks up and makes his comeback.  Morgan brings the stick back in.  Hernandez kicks him low and goes up top.  Morgan throws him off like Hernandez is Ric Flair in every match he’s ever had.  A “fan” jumps in the ring.  The referee and security get him out.  Hernandez tries to use a chain.  Morgan takes it away and punches him.  The referee is out on the floor from the scuffle with the fan.  Hernandez squirts fake blood on Morgan.  The referee comes in, sees the fake blood on Morgan, and calls it in 8:34.  The match wasn’t any good, but that finish was hilarious.  You can see now that Hernandez is bleeding from the head.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fuck finish in a first blood match.  Hilarious.

Christy Hemme interviews Generation Me.  It’s Max’s birthday.  He claims that Jeremy is going to help him with the X Division title for his birthday.  Jeremy doesn’t seem completely cool with this plan.

Jeremy Borash interviews TNA X Division Champion Kazarian, who isn’t sweating his return to Ultimate X.

Earlier today, Cookie screamed at Robbie E. while he was trying to get ice cream.

Ultimate X hype video.

X Factors.

Ultimate X Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Kazarian (c) vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie) vs. Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck.  Cookie immediately tries to hump Kazarian’s leg.  GenMe beat up Robbie and throw him out, then go to work on Kazarian.  Kazarian jumps over them to the cables and goes for the belt.  Jeremy pulls him down.  Max accidentally clotheslines Jeremy.  Kazarian drops Max with a dropkick.  Robbie beats up Kazarian while Cookie screams obnoxiously.  Kazarian is sent outside.  Jeremy attacks Robbie while Max goes for the belt.  Robbie stops them and goes for the belt himself.  Kazarian climbs out and kicks him down, then drops down on h im with a leg drop like an idiot instead of taking the belt when he had the perfect chance.  Jeremy comes back in, kicks Kazarian in the head, and hits the springboard face plant.  Jeremy tries to help Max get to the belt.  Robbie gives Jeremy a neckbreaker.  Max falls down.  Gen Me are sent out.  Kazarian and Robbie go at it.  Kazarian back body drops Max out of the ring and he takes a bump on the steps.  Kazarian hits him with a dive.  Max hits Kazarian with a dropkick.  Jeremy hits Kazarian and Robbie with an Asai moonsault.  Max calls for Jeremy to come back and help him even though he’s all alone and can go for it himself.  Kazarian comes back in instead and beats him up.  Max drops Kazarian and goes for the belt while Jeremy holds Kazarian down.  Kazarian fights him off and pulls Max down.  Gen Me double team Kazarian.  Jeremy blocks Kazarian while Max climbs for the belt.  Kazarian kicks Jeremy down, then pulls Max down and catches him with an Ace Crusher.  Robbie pulls Kazarian’s neck across the top rope and goes for the belt.  Max pulls him down and hits him with a very swank reverse blockbuster/diving Diamond Dust type move.  Kazarian sends Max into the corner steel thing.  Jeremy beats up Kazarian.  Robbie, Jeremy, and Kazarian do the tower of doom spot.  Kazarian revives and gives Robbie the Fade To Black.  Jeremy nails Kazarian with an elbow smash and a spin kick.  Jeremy goes up top.  Kazarian hits him with a enzuigiri and hits the MOTHERFUCKING FLUX CAPACITOR!  Kazarian and Robbie both go for the belt.  Gen Me pull Robbie down and give him a double superkick.  They swing Kazarian back and forth until he falls down.  Jeremy goes up top.  Max bitches at him and pulls him off the top rope.  They argue.  Jeremy allows Max to go up, then goes up himself.  They meet int he middle and fight.  Robbie brings in a ladder, breaking the number one rule of Ultimate X.  Jeremy takes a bump off the cables.  Robbie knocks Max down and tries to set up his ladder.  Kazarian climbs the structure and walks the rope to the middle.  Robbie climbs the ladder and they fight over the belt.  Kazarian wins.  The bell doesn’t ring until Kazarian drops to the mat at 14:22, so I guess you have to take a stupid bump to make it official.  Fun match.  Some crazy spots.  Some really stupid logical flaws.

More of Jeff, Karen, and the kids.  Jeff brings more pizza.  Karen is being bitchy.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  They’re perverts, then they cut a promo on Shannon Moore.

Beer Money/Ink Inc. hype video.

Tag Lines.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Beer Money (c) vs. Ink Inc.  Storm and Neal lock up.  Storm lands a shoulder block.  They each block hip tosses and jump around a bit, then trade arm drags.  Stalemate, applause.  They trade slaps.  Storm hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Neal hits a cross body for 2.  Roode and Moore tag in and lock up.  Roode takes Moore down and they do a bit of chain wrestling.  Moore hits a dropkick for 2.  Roode hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker for 2.  Neal tags in.  Roode avoids the double team and hits a powerslam for 2.  Storm tags in.  Moore cheap shots him.  Neal is like “WTF?” and tags out.  Moore works over Storm.  Neal tags in and keeps the heat going.  Moore comes back in.  Storm avoids him in the corner.  Neal and Roode tag in and brawl.  Roode gets the better of it and runs wild.  Roode hits a spinebuster for 2.  Beer Money do some swank double teaming on Neal.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Moore runs wild on Beer Money.  They kind of botch a moonsault body block.  Moore hits a flipping bulldog on Roode for 2.  Ink Inc. go for their finish, but Roode counters it and drops Neal with a lariat.  Roode and Moore fight on top.  Moore knocks Roode down.  Storm tries to cut him off, but fails.  Moore hits the Halo on Storm.  Roode hits a Rock Bottom on Moore for 2.  Double suplex on Moore.  BEER!  MONEY!  They go for the DWI, but Neal spears Storm.  Neal hits a neckbreaker on Roode.  Moore follows with an Ace Crusher for 2.  Moore gets the chain that his stupid book is on.  Neal tells him “no,” then holds Roode up.  Storm makes the save and hits a Lung Blower on Moore.  Beer Money hit the DWI on Moore and Roode gets the pin in 12:32.  Okay match.  Neal shakes hands with Beer Money.  Moore spits beer in Storms face and runs away.  Ink Inc. argue.

Christy Hemme interviews Matt Hardy and Ric Flair.

AJ Styles vs. Matt Hardy (w/ Ric Flair).  They lock up.  Styles dodges a punch and lands some of his own.  Styles hits a shoulder block, then grabs a front face lock.  They trade hammerlocks.  Styles takes Hardy down with a headlock.  Hardy lands an elbow smash.  Styles does the leap frog, drop down, dropkick.  Hardy tries to suplex Styles in from the apron.  Styles lands on his feet and knocks Hardy out of the ring.  He hits the ropes for a dive, but Flair grabs his foot.  Hardy clotheslines Styles for 2.  Styles low bridges Hardy out of the ring and hits a moonsault off of the apron.  Hardy sends Styles’s shoulder into the apron, then the post.  Hardy tries to whip Styles into the barricade.  Styles slides under, then comes off the barricade with a forearm.  Back inside now.  They counter each other.  Styles takes a whiplash bump into the turnbuckles.  Hardy throws Styles outside and distracts the referee so Flair can get his cheap shots in.  Hebner and Flair get into it.  Hardy throws Styles back in and hits the Albert decapitator for 2.  Hardy locks in a swank standing butterfly lock.  Styles turns it into a cover for 2, then reaches the ropes to escape the hold.  Hardy chokes Styles with his boot.  Hardy hot shots Styles into the top turnbuckle and hits a sleeper drop for 2.  Flair grabs Styles’ balls behind the referee’s back.  Hardy drops some elbows for 2.  Hardy applies a cravat.  Back up, they double clothesline each other, then Styles lands an enzuigiri.  They trade punches.  Styles hits a fireman’s carry into an over the knee backbreaker for 2.  Styles hits a suplex neckbreaker for 2.  Styles goes up top.  Hardy gets up to cut him off, but Styles jumps over him.  Hardy hits the Side Effect for 2.  Hardy comes off the top with a diving elbow to the back of the head.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Hate, but Styles turns it into a backslide for 2.  Hardy hits a discus lariat.  Styles goes for the Style Clash, but Hardy turns into an Alabama Slam for 2.  Styles catches Hardy with an elbow smash and botches the Phenomenon, but turns it into a cover that gets 2 when Hebner finishes being distracted by Flair.  Flair pokes Styles in the eye.  Styles knocks Flair off the apron with a Pele kick.  Hardy hits a DDT and a moonsault press for 2.  Styles counters the Twist of Hate again, but eats an elbow.  Hardy is on top.  Styles knocks him down with the Pele kick.  Styles hits the MOTHERFUCKING SPIRAL TAP FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS to get the pin in 17:37.  Good match.  SPIRAL TAP~!  Styles gives Flair a retaliatory shot to the balls after the match.  Fun times.

More of Jeff and Karen.  Jeff is enjoying himself, but Karen is pissed.  Jeff says he misses Kurt and he’s going to call for a truce on Thursday.  The kids come up and they all get sprayed with water.  Karen throws a fit.

Christy Hemme interviews Ken Anderson.

RVD/Anderson hype video.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Ken Anderson.  They stare at each other.  The mutants start their alternating chant.  They start punching, then counter each other a bunch, then cradle each other for 2.  Stalemate, applause.  There’s been a lot of that in TNA lately.  They trade hammerlocks and headlocks.  Very cool wrestling exchange.  RVD goes for a leap frog and crotches himself on Anderson’s head.  They go back and forth some more.  RVD hits the springboard kick and the Rolling Thunder.  Anderson rolls out of the ring.  RVD hits baseball slide dropkick and a slingshot dive.  RVD goes for the guardrail leg drop, but Anderson moves and RVD leg drops the barricade.  Fucking ouch.  Anderson goes to work on RVD’s leg.  RVD’s leg is so injured that Anderson gets 2 off of a chop block.  RVD holds onto the top rope to avoid the Mic Check.  Anderson avoids the Rolling Thunder.  RVD counters the Lambeau Leap and grabs a headlock.  Anderson turns it into a backdrop suplex.  Anderson hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson hits the Lambeau Leap for 2.  Anderson goes for the Mic Check again.  RVD counters.  Double clothesline spot.  They trade punches.  RVD does a back flip and lands on his feet fine despite the injured leg.  They conk heads.  RVD hits a cross body against the ropes that takes them both out of the ring.  They brawl up the ramp.  Anderson hits the Mic Check on the ramp.  It’s a double count-out in 12:52.  There’s even an alternating chant of “RESTART THE MATCH!” and “NO!”  Fucking iMPACT! Zone mutants.  So… a double count-out.  Lovely.  It was okay match until the schmozz finish.

Pre-taped comments from Jeff Hardy.

Sting/Hardy hype video.

Tale of the Tape.

Introduces and introductions for the World title match.  Eric Bischoff comes out.  He shakes Hardy’s hand, then tries to shake hands with Sting.  Sting, for once, isn’t buying it.  Bischoff makes it a No DQ Match.  Sting decks Bischoff and stomps on him.

No DQ Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Sting (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  Hardy teases throwing his shirt to the crowd for a while.  Sting backs him into the corner.  The referee makes him stand back.  Hardy fucks around about his t-shirt some more.  They lock up.  Sting clubbers Hardy a bit, then hits the Scorpion Death Drop for the pin in 1:28.  Seriously, that was the whole match.  Apparently Hardy showed up “in no condition to perform” tonight.  The No DQ thing never came into play.  I assume the Bischoff shit was just to kill time.

PPV recap video.

This show was heading to a thumbs very slightly up until the double count-out in the semi main and the 1:28 main event.  That knocked it down a few pegs.


TNA iMPACT! 3/10/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2011 by Chui

Recap of last week’s happenings.

“The Return of the Icon”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

The NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting comes to the ring.  He thanks the fans for their support.  He puts over Jeff Hardy.  Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come out and applaud Sting.  Hogan talks for a while.  Sting responds at length.  Ken Anderson comes out.  He talks for a while.  The short of it is, wants a title shot.  Jeff Hardy comes out.  He also wants a title shot.  Rob Van Dam, who I can only assume also wants a title shot, comes out.  What do ya know?  I was right!  Hogan says he’s the one who calls the shots.  Bischoff books Sting vs. Hardy and RVD vs. Anderson for Victory Road and Anderson & Hardy vs. Sting & RVD tonight.

The Beautiful People are in the locker room.  Cookie, Angelina from Jersey Shore, and Sarita come in.  They’re all bitch.  Winter bitches at Angelina for talking shit to the other Angelina.  The heel bitches leave, then Velvet bitches at the other face bitches.  I hate women’s wrestling.

Pope/Joe next.

Samoa Joe (w/ Okato) vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Pope comes out of the crowd and hits Okato with a chain.  Joe chases Pope into the ring, where Pope gets the jump on him.  Joe rallies and beats up Pope.  Pope beats up Joe.  Joe kicks Pope in the face and hits a senton splash.  Joe hits a powerslam for 2.  Pope begs off.  Joe slaps him.  Pope counters the choke and hits a STO for 2.  Pope removes a turnbuckle pad.  The referee sees it and does nothing about it.  Joe hits an Exploder.  Pope grabs his chain .  The referee finally decides to fix the turnbuckle.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster, but Pope KOs him with the chain for the pin in 3:22.  Stupid.

Bully Ray arrives and bullies the camera man, because he’s a bully.  He talks shit about Tommy Dreamer.  He challenges Dreamer to a parking lot fight.

Tonight, horrible women’s match.  Anderson & Hardy vs. Sting & RVD.

TNA Knockouts Championship Madison Rayne and Tara come out for a title match.  They show Rayne beating ODB 2 weeks ago.  Rayne is obnoxious.  She issues another open challenge.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Madison Rayne (c) (w/ Tara) vs. Roxxi.  Crowd is completely dead for Roxxi.  Rayne goes on the attack.  Roxxi makes her comeback.  Nobody mentions how Rayne beat her and forced her out of the company last year.  Roxxi hits a spinebuster for 2.  Roxxi gets a schoolgirl for 2.  Rayne hits her finish for the pin in 1:33.  Well this was pointless.  Rayne continues beating Roxxi after the match.  Mickie James makes the save.

Tommy Dreamer goes to the parking lot and waits for Bully Ray.

Bully Ray is in another part of the parking lot pretending to look for Dreamer.  Brother Devon attacks him instead and beats the hell out of him.  Ray begs off.  Devon whips him with a chain.  Fucking ouch.  Devon goes after Ray with a sledgehammer.  Tommy Dreamer stops him for  using it and leads him away.  Ray cheap shots a security guard who comes to help him, then whips him with the chain, then throws a guardrail on him.  Bully Ray is an awesome heel.

Sarita (w/ Rosita), Cookie, & Angelina vs. TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Angelina Love & Winter & Velvet Sky.  Angelina wants to start with Velvet.  Typical cat fight bullshit.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Robbie E. runs in and holds Velvet.  There’s some kind of weird clusterfuck.  Winter cleans house on the Jersey traps and bites Robbie’s hand.  Velvet schoolgirls Angelina for the pin in a mercifully short 1:53.  Now let’s never speak of this again.  Sky spanks herself.

Next, Matt Hardy vs. Ric Flair vs. AJ Styles in a three-way Street Fight.

Last week, Kurt Angle put football player Bart Scott in the ankle lock.  Video of Angle discussing the incident.  Ken Anderson also comments on it for some reason.

Ken Anderson is in the office with Hogan, Bischoff, and Hardy.  He’s incredulous about having to team with Hardy tonight.

Flair/Styles video package.

Ric Flair, Matt Hardy, and AJ Styles come out for their street fight, but Flair wants to talk.  Flair and Styles banter for a while.  Hardy talks shit to Styles for a while.  Styles slugs Hardy to start the match.  Insta-commercials.

Three-Way Street Fight: Ric Flair vs. Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles.  The bell never rang as far as I could tell.  Styles beats up Hardy while Flair watches from outside.  Hardy gets the advantage and Flair comes in.  Styles drops him with an enzuigiri, then puts him in the figure-four.  Hardy hits the diving leg drop on Styles for 2.  Flair bails.  Hardy throws Styles out.  Flair pokes  him in the eyes.  Styles rams Flair’s head into the post.  Flair bleeds, of course.  Hardy hits styles from behind with a trash can.  Hardy brings in a ladder and hits Hardy with it.  Styles counters Hardy and throws him into the ladder.  Flair attacks Styles.  Styles pounds Flair’s bloody head.  Hardy comes back in and hits the Side Effect for 2.  Hardy misses an elbow drop.  Styles kicks Flair to avoid a chair shot, then rips Flair’s shirt open and chops him.  Styles drops Hardy with the Pele kick, then goes for the Styles Clash on a chair.  Flair hits Styles in the balls.  Hardy gives Styles the Twist of Hate on the chair.  Flair pins Styles in 5:52.  This was a mess.

Sting tries to make amends with RVD.  RVD isn’t buying it.  They’re in a tag match tonight!

House shows!

Generation Me vs. Ink Inc.  TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money come out to do commentary.  Jeremy and Moore do a fast paced exchange.  Jeremy hits the slingshot X Factor.  Max tags himself in and tries to steal the pin, but only gets 2.  Jeremy tags back in and hits a slingshot dropkick for 2.  Max tags himself back in and covers Moore for 2.  What’s up with this shit?  Max clamps on a rear chin lock.  Moore gets a quick cradle for 2.  Moore fights back and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Neal gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Neal hits a cross body on Max for 2.  He face plants Jeremy.  Max superkicks Neal.  Jeremy tags in.  Max tries to launch Jeremy to the top rope, but Neal spears him in midair.  Moore throws out Max.  Ink Inc. hit th eir finish on Jeremy and Neal gets the pin in 4:15.  It was okay.  Moore says Ink Inc. will win the titles at Victory Road.  Storm says Beer Money will kick their asses.

Mr. Anderson is getting ready backstage.  Jeff Hardy comes in and stares at him, then asks if Anderson is going to turn on him tonight.  Anderson replies that he’s an asshole.  That wasn’t the whole thing, but it’s all I heard.

Tonight, Anderson & Hardy vs. Sting & RVD.

Victory Road hype video.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero talks backstage.

Video of the shit that went down with Kurt Angle and Jeff & Karen Jarrett last week.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett talk backstage.  They’re going to Orlando for their honeymoon.  So they’re going where they go every week anyway.

Ultimate X hype video.

Tenay and Taz hype Victory Road.

Sting hype video.

Jeremy Borash interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting.  Ken Anderson jumps Sting from behind and kicks his ass.  He REALLY wants his title shot.

So Cal Val has taken over as ring announcer, and she’s just awful.

Jeff Hardy & Ken Anderson vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting & Rob Van Dam.  Sting doesn’t come out for the match.  Anderson jumps RVD to start the match.  RVD fights back and hits a springboard kick for 2.  Anderson avoids the monkey flip and slaps Hardy in the back of the head, which constitutes a tag.  RVD beats up Hardy.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder for 2.  Hardy goes to tag out, but Anderson drops off the apron.  RVD gets the leg roll cradle on Hardy for 2.  Hardy throws RVD down and slaps Anderson to tag him in.  Anderson gets knocked off the apron.  Hardy hits RVD with the Twist of Hate for 2, as Anderson stops the referee from making the count.  Hardy wasn’t legal anyway.  Anderson gives Hardy the Mic Check.  The lights go out.  Sting appears in the ring and beats up Anderson.  Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop.  RVD hits Anderson with the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 4:27.  Well this was dumb.

Garbage.  That was this show.  That is this company.

TNA iMPACT! 3/3/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2011 by Chui

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.  We are TAPED from Fayetteville, North Carolina.

TNA President Dixie Carter comes out.  She’s very upset.  Apparently she lost the pretend court case.  Immortal: Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, Matt Hardy, Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy come out.  Bischoff gloats.  Flair explains that this is Flair Country and bitches at her for not banging him.  Hulk Hogan comes out to join them.  Joy.  He says he controls 100% of TNA.  He more or less calls Dixie a money mark.  Fortune: AJ Styles, TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money, and TNA X Division Champion Kazarian come out.  Styles cuts a promo, then leads Dixie out of the ring.  Roode cuts a promo on Hogan.  Roode and Flair banter.  Fortune try to hit the ring to brawl, but security, who is actually competent this segment, hold them back.

Immortal are backstage.  They meet some guy who is apparently a professional athlete.  Matt Hardy leads him off for God knows what.  They encounter Styles, Kazarian, and Dixie.  Dixie runs away.  Hardy and the guy get into a scuffle with Styles and Kazarian.  Jeff and Karen Jarrett show up.

Tonight, a wrestling wedding, which we know always goes perfectly as planned.

Eric Bischoff bitches to Hogan about some network guy forcing Jeff Hardy to defend the title tonight against a mystery opponent.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Beer Money (c) vs. Gunner & Murphy.  Gunner and Murphy knock Roode out of the ring and beat on Storm.  Roode gets the tag and runs wild.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Gunner for 2.  Murphy clotheslines Roode.  Gunner accidentally decks Murphy.  Storm superkicks Gunner.  BEER!  MONEY! double suplex on Murphy.  DWI on Gunner.  Roode gets the pin in 3:08.  That didn’t take long.  Ink Inc. come out.  Moore cuts a promo about being in his home state and being a weirdo or whatever weirdo talks about.  Moore challenges them to a title match at Victory Road.  Beer Money accept.

Jeff and Karen are obnoxious backstage.  Eric Young wants to be Jeff’s best man.  Jeff declines.  Young offers to be maid of honor, flower girl, and ring bearer.  Jarrett allows him to be ring bearer, to Karen’s displeasure.

Angelina from Jersey Show is here.  Joy.

Tonight, the wedding!  Jeff Hardy vs. ??? for the World Championship!

Kurt Angle arrives with his kids.

Sarita (w/ Rosita) vs. Velvet Sky (w/ TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champion Angelina Love).  Sky is fired if she loses, so WAR SARITA~!  Sarita shoves Velvet and turns her back for some reason.  Velvet goes on the attack.  Sarita fails a dropkick.  Velvet hits a fancy lucha arm drag.  Some weird shit happens.  Rosita comes in.  Love spears her and kicks her ass.  Hebner ejects Rosita and Love.  Sarita hits a series of week reverse DDT style backbreakers.  Sarita goes for a Tiger Driver, but Velvet counters and hits a DDT for the pin in 2:02.  Ugh.  Love comes back to celebrate.  Robbie E., Cookie, and Angelina come out.  This segment gets more and more atrocious.  Lots of obnoxious females babbling.  Angelina wants a match with JWoww next week.  I pray to JBL that doesn’t happen.  Angelina kicks Velvet in the ass.  Velvet attacks her.  Sarita joins in the brawl.  The Beautiful People get beaten down.  Love wants to have a six-way next week.  Ugh.  There was nothing good about this segment, and nothing it leads to will be less than horrible.

Speaking of horrible, there’s a wrestling wedding and a Jeff Hardy World Title match tonight.

Ken Anderson talks backstage.  He assumes he’s getting the title shot tonight.

Eric Young tells Orlando Jordan he’s the flower girl tonight.  He accuses Jordan of stealing the ring, but it was in his show.  Stupidity.

Jeff Jarrett and Ric Flair chat in the bathroom.

Kurt Angle explains to his son that his taping his hands while getting dressed for a wedding.  I think he plans to punch someone.

Tonight, World Title match!  Wedding is NEXT!

Hulk Hogan is on the phone complaining to the network.

Wedding time.  Eric Young and Orlando Jordan come out looking like idiots.  Jeff Jarrett comes out.  Kurt Angle attacks him in the aisle.  They brawl.  Karen comes out and tries to choke Angle.  She slaps him.  Angle throws her into the wedding cake!  Gotta love wrestling weddings.

Hulk Hogan talks to TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy backstage.  Hardy is fine with defending the title, but justifiably upset about not knowing who his opponent is.

Moments ago, Kurt Angle ruined the wedding.

Jeff and Karen pitch a fit to Bischoff and Flair backstage.  Bischoff assures them that the wedding will happen.  Hogan comes in to complain about the title match situation.  Bischoff tells Flair to “handle this.”

Rob Terry vs. Scott Steiner.  Terry jumps Steiner with solid sounding punches.  Steiner hits an Exploder, then clotheslines Terry out of the ring.  They brawl outside.  Terry rams Steiner’s back into the post.  Back inside, Terry keeps the beating going.  Terry hits a powerslam for 2.  Steiner hits a belly to belly suplex, then a Complete Shot.  Steiner hits a Steiner Line and an elbow drop, then does pushups.  Steiner hits a Samoan Drop off the top rope, then locks in the Steiner Recliner for the submission in 3:19.  This was awful, but it was fun to see the Steiner Recliner again.

Ric Flair and the New York Jets guy come into Kurt Angle’s locker room.  Flair warns that the sport player will kick Angle’s ass if he interferes in the second wedding.  Bart Scott is his name, apparently.

Bellator Featherweight Champion Joe Warren has joined Tenay and Taz on commentary.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan.  Morgan his the discus lariat and puts the boots to Hernandez.  Morgan hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Hernandez bails and tries to leave.  Morgan kicks his ass back to the ring.  Hernandez begs off.  Morgan kicks him in the face.  Hernandez rakes Morgan’s eyes.  Morgan doesn’t go for the shirt toss and does it to Hernandez instead.  Morgan hits the revolving elbows in the corner, then clotheslines Hernandez to the floor.  Hernandez begs off again on the outside, then sends Morgan’s face into the steps.  Repeatedly.  The ref DQs Hernandez in 4:22.  Morgan is bleeding.  Hernandez is pleased.  I am not.

Hogan is on the phone bitching again.  Ken Anderson comes in.  He’s pissed about not getting a title shot.  They bicker for a while.

Tonight, Hardy vs. somebody!  Next, another try at the wedding!

Preview for some new Spike TV show.

Eric Young and Orlando Jordan come out like dorks for the wedding again.  Jeff Jarrett comes out again.  Karen comes out, escorted by Kurt Angle, who has crazy eyes.  Karen still has cake on her face.  The wedding goes on.  They both talk shit about Angle in their vows while Angle just looks on smiling.  They do the rings after Young finds Karen’s in his shoe again.  They make out while Angle looks on creepily.  Angle makes sure they’re done, then pulls out a fucking axe!  He chops up the wedding decorations.  Eric Bischoff sets Bart Scott on Angle.  Scott shoves Angle, then pie faces him.  Angle puts him in the ankle lock.  Hah!

Jeff Hardy talks backstage.

Somebody’s here in a limo!

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Sting.  Sting throws a reluctant Hardy into the ring and goes for the Scorpion Death Lock.  Hardy bails.  He looks scared, but comes back and goes on the attack.  Sting counters a suplex attempt and locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Hardy manages to get a rope break and rolls outside.  He tries to leave again, but Sting attacks his leg in the aisle.  Sting rams Hardy into the barricade at ringside.  Hardy avoids a Stinger Splash and Sting hits the barricade.  Back inside, Hardy goes on the offensive.  Sting hulks up and makes his comeback.  Sting his the Scorpion Death Drop for the pi…NO!  Hardy kicks out.  Hardy avoids another Stinger Splash.  Sting crotches Hardy on a Whisper In The Wind attempt and hits him with a Scorpion Death Drop out of the corner.  Sting hits the third Scorpion Death Drop for the pin in 6:15.  Sting is the World Champion!  He celebrates with Hardy’s fugly belt.

This show wasn’t good.  In fact, at some points it was horrendous, but it was interesting and did a lot to advance storylines.

TNA iMPACT! 2/24/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 6, 2011 by Chui

Recap of recent goings on.

“Hot At Teacher.”  Sounds like a porno title.

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Ken Anderson comes to the ring.  He’s doing a sit down strike until he gets his title rematch.  Rob Van Dam comes out to bitch at Anderson for screwing him over last week.  They brawl.  Al Snow, Pat Kenney, D’Lo Brown, and security geeks come out to break them up.  Immortal come out: Eric Bischoff, Jeff & Karen Jarrett, Matt Hardy, Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy.  Bischoff says instead of getting his rematch tonight, Anderson is going to face RVD.  Jarrett whispers on Bischoff’s ear.  Bischoff likes it and books RVD vs. Anderson vs. Angle for tonight.

Tonight Rob Terry vs. Scott Steiner in a pose down.  Ugh.  Also, Ric Flair vs. AJ Styles.

Scott Steiner talks backstage.  Eric Young poses behind him.  Steiner yells at him to leave.

Video of Jeff & Karen’s wedding planning.  Ugh.

Kurt Angle talks about the aforementioned stupidity.

TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money come out to do commentary on the next match.

Eric Young & Orlando Jordan vs. Gunner & Murphy.  Jordan humps Murphy’s face.  Young schoolboys him for 2.  Gunner tags in.  He and Young run the ropes for about an hour.  Jordan spanks Gunner.  They run the ropes some more.  Gunner shoves Jordan.  Murphy clotheslines Young behind the referee’s back.  Gunner and Murphy get the heat on Young.  Young takes his shorts off to reveal trunks that look like briefs.  More stupid shit happens.  Gunner pins Young after the Demolition Decapitation in 3:25.  This sucked.

The Beautiful People talk backstage.  Angelina doesn’t think Velvet should put her career on the line against Sarita.

Tonight, Flair vs. Styles and Angle vs. Anderson vs. RVD.

Brother Devon comes out.  He apologizes to his sons for letting them get beaten up by Bully Ray.  Ray appears on the Tron.  He talks shit while stomping on someone.  Ray calls this random black guy “one of [Devon’s] kind,” which is pretty racial, then sets him up for a powerbomb through a table.  Tommy Dreamer appears and brawls with Ray into the arena.  Devon gets a chair and Ray runs away.  Devon accidentally decks Dreamer, thinking he’s one of the security geeks.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne and Tara are annoying backstage.  Rayne has issued an open challenge for tonight.  She orders Tara to not interfere.

Tonight, Angle vs. RVD vs. Anderson and Flair vs. Styles.

AJ Styles talks about Ric Flair backstage.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Magnus vs. Crimson.  Magnus talks shit before the match.  Crimson kicks his ass.  Crimson hits an Exploder and a cravat neckbreaker.  Magnus pulls Crimson’s head across the top rope and drops him with a big boot.  Crimson counters Magnus’ TKO and hits a spinning STO thing called the Red Alert for the pin in 1:11.  Crappy squash.

Rob Van Dam talks backstage.

Tonight, the three-way.

Rob Terry is headed our way.

Rob Terry comes out and cuts a promo.  Scott Steiner comes out in a suit and does a typical meandering promo.  Terry attacks Steiner with barbell and chokes him with one of those weight lifting pulley things.  Security geeks come out to break it up, but are afraid of Terry.

Velvet Sky encounters Winter backstage.  Winter mockingly encourages her.  Sky is a bitch in return.

Three-way tonight!  For the love of God, don’t forget about the three-way!  IT’S SO IMPORTANT THEY HAVE TO REMIND IS EVERY 17 SECONDS!

Ric Flair is here!

Jeff and Karen meet with a minister, who is appalled at what douches they are.

Ric Flair comes out and cuts a promo on AJ Styles, calling for Styles to come out and worship him.  Styles comes out.  They bicker.  Styles jumps Flair.  Hernandez runs in and attacks Styles.  Styles sends Hernandez to the floor and goes back to beating on Flair.  Hernandez comes back again and holds Styles for Flair.  Styles breaks free and hits Flair in the falls, then drops Hernandez with the Pele kick.  Styles rips up Flair’s suit.  They brawl at ringside.  Flair bleeds, of course.  Hernandez comes back and attacks Styles yet again, this time dropping him face first across the apron.  Styles rallies again and takes out Hernandez with a dive.  Flair begs off.  Styles pounds on him and rips more of his clothes off.  Styles goes for the Styles Clash.  Hernandez makes the save again.  Flair and Hernandez pound on Styles.  Fortune come out and run off Flair and Hernandez.  Matt Morgan appears and attacks Hernandez.  Fortune pose in the ring.

Ken Anderson talks backstage.

Don’t forget about the three-way!

Video recap of this whole stupid Immortal angle.  Next week, the verdict for the stupid court case.

Madison Rayne comes out to be obnoxious.  Her mystery opponent is the returning ODB!

Non-Title: TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne vs. ODB.  ODB goes on the attack and runs wild.  Rayne bails to avoid a bronco buster, then goes on the attack.  Rayne humps ODB’s face into the mat.  Rayne hits a Lung Blower, then waves at the crowd.  She goes for the hump again, but fails.  ODB makes her comeback and finally gets her bronco buster in.  ODB goes for the TKO, but Madison counters and hits her finish for the pin in 3:41.  Yeah, this wasn’t good.

Velvet Sky goes into Sarita & Rosita’s locker room.  She accepts Sarita’s challenge to put her career on the line next week.  Sarita promises there will be no funny business.  After Velvet leaves, Sarita laughs about how she’s going to cheat.

The super important three-way is next.

Matt Morgan talks about Hernandez.

Jeff Jarrett gets fitted for his tux.

They decide to replay JWoww beating up Cookie months ago while the Beautiful People beat up Robbie E.  Why the fuck did I need to be reminded of this horror?  They’re going to bring in some other tramp from that stupid show to call out the original tramp from that stupid show.

Three-Way Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Ken Anderson vs. Kurt Angle.  RVD and Angle double team Anderson for a while.  Angle spears the post and falls to the floor.  RVD continues beating up Anderson.  Angle returns and clotheslines Anderson.  RVD clotheslines Angle and hits the Rolling Thunder.  Anderson beats up RVD.  Anderson hits a neckbreaker.  Angle makes the save and suplexes Anderson.  Angle and Anderson brawl.  Angle sends Anderson outside.  RVD comes back in.  They lock up and go at it.  Anderson low bridges RVD out of the ring.  RVD drops Anderson with a kick for 2.  Angle trips Anderson and pulls him out of the ring.  They brawl at ringside.  RVD hits them with a dive.  Insta-commercials.  Anderson is out on the floor.  RVD hits Angle with a diving kick and a standing moonsault for 2.  RVD sends Angle out of the ring.  Anderson attacks RVD and hits a backdrop suplex.  Anderson hits a knee drop for 2.  Anderson works RVD’s arm.  RVD kicks Anderson in the head and connects with a springboard kick.  Angle comes back in and runs wild with suplexes aplenty.  Angle Slam to Anderson.  RVD superkicks Angle and goes up top.  Angle springs up and arm drags him down.  RVD goes to the floor.  Angle counters the Mic Check and hits an Exploder.  Angle goes for the ankle lock, but the Wedding March plays.  Jeff and Karen Jarrett come out all dressed up.  Anderson hits Angle with the Mic Check for the pin (9:19 shown).  This was kind of a mess.

Hype for next week’s iMPACT!, which I’m sure will be an overbooked piece of crap.

They play a video obviously hyping the return of Sting, with the dates 3/3/11, which is clearly a rip off the 2/21/11 campaign WWE did to hype Undertaker’s return.

Horrible show.  Thank God it’s over.

TNA iMPACT! 2/17/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2011 by Chui

Recap of recent goings on.  Tonight, Rob Van Dam finally gets Jeff Hardy for the World Title!

“The Boy Is Back In Town”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Eric Bischoff, Matt Hardy, Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy of Immortal come out.  Bischoff introduces the NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy.  Bischoff starts to blather on.  They show a PIP of Ric Flair arriving backstage.  He talks about RVD/Hardy tonight, then bitches about Flair being AWOL recently.  Flair comes out, helped into the ring by So Cal Val, and bitches at Bischoff for telling him what to do because he’s Ric Flair, dammit!  Flair leaves.

Video of Jeff and Karen Jarrett getting massages and being pretentious assholes.  It lasts way too long.  And we’ll probably get 30 of these tonight.  Commercials.

AJ Styles and Matt Hardy brawl backstage.  Gunner and Murphy jump Styles.  The rest of Fortune make the save.  Rob Terry joins in.  Scott Steiner is there too.  Al Snow, Pat Kenney, D’Lo Brown, and geeks try to break it up.

Tenay and Taz talk about Against All Odds.

Hernandez, Sarita, and Rosita make friends backstage.  I understood most of Sarita’s Spanish!

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Doug Williams comes out.  Hernandez jumps him in the aisle and destroys him.

Doug Williams vs. Hernandez (w/ Sarita & Rosita).  Hernandez continues destroying Williams.  Velvet Sky runs out to attack Sarita for talking shit.  Rosita beats up Velvet.  Angelina Love makes the save.  Meanwhile, Hernandez chokes Williams with his shirt.  Hernandez hits the Border Toss which drops Williams RIGHT ON HIS FUCKING HEAD for the pin in 1:59.  What a mess.

Eric Bischoff is on the phone trying to get the network to cancel the Hardy/RVD match tonight.  He fails.  Commercials.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is in the ring with a roast pig with an apple in its mouth.  He talks for a while.  He calls the pig “Sloppy Joe” and claims to be Jesus.  Samoa Joe comes out to put a stop to this stupidity.  Okato appears on the apron and delivers a kick to Pope.  Joe kicks Pope’s ass and hits the Muscle  Buster through the buffet table.  Thank you, Joe!  Joe puts the apple in Pope’s mouth.  Hah!

Tonight, Jeff Hardy defends the World Championship against RVD!  Commercials!

Robbie E. and Cookie are obnoxious.  Kazarian kisses his wife Traci Brooks backstage before heading to the ring.  Kazarian cuts a promo about bringing back the X Division.  He challenges Robbie to send Cookie to the back and have a straight match with him.  Robbie agrees.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Kazarian (c) vs. Robbie E.  Robbie goes on the attack early.  Kazarian fires back and kicks Robbie in the head.  There’s a random horn honking sound.  Kazarian hits a springboard elbow smash for 2.  Kazarian lands a spin kick and goes for the Fade To Black.  Cookie comes back in and hits Kazarian with a giant purse to cause the DQ in 1:47.  Robbie and Cookie attack Kazarian.  Traci Brooks runs in and kicks Cookie’s ass.  Glad that crap is over.

Ric Flair visits with Fortune.  He’s playing both sides of the Immortal/Fortune game, apparently.  He ices all of them.

Styles vs. Hardy NEXT!  Commercials!

Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles.  They brawl.  Styles throws Hardy out of the ring and hits an awesome suicide dive.  Hardy gets the advantage in a ringside brawl.  Back inside, Hardy hits the Side Effect for 2.  Ric Flair comes out.  Hardy grabs a cravat.  Hardy rakes Styles’ eyes.  Styles gets pissed off and kicks Hardy’s ass.  Hardy counters the Styles Clash.  Styles does the drop down, leap frog, dropkick.  Styles goes for the springboard forearm, but Flair turns and trips him.  Hardy hits the Twist of Hate for the pin in 3:23.  Flair and Hardy beat up Styles.  Fortune run off Flair and Hardy.  The match wasn’t much of anything.

Ken Anderson is here and he’s pissed off.  Commercials.

Jeff and Karen are obnoxious in a hot tub.

Ken Anderson comes out and calls out Eric Bischoff.  Bischoff comes out.  Anderson bitches about not getting his championship rematch tonight.  Bischoff blames The Network.  Is Cyrus going to show up?  Because that would probably rule.  Anyway, they argue.  Bischoff makes Anderson the guest referee in the main event tonight, with the logic that he’ll help Hardy win to have another chance at Hardy.  Anderson agrees, then gives Bischoff the Mic Check.

Velvet Sky and Winter bicker backstage.  Winter grabs some scissors.  Angelina comes in and tells Winter to chill.  Hehe… Winter chill…

Tonight, Hardy vs. RVD.  Up next, women’s tag match.  Commercials.

House shows!

AJ Styles rants and raves about Flair backstage.  He wants Flair next week.

The Beautiful People (TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champion Angelina Love & Velvet Sky) vs. Sarita & Rosita.  They brawl in the aisle.  They brawl in the ring.  Velvet beats up Sarita.  Love and Rosita tag in.  BP double team Rosita.  Sarita comes in and Love throws her outside.  Rosita tries to rally.  Love gives her the World’s Weakest Slam.  Sarita tags in.  Love hits a wonky move for 2.  Velvet tags in.  Sarita kicks her in the pussy, wiggles her ass, and tags out.  Sky overcomes a double team.  Rosita hits a jawbreaker.  Sarita tags in.  Sky gives her a shitty hip toss into the ring.  Sky goes for a DDT, but Rosita stops her.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Rosita trips Sky from the outside.  Sarita pins Sky with her feet on the ropes in 3:49.  This was fucking atrocious.  Velvet challenges Sarita to a match with no cheating allowed.  Sarita says Velvet is a joke, which is true, and challenges her to put her career on the line.  Sky agrees.  Please win, Sarita!

Jeff and Karen are obnoxious somewhere else.

Kurt Angle is going to where Karen and Jeff are.

Tonight, RVD vs. Hardy with Anderson as ref.  Commercials.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne and Tara are obnoxious backstage.  She’s issued an open challenge to anyone in the world.

Scott Steiner talks about having a pose off with Rob Terry next week.  Ugh.

Rob Van Dam/Jeff Hardy video package.

Jeff and Karen are obnoxious at dinner.  Kurt Angle shows up.  Jeff and Karen run away.  That was pointless.

Rob Van Dam talks backstage.

The main event is NEXT!  Commercials.

Tenay and Taz talk about what happened at the PPV with Bully Ray, Brother Devon, and Devon’s sons.  Bully Ray comes out to be an asshole.  Taz tells him to STFU and GTFO.  They argue.  Ray slaps Tenay in the back of the head just to be a dick.

Ken Anderson comes out and does his intro.  It’s main event time!

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Rob Van Dam.  Ken Anderson is the guest referee.  They lock up.  RVD goes into karate mode, then into judo mode.  Hardy hides in the ropes.  RVD drops him crotch-first into the ropes and hits the flying kick.  RVD front suplexes Hardy into the guardrail and hits the MOTHERFUCKING GUARDRAIL LEG DROP~!  Commercials.  RVD hits a slingshot leg drop to the apron, then another one back into the ring for 2.  RVD hits a front slam and goes for the split legged moonsault, but Hardy gets his knees up.  Hardy dropkicks Hardy into the post and out of the ring.  Back inside, Hardy hits a front suplex for 2.  Hardy applies a rear chin lock.  RVD avoids the Whisper In The Wind and hits a standing moonsault.  RVD makes his comeback and hits the Rolling Thunder for 2.  RVD hits his swank leg roll cradle for 2, then kicks Hardy in the face.  RVD goes up top.  Hardy pushes him off into the barricade.  Back inside, Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb for the… RVD kicks out!  Hardy and Anderson argue.  RVD hits a chin crusher and spin kick, then the Five Star Frog Splash.  Hardy gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Hardy accidentally bumps into Anderson.  Anderson glares at him.  Hardy kicks RVD in the balls where Anderson can’t see it, then hits the Twist of Hate for the pin in 12:12.  Pretty good match.  Anderson raises Hardy’s hand, then gives him the Mic Check.  RVD and Anderson argue.  Anderson gives RVD the Mic Check too.

Aside from a decent main event, this show was fucking atrocious.  After a run of watchable shows, this was pretty much back to business as usual for iMPACT!

TNA Against All Odds 2011

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2011 by Chui

Very cool opening video, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  They talk about what’s going down tonight and announce that Generation Me couldn’t make it due to travel issues, so they’re out of the Three-Way #1 Contender Match with Robbie E.

Robbie E. and Cookie come out.  Robbie blathers like a retard.  Since Gen Me couldn’t make it, he’s #1 Contender by default.  He wants the referee to count them out and raise his hand in victory.  The referee rings the bell and counts them out.  Robbie wins by forfeit.  He’s going to get his title shot tonight, and apparently doesn’t know it.  Kazarian comes out to inform him.  He calls Cookie a filthy garden gnome, so that’s awesome.  Robbie is upset to be getting a title shot for some reason.  Kazarian attacks Robbie and throws him into the ring.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Kazarian (c) vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie).  Kazarian beats up Robbie.  Yay!  Cookie tries to trip Kazarian, but he stomps her hand.  Kazarian hits a spin kick for 2.  Kazarian kicks Robbie off the apron and goes up top.  Cookie tries to fuck with him.  Kazarian grabs her.  Robbie drops Kazarian and makes him face plant into the steps.  Robbie ramps Kazarian’s arm into the steps for good measure.  Back inside, Kazarian tries to rally and eats a boot.  Robbie hits a diving fist drop for 2.  Cookie chokes Kazarian behind the referee’s back.  Robbie hits a side Russian leg sweep or something similar for 2.  Robbie ground Kazarian with a rear chin lock.  Kazarian avoids Robbie in the corner and hits a springboard dropkick.  Kazarian makes his comeback and hits a rebound leg drop for 2.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver, but Robbie counters and goes for the neckbreaker.  They trade cradles.  Kazarian hits the Axe Guillotine Driver (which apparently he calls the Fade To Black) for the pin in 7:11.  Okay match.

Christy Hemme interviews Scott Steiner and TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  Typical Steiner rambling.  He massages Roode’s shoulders and Roode tries to translate what he said into English.

AJ Styles comes out to join Tenay and Taz for commentary.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Rob Terry, Gunner, & Murphy of Immortal vs. Scott Steiner & TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  Gunner and Murphy finally have wrestling gear.  Steiner and Gunner lock up.  Steiner shoulder blocks him, then chops the shit out of him.  Gunner tries to do something cute and gets overhead suplexed.  Murphy comes in and gets one for himself.  Terry tags in and poses.  Steiner is unimpressed.  Beer Money distracts the referee.  Steiner kicks Terry square in the balls and lands a STEINER LINE~!, then drops an elbow and does some push ups.  Murphy tags and locks up with Steiner.  Storm tags in and beats up Murphy.  Storm hits a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Murphy tags in.  Storm avoids a kick and hits a knee to the face and a neckbreaker for 1.  Gunner tries to through Storm out of the ring.  Storm skins the cat back in and hits a flurry of offense.  Storm lands corner punches.  The heels cut Storm off and work him over.  Storm hits Terry with a Lung Blower.  Gunner tries to cut Storm off again, but Storm kicks him away and makes the hot tag to Roode.  Roode wins wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Terry accidentally hits Murphy.  BEER!  MONEY! double suplex on Terry.  Gunner decks Storm.  Roode hits the spinebuster on Gunner, then Murphy.  Terry tries to chokeslam Roode, but Roode counters and gives him a spinebuster too.  Gunner goes up top.  Roode cuts him and tags in Steiner.  FRANKENSTEINER OFF THE TOP ROPE!  Steiner pins Gunner in 10:12.  Fun match!

Christy Hemme interviews Brother Devon, who has decided that his sons aren’t going to be in the match.

Pope/Joe video package.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe.  Pope has “Pope’s Gonna Kill You” on the back of his trunks.  He bails because he’s a pussy.  Pope finally kicks Joe in the gut and attacks.  Joe goes for the choke.  Pope escapes and bails again.  Pope tries to leave, but Okato (the former Kazuchika Okada) appears and forces Pope back to ringside.  He has a Kato mask on him.  Joe hits an elbow suicida and throws Pope back into the ring.  Pope rallies, hits a suplex, and poses.  Joe no sells and kicks his ass.  Joe hits the face wash in the corner.  Pope pokes Joe in the eyes to regain the initiative and puts a hurting on Joe.  Joe rallies and makes his comeback.  Senton splash gets 2.  Snap powerslam gets 2.  Pope lands a knee to the face and removes a turnbuckle pad.  Joe avoids having his face rammed into the exposed buckle.  Pope gets a reverse cradle, but Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch.  Pope immediately submits in 8:32.  It was okay.  Pope applauds Joe and offers to shake his hand.  Joe refuses.  Pope cheap shots him, drops Okato, and rams Joe’s head into the exposed turnbuckle.  Pope hits the Elijah Express.  Joe is bleeding and pissed off.  Pope runs away.

Christy Hemme interviews Mickie James.

Mickie James/Madison Rayne hype video.

Last Knockout Standing Match for the TNA Knockouts Championship: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Mickie James.  Madison goes for a punch with the loaded glove, which is perfectly legal.  Mickie avoids the shot and beats her up.  They go outside and Madison punches the post.  Mickie hits her head on the steps and makes it up at about 4.  Back inside, they counter each others’ finish.  They fight on the ramp.  Madison clubs Mickie in the back with the loaded glove and goes to work on her back.  Mickie reverses Madison into the post.  Back in the ring, Madison hits her finish.  Mickie recovers and rallies.  They brawl outside.  Madison crawls under the ring.  Mickie follows.  They both come out the other side.  That was utterly pointless.  Mickie accidentally punches the steps.  Mickie kicks her.  Mickie throws Madison back into the ring to break the count, then goes up top.  Madison cuts her off and throws her to the floor.  Mickie makes it up at 9.  Mickie pulls Madison’s arm across the top rope, then hits the diving Thesz press.  Mickie sort of hits the Mick Kick, then takes Madison’s glove and puts it on.  Tara runs in.  Mickie decks her with the loaded glove.  Madison decks Mickie with brass knuckles and goes for the pin.  Idiot.  10 count.  Madison retains in 8:29.  This wasn’t any good.

Jeff Hardy talks backstage, then paints lines on his face.

Matt Morgan comes out and calls out Hernandez.  Hernandez comes out.  Hernandez is the heel now, despite the fact that Morgan is the one who kicked Hernandez’s head into the post last year.  They banter.  Hernandez is turning this into a racial issue.  He kicks Morgan in the balls and gives him an Attitude Adjustment, of all things.  Hernandez also now walks like a retard who thinks he’s a bad ass.

Christy Hemme interviews Matt Hardy, whose nickname is now “Cold Blood.”

Matt Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam.  They lock up.  Hardy powers RVD into the corner.  The ref gets between them.  They trade punches.  RVD’s singlet is really cool looking tonight.  Hardy blocks the monkey flip and sends RVD’s face into the turnbuckle, then drops him with a clothesline.  Hardy pounds on RVD in the corner.  RVD lands a jump kick.  Hardy bails.  RVD goes for an Asai moonsault, but Hardy pulls him down and makes his face plant into the apron.  Hardy tries to suplex RVD into the barricade, but RVD turns it into a front suplex, then hits the MOTHERFUCKING GUARDAIL LEG DROP~!  Back inside, Hardy hits a DDT for 2.  RVD rolls out of the ring.  Hardy sends RVD into the barricade again.  Back inside, Hardy hits an enzui leg drop for 2.  Hardy beats on RVD.  Hardy locks in a rolling butterfly lock.  RVD gets a foot on the rope.  Matt humps RVD.  I don’t know why either.  Hardy hits the bottom rope decapitator for 2.  Hardy applies a full nelson.  RVD fights out.  Hardy hits a sleeper drop for 2.  Stupid alternating chants.  Hardy applies a cravat hold.  He’s breaking out all kinds of new shit tonight.  Hardy drops RVD and goes up top.  RVD catches him midair with a thrust kick.  RVD makes his comeback.  Hardy avoids the Rolling Thunder, but RVD hits a standing moonsault for 2.  RVD kicks Hardy in the face, hits a front slam, and follows with the split-legged moonsault for 2.  Hardy ducks a kick and hits the Side Effect for 2.  RVD counters the Twist of Hate and drops Hardy with a spin kick.  RVD goes up top.  Hardy cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  They fight over it for a while.  Hardy back body drops RVD off the top rope, then goes for a moonsault press.  RVD avoids it and hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 13:20.  Decent match.  The best thing on the show so far, which is kind of sad.

Christy Hemme interviews Bully Ray, who bullies her, then talks shit about Devon’s kids.

Ray/Devon hype video.

Street Fight: Bully Ray vs. Brother Devon.  Ray tries to jump Devon in the aisle with a chain, but Devon kicks his ass all over ringside.  Devon throws Ray into the ring and brings in some plunder.  Devon lights Bully up with a Singapore cane.  Ray begs off, then cheap shots Devon.  Devon canes him in the head.  Awesome.  Devon’s sons come out.  He orders them to the back.  Ray hits Devon in the back with a chair, then spits on his sons again.  Ray beats Devon with weapons and puts his neck in a chair.  The kids attack.  Ray threatens them with the chain.  Devon wakes up and makes his comeback.  Devon hits a back body drop and Bubba audibly says “Oh shit!”  Devon’s son Terrell hits Ray with a trash can.  Terrence and Terrell hold Bubba’s legs open so Devon can hit the Wassup headbutt.  Devon & sons get the table.  Devon sets up the table.  Ray hits him in the balls and handcuffs him to the turnbuckle.  Terrence and Terrell go to help their dad.  Ray cold cocks Terrence.  Terrell kicks Bubba’s ass to a BIG pop.  Bubba clotheslines Terrell to death and pins him in 9:23, which counts for some reason.  Ray spits in Devon’s face and talks shit to him.  He teases hitting Devon with a chair.  Devon calls for useless security.  Ray puts the chair down, then powerbombs Terrence through the table.  Ray leaves.  Devon finally gets cut free so he can check on his kids.  Taz talks in his low, serious voice.  Terrence gets stretchered out while Devon carries Terrell.  Good way to continue the feud.

Jeremy Borash interviews Jeff and Karen Jarrett.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.

Jarrett/Angle hype video.

Jeff Jarrett (w/ Karen Jarrett) vs. Kurt Angle.  They lock up.  Angle pushes Jarrett into the corner.  Referee forces a break.  Angle takes Jarrett down with a side headlock takeover.  Jarrett gets free and grabs a side headlock.  Angle shoves him away, then invites him to reapply the hold.  Jarrett does, and Angle gives him a backdrop suplex.  They go into an awesome chain wrestling sequence.  Angle hits a snap suplex for 2.  Angle pounds on Jarrett and throws him out of the ring.  He invites Karen over to watch him punch Jeff in the face.  Back inside, Angle hits an elbow smash for 2.  Jarrett avoids Angle’s charge in the corner and Angle spears the most, then falls out of the ring.  Jarrett throws Angle’s injured shoulder into the barricade twice, then takes him back inside to work him over.  Jarrett goes up top, but Angle springs up and suplexes him down in classic Angle fashion.  Angle lands some clotheslines and hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Angle goes for a German, but Jarrett switches around.  Angle rolls through and goes for the ankle lock.  Jarrett escapes.  Angle hits the rolling Germans for 2.  Jarrett lands an enzuigiri and goes for the Stroke.  Angle counters into the ankle lock.  Jarrett rolls through, then charges and crotches himself on the ropes.  Angle hits the Angle Slam.  Karen distracts the referee.  Jarrett hits Angle in the balls.  Jarrett hits the Stroke for the pi…NO!  Angle kicks out!  Jarrett goes for the Stroke again.  Angle pushes Jarrett away, bumping the ref in the process.  Jarrett uses a distraction from Karen to Pearl Harbor Angle on the outside and send him repeatedly into the steps.  Back inside, Jarrett tries to use a chair, but Angle takes it away.  The referee wakes up to take the chair from Angle.  Jarrett gets a schoolboy for 2.  Angle hits an Exploder for 2.  Angle goes up top.  Karen distracts him.  Jarrett sort of hits the Stroke off the middle rope for 2.  Angle hits a German suplex and drops the straps.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Jarrett grabs Karen’s hands and pulls her into the ring.  Jarrett taps while the referee is busy with Karen.  Jarrett clocks Angle with a chair behind the referee’s back and gets the pi…NO!  Angle kicked out again!  Angle gets an inside cradle for 2.  Jarrett squashes a sunset flip and gets a relatively clean pin in 16:18.  Hell of a match.  Angle is very dejected.  He takes his boots off and leaves them in the ring, which in amateur wrestling signifies retirement.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson.

Anderson/Hardy hype video.

Tale of the Tape.

Ladder Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Ken Anderson (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  Entrances and intros.  Hebner and Bischoff’s kid are both referees.  That may come into play later.  Borash is a nice dude, but he’s a shitty ring announcer.  They talk.  Hardy spits in Anderson’s face.  Anderson kicks his ass.  Hardy bails and goes after his fugly neon ladder.  They brawl at ringside.  Anderson sends Hardy crashing into the ladder, then drives Hardy into the side of the ring with another ladder.  Back inside, Hardy hits a neckbreaker onto a ladder.  Hardy climbs for his fugly belt, but Anderson stops him and hits a neckbreaker.  Anderson climbs for the belt, but Hardy stops him and kicks him into the corner.  Hardy hits a corner dropkick.  Hardy dropkicks a ladder into Anderson’s balls.  Fucking ow.  Anderson hits a side Russian leg sweep onto the ladder.  Ouch again.  Anderson brings in a second ladder and climbs for the belt.  Hardy climbs up the other side.  They fight at the top of the ladder.  Hardy hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the ladder!  Hardy slams Anderson and goes for his trademark “off the top rope, over the ladder leg drop.”  Anderson avoids it.  Hardy back body drops Anderson onto the ladder in the corner.  Ouch.  Hardy sets a ladder upside down for some reason, then beats on Anderson.  They go outside again.  Hardy tries to hit Anderson with the fugly neon ladder, but Anderson avoids it and sends it into Hardy’s face.  Hardy sends Anderson into the steps, injuring his wrist.  Hardy uses the steps to hit the Whisper In The Wind against the barricade.  Back inside, Hardy tries to front suplex Hardy into the upside down ladder.  Anderson counters, suplexes Hardy sort of at the ladder, and knocks the whole mess over.  Anderson climbs for the belt.  Hardy pulls him off and hits the Twist of Hate.  Hardy has the referee hand him his neon ladder.  He tries to do something to Anderson, but Anderson counters with the Lambea Leap onto the ladder.  Anderson goes for the Kenton Bomb, but Hardy avoids it.  Hardy sets up two ladders side by side and climbs.  Anderson follows.  They fight on top of the ladders.  Anderson goes for the Mic Check, but they both just kind of fall in a big, painful looking mess.  Hardy kicks Anderson out of the ring, climbs the ladder, and takes the belt down to regain the title in 18:16.  Okay if sort of sloppy match.  Match highlights.  Hardy celebrates with his ugly belt and his awful entrance music.

This show was pretty average for the most part, but Angle/Jarrett was really good.

TNA iMPACT! 2/10/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2011 by Chui

Recap of recent goings on.

“Don’t Be Roode”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Immortal come to the ring: Eric Bischoff, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Jeff Jarrett, Karen Jarrett, Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy.  Bischoff blathers for a while.  He talks shit about Fortune.  Jeff Jarrett calls out Fortune, who do indeed come out: AJ Styles, TNA X Division Champion Kazarian, and TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  Jarrett challenges them to get in the ring, so they do.  Jarrett talks about how he gave them all the opportunity to be in TNA in the first place.  Roode tells Jarrett to STFU.  He says they took the opportunity Jarrett gave them and built TNA while they kept bringing in overpaid WWE washouts.  He calls Jarrett “slapnuts.”  A brawl breaks out.  Fortune are outnumbered, but Kurt Angle, Scott Steiner, and Crimson make the save.

Tonight, Angle and Jarrett sign the contract for Against All Odds!  Jeff Jarrett & Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles & Robert Roode!  Ken Anderson defends the World Championship against Matt Morgan!

Winter and Velvet Sky scream at each other backstage.  Angelina Love tells them to chill the fuck out.  She tries to make peace.  It fails.  Commercials.

Eric Bischoff talks to Hernandez backstage.  He’s apparently working for Bischoff now.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Tables Match: Matt Hardy, Bully Ray, & “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Rob Van Dam, Samoa Joe, & Brother Devon.  The faces hit the ring and brawl.  Devon takes Bubba out of the ring.  Joe chases Pope out of the arena.  Hardy and Van Dam go at it in the ring.  Hardy goes up top, but RVD kicks him in the head and knocks him to the floor.  Hardy tries to bring in a chair.  RVD hits a baseball slide dropkick and goes for a slingshot dive.  Hardy catches him with the chair.  Devon and Ray come back in the ring with their brawl.  Ray hits Devon in the balls.  He says he’ll get his own table.  He talks shit to Devon’s kids again.  They jump the the rail and grab Bubba’s feet on the apron.  Devon charges and knocks Ray off the apron through the table for the win in 3:11.  Well, there ya go.  Devon celebrates with his sons.

Tonight, Anderson vs. Morgan for the World title!

Jeff and Karen Jarrett are obnoxious backstage.  Jarrett has snuck some stupid clause into the contract.  Commercials.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett are in the ring with a bunch of security geeks.  Karen babbles about something.  Kurt Angle comes out.  Karen taunts him by talking about their kids.  Jarrett lays out the stupid stipulations.  If Angle wins, he gets custody of his kids.  If Jarrett wins, Angle has to give Karen away at their re-wedding.  Karen is not cool with this, but they sign the contract anyway.

Up next, clusterfuck women’s tag match!  Commercials.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne, Tara, Sarita, & Rosita vs. Mickie James, TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Angelina Love & Winter, & Velvet Sky.  Sarita and Love start.  Love gets a sunset flip for 2.  Love hits a diving cross body for 2.  Rosita cheap shots Love and tags in.  Sarita and Rosita double team Love.  Love catches Rosita on a cross body and slams her.  Velvet tags in.  Winter slaps her head.  They argue.  Sarita hits a backbreaker on Sky.  Rosita hits Sky with a moonsault press for the pin in 2:56 as Winter blocks her partners from making the save.  This was crap.  Everyone leaves.  Mickie challenges Madison to come fight.  Commercials.

Mickie James and Madison Rayne face off in the ring.  Madison screeches for a while.  That’s all.  This was pointless.

Jeff Hardy talks about Mr. Anderson and Matt Morgan.  He’ll face the winner of their match tonight in a Ladder Match at the PPV.

Still to come, Hardy & Jarrett vs. Styles & Roode!  Anderson vs. Morgan is NEXT!  Commercials.

Kurt Angle talks to AJ Styles and Robert Roode backstage.  He wants them to fuck Jeff Jarrett up tonight.  Roode offers to let Angle take his place tonight.  Angle agrees.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Ken Anderson (c) vs. Matt Morgan.  Jeff Hardy comes out and sits on top of a horribly painted ladder to watch.  They lock up.  Morgan shoves Anderson into the corner.  Anderson grabs a side headlock and hits a shoulder block that fails to knock Morgan down.  Morgan grabs a headlock and hits a shoulder block that does knock Anderson down.  Morgan hits a hip toss.  Anderson takes out Morgan’s leg and hits a sliding lariat for 2.  Morgan hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Anderson ducks a short lariat and gets a schoolboy for 1.  Morgan hits a lariat for 2.  Morgan applies a rear chin lock.  They trade punches.  Anderson gets rolling and hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson avoids the Carbon Footprint.  Morgan counters the Lambeau Leap.  Anderson hits a diving lariat for 2.  Morgan charges Anderson, crotches himself on the top rope, and falls out of the ring.  Morgan pulls Anderson’s head across the top rope.  Anderson accidentally bumps the ref.  Hernandez runs in through the crowd and attacks Morgan, ramming his head into the post.  Back inside, Anderson covers for the pin in 5:42.  This was good until the fuck finish.  Hernandez gets in the ring and attacks Anderson.  Hernandez hits a spinebuster.  Hardy delivers the Swanton Bomb to Anderson and poses with his fugly belt.  Commercials.

House shows!

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Bully Ray talks shit about Devon and his kids backstage.  He wants to face all 3 of them in a Street Fight at Against All Odds.

X Division #1 Contender Qualifying Three-Way Match: Brian Kendrick vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie) vs. Suicide.  Robbie jumps the returning Suicide while Kendrick meditates in the corner.  Suicide fights back.  I think it’s Christopher Daniels.  Robbie sends Suicide out of the ring.  Kendrick beats up Robbie.  Suicide comes back in and gets decked by both guys.  Suicide comes back and runs wild.  Kendrick lands some kicks on Suicide.  Suicide hits his finish on Kendrick.  Cookie distracts the ref.  Robbie knocks Suicide out of the ring and pins Kendrick in 2:43.  There ya go.

Double Jeffs vs. Styles & Angle NEXT!  Commercials.

Ink Inc. talk about being weirdos.

Against All Odds hype.

Brother Devon (w/ his kids) talks about Bully Ray.

The main event is NEXT!  Commercials.

Jeff Hardy & Jeff Jarrett (w/ Karen Jarrett) vs. Kurt Angle & AJ Styles.  Styles and Jarrett are to start, but Styles tags in Angle.  Jarrett immediately tags out, so Hardy and Angle start.  Angle gives Hardy a wrestling lesson.  Angle hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Angle sends Hardy into the corner.  Jarrett drops off the apron to avoid being tagged in because he’s a big pussy.  Styles tags in and beats up Hardy.  NOW Jarrett tags in.  He beats up Styles.  Styles grabs an arm lock and tags in Angle.  Jarrett scampers away and tags out.  Hardy and Angle go at it again.  Jarrett trips Angle from the outside.  Hardy hits a clothesline for 2.  Hardy clamps on a rear chin lock.  Angle fights out and eats an elbow smash.  Jarrett tags in now that Angle is down and out.  Jarrett beats on Angle while Karen taunts him.  Angle rallies, ducks an enzuigiri, and goes for the ankle lock.  Hardy saves.  Styles comes in.  The referee gets him out.  Jarrett tags Hardy behind the referee’s back, and of course since this is TNA the referee is perfectly fine with it.  Hardy hits a suplex for 2.  Hardy applies a rear chin lock.  Commercials.  Angle fires back on Hardy.  Hardy drops him with a clothesline.  Hardy goes up top.  Angle springs up and brings him down with an arm drag.  Styles and Jarrett tag in.  Styles runs wild.  Styles lands the Pele kick.  Hardy saves and gives Styles a front suplex.  Angle gives Hardy a German suplex.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam on Jarrett.  Jarrett escapes and bails.  Angle chases him back into the ring.  Jarrett gets the jump and tries to keep him out of the ring.  Karen gets in the way.  Styles hits the springboard flying forearm on Jarrett for the pin in 14:19.  Fun match.  Jarrett kicks Angle in the balls and gives Styles the Stroke.  Stroke to Angle as well.  Hardy gives Styles the Twist of Hate.  Fortune, Steiner, and Crimson hit the ring.  Immortal hit the ring.  Everybody brawls.  Immortal gets the better of it.  Rob Van Dam runs in and kicks heels in the face.  Matt Hardy takes out RVD’s leg.  Jarrett beats up Roode.  Mr. Anderson runs in and cleans house.  Mic Check to Rob Terry.  Fortune and friends stand tall.

Not a great show, but not the worst TNA show ever by any means.