Archive for Consequences Creed

TNA Slammiversary 2009 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling, Cross The Line!  Cool opening music video.  Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to the Palace of Auburn Hills for the 7th Anniversary of TNA!  We’re kicking things off tonight with the X Division Championship!

It’s a King of the Mountain Ladder Match.  If you don’t know what that is, it’s basically a reverse ladder match where you have to hang the belt up to win.  You have to win a fall by pin or submission to eligible to hang the belt, and if you get pinned or submit, you have to spend 2 minutes in the penalty box.  Simple enough, right?  Curtis Granderson from the Detroit Tigers is the special guest belt holder for this match.

King of the Mountain Ladder Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Suicide (c) vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal vs. IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champion Alex Shelley vs. Consequences Creed vs. IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin.  The Motor City Machine Guns and Lethal Consequences all want to unmask Suicide, so it’s 4 on 1 to start.  Being just outside of Detroit, the crowd is very pro-Guns.  Suicide pins Lethal about 2 minutes in after nailing everyone with the ladder, so he’s eligible.  Guns and Creed triple team Suicide while Lethal waits it out in the penalty box.  Suicide either botches a monkey flip or hits a revere lung blower on Shelley for a pin, so Shelley is sent to the penalty box while Lethal is released.  Sabin throws a chair at Suicide.  Lethal hits a Lethal Combination on Suicide onto the chair.  Lethal and Sabin fight over who is going to make the cover.  All 3 guys pile up on Suicide and pin him.  Lethal was on bottom, so he is the one who is eligible.  Guns and Lethal Consequences dance, then the Guns attack them.  Guns show their usual awesome teamwork against Lethal Consequences.  Sabin is knocked to the outside, then Creed gets a pin on Shelley after the TKO.  Suicide is released as Shelley is sent back to the box.  Lethal Consequences double team Suicide.  Sabin comes back in and goes for the Cradle Shock on Suicide, but gets counter and monkey flipped onto a ladder.  Lethal holds Suicide on the outside for Creed to hit a somersault plancha.  Suicide, Lethal, and Creed fight up the aisle.  Sabin runs up the ladder to the box and hits a dive onto all 3 of them.  That was awesome.  Shelley is released and starts climbing the ladder, even though he doesn’t have the belt and isn’t eligible anyway.  Sabin lets Shelley pin him.  Shelley goes up with the belt, but Suicide hits a missile dropkick on the ladder.  Creed whips Suicide face first into the ladder.  Lethal balances on the ladder, which is set up on the turnbuckle.  Suicide front suplexes Creed onto the ladder, which slingshots Lethal into a nasty bump.  Sabin is released from the box and pins Lethal after a sick tornado DDT.  Everyone is eligible to hang the belt now.  Creed hits a move on Lethal, then Shelley hits a move on Creed.  Suicide hits a jumping DDT on Shelley.  Sabin hits the Cradle Shock on Suicide, then tries to hang the belt.  Suicide stops him.  Sabin takes him out and goes for it again, but Lethal makes it back in and backdrops him off the ladder.  Shelley hits a frog splash on Lethal, then superkicks Suicide.  Shelley lays out the ladder between the ring and the barricade.  Creed lands a kick on Shelley to send him out of the ring, then slams Suicide.  Lethal goes up top, but Sabin stops him.  Suicide dropkicks Sabin off the apron and onto the ladder.  Shelley hits a dive onto Suicide that the camera misses.  Lethal hits an elbow onto Sabin, who was still lying across the ladder.  “THIS IS AWESOME” chants.  Shelley and Creed fight on the apron.  Shelley lands a superkick, then the Shiranui on the apron.  Ouch.  Suicide and Shelley trade shots.  Shelley goes for the Shiranui off the cage, but Suicide counters and dropkicks him over the guardrail.  Suicide gets the belt and hangs up the ladder.  Crowd is booing him.  Lethal pushes the ladder over, but Suicide catches the ropes with the Captain Morgan pose and goes to the top of the box.  Shenanigans ensue and the ladder ends up being set up horizontally over the box and Lethal’s back.  Shelley sets up another ladder and goes for it, but Suicide jumps off the horizontal ladder and takes him down with a neckbreaker, then hangs the belt for the win at 23:28.  Really good match.  The lights go out and Suicide disappears.  I wish he’d disappear for good.

Tenay and West run down the rest of the card.

Lauren Brooke says Team 3D haven’t arrived back from Japan yet, then interviews Shane Douglas, followed by a Daniels/Douglas video package.  If Douglas beats Daniels, he gets Daniels’ spot on the roster.  If Douglas loses, he leaves.

“The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. The Daniels formerly known as Christopher.  What the hell happened to Daniels’ first name anyway?  Douglas wrestles in a t-shirt.  Daniels works a headlock.  Douglas bails.  Daniels teases a dive, which Douglas avoids, but Daniels hits the split-legged moonsault.  Douglas works on Daniels’ arm.  Daniels gets a rope break and makes his comeback.  Daniels thinks BME, but Douglas stops him with a kick to the head.  They trade shots.  Douglas goes for the belly to belly, but Daniels drops him with an STO and hits the BME for the win at 8:14.  This wasn’t long enough to be offensive, thankfully.

Jeremy Borash interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Mick Foley.  Foley thinks Jeff Jarrett is going to help him retain the title for some reason.

Love/Tara video package.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Angelina Love (c) (w/ Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) vs. Tara.  Tara is Victoria, for anyone who doesn’t know.  Love shows off a little bit, then Tara kicks her ass.  Love bails.  Tara teases a dive, then dropkicks her into the barricade.  The other Beautiful People attack Tara from behind, then throw her back in the ring.  Love schoolgirls her for a quick 2.  Love gets heat on her for a bit, including more interference from Sky and Rayne at ringside.  Tara makes her comeback and hits a spinning slam thing, then goes outside and slaps the shit out of Sky, then Rayne.  Tara goes back in.  Love catches her with a kick, then Sky sprays hair spray on Tara’s face.  Love hits a Flatliner (called the Lights Out) for the win at 6:53.  Not awful, but nothing special.

Lauren interviews Dr. Stevie Richards, Raven, and Daffney.  Raven cuts his usual insane, yet awesome promo, then hugs Stevie and cries.  Monster’s Ball video package.

Monster’s Ball Match: Raven & Daffney (w/ Dr. Stevie) vs. Abyss & Taylor Wilde.  The faces shine early.  Abyss press slams Daffney out of the ring and onto Raven and Stevie, then Wilde dives out onto all 3 of them.  Abyss and Raven go into the crowd.  Daffney jumps in Abyss’ back, so Wilde sandwiches her head with a trash can lid and a cookie sheet.  They all brawl in the crowd.  Wilde jumps off of some speakers or something and splashes Daffney through a table.  Abyss and Raven make it back to the ring.  Abyss pulls out the bag of tacks.  Stevie comes in and nails Abyss with a chair.  Abyss is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Raven hits the drop toe hold onto the chair, but Abyss gets his hands out to protect himself.  Raven breaks a Singapore cane over Abyss’ head.  Raven chokes Abyss with a cane.  Wilde makes the save with a trash can lid shot.  Daffney nails Wilde with a cookie sheet.  Raven hits Abyss a few times with a trash can, then Abyss kicks it into Raven’s face.  Abyss hits Raven with the cane.  Abyss chokeslams Raven, but they totally miss the trash can.  Stevie distracs the ref.  Abyss goes for Stevie.  Stevie holds Abyss for a trash can shot, but Abyss movies and Stevie gets nailed.  Wilde dives off of Abyss’ shoulders onto Raven.  Abyss covers, but Stevie distracts the ref again.  Abyss pours out the tacks.  Daffney tries to attack him.  Wilde throws Daffney onto the tacks and covers, but Stevie saves.  Abyss sets up a chokeslam on the tacks, but Raven hits Abyss with a chair.  DDT on the chair by Raven, but Abyss kicks out.  Raven goes for the DDT on the tacks, but Abyss counters and hits the Black Hole Slam (on the tacks) for the win at 14:09.  Good plunder match.

Borash interviews Jeff Jarrett.  Jarrett says he doesn’t want to be World Champion, but he has to take the title from Mick Foley to get his company back.

Sting/Morgan video package.

Sting vs. Matt Morgan.  If Morgan wins, he gets to join the Main Event Mafia. Sting is wearing his old red and black outfit, but with the usual white and black face paint.  That’s odd.  Morgan overpowers Sting to start and fishes out some punishment.  Sting fights back.  Tenay says Team 3D have arrived at the arena.  Morgan overpowers Sting again and gets heat on him for a while.  Sting tries to kick Morgan’s legs out from under him.  Sting manages to drop him with a missile dropkick.  Morgan avoids a Stinger Splash and hits the Carbon Footprint for 2.  Morgan goes for the Hellevator, but Sting counters.  I think he was trying for the Scorpion Death Drop, but they ended up just falling.  Sting hits it, but Morgan kicks out at 2!  Sting kicks him down and locks in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Morgan powers out.  Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop from the second rope for the pin at 9:01.  Much better match than I expected.

Bound For Glory is coming to Los Angeles this year!

Lauren interviews AJ Styles and Samoa Joe.  AJ says either he or Joe will win the title tonight and take the company back.  Joe says he’s going to take out Angle… or something.  I kind of spaced out there for a second.

Team 3D/Beer Money video package.  Voice over guy says “Team 3D battles Beer Money for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.”  Of course I’m serious.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: IWGP Tag Team Championship Team 3D (c) vs. Beer Money.  3D have to be jet lagged, as they defended the IWGP Tag Team Championship on a New Japan show the day before.  Storm and Devon start.  Storm gets the better of it at first, then Devon gets some stuff in.  Roode tags in.  They have a little double teaming on Devon, then Bubba tags in against Roode.  Ray connects with a straight kick to Roode’s face.  Who knew he could get his foot up that high?  Roode and Ray go at it hard with a pretty good exchange.  Devon tags in.  Double team on Roode.  Beer Money work over Devon a bit.  Ray gets the lukewarm tag and hits the Bubba Bomb on Roode for 2.  They try to set up the 3D, but Storm prevents it.  Wassup headbutt on Roode.  Devon gets the table.  Wouldn’t they be DQ’d if they used it?  Roode his a spinebuster on Ray for 2.  Tag to Storm.  Double team on Ray.  BEER!  MONEY!  The British Invasion come out.  Williams and Magnus join the commentary team while the big guy just stands there.  Ray makes a comeback and hot tags Devon.  Devon knocks Roode through a loop with a lariat and covers, but Storm saves.  Devon hits a chokeslam of all things on Roode, but Storm saves again.  Inverted 3D for 2.  West does commentary in a British accent.  3D sets up the Doomsday Device on Roode, but he counters out of it.  Storm hits a lung blower on Ray.  Storm hits a Frankensteiner off the top on Devon.  Roode follows with a frog splash, which gets 2.  Ray saves Devon from a double suplex off the top.  They finally get the Doomsday Device on Roode for 2.  Storm accidentally spits beer on Roode’s face.  3D on Roode.  The big guy (Rob Terry?) distracts the referee.  Ray hits a suicide cross body on Magnus and Terry!  Williams gets on the apron.  Devon sends him off through the table.  Beer Money hits the DWI on Devon.  Roode gets the pin at 16:56 to regain the titles.  Good match, everybody was working hard tonight.

Borash interviews Kurt Angle, who is growing out his hair and beard.  He looks odd.  Angle says it’s all about him and Joe tonight, and he’ll walk out as champion again.

King of the Mountain video package.

King of the Mountain Ladder Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Mick Foley (c) vs. TNA Legends Champion AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle.  Long entrances and introductions, including a short video package on each participant.  Angle comes out wearing a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey.  As soon as the intros are over, Joe puts on a Detroit Red Wings jersey and kicks Angle’s ass.  Even though it’s no DQ and the match hasn’t started yet, Joe is DQ’d and forced to start the match in the penalty box, while Angle is immediately eligible to hang the belt.  The bell rings.  Jarrett and Styles beat up Angle while Foley just stands on the ladder outside the ring.  Styles and Jarrett both try to pin Angle, but unsuccessfully.  Foley comes in, tries to slam Jarrett, but just falls over and lets Jarrett pin him.  The referee makes two 2 counts, and finally the 3.  The fuck?  Foley goes into the box as Joe is released.  Jarrett is now eligible to hang the belt.  Joe fights with Jarrett in the ring as Styles and Angle fight outside.  Foley apparently just wanted to rest for 2 minutes, even though he hasn’t done anything all match except for the stupid failed slam spot.  Foley is released and goes after Joe.  Joe locks Foley in the Coquina Clutch and chokes him out as the other 3 fight outside.  Joe is eligible and Foley goes back to the box.  Joe suplexes Angle onto the ladder.  Ouch.  The ladder is set up against the turnbuckle and Joe whips Jarrett into it.  Joe tries to hang the belt.  Foley is released from the box and knocks the ladder over.  Joe falls on the ladder in a very painful looking way.  That ladder is done.  Foley puts the boots to Joe.  Styles comes in and goes after him, but Foley drops him.  Foley whips Joe into the ladder, then charges, but Joe hiptosses Foley onto the ladder.  Jarrett tries to climb the destroyed ladder, thinks better of it, and throws it out of the ring at Angle.  Jarrett brings in another ladder and goes for the win, but Angle comes back in and lands a low blow.  Angle kicks Foley’s ass a bit, then gets his ass kicked by Styles.  Angle goes for a German on Styles, who lands on his feet.  Cool.  Styles goes for a tornado DDT, but Angle counters and suplexes Styles on the ladder.  Jarrett grabs the acoustic equalizer and goes for the el kabong, but Angle kicks him in the gut and locks on the ankle lock.  Jarrett grabs the guitar, gets out of the hold, and nails Angle with the erstwhile instrument.  Jarrett goes for the win.  Foley climbs up and tells Jarrett to give him the belt.  They trade punches, then Styles springboard dropkicks the ladder to send them both crashing down.  Foley and Styles end up on top of the penalty box.  Foley goes for a suplex.  AJ fights him off with headbutts and goes for his own suplex.  Foley blocks it and throws AJ into the ring with an impressive bump.  Joe locks the choke on Jarrett, but Jarrett hits a jawbreaker out of it and hits the Stroke onto the ladder.  Angle hits the Angle Slam on Jarrett and covers.  Kick out, but Foley comes off the box with an elbow drop on Angle!  Foley gets the pin, so no everybody by AJ is eligible.  Foley goes to hang the belt, but AJ comes in and hits him in the back with the Legends belt.  AJ kicks Foley off the ladder.  Styles and Joe double team Foley.  AJ lands the Pele kick that sends Foley to the outside, then Joe elevates Styles out of the ring to take out Foley in an impressive suicide dive.  Styles gets a pin on Foley that the camera misses, so now everyone is eligible.  Jarrett hits Joe with the ladder.  Angle is released from the box as Foley is sent in.  Jarrett goes to hang the belt, but AJ climbs up to stop him.  Angle tries to pull Jarrett down.  They drop the belt.  Jarrett dives at Angle, but Angle drives him to the mat.  Joe and Styles fight.  Joe drops him with the big kick.  Foley is released and goes after Styles.  Foley nails him with the belt, then Joe lands his kick on Foley.  Joe goes up the ladder with the belt.  AJ grabs his boot and pulls him down and ends up with the belt around his neck.  Styles tries to climb the ladder, but Joe pulls him down.  Styles whips Joe, who dives through the ropes onto Jarrett and Foley.  Angle comes in and goes for the Angle Slam on Styles, but Styles counters into the Styles Clash.  AJ looks to have it won, but Joe comes in and powerbombs him off the ladder.  Joe goes up with the belt.  Angle climbs up the other side.  Joe hands Angle the belt!  Angle hangs the belt for the win at 22:04.  Joe and Angle hug.  Booker T, Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, and Sharmell appear on stage to applaud Angle.  Has Joe joined the Main Event Mafia?  Oh, and I thought the match turned out pretty good too.

Pretty good show all together, one of TNA’s better PPV offerings of late.

TNA Destination X 2009 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

If the reviews are to be believed, I’m going to regret watching this show.

The show starts with a black and white video showing how horrible the economy is right now.  It switches to color to hype the main event and Ultimate X.

Mike Tenay welcome us LIVE to Orlando.  Where’s Don West?  Ah, there he is.

The Beautiful People (Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, & Madison Rayne) vs. Taylor Wilde, Roxxi, & The Governor.  Geeze, they’re still doing this phony Sarah Palin gimmick?  They try, but the match sucks.  Roxxi moves so awkwardly in the ring.  She takes the heat for a bit and makes the hot tag to Wilde, who cleans house.  The Governor hits a shitty looking dive out of the ring onto Love and Sky.  Wilde hits a German suplex on Rayne for the win at 5:04.  Bleh.

Generic blonde interviews Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley.  Jarrett is going to be the referee in the main event and Foley is going to be the enforcer.  For some reason, BRUTUS MAGNUS flashes on the screen in the middle of the interview.

Brutus Magnus then comes to the ring.  What the fuck is this shit?  He issues an open challenge.  David Penzer introduces a sailor (Jesse Neal) to be the ring announcer.  He introduces Magnus’ opponent, Eric Young.

Brutus Magnus vs. Eric Young.  Magnus looks more like a guy who should jobbing to lower midcarders on ECW.  He nails some shots, then Young fights back.  Young bounces off the ropes and Magnus botches the catch and hits a half assed powerslam or something for a near fall.  He hits a high knee and a leg drop for a near fall, then hits a powerbomb.  He goes for a splash, but Young moves.  Young hits a DVD for a near fall.  Young flips over one of the posts and goes to the other one.  Magnus tries to meet him but gets thrown down and elbow dropped.  Bridge into backslide spot gets a near fall for Young.  So forth and so on.  Magnus hits sort of a TKO off the turnbuckle for the win at 4:46.  What’s it called?  Tormentum?

Tenay and West run down the card.  Two matches in.  Why?

Sheik Abdul Bashir comes out.  He complains that he hasn’t been on a PPV all year.  He whines for a bit, then Jim Cornette comes out.  He tells Bashir he’s not on the PPV because nobody likes him.  He calls the sailor back into the ring.  The sailor sings horribly and Bashir leaves.  Complete waste of PPV time.

Jeremy Borash is in the Main Event Mafia’s locker room.  Angle complains that Foley, Jarrett, and Sting are all against him.  Booker says he has AJ Styles to deal with tonight and leaves.  Steiner says he has Samoa Joe to deal with, so Sting is Angle’s problem.  Nash tells Angle to relax.  He tells Angle the whole thing is his fault.  The audio keeps going from quiet to loud at random.

Abyss/Morgan video package.

Match of 10,000 Tacks:
Mat Morgan vs. Abyss.  During Morgan’s entrance, the newly heel Don West defends Sheik Abdul Bashir.  Because he’s a heel now.  Does anyone care?  Morgan jumps Abyss to start.  Abyss fights back but gets clotheslined to the floor.  Abyss grabs Morgan’s legs and pulls his nuts into the post.  He sets up two trays of tacks just off the stage.  Way to give away the finish.  Morgan whips Abyss into the guardrail and takes him back into the ring to beat him up.  Morgan climbs a pole (of course) and pulls down a bag of tacks.  He pours them into a small, neat pile and tries to push Abyss’ face into them.  Abyss fights back and goes for a chokeslam, but Morgan fights out.  Abyss hits a clothesline, then punishes Morgan in the corner.  Abyss climbs up another pole and retrieves another bag of tacks.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint and goes outside to get a chair.  He ends up being the one to take the bump into the chair.  He pours the other bag of tacks onto the previous pile.  Morgan counters a powerbomb attempt, but gets Black Hole Slammed.  Abyss pours a bag of broken glass on top of the pile of tacks.  Morgan bails and heads up the ramp.  Abyss gives chase and they fight on the stage.  Abyss goes for a chokeslam again, but Morgan kicks him in the balls.  Morgan lands the Carbon Footprint and sends Abyss off of the stage into the trays of tacks we talked about earlier for the win at 8:49.  Retarded match.

Booker T tells Cornette he didn’t agree to put the Legends title on the line tonight.  Cornette shows him the contract.  Sharmell tries to find a loophole, but Cornette isn’t buying it.

There’s some kind of stupid thing with guys trying to win a date with ODB.  I wanted to fast forward, but my wife won’t let me.  ODB comes out in a dress.  The finalists are Cody Deaner: a hillbilly with a mullet, Shark Boy, and Bernie Weber: an old Mexican in a suit.  TNA actually wants people to pay money for this shit?  They all say why they should win, then they dance.  Mullet wins.  TNA actually wants people to pay money for this shit?  This has to be the worst PPV segment since the Gobbledy Gooker.

Generic blonde interviews Beer Money, who are very rude to her.  The audio goes screwy again.  Tonight they face Team 3D, and apparently if 3D loses, they have to leave.

Awesome Kong/Sojourner Bolt video package.  They were friends, and now they’re enemies.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Awesome Kong (c) (w/ Raisha Saeed) vs. Sojourner Bolt.  Bolt botches some shit and gets clotheslined.  Kong proceeds to demolish Bolt.  Bolt tries to fight back, but is cut off every time.  Kong misses a diving splash.  Bolt rolls her up with a la magistral but fails to get the pin.  Same with a jackknife hold.  Bolt hits the ropes and Saeed grabs her leg.  Bolt kicks her away and low bridges a charging Kong.  Bolt goes for a Dragonrana, but Kong Awesome Bombs her to end this abortion at 4:18.

Tenay and West hype what’s still to come.

Joe/Steiner video package.

Scott Steiner vs. Samoa Joe.  Joe has a new look with retarded facepaint and looks like he’s approaching being as fat as I am.  Did he not hit the gym at all during the months he was off TV?  Joe destroys Steiner, then attacks some refs to get DQ’d at 1:29.  He beats up Steiner through the crowd and out of the arena.  Geeze, this show is bad.

Generic blonde interviews AJ Styles.

Booker/Styles video package.  Styles stole Booker’s belt and Booker called the cops.

TNA Legends Championship Match: Booker T (c) (w/ Sharmell) vs. AJ Styles.  They lock up.  AJ shoves Booker.  Hammerlock exchange sequence, then they trade chops.  Usual AJ greatness.  Booker bails and AJ hits his flying forearm off the apron.  Back inside, AJ covers for a two count.  Backbreaker for another two count.  Booker gets the advantage and goes to work on AJ.  Harlem side kick gets two.  Booker works AJ’s arm.  Don West explains how important it is to have feeling in your arms.  AJ fights back and hits a hammerlock backdrop for a near fall.  That was kinda nifty.  Booker hits his swank rollup out of the corner for the first time in ages for a near fall, then blasts AJ with a kick for another.  AJ gets a nice German suplex hold for a near fall.  AJ springboards off the ropes and they botch something.  Booker manages to spin up and goes for the scissors kick, but AJ moves and hits the Pele.  AJ follows with the Styles Clash for the victory at 9:15.  Best match on the show so far, and that’s sad.  AJ celebrates with the belt.

Cut to the parking lot.  Apparently, Samoa Joe has murdered Scott Steiner with a sword.  He tells a frightened generic blonde to tell he’s going to kill the rest of the Main Event Mafia.  Or something.

Beer Money/Team 3D video package.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match (Off The Wagon Challenge): Beer Money (c) vs. IWGP Tag Team Champions Team 3D.  Team 3D proudly display their IWGP gold and Bubba is wearing a New Japan ring jacket.  Awesome!  Beer Money have been doing a “get a title shot but if we pin you you’re fired” gimmick recently, and that’s what this is.  Devon beats up Roode a bit.  Bubba tags in and promptly gets taken down.  Storm tags in and acts retarded.  Storm and Bubba do the silly test of strength dance.  Devon tags in and 3D double team storm.  Roode prevents his partner from taking the WASSUP headbutt.  Match goes on.  It’s not awful, but not particularly exciting.  They do the Brokeback Mountain spot.  Bubba hits a Rock Bottom of all things on Roode, then the flip, flop, & fly on Storm.  Storm prevents Devon from making it back in the ring and Beer Money doubleteams Bubba.  Storm hits an avalanche-style Frankensteiner and Roode follows with a frog splash.  I’m serious.  Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb for a near fall.  Don West: How many people have we ever seen kick out of that?  Me: Everyone.  Devon makes it back in and they give Roode the reverse 3D for a near fall.  Storm comes in and uses a chair to cause the DQ at 9:57.  Cornette comes out and restarts the match as a No DQ match.  Devon comes from behind and gives them the double noggin knocker.  Storm takes the 3D.  Roode pulls the referee out of the ring.  He grabs Storm and leaves.  West hands Beer Money the belts and they leave.  Crowd chants BULLSHIT.  3D wins by count-out at 12:04.  Bubba complains to the announcers.

We get comments from the Ultimate X participants, then a video package.  I love Shelley openly saying he’s going to cheat any way he can.

Ultimate X Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Alex Shelley (c) vs. Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide.  Guns immediately jump Suicide as Lethal and Creed go to climb the structure.  Guns use teamwork to deal with everybody else.  Suicide comes back in and deals with them, then goes at it with Lethal.  “FALLEN ANGEL” chants.  Shelley and Lethal go at it.  Sabin goes for the belt, but Creed pulls him down.  It’s basically two guys fight, one gets knocked down, and another comes in to go at it with the other.  Sabin his a suicide (no pun intended) dive 4 1/2 minutes it.  Suicide goes for one as well, but Shelley nails him with a kick.  Creed goes for the climb, but Suicide gets him a fireman’s carry and does the Finlay roll onto the other guys outside.  Suicide climbs the cables, but Lethal knocks him down with a missile dropkick.  Lethal Consequences fight with the Guns.  Lethal gives Creed a boost up to the belt.  Sabin uses Shelley as a springboard and takes Creed down.  Tower of Doom spot in the corner, but Suicide holds on to the cables and goes for the prize.  Lethal persues and powerbombs him down.  Everybody hits a bunch of stuff.  Guns hit the Made In Detroit on Creed.  Creed hits the TKO off the second rope on Shelley.  Creed, Lethal, and Sabin all go for the belt.  They fight on the cables.  Suicide pounces and sends them all crashing, then grabs the belt and falls down for the win at 14:11.  Not as good as some other Ultimate X matches, but pretty awesome and 7,000 times better than anything else on this show.

Borash interviews Sting.

Sting/Angle video package.

Jarrett makes his entrance.  Why does a referee need a guitar?  Foley’s TNA music is awful.  Overly long entrances and videos to give it a big match feel.  It fails.  Boxing style intros, and we finally have…

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sting (c) vs. Kurt Angle (Jeff Jarrett is the referee and Mick Foley is the enforcer).  Angle punches Sting.  Sting kicks Angle.  Angle kicks Sting.  Sting elbows Angle and clotheslines him out of the ring.  They brawl some more.  Angle takes a sweet bump on a backdrop out of the ring, lands on his feet but manages to hit his head on the guardrail.  They brawl into the crowd for about a second, then go back to the ring.  Angle suplexes Sting and gets a two count.  Jarrett’s count was fair, but Angle still glares at him).  Angle tries to catch a charging Sting for a belly-to-belly, but Sting just kind of crashes into him and they stumble.  Angle wears down Sting with a sleeper on the mat.  Sting fights out and they crossbody each other.  Sting hits a bunch of clotheslines and the Stinger Splash.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Sting armdrags him out of it and hits a powerbomb of all things for a near fall.  Angle goes for the ankle lock, but Sting kicks him away.  Angle hits the rolling Germans.  Angle hits a moonsault for a near fall and I wasn’t paying attention.  Dammit.  Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop for a near fall.  Sting ducks a clothesline and Angle clotheslines Jarrett.  Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Foley checks on Jarrett.  Angle taps, but nobody is paying attention.  Angle hits the Angle Slam.  Foley counts two.  Angle low blows him.  Angle tries to use a chair on Sting, but Foley takes it away from him.  Foley swings for Angle but Angle ducks and Sting takes the chair shot.  Angle half ass Angle Slams fat Foley.  He covers Sting and Jarrett counts two.  Angle spits at Jarrett and punches him.  Jarrett punches him back and Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop for the pin at 13:51.  Angle is pissed at Jarrett, but he brought it on himself.  Sting holds up the gold as we fade to black.

The show wasn’t as horrible as Alvarez made it out to be.  Yes, the undercard WAS bad, but Booker and AJ had an okay match (only one botch stands out) and the Ultimate X was good.  The main event was a lot better than I expected.  Alvarez bitched about the heel being screwed by three guys, but if you look at the content it’s clear he did it to himself.  It wasn’t a good match, but it wasn’t awful.  Everything but the three matches I mentioned was completely worthless and had no redeeming quality.

TNA No Surrender 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  Okay PPV intro video.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to Oshawa, Ontario!  This is TNA’s first PPV outside of the United States.

Sting kicks off the show.  Huh?  Oh, he’s just out to cut a promo.  Sting says he will challenge the winner of tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship at Bound For Glory next month.  He talks about the younger guys not respecting the business or nothing, makes a Bret Hart reference, and warns AJ Styles and Samoa Joe that it’s Show time.

Earlier today: Christian Cage arrived at work.

Tenay and West inform us that due to Hurricane Ike, Booker T wasn’t able to make it to the show.  He was supposed to be in the Four-Way World Title match tonight.  They run down the card for the evening.  Finally time for the opener.

The Rock N Rave Infection (Lance Rock, Jimmy Rave, & Christy Hemme) vs. The Prince Justice Brotherhood (Curry Man, Super Eric, & Shark Boy).  Rave and Eric start.  Eric sends Rave out and hits the first suicide dive of the night, then throws him back in and hits a missile dropkick for a two count.  Rock and Shark Boy tag in.  Rock statys in briefly before tagging back out to Rave.  Sharky kicks his ass and tags in Curry Man.  Curry forces Rave to tag in Christy.  Funny exchange, wnen Shark and Rave come back in.  Sharky gets backdropped out of the ring, then Rock whips him into the guardrail.  Rock N Rave beat up Shark Boy until Sharky tags in Curry Man.  Curry kisses Hemme.  She likes it.  He tries pin her with a reverse cradle, but Rock breaks it.  Rock takes down Curry and Christy hits her stupid split leg drop for a near fall.  Shark hits the Chummer (Stunner) on Hemme, but Rock nails him.  Eric hits a double DVD on Rock and Rave.  Curry pins Hemme for the victory at 7:49.  Fun comedy match.

Awesome Kong/ODB video package.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) vs. ODB.  Saeed jumps ODB in the aisle because ODB ripped her veil off recently on iMPACT!  Kong takes ODB to the ring and beats her up, but misses a splash, which allows ODB to go on the offensive.  ODB brings in a table and sets it up in the corner.  Kong reverses the Irish whip attempt and clotheslines ODB.  They go outside and fight into the crowd.  Kong gets a near fall on the ramp, then tries to sandwich ODB against the ring post.  ODB moves and Kong lariats the post.  ODB hits a Thesz press for a near fall I think.  Back in the ring, ODB sends Kong into a chair set up in the corner and schoolgirls her for a near fall.  ODB sets up the table and tries to slam Kong.  Kong goes for the Awesome Bomb, but ODB fights out of it.  Kong stands on the middle rope and tells Saeed to bring her a chair.  ODB powerbombs Kong onto the table, which doesn’t break through.  Ouch.  Saeed pulls ODB out of the ring, but gets sent into the guardrail.  ODB gets a near fall on Kong with an inside cradle.  Kong sandwiches ODB in the corner and nails her with a backfist.  Saeed gives Kong another table, which is set up in the corner.  ODB takes a drink from her flask and sprays it in Kong’s face, but Kong still manages to give her a spinebuster through the table for the win at 10:24.  It wasn’t awful.

Generic blonde interviews Christian Cage.  He talks about wanting to be a wrestler growing up just one hour from where the PPV is tonight.  He says he’s going to win the title in front of his family and friends tonight.

Abyss & Morgan/Team 3D video package.

Team 3D vs. Abyss & Matt Morgan.  Abyss and Brother Ray start.  The storyline here is Abyss spend time in a nuthouse to curb his violent tendencies (using weapons and stuff).  Ray hits a Rock Bottom, then tags in Devon, who hammers Abyss with punches.  Abyss clotheslines him and tags in Morgan.  Team 3D tries to leave, but Abyss and Morgan case them down and they fight in the aisle and back to the ring.  3D works on Abyss’ leg to half ass build the heat until Abyss makes the lukewarm tag to Morgan, who cleans house.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint on Devon and covers, but Ray pulls the referee out of the ring.  Johnny Devine runs in and hits Morgan with a chair.  Devon covers, but Morgan kicks out.  3D hits the reverse 3D, but Morgan kicks out again.  They set up for the proper 3D, but Morgan clotheslines them and tags in Abyss.  Abyss hits the Shock Treatment (I think that’s what it’s called) on Devine to dispose of him.  3D hits the Doomsday Device on Abyss, but Morgan breaks the cover.  Morgan fights Ray on the outside while Abyss and Devon fight in the ring.  Abyss hits a weak chokeslam for a near fall, then picks up the chair.  Before he decides to use it, Ray makes it back in and hits him from behind.  Morgan pulls him out and punches the chair into Devon’s face.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Devon for the win at 11:35 to put the finishing touches on this crapfest.  Bubba low blows Abyss and nails Morgan with the chair, then 3D and Devine bail.  Morgan gets up to find Abyss holding the chair and thinks Abyss was the one who hit him.

Bashir/Williams/Creed video package.

Three-Way Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Petey Williams (c) (w/ Rhaka Khan) vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Consequences Creed.  A Canadian is defending the title in Canada and Earl Hebner is the referee.  Uh oh.  Of course we get the obligatory “YOU SCREWED BRET” chant.  Early action is fast and furious.  Creed hits the second suicide dive of the night to take out Williams and Bashir outside the ring.  They do lots of cool stuff, but most of it is too quick to call.  Williams hits his rana suicida, then Bashir takes him out with a baseball slide dropkick.  Bashir and Creed fight for a bit until Williams makes it back in and sets up a double Canadian Destroyer.  Sorry, not going to happen in this lifetime.  Creed hits a double diving leg drop on both of them.  Williams goes for the Destroyer on Creed, but gets countered.  Williams puts Bashir in the Sharpshooter to the delight of the crowd.  Bashir crawls over and covers Creed, but Williams pulls him back to the middle of the ring.  Creed hits a bulldog on Williams to break the hold.  Creed counters a Destroyer attempt with the same Beach-Break like move he did at the previous PPV.  Williams hits the Destroyer on Creed and covers.  Bashir pulls him out of the ring and sends him into the guardrail, then slips in and pins Creed to win the title at 8:16.  Good match.

Samoa Joe arrives at the building.  The World Champion can’t trouble himself to make it to work on time?

Wilde/Love video package.  The Beautiful People and Kip James make their entrance.  Every one of Kip’s gimmicks is progressively more gay than the last.  Taylor is the hometown girl.  Native champions are not doing well on this show so far.  Taylor introduces her backup for the night, Rhino.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Taylor Wilde (c) (w/ Rhino) vs. Angelina Love (w/ Kip James & Velvet Sky).  They trade girlie punches to start.  Traci Brooks comes out to take notes or something.  She’s the “Knockout Law.”  Sky nails Wilde with Kip’s purple makeup kit outside the ring.  They trade shots back in the ring.  Love hits a front suplex for a near fall.  Wilde gets a front cradle for a near fall.  Rhino Gores an interfering Kip James.  Sky grabs Wilde from behind and holds her so Love can nail her.  Wilde ducks and Love puts on the brakes.  Wilde dropkicks Love into Sky, then hits a Northern Lights suplex for the win at 6:23.  Lousy and boring.

Lethal/Dutt/Val video package.  Tonight they’ll have a ladder match with So Cal Val’s engagement ring hanging above the ring.  The winner gets Val.  Yeah, that’s really smart way to choose your man.

Ladder of Love Match:
Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt.  Good exchange to start, with Dutt taking a Dragon suplex and landing on his knees, then Lethal hitting a tope suicida.  Tenay says he’s just heard that Jacqueline attacked Salinas in the bathroom.  Lethal backdrops Dutt out of the ring and onto a ladder.  Lethal climbs the ladder and goes for the prize, but Dutt springboards to the ladder and drops Lethal into the ropes.  Dutt heads up the ladder, but Lethal powerbombs him.  Dutt brings in another ladder and sets it up between the ropes and the main ladder.  Lethal takes a bump into it, then Dutt hits a springboard flip.  It’s really hard to describe some of this shit.  The second ladder is now on top of the first ladder.  Lethal catapults Dutt, but completely misses the ladders.  Lethal takes the second ladder down and uses it against Dutt.  Matches like this can be really hard to call.  Sick tree of woe spot with the ladder.  They fight in the aisle.  Lethal takes a bump into a ladder set up on two chairs.  Slight “HOLY SHIT” chant.  The make it back in the ring and both set up ladders.  Dutt puts Lethal in the camel clutch ON TOP OF THE LADDERS.  Lethal fights out and sends Dutt crashing to the mat.  Lethal gets his leg caught in the ladder and Val comes in to help him.  Dutt yells at Val.  Dutt and Lethal climb opposite sides of the ladder.  Val gives Lethal a low blow, allowing Dutt to win at 13:22.  They make out after the match.  I’m sure absolutely every one saw this one coming.

Jeremy Borash interviews Kurt Angle.

Beer Money/LAX video package.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Beer Money (c) (w/ Jacqueline) vs. LAX (w/ Hector Guerrero).  Homicide wants Roode, who bails and tags in Storm.  Remember, Roode hit Homicide in the eye with a beer bottle at the previous PPV.  Hernandez tags in and hits a springboard shoulder block on Storm.  Storm hits a Lung Blower on Hernandez and covers, but Homicide makes the save.  Hernandez goes for a powerbomb on Storm, but Roode clips his knee.  Homicide eventually tags in and then tags Roode’s face with punches.  Homicide hits a DDT off the turnbuckle and covers, but Storm saves.  Roode hits a spinebuster, but Hernandez saves.  Hernandez sends Roode out and Homicide hits a suicide dive.  Hernandez climbs the ropes, but Storm spits beer in this face and powerbombs him down.  Second time tonight that spot as been used.  Homicide goes for Roode’s head with a beer bottle, but smashes it into the steps and maybe hits his hand up.  Hernandez hits a dive on everybody.  Roode and Homicide back in the ring.  Homicide goes for the Gringo Killa, but Jacqueline throws powder in his eyes.  Roode hits the Payoff on Homicide for the win at 8:44.  Not bad, but not as good as their previous PPV matches.

Styles/Trigg video package.

MMA/Amateur Wrestling Match: Frank Trigg vs. AJ Styles.  Trigg cuts a promo to piss off the crowd.  There will be three 5 minute rounds, with a 1 minute rest period between rounds.  Typical boring MMA stuff until the take a spill out of the ring.  They go back in the ring and it goes back to being a boring MMA match.  AJ locks in a cross armbreaker as the first round ends.  Crowd chants “THIS IS BULLSHIT” as the second round starts.  AJ hits an accidental low blow and the match is ruled a no contest at 7:16.  This “match” was just plain retarded.  AJ nails Trigg with a Singapore cane afte the match.

Jeremy Borash interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Samoa Joe.  He rips on Sting for not working house shows.

Joe/Booker/Christian/Angle video package.  Booker isn’t here because of the weather, so now it’s a Three-Way Match.

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle.  Sting comes down and Joe attacks him the aisle.  AJ comes out and tries to make peace.  Sting leaves.  Joe goes to the ring so we can have the introductions and the match can start.  Christian and Joe double team Angle a bit, then go at it themselves.  Angle comes back in and hits a belly-to-belly overhead suplex to send Christian over the ropes and out of the ring.  Angle wears down Joe with a rear chin lock.  Christian makes it back in to take a belly-to-belly superplex from Angle.  Joe hits his powerslam on Angle for a two count.  Angle counters an Unprettier attempt from Chrstian into the rolling Germans.  Joe goes for the choke on Angle.  Angle tries to give him the Angle Slam, but Joe hits a German.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster on Christian but fails.  Angle hits the Angle Slam on Joe for a near fall.  Tower of doom spot in the corner.  Joe gets a two count on Christian, then Angle.  Angle tries to give Christian a German off the apron, but Christian holds on, so it just looks gay.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Joe schoolboys Angle for a near fall.  Angle locks Joe in the ankle lock, then puts both in it at the same time.  They flip out of it.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster on Christian and covers, but Angle grabs referee Earl Hebner’s shirt.  Hebner finally gets away and counts two.  Joe throws Christian out of the ring into Angle, then dives out onto both of them.  They make it back into the ring and Angle hits the Angle Slam on Joe.  Christian follows with a frog splash, then sends Angle out of the ring.  Christian hits the Unprettier on Joe and covers, but Angle pulls Hebner out and throws him into the guardrail.  Angle wallops Christian with a chair, then Angle Slams him out of the ring.  He clobbers Joe with the chair and locks in the ankle lock.  Jeff Jarrett comes down and blasts Angle with the guitar.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster and Jarrett puts Hebner back in the ring to count the pin at 15:29.  Joe vs. Sting next month a Bound For Glory!  Alright match.

All in all, a lackluster show with a couple of okay matches, but nothing outstanding.

TNA Hard Justice 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling, Cross The Line!  The start of the PPV intro video is an AWESOME Law & Order parody.

Generic blond tries to interview Sting as he arrives at the arena, but he ignores her questions.

Some shitty rap group performs.  After they’re done, we get the fireworks, then the World’s Worst Commentary Team, Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE from Trenton, New Jersey.  They run down the card for tonight.  They run down the X Factors for the X Division Title Match, which will be kicking off the show.

TNA X Division Championship Match:
Petey Williams (c) (w/ Rhaka Khan) vs. Consequences Creed.  They start with a really good exchange that Creed gets the better of.  Williams takes a press slam into a gutbuster and bails, so Creed hits a suicide dive onto him.  Williams gets back in the ring and distracts the referee so Khan can get in a cheap shot that lets Williams take control.  Williams sends Creed to the outside and hits his suicide rana.  Williams keeps control until Creed nails a kick to start his comeback.  Creed hits a springboard bulldog and his punch combo for a near fall.  Williams hits a Russian leg sweep and signals for the Candian Destroyer, but doesn’t hit it.  Some other stuff happens that I couldn’t type because my wife was making me put stuff on a shelf, then Petey locks in the Sharpshooter.  Creed gets a rope break.  Williams beats on Creed, but Creed hits a German and the Creed-DT.  Creed hits a diving legdrop and covers, but Petey manages to kick out.  Rhaka Khan comes in the ring and Creed gives her the TKO.  Petey goes for the Destroyer, but Creed counters and hits a Beach Break-like move.  Sheik Abdul Bashir comes out and nails Creed with a chair, allowing Petey to hit the Canadian Destroyer for the win at 12:30.  Good match.  Bashir cuts an Anti-American promo after the match.

Jeremy Borash interviews Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash.  Joe says he’s focused and he’s tired of Sting’s crap.  Nash tells Joe he needs to focus on Booker T, and he leaves to talk to Sting.  Joe then has words for Booker about their match tonight.

Hype video for the six-woman tag team match.

Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) & The Beautiful People vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Taylor Wilde, Gail Kim, & ODB.  Traci Brooks is the special referee.  ODB does all of her laughable stupid taunts, much to disgust of Angelina Love.  She tags in Velvet Sky, who is offended by ODB’s body odor.  Sky sprays perfume on her.  ODB takes the perfume and sprays it on her crotch.  Gail tags in and we finally get some wrestling.  Sky quickly tags Love back in.  Wilde tags in and gets the better of Love.  Kong tags in and goes after Wilde.  Wilde quickly tags out to Kim, who also gets thrown around by Kong.  ODB tags in and trades blows with Kong.  Kong smashes Wilde and Kim, but ODB can hang with her.  Wilde and Kim double team her and take her down.  ODB low bridges a charging Kong and sends her out of the ring.  Saeed trips up ODB and Brooks ejects her.  ODB spits her booze in Kong’s face.  Kong smashes her and allows Sky to get a near fall.  Sky ties up ODB with an Octopus stretch.  ODB escapes and tags in Kim as Love tags in on the other side.  Love chokes Kim and Brooks forces her to break.  Love gets in her face.  Love continues to beat on Kim until Wilde tags in and cleans her clock.  Kong tags in and sets up Wilde for the Awesome Bomb, but Kim prevents it.  Everybody starts brawling.  Wilde pins Love with a front cradle at 11:28.  Match wasn’t bad.

Generic Blonde follows Team 3D as they go to find Sting in the rafters of the building.  They discover that Ray is scared of heights.  They just yell and hope he hears them.

LAX/Beer Money hype video.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: LAX (c) (w/ Hector Guerrero & Salinas) vs. Beer Money (w/ Jacqueline).  One of the rappers from earlier performs LAX’s entrance theme live.  They brawl outside the ring before the match starts.  Homicide throws Roode in the ring to officially start the match.  LAX double teams Roode.  Hernandez hits a long stalling suplex.  Homicide brings Storm in and kicks his ass too.  Beer Money double team Homicide outside the ring, but Hernandez hits them with the suicide dive.  First “THAT WAS AWESOME!” chant of the night.  Homicide beats up Roode in the ring.  Storm spits beer in Homicide’s eyes, which allows Roode to get the advantage.  Beer Money build the heat on Homicide, who is kayfabe injured from Beer Money putting him through a glass table recently.  Homicide tries to fight back, but Beer Money continues to destroy him.  Storm hits a swank DDT off the ropes on Homicide for a near fall, then a nice knee kick for the same.  Roode antagonizes the crowd by giving Homicide the Three Amigos.  Roode goes for a frog splash, but Homicide rolls out of the way and makes the hot tag.  Hernandez destroys both of them and covers Storm after a spinebuster, but Roode saves.  Beer Money double team Hernandez and Storm gets a near fall after Roode hits a blockbuster.  Homicide tags back in and hits a double dropkick on both of Beer Money.  Homicide suplexes Storm and goes up top.  Jacqueline tries to stop him, but Homicide kicks her away and hits the frog splash for a near fall.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Storm.  Hernandez takes care of Roode, but Storm gives him a Lungblower.  Homicide hits the Gringo Cutter on Storm and Beer Money bails.  Hernandez Border Tosses Homicide out of the ring onto Beer Money.  Hernandez throws Roode back in the ring and charges him, but Roode low bridges him.  Salinas and Jacqueline get into a cat fight.  In the ring, Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer on Storm, but Roode breaks a beer bottle over Homicide’s head and allows Storm to get the pin and win the titles at 14:05.  Really good formula tag match.

Kevin Nash tries to talk Sting out of whatever he’s planning to do tonight.

Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt/So Cal Val love triangle video package.

Black Tie Brawl & Chain Match:
“The Guru” Sonjay Dutt vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal (w/ So Cal Val).  They’ll wrestle chained together and wearing tuxedos.  You win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  Lethal’s family is shown in the crowd, as we’re in his home state.  Lethal cleverly secures his side of the chain to the ring rope and beats on Dutt.  The referee finally chains up Lethal so the match officially starts.  Dutt hits a low blow with the chain and beats up Lethal.  Lethal dodges a fist drop with the chain and fights back.  Dutt bails and Lethal hits a suicide cross body.  Dutt tries to get away, but they’re chained together.  Moron.  Lethal dies Dutt to the ringpost with the chain and beats on him until Dutt ducks a blow and Lethal punches the post.  Lethal strangles Dutt with the chain and Val pleads with him to stop.  Val leaves, which distracts Lethal and allows Dutt to pull him into the post.  Dutt pulls Lethal’s jacket and shirt off.  Dutt beats on Lethal and taunts his family.  Crowd chants “BORING.”  Dutt goes for a springboard dive, but Lethal yanks the chain and Dutt takes a nasty bump.  Lethal throws Dutt around with the chain and gooes for the Lethal Combination, but Dutt counters.  Lethal hits another move for a two count.  I thought you could only win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  Dutt hits the Sonjay Cutter for a near fall.  Dutt goes for a diving move, but misses.  Lethal hits a cool rolling Fisherman buster.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination and the diving elbow drop for the win at 11:19… even though you can only win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  It’s TNA and we know they’re retarded, so I digress.  They made a good brawl out of a silly gimmick.

Jeremy Borash is in the locker room with Booker T and Sharmell.  Booker still has possession of the World Title belt, even though Joe is the champion.  Booker has words for Samoa Joe, then they drink champagne.

Team 3D/Christian & Rhino video package.

Jersey Street Fight: Team 3D vs. Christian Cage & Rhino.  They start with the brawling you’d expect, then Bubba tosses Christian into the air and Christian takes an awesome bump… very similar to the one Sonjay took in the previous match.  It’s the same problem I saw with the show I watched yesterday, too many of the matches have the same shit in them.  They brawl in the crowd for a while, then back in the ring Christian hits Bubba with a sign that says “CHRISTIAN USE MY SIGN.”  Bubba throws the steps into the ring and Devon hits Rhino with them.  Tenay and West have one of those moments that make me remember how awful and annoying they are.  Christian slams Bubba’s race into the steps, then tries to hit him with a Detour sign.  Bubba moves and hits the Bubba Bomb off the steps for a near fall.  Crowd chants “WE WANT TABLES!”  There’s a funny spot where Devon charges Christian, who holds up a stop sign.  Rhino Gores Devon and covers, but Bubba breaks it.  Christian goes for the Unprettier, but Bubba counters and hits an electric chair drop.  Rhino rams Devon’s head repeatedly into Bubba’s balls.  Bubba hits a superbomb on Christian.  Christian kicks out of the cover.  3D finally brings in a table.  Rhino and Christian set up a ladder.  Christian hits a frog splash off the ladder on Bubba.  Rhino Gores Bubba into a table that doesn’t break for the win at 15:22.  The match was your typical plunder based brawl, not awful but nothing special.  Johnny Devine runs in and attacks Christian and Rhino with a Singapore cane.  Abyss makes the save, giving Devine the Black Hole Slam.

Generic blond interviews AJ Styles, then we get a video package of his history with Kurt Angle.  The angle (no pun intended) here is that AJ supposedly nailed Kurt’s wife.

Last Man Standing Match: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles.  Angle stalls for a bit at the beginning, bailing every time AJ approaches him.  Styles chases Angle around the ring.  Angle gets in first and gets the advantage.  AJ fights back, then Angle rakes his eyes.  AJ ducks Angle and hits a dropkick, then clotheslines him out of the ring and hits a suicide dive.  AJ gets Angle back in the ring and kicks his ass.  Angle begs off, then throws AJ through the ropes.  Angle suplexes AJ into the guardrail.  Ouch.  Angle goes for a pinall, so I guess it’s Texas Death Match rules here.  They fight up the ramp, where AJ suplexes Angle and gets a two count.  Angle suplex Styles off the stage, then does a somersault onto him!  Cover gets two.  They fight back to the ring, where Angle clamps on a sleeper hold.  AJ fights out and blasts Angle with a kick.  Angle hits an overhead belly-to-belly.  Angle beats up AJ some more and clamps on a headlock.  AJ fights back and gets in some blows, then they catch each other with cross body blocks.  They get back up and AJ hits his springboard forearm.  Styles puts Angle in the Torture Rack, then hits a move out of it for a near fall.  AJ goes for the Styles Clash, but Angle counters and goes for the ankle lock.  AJ counters and hits a spinebuster.  Angle catches Styles coming off the top rope and powerbombs him for a near fall, then tries to hit him with the Styles Clash.  Styles counters and puts Angle in the ankle lock.  Angle taps.  Angle beats the count up.  Styles misses the flip reverse DDT and Angle low blows him and hits a German.  Styles ducks a shot and hits the Pele kick.  Angle hits a sort of German off the top rope and gets a pin.  AJ gets up.  Angle hits the Angle Slam and gets another pin.  AJ gets up again and counters the Angle Slam into the Styles Clash for a pin.  Angle gets up at 9.  Styles MURDERS Angle with a DDT off the top rope.  Cover gets three, referee counts ten, and AJ is the winner at 24:52.  Finish was scary, knowing Angle’s history with neck problems.  Match was pretty good.  Medics come out to put Angle on a stretcher.  AJ comes back and suplexes Angle.  The lights go out, and when they came back on Sting has AJ by the head on the ramp.  Sting gives AJ the Scorpion Death Drop.  Nash appears and confronts Sting, but Sting just leaves.  They show highlights of the match, including a few replays of the sick finish.

Samoa Joe/Booker T history video.

Six Sides of Steel with Weapons Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Booker T (w/ Sharmell).  They brawl.  Booker tries to use a Singapore can and fails.  Joe kicks a trash can into Booker’s balls and hits his senton on the trashcan onto Booker.  “JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU” chant.  Joe uses the cane, then hammers Booker with punches in the corner.  Booker hits Joe the remnants of the trash can.  Joe ducks a hockey stick shot and nails a kick, then sandwiches Booker’s head with trash can lids for a two count.  Booker kicks a chair into Joe’s face, then blasts him in the head with the chair.  Joe is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Booker chokes Joe with a piece of wood and tries to climb out of the cage.  Joe follows and hits an Ace Crusher off the top rope.  Joe hammers Booker and rams his head into the cage.  Booker hits a move for a near fall and locks Joe in a guillotine choke.  I think I hear a “YOU SCREWED BRET” chant directed at referee Earl Hebner.  Let it go, people.  Booker superkicks a trash can lid into Joe’s face for a near fall.  Booker tries to climb out again and they fight on the top rope.  Joe jumps up and kicks him in the head.  Joe takes a hard bump to the canvas and Booker crotches himself on the top rope.  Joe hits his powerslam for a near fall.  Joe hits a powerbomb and locks in the STF.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster, but Booker gets out and hits the Book End on a chair for a near fall.  Booker spinaroonies up and nails the axe kick as the lights go out.  When they come back on, Joe has a familiar looking guitar in his hand.  Joe blasts Booker with the guitar for the pin at 12:46.  Okay plunder match, I guess.

All in all, I give the show a thumbs in the middle.  Top to bottom okay matches.

TNA Genesis 2009 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Opening (Cross The Line!), then a video package chronicling the rise of the Main Event Mafia, then hyping the important matches tonight.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us to Genesis LIVE from Charlotte, North Carolina.  Time for our opening “These guys have nothing else to do and we want to throw them on the show” match.

Elimination Match: Sonjay Dutt, Jimmy Rave, & Kiyoshi vs. LAX & Eric Young.  During the entrances the announcers mention that the Awesome Kong/Christy Hemme match scheduled for tonight will not happen due to injuries and that Rhino has not arrived at the building yet. Anyway, Homicide and Dutt start, then Rave and Young go at it a bit.  The big man, Hernandez, comes in against Kiyoshi, who now has a red streak in his hair.  LAX double teams Kiyoshi.  We get a split screen with Jim Cornette knocking on the MEM’s locker room and nobody answering.  Back in the ring, Homicide hits a modified Tiger Driver on Dutt.  He goes for a splash or a headbutt, but Dutt moves and tags in Kiyoshi.  Kiyoshi plays “generic Japanese guy” well.  This is also your “match with lots of dives to the outside” TNA has at least one of on every show.  Split screen: the MEM is still ignoring Cornette.  Dutt pins Young with his feet on the ropes at 10:38.  Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer, but Dutt escapes and tags in Rave.  Rave pins Homicide with a school boy and a handful of tights at 11:29.  It’s 3 on 1 against Homicide now, but he has a World Title shot soon, so he smashes all of them.  Border Toss eliminates Kiyoshi at 12:49.  A sit-out powerbomb sends Dutt to the showers at 13:07.  A top rope splash eliminates Rave at 13:47, leaving Hernandez as your sole survivor.  It seems like they realized they didn’t book enough shit for the PPV, so they threw this on to kill some time.

Scott Steiner finally answers the door.  Cornette thinks the MEM have something to do with Rhino not being there yet.  Steiner says Rhino is probably drunk pissing himself in a gutter somewhere.

Highlights of the X Division Championship Tournament are shown.  Tonight, the Motor City Machine Guns face each other in the final.

TNA X Division Championship Tournament – Final: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley.  Sabin beat Sonjay Dutt and Kiyoshi to make it here, while Shelley beat Jay Lethal and Eric Young.  Awesome “great workers starting a match” sequence.  They wrestle for nearly four minutes, then start nailing some strikes as well.  Sabin ends up on the outside and ducks back into the ring to avoid a diving from Shelley.  Shelley lands on his feet, but then takes a dive from Sabin.  Back in the ring, Shelley hits a cool cannonball leg drop back in the ring.  They both do neat submission holds at various points.  This is just an awesome match.  Even the announcers aren’t awful for a change.  Sabin hits a swank tornado DDT for a two count.  Sabin dives off the ropes, but Shelley catches him in an armbar and transitions into the crossface.  More cool stuff.  Sabin gets another near fall with a Tiger suplex hold.  My wife keeps walking in front of the TV and making me miss spots, but I did catch Shelley hitting a Schwein.  Shelley goes for a frog splash, but Sabin catches him with knees.  Shelley manages to hit a frog splash to the back, then another to the front, and Sabin kicks out!  “THIS IS AWESOME!” chant.  For once, the morons are right.  Sabin nails a lariat and the Cradle Shock for a near fall.  Sabin goes for an avalanche Cradle Shock, but Sabin fights out and hits the Shiranui for the near fall.  Shelley feigns a foot injury and school boys a concerned Sabin for the win at 16:40.  Weak finish to a really good match.

Jim Cornette tells Jeremy Borash that not only is Rhino missing, but Kevin Nash is in the hospital with a staph infection, she he’s out of the main event.  Mick Foley instructs Cornette to tell the Main Event Mafia to find a suitable replacement.

Tenay and West run down the matches still to come tonight.

Bashir/Sewell video package.

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Shane Sewell.  Sewell comes out to no reaction and Tenay puts over how the crowd is solidly on his side.  Sewell does a wrestling move here and there, but it’s essentially a brawl, which makes sense given the storyline.  Around the 9 minute mark, Sewell locks in a figure-four leglock, which gets a big reaction in Charlotte.  Bashir takes a swing at referee Earl Hebner and gets slapped for his trouble.  Sewell gets the win with a sunset flip and a fast count from Hebner at 10:18.  The other referees run out to celebrate with Sewell.  The match was fine, but I had a feeling it was longer than it needed to be.

Cornette interrogates Booker T (w/ Sharmell) about why Rhino is missing.  Booker threatest Cornette.  Sewell gets involved, leading to an altercation between Booker and Sewell.

Hype video for the Tag title match.

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed (c) vs. Beer Money (w/ Jacqueline) vs. Matt Morgan & Abyss.  Lethal & Creed cashed in their Feast or Fired briefcase and took advantage of an injury to Robert Roode to win the titles a month before… er, I mean three days before on iMPACT!.  Nothing interesting happens for a few minutes, then there’s a funny spot where Beer Money and Jacqueline fall in a way that looks like Storm and Roode are double teaming Jackie.  Double teaming in the adult film way, not the wrestling match way.  Morgan dives from the top rope onto all four of his opponents on the outside.  The match goes back to being not especially interesting after that, other than a cool double team spot from Beer Money on Creed.  At 14 1/2 minutes, Abyss accidentally nails Morgan with one of the tag title belts.  Roode covers, but the referee is busy ejecting Jacqueline.  Lethal comes off with the diving elbow, but Storm blasts him with the superkick.  Storm puts Roode on top of Morgan for the three count to regain the belts at 15:21.

Kurt Angle barges into Jim Cornette’s office.  Angle tells Cornette the MEM beat up Rhino, but they did leave him with cab fare.

Taylor Wilde, ODB, & Roxxi vs. The Kongtourage (Raisha Saeed, Rhaka Khan, & Sojourner Bolt).  If TNA needed a couple of big black women, why didn’t they call Jazz?  The faces all get their shine, then the heels get heat on Wilde.  Hot tag to ODB, who cleans house.  ODB hits a powerslam on Saeed, then Bolt completely misses making the save.  It looked like that to me anyway.  Wilde dives to the outside to take out Bolt and Saeed.  ODB pins Saeed with an inside cradle on 7:46.  Match wasn’t very good.  Lots of botches.  Awesome Kong comes out and chokeslams ODB, trying not to show that here back was hurt, which was half the reason the Kong/Hemme match didn’t happen.

Cornette asks Sting why he condones the MEM attacking his opponent for tonight.  Sting takes offense at Cornette assuming he had anything to do with it, since, ya know, they need an out in case they decide to turn him face again.

Kurt Angle/Jeff Jarrett video package.  Man, I really need to watch their Bound For Glory match.  I bet it was good.

No DQ Grudge Match: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett.  Jarrett starts off with angry punches.  They fight at ringside.  Split screen: Rhino is here, mad and selling a back injury.  Jarrett throws beer in Angle’s face.  Alcohol abuse!  Tenay says the cup of beer was 24 ounces.  They are big cups.  I wish the beers at the Civic Center where I go to shows were 24 ounces.  Angle takes over on Jarrett in the ring.  Jarrett hits a nice armdrag to counter the Angle slam and hits a smooth backdrop to send Angle over the top rope.  Jarrett dives out onto Angle!  He botched it, though.  Angle throws Jarrett over the announce table.  Angle hits Jarrett with the bell.  Jarrett is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Angle is bloody too as they brawl on the stage.  ANGLE SLAM OFF THE STAGE THROUGH A TABLE!  On replay, it looks like Jarrett mostly missed the table and went straight to concrete.  They make it back to the ring.  They’re both bloody and full of hate.  Jarrett hits a Pedigree of all things.  Jarrett goes for the Stroke, but Angle counters and locks in the Ankle Lock.  Jarrett dropkicks a chair into Angle’s face and hits the Stroke for a near fall.  Angle hits a missile dropkick and the Angle Slam for a near fall of his own.  Jarrett tries to use the guitar, but Angle kicks him in the balls to prevent it.  Angle asks the crowd if he should use the guitar or the chair.  He decides on the chair.  He blasts Jarrett with it, but Jarrett kicks out again.  Angle ducks an enzuigiri and locks in the ankle lock.  Jarrett rolls through and gets a near fall off a front cradle.  Jarrett counters another Angle Slam attempt with a DDT.  Jarrett picks up the guitar again, but it’s broken, so Jarrett blasts Angle with a chair shot instead.  Jarrett lays on the cover, but Angle counters into a crucifix hold for the win at 22:00.  Another great match with a weak finish.  Angle Pillmanizes Jarrett’s angle with the chair after the match.

Backstage, Cornette tries to persuade Rhino to not go through the match tonight.  Rhino says he’s wrestling.

Back in the arena, Jeff Jarrett is stretchered away.  They show replays of the post-match Angle.

Rhino/Sting video package.  Rhino has stepped up to the front line of, well… the Frontline.  Remember: Rhino pinned Sting clean in a non-title match to set this up.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sting (c) vs. Rhino.  Rhino is selling the off-camera beatdown we heard about earlier.  Rhino, who was already bleeding to sell the beating, gets his bandage ripped off and bleeds more.  After 6 minutes of not much happening, Rhino hits the Gore.  Sting rolls to the outside before he can get pinned.  Rhino goes for a frog splash back in the ring, but misses.  Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Rhino doesn’t tap, despite the fact that he’s selling a back injury.  Rhino makes it the ropes, but Sting pulls him back to the middle, so Rhino gets another rope break.  Rhino goes for the Gore again, but Sting moves and hits the Scorpion Death Drop for the victory at 8:24.  Really weak match.

Jeremy Borash interviews Mick Foley, Brother Devon, and AJ Styles.  Styles dedicates the match tonight to Samoa Joe and his newborn son.  Devon dedicates it to Brother Ray.  Foley gets his interview time next and is in full Cactus Jack mode.

Frontline/Main Event Mafia video package, and it’s main event time.  Booker and Steiner come out first.  Booker’s accent keeps getting more and more retarded.  Booker introduces their replacement: “Cutie” Kip.  WTF?  I guess they couldn’t find a suitable replacement after all.  Kip runs down his credentials.  He says he’s a two time Intercontinental Champion.  He’s not.  The MEM’s suitable replacement can’t even count to 1!

The Main Event Mafia of TNA Legends Champion Booker T (w/ Sharmell) & Scott Steiner and Kip James vs. Mick Foley and The Frontline of AJ Styles & Brother Devon.  Everybody pairs off and brawls to start the match.  The match settles down in the ring.  Nothing interesting happens.  Bell rings for a double count-out at 8:20.  Cornette comes out and orders the match restarted.  Booker says he doesn’t have the authority.  Foley says that Cornette doesn’t have the authority, but HE does.  Foley orders the match restarted as a Hardcore Match!  Now the match is a wild brawl WITH PLUNDER!  Styles puts Kip through a table with a dive.  Devon hits a diving headbutt on Steiner.  Booker blasts Devon with the scissors kick.  Foley puts Booker in the Socko Claw, but Steiner hits Foley with a trash can.  Foley gives Steiner a double arm DDT on a chair for the win at about 16 minutes.  Match was bad.  Fin.

I give the show as a whole thumbs in the middle.  Shelley/Sabin and Angle/Jarrett both had very good matches, but weak finishes.  The rest of the show was just plain bad.

TNA iMPACT! 1/14/10 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 14, 2010 by Grappleholic

The show starts with highlights of the January 4 Impact.  Ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the hosts.

Generation Me vs. The Motor City Machine Guns.  Well this is awesome on paper.  Generation Me are the Young Bucks.  Sabin starts with the dark haired one.  Quick tag to Shelley.  Apparently the Bucks’ new names are Max and Jeremy.  I’m still not sure which is which.  They show “The Band,” Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Sean Waltman arriving.  The dark haired Buck hits a sweet neckbreaker off the top on Sabin, then tags in the light haired one.  Tenay says the light haired one is Jeremy.  Jeremy takes out Shelley with an Asai moonsault, then hits a swank springboard facebuster on Sabin.  Tag to Max.  Sabin tries to fight them both, but they double team him.  Taz says “Who are these young bucks?”  Tag to Shelley, who hits a diving thrust kick on Max.  Max spears Shelley.  Stereo splash/standing moonsault by Generation Me.  Sabin saves.  Shelley hits the Complete Shot into the turnbuckle on Max.  Sabin takes out Jeremy.  Guns double team Max again.  Jeremy saves.  Jeremy avoids a Sabin dive to the outside.  Jeremy superkicks Shelley.  Max pins Shelley at 5:00 after the More Bang For Your Buck.  Great little sprint.

The Nasty Boys are still in Team 3D’s locker room, which they’ve completely trashed.  Team 3D  knocks on the door.  The Nastys tell them in girly voices that it isn’t their locker room anymore.  Stupid.

Video package of Hulk Hogan announcing that Kurt Angle will challenge AJ Styles for the World Title at Genesis, but it’s Angle’s last shot at Styles.  Also, a new “Impact player” will debut at Genesis.

Kurt Angle comes out and talks.  AJ Styles comes out to retort.  They shake hands and hug.  After Angle leaves, the masked man beats up Styles.  He unmasks to reveal Tomko, then leaves.

Christy Hemme interviews The Band.  She calls Waltman “Syxx-Pac.”  What name are they using, then?  Bubba The Love Sponge takes over the interview.  They beat up Mick Foley last week, and now nobody knows where he is.

The Beautiful People come out for their match. Velvet Sky is happy to see Angelina Love in the front row.

Non-Title: The Beautiful People (w/ Lacey Von Erich) vs. TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Awesome Kong & Hamada. Sky and Hamada start. Velvet gets the better of Hamada. The Beauts try double teaming, but Hamada trips them and tags in Kong, who kills them. Awesome Bomb to Rayne gets the pin at 1:56. Love comes in the ring, seemingly to check on Rayne, but then beats up Rayne and Velvet.

AJ Styles goes into Eric Bischoff’s office looking for Hogan. Bischoff says Hogan is fucking off somewhere. He wants Tomko tonight. Bischoff says he can have the match if he puts the title on the line. Styles agrees.

Beer Money is looking for Eric Bischoff. More commercials. Seriously, there was a commercial, then like a 20 second clip where Beer Money is looking for Bischoff, then more commercials.

Jeremy Borash goes into the Hogan/Bischoff room.  Bischoff is apparently talking to the mystery man.  Borash asks about Mick Foley’s whereabouts.  Bischoff chews him out for letting Foley into the building last week.  Beer Money comes in.  They want the Outsiders at the PPV.  Bischoff drinks Storm’s beer, then tells them he’ll get back to them.

Lethal Consequences comes out for a match against Team 3D.  Bobby Lashley jumps them and kills them both as Kristal looks on approvingly.  Kristal says Lashley will continue to beat people up until she gets her meeting with Hogan.  They leave.  Team 3D comes out, with Bubba carrying an axe.

Lethal Consequences vs. Team 3D.  3D on Creed.  Devon gets the pin.  I didn’t get to time it, but it was around 10 seconds.  Bubba cuts a promo on the Nasty Boys.  He says they’re going to the back to take their locker room back.

Bubba cuts down the door with the axe.  3D finds their locker room trashed.  The Nasty Boys jump them from behind, throw stuff at them, and leave them laying.

Tomko video, talking about his former tag team with AJ Styles.  Didn’t he just reveal himself half an hour ago?

Sean Morley comes out as Tenay announces that Lashley vs. Abyss has been added to Genesis.  Apparently he’s now directing, producing, and distributing porn instead of acting in it.  They randomly cut to a disgusted looking girl in the crowd.  He wants to create a TNA Films division.  Christopher Daniels comes out.  He acts happy and welcomes Morley to TNA, turns on him, and stomps a mudhole in him, then drops him with a Rock Bottom and hits the BME.  Daniels bitches at him on the mic.  Morley wakes up and clotheslines Daniels to the floor.

Tara/ODB video.  They’ll meet at Genesis in a 2/3 Falls Match.  I don’t care.

Jeff Jarrett (w/ guy in suit) is in the building!

Another random bit of show in the middle of the commercial: Matt Morgan and Hernandez are working out before their match with Beer Money.

Matt Morgan & Hernandez vs. Beer Money.  I got distracted during the first minute.  Beer Money suplexes Hernandez, then does the BEER! MONEY! post, which Morgan interrupts and drops them both.  Hernandez hits a springboard double clothesline on Beer Money, then pounces Roode across the ring, then takes on Beer Money with a suicide dive, then whistles.  Rob Terry attacks Hernandez to cause the DQ at 2:42.  They beat him backstage.  The Band comes out and beats down Beer Money.  Security and refs try to break it up.  Eric Bischoff comes out and stands on the stage.  Commercial.

Moments ago, what I just typed moments ago happened.  During the break, Bischoff told Beer Money that the next round is on him.  Does that mean they get their match?

Now, Bischoff talks to The Band in the ring.  He makes the match official.  Nash, Hall, and Waltman hug.  Sting is in the rafters.

Another Tomko video.  He’s mad because AJ never returned his phone calls.

Tenay and Taz reviewed the tape during the break, and their SURE that Sting is in the rafters.  Regular Holmes and Watson, those two.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Samoa Joe.  D’Angelo Dinero is on commentary.  He’ll face Wolfe at Genesis.  Joe hammers Nigel with punches, squashes him in the corner, kicks him.  Nigel fights back.  Joe hits the snap powerslam for 2.  Joe goes for the choke.  Nigel escapes.  Joe hits an STO.  Nigel counters another STO and gets awesome.  Nigel goes for the Tower of London, but Joe locks in the choke from the top rope.  Nigel hits the Tower of London anyway for the pin at 3:24.  Good little match.  So Cal Val replaces Nigel’s jacket and sunglasses.  Nigel tells Pope “If I can beat Joe, I can beat you.”

Ric Flair arrives in a limo.  He’s going to do color commentary!

Tomko video.  He put on a mask and attacked AJ a bunch.

Jeff Jarrett invades Hogan’s office and yells about “his company” a bunch.  He says TNA is and has always been him, that the young guys aren’t worth a damn.  Bischoff tells off Jarrett.  Jarrett yells at Hogan some more.  Hogan threatens to kick Jarrett’s ass.  Jarrett bitches down.

Tenay and Taz run down the Genesis card.

Ric Flair comes out to do commentary on the main event.  Commercials!

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) vs. Tomko.  AJ jumps Tomko before JB can finish the introductions.  They fight.  Kurt Angle comes out to observe.  He shakes hands and hugs Flair.  Tomko powerslams Styles for 2.  Tomko with a big boot for 2.  Commercials.  Tomko has Styles in a rear chin lock.  Commercials.  Tomko hits a powerslam for 2.  AJ starts fighting back and rocks him with an enzuigiri and the Pele kick for the pin in 7:50.  Match was kind a lame.  They keep fighting after the match.  Angle runs off Tomko.  Styles refuses to shake Angle’s hand.  That dick.

Genesis hype video to close the show.

Man, this was an ordeal.

TNA iMPACT! 1/4/10 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 4, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line.  History of TNA video… since this is the biggest TNA iMPACT EVER!!!  The episode title is “Time For A Change.”  Impact open.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are our commentary team.  This is the BIGGEST TNA SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF THE ENTIRE KNOWN UNIVERSE!  Tenay and Taz run down tonight’s card.

Footage earlier today of Bubba the Love Sponge interviewing fans.

Steel Asylum Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Homicide vs. Kiyoshi vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide vs. Amazing Red (c).  Everybody starts fighting as Suicide immediately tries to escape, but Red stops him.  Lethal Consequences double team Sabin.  Shelley and Lethal both try to escape.  Kiyoshi stops Lethal.  Red kicks Suicide in the head.  Sabin hits a tornado DDT on Kiyoshi.  Lethal finally goes after Shelley.  Suicide with a move on Red.  Lethal with the Lethal Combination on Suicide.  Sabin kicks somebody.  Kiyoshi drops Sabin.  Creed press slams Kiyoshi into double knees.  Everybody hits moves.  Suicide tries to escape, but Red fights him.  Red comes off the top of the Asylum and hits a rana on Sabin.  World Elite double teams Red.  Homicide hits people with a baton.  The bell rings at 4:05, ruling it a no-contest.  THE FUCK?  Crowd chants “THIS IS BULLSHIT!”  I agree.  Everybody wakes up and beats up Homicide.  Jeff Hardy’s old TNA music hits and he comes through the crowd.  Homicide jumps him.  Hardy kicks his ass and kills him with a chair shot and gives him the Twist of Fate on the ramp.  Hardy sits on top of the Asylum.

Way to go, TNA… first match and I already have a headache.  Way to shit on the fans AND show you’re morons by signing a guy who’s facing charges for drug possession.

Moments ago… Jeff Hardy did stuff.  Now… Jeff Hardy shakes hands with Shannon Moore in the back.

Hulk Hogan’s limo is getting a police escort to the Impact Zone.

Christy Hemme interviews Kevin Nash.  Nash talks about Hogan.  He says Hulk is on his way, and he’s not alone.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Tara (c) vs. ODB.  ODB jumps Tara immediately.  Tara catches her with an elbow and drops her with a clothesline.  They trade chops.  Tara throws kicks and lands an enzuigiri.  Tara with a slam and the standing moonsault for 2.  Tara with the tarantula, then a hilo leg drop for 2.  Tara tries to set up the Widows’ Peak, but ODB counters and goes for the TKO.  Tara goes for it again.  ODB counters again and schoolgirls her with a handful of tights her to win the title at 2:21.  Tara gives ODB the Widow’s Peak after the match, then puts the spider on her.

A limo pulls up and RIC FLAIR gets out!  He shakes hands with Beer Money, Eric Young, some refs, then goes into the bathroom.

Earlier today… Christy Hemme talks to fans.  Mick Foley shows up.  He’s been barred from the Impact Zone.  He promises to be on his best behavior, but security still won’t let him in.

Bobby and Kristal Lashley come to the ring.  Kristal babbles.  Everyone boos her.  She says Lashley wants his release from TNA, because they have better things to do.  They leave.

Velvet Sky leads a camera man into a Beautiful People poker game.  Is Lacey’s gimmick that she’s stupid?  Oh, so they’re all stupid.  And now they’re playing strip poker.

Scott Hall and Sean Waltman try to get into the building.  They choke the security guards.

Tenay and Taz babble about Twitter and Hogan.

Some shenanigans with Hogan’s limo.

Hall and Waltman come into the crowd and sit down.

Hulk Hogan comes to the ring.  He’s wearing all black and has nWo rip off music.  Hogan says he’s been in the back all day long, even though his limo supposedly just arrived.  This fucking show…  He says TNA will be the #1 company in the world.  Yeah, and I’m the next Pope.  Hall and Waltman jump the rail.  Security tries to stop them, but Hogan says let them through.  Hall runs through his catchphrases.  He wants to get the band back together and party.  Hogan says things aren’t like that anymore.  Waltman disagrees.  Hogan says things are totally different now.  They continue to bicker.  Nash comes out.  He tells Hall and Waltman to let Hogan play his role tonight.  Hogan says he’s here to change the company for the better.  The old goat probably really believes that, too.  Nash asks Hogan when he turned corporate.  Hogan again says that it’s a different time.  Eric Bischoff comes out.  Bischoff tells them everybody has to earn their spot in TNA.  Nash says “We hear ya loud and clear, talk to ya later.”  Nash, Hall, and Waltman leave.  Hogan and Bischoff talk more about everything changing.  Dixie Carter looks on approvingly from the crowd.  Bischoff asks for a format of the show.  He rips it up and gives So Cal Val a new one to hand to whoever.  Bischoff says they’re going to turn the company upside down.  I think they’ve got a good start on that.  Ugh, this fucking show.  Sting is in the rafters.

Moments ago… Sting was in the rafters.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Match: Taylor Wilde & Sarita (c) vs. Awesome Kong & Hamada.  Sarita and Hamada lock up and do some awesome wrestling.  Tag to Wilde, who hits a swank diving arm drag.  Somebody laid out the Motor City Machine Guns in the back.  Kong falls on Sarita for a 2 count.  Wilde throws dropkicks at Kong.  Wilde and Sarita finally take her out of the ring with a double dropkick.  Wilde and Sarita to the outside with dives.  Insta-commercial.  The heels work over Wilde.  Wilde avoids the Awesome Bomb and hits a Codebreaker, then makes the lukewarm tag to Sarita.  Sarita ducks Kong’s clothesline, then eats Hamada’s foot.  They half ass double team Sarita.  Wilde with a rana to Hamada.  Sarita tries it on Kong, who sits on her.  Wilde saves.  Kong with the spinning back first to the leg.  Hamada sends Wilde into the post.  Kong gets Wilde up for the powerbomb.  Hamada comes off the top with a dropkick to add oomph to it.  Kong gets the pin on Sarita (5:47 shown).

The Beautiful People are still playing poker.  Val Venis comes in, but won’t let them say his name.  They finally agree to let him play.

Mick Foley is still trying to get into the building.  The Nasty Boys show up.  Security won’t let them in either.

Raven & Stevie Richards (w/ Daffney) vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez.  Winners get a Tag title shot at Genesis, apparently.  The big dudes kick ass.  Morgan pins Stevie with the Carbon Footprint at 38 seconds.

Christy interviews D’Angelo Dinero.  He’ll face Desmond Wolfe tonight.  Orlando Jordan of all people interrupts.  He’s looking for Hogan, who invited him.  Orlando Jordan?  Seriously?

Desmond Wolfe vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Dinero shines, which is fine.  Wolfe starts kicking his ass, which rules.  I love the way he attacks his opponent’s arm.  Pope avoids him in the corner and hits a Vader Bomb-style elbow.  Wolfe attacks the arm again, then goes for the Tower of London.  Wolfe ducks an elbow and goes for a backslide, but Dinero gets him with an inside cradle for the pin at 2:38.  These two could have a good match if they had some time.

Jeff Jarrett is here!

Jeremy Borash finds that Rhino has been jumped.  Bubba the Love Sponge takes over the… interview?

Tenay and Taz talk about the “awesome” night.  Replays of Hogan’s interview from earlier.  The video freezes at Hogan on the entrance ramp for a long time.

Tenay and Taz talk.

JB interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, AJ Styles.  He’ll defend against Kurt Angle at Genesis.  Eric Bischoff interrupts.  Bischoff tells Styles that his title defense against Angle won’t be at Genesis, it will be tonight.  Video finally unfreezes.  AJ is excited.

Jeff Jarrett comes to the ring.  He talks about founding TNA and having the company last way longer than anyone thought it would.  He talks some more.  Hogan appears on the screen and tells Jarrett that he ran the company into the ground.  Hogan is now Dixie Carter’s partner.  He claims he’s going to give the young guys a shot.  I’ll believe that when I see it.  Hogan says Jarrett has no more stroke, and he has to lace up his boots and earn his spot just like everyone else.

Christy interviews Christopher Daniels, who seems to have found his first name.  JB interrupts.  He’s on the phone with Mick Foley.  Foley finally gets into the arena.  He has words for Hogan.

Jeff Hardy paints as Shannon Moore watches.  They’re going to meet with “the big man.”

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe.  Abyss was supposed to face Rhino tonight, but Rhino is napping on the job, so it’s now Abyss vs. Joe.  Joe kicks ass to start.  Abyss manages to drop Joe with a big boot.  Joe bails.  Abyss follows him out.  Joe swings a chair, but Abyss ducks and Joe clobbers the post.  Back into the ring.  Joe kicks ass some more.  Abyss fights back.  Sidewalk slam gets 2.  Joe comes off the middle rope with a kick for 2.  Joe hammers away at Abyss.  Abyss tries to Hulk up, so Joe kicks him down.  Joe comes off the middle rope, but Abyss catches him with a chokeslam for 2.  Joe clobbers Abyss with a chair while the ref is distracted.  Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch for the win at 4:49.  It was fine, I guess.

Bischoff is talking to a producer.  Kristal Lashley tells him that Bobby Lashley wants his release.  Bischoff doesn’t care.  Kristal demands a meeting with Hogan.  Bischoff tells her to take a number and get in line, and to drop the attitude if she talks to Hogan.  Kristal threatens to tell her husband on Bischoff.  Bischoff still doesn’t care.

Bubba the Love Sponge finds that Beer Money has been jumped.

The Nasty Boys are still trying to get into the building.  Bubba distracts the security guard so they can slip into the building.

JB interviews Kurt Angle.  He says tonight, he’s taking his title back.

Hardy and Moore got the big envelopes they came for.  Three screaming girls run up to them.  Jeff gives them his painting.  He and Moore get into their car and leave.

The Nasty Boys invade Team 3D’s locker room.  3D are in Japan.  The security guard who wouldn’t let them in gives them donuts.  The Nastys beat the donut guy up, then trash 3D’s locker room.  I have a perverse desire to see 3D vs. The Nasty Boys.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) vs. Kurt Angle.  Earl Hebner is the referee, if you’re keeping score.  They start with great wrestling.  AJ leap frogs, ducks, and dropkicks.  Angle bails.  AJ teases a dive.  Angle avoids.  AJ kicks him and takes him out with a suicide dive.  Back into the ring.  A masked man attacks Styles.  Angle clotheslines the masked man out of the ring.  Angle helps AJ up and they continue wrestling.  Angle powerbombs Styles into the turnbuckle.  Insta-commercial.  They continue to be awesome.  They’re going all out tonight.  I’m glad somebody is.  Styles goes for the springboard forearm, but Angle catches him with a belly to belly.  More greatness.  AJ with a discus clothesline for 2.  Styles for the Styles Clash.  Angle catapults him into the turnbuckle and hits rolling Germans.  Angle counters the Pele into the ankle lock.  AJ rolls through into a cradle for 2.  Pele kick for 2.  More stuff.  Angle with the Angle Slam for 2.  Styles hits the springboard forearm, then goes up top.  Angle hits a suplex off the top for 2.  Angle goes for a frog splash.  AJ moves.  AJ hits the Styles Clash for 2.  Styles goes for a superplex.  Angle fights him off and hits a frog splash for 2.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Styles turns it into a DDT for 2.  Angle counters out of the Styles Clash and locks in the ankle lock.  Styles fights out.  Angle with a sick release German for 2.  AJ with the Phenomenon for 2.  Styles goes up top again.  Angle fights him and hits the Angle Slam off the top and STYLES KICKS OUT.  Angle applies the ankle lock again.  Styles rolls through and sends Angle into the turnbuckle.  Styles lands an enzuigiri and the Styles Clash for the 1, 2, ANGLE KICKS OUT.  Styles goes for the Clash again.  Angle turns it into the ankle lock and grapevines it.  Ric Flair walks out and watches from the stage.  AJ escapes the ankle lock and hits a backdrop suplex.  AJ hits the springboard 450, and ANGLE KICKS OUT AGAIN!  Insta-commercial.  Angle has Styles in a triangle choke.  AJ goes for the Clash again.  Angle locks in the ankle lock again.  Styles fights out again.  Flair randomly leaves.  AJ hits the Styles Clash.  Styles hits another springboard 450 for the victory (about 15 minutes shown).  Holy shit this match ruled.  Angle and Styles shake hands and hug after the match.  Hogan comes out to the stage and calls Styles and Angle the 2 greatest wrestlers alive today.  He continues to talk.  Somebody whispers in his ear that Mick Foley is in the back looking for him…

Mick Foley stomps around backstage.  He breaks into the Beautiful People/Val Venis poker game.  Val tells him where Hogan’s office is.  Foley finds Bischoff instead.  Bischoff tells Foley that he has no power, and he has to prove himself like everybody else.  Foley says he made peace with working for Dixie Carter, he could make peace with working for Hogan, but he would never work for Bischoff again.  Foley threatens to knock Bischoff’s teeth out.  Nash, Hall, and Waltman jump Foley.  Hogan looks on as the show ends.

Man, other than that one awesome match, this show sucked donkey dick.