Archive for Chris Von Erich

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/20/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

This is the 500th Episode of Smackdown and for whatever reason it is titled “Heartbreakers.”

Short video package of great Smackdown moments from years past, then a hype video for the Triple H/Randy Orton WrestleMania match that I will never care about.

Triple H heads to the ring to start the show.  Tonight, Shawn Michaels faces Kane.  Jim Ross and Tazz are on commentary and I think we’re in Corpus Christi, Texas.  Also tonight, Undertaker faces JBL!  Triple H cuts a boring promo.  Blah blah me and Steph are married blah blah Orton shouldn’t have hurt her blah blah I don’t care if you have diarrhea because you’re chicken shit blah blah I’m going to kill you at WrestleMania.  I fast forward a bit because I’m trying to finish this show before Raw starts at 8.

Non-Title: WWE Champion Triple H vs. Vladimir Kozlov.  Boring start.  Kozlov is strong, Triple H is clever.  Insta-commercial.  Triple H has Kozlov in the figure-four leglock, but Kozlov gets a break.  Kozlov beats up Triple H, Triple H makes a comeback.  Kozlov headbutts the turnbuckle.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree but gets backdropped out.  Triple H hits a spinebuster and the Pedigree to end this boring shit.  About 4 minutes shown.

Vickie/Edge/Big Show/Cena shit from Raw.  They’re all here TONIGHT!

WrestleMania 23 video.

WWE United States Championship Match: Shelton Benjamin (c) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  No entrances for a title match.  That’s shameful.  Back and forth action early on.  Shelton ducks a Yakuza kick, then Porter catches him with it anyway.  MVP hits the Ballin’ thing and gets a two count.  MVP ducks the Dragon Whip and goes for a suplex, but Shelton turns it into a neckbreaker.  MVP gets a near fall with a backslide out of nowhere.  Shelton hits a backbreaker and his old Exploder Powerslam finish, but MVP kicks out.  Shelton goes for the Paydirt,  but MVP hotshots him into the ropes and hits the Playmaker to win the title at 5:19.  They tried, but the match was slow and dragging.

12 Rounds hype.  Don’t get me started.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kane, tonight!  They show the Shawn/Undertaker stuff from Raw.

Vickie Guerrero and Edge argue backstage.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kane.  Michaels jumps on Kane to start, then Kane punches him in the face.  Awesome.  Kane beats up Shawn for a moment, then Shawn punches Kane a few times.  Kane whips Shawn into the turnbuckle.  Shawn does the Flair flip out of the ring.  Insta-commercial.  Kane has the advantage when we return.  Kane hits a swank low-altitude dropkick for a near fall.  Michaels takes the beating for a while, then makes his comeback.  Michaels counters the chokeslam and hits an inverted atomic drop.  Michaels drops the big elbow and may have been caught by Kane’s knee on the way down.  Kane hits the diving lariat.  Kane sets up for the chokeslam, but Michaels nails the superkick for the win.  About 8 minutes shown, and a shockingly decent match.  Kane normally sucks hard.

Vickie and Big Show are backstage.  Show and Edge want to hurt each other, or something like that.

12 Rounds commercial AGAIN.  Grr…

Hardy vs. Hardy at WrestleMania will be an Extreme Rules Match.  So will the next match here tonight.

Extreme Rules Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Brian Kendrick (w/ Ezekiel Jackson).  No entrance for Kendrick.  Jeff sends Zeke out, but gets jumped by Kendrick.  Hardy dives outside onto Zeke.  Zeke and Kendrick double team Hardy.  Hardy kills Zeke with a chair and chases Kendrick into the ring.  Kendrick uses his speed to beat up Jeff.  Jeff throws a chair at Kendrick, then uses it as a catapult for the Poetry In Motion.  Jeff, for some reason, does that Alley-Oop move Big Show used to do like 8 years ago.  Jeff hits the Twist of Fate on the chair, then the Swanton Bomb for the win at 3:33.  Poor Kendrick, he’s a total jobber now.

More Triple H/Orton and WrestleMania hype.

New Hall of Fame inductees: The Von Erich Family, to be inducted by Michael Hayes.

ANOTHER FUCKING 12 ROUNDS TRAILER.  I AM SO SICK OF THIS MOVIE.

Taker comes out.  Insta-commercial.  Taker cuts a promo on Michaels.  JBL comes out.  Ross announces that JBL vs. Rey Mysterio for the Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania is official.

Non-Title: The Undertaker vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion JBL.  Taker hammers JBL with punches.  JBL fights back.  Taker kicks JBL’s ass some more.  In other words, a back and forth brawl.  Insta-commercial, then Taker hits the LEG DROP ON THE APRON!  More brawling.  JBL works on Taker’s leg a bit and does a figure-four leglock of all things.  Takers sits up out of a pinning predicament and chokes JBL to make the escape.  JBL clips Taker’s leg and covers.  Well that makes no sense.  Taker comes back and hits snake eyes, big boot, and leg drop for a near fall, brother.  Taker goes for the chokeslam.  JBL escapes and hits the Clothesline From Hell and covers, but Taker kicks out.  Taker locks in the Gogoplata (called the Devil’s Gate this week) for the win (8:14 shown).  Alright match.

Cena, Edge, and Show are here tonight, and there’s not much time left, so I guess they’re going to do something NEXT!  Ah yes, Show and Edge are HEADED OUR WAY!

Big Show comes down and calls out Edge.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out and they yell at each other.  Vickie comes out and begs them to stop.  Vickie loves them both, so whoever wins at WrestleMania gets her.  She convinces them to call a truce and shake hands.  John Cena comes out.  He says he’ll win at WrestleMania, but doesn’t want Vickie.  He talks on for a while.  Edge thinks Vickie farting is cute.  Edge and Show argue some more and push each other.  Edge slaps Show.  Show goozles him and pushed down Vickie, then shoves Edge away and checks on Vickie.  Edge goes to spear Show, but accidentally spears Vickie instead.  Show picks Vickie up to carry her away and Show clips his knee.  Show chokeslams Edge and carries Vickie out.  This segment was about 12 years too long.

This is a prime example of how a show can look really good on paper and be really shitty in execution.