Archive for Carl Edwards

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/8/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, “Last week on Raw…,” Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our hosts, LIVE from the Cajundome in Lafayette, Louisiana!  Tonight, we’ll see DX defend the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship against The Miz Show and The Straight Edge Society!  Plus, we’ll see Batista destroy John Cena last week after Raw went off the air!

Tonight’s guest host, NASCAR’s Carl Edwards, does donuts in the parking lot, then drives into the arena.  Wait, it was Hornswoggle in the car.  The fuck?  Kelly Kelly introduces Carl Edwards.  Edwards comes out flanked by the Bella Twins.  He talks a bit, name dropping John Cena.  Sheamus interrupts.  Sheamus wants Edwards to make him the last entrant in the Elimination Chamber.  He threatens Edwards.  ECW Champion Christian makes a surprise appearance on Raw!  Christian schmoozes Edwards.  Sheamus wants to know why Christian is there.  Christian says ECW is about to go off the air, makes fun of Sheamus, and says when ECW ends, all ECW superstars can sign with any brand, so tonight he’s going to test the waters on Raw.  Christian wants a match with Sheamus tonight.  Edwards makes it for right now!

Non-Title: WWE Champion Sheamus vs. ECW Champion Christian.  They lock up.  Sheamus is aggressive early and hits a fall away slam, then clotheslines Christian out of the ring.  Commercials.  Sheamus continues working over Christian.  Christian runs into a shoulder block that drops him, but also makes Sheamus stumble.  Christian low bridges Sheamus out of the ring.  Christian takes out Sheamus with a dive to the outside.  Sheamus pulls Christian’s shoulder into the post, then sends him into the barricade.  Sheamus works Christian over back in the ring.  Christian rallies and hits a missile dropkick.  He keeps his comeback going until Sheamus catches him while he’s going for his diving sunset flip.  Christian avoids the pump kick but gets caught with a clothesline.  Christian avoids Sheamus in the corner and hits his weird kick, then a tornado DDT for 2.  Sheamus avoids the Killswitch and throws Christian to the apron.  Sheamus avoids Christian coming off the top and hits the pump kick followed by the Razor’s Edge for the pin in 9:43.  Good match.

Triple H is in the locker room watching a monitor.  Shawn Michaels comes in and says he found the silver lining to his recent woes: maybe DX will finally be a part of WrestleMania.  Triple H says that sounds good in theory, but he’s going to win the WWE Championship in the Elimination Chamber and go to WrestleMania as WWE Champion.  Michaels says “So it’s all about you now?” and leaves.

Next, exclusive footage of Batista destroying John Cena after Raw went off the air last week!

Slam of the Week: Last week, Bret Hart was about to put Vince McMahon in the Sharpshooter when Batista appeared and attacked Bret!

Cole and Lawler talk about what happened AFTER the show.  They show clips.  John Cena ran in for the save, but then Batista jumped Cena, kicked his ass, and powerbombed him onto the ring steps.

Ted Dibiase is backstage.  Cody Rhodes comes in.  He’s jealous that Dibiase qualified for the Elimination Chamber and he didn’t.  They start to bicker.  Randy Orton comes in and tells Dibiase that he’ll be facing John Cena tonight, then bitches at Cody for getting him DQ’d at the Rumble.  Orton tells Rhodes that they’ll be facing off tonight.  Legacy is falling apart.

The Straight Edge Society is headed our way for the Tag title match! plug.

Justin Roberts introduces the Unified Tag Team Championship Match!

The Straight Edge Society comes out first.  Smackdown GM Teddy Long is randomly sitting at ringside.  Punk cuts his usual promo.  He tries to recruit Jared Fogle, the Subway guy, who is at ringside, to be his “minister of propaganda.”  Jared says no.  Punk says he’s going to make an example out of him.  Before anything can develop from that, DX comes out.  Miz and Show come out, and everybody brawls.  DX clears the ring and throws Miz out onto the pile.  Commercials, which means the match will be JIP, which pisses me off because I won’t be able to get the match time.

Triple Threat Elimination Match for the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship: DX (c) vs. CM Punk & Luke Gallows (w/ Serena) vs. The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz.  The match is indeed JIP.  Punk and Michaels go at it.  Punk hits the knee to the corner and the bulldog for 2.  Show beats up both of them.  They avoid Show in the corner and tag in their respective partners.  Triple H and Gallows double team Show, but that quickly falls apart.  Triple H hits the knee facebuster and goes for the Pedigree, but Show backdrops him out of the ring.  Gallows tags Punk.  More commercials.  Ugh.  Punk, Hunter, and Miz are legal.  Punk covers both guys, but gets no pins.  Punk and Miz both beat on Triple H, but Triple H drops them both, turning Miz inside out with a clothesline in the process.  Punk gets a near fall on Miz.  Miz hits the running clothesline to the corner on Triple H and goes up top, but Serena pulls him down.  Miz goes after Serena, but gets caught by a Triple H spinebuster.  Michaels tags in and runs wild on Punk.  Michaels hits the diving elbow and goes for the superkick, but Gallows kills him with a lariat.  Triple H takes Gallows out of the ring.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep, but Michaels counters and superkicks Punk for the pin.  Well, the guys who should have won just lost.  Show clotheslines DX, then stands over Michaels and gloats.  Michaels gets up and throws chops at Show.  Show headbutts him down.  Miz kicks Michaels in the head behind the referee’s back.  Michaels plays face in peril for a while, then superkicks Show and makes the hot tag.  Triple H runs wild on Miz.  “VINTAGE TRIPLE H!”  Michaels tags himself back in.  Miz shoves Michaels into Hunter, then pins Michaels with a reverse cradle (about 14 minutes shown).  Wow, Miz has 3 belts now.  DX argues.  Michaels leaves.

Cena vs. Dibiase and Orton vs. Rhodes TONIGHT!

Moments ago, all the shit I just wrote about happened.

Josh Matthews interviews the new Tag Team Champions.  Miz likes the name “The Miz Show.”  Show prefers “Show Miz.”  I like Show Miz.

Cole and Lawler hype Elimination Chamber.  Lawler fucks up by saying Cody Rhodes is in the Raw Chamber instead of Dibiase.

Michaels bumps into Carlito and Alicia Fox while looking for Teddy Long.  He finds Teddy and begs him to trade him to Smackdown and put him on the Smackdown Chamber match so he can win it and face Undertaker at WrestleMania.  Teddy says he can’t do it.  Michaels grabs Teddy.  Triple H stops him tries to talk some sense into him.  Michaels says his career is over, then superkicks Teddy and leaves.  I love crazy Shawn Michaels, randomly superkicking people.

WWE Rewind: 2 weeks ago, Gail Kim defeated Alicia Fox to make it to the finals of the Divas Championship Tournament.

Moments ago, Shawn Michaels superkicked Teddy Long, and it was awesome!

Maryse is at ringside to do commentary for…

Gail Kim vs. Jillian Hall.  No intros.  Jillian sends Gail outside, back in, near fall.  Gail avoids Hall in the corner, but gets tripped up.  Gail rallies and hits her finish for the pin in 1:03.  Maryse congratulates Gail, reiterates what she said last week, then speaks French.  They shake hands.

The first inductee into the Hall of Fame Class of 2010, “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase.

Dibiase’s son will be in action tonight against John Cena.  Next, Cody Rhodes takes on Randy Orton!

Bullshit WWE Fact of the Week.

Carl Edwards and Jared Fogle are backstage.  Santino Marella comes in and tries to sing the 5 Dollar Footlong song.  Jared gives Santino a Subway gift card.  Santino wants revenge on Swagger for keeping him out of the Royal Rumble.  Edwards makes the match for this week’s Superstars.  Kofi Kingston comes in.  Kofi recommends that all Elimination Chamber participants have singles matches next week.  Edwards leaves that for next week’s host: Jerry Springer!  They show a video of Springer with clips from his show.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton.  Orton shoves Rhodes and yells at him.  Rhodes slaps his hand away.  Orton decks him.  Rhodes hits a dropkick for 2.  They lock up and go at it.  Orton gets ready to go for the RKO, but Sheamus comes out and distracts Orton.  Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin in 2:47.  Sheamus nails Orton with the pump kick after the match.  Rhodes comes in with a chair to chase off Sheamus.

They show Batista’s post Raw assault on Cena again.  Cena is headed our way!

Josh Matthews interviews Carl Edwards, who announces that next week we’ll see Sheamus vs. Randy Orton, Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Kofi Kingston, and Triple H vs. John Cena.

Ted Dibiase Jr. comes out for the main event.  John Cena comes out and destroys him before the match ever starts and locks him in the STF at ringside.  Cena calls out Batista.  Commercials.  Dante’s Inferno commercial.  Such an awesome game.

John Cena is still in the ring.  He speculates that Batista attacked him because Vince McMahon put a hit on him.  Vince comes out, flanked by security.  Cena says Vince didn’t bring enough security.  He’ll just kick their asses and get angrier.  Vince gets in the ring.  They banter.  Vince says maybe Batista just doesn’t like Cena, because Vince doesn’t like him, or people from Louisiana.  Vince has a point there… Vince says he likes Cena business-wise.  Cena yells at Vince for being all about money, then says Bret Hart wants to wrestle Vince at WrestleMania.  Cena steps out of the ring.  They argue some more.  Vince says he’ll face Bret at WrestleMania.  Cena says he has one person left to tell.  Cena leaves.  Vince addresses Bret Hart.  They show the video from last week again.  Bret appears and kicks Vince’s ass.  Vince bails up the ramp where he’s protected by his security guard.  Vince says he won’t face Bret at WrestleMania and Bret deserved to be screwed.  Vince leaves.  Bret destroys some production equipment and huffs around the ring to end the show.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/1/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2010 by Grappleholic

In Memory of Jack Brisco (1941-2010) graphic opens the broadcast.

WWE open, Raw open.  Tonight, Bret Hart confronts Mr. McMahon!  Also, William Shatner guest hosts!  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our hosts.

Justin Roberts introduces the winner of the 2010 Royal Rumble Match, Edge!  Edge says he’s back, and in the main event at WrestleMania.  He goes on at length about his injury, his beef with Chris Jericho, etc.  He talks about the possibilities for his WrestleMania opponent.  As he finishes his promo, the WWE Champion, Sheamus comes out to the ring.  They banter back and forth.  Sheamus cheap shots Edge and sets up for the pump kick, but Edge ducks, double leg takedown, beats the hell out of him, then spears him.

Shot of Nashville.

Elimination Chamber hype video.  Tonight, we’ll see Qualifying Matches!

John Cena is headed our way!

Bullshit WWE fact of the week.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes clubbers Cena to start.  Cena avoids a knee drop and starts his comeback, but Rhodes turns the spinny backdrop into a reverse cradle for 2.  Cena finishes his comeback.  Rhodes avoids the Attitude Adjustment and hits a front suplex for 2.  Rhodes hits a moonsault for 2.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment for the pin in 2:52.

Clips of the Montreal Screwjob from 1997.

Josh Matthews asks Mr. McMahon if he’s seen Bret Hart here tonight.  Vince says he doesn’t think Bret will show up.  Vince goes into his office and bitches at someone offscreen.  The camera pans left to reveal William Shatner, who says he can’t wait for Bret to embarrass McMahon tonight.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Jack Swagger vs. Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Triple H.  Triple H comes out without the belts, just to make sure we know the tag titles don’t matter.  Swagger starts with some amateur-style mat work.  He does some push ups and poses, then Triple H kicks his ass.  Triple H sends Swagger out of the ring and into the barricade.  Commercials.  Swagger drops Triple H with a DDT for 2.  Swagger keeps up the momentum and goes for abdominal stretch, but Triple H hip tosses him, then throws him out of the ring again.  Swagger hits a powerslam and clamps on a headlock.  Triple H comes back and hits a spinebuster for 2.  Swagger backdrops out of the Pedigree and hits the springboard Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Swagger lifts Triple H up on his shoulder, but fucks around about it too long and allows Triple H to counter him and hit the Pedigree for the pin in 9:09.  Good little match.

NEXT, Randy Orton takes on Shawn Michaels in a Qualifying Match!

Royal Rumble highlight video.

William Shatner does spoken word renditions of WWE entrance themes.  Funny stuff.

Shawn Michaels is sullen and downtrodden.  Triple H comes in, followed by Hornswoggle.  Triple H: “He did what with my music?”  Triple H teases being mad at Michaels, then says he would have done the same things to Michaels given the opportunity last night.  Shawn’s too upset for levity.  Triple H tells him to get over this whole Undertaker business and get himself in the Elimination Chamber.

Randy Orton makes his entrance.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Orton vs. Sheamus from the Royal Rumble and the disintegration of Legacy.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Randy Orton vs. Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Shawn Michaels.  Michaels also buries the tag titles but not bothering to bring them out with him.  They lock up.  Orton backs Michaels into the corner, breaks, and they stare at each other.  Lock up again.  Michaels throws some chops and drops Orton with a neckbreaker.  Michaels goes for an early superkick, but Orton bails.  Looks like he might have hurt his face.  Orton gets back in and goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Michaels counters.  Michaels hits a diving cross body for 2.  Orton hits the 3.0.  Cole brings up Michaels’ history of back injuries.  Orton stomps Michaels.  Orton hits a high dropkick for 2.  Orton attempts a superplex, but Michaels punches him down and hits the diving elbow drop.  “VINTAGE MICHAELS!”  Orton avoids the superkick, Michaels avoids the RKO.  Michaels hits some inverted atomic drops, the flying forearm, and nips up.  Orton schoolboys Michaels for the pin in 6:38.  Good little match.  Michaels is angry.

More clips of the history between Vince and Bret.  The confrontation is TONIGHT!

WrestleMania hype video.

A shot of some music club in Nashville.

Cole and Lawler talk about Shawn Michaels’ woes.

Randy Orton meets up with Ted Dibiase backstage.  Dibiase congratulates him, then apologizes about last night.  Orton just gives him a creepy glare.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Mark Henry vs. Ted Dibiase Jr.  They lock up.  Henry overpowers Dibiase.  Well what did you expect?  Henry drops Dibiase repeatedly and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Dibiase wraps Henry’s arm around the post, then drop toe holds him into the steps.  Back inside, Dibiase goes after the arm.  Cover gets 2.  Dibiase goes for a cross body, but Henry catches him.  Dibiase manages to avoid getting squashed and hurts the arm again.  Dibiase goes for the Dream Street, but fails.  Dibiase hits an armbreaker for the pin in 3:05.

Kofi Kingston takes on The Big Show in the final qualifying match, tonight!

Cole and Lawler introduce a very nice Jack Brisco tribute video.

WWE Slam of the Week: Last Monday, Gail Kim defeated Alicia Fox to advance to the finals of the Divas Championship Tournament.

Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly are talking.  Maryse interrupts.  They talk a bit, then Maryse speaks French.  Gail and Kelly agree that it was weird.

The Miz and Big Show are talking in Shatner’s office.  They want Shatner to give them a tag title shot.  The Straight Edge Society comes in.  Punk and Gallows want their title shot too.  Shatner comes in as “Raw Match Negotiator.”  Shatner books DX vs. Show & Miz vs. Punk & Gallows for the titles next week, plugs Priceline, then tries to freeze frame, to the confusion of everyone else there.

Triple H tells Shawn Michaels to chill and forget about the whole Undertaker business.  Michaels won’t.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kofi Kingston vs. The Big Show.  The United States Champion, The Miz, comes out to join Cole and Lawler on commentary.  Kofi tries throwing kicks at Show’s legs, but Show throws him around.  Kofi manages to sucker Show into crotching himself on the top rope, then dropkicks him off of the apron.  Commercials.  During the break, Show speared Kofi and set to work mauling him.  Show sends Kofi to the outside.  Miz leaves the announce table to taunt him.  MVP jumps the barricade and kicks Miz’s ass.  Show picks Kofi up by the head and puts him on the apron.  Kofi pulls him across the top rope and tries a dive, but fucks it up.  Kofi rallies, ducks a clothesline, and hits Show with some kicks.  Boom Drop gets 2.  Show goes for a chokeslam, but Kofi thumbs him in the eye.  Show accidentally KO punches the referee.  Show disposes of Kofi and tries to take up the ref.  Referee Scott Armstrong comes out and DQ’s Show at 8:18.  Show is upset by this.  He yells that it was an accident.

Clips of the January 4 Bret/Vince confrontation.  Their next confrontation is NEXT!

Shot of Nashville.  They confirm that Kofi Kingston has qualified for the Elimination Chamber.

NASCAR Driver Carl Edwards guest hosts next week!  Plug for the Tag title match.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to introduce William Shatner.  Shatner comes out flanked by the Bella Twins.  Shatner trips on the rope and knocks Lawler down.  They agree that they’re okay.  Shatner introduces Bret Hart.  Bret talks a bit, then calls out Vince McMahon.  Vince struts his way to the ring.  Vince says he doesn’t regret anything he’s done to Bret.  Bret says that’s the first true thing Vince has said to him, and lists some of the times Vince has lied to him.  They go back and forth for a bit.  Vince says Bret is pathetic and has no personality.  My DVD stops because I didn’t account for such a long overrun when I set my recorder.  Off to YouTube to find the rest of the segment!  Vince says Bret deserved to be screwed and he’s not going to put Bret’s father into the Hall of Fame because he doesn’t deserve it.  Bret kicks Vince’s ass.  Bret teases putting Vince in the Sharpshooter, but Batista appears, gently grabs Bret’s head, and lightly punches him.  Crowd wants Cena to make the save, but he’s nowhere to be found.  Batista holds Bret so Vince can spit on him.  Gross.  Fin.

Good show all in all, but my DVD going out before the last segment was over sucked.