Archive for Brother Ray

TNA iMPACT! 1/6/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 5, 2011 by Grappleholic

Video package of recent goings on.

“Genesis… The Beginning… Or the End?”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Immortal come to the ring: Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, AJ Styles, Beer Money, Kazarian, Rob Terry, Abyss, Jeff Jarrett, Gunner, and Murphy.  Bischoff blathers about how Immortal are going to win all the titles fair and square.  He brings out the champions: TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal, TNA World Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns, and TNA World Television Champion Doug Williams.  He books them in “tune up matches” tonight: Lethal vs. Abyss, Williams vs. Terry, and the Guns vs. Styles & Kazarian.  Bischoff asks them to shake hands.  Immortal jump the champions.  Bischoff pretends to be mad at them.  Rob Van Dam comes out and makes the save.  By himself.  He’s pissed off and wants a shot at Jeff Hardy.  He wants to know who his opponent is at Genesis.  Bischoff won’t tell him.  What a dick!  RVD offers to beat it out of him.  Bischoff says Abyss will “kill” RVD.

Brother Ray cuts a promo to the camera at Brother Devon.  He wants to fight in the parking lot or something.  Commercials!

Jeff Jarrett: MMA Specialist video package.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Jeff Jarrett comes out with Gunner, Murphy, and his other geeks.  He’s now changed into his gear, even though he was in street clothes 4 minutes ago.  He talks about the new rules he made last week to protect him from getting his ass kicked.  There’s some Twilight queer in the crowd.  Boo Boo Stewart?  Jarrett won’t fight him because he will be taller than him one day.  They pick a guy who looks like a midget Tyler Black.  His name is Jonathan Cruz.  He signs the contract.  He’s an idiot.

MMA Exhibition: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Jonathan Cruz.  Jarrett beats up the geek and wins with the ankle lock in 45 seconds.  Jarrett refuses to break the hold.  KURT ANGLE comes in through the crowd and chases Jarrett away.  Angle signs the contract to face Jarrett at Genesis!  Jarrett says Angle swore to never wrestle in TNA again.  Angle says it’s an exhibition.  It’s ON!  Commercials!

Moments ago, ^ happened!

Non-Title: AJ Styles & Kazarian vs. TNA World Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns.  Guns attack, clear the ring, and hit Styles and Kazarian with a double suicide dive.  Guns double team Styles back inside.  The heels cut off Sabin and work him over.  Sabin plays face in peril, then rallies and drops Kazarian with a lariat.  Shelley and Styles tag in.  Shelley runs wild and avoids being double teamed.  He takes Kazarian out with a dive.  Back inside, Styles and Shelley do an awesome countering sequence.  Shelley hits a brainbuster.  Kazarian saves.  Shelley back body drops him to the floor.  Styles tries to hit Shelley with the belt.  Shelley ducks.  Sabin superkicks Styles.  Shelley hits the Shiranui on Styles for the pin in 4:47.  Good little match.  Beer Money appear and beat down the Guns.  Eric Bischoff comes out and looks pissed off at Styles.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero bitches about how someone has been following him around with a camera.  He says he’s going to find them and demand an apology.  Yeah, kick that TNA camera man’s ass!  Commercials.

Eric Bischoff at Ric Flair bitch at AJ Styles in the office.  Bischoff tells him to get the job done this Sunday or else!

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is in the ring.  He calls out whoever is video taping him.  Samoa Joe comes out.  Is Joe a paparazzi now?  Joe spouts off some philosophical stuff about Pope being a false prophet or something.  He talks about how Pope pretends to be doing good deeds, but he’s actually a dick.  Pope defends his going to strip clubs and adopting puppies.  He warns Joe against falsely accusing him again.  This is stupid.

Mickie James & Velvet Sky are headed our way!  Commercials!

Brother Devon says he’ll go fight Ray in the parking lot tonight.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne & Sarita (w/ Tara) vs. Mickie James & Velvet Sky.  Velvet attacks Sarita.  Velvet tries, but everything she does looks horrible.  Velvet gets cut off via heel chicanery and plays face in peril.  This goes on for some time and is very uninteresting.  Velvet makes a comeback, but Madison cuts her off.  Mickie comes in and kicks Madison’s ass.  As the referee tries to regain control, Tara hits Velvet with the elbow brace.  Sarita pins Velvet in 4:34.  This sucked.

RVD bitches at Eric Bischoff in the office.  Bischoff says he has a match tonight.  Against another mystery opponent.  Commercials.

Non-Title: Rob Terry vs. TNA World Television Champion Douglas Williams.  Williams smoothly eludes the larger Terry.  Terry finally connects with a shoulder block that sends Williams to the floor.  AJ Styles attacks Williams to cause the DQ in 1:10.  Lame.  Styles and Terry injure Williams’ hand.

Brother Ray is going to the parking lot.  Commercials.

Brother Ray and Brother Ray are in the parking lot now.  Ray hides behind security and talks shit.  Of course, this goes on way too long.  Bubba finally attacks Devon while security is holding him back.  He warns Devon against showing up at Genesis.

Jeff Jarrett tells Eric Bischoff that he has a plan for Sunday.  Bischoff asks Jarrett to shoot RVD.  Jarrett is worried about Kurt Angle interfering.  Bischoff makes him feel better by making it No DQ.  Huh?

Non-Title: Abyss vs. TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal.  Entrances, commercials, bell.  At least they waited for me.  Lethal tries to take down Abyss and fails miserably.  Abyss tries to throw Lethal around and succeeds magnificently.  Lethal uses his speed to try to gain the upperhand.  He kicks Abyss in the leg and lands a dropkick.  Abyss tries to chokeslam him.  Lethal hits a handspring elbow.  He finally knocks Abyss down with a missile dropkick for 2.  Abyss catches Lethal with the Black Hole Slam.  Cover, but Abyss pulls Lethal up at 2.  Abyss beats on Lethal in the corner.  The ref DQs him in 3:27.  Lame.  Abyss shoves down the referee.  Continuing tonight’s trend, Kazarian comes down.  He pretends to beg Abyss to stop beating up Lethal.  He taunts Lethal, asking him to stand up.  Abyss holds Lethal up and forces him to shake Kazarian’s hand.

Up next, Mike Tenay’s sit down interview with Matt Morgan and Mr. Anderson!  Commercials.

Genesis hype.

Mike Tenay’s sit down interview with Matt Morgan and Mr. Anderson.  Same ol’ shit.

RVD vs. Jeff Jarrett is NEXT!  Commercials!

No DQ Match: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Rob Van Dam.  To the best of my knowledge, this is the first time these two have ever wrestled.  Tenay says it’s true, which means I’m probably wrong.  Jarrett runs around in circles like a geek.  RVD and the referee both insist that some contact be made.  Jarrett throws a kick.  RVD catches it and drops Jarrett with his “kick over the kick” move and does the “Rob Van Dam” thumb point.  Jarrett pokes RVD in the eye.  RVD drops him with another kick.  RVD beats up Jarrett in the corner.  RVD hits a springboard kick and goes for the Rolling Thunder.  Jarrett bails and runs around the ring.  RVD decks Jarrett again.  Murphy trips RVD, allowing Jarrett to get the advantage.  Jarrett applies a sleeper hold.  RVD escapes and makes his comeback.  One of the geeks runs in.  RVD throws him out of the ring and brings in a chair.  Other geeks run in.  RVD kicks their asses.  Gunner and Murphy beat down RVD and hold him for Jarrett.  Jarrett tells them to let him go.  RVD drops all of them with kicks.  TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy appears and gives RVD the Twist of Hate.  Jarrett gets the pin in 5:26.  Lame and overbooked.  Jarrett and Hardy beat down RVD.  Matt Morgan runs in to make the save.  Hardy tries to hit him with a chair.  Mr. Anderson appears, grabs the chair, and accidentally hits Morgan.  Oh noes!  Was it REALLY an accident?

As crappy as this show was, they’ve done WAY worse.

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TNA iMPACT! 12/30/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 17, 2011 by Grappleholic

The usual video package of recent happenings.

“The Con Game?”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Mick Foley comes out and calls out Ken Anderson.  Anderson comes out.  They talk about visiting wounded soldiers with Miss America.  They bicker about whether or not Anderson should wrestle.  Anderson’s concussion was like 2 months ago.  I’m sure he’s fine now.  He says he’s fine and he’s been cleared.  I’m sure he has.  I wish they’d be done with this stupid story already.  Matt Morgan comes out.  Morgan accuses Anderson  of trying to con him.  I don’t get it.  They bicker.  Anderson wants to fight now.  Foley gets between them.  TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy comes out.  Apparently he has booking power now, because he announces that Anderson and Morgan will be on opposing sides of a tag match with mystery partners tonight.

Backstage, Eric Young is dressed as Father Time, but he thinks he’s Moses.  Orlando Jordan is Baby New Year.  Jordan still thinks they’re gay and Young still thinks they’re a tag team.  Stupid.

Tonight, Sarita vs. Velvet Sky in Strap Match!  Double J Double M A Challenge!  Anderson & ? vs. Morgan & ?!

Robert Roode (w/ James Storm) vs. TNA World Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin (w/ TNA World Tag Team Champion Alex Shelley).  They lock up and trade arm locks.  That’s always a fine way to start.  Roode grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Sabin hits arm drags and wrenches Roode’s arm.  Sabin sends Roode outside and hits a cross body off the top rope to the floor.  Back inside, Sabin tries to springboard.  Roode counters him and hits a modified Samoan drop for 2.  Roode chokes Sabin with his boot.  Sabin gets a sunset flip for 2.  Roode hits a clothesline that Sabin does a 360 bump for.  Cover gets 2.  Roode applies a rear chin lock.  Sabin escapes and makes his comeback.  Sabin hits a diving rana and a springboard lariat for 2.  Roode gets a sunset flip for 2.  Sabin turns it into a Gedo Clutch like move for 2.  Sabin hits an enzuigiri.  Cover, but Storm grabs the referee’s foot.  Nothing comes of that.  Sabin goes for the springboard tornado DDT, but Roode counters and hits the spinebuster for the pin in 6:04.  Good match.

Rob Van Dam talks to no one in particular.  He’s headed our way.

Eric Young sits on Orlando Jordan’s lap backstage.  He doesn’t understand why he’s doing it.  Shark Boy comes in and begs for TV time.  He drinks beer so he can be sit on Jordan’s lap.  Stupid shit.

Rob Van Dam comes out and bitches about Eric Bischoff.  He has a mystery opponent tonight.  He says it doesn’t matter, he’ll keep going through people until he gets Jeff Hardy.  The Shore tard is his mystery opponent.  Ugh.

Rob Van Dam vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie).  Robbie jerks off the air like a retard.  RVD does his thumb pointing gimmick and kicks the idiot in the chest.  RVD beats up the Shore tard.  RVD goes for the Rolling Thunder, but Cookie grabs his foot.  Robbie gets heat on RVD, which is absurd.  RVD rallies and hits the springboard kick and a Rolling Thunder splash.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 2:14.  At least that tard is getting jobbed out now.  Jeff Hardy appears on the screen.  He says he’ll face RVD if RVD beats his chosen mystery opponent at Genesis.  I’m calling Matt Hardy.

Still to come, Anderson & ? vs. Morgan & ?!

Kazarian and some bimbos are headed our way!

Sarita talks shit about Velvet Sky to the camera.

Kazarian comes out and cuts a promo.  They show clips of the video from a few months ago where Jay Lethal visited his family.  Kazarian talks shit about them being poor.  He makes some borderline racist remarks and talks shit about Lethal’s mother.  TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal comes out to kick Kazarian’s ass.  Kazarian immediately whacks him with an object.  When was the last time they actually tried to promote an X Division title match?

Mick Foley is walking around backstage!

Mick Foley walks into the office to talk to Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair.  He’s still upset about Anderson’s brain and wants to know who the partners are going to be in the mystery tag match.  He says he’ll be at ringside tonight.

Strap Match: Velvet Sky vs. Sarita.  Sarita, having just cut a promo about how she was looking forward to the strap match, doesn’t want to strap up.  The referee makes her.  Sarita bails, but SHE’S TIED TO HER OPPONENT BY THE FUCKING STRAP.  Velvet pulls her back.  Sarita whips her.  They do the usual strap match bullshit.  The strap comes untied from Sarita.  The referee secures it back.  Velvet whips Sarita and chokes her with the strap.  Velvet drags Sarita around and touches 3 corners.  Sarita touches them too.  Sarita throws Velvet over and touches the last corner to win in 2:59.  This was awful.  Sarita attacks Velvet again after the match.  Angelina Love makes the save.

Back to the freak party.  Brian Kendrick has joined Young, Jordan, and Shark Boy.  Young waves a stick around like a moron.  Jordan berates him for “poking other guys with his staff.”  Everyone, even Jordan, wants women to show up.

Still to come, Double J Double M A Challenge!  The mystery partners match!

During the break, Velvet Sky threw a fit and stormed to the back.

Now, Angelina Love attacks Sarita backstage.  I guess it’s time for our weekly long, boring women’s brawl.  Winter saves Love from Sarita, even though Love started it.  Winter consoles Love.

Still to come, the mystery partners match!

2010 year in review/2011 hype video.

Double J Double M A Challenge is NEXT!

Doug Williams is in a tag match tonight, but has no partner.  That’s like a plague in TNA.  Brutus Magnus volunteers to be his partner.  The British Invasion is BACK!

Jeff Jarrett comes out with Gunner, Murphy, and his other geeks to do the MMA thing.  Amazing Red agreed to bring his “baby brother” this week.  Red comes out alone.  Jarrett agrees to stand on his knees and give Red’s brother the first shot.  A big, jacked up, tattooed dude comes out.

$100,000 MMA Challenge: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Amazing Red’s Baby Brother (w/ Amazing Red).  Jarrett tries to click.  That fails.  He tries again.  Big Red takes Jarrett down with a Fujiwara armbar, but Jarrett was in the ropes.  Big Red gets a knee lock.  Another rope break.  These people don’t know how MMA works.  Jarrett gets off his ass and beats up Big Red.  He goes for the ankle lock, but Big Red reverses it.  Gunner and Murphy pull Jarrett out of the ring.  Red beats up the little one.  The ref throws it out in 2:03.  Jarrett tries to use the guitar, but Amazing Red takes it from him and smashes it.  Jarrett bails and has Gunner and Murphy pretend to hold him back.  This was retarded.

Still to come, mystery partners tag match.  Next, AJ Styles & Rob Terry against the reunited British Invasion.

Jeff Jarrett complains to Eric Bischoff.  From now on, his fights will be against shorter opponents and they’ll only be exhibitions.  What’s the point of that?  They’re also just now going to start having people sign waivers.  This company is so fucking retarded.

AJ Styles & Rob Terry vs. TNA World Television Champion Douglas Williams & Magnus.  Styles grabs Magnus in a side headlock.  Magnus give him a hip toss, then wrenches his arm.  Styles rakes Magnus’ eyes and demands that Williams tag in.  Williams obliges.  Styles immediately tags in Terry.  Terry beats up Williams.  Styles tags in and goes for the Styles Clash, but Williams counters.  Styles immediately tags back out.  Terry beats up Williams some more.  Styles comes in to pick up the scraps again.  Williams avoids Styles in the corner and hits an Exploder.  Magnus gets the tag and runs wild on Styles.  Magnus hits a running powerslam.  Terry saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Styles sends Williams outside.  Styles hits the Chaos Theory on Magnus for the pin in 4:55.  It was okay.

Madison Rayne is DRESSED UP and headed our way.

Generation Me and Tara join the freak party backstage.  Jordan hits on Tara.  A fight breaks out.  Ugh.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne comes out in a gown with some dudes in suits.  I predict that this segment will be pointless and horrible.  She makes So Cal Val hand her a microphone, then talks in her obnoxious, nails on a chalkboard voice.  She talks shit about Mickie James.  Mickie comes out and kicks her ass.  Madison gets her dress ripped off and tries to act like she’s self conscious about being in her underwear.

Mystery partners tag match is next!

“The  Pope” D’Angelo Dinero talks to a guy about adopting pit bull puppies for poor children.  Ugh.

Mick Foley comes out to do commentary on the main event.

Ken Anderson & Brother Ray vs. Matt Morgan & Brother Devon.  Devon and Anderson start.  Devon wants Ray, but Ray pussies out and drops off the apron.  Eric Bischoff comes out and sends Gunner and Murphy after Foley.  Ray jumps Devon from behind in the ring.  Anderson and Devon do some stuff.  Foley decks Gunner and Murphy and puts Mr. Socko on the little one.  End of show.  Awful shit.

TNA ends the year in typical fashion: with a fucking horrible pro wrestling show.

TNA Slammiversary 2009 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling, Cross The Line!  Cool opening music video.  Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to the Palace of Auburn Hills for the 7th Anniversary of TNA!  We’re kicking things off tonight with the X Division Championship!

It’s a King of the Mountain Ladder Match.  If you don’t know what that is, it’s basically a reverse ladder match where you have to hang the belt up to win.  You have to win a fall by pin or submission to eligible to hang the belt, and if you get pinned or submit, you have to spend 2 minutes in the penalty box.  Simple enough, right?  Curtis Granderson from the Detroit Tigers is the special guest belt holder for this match.

King of the Mountain Ladder Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Suicide (c) vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal vs. IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champion Alex Shelley vs. Consequences Creed vs. IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin.  The Motor City Machine Guns and Lethal Consequences all want to unmask Suicide, so it’s 4 on 1 to start.  Being just outside of Detroit, the crowd is very pro-Guns.  Suicide pins Lethal about 2 minutes in after nailing everyone with the ladder, so he’s eligible.  Guns and Creed triple team Suicide while Lethal waits it out in the penalty box.  Suicide either botches a monkey flip or hits a revere lung blower on Shelley for a pin, so Shelley is sent to the penalty box while Lethal is released.  Sabin throws a chair at Suicide.  Lethal hits a Lethal Combination on Suicide onto the chair.  Lethal and Sabin fight over who is going to make the cover.  All 3 guys pile up on Suicide and pin him.  Lethal was on bottom, so he is the one who is eligible.  Guns and Lethal Consequences dance, then the Guns attack them.  Guns show their usual awesome teamwork against Lethal Consequences.  Sabin is knocked to the outside, then Creed gets a pin on Shelley after the TKO.  Suicide is released as Shelley is sent back to the box.  Lethal Consequences double team Suicide.  Sabin comes back in and goes for the Cradle Shock on Suicide, but gets counter and monkey flipped onto a ladder.  Lethal holds Suicide on the outside for Creed to hit a somersault plancha.  Suicide, Lethal, and Creed fight up the aisle.  Sabin runs up the ladder to the box and hits a dive onto all 3 of them.  That was awesome.  Shelley is released and starts climbing the ladder, even though he doesn’t have the belt and isn’t eligible anyway.  Sabin lets Shelley pin him.  Shelley goes up with the belt, but Suicide hits a missile dropkick on the ladder.  Creed whips Suicide face first into the ladder.  Lethal balances on the ladder, which is set up on the turnbuckle.  Suicide front suplexes Creed onto the ladder, which slingshots Lethal into a nasty bump.  Sabin is released from the box and pins Lethal after a sick tornado DDT.  Everyone is eligible to hang the belt now.  Creed hits a move on Lethal, then Shelley hits a move on Creed.  Suicide hits a jumping DDT on Shelley.  Sabin hits the Cradle Shock on Suicide, then tries to hang the belt.  Suicide stops him.  Sabin takes him out and goes for it again, but Lethal makes it back in and backdrops him off the ladder.  Shelley hits a frog splash on Lethal, then superkicks Suicide.  Shelley lays out the ladder between the ring and the barricade.  Creed lands a kick on Shelley to send him out of the ring, then slams Suicide.  Lethal goes up top, but Sabin stops him.  Suicide dropkicks Sabin off the apron and onto the ladder.  Shelley hits a dive onto Suicide that the camera misses.  Lethal hits an elbow onto Sabin, who was still lying across the ladder.  “THIS IS AWESOME” chants.  Shelley and Creed fight on the apron.  Shelley lands a superkick, then the Shiranui on the apron.  Ouch.  Suicide and Shelley trade shots.  Shelley goes for the Shiranui off the cage, but Suicide counters and dropkicks him over the guardrail.  Suicide gets the belt and hangs up the ladder.  Crowd is booing him.  Lethal pushes the ladder over, but Suicide catches the ropes with the Captain Morgan pose and goes to the top of the box.  Shenanigans ensue and the ladder ends up being set up horizontally over the box and Lethal’s back.  Shelley sets up another ladder and goes for it, but Suicide jumps off the horizontal ladder and takes him down with a neckbreaker, then hangs the belt for the win at 23:28.  Really good match.  The lights go out and Suicide disappears.  I wish he’d disappear for good.

Tenay and West run down the rest of the card.

Lauren Brooke says Team 3D haven’t arrived back from Japan yet, then interviews Shane Douglas, followed by a Daniels/Douglas video package.  If Douglas beats Daniels, he gets Daniels’ spot on the roster.  If Douglas loses, he leaves.

“The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. The Daniels formerly known as Christopher.  What the hell happened to Daniels’ first name anyway?  Douglas wrestles in a t-shirt.  Daniels works a headlock.  Douglas bails.  Daniels teases a dive, which Douglas avoids, but Daniels hits the split-legged moonsault.  Douglas works on Daniels’ arm.  Daniels gets a rope break and makes his comeback.  Daniels thinks BME, but Douglas stops him with a kick to the head.  They trade shots.  Douglas goes for the belly to belly, but Daniels drops him with an STO and hits the BME for the win at 8:14.  This wasn’t long enough to be offensive, thankfully.

Jeremy Borash interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Mick Foley.  Foley thinks Jeff Jarrett is going to help him retain the title for some reason.

Love/Tara video package.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Angelina Love (c) (w/ Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) vs. Tara.  Tara is Victoria, for anyone who doesn’t know.  Love shows off a little bit, then Tara kicks her ass.  Love bails.  Tara teases a dive, then dropkicks her into the barricade.  The other Beautiful People attack Tara from behind, then throw her back in the ring.  Love schoolgirls her for a quick 2.  Love gets heat on her for a bit, including more interference from Sky and Rayne at ringside.  Tara makes her comeback and hits a spinning slam thing, then goes outside and slaps the shit out of Sky, then Rayne.  Tara goes back in.  Love catches her with a kick, then Sky sprays hair spray on Tara’s face.  Love hits a Flatliner (called the Lights Out) for the win at 6:53.  Not awful, but nothing special.

Lauren interviews Dr. Stevie Richards, Raven, and Daffney.  Raven cuts his usual insane, yet awesome promo, then hugs Stevie and cries.  Monster’s Ball video package.

Monster’s Ball Match: Raven & Daffney (w/ Dr. Stevie) vs. Abyss & Taylor Wilde.  The faces shine early.  Abyss press slams Daffney out of the ring and onto Raven and Stevie, then Wilde dives out onto all 3 of them.  Abyss and Raven go into the crowd.  Daffney jumps in Abyss’ back, so Wilde sandwiches her head with a trash can lid and a cookie sheet.  They all brawl in the crowd.  Wilde jumps off of some speakers or something and splashes Daffney through a table.  Abyss and Raven make it back to the ring.  Abyss pulls out the bag of tacks.  Stevie comes in and nails Abyss with a chair.  Abyss is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Raven hits the drop toe hold onto the chair, but Abyss gets his hands out to protect himself.  Raven breaks a Singapore cane over Abyss’ head.  Raven chokes Abyss with a cane.  Wilde makes the save with a trash can lid shot.  Daffney nails Wilde with a cookie sheet.  Raven hits Abyss a few times with a trash can, then Abyss kicks it into Raven’s face.  Abyss hits Raven with the cane.  Abyss chokeslams Raven, but they totally miss the trash can.  Stevie distracs the ref.  Abyss goes for Stevie.  Stevie holds Abyss for a trash can shot, but Abyss movies and Stevie gets nailed.  Wilde dives off of Abyss’ shoulders onto Raven.  Abyss covers, but Stevie distracts the ref again.  Abyss pours out the tacks.  Daffney tries to attack him.  Wilde throws Daffney onto the tacks and covers, but Stevie saves.  Abyss sets up a chokeslam on the tacks, but Raven hits Abyss with a chair.  DDT on the chair by Raven, but Abyss kicks out.  Raven goes for the DDT on the tacks, but Abyss counters and hits the Black Hole Slam (on the tacks) for the win at 14:09.  Good plunder match.

Borash interviews Jeff Jarrett.  Jarrett says he doesn’t want to be World Champion, but he has to take the title from Mick Foley to get his company back.

Sting/Morgan video package.

Sting vs. Matt Morgan.  If Morgan wins, he gets to join the Main Event Mafia. Sting is wearing his old red and black outfit, but with the usual white and black face paint.  That’s odd.  Morgan overpowers Sting to start and fishes out some punishment.  Sting fights back.  Tenay says Team 3D have arrived at the arena.  Morgan overpowers Sting again and gets heat on him for a while.  Sting tries to kick Morgan’s legs out from under him.  Sting manages to drop him with a missile dropkick.  Morgan avoids a Stinger Splash and hits the Carbon Footprint for 2.  Morgan goes for the Hellevator, but Sting counters.  I think he was trying for the Scorpion Death Drop, but they ended up just falling.  Sting hits it, but Morgan kicks out at 2!  Sting kicks him down and locks in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Morgan powers out.  Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop from the second rope for the pin at 9:01.  Much better match than I expected.

Bound For Glory is coming to Los Angeles this year!

Lauren interviews AJ Styles and Samoa Joe.  AJ says either he or Joe will win the title tonight and take the company back.  Joe says he’s going to take out Angle… or something.  I kind of spaced out there for a second.

Team 3D/Beer Money video package.  Voice over guy says “Team 3D battles Beer Money for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.”  Of course I’m serious.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: IWGP Tag Team Championship Team 3D (c) vs. Beer Money.  3D have to be jet lagged, as they defended the IWGP Tag Team Championship on a New Japan show the day before.  Storm and Devon start.  Storm gets the better of it at first, then Devon gets some stuff in.  Roode tags in.  They have a little double teaming on Devon, then Bubba tags in against Roode.  Ray connects with a straight kick to Roode’s face.  Who knew he could get his foot up that high?  Roode and Ray go at it hard with a pretty good exchange.  Devon tags in.  Double team on Roode.  Beer Money work over Devon a bit.  Ray gets the lukewarm tag and hits the Bubba Bomb on Roode for 2.  They try to set up the 3D, but Storm prevents it.  Wassup headbutt on Roode.  Devon gets the table.  Wouldn’t they be DQ’d if they used it?  Roode his a spinebuster on Ray for 2.  Tag to Storm.  Double team on Ray.  BEER!  MONEY!  The British Invasion come out.  Williams and Magnus join the commentary team while the big guy just stands there.  Ray makes a comeback and hot tags Devon.  Devon knocks Roode through a loop with a lariat and covers, but Storm saves.  Devon hits a chokeslam of all things on Roode, but Storm saves again.  Inverted 3D for 2.  West does commentary in a British accent.  3D sets up the Doomsday Device on Roode, but he counters out of it.  Storm hits a lung blower on Ray.  Storm hits a Frankensteiner off the top on Devon.  Roode follows with a frog splash, which gets 2.  Ray saves Devon from a double suplex off the top.  They finally get the Doomsday Device on Roode for 2.  Storm accidentally spits beer on Roode’s face.  3D on Roode.  The big guy (Rob Terry?) distracts the referee.  Ray hits a suicide cross body on Magnus and Terry!  Williams gets on the apron.  Devon sends him off through the table.  Beer Money hits the DWI on Devon.  Roode gets the pin at 16:56 to regain the titles.  Good match, everybody was working hard tonight.

Borash interviews Kurt Angle, who is growing out his hair and beard.  He looks odd.  Angle says it’s all about him and Joe tonight, and he’ll walk out as champion again.

King of the Mountain video package.

King of the Mountain Ladder Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Mick Foley (c) vs. TNA Legends Champion AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle.  Long entrances and introductions, including a short video package on each participant.  Angle comes out wearing a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey.  As soon as the intros are over, Joe puts on a Detroit Red Wings jersey and kicks Angle’s ass.  Even though it’s no DQ and the match hasn’t started yet, Joe is DQ’d and forced to start the match in the penalty box, while Angle is immediately eligible to hang the belt.  The bell rings.  Jarrett and Styles beat up Angle while Foley just stands on the ladder outside the ring.  Styles and Jarrett both try to pin Angle, but unsuccessfully.  Foley comes in, tries to slam Jarrett, but just falls over and lets Jarrett pin him.  The referee makes two 2 counts, and finally the 3.  The fuck?  Foley goes into the box as Joe is released.  Jarrett is now eligible to hang the belt.  Joe fights with Jarrett in the ring as Styles and Angle fight outside.  Foley apparently just wanted to rest for 2 minutes, even though he hasn’t done anything all match except for the stupid failed slam spot.  Foley is released and goes after Joe.  Joe locks Foley in the Coquina Clutch and chokes him out as the other 3 fight outside.  Joe is eligible and Foley goes back to the box.  Joe suplexes Angle onto the ladder.  Ouch.  The ladder is set up against the turnbuckle and Joe whips Jarrett into it.  Joe tries to hang the belt.  Foley is released from the box and knocks the ladder over.  Joe falls on the ladder in a very painful looking way.  That ladder is done.  Foley puts the boots to Joe.  Styles comes in and goes after him, but Foley drops him.  Foley whips Joe into the ladder, then charges, but Joe hiptosses Foley onto the ladder.  Jarrett tries to climb the destroyed ladder, thinks better of it, and throws it out of the ring at Angle.  Jarrett brings in another ladder and goes for the win, but Angle comes back in and lands a low blow.  Angle kicks Foley’s ass a bit, then gets his ass kicked by Styles.  Angle goes for a German on Styles, who lands on his feet.  Cool.  Styles goes for a tornado DDT, but Angle counters and suplexes Styles on the ladder.  Jarrett grabs the acoustic equalizer and goes for the el kabong, but Angle kicks him in the gut and locks on the ankle lock.  Jarrett grabs the guitar, gets out of the hold, and nails Angle with the erstwhile instrument.  Jarrett goes for the win.  Foley climbs up and tells Jarrett to give him the belt.  They trade punches, then Styles springboard dropkicks the ladder to send them both crashing down.  Foley and Styles end up on top of the penalty box.  Foley goes for a suplex.  AJ fights him off with headbutts and goes for his own suplex.  Foley blocks it and throws AJ into the ring with an impressive bump.  Joe locks the choke on Jarrett, but Jarrett hits a jawbreaker out of it and hits the Stroke onto the ladder.  Angle hits the Angle Slam on Jarrett and covers.  Kick out, but Foley comes off the box with an elbow drop on Angle!  Foley gets the pin, so no everybody by AJ is eligible.  Foley goes to hang the belt, but AJ comes in and hits him in the back with the Legends belt.  AJ kicks Foley off the ladder.  Styles and Joe double team Foley.  AJ lands the Pele kick that sends Foley to the outside, then Joe elevates Styles out of the ring to take out Foley in an impressive suicide dive.  Styles gets a pin on Foley that the camera misses, so now everyone is eligible.  Jarrett hits Joe with the ladder.  Angle is released from the box as Foley is sent in.  Jarrett goes to hang the belt, but AJ climbs up to stop him.  Angle tries to pull Jarrett down.  They drop the belt.  Jarrett dives at Angle, but Angle drives him to the mat.  Joe and Styles fight.  Joe drops him with the big kick.  Foley is released and goes after Styles.  Foley nails him with the belt, then Joe lands his kick on Foley.  Joe goes up the ladder with the belt.  AJ grabs his boot and pulls him down and ends up with the belt around his neck.  Styles tries to climb the ladder, but Joe pulls him down.  Styles whips Joe, who dives through the ropes onto Jarrett and Foley.  Angle comes in and goes for the Angle Slam on Styles, but Styles counters into the Styles Clash.  AJ looks to have it won, but Joe comes in and powerbombs him off the ladder.  Joe goes up with the belt.  Angle climbs up the other side.  Joe hands Angle the belt!  Angle hangs the belt for the win at 22:04.  Joe and Angle hug.  Booker T, Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, and Sharmell appear on stage to applaud Angle.  Has Joe joined the Main Event Mafia?  Oh, and I thought the match turned out pretty good too.

Pretty good show all together, one of TNA’s better PPV offerings of late.

TNA Destination X 2009 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

If the reviews are to be believed, I’m going to regret watching this show.

The show starts with a black and white video showing how horrible the economy is right now.  It switches to color to hype the main event and Ultimate X.

Mike Tenay welcome us LIVE to Orlando.  Where’s Don West?  Ah, there he is.

The Beautiful People (Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, & Madison Rayne) vs. Taylor Wilde, Roxxi, & The Governor.  Geeze, they’re still doing this phony Sarah Palin gimmick?  They try, but the match sucks.  Roxxi moves so awkwardly in the ring.  She takes the heat for a bit and makes the hot tag to Wilde, who cleans house.  The Governor hits a shitty looking dive out of the ring onto Love and Sky.  Wilde hits a German suplex on Rayne for the win at 5:04.  Bleh.

Generic blonde interviews Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley.  Jarrett is going to be the referee in the main event and Foley is going to be the enforcer.  For some reason, BRUTUS MAGNUS flashes on the screen in the middle of the interview.

Brutus Magnus then comes to the ring.  What the fuck is this shit?  He issues an open challenge.  David Penzer introduces a sailor (Jesse Neal) to be the ring announcer.  He introduces Magnus’ opponent, Eric Young.

Brutus Magnus vs. Eric Young.  Magnus looks more like a guy who should jobbing to lower midcarders on ECW.  He nails some shots, then Young fights back.  Young bounces off the ropes and Magnus botches the catch and hits a half assed powerslam or something for a near fall.  He hits a high knee and a leg drop for a near fall, then hits a powerbomb.  He goes for a splash, but Young moves.  Young hits a DVD for a near fall.  Young flips over one of the posts and goes to the other one.  Magnus tries to meet him but gets thrown down and elbow dropped.  Bridge into backslide spot gets a near fall for Young.  So forth and so on.  Magnus hits sort of a TKO off the turnbuckle for the win at 4:46.  What’s it called?  Tormentum?

Tenay and West run down the card.  Two matches in.  Why?

Sheik Abdul Bashir comes out.  He complains that he hasn’t been on a PPV all year.  He whines for a bit, then Jim Cornette comes out.  He tells Bashir he’s not on the PPV because nobody likes him.  He calls the sailor back into the ring.  The sailor sings horribly and Bashir leaves.  Complete waste of PPV time.

Jeremy Borash is in the Main Event Mafia’s locker room.  Angle complains that Foley, Jarrett, and Sting are all against him.  Booker says he has AJ Styles to deal with tonight and leaves.  Steiner says he has Samoa Joe to deal with, so Sting is Angle’s problem.  Nash tells Angle to relax.  He tells Angle the whole thing is his fault.  The audio keeps going from quiet to loud at random.

Abyss/Morgan video package.

Match of 10,000 Tacks:
Mat Morgan vs. Abyss.  During Morgan’s entrance, the newly heel Don West defends Sheik Abdul Bashir.  Because he’s a heel now.  Does anyone care?  Morgan jumps Abyss to start.  Abyss fights back but gets clotheslined to the floor.  Abyss grabs Morgan’s legs and pulls his nuts into the post.  He sets up two trays of tacks just off the stage.  Way to give away the finish.  Morgan whips Abyss into the guardrail and takes him back into the ring to beat him up.  Morgan climbs a pole (of course) and pulls down a bag of tacks.  He pours them into a small, neat pile and tries to push Abyss’ face into them.  Abyss fights back and goes for a chokeslam, but Morgan fights out.  Abyss hits a clothesline, then punishes Morgan in the corner.  Abyss climbs up another pole and retrieves another bag of tacks.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint and goes outside to get a chair.  He ends up being the one to take the bump into the chair.  He pours the other bag of tacks onto the previous pile.  Morgan counters a powerbomb attempt, but gets Black Hole Slammed.  Abyss pours a bag of broken glass on top of the pile of tacks.  Morgan bails and heads up the ramp.  Abyss gives chase and they fight on the stage.  Abyss goes for a chokeslam again, but Morgan kicks him in the balls.  Morgan lands the Carbon Footprint and sends Abyss off of the stage into the trays of tacks we talked about earlier for the win at 8:49.  Retarded match.

Booker T tells Cornette he didn’t agree to put the Legends title on the line tonight.  Cornette shows him the contract.  Sharmell tries to find a loophole, but Cornette isn’t buying it.

There’s some kind of stupid thing with guys trying to win a date with ODB.  I wanted to fast forward, but my wife won’t let me.  ODB comes out in a dress.  The finalists are Cody Deaner: a hillbilly with a mullet, Shark Boy, and Bernie Weber: an old Mexican in a suit.  TNA actually wants people to pay money for this shit?  They all say why they should win, then they dance.  Mullet wins.  TNA actually wants people to pay money for this shit?  This has to be the worst PPV segment since the Gobbledy Gooker.

Generic blonde interviews Beer Money, who are very rude to her.  The audio goes screwy again.  Tonight they face Team 3D, and apparently if 3D loses, they have to leave.

Awesome Kong/Sojourner Bolt video package.  They were friends, and now they’re enemies.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Awesome Kong (c) (w/ Raisha Saeed) vs. Sojourner Bolt.  Bolt botches some shit and gets clotheslined.  Kong proceeds to demolish Bolt.  Bolt tries to fight back, but is cut off every time.  Kong misses a diving splash.  Bolt rolls her up with a la magistral but fails to get the pin.  Same with a jackknife hold.  Bolt hits the ropes and Saeed grabs her leg.  Bolt kicks her away and low bridges a charging Kong.  Bolt goes for a Dragonrana, but Kong Awesome Bombs her to end this abortion at 4:18.

Tenay and West hype what’s still to come.

Joe/Steiner video package.

Scott Steiner vs. Samoa Joe.  Joe has a new look with retarded facepaint and looks like he’s approaching being as fat as I am.  Did he not hit the gym at all during the months he was off TV?  Joe destroys Steiner, then attacks some refs to get DQ’d at 1:29.  He beats up Steiner through the crowd and out of the arena.  Geeze, this show is bad.

Generic blonde interviews AJ Styles.

Booker/Styles video package.  Styles stole Booker’s belt and Booker called the cops.

TNA Legends Championship Match: Booker T (c) (w/ Sharmell) vs. AJ Styles.  They lock up.  AJ shoves Booker.  Hammerlock exchange sequence, then they trade chops.  Usual AJ greatness.  Booker bails and AJ hits his flying forearm off the apron.  Back inside, AJ covers for a two count.  Backbreaker for another two count.  Booker gets the advantage and goes to work on AJ.  Harlem side kick gets two.  Booker works AJ’s arm.  Don West explains how important it is to have feeling in your arms.  AJ fights back and hits a hammerlock backdrop for a near fall.  That was kinda nifty.  Booker hits his swank rollup out of the corner for the first time in ages for a near fall, then blasts AJ with a kick for another.  AJ gets a nice German suplex hold for a near fall.  AJ springboards off the ropes and they botch something.  Booker manages to spin up and goes for the scissors kick, but AJ moves and hits the Pele.  AJ follows with the Styles Clash for the victory at 9:15.  Best match on the show so far, and that’s sad.  AJ celebrates with the belt.

Cut to the parking lot.  Apparently, Samoa Joe has murdered Scott Steiner with a sword.  He tells a frightened generic blonde to tell he’s going to kill the rest of the Main Event Mafia.  Or something.

Beer Money/Team 3D video package.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match (Off The Wagon Challenge): Beer Money (c) vs. IWGP Tag Team Champions Team 3D.  Team 3D proudly display their IWGP gold and Bubba is wearing a New Japan ring jacket.  Awesome!  Beer Money have been doing a “get a title shot but if we pin you you’re fired” gimmick recently, and that’s what this is.  Devon beats up Roode a bit.  Bubba tags in and promptly gets taken down.  Storm tags in and acts retarded.  Storm and Bubba do the silly test of strength dance.  Devon tags in and 3D double team storm.  Roode prevents his partner from taking the WASSUP headbutt.  Match goes on.  It’s not awful, but not particularly exciting.  They do the Brokeback Mountain spot.  Bubba hits a Rock Bottom of all things on Roode, then the flip, flop, & fly on Storm.  Storm prevents Devon from making it back in the ring and Beer Money doubleteams Bubba.  Storm hits an avalanche-style Frankensteiner and Roode follows with a frog splash.  I’m serious.  Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb for a near fall.  Don West: How many people have we ever seen kick out of that?  Me: Everyone.  Devon makes it back in and they give Roode the reverse 3D for a near fall.  Storm comes in and uses a chair to cause the DQ at 9:57.  Cornette comes out and restarts the match as a No DQ match.  Devon comes from behind and gives them the double noggin knocker.  Storm takes the 3D.  Roode pulls the referee out of the ring.  He grabs Storm and leaves.  West hands Beer Money the belts and they leave.  Crowd chants BULLSHIT.  3D wins by count-out at 12:04.  Bubba complains to the announcers.

We get comments from the Ultimate X participants, then a video package.  I love Shelley openly saying he’s going to cheat any way he can.

Ultimate X Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Alex Shelley (c) vs. Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide.  Guns immediately jump Suicide as Lethal and Creed go to climb the structure.  Guns use teamwork to deal with everybody else.  Suicide comes back in and deals with them, then goes at it with Lethal.  “FALLEN ANGEL” chants.  Shelley and Lethal go at it.  Sabin goes for the belt, but Creed pulls him down.  It’s basically two guys fight, one gets knocked down, and another comes in to go at it with the other.  Sabin his a suicide (no pun intended) dive 4 1/2 minutes it.  Suicide goes for one as well, but Shelley nails him with a kick.  Creed goes for the climb, but Suicide gets him a fireman’s carry and does the Finlay roll onto the other guys outside.  Suicide climbs the cables, but Lethal knocks him down with a missile dropkick.  Lethal Consequences fight with the Guns.  Lethal gives Creed a boost up to the belt.  Sabin uses Shelley as a springboard and takes Creed down.  Tower of Doom spot in the corner, but Suicide holds on to the cables and goes for the prize.  Lethal persues and powerbombs him down.  Everybody hits a bunch of stuff.  Guns hit the Made In Detroit on Creed.  Creed hits the TKO off the second rope on Shelley.  Creed, Lethal, and Sabin all go for the belt.  They fight on the cables.  Suicide pounces and sends them all crashing, then grabs the belt and falls down for the win at 14:11.  Not as good as some other Ultimate X matches, but pretty awesome and 7,000 times better than anything else on this show.

Borash interviews Sting.

Sting/Angle video package.

Jarrett makes his entrance.  Why does a referee need a guitar?  Foley’s TNA music is awful.  Overly long entrances and videos to give it a big match feel.  It fails.  Boxing style intros, and we finally have…

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sting (c) vs. Kurt Angle (Jeff Jarrett is the referee and Mick Foley is the enforcer).  Angle punches Sting.  Sting kicks Angle.  Angle kicks Sting.  Sting elbows Angle and clotheslines him out of the ring.  They brawl some more.  Angle takes a sweet bump on a backdrop out of the ring, lands on his feet but manages to hit his head on the guardrail.  They brawl into the crowd for about a second, then go back to the ring.  Angle suplexes Sting and gets a two count.  Jarrett’s count was fair, but Angle still glares at him).  Angle tries to catch a charging Sting for a belly-to-belly, but Sting just kind of crashes into him and they stumble.  Angle wears down Sting with a sleeper on the mat.  Sting fights out and they crossbody each other.  Sting hits a bunch of clotheslines and the Stinger Splash.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Sting armdrags him out of it and hits a powerbomb of all things for a near fall.  Angle goes for the ankle lock, but Sting kicks him away.  Angle hits the rolling Germans.  Angle hits a moonsault for a near fall and I wasn’t paying attention.  Dammit.  Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop for a near fall.  Sting ducks a clothesline and Angle clotheslines Jarrett.  Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Foley checks on Jarrett.  Angle taps, but nobody is paying attention.  Angle hits the Angle Slam.  Foley counts two.  Angle low blows him.  Angle tries to use a chair on Sting, but Foley takes it away from him.  Foley swings for Angle but Angle ducks and Sting takes the chair shot.  Angle half ass Angle Slams fat Foley.  He covers Sting and Jarrett counts two.  Angle spits at Jarrett and punches him.  Jarrett punches him back and Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop for the pin at 13:51.  Angle is pissed at Jarrett, but he brought it on himself.  Sting holds up the gold as we fade to black.

The show wasn’t as horrible as Alvarez made it out to be.  Yes, the undercard WAS bad, but Booker and AJ had an okay match (only one botch stands out) and the Ultimate X was good.  The main event was a lot better than I expected.  Alvarez bitched about the heel being screwed by three guys, but if you look at the content it’s clear he did it to himself.  It wasn’t a good match, but it wasn’t awful.  Everything but the three matches I mentioned was completely worthless and had no redeeming quality.

TNA No Surrender 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  Okay PPV intro video.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to Oshawa, Ontario!  This is TNA’s first PPV outside of the United States.

Sting kicks off the show.  Huh?  Oh, he’s just out to cut a promo.  Sting says he will challenge the winner of tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship at Bound For Glory next month.  He talks about the younger guys not respecting the business or nothing, makes a Bret Hart reference, and warns AJ Styles and Samoa Joe that it’s Show time.

Earlier today: Christian Cage arrived at work.

Tenay and West inform us that due to Hurricane Ike, Booker T wasn’t able to make it to the show.  He was supposed to be in the Four-Way World Title match tonight.  They run down the card for the evening.  Finally time for the opener.

The Rock N Rave Infection (Lance Rock, Jimmy Rave, & Christy Hemme) vs. The Prince Justice Brotherhood (Curry Man, Super Eric, & Shark Boy).  Rave and Eric start.  Eric sends Rave out and hits the first suicide dive of the night, then throws him back in and hits a missile dropkick for a two count.  Rock and Shark Boy tag in.  Rock statys in briefly before tagging back out to Rave.  Sharky kicks his ass and tags in Curry Man.  Curry forces Rave to tag in Christy.  Funny exchange, wnen Shark and Rave come back in.  Sharky gets backdropped out of the ring, then Rock whips him into the guardrail.  Rock N Rave beat up Shark Boy until Sharky tags in Curry Man.  Curry kisses Hemme.  She likes it.  He tries pin her with a reverse cradle, but Rock breaks it.  Rock takes down Curry and Christy hits her stupid split leg drop for a near fall.  Shark hits the Chummer (Stunner) on Hemme, but Rock nails him.  Eric hits a double DVD on Rock and Rave.  Curry pins Hemme for the victory at 7:49.  Fun comedy match.

Awesome Kong/ODB video package.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) vs. ODB.  Saeed jumps ODB in the aisle because ODB ripped her veil off recently on iMPACT!  Kong takes ODB to the ring and beats her up, but misses a splash, which allows ODB to go on the offensive.  ODB brings in a table and sets it up in the corner.  Kong reverses the Irish whip attempt and clotheslines ODB.  They go outside and fight into the crowd.  Kong gets a near fall on the ramp, then tries to sandwich ODB against the ring post.  ODB moves and Kong lariats the post.  ODB hits a Thesz press for a near fall I think.  Back in the ring, ODB sends Kong into a chair set up in the corner and schoolgirls her for a near fall.  ODB sets up the table and tries to slam Kong.  Kong goes for the Awesome Bomb, but ODB fights out of it.  Kong stands on the middle rope and tells Saeed to bring her a chair.  ODB powerbombs Kong onto the table, which doesn’t break through.  Ouch.  Saeed pulls ODB out of the ring, but gets sent into the guardrail.  ODB gets a near fall on Kong with an inside cradle.  Kong sandwiches ODB in the corner and nails her with a backfist.  Saeed gives Kong another table, which is set up in the corner.  ODB takes a drink from her flask and sprays it in Kong’s face, but Kong still manages to give her a spinebuster through the table for the win at 10:24.  It wasn’t awful.

Generic blonde interviews Christian Cage.  He talks about wanting to be a wrestler growing up just one hour from where the PPV is tonight.  He says he’s going to win the title in front of his family and friends tonight.

Abyss & Morgan/Team 3D video package.

Team 3D vs. Abyss & Matt Morgan.  Abyss and Brother Ray start.  The storyline here is Abyss spend time in a nuthouse to curb his violent tendencies (using weapons and stuff).  Ray hits a Rock Bottom, then tags in Devon, who hammers Abyss with punches.  Abyss clotheslines him and tags in Morgan.  Team 3D tries to leave, but Abyss and Morgan case them down and they fight in the aisle and back to the ring.  3D works on Abyss’ leg to half ass build the heat until Abyss makes the lukewarm tag to Morgan, who cleans house.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint on Devon and covers, but Ray pulls the referee out of the ring.  Johnny Devine runs in and hits Morgan with a chair.  Devon covers, but Morgan kicks out.  3D hits the reverse 3D, but Morgan kicks out again.  They set up for the proper 3D, but Morgan clotheslines them and tags in Abyss.  Abyss hits the Shock Treatment (I think that’s what it’s called) on Devine to dispose of him.  3D hits the Doomsday Device on Abyss, but Morgan breaks the cover.  Morgan fights Ray on the outside while Abyss and Devon fight in the ring.  Abyss hits a weak chokeslam for a near fall, then picks up the chair.  Before he decides to use it, Ray makes it back in and hits him from behind.  Morgan pulls him out and punches the chair into Devon’s face.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Devon for the win at 11:35 to put the finishing touches on this crapfest.  Bubba low blows Abyss and nails Morgan with the chair, then 3D and Devine bail.  Morgan gets up to find Abyss holding the chair and thinks Abyss was the one who hit him.

Bashir/Williams/Creed video package.

Three-Way Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Petey Williams (c) (w/ Rhaka Khan) vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Consequences Creed.  A Canadian is defending the title in Canada and Earl Hebner is the referee.  Uh oh.  Of course we get the obligatory “YOU SCREWED BRET” chant.  Early action is fast and furious.  Creed hits the second suicide dive of the night to take out Williams and Bashir outside the ring.  They do lots of cool stuff, but most of it is too quick to call.  Williams hits his rana suicida, then Bashir takes him out with a baseball slide dropkick.  Bashir and Creed fight for a bit until Williams makes it back in and sets up a double Canadian Destroyer.  Sorry, not going to happen in this lifetime.  Creed hits a double diving leg drop on both of them.  Williams goes for the Destroyer on Creed, but gets countered.  Williams puts Bashir in the Sharpshooter to the delight of the crowd.  Bashir crawls over and covers Creed, but Williams pulls him back to the middle of the ring.  Creed hits a bulldog on Williams to break the hold.  Creed counters a Destroyer attempt with the same Beach-Break like move he did at the previous PPV.  Williams hits the Destroyer on Creed and covers.  Bashir pulls him out of the ring and sends him into the guardrail, then slips in and pins Creed to win the title at 8:16.  Good match.

Samoa Joe arrives at the building.  The World Champion can’t trouble himself to make it to work on time?

Wilde/Love video package.  The Beautiful People and Kip James make their entrance.  Every one of Kip’s gimmicks is progressively more gay than the last.  Taylor is the hometown girl.  Native champions are not doing well on this show so far.  Taylor introduces her backup for the night, Rhino.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Taylor Wilde (c) (w/ Rhino) vs. Angelina Love (w/ Kip James & Velvet Sky).  They trade girlie punches to start.  Traci Brooks comes out to take notes or something.  She’s the “Knockout Law.”  Sky nails Wilde with Kip’s purple makeup kit outside the ring.  They trade shots back in the ring.  Love hits a front suplex for a near fall.  Wilde gets a front cradle for a near fall.  Rhino Gores an interfering Kip James.  Sky grabs Wilde from behind and holds her so Love can nail her.  Wilde ducks and Love puts on the brakes.  Wilde dropkicks Love into Sky, then hits a Northern Lights suplex for the win at 6:23.  Lousy and boring.

Lethal/Dutt/Val video package.  Tonight they’ll have a ladder match with So Cal Val’s engagement ring hanging above the ring.  The winner gets Val.  Yeah, that’s really smart way to choose your man.

Ladder of Love Match:
Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt.  Good exchange to start, with Dutt taking a Dragon suplex and landing on his knees, then Lethal hitting a tope suicida.  Tenay says he’s just heard that Jacqueline attacked Salinas in the bathroom.  Lethal backdrops Dutt out of the ring and onto a ladder.  Lethal climbs the ladder and goes for the prize, but Dutt springboards to the ladder and drops Lethal into the ropes.  Dutt heads up the ladder, but Lethal powerbombs him.  Dutt brings in another ladder and sets it up between the ropes and the main ladder.  Lethal takes a bump into it, then Dutt hits a springboard flip.  It’s really hard to describe some of this shit.  The second ladder is now on top of the first ladder.  Lethal catapults Dutt, but completely misses the ladders.  Lethal takes the second ladder down and uses it against Dutt.  Matches like this can be really hard to call.  Sick tree of woe spot with the ladder.  They fight in the aisle.  Lethal takes a bump into a ladder set up on two chairs.  Slight “HOLY SHIT” chant.  The make it back in the ring and both set up ladders.  Dutt puts Lethal in the camel clutch ON TOP OF THE LADDERS.  Lethal fights out and sends Dutt crashing to the mat.  Lethal gets his leg caught in the ladder and Val comes in to help him.  Dutt yells at Val.  Dutt and Lethal climb opposite sides of the ladder.  Val gives Lethal a low blow, allowing Dutt to win at 13:22.  They make out after the match.  I’m sure absolutely every one saw this one coming.

Jeremy Borash interviews Kurt Angle.

Beer Money/LAX video package.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Beer Money (c) (w/ Jacqueline) vs. LAX (w/ Hector Guerrero).  Homicide wants Roode, who bails and tags in Storm.  Remember, Roode hit Homicide in the eye with a beer bottle at the previous PPV.  Hernandez tags in and hits a springboard shoulder block on Storm.  Storm hits a Lung Blower on Hernandez and covers, but Homicide makes the save.  Hernandez goes for a powerbomb on Storm, but Roode clips his knee.  Homicide eventually tags in and then tags Roode’s face with punches.  Homicide hits a DDT off the turnbuckle and covers, but Storm saves.  Roode hits a spinebuster, but Hernandez saves.  Hernandez sends Roode out and Homicide hits a suicide dive.  Hernandez climbs the ropes, but Storm spits beer in this face and powerbombs him down.  Second time tonight that spot as been used.  Homicide goes for Roode’s head with a beer bottle, but smashes it into the steps and maybe hits his hand up.  Hernandez hits a dive on everybody.  Roode and Homicide back in the ring.  Homicide goes for the Gringo Killa, but Jacqueline throws powder in his eyes.  Roode hits the Payoff on Homicide for the win at 8:44.  Not bad, but not as good as their previous PPV matches.

Styles/Trigg video package.

MMA/Amateur Wrestling Match: Frank Trigg vs. AJ Styles.  Trigg cuts a promo to piss off the crowd.  There will be three 5 minute rounds, with a 1 minute rest period between rounds.  Typical boring MMA stuff until the take a spill out of the ring.  They go back in the ring and it goes back to being a boring MMA match.  AJ locks in a cross armbreaker as the first round ends.  Crowd chants “THIS IS BULLSHIT” as the second round starts.  AJ hits an accidental low blow and the match is ruled a no contest at 7:16.  This “match” was just plain retarded.  AJ nails Trigg with a Singapore cane afte the match.

Jeremy Borash interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Samoa Joe.  He rips on Sting for not working house shows.

Joe/Booker/Christian/Angle video package.  Booker isn’t here because of the weather, so now it’s a Three-Way Match.

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle.  Sting comes down and Joe attacks him the aisle.  AJ comes out and tries to make peace.  Sting leaves.  Joe goes to the ring so we can have the introductions and the match can start.  Christian and Joe double team Angle a bit, then go at it themselves.  Angle comes back in and hits a belly-to-belly overhead suplex to send Christian over the ropes and out of the ring.  Angle wears down Joe with a rear chin lock.  Christian makes it back in to take a belly-to-belly superplex from Angle.  Joe hits his powerslam on Angle for a two count.  Angle counters an Unprettier attempt from Chrstian into the rolling Germans.  Joe goes for the choke on Angle.  Angle tries to give him the Angle Slam, but Joe hits a German.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster on Christian but fails.  Angle hits the Angle Slam on Joe for a near fall.  Tower of doom spot in the corner.  Joe gets a two count on Christian, then Angle.  Angle tries to give Christian a German off the apron, but Christian holds on, so it just looks gay.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Joe schoolboys Angle for a near fall.  Angle locks Joe in the ankle lock, then puts both in it at the same time.  They flip out of it.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster on Christian and covers, but Angle grabs referee Earl Hebner’s shirt.  Hebner finally gets away and counts two.  Joe throws Christian out of the ring into Angle, then dives out onto both of them.  They make it back into the ring and Angle hits the Angle Slam on Joe.  Christian follows with a frog splash, then sends Angle out of the ring.  Christian hits the Unprettier on Joe and covers, but Angle pulls Hebner out and throws him into the guardrail.  Angle wallops Christian with a chair, then Angle Slams him out of the ring.  He clobbers Joe with the chair and locks in the ankle lock.  Jeff Jarrett comes down and blasts Angle with the guitar.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster and Jarrett puts Hebner back in the ring to count the pin at 15:29.  Joe vs. Sting next month a Bound For Glory!  Alright match.

All in all, a lackluster show with a couple of okay matches, but nothing outstanding.

TNA Hard Justice 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling, Cross The Line!  The start of the PPV intro video is an AWESOME Law & Order parody.

Generic blond tries to interview Sting as he arrives at the arena, but he ignores her questions.

Some shitty rap group performs.  After they’re done, we get the fireworks, then the World’s Worst Commentary Team, Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE from Trenton, New Jersey.  They run down the card for tonight.  They run down the X Factors for the X Division Title Match, which will be kicking off the show.

TNA X Division Championship Match:
Petey Williams (c) (w/ Rhaka Khan) vs. Consequences Creed.  They start with a really good exchange that Creed gets the better of.  Williams takes a press slam into a gutbuster and bails, so Creed hits a suicide dive onto him.  Williams gets back in the ring and distracts the referee so Khan can get in a cheap shot that lets Williams take control.  Williams sends Creed to the outside and hits his suicide rana.  Williams keeps control until Creed nails a kick to start his comeback.  Creed hits a springboard bulldog and his punch combo for a near fall.  Williams hits a Russian leg sweep and signals for the Candian Destroyer, but doesn’t hit it.  Some other stuff happens that I couldn’t type because my wife was making me put stuff on a shelf, then Petey locks in the Sharpshooter.  Creed gets a rope break.  Williams beats on Creed, but Creed hits a German and the Creed-DT.  Creed hits a diving legdrop and covers, but Petey manages to kick out.  Rhaka Khan comes in the ring and Creed gives her the TKO.  Petey goes for the Destroyer, but Creed counters and hits a Beach Break-like move.  Sheik Abdul Bashir comes out and nails Creed with a chair, allowing Petey to hit the Canadian Destroyer for the win at 12:30.  Good match.  Bashir cuts an Anti-American promo after the match.

Jeremy Borash interviews Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash.  Joe says he’s focused and he’s tired of Sting’s crap.  Nash tells Joe he needs to focus on Booker T, and he leaves to talk to Sting.  Joe then has words for Booker about their match tonight.

Hype video for the six-woman tag team match.

Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) & The Beautiful People vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Taylor Wilde, Gail Kim, & ODB.  Traci Brooks is the special referee.  ODB does all of her laughable stupid taunts, much to disgust of Angelina Love.  She tags in Velvet Sky, who is offended by ODB’s body odor.  Sky sprays perfume on her.  ODB takes the perfume and sprays it on her crotch.  Gail tags in and we finally get some wrestling.  Sky quickly tags Love back in.  Wilde tags in and gets the better of Love.  Kong tags in and goes after Wilde.  Wilde quickly tags out to Kim, who also gets thrown around by Kong.  ODB tags in and trades blows with Kong.  Kong smashes Wilde and Kim, but ODB can hang with her.  Wilde and Kim double team her and take her down.  ODB low bridges a charging Kong and sends her out of the ring.  Saeed trips up ODB and Brooks ejects her.  ODB spits her booze in Kong’s face.  Kong smashes her and allows Sky to get a near fall.  Sky ties up ODB with an Octopus stretch.  ODB escapes and tags in Kim as Love tags in on the other side.  Love chokes Kim and Brooks forces her to break.  Love gets in her face.  Love continues to beat on Kim until Wilde tags in and cleans her clock.  Kong tags in and sets up Wilde for the Awesome Bomb, but Kim prevents it.  Everybody starts brawling.  Wilde pins Love with a front cradle at 11:28.  Match wasn’t bad.

Generic Blonde follows Team 3D as they go to find Sting in the rafters of the building.  They discover that Ray is scared of heights.  They just yell and hope he hears them.

LAX/Beer Money hype video.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: LAX (c) (w/ Hector Guerrero & Salinas) vs. Beer Money (w/ Jacqueline).  One of the rappers from earlier performs LAX’s entrance theme live.  They brawl outside the ring before the match starts.  Homicide throws Roode in the ring to officially start the match.  LAX double teams Roode.  Hernandez hits a long stalling suplex.  Homicide brings Storm in and kicks his ass too.  Beer Money double team Homicide outside the ring, but Hernandez hits them with the suicide dive.  First “THAT WAS AWESOME!” chant of the night.  Homicide beats up Roode in the ring.  Storm spits beer in Homicide’s eyes, which allows Roode to get the advantage.  Beer Money build the heat on Homicide, who is kayfabe injured from Beer Money putting him through a glass table recently.  Homicide tries to fight back, but Beer Money continues to destroy him.  Storm hits a swank DDT off the ropes on Homicide for a near fall, then a nice knee kick for the same.  Roode antagonizes the crowd by giving Homicide the Three Amigos.  Roode goes for a frog splash, but Homicide rolls out of the way and makes the hot tag.  Hernandez destroys both of them and covers Storm after a spinebuster, but Roode saves.  Beer Money double team Hernandez and Storm gets a near fall after Roode hits a blockbuster.  Homicide tags back in and hits a double dropkick on both of Beer Money.  Homicide suplexes Storm and goes up top.  Jacqueline tries to stop him, but Homicide kicks her away and hits the frog splash for a near fall.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Storm.  Hernandez takes care of Roode, but Storm gives him a Lungblower.  Homicide hits the Gringo Cutter on Storm and Beer Money bails.  Hernandez Border Tosses Homicide out of the ring onto Beer Money.  Hernandez throws Roode back in the ring and charges him, but Roode low bridges him.  Salinas and Jacqueline get into a cat fight.  In the ring, Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer on Storm, but Roode breaks a beer bottle over Homicide’s head and allows Storm to get the pin and win the titles at 14:05.  Really good formula tag match.

Kevin Nash tries to talk Sting out of whatever he’s planning to do tonight.

Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt/So Cal Val love triangle video package.

Black Tie Brawl & Chain Match:
“The Guru” Sonjay Dutt vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal (w/ So Cal Val).  They’ll wrestle chained together and wearing tuxedos.  You win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  Lethal’s family is shown in the crowd, as we’re in his home state.  Lethal cleverly secures his side of the chain to the ring rope and beats on Dutt.  The referee finally chains up Lethal so the match officially starts.  Dutt hits a low blow with the chain and beats up Lethal.  Lethal dodges a fist drop with the chain and fights back.  Dutt bails and Lethal hits a suicide cross body.  Dutt tries to get away, but they’re chained together.  Moron.  Lethal dies Dutt to the ringpost with the chain and beats on him until Dutt ducks a blow and Lethal punches the post.  Lethal strangles Dutt with the chain and Val pleads with him to stop.  Val leaves, which distracts Lethal and allows Dutt to pull him into the post.  Dutt pulls Lethal’s jacket and shirt off.  Dutt beats on Lethal and taunts his family.  Crowd chants “BORING.”  Dutt goes for a springboard dive, but Lethal yanks the chain and Dutt takes a nasty bump.  Lethal throws Dutt around with the chain and gooes for the Lethal Combination, but Dutt counters.  Lethal hits another move for a two count.  I thought you could only win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  Dutt hits the Sonjay Cutter for a near fall.  Dutt goes for a diving move, but misses.  Lethal hits a cool rolling Fisherman buster.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination and the diving elbow drop for the win at 11:19… even though you can only win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  It’s TNA and we know they’re retarded, so I digress.  They made a good brawl out of a silly gimmick.

Jeremy Borash is in the locker room with Booker T and Sharmell.  Booker still has possession of the World Title belt, even though Joe is the champion.  Booker has words for Samoa Joe, then they drink champagne.

Team 3D/Christian & Rhino video package.

Jersey Street Fight: Team 3D vs. Christian Cage & Rhino.  They start with the brawling you’d expect, then Bubba tosses Christian into the air and Christian takes an awesome bump… very similar to the one Sonjay took in the previous match.  It’s the same problem I saw with the show I watched yesterday, too many of the matches have the same shit in them.  They brawl in the crowd for a while, then back in the ring Christian hits Bubba with a sign that says “CHRISTIAN USE MY SIGN.”  Bubba throws the steps into the ring and Devon hits Rhino with them.  Tenay and West have one of those moments that make me remember how awful and annoying they are.  Christian slams Bubba’s race into the steps, then tries to hit him with a Detour sign.  Bubba moves and hits the Bubba Bomb off the steps for a near fall.  Crowd chants “WE WANT TABLES!”  There’s a funny spot where Devon charges Christian, who holds up a stop sign.  Rhino Gores Devon and covers, but Bubba breaks it.  Christian goes for the Unprettier, but Bubba counters and hits an electric chair drop.  Rhino rams Devon’s head repeatedly into Bubba’s balls.  Bubba hits a superbomb on Christian.  Christian kicks out of the cover.  3D finally brings in a table.  Rhino and Christian set up a ladder.  Christian hits a frog splash off the ladder on Bubba.  Rhino Gores Bubba into a table that doesn’t break for the win at 15:22.  The match was your typical plunder based brawl, not awful but nothing special.  Johnny Devine runs in and attacks Christian and Rhino with a Singapore cane.  Abyss makes the save, giving Devine the Black Hole Slam.

Generic blond interviews AJ Styles, then we get a video package of his history with Kurt Angle.  The angle (no pun intended) here is that AJ supposedly nailed Kurt’s wife.

Last Man Standing Match: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles.  Angle stalls for a bit at the beginning, bailing every time AJ approaches him.  Styles chases Angle around the ring.  Angle gets in first and gets the advantage.  AJ fights back, then Angle rakes his eyes.  AJ ducks Angle and hits a dropkick, then clotheslines him out of the ring and hits a suicide dive.  AJ gets Angle back in the ring and kicks his ass.  Angle begs off, then throws AJ through the ropes.  Angle suplexes AJ into the guardrail.  Ouch.  Angle goes for a pinall, so I guess it’s Texas Death Match rules here.  They fight up the ramp, where AJ suplexes Angle and gets a two count.  Angle suplex Styles off the stage, then does a somersault onto him!  Cover gets two.  They fight back to the ring, where Angle clamps on a sleeper hold.  AJ fights out and blasts Angle with a kick.  Angle hits an overhead belly-to-belly.  Angle beats up AJ some more and clamps on a headlock.  AJ fights back and gets in some blows, then they catch each other with cross body blocks.  They get back up and AJ hits his springboard forearm.  Styles puts Angle in the Torture Rack, then hits a move out of it for a near fall.  AJ goes for the Styles Clash, but Angle counters and goes for the ankle lock.  AJ counters and hits a spinebuster.  Angle catches Styles coming off the top rope and powerbombs him for a near fall, then tries to hit him with the Styles Clash.  Styles counters and puts Angle in the ankle lock.  Angle taps.  Angle beats the count up.  Styles misses the flip reverse DDT and Angle low blows him and hits a German.  Styles ducks a shot and hits the Pele kick.  Angle hits a sort of German off the top rope and gets a pin.  AJ gets up.  Angle hits the Angle Slam and gets another pin.  AJ gets up again and counters the Angle Slam into the Styles Clash for a pin.  Angle gets up at 9.  Styles MURDERS Angle with a DDT off the top rope.  Cover gets three, referee counts ten, and AJ is the winner at 24:52.  Finish was scary, knowing Angle’s history with neck problems.  Match was pretty good.  Medics come out to put Angle on a stretcher.  AJ comes back and suplexes Angle.  The lights go out, and when they came back on Sting has AJ by the head on the ramp.  Sting gives AJ the Scorpion Death Drop.  Nash appears and confronts Sting, but Sting just leaves.  They show highlights of the match, including a few replays of the sick finish.

Samoa Joe/Booker T history video.

Six Sides of Steel with Weapons Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Booker T (w/ Sharmell).  They brawl.  Booker tries to use a Singapore can and fails.  Joe kicks a trash can into Booker’s balls and hits his senton on the trashcan onto Booker.  “JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU” chant.  Joe uses the cane, then hammers Booker with punches in the corner.  Booker hits Joe the remnants of the trash can.  Joe ducks a hockey stick shot and nails a kick, then sandwiches Booker’s head with trash can lids for a two count.  Booker kicks a chair into Joe’s face, then blasts him in the head with the chair.  Joe is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Booker chokes Joe with a piece of wood and tries to climb out of the cage.  Joe follows and hits an Ace Crusher off the top rope.  Joe hammers Booker and rams his head into the cage.  Booker hits a move for a near fall and locks Joe in a guillotine choke.  I think I hear a “YOU SCREWED BRET” chant directed at referee Earl Hebner.  Let it go, people.  Booker superkicks a trash can lid into Joe’s face for a near fall.  Booker tries to climb out again and they fight on the top rope.  Joe jumps up and kicks him in the head.  Joe takes a hard bump to the canvas and Booker crotches himself on the top rope.  Joe hits his powerslam for a near fall.  Joe hits a powerbomb and locks in the STF.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster, but Booker gets out and hits the Book End on a chair for a near fall.  Booker spinaroonies up and nails the axe kick as the lights go out.  When they come back on, Joe has a familiar looking guitar in his hand.  Joe blasts Booker with the guitar for the pin at 12:46.  Okay plunder match, I guess.

All in all, I give the show a thumbs in the middle.  Top to bottom okay matches.

TNA Victory Road 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  Cool opening video.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to Houston, Texas.  Jeremy Borash is shown outside the arena with the mutant TNA fans.  The polls are open as to what stipulations one of the matches will have tonight.  Generic blonde and B.G. James are in the crowd.  Tonight, there’s a Fans’ Revenge Strap Match and some other stuff.

We’re opening with the semifinal round of the World X Cup.  Current standings are Team Mexico and Team TNA with 3 points each, Team International and Team Japan with 2 points each, so it’s still anybody’s ball game.  This match will be a 4-way trios match, known in Mexico as a Torneo Cibernetico.

World X Cup – Tag Team Elimination Match: Team Japan (Milano Collection AT, Masato Yoshino, & Puma) vs. Team Mexico (Ultimo Guerrero, Rey Bucanero, & Averno) vs. Team International (Doug Williams, Alex Koslov, & Tyson Dux) vs. Team TNA (The Motor City Machine Guns & Curry Man).  The winner gets three points, first runner up gets two, second runner up gets one point.  Yoshino and Curry Man start.  Yoshino is fast.  Sabin tags in and the Guns double team Yoshino.  Tyson Dux tags himself in.  He and Williams double team Sabin.  Sabin tags out and Team Mexico triple team Williams and Dux.  Averno hits a suicide dive on Williams.  Bucanero eliminates Dux with what looked like a Muscular Bomb at 2:57.  Milano and Puma double team Bucanero.  Averno comes in and throws both of them around.  Averno ducks and Puma nails Milano.  Averno eliminates Puma with an Angel’s Wings at 5:06.  Milano nails a superkick on Averno, but Bucanero saves him.  Sabin comes and and misses a dive on Milano.  Milano puts the Guns in a double half crab.  Curry Man saves them.  Milano fakes a low blow from Sabin.  Sabin hits the Cradle Shock to eliminate Milano at 7:14.  Yoshino comes in against Sabin.  He’s all alone now.  Shelley tags in and ties Yoshino to the tree of woe.  Shelley and Sabin both dropkick him in the corner.  Yoshino takes a tornado DDT from Sabin, but goes back and gets him in a hold.  Shelley escapes and nails a superkick.  Averno makes a blind tag and comes in with Yoshino.  Averno hits a wierd facebuster for a near fall.  Averno hits a TKO on Yoshino, but Yoshino gets a botched pinfall on Averno with a cradle at 10:34.  Koslov comes in and does the Russian kick dance on Yoshino.  Williams comes in and hits the Chaos Theory on one of the guns.  Curry Man tries to hit the Spice Rack, but Williams escapes it.  Guerrero and Bucanero attack both of them.  Curry Man ggoes for a top rope Frankensteiner on Guerrero, but gets powerbombed down for the elimination at 12:57.  Guerrero and Bucanero eliminate Williams at 13:24 with a cool sandwich double team.  The Guns miss stereo suicide dives.  Koslov tries to get the crowd to chat “Russia.”  They chant “Mexico” in support of Guerrero instead.  Guerrero hits a front suplex off the top rope on Koslov for a near fall.  Koslov ties up Guerrero in a cool submission hold to eliminate him at 15:13.  Sabin hits an inside top rope Frankensteiner on Bucanero.  Sabin pins Bucanero after a double superkick at 16:20.  Shelley hits a sick jawbreaker off the top rope on Yoshino.  The Guns work over Koslov and Yoshino.  First “THIS IS AWESOME” chant of the night.  Koslov dives at Sabin but gets caught with a dropkick.  Sabin hits an Ace Crusher on Koslov and blasts him with a lariat for a near fall.  Koslov pins Sabin with his feet on the ropes at 19:07.  Koslov hits a nice suicide dive on Shelley, then goes back in the ring to deal with Yoshino.  He catches Yoshino with a nice kick for a near fall, then takes a kick from Shelley.  Yoshino submits Koslov with the Sol Naciente at 20:35.  It’s down to Shelley and Yoshino now.  Yoshino gets a near fall off an awesome missile dropkick.  Shelley hits the Shiranui for the one, two, Yoshino kicks out!  That sentence made no sense grammatically.  They hit more great moves on each other.  Shelley hits a gorgeous Tiger suplex hold for a very near fall.  Yoshino hits a sick necktie off the ropes for another ridiculously near fall.  So many great false finishes in this exchange.  Shelley hits the Schwein (whatever he calls it) for the win at 24:20.  Really awesome match.  The last few minutes with Shelley and Yoshino are particularly awesome, and the early clusterfuck was all kinds of fun too.

Updated World X Cup standings: Team TNA – 6 points, Team Japan – 4 points, Team International and Team Mexico – 3 points each.

Tenay and West hype the matches still to come.

TNA Cribs with Booker T.  He’s got a big nice house and a lot of cool memorabilia.  Lots of cool vehicles too.  Booker must have saved his money from his WCW and WWE runs.

Gail Kim/Angelina Love hype package.

Angelina Love (w/ Velvet Sky) vs. Gail Kim.  Love attacks Kim from behind to jumpstart the match.  Kim gets the advantage and it doesn’t take long for Sky to trip her up and give Love an opening.  Kim fights back and goes for a stretches Love’s leg around the ringpost.  Sky tries to interfere again, but Kim throws her into the guardrail.  Not hard enough tough, as Sky interferes again and gives Love the openning to hit a superplex.  She takes to long to make the cover, though, and Kim kicks out at two.  Kim fights back and hits a spear.  Sky distracts Kim again, but Kim hits the Codebreaker and the Regal Cutter for the win at 6:15.  The Beautiful People jump her after the match and try to put the paper bag over her head, but Kim bails.  Match was meh.

Generic blonde and B.G. James are backstage with the fans who get to serve as lumberjacks tonight.  The fans whip mannequins dressed like Beer Money.

Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt history package.

“The Guru” Sonjay Dutt vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal (w/ So Cal Val).  Dutt gives Val a rose and card, which angers Lethal enough to hit him with a suicide dive before the match starts.  Lethal destroys the gifts and throws Dutt in the ring to start the match.  Dutt gets the advantage and Val encourages the crowd to get behind Lethal.  Dutt hits a standing moonsault for a near fall.  Lethal makes a comeback and hits a German suplex, which Dutt takes front-first.  Dutt gets a shot in and goes for a tornado DDT, but Lethal pushes him away and hits a dropkick for a near fall.  Dutt hits an awesome avalanche Frankensteiner.  They end up on the outside, where Dutt takes a bump into the guardrail.  Lethal locks in a Texas Cloverleaf.  Val steps up on the apron and distracts Lethal.  Dutt tells Val he loves her.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination.  Val steps up to the apron again and distracts Lethal, allowing Dutt to schoolboy him and put his feet on the ropes for the win at 8:28.  Dutt kisses Val’s hand as he leaves.  Okay match, but we got plenty of highspots in the opener so this didn’t seem special in comparison.

LAX/Beer Money hype video.

Borash interviews Beer Money.  Roode says they’re not afraid of the marks with straps.  Storm says he’ll be glad to leave Houston.  Jacqueline says she’s not going out with them.

Fans’ Revenge Strap Match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: LAX (c) (w/ Hector Guerrero & Salinas) vs. Beer Money.  Homicide and Roode brawl to start.  Roode grabs a headlock and they trade hammerlocks.  Roode gets thrown out the ring and gets whipped.  He quickly scampers back in the ring and tags in Storm.  Storm throws Homicide out, but the fans don’t whip he.  He takes a drink of Storm’s beer.  Storm chases Homicide out and gets whipped.  Moron.  Homicide throws Storm out, but Storm skins the cat back in.  Hector pulls Storm out so he can get whipped again.  Tag to Hernandez and a bit of double teaming from the champs.  Tag back to Homicide, who Storm thumbs in the eye before tagging in Roode.  Homicide hits a headscissors, but gets sent out.  Homicide uses the Finlay trick of trapping Roode in the apron so he can get whipped some more.  Roode bails under the ring, but eventually has to come back out and gets whipped again.  Homicide hits the three amigos on him back in the ring, but soon gets worked over by Beer Money to build for the hot tag.  Homicide takes the heat for a few minute before making the tag to Hernandez, who cleans house.  Hernandez hits a sit-out powerbomb on Roode for a near fall.  Beer Money rally and go for a double superplex on Hernandez, but he fights them off and hits a diving splash on.  Referee counts two before the other guy makes the save.  Roode gets whipped again, then LAX hits the 5150 on him.  Hernandez covers for the pin at 10:09.  Okay match.  They worked in the gimmick well without having the whole match revolve around it.

Booker T gives us a tour of his wrestling school.

Recently on iMPACT, Taylor Wilde upset Awesome Kong to win the Knockouts Title.  Tonight is the rematch.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Taylor Wilde (c) vs. Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed).  They brawl.  Kong splashes her for a quick near fall.  Kong methodically destroys her, then stretches her with the camel clutch.  Taylor pulls Kong’s hair, but Kong smashes her again and goes for the Awesome Bomb.  Taylor finally makes a comeback with dropkicks and takes Kong off her feet.  Kong gets straight up and blasts her with a lariat.  Taylor hits an armdrag off the top rope rope for a near fall, then a quick roll up for the same.  Kong goes for a chokeslam, but Wilde gets a quick pin with a front cradle at 4:54.  Meh.  At least Taylor took her beating well.  Saeed blindsides Wilde after the match and throws her back in the ring.  Kong hits the Implant Buster and sets up for the Awesome Bomb on a chair.  Abyss comes out and threatens Kong.  Saeed steps between, then slaps Abyss.  Abyss gives her the Black Hole Slam and carries Wilde to the back.

Booker and Sharmell eat at their restaurant, called Sharmell’s.  They show him telling an employee to make the food portions smaller and water down the booze.

They show a shot of the NASA museum.

Ultimate X video package.  They show the crew setting up the Ultimate X structure while Tenay and West talk.  The winner of Ultimate X gets four points, and thus will win the World X Cup for his team.

World X Cup Final – Ultimate X Match: Naruki Doi (Team Japan) vs. Volador Jr. (Team Mexico) vs. Daivari (Team International) vs. Kaz (Team TNA).  David Penzer announces Doi as representing New Japan, but he’s from Dragon Gate.  They pair off and brawl.  Kaz goes for the big red X early, but Daivari pulls him down.  Kaz sends Daivari out.  Kaz, Doi, and Volador trade shots.  Volador goes for the X, but hits a rana on Doi off the cables.  Kaz sends Volador out and heads up again, but Daivari attacks him and they brawl on the outside.  Everyone gets back in the ring and Kaz tries to go for the X again, but flips on the cables.  Doi takes a nasty spill to the outside.  Daivari goes for the prize, but Volador pulls him down.  Volador goes for the prize, but Kaz throws Doi into him and Doi’s head hits Volador in the balls.  Kaz and Doi fight on the cables.  Doi takes the fall.  Volador comes from the other side and Kaz kicks him down too.  Daivari kicks Kazz down.  Volador powerbombs Daivari down.  Ouch.  Doi goes for it, but Volador dropkicks him and sends him outside.  Volador follows him with an Asai moonsault.  Kaz and Daivari fight on the steel thing that holds the cables up.  Daivari shimmers his way towards the prize, but Kaz jumps off the structure and hits a legdrop, sending them both crashing down for the HOLY SHIT! moment of the night.  The mutants in the iMPACT Zone wouldn’t have missed the opportunity to chant it.  Volador grabs the X to give Team Mexico the win at 10:59.  It didn’t measure up to previous Ultimate X matches, but it had some sick bumps.

Tenay and Willy Urbina (who?) are in the ring to present the big trophy to Team Mexico.  The crowd doesn’t care.

Booker T plays golf on his golf course.

Frank Trigg joins Tenay and West for commentary for the next match, which we then get a video package for.  Then Borash announces that the fans have voted for this match to be a Full Metal Mayhem match.

Full Metal Mayhem Match: Kurt Angle & Team 3D vs. AJ Styles, Christian Cage, & Rhino.  Angle jumps Styles in the aisle and everybody pairs off to brawl.  Angle is pissed at Styles because of something with his wife.  Christian is pissed at 3D because they put him through a glass table.  Styles hits a suicide dive on Angle and one of 3D.  The match is a wild brawl.  Don West is annoying.  Angle whacks people with a chair, then gives Christian a belly-to-belly throw onto a ladder.  3D use ladders to sandwich Rhino.  Styles sprinboards off a ladder and nails Brother Ray for the cover, but someone pulls referee Earl Hebner out of the ring.  Angle and 3D triple team Styles.  Christian hits a HIGH cross body onto all three of them off of the steel thing leftover from Ultimate X.  Rhino Gores everybody.  3D put Rhino through a table with the Doomsday Device.  Christian and Angle have an awesome exchange countering each others’ finishes.  Christian takes the 3D through the table at ringside.  The heels beat up Styles some more.  He ducks a charging Angle, who nails Devon.  Bubba SUPERKICKS Styles.  Bubba sets up Styles on a table and goes for a splash, but Styles punches him in the balls and puts him through with a facebuster.  Styles sidesteps a charging Devon and sends him through a table.  Angle goes after Styles, but Styles hits the Styles Clash for a very near fall.  Johnny Devine tries to interfere, but Styles disposes of him.  Angle hits the Angle Slam, but AJ kicks out of it!  Hebner takes a bump and hurts his leg.  Angle tries to Angle Slam Styles through a table.  Styles fights back and sets Angle on the table and climbs a ladder.  Trigg hits Styles with a Singapore cane.  Angle hits the Angle Slam off the ladder through a table for the win at 15:57.  I actually expected this match to be an overbooked piece of shit, but it surprised me by being REALLY good.

Jeremy Borash interviews Samoa Joe.  Kevin Nash interrupts and tells Joe he’ll have his back tonight.  Joe tells Nash to stay out of it no matter what happens tonight.

Samoa Joe/Booker T video package.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Booker T.  Sharmell is in the front row with some of Booker’s students.  Borash provides boxing-style introductions.  Booker is the hometown guy, so he has the crowd behind him.  They start by exchanging chops and punches.  Joe nails a kick and the crowd doesn’t approve.  Booker gets in a blow, but Joe blasts him with that knee kick he likes to do.  They fight on the outside, where Booker sends Joe into the steps.  Joe is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Booker takes Joe back into the ring and nails a superkick for a two count.  Joe fights back, but Booker hits the axe kick for a near fall.  Booker continues to beat on Joe.  Joe hits his knee kick again, then hits it diving from the middle rope for a near fall.  Booker charges Joe, but Joe hits his powerslam for another near fall.  Joe hits an Exploder and gets another two count, then tries to set up the Muscle Buster, but Booker fights him off.  Booker accidentally hits the referee.  Joe hits a lariat, then throws Booker out of the ring.  Joe hits the Ole kick.  Sharmell pleads with Joe to beating on Booker T, then slaps him.  Joe beats up Sharmell’s bodyguard, who I assume is one of Booker’s students.  Joe rolls Booker back into the ring.  Booker is BUSTED WIDE OPEN too.  Joe beats up a couple of referees.  The match is a no-contest at about 13 minutes.  Joe beats up the security guards who try to break it up.  Sharmell comes into the ring and screams for somebody to come help.  Joe chokes out Booker.  Sting comes out and argues with Joe.  Joe acts like he’s going to leave, but goes back after Booker.  Sting gets in the ring.  Joe flips him off.  Sting hits Joe with the bat.  Booker covers Joe and Sharmell makes the three count.  Booker leaves with the belt.

Okay show.  Nothing sucked except for the women’s matches and I don’t like the main event not having a finish.  The World X Cup Elimination match and the Full Metal Mayhem are both definitely worth watching.