Archive for Brother Love

WWF WrestleMania V

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  The World Wrestling Federation: What the world is watching!  The Mega Powers EXPLODE at WrestleMania V!  We’re at the Trump Plaza in Atlantic City, New Jersey!  Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are the announcers.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

WWF Women’s Champion Rockin’ Robin sings the national anthem.  She’s terrible.

King Haku (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Hercules.  After pre-match shenanigans, Haku jumps Hercules from behind to get the early advantage.  Hercules slams Haku around and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Hercules suplexes Haku back into the ring and hits a couple of elbow drops.  Hercules goes after Heenan stupidly and gets beaten up by Haku on the outside.  Haku hits a couple of backbreakers for 2.  Haku bear hugs Hercules.  Hercules breaks out and Haku catches him with a chop, then chokes him against the middle rope.  Hercules hits a cross body for 2.  Hercules ducks a rebound cross body from Haku and makes his comeback.  Hercules hits a powerslam for 2.  Hercules comes off the top rope, but Haku catches him with a superkick and goes for a diving headbutt.  Hercules moves out of the way and hits a backdrop suplex hold for the pin in 6:53.  It was okay.

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews The Rockers.

The Twin Towers (w/ Slick) vs. The Rockers.  The Rockers go with the brilliant strategy of running away at first.  Michaels and Boss Man lock up.  Boss Man sets Michaels on the top rope and slaps him.  Michaels hits a missile dropkick.  Both Rockers deck Boss Man.  Michaels decks Akeem on the apron.  Akeem tags in and prances around.  Michaels does a moonwalk.  The Rockers make quick tags attacking Akeem’s arm.  Akeem tags in Boss Man.  The Towers sandwich Jannetty between them.  Towers make quick tags and Jannetty plays face in peril.  Jannetty ducks Akeem, who accidentally decks Boss Man.  Michaels gets the hot tag and runs wild on Akeem.  Rockers hit a double diving shoulder block on Akeem for 2.  Akeem NAILS Michaels with a lariat and tags in Boss Man.  Boss Man goes for a diving splash, but Michaels moves and covers for 2.  Michaels jumps on Boss Man like he’s going for a rana.  Rockers do some double teaming and hit a double missile dropkick.  Well, Jannetty hit his anyway.  Akeem saves and sends Jannetty outside.  Michaels comes off the top, but Boss Man catches him and powerbombs him.  Akeem hits a big splash on Michaels for the pin in 8:06.  Fun match.

Tony Schiavone interviews Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil).

Dibiase and Virgil shake hands with Donald Trump during their entrance.

Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil) vs. Brutus Beefcake.  Dibiase shows off his Million Dollar belt.  Beefcake kicks his ass and throws him around.  Dibiase takes a walk outside, then comes back in and beats up Beefcake.  Beefcake slams Dibiase a bunch and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Dibiase comes back in and gets beaten up some more.  Virgil grabs Beefcake’s leg from the outside to let Dibiase get the advantage.  Dibiase chokes Beefcake.  Dibiase hits a diving elbow to the head for 2.  This is getting boring.  Beefcake gets an inside cradle for 2.  Double clothesline spot.  Dibiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream.  Beefcake gets a rope break.  Beefcake beats up Dibiase and locks in the sleeper hold.  Virgil gets on the apron.  Beefcake goes after him and gets decked from behind from Dibiase and sent outside.  Virgil beats up Beefcake on the outside.  Beefcake goes after him and gets jumped by Dibiase.  Both guys get counted out in 10:01.  Beefcake sends Dibiase into the post, then chases Virgil, beats him up, and puts him int he sleeper.  Dibiase tries tos ave and gets his ass kicked.  Beefcake tries to cut Dibiase’s hair, but Dibiase bails.  This sucked.

Footage from the WrestleMania brunch with Lord Alfred Hayes and the Bushwhackers.

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Bushwhackers.  The Bushwhackers rip Jimmy Hart’s coat off and tear it up.  The Rougeaus jump them.  Rougeaus end up colliding with Hart, then they go outside and hug.  They have a match and it sucks.  Jacques accidentally knee drops Raymond.  They go outside to regroup.  Bushwhackers stomp around the ring.  Rougeaus double team one of the Bushwhackers behind the referee’s back.  Rougeaus work over whichever Rougeau is in the ring.  Bushwhackers hit the battering ram and a double stomach breaker.  One of them pins Jacques in 5:11.  This was the absolute drizzling shits.

Sean Mooney tries to talk to fans, but the Bushwhackers lick him.

Mr. Perfect vs. The Blue Blazer.  Hennig vs. Owen Hart?  I’ll have some of that!  Good wrestling to start.  Perfect slaps Blazer.  Blazer responds in kind.  Blazer hits a couple of slams, dropkicks Perfect out of the ring, and hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Blazer hits Perfect with some European uppercuts, then throws him back inside and cranks on his arm.  Blazer hits some more moves.  Man, Owen was such an athlete.  Blazer hits a backbreaker for 2.  Blazer slams Perfect and goes for a diving splash, but Perfect gets his knees up.  Perfect beats on Blazer and locks him in a camel clutch.  Blazer fights back and hits a powerslam for 2.  Blazer hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Blazer gets a crucifix hold for a close 2 count.  Perfect nails Blazer with a forearm and hits the Perfect Plex for the pin in 5:49.  Best match of the night so far.  It’s sad that both of them are dead now.

Finkel introduces Jesse Ventura to the live crowd like at several other WrestleManias.  I have no idea why.

Footage of Lord Alfred Hayes at a 5K run.  Mr. Fuji enters (in a suit and carrying his cane) to show he’s in good shape.  He finishes.  I smell chicanery.

Run-DMC do the WrestleMania Rap.  I fast forward.

They show the Demolition/Powers of Pain double turn at Survivor Series.

Mean Gene interviews the WWF Tag Team Champions Demolition.

Handicap Match for the WWF Tag Team Championship: Demolition (c) vs. The Powers of Pain & Mr. Fuji.  Demolition’s music is dubbed over, which should be a capital offense punishable by hanging.  Demolition pummel Warlord to start.  The heels try to cut off Smash, but Barbarian gets pummeled by Demolition too.  Powers of Pain try to cut off Ax, but fail again.  Barbarian drops Ax with a big boot when he goes after Fuji to finally let the heels get some heat going.  Not that there’s any heat because this crowd is dead.  Ax plays face in peril.  Ax avoids a diving leg drop from Fuji.  Fuji tags in Warlord in time for him to cut off Ax from making the tag.  A moment later, Ax makes the hot tag to Smash anyway.  Not that it’s hot in front of this dead crowd.  Smash cleans house.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Fuji tries to throw salt at Smash, but hits Warlord.  Demolition Decapitation on Fuji.  Ax pins Fuji in 8:55.  This also sucked.

Tony Schiavone tries to interview WWF Champion Randy Savage, but Savage won’t talk to him.

After the introductions for the Dino Bravo/Ron Garvin match, Finkel introduces Jimmy Snuka for no apparent reason at the most random moment possible.  Snuka comes out to the ring, poses, and leaves.

Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) vs. Ron Garvin.  Complete shot in the dark guess here: This will suck.  Bravo jumps Garvin from behind and beats him up.  Bravo tries a powerbomb or something, but Garvin punches him down and covers for 2.  Garvin makes his comeback.  Big splash for 1.  Garvin softly pushes Bravo’s head into the top turnbuckle.  Garvin gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Garvin clamps on a sleeper hold.  Garvin goes for a piledriver, but gets backdropped, holds on, and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Bravo hits the side suplex for the pin in 3:59.  This sucked as well.  Garvin decks Bravo after the match, then gives Martin the Garvin Stomp.

The Brain Busters (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Strike Force.  Busters beat up Martin in classic awesome Busters fashion.  Martel fights back.  Strike Force send the Busters outside with a double dropkick.  Martel wrestles with Anderson, which is great stuff.  Martel gets Anderson in the crab hold, but Tully thumbs Martel in the eye immediately.  Tully and Tito tag in.  Strike Force put the Busters in stereo figure-four leglocks.  Tully has an awesome exchange with Tito.  Tito inside cradles Tully for 2 after some Busters double teaming.  Tito accidentally hits Martel with a flying forearm.  Busters work over Tito.  Anderson goes up top, but Tito throws him off Flair-style.  Tito goes to make the tag, but Martin refuses.  Martel leaves.  The Busters tear Santana apart.  Tito tries to fight back but gets cut off.  Busters hit a spiked piledriver.  Anderson pins Santana in 9:17.  Really fun little match.  I love all four of these guys.

Mean Gene interviews Rick Martel.  He says he’s tired of carrying Tito.

Gorilla and Ventura discuss Martel’s heel turn.

Finkel introduces Roddy Piper for Piper’s Pit, but Brother Love comes out instead.  He’s wearing a kilt.  He interviews… himself, playing “Rodney Piper.”  Morton Downey Jr. comes out and insults Love a bunch.  Roddy Piper comes out for real.  Piper makes fun of Love while Downey smokes a cigarette and takes his socks off and throws them out of the ring.  WTF?  This is stupid.  Downey throws cigarettes at Piper.  Brother Love finally leaves or something and Piper talks to Downey.  Piper gets annoyed at Downey blowing smoke in his face.  Piper asks Downey to light a cigarette for him, then sprays him with a fire extinguisher.  18 minutes of retarded filler to waste perfectly good PPV time.  Fuck this shit.

No Holds Barred movie trailer.  I saw that movie when I was 12 and was kind of amused by it.

Sean Mooney interviews Donald Trump at ringside.  Man, Mooney was bad here.

Ventura is mad that Hogan is making movies.  Well, his movies are all pretty terrible.

Mega Powers history video.

Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan.

Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  Big John Studd is the special guest referee.  Andre attacks Roberts as soon as he gets in the ring and sends him into an exposed turnbuckle.  How did it get exposed?  Jake fights back and goes for the snake bag, but Andre cuts him off and puts him in a half assed sleeper or something.  Studd warns Andre about driving his ass into Roberts’ crotch in the corner.  Andre chokes Roberts a bunch.  Andre methodically (see: boring) beats up Roberts.  Roberts fights back and Andre does his “tied up in the ropes” bit.  Roberts beats up Andre.  Andre gets free and beats up Roberts some more.  Roberts fights back.  Andre chops Roberts out of the ring.  Andre keeps attacking Roberts to keep him out of the ring.  Studd and Andre argue.  Roberts gets the snake bag.  Andre and Studd shove each other.  Ted Dibiase attacks Roberts from behind and steals the snake.  Roberts follows Dibiase up the aisle, decks him, and takes the snake back.  Andre chokes Studd.  Jake throws the snake in the ring to run Andre off.  Studd DQ’s Andre to give Roberts the win in 9:40.  This was the absolute drizzling shits in a show full of shit.

Sean Mooney talks to some idiot fan in the cheap seats.

Tony Schiavone interviews Sensational Sherri, who vows to take the Women’s title back and trash talks Miss Elizabeth.

The Honky Tonk Man & Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Hart Foundation.  Honky & Valentine aren’t yet known as Rhythm & Blues.  Hart and Honky lock up.  I want to take Jimmy Hart’s megaphone and shove it up his ass.  Hart gets a reverse cradle for 2, then hits some atomic drops.  Valentine tags in and gets one too.  Hart dropkicks Valentine.  Hart tags out and slingshots Neidhart into a shoulder block on Valentine.  Hart tags back in and hits a backbreaker and goes for a diving elbow drop, but Valentine avoids it.  Honky tags in and they double team Hart behind the referee’s back.  Jimmy Hart is so fucking obnoxious.  Bret plays face in peril.  Honky hits the Shake, Rattle, & Roll on Bret.  Valentine goes for the figure-four when some kind of leg gimmick, but Bret blocks it.  Valentine cuts him off from making the tag and hits a gut buster for 2.  Bret catches Honky with a cross body for 2.  Neidhart gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Neidhart gets some near falls on Valentine, but Honky saves.  Honky tags in and gets beaten up by the Harts.  Bret hits a suplex for 2, as Valentine saves, then knocks Neidhart off the apron.  Neidhart chases Jimmy Hart around the apron.  Jimmy throws the megaphone in, but Bret catches it and hits Honky in the arm.  This somehow allows Bret to pin Honky in 7:40.  Pretty decent match besides the stupid finish.

Footage of the stupid Rick Rude/Ultimate Warrior pose down from the Royal Rumble.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: The Ultimate Warrior (c) vs. Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Awesomely, Rude has the title belt airbrushed on his tights.  Rude knees Warrior in the belt and hurts himself.  Warrior pushes him around.  Warrior bear hugs Rude.  Rude also has Warrior’s face airbrushed on the ass of his tights.  Rude hits a missile dropkick for 1.  Warrior slams Rude a couple of times and goes back to the bear hug.  Warrior bites Rude’s head, hits a back body drop, and goes for the big splash, but Rude gets his knees up.  Rude hits a piledriver for 2.  Rude hits a chin crusher and tries to dance, but his back is hurt.  Rude hits a clothesline for 2.  Rude hits a side Russian leg sweep (Monsoon calls it a neckbreaker) for 2.  Rude pulls Warrior’s arms back.  Warrior reaches the ropes and shakes them, then breaks loose.  Warrior hits a shoulder block and a face buster.  Two face busters.  Warrior hits a backbreaker, then stumbles and drops him.  Not sure what that was supposed to be.  Warrior throws Rude around some more.  Rude avoids a Stinger Splash and goes for the Rude Awakening, but Warrior powers out and hits a clothesline.  Warrior takes Rude outside, then right back in, clotheslines him out, and tries to suplex him back in.  Heenan grabs Warrior’s feet and holds on as Rude lands on top and gets the pin in 9:42.  This was pretty bad.  Warrior hits a horribly sloppy press slam on Heenan after the match.  Poor Brain.  Poor anyone who had to work with that fuck Warrior.

Bad News Brown vs. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.  Brown goes on the attack immediately and beats up Duggan.  Duggan fights back, so Brown bails.  Brown gets back the apron and Duggan slingshots him back in.  Bad News headbutts Duggan and rams his head into the turnbuckle.  This only strengthens Duggan.  They fight some more.  They go to the floor.  Bad News sends Duggan into the post.  Back inside.  Duggan avoids the Ghetto Blaster and hits the tackle clothesline.  Brown bails and comes back with a chair.  Duggan grabs his 2×4.  They have a sword fight and get double DQ’d in 3:47.  Duggan hits Brown with the 2×4.  I apologize to the Bushwhackers, Rougeaus, Andre, and Jake.  THIS was the absolute fucking drizzling shits.

Mean Gene interviews The Red Rooster.  Seriously.

Bobby Heenan (w/ The Brooklyn Brawler) vs. The Red Rooster.  Heenan begs off.  Rooster rams his head into the turnbuckle.  Rooster beats up Heenan.  Heenan runs into the middle turnbuckle and Rooster gets the pin in 32 seconds.  Not the worst match on the show.  Brawler attacks Rooster after the match.  When Rooster tries to fight back, Brawler and Heenan run away.

Mean Gene interviews Miss Elizabeth.  She’ll be in a neutral corner for the main event.  She’s sad.

Tony Schiavone is in the empty locker room.

Sean Mooney is out amongst the marks.

WWF Championship Match: Randy Savage (c) vs. Hulk Hogan.  Miss Elizabeth is in a neutral corner.  Savage bails before any contact is made.  He throws a Hulkamania finger in the ring for some reason.  They finally lock up.  Hogan shoves Macho away.  Savage hides on the apron briefly, then they lock up again.  Hogan knocks Savage down with a shoulder block and Savage bails again.  They lock up again and Savage finally gets the advantage working a side headlock.  When Hogan tries to fight back, Savage bails again.  Hogan chases Savage around the ring, then hides behind Elizabeth like a dick.  Back inside, Hogan actually does a wrestling takedown and works a side headlock of his own.  Savage hits a backdrop suplex and goes for an elbow drop, but Hogan avoids it and punches him a bunch.  Hogan wrings Savage’s arm.  Savage thumbs Hogan in the eye and hits the diving double axe handle for 2.  Savage works Hogan’s arm.  Hogan escapes it by sending Savage out of the ring.  I love the way Jesse calls the faces out when they cheat and Monsoon acts like it’s okay.  Hogan drops Savage and hits a couple of elbow drops and a boot scrape.  Savage hits a clothesline for 2.  Hogan is bleeding.  Hogan rallies and hits an atomic drop.  He goes for an elbow drop, but Savage avoids it, rams him into the corner, and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Savage beats up Hogan.  Hogan rams Savage’s head into the turnbuckle and punches him a bunch, then clotheslines him in the corner.  Hogan body slams Savage out of the ring.  Liz goes to check on him, but he gets mad at her.  Savage pulls Hogan out of the ring and tries to ram him into stuff, but fails.  One side of the ring skirt has come off.  Hogan rams Savage’s face into the apron, then picks him up to ram him into the post, but Liz won’t let.  Savage rams Hogan into the post, then Liz checks on Hogan.  Make up your mind, woman!  Savage bitches at Liz and threatens her.  The referee makes her leave.  Good.  Savage hits a diving double axe handle to the floor that rams Hogan’s throat into the barricade.  Savage continues to work on the throat.  Savage slams Hogan and hits a knee drop for 2.  Savage chokes Hogan with his wrist tape, then with his hands.  Savage hits the diving elbow drop.  Hogan throws Savage off the cover and Hulks up.  Punches, big boot, and the leg drop for the pin in 17:55.  Pretty good match that somehow kind of feels like a better match than it is from a wrestling standpoint.  Great storytelling, I guess.  Hogan celebrates.  Replay of the finish.

Other than a few passable matches, this show was long and fucking horrible.

WWF SummerSlam 1988

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 14, 2010 by Grappleholic

The WWF: What The World Is Watching!  PPV opening video.  We’re LIVE from Madison Square Garden!  Gorilla Monsoon and “Superstar” Billy Graham are the announcers.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. The British Bulldogs (w/ Matilda).  The Rougeaus are now pretending to be pro-America, which makes them heels.  Davey Boy goes to work on Jacques immediately.  Raymond tags in.  They lock up.  Davey Boy backs him into the corner.  Raymond cheap shots him.  Raymond does a monkey flip, but Smith lands on his feet and takes him over with an arm drag.  Dynamite tags in and works over Raymond.  Davey Boy tags in and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Bulldogs take turns working over Raymond.  Raymond and Davey do a cool quick little reversal sequences.  Jacques trips Davey Boy from the outside, then tags in and works his leg.  Rougeaus take turns working Davey Boy’s leg.  Davey manages to get a quick inside cradle on Jacques for 2.  Dynamite gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Snap suplex to Jacques!  Falling headbutt gets 2.  Brief clusterfuck.  Davey Boy hits the running powerslam on Raymond, but Jacques saves.  Dynamite tags in and gets backdrop suplexed off of Raymond by Jacques.  Jacques tags in and beats up Dynamite.  Jacques locks him in an abdominal stretch, prompting Davey to run in and break it.  Raymond comes in and puts it on as well.  Dynamite fights out and gets beaten up.  Jacques hits a big splash for 2.  Jacques puts Dynamite in a weird modified camel clutch.  Raymond tags in and applies the same hold.  Again.  Dynamite escapes, but Jacques cuts him off from making the tag.  Dynamite gets an inside cradle, but the referee takes too long to start the count, and only gets 2.  Jacques puts Dynamite in the abdominal stretch.  Raymond tags in and kicks him in the gut.  Dynamite struggles over and makes the hot tag… but the referee didn’t see it!  Jacques covers for a 2 count.  Dynamite fights back and makes the real hot tag.  Jacques holds onto the ropes and avoids a dropkick.  Davey Boy press slams Jacques into the top rope.  More stuff happens.  Davey Boy press slams Dynamite onto Jacques and the bell rings.  It’s a time limit draw at 19:05.  The fuck?  The Rougeaus cheap shot the Bulldogs and the Bulldogs chase them to the back.  The match was good in parts, but part of it seemed like they were just killing time.

They show Ron Bass injuring Brutus Beefcake.  A big red “CENSORED” X appears on the screen.  As a result, Beefcake won’t be able to challenge for the Intercontinental Championship tonight.  Gorilla says there will indeed be an Intercontinental Championship match tonight.

Bad News Brown vs. Ken Patera.  Brown jumps Patera immediately and kicks his ass.  Patera rallies and clotheslines Brown out of the corner and finally manages to take his ring jacket off.  Patera looks remarkably like a chunky old lady.  That chunky old lady kicks Bad News’ ass.  Brown avoids an elbow drop and beats up Patera some more.  Patera catches Brown with a knee lift, then elbows him in the head a couple of times.  Patera takes Brown down into a pinning combination, but only gets 1.  Patera drops Brown again and drops an elbow for 2.  Patera hits a backbreaker for 2.  Patera gets an inside cradle for 1.  Patera bear hugs Brown.  Brown escapes.  Patera goes for a full nelson.  Brown immediately gets to the ropes.  Repeat.  More stuff happens.  Patera spears the post.  Brown hits the Ghetto Blaster for the pin in 6:37.  Yeah, this wasn’t any good.

Hype for a boxing match.  Gorilla’s favorite line tonight is “It’s gonna be a happening.”

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews the Mega Powers (w/ Elizabeth).

Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Junkyard Dog.  Rude does his usual pre-match promo, and has JYD’s face on his tights.  Alrighty.  Rude jumps JYD immediately.  JYD backdrops him and headbutts him out of the ring.  JYD beats up Rude.  Rude beats up JYD.  Sorry, I really should be paying closer attention to the match.  Rude works a rear chin lock.  Whoops, I just checked out again.  JYD fights back and lands a big headbutt, then nails Heenan off the apron.  Rude hits a side Russian leg sweep goes to the top rope, pulls his pants down, and hits a diving punch.  The tights under the tights have Jake Roberts’ wife on then.  Roberts runs in and kicks Rude’s ass to cause the DQ in 5:31.  Roberts apologizes to JYD for getting him DQ’d.  JYD visibly mouths “Fuck.”

Mean Gene interviews the Intercontinental Champion The Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart.  Honky says he’ll defend the title against anybody.

The Bolsheviks (w/ Slick) vs. The Powers of Pain (w/ Baron Von Raschke).  Third straight match that starts with immediate brawling.  The Powers clean house.  Volkoff trips Barbarian and Zhukov tries to capitalize, but gets sent out of the ring.  Powers beat up Volkoff and sends him bailing, too.  Zhukov tries to get rolling on Barbarian, but nothing comes of it.  Warlord tags in and beats him up.  Volkoff breaks a cover.  Warlord hits a belly to belly, but Nikolai saves again.  Slick gets on the apron with his cane.  Nothing comes of that.  The Bolsheviks get heat on Warlord.  Slick threatens The Baron with his cane.  Barbarian tags in and beats up the Bolsheviks.  I refuse to call this “running wild.”  Tag to Warlord.  Double shoulder block to Zhukov.  Warlord hits a running powerslam.  Barbarian follows with a diving headbutt for the pin on Zhukov in 7:20.  Man, this sucked.

Survivor Series hype.  3 months beforehand.  Awesome.  Nowadays, they barely promote PPVs in the weeks before the show.  Gorilla promises that it will be a happening!

Brother Love comes out to do the Brother Love Show.  His guest is “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.  Duggan calls him a phony.  Brother Love lectures Duggan on love.  They bicker.  Duggan threatens to stick his 2×4 up Love’s ass.  Love tries to convince him that he loves him.  Duggan swings the 2×4.  Love runs away.  This was kinda fun.

More hype for that boxing match.  It’s gonna be a happening!  Gorilla and Graham talk about it.

Honky Tonk Man comes out and calls for anyone to come out and wrestle him.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: The Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Ultimate Warrior.  Warrior kicks Honky’s ass.  Slam, shoulder block, clothesline, big splash, pin in 31 seconds.  And so ends the longest Intercontinental Championship reign of all time, a record that still stands almost 22 years later.

Regis Philbin is in the crowd.

Survivor Series hype!  They show highlights from the 1987 Survivor Series.  Gorilla says “It was a happening” twice in 30 seconds.  And it will be a happening once again!  I count 8 occurrences of the word “Happening” during that segment.

Mean Gene interviews Sugar Ray Leonard, one of the boxers in the fight they keep hyping.  They show some highlights of him boxing.  I don’t care.  This must be intermission.  They show a video interview with Leonard’s opponent, what’s-his-face.  Okerlund talks to Leonard some more.  I still don’t care.

They show the opening video hyping the main event again.

Bobby Heenan intrudes into the announcer’s booth.  Crowd chants “WEASEL!” at him.  He talks about whatever.

“The Rock” Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin).  They lock up.  They break.  They lock up again.  Gorilla, Heenan, and Graham argue about Bravo’s supposed bench press record.  It’s quite a happening.  Muraco throws Bravo around.  Bravo bails.  Bravo beats Muraco up a bit.  Muraco flips Bravo around some more.  Bravo beats him up some more.  Muraco hits a side Russian leg sweep, which Monsoon calls a neckbreaker.  Muraco backdrops Bravo, then decks Martin when he gets on the apron.  Muraco lifts Bravo and bumps the ref.  Bravo hits the side suplex for the pin in 5:30.  This wasn’t any good either.

SURVIVOR SERIES!  ON THANKSGIVING NIGHT!  IT’LL HAPPEN AT THE RICHFIELD COLISEUM!

Sean Mooney interviews Jesse “The Body” Ventura, who will be the special guest referee in the main event.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: Demolition (c) (w/ Mr. Fuji & Jimmy Hart) vs. The Hart Foundation.  The Hart Foundation turned babyface, so Jimmy turned on them.  Ax beats up Bret to start.  Bret avoids an elbow drop and starts fighting back.  He decks Smash for good measure, then gets a reverse cradle on Ax for 2.  Smash tags in and Bret hits him with a couple of arm drags.  Tag to Neidhart, who continues working Smash’s arm.  Ax catches Neidhart with a kick from the apron to let Demolition get the advantage.  Neidhart gets beaten up until Hart tags in against Ax.  Smash comes in and sends Hart into the turnbuckles.  Demolition beats up Bret.  Neidhart runs Jimmy Hart away, presumably because he’s as sick of that fucking megaphone as I am.  Demolition punishes Bret’s shoulder.  Bret manages to drop Ax with a clothesline and makes a hot tag that the referee didn’t see.  Neidhart finally gets the proper hot tag and cleans house.  Hart slingshots Neidhart outside onto Smash.  Back inside, Neidhart hits a powerslam for 2.  Hart tags in and whips Neidhart to smash Smash in the corner.  Heh.  Hart hits a backbreaker on Smash, but Ax saves.  Neidhart beats him up, then beats up Mr. Fuji on the apron.  Jimmy Hart runs back out and gives the megaphone to Ax, who nails Bret with it, allowing Smash to get the pin in 10:48.  Good match.

BOXING MATCH!  SUGAR RAY LEONARD VS. SOMEBODY!  IT WILL BE A HAPPENING!

Mean Gene is in the heel locker room to interview the defeated Honky Tonk Man.

The Big Boss Man (w/ Slick) vs. Koko B. Ware (w/ Frankie).  Slick distracts Koko to allow Boss Man to jump him from behind.  Koko fights back and lands a dropkick that gets Boss Man tied up in the ropes.  Koko beats up a tied up Boss Man.  When Boss Man escapes, he starts wailing on Koko.  Boss Man with the Stinger Splash in the corner.  Boss Man continues abusing Koko.  Boss Man goes up and goes for a diving splash, but Koko avoids the worst of it.  Koko avoids Boss Man in the corner and Boss Man crotches himself on the middle rope.  Koko mounts his comeback, connecting with a missile dropkick that looks like it caught Boss Man in the face.  Koko hits a big splash, but Boss Man throws him off of the cover.  Boss Man hits the sidewalk slam for the pin in 5:57.  Fun little match.

SURVIVOR SERIES!  IT’S GONNA BE A HAPPENING!

Sean Mooney is in the babyface locker room to interview the NEW Intercontinental Champion, The Ultimate Warrior.  Typically insane Warrior promo.

Hercules vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  They do nothing.  Jake goes for the snake bag, then Herc tries to jump him.  They fight.  Jake hits the knee lift and goes for the DDT, but Herc bails.  Roberts works a side headlock.  Herc backdrop suplexes him, but Jake holds on.  Herc gets out of it and beats up Roberts.  Herc works a rear chin lock.  Herc hits a clothesline for 2.  Herc goes back to the chin lock.  They trade hammerlocks.  Herc hits an elbow that sends Roberts out of the ring.  Roberts pulls Herc to the outside and goes back in.  Herc pulls Jake across the top rope.  Back inside, Herc hammers Jake.  Jake hits a jawbreaker to escape a rear chin lock.  Roberts connects with some punches and a short range clothesline.  Roberts goes for the DDT, but Herc backdrops him.  Herc avoids the knee lift and hits a slam and an elbow drop for 2.  Jake rallies and hits the DDT for the pin in 10:09.  This was boring and went WAY too long.  Jake puts the snake on Hercules.

They show the events leading up the Mega Powers/Mega Bucks match.

The Mega Bucks (Ted Dibiase & Andre the Giant) (w/ Bobby Heenan & Virgil) vs. The Mega Powers (WWF Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage & Hulk Hogan) (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  Jesse Ventura is the referee.  It’s gonna be a happening!  Jesse moves the tag ropes around to different corners for some reason.  Savage and Andre lock up.  Andre mauls Savage.  Quick tag to Dibiase.  Dibiase wants Hogan.  Savage tags out to Hogan.  Hogan and Dibiase lock up.  Dibiase rakes the eyes.  Hogan blocks all of his punches and hits an atomic drop.  The Mega Powers throw Dibiase back and forth, punching him.  Savage shoves Ventura in the process.  Mega Powers make some quick tags and work over Dibiase.  Hogan tries to deck Andre and gets headbutted.  Well, he deserved it.  Savage comes in and Andre headbutts him too.  Andre tags in and squashes Hogan and otherwise abuses him.  Dibiase tags in and beats up Hogan too.  Well, it does look like fun.  Dibiase works a rear chin lock.  Hogan fights out.  Double clothesline spot.  Hogan makes the tag to Savage.  Savage drops Dibiase across the top rope, then hits the diving axe handle.  Dibiase avoids Savage charging in the corner.  Savage stays in control and hits a cross body for 2.  Dibiase drops Savage with a clothesline and tags in Andre.  Andre sits on Savage in the corner.  That can’t be pleasant.  Dibiase tags in and beats up Savage some more.  Suplex gets 2.  Savage avoids a falling elbow drop from the middle rope.  Savage makes the tag to Hogan.  Hogan beats up Dibiase.  Hogan suplexes Dibiase, then decks Andre and drops him.  Savage goes for the diving elbow on Andre, but Andre boots him in the face.  Hogan puts Dibiase in a sleeper.  Andre grabs him from behind, headbutts him, and throws him out of the ring.  All of the corner people get on the apron.  Liz takes her skirt off.  HOT.  Savage and Hogan make it back in and run wild.  Hogan slams Dibiase.  Savage hits the diving elbow drop.  Hogan hits the leg drop.  Jesse counts 1, 2, but doesn’t want to count the 3.  Savage pushes his hand down for the 3 in 14:50.  Fun match.  Hogan and Savage pose.

There were some bad matches, but overall the show was a lot of fun.  SummerSlam ’88 was quite a happening!