Archive for Boo Boo Stewart

TNA iMPACT! 1/6/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 5, 2011 by Grappleholic

Video package of recent goings on.

“Genesis… The Beginning… Or the End?”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Immortal come to the ring: Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, AJ Styles, Beer Money, Kazarian, Rob Terry, Abyss, Jeff Jarrett, Gunner, and Murphy.  Bischoff blathers about how Immortal are going to win all the titles fair and square.  He brings out the champions: TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal, TNA World Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns, and TNA World Television Champion Doug Williams.  He books them in “tune up matches” tonight: Lethal vs. Abyss, Williams vs. Terry, and the Guns vs. Styles & Kazarian.  Bischoff asks them to shake hands.  Immortal jump the champions.  Bischoff pretends to be mad at them.  Rob Van Dam comes out and makes the save.  By himself.  He’s pissed off and wants a shot at Jeff Hardy.  He wants to know who his opponent is at Genesis.  Bischoff won’t tell him.  What a dick!  RVD offers to beat it out of him.  Bischoff says Abyss will “kill” RVD.

Brother Ray cuts a promo to the camera at Brother Devon.  He wants to fight in the parking lot or something.  Commercials!

Jeff Jarrett: MMA Specialist video package.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Jeff Jarrett comes out with Gunner, Murphy, and his other geeks.  He’s now changed into his gear, even though he was in street clothes 4 minutes ago.  He talks about the new rules he made last week to protect him from getting his ass kicked.  There’s some Twilight queer in the crowd.  Boo Boo Stewart?  Jarrett won’t fight him because he will be taller than him one day.  They pick a guy who looks like a midget Tyler Black.  His name is Jonathan Cruz.  He signs the contract.  He’s an idiot.

MMA Exhibition: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Jonathan Cruz.  Jarrett beats up the geek and wins with the ankle lock in 45 seconds.  Jarrett refuses to break the hold.  KURT ANGLE comes in through the crowd and chases Jarrett away.  Angle signs the contract to face Jarrett at Genesis!  Jarrett says Angle swore to never wrestle in TNA again.  Angle says it’s an exhibition.  It’s ON!  Commercials!

Moments ago, ^ happened!

Non-Title: AJ Styles & Kazarian vs. TNA World Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns.  Guns attack, clear the ring, and hit Styles and Kazarian with a double suicide dive.  Guns double team Styles back inside.  The heels cut off Sabin and work him over.  Sabin plays face in peril, then rallies and drops Kazarian with a lariat.  Shelley and Styles tag in.  Shelley runs wild and avoids being double teamed.  He takes Kazarian out with a dive.  Back inside, Styles and Shelley do an awesome countering sequence.  Shelley hits a brainbuster.  Kazarian saves.  Shelley back body drops him to the floor.  Styles tries to hit Shelley with the belt.  Shelley ducks.  Sabin superkicks Styles.  Shelley hits the Shiranui on Styles for the pin in 4:47.  Good little match.  Beer Money appear and beat down the Guns.  Eric Bischoff comes out and looks pissed off at Styles.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero bitches about how someone has been following him around with a camera.  He says he’s going to find them and demand an apology.  Yeah, kick that TNA camera man’s ass!  Commercials.

Eric Bischoff at Ric Flair bitch at AJ Styles in the office.  Bischoff tells him to get the job done this Sunday or else!

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is in the ring.  He calls out whoever is video taping him.  Samoa Joe comes out.  Is Joe a paparazzi now?  Joe spouts off some philosophical stuff about Pope being a false prophet or something.  He talks about how Pope pretends to be doing good deeds, but he’s actually a dick.  Pope defends his going to strip clubs and adopting puppies.  He warns Joe against falsely accusing him again.  This is stupid.

Mickie James & Velvet Sky are headed our way!  Commercials!

Brother Devon says he’ll go fight Ray in the parking lot tonight.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne & Sarita (w/ Tara) vs. Mickie James & Velvet Sky.  Velvet attacks Sarita.  Velvet tries, but everything she does looks horrible.  Velvet gets cut off via heel chicanery and plays face in peril.  This goes on for some time and is very uninteresting.  Velvet makes a comeback, but Madison cuts her off.  Mickie comes in and kicks Madison’s ass.  As the referee tries to regain control, Tara hits Velvet with the elbow brace.  Sarita pins Velvet in 4:34.  This sucked.

RVD bitches at Eric Bischoff in the office.  Bischoff says he has a match tonight.  Against another mystery opponent.  Commercials.

Non-Title: Rob Terry vs. TNA World Television Champion Douglas Williams.  Williams smoothly eludes the larger Terry.  Terry finally connects with a shoulder block that sends Williams to the floor.  AJ Styles attacks Williams to cause the DQ in 1:10.  Lame.  Styles and Terry injure Williams’ hand.

Brother Ray is going to the parking lot.  Commercials.

Brother Ray and Brother Ray are in the parking lot now.  Ray hides behind security and talks shit.  Of course, this goes on way too long.  Bubba finally attacks Devon while security is holding him back.  He warns Devon against showing up at Genesis.

Jeff Jarrett tells Eric Bischoff that he has a plan for Sunday.  Bischoff asks Jarrett to shoot RVD.  Jarrett is worried about Kurt Angle interfering.  Bischoff makes him feel better by making it No DQ.  Huh?

Non-Title: Abyss vs. TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal.  Entrances, commercials, bell.  At least they waited for me.  Lethal tries to take down Abyss and fails miserably.  Abyss tries to throw Lethal around and succeeds magnificently.  Lethal uses his speed to try to gain the upperhand.  He kicks Abyss in the leg and lands a dropkick.  Abyss tries to chokeslam him.  Lethal hits a handspring elbow.  He finally knocks Abyss down with a missile dropkick for 2.  Abyss catches Lethal with the Black Hole Slam.  Cover, but Abyss pulls Lethal up at 2.  Abyss beats on Lethal in the corner.  The ref DQs him in 3:27.  Lame.  Abyss shoves down the referee.  Continuing tonight’s trend, Kazarian comes down.  He pretends to beg Abyss to stop beating up Lethal.  He taunts Lethal, asking him to stand up.  Abyss holds Lethal up and forces him to shake Kazarian’s hand.

Up next, Mike Tenay’s sit down interview with Matt Morgan and Mr. Anderson!  Commercials.

Genesis hype.

Mike Tenay’s sit down interview with Matt Morgan and Mr. Anderson.  Same ol’ shit.

RVD vs. Jeff Jarrett is NEXT!  Commercials!

No DQ Match: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Rob Van Dam.  To the best of my knowledge, this is the first time these two have ever wrestled.  Tenay says it’s true, which means I’m probably wrong.  Jarrett runs around in circles like a geek.  RVD and the referee both insist that some contact be made.  Jarrett throws a kick.  RVD catches it and drops Jarrett with his “kick over the kick” move and does the “Rob Van Dam” thumb point.  Jarrett pokes RVD in the eye.  RVD drops him with another kick.  RVD beats up Jarrett in the corner.  RVD hits a springboard kick and goes for the Rolling Thunder.  Jarrett bails and runs around the ring.  RVD decks Jarrett again.  Murphy trips RVD, allowing Jarrett to get the advantage.  Jarrett applies a sleeper hold.  RVD escapes and makes his comeback.  One of the geeks runs in.  RVD throws him out of the ring and brings in a chair.  Other geeks run in.  RVD kicks their asses.  Gunner and Murphy beat down RVD and hold him for Jarrett.  Jarrett tells them to let him go.  RVD drops all of them with kicks.  TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy appears and gives RVD the Twist of Hate.  Jarrett gets the pin in 5:26.  Lame and overbooked.  Jarrett and Hardy beat down RVD.  Matt Morgan runs in to make the save.  Hardy tries to hit him with a chair.  Mr. Anderson appears, grabs the chair, and accidentally hits Morgan.  Oh noes!  Was it REALLY an accident?

As crappy as this show was, they’ve done WAY worse.