Archive for Bobby Lashley

TNA iMPACT! 1/28/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 6, 2010 by Grappleholic

The show opens with a “Last week…” video showing all the stupid shit that happened last week.  iMPACT! open, pyro and ballyhoo, Mike Tenay and Taz are our hosts.

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come to the ring.  Hogan calls out Mick Foley.  Wasn’t he fired?  Hogan says he wants to work out the issues between Foley and Bischoff.  Bischoff says he already took care of it by firing Foley.  They go back and forth.  Foley denies putting his hands on Bischoff.  Hogan’s music starts playing while he’s still talking.  Hogan tells Foley to either work things out with Bischoff or walk out of the company.

Jeff Jarrett and Bubba the Love Sponge arrive at the building.  Jarrett says they’re going to talk to Hulk.

Christy Hemme interviews Ken Anderson.  Anderson specifies that he’s “Mr. Anderson,” then issues an open challenge for tonight, and he hopes Abyss will accept.

Tenay and Taz explain the “8 Card Stud Tournament” that will take place at Against All Odds to determine the #1 Contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.  Tonight, we’ll see qualifying matches for that tournament.

8 Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match: Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea) vs. Sean Morley.  They lock up and trade hammerlocks.  Wolfe goes on the offensive.  Morley fights back, but Wolfe drops him with (what I think is) the Divorce Court.  Morley tries to fight back again, but Wolfe awesomely fuck up his arm again.  Morley finally does make a comeback.  Morley hits a full nelson slam and goes up top, but Wolfe springs to his feet and causes Morley to crotch himself on the top rope, then hits the Tower of London for the pin in 3:36.  Good little match.

Jeff Jarrett meets with Hogan and Bischoff, figurative hat in hand.  He says he’ll prove himself by starting at the bottom of the ladder if he has to.  Bischoff has the idea to put Jarrett against Ken Anderson tonight.  Jarrett’s worried about ring rust, but agrees.  Hogan tells Bischoff he’s “stiff” and to tone it down a notch.

Last week, they reenacted the Montreal Screwjob, with Kurt Angle being “screwed” by AJ Styles with help from Ric Flair and Earl Hebner.  Angle then spit in Hogan’s face and threw a fit, probably because he realizes how stupid the booking is.

AJ Styles, Ric Flair, and generic blond bimbo are in their locker room with AJ’s new suits.  They’re planning a 30 day vacation

8 Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match: Daniels vs. TNA World Tag Team Champion Hernandez.  Daniels jumps Hernandez from behind to start the match.  Hernandez hits a long stalling vertical suplex.  Daniels fails at sunset flipping Hernandez and gets Cracker Jacked.  Daniels claws at Hernandez’s eyes, then works a chin lock.  Daniels hits an STO and a Lionsault for 2.  Daniels goes for the Angel’s Wings, but fails.  Daniels sends Hernandez to the floor, but the referee stops him from going after his opponent.  Hernandez comes back in and makes his comeback.  Daniels catches Hernandez up top with the Venus palm strike and goes for a superplex, but Hernandez pushes him away.  Daniels avoids Hernandez’s diving headbutt and schoolboys him (with feet on the ropes) for 2.  Hernandez hits a big shoulder block and his weird gutwrench gut buster for the pin 4:32.  Good little match.

Tonight, Jeff Jarrett vs. Mr. Anderson!

Next, Mike Tenay plays mediator for the Nasty Boys and Team 3D!

Go to ShopTNA.com and buy TNA crap!

Mike Tenay is in the ring.  He introduces The Nasty Boys and Team 3D, who will face off at Against All Odds.  They yell and insult each other while security holds them apart.  There’s a lot of the pot calling the kettle black.  Too long and fairly stupid segment, but I do have a perverse desire to see their train wreck of a match.

Christy Hemme interviews The Beautiful People.  They say Angelina Love is old news and they’re moving on.  Man, Lacey is stupid.

Jeff Jarrett is getting ready for action!

Eric Bischoff fires Bobby Lashley.  “Taking out the trash,” he says.

The Beautiful People vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Tara & TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Awesome Kong & Hamada.  Hamada schools Rayne on how to chop, elbow, and headbutt a bitch to start.  Hamada walks the ropes and hits an arm drag.  The Beautiful People make quick tags and wring Hamada’s arm.  Hamada fights out and tags in Tara, who runs wilde on Rayne.  Standing moonsault gets 2.  Velvet get a cheap shot from the apron and lets the Rayne get the advantage.  Beauts work over Tara.  Kong tags in and kills bitches dead for a minute, then tags in Hamada, who runs wilde and kicks bitches in the head.  Tara slams Lacey.  Hamada hits a moonsault press, but Rayne saves and hits Hamada with the ugly stick.  Kong chases Sky out of the arena.  Rayne gets the pin on Hamada in 4:32.  Decent little match.  I kinda get into the Beautiful People as hot, dumb blonds.  Rayne and Lacey go to beat down Tara, but Angelina Love runs in for the save.

Hulk Hogan talks to Earl Hebner about last week’s bullshit.  Hebner says Angle’s hand hit the mat when Styles reversed the ankle lock, and that counts as a tap out.  Hogan bitches him out.  Hebner says he did it for the money, and he’s apparently mad that he doesn’t get enough credit for screwing Bret.  Hogan suspends him.

Kurt Angle is headed our way!  We see this during another of TNA’s stupid “commercial break breaks.”

Styles and Flair are chilling in the locker room.  The bimbo from earlier brings in more bimbos.  Flair picks the one he likes and they plan to party.

Bubba the Love Sponge talks to Mick Foley.  Foley doesn’t care if he gets fired.

Kurt Angle comes to the ring.  He’s sour about AJ Styles changing his ways.  Angle says he’ll win the 8 Card Stud Tournament and become champion again.  Hulk Hogan comes out.  He tells Angle he got to the bottom of the screwjob, and that he’ll fire Angle if he spits in his face again.  Angle apologizes and they shake hands.  Hogan leaves.  Syxx-Pac and Scott Hall jump Angle from behind.  Rather, Syxx-Pac jumps Angle from behind and Hall slowly waddles his way into the ring to help.  Commercials.

Moments ago, what I just wrote happened!

Security kicks Pac and Hall out of the building.  Pac says “See you next week.”

The Motor City Machine Guns & Brian Kendrick vs. TNA X Division Champion Amazing Red & Generation Me.  Kendrick jumps Red to start.  Typically awesome fast paced X Division match.  There’s no way I could transcribe all of this, so I’ll just enjoy it.  Quick tags and lots of flippy floppyness.  Red goes for the Code Red on Sabin, but Shelley superkicks him.  Guns hit a double team move on Red.  Kendrick makes the blind tag and kicks Red in the head, then shoots into a half nelson cradle for the pin in 2:38.  Awesome little TV spot fest.

With Red down and out, the British Invasion comes out.  Big Rob Terry has the X Division Title shot from Feast or Fired.  They beat up Red some more.  Terry gets ready to cash in, but Magnus tells him to give the title shot to Williams.  They argue about it.  Commercials.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Amazing Red (c) vs. Doug Williams (w/ Brutus Magnus & Rob Terry).  JIP.  Red hits a tornado DDT on Williams for 2.  They cut away to show the argument during the break.  Williams hits the Chaos Theory for the pin after about 30 seconds shown to win the title.  Big Rob doesn’t look happy.

Jeff Jarrett is pacing his locker room.  He’ll be in action tonight!

ShopTNA.com!!!EXCLAMATION!POINT!!

Bischoff and Foley are in the office.  Foley talks about his kid pooping at Chuckie Cheese.  He says he’d rather be the janitor that cleaned it up than work for Eric Bischoff.  Bischoff says he should reconsider, because Foley’s friends Abyss and Jeremy Borash’s jobs depend on it.  Bischoff leaves and walks into AJ Styles’ locker room.  They’re “partying.”  Bischoff says he and Hogan are stuck with Flair in TNA.  Bischoff says they don’t have 30 days off.

The main event is NEXT!

Mr. Anderson Anderson comes out and does his introduction of himself.  Jeff Jarrett comes out to no music and no pyro.  Did the sound guy lose his CD?  Man, that Bischoff really is a dick.  Jarrett hands his jacket off to So Cal Val and we have…

Ken Anderson vs. Jeff Jarrett.  They lock up.  Jarrett lands some blows in the corner and the referee forces him to back up.  Anderson hits Jarrett in the back repeatedly.  Jarrett sends Anderson to the floor, then struts.  Commercials.  Anderson rams Jarrett into the post.  Anderson works over Jarrett’s shoulder and makes lots of covers.  Anderson goes for the Kenton bomb, but Jarrett avoids it and makes his comeback.  Jarrett fights off the Mic Check.  Anderson fights off the Stroke with a low blow and an inside cradle for the pin in 10:47 (commercials included).  Eric Bischoff is shown being pleased by this result.  Mr. Anderson Anderson announces himself as the winner.  Anderson attacks Jarrett some more and drops him with the Mic Check.  Bischoff tells the monitor that Jarrett is going to have a long, hard climb to the top of the mountain.

This was the least horrendous iMPACT! I’ve seen in a while, so I guess I give it a thumbs up.

TNA iMPACT! 1/21/10 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

Genesis highlight video.  The name of this episode is “AJ Styles… Whooo!”

Ric Flair and the World Champion AJ Styles arrive in a limo with bimbos.

Impact open, pyro and ballyhoo, Mike Tenay and Taz.

Ric Flair comes out with bimbos.  Flair says he had 3 reasons for coming to TNA: 1.) He hates Hulk Hogan.  2.) He wants AJ Styles to be the new Nature Boy.  3.)  He nailed Dixie Carter.  That was the short version.  Be thankful.  Flair introduces AJ Styles (in a suit and with yet another bimbo).  Styles cuts a promo and comes off like a goofy kid pretending to be Ric Flair.  Kurt Angle comes out with Hulk Hogan in tow.  Hogan says he changed his mind about enforcing the Genesis stipulation and he’s giving Angle another title shot tonight.  If Flair interferes, Angle wins the title.

Matt Morgan’s New Year’s Resolution is to do more for charity.

Mick Foley is throwing a tamper backstage and looking for Eric Bischoff.

Tenay and Taz run down what’s on tap for TONIGHT!

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Matt Morgan & Hernandez (c) vs. The British Invasion.  This is the Brits’ rematch, having lost the titles at Genesis.  Williams beats up Morgan to start.  Magnus does the revolving elbows in the corner, clotheslines Williams, picks him up for a sidewalk slam, then just drops him.  Brits get the advantage on Morgan.  Hernandez gets the tag and runs wild.  Modified Border Toss thingy gets 2.  Rob Terry comes out as Williams hits a German suplex hold for 2.  Terry throws in his Feast or Fired case to Magnus.  Magnus accidentally clocks Williams, allowing Hernandez to get the pin in 4:00.  The match was meh.  Mick Foley comes out and hits the Brits with a chair, then double arm DDTs Williams onto the chair.  Foley tells the camera that Bischoff should schedule an appointment for him.

Audio clips of Jeff Jarrett on the Bubba The Love Sponge Show.  Jarrett keeps hanging up on him.

Hogan and Bischoff talk in their office.  Bischoff is going to take care of “Cactus Jack” and Hogan is going to take care of “that other thing.”  Kevin Nash comes in.  The Band is out of control and Nash is tagging with Eric Young tonight.

Orlando Jordan comes out.  Cut to Christy Hemme interviewing “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.

Orlando Jordan vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  They lock up.  Jordan does an arm drag.  I kinda wish Orlando Jordan would fuck off and die.  Pope does his slide over the guy and out of the ring deal.  Jordan hits a Dragon screw leg whip on Pope’s injured knee.  Jordan hits a Flatliner for the pin in 3:01.

Christy interviews Kurt Angle.

The Pope says every day is a new year for him.

More Jarrett on Bubba.

Nash and Eric Young talk backstage.

Beautiful People history package.

More Jarrett/Bubba.

Bobby Lashley meets with Eric Bischoff.  Despite what Lashley’s wife has been saying, he wants to wrestle in TNA.

Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love.  Rayne begs off, then gets a cheap shot in and beats up Love.  Angelina fights back and kicks her ass.  Angelina gets the pin after a thrust kick in 1:04.  She rips Rayne’s shirt off and chokes her with it.  Hot.  Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich come out.  Love fights off Lacey and Rayne at first.  They finally get the 3 on 1 beat down and Lacey hits Love with the ugly stick (a pink nightstick).

Bubba interviews Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac.  They defend Hall’s beating up of “a fan” at Genesis.

Hogan and Bischoff are headed our way!

Velvet Sky doesn’t have a New Years’ Resolution.

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come to the ring.  Hogan babbles, then calls out The Band.  Hogan really hates rock, paper, scissors, so he kicks Hall and Pac out of the building.  Mick Foley comes out.  Commercials.

Eric Young says he’ll be dominate in 2010.

Nash tells Hall and Pac he’ll take care of things, so they leave.

The Nasty Boys vs. Kevin Nash & TNA Global Champion Eric Young.  Sags and Young start.  Young tries.  Sags beats him up.  Knobs tags in and beats up Young.  Nash tags in and beats up Knobs.  Sags tags in and clotheslines Nash for 2.  Nash drops Sags tag in Young, who hits a diving elbow for 2.  Knobs take out Nash.  Nastys give Young the Pit Stop.  Sags hits a pumphandle slam on Young for the pin in 3:09.  This sucked.

Angle vs. Styles is still to come!

Ken Anderson Anderson is headed our way!

During the break, Team 3D clobbered the Nasty Boys with chair shots backstage.

Highlights of Mr. Anderson’s debut against Abyss at Genesis.

Ken Anderson comes out and talks.  Abyss sneaks in behind him.  Anderson goes on making fun of Abyss.  Abyss finally taps Anderson on the shoulder, then kicks his ass.

Brother Devon’s resolution is to be a good wrestler.  Good luck with that, buddy.

Brother Ray’s is to have fun.

Abyss apologizes to Bischoff backstage.  Bischoff says the only reason Abyss has a job is because Hogan likes him.  Bischoff goes into Hogan’s office, where Mick Foley is being restrained by security.  They agree to have a civilized discussion.  Foley yells at Bischoff.  Bischoff has the camera guy leave.  Stupid segment.  I’m just happy they didn’t cut straight to the invisible camera.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) vs. Kurt Angle.  Earl Hebner is the referee.  Just mentioning that in case it comes into play later on.  Styles jumps Angle before the bell.  Angle fights back and kicks his ass.  Angle back body drops Styles, who bails.  Angle chases him back into the ring and gets the boots put to him.  Angle hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2.  Angle hammers Styles.  A clothesline gets 2 for Angle.  Angle tries a German, but Styles holds onto the ropes and kicks him low.  Styles puts the boots to Angle.  Insta-commercial.  They trade blows in the middle of the ring.  Styles clips Angle’s leg and puts him in the figure-four leglock.  Angle escapes and hits a belly to belly overhead suplex, then goes for the Angle Slam, but Styles arm drags his way out of it.  Angle hits the rolling Germans.  Angle goes for the Slam again, but AJ avoids and hits the Pele kick, then goes for the Styles Clash.  Angle counters it and locks in the ankle lock.  Styles rolls through, locks in his own ankle lock, and Hebner IMMEDIATELY calls for the bell.  “BULLSHIT” chants.  That’s right, another lame Montreal rehash.  Hogan comes out.  Angle yells at him, accusing him of having something to do with it, “quits,” and spits on Hogan’s face.  Insta-commercial.

During the break, Angle stole Mike Tenay’s chair and beat up the set with it.

A bloody Eric Bischoff stumbles his way to the ring, takes the microphone, and fires Mick Foley.  End.

Man, what a fucking disjointed mess of a show.

TNA Genesis 2010 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 17, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  They should change it to “TNA… We are wrestling’s old folks home.”  PPV opening video, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are our hosts for the first TNA PPV of 2010.

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come down the ramp that goes all the way to the ring, which is now a normal 4 sided ring.  Hogan puts over the changes.  Crowd chants “WE WANT SIX SIDES!”  Hogan says the four sided ring is where wrestling was meant to be done.  Hogan bashes TNA’s “competitor.”  Bischoff says there’s a lot more change to come.  Hogan ends by warning Vince McMahon that TNA is coming for him.  You’d think these goofs would have learned by now that you can’t out-Vince Vince McMahon.

Tenay and Taz do their opening bit: putting over TNA, bashing the “competition,” and hyping the card for tonight.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Amazing Red (c) vs. Brian Kendrick.  Kendrick is the mystery opponent, still basically doing the “THE Brian Kendrick” gimmick.  The announcers don’t make a big deal out of Kendrick.  Kendrick applies an ARMBAR! to start.  They roll in and out of holds a bit.  Kendrick works the armbar and a crossface.  Awesome little sequence that was too quick to describe.  Red ranas Kendrick out of the ring, teases a dive, Kendrick gets back in and kinda spears him, then kicks him out of the ring.  Kendrick throws some kicks at Red’s leg and works the leg a bit.  The announcers talk about Bobby Lashley claiming that he’s not going to wrestle tonight.  Kendrick keeps working the leg.  Red fights back, sends Kendrick out of the ring, and takes him out with a flip dive from the top rope.  The announcers keep mentioning Brooke Hogan at ringside.  Back inside, Red hits a dropkick off the top for 2.  Red comes off the top for another move, but Kendrick avoids him and applies a half crab.  More torture for the leg.  Red lands a kick.  They trade blows.  Red takes Kendrick down with a head scissors and gets a 2 count.  Kendrick lands a one legged dropkick for 2.  He puts the boots to Red.  “X DIVISION!” chant.  Red hits a springboard Code Red for the pin in 9:04.  Match was okay, but a little slow and sloppy in places.

Bischoff and Hogan talk to The Band backstage.  They reiterate that Hall and Waltman aren’t under contracts and have to earn their spots.  Hall and Waltman play Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide which of them will wrestle tonight.  Waltman wins 2 out of 3.

Sean Morley comes out for his match.  The show his fight with Daniels last week on iMPACT!  He gives his towel to Brooke Hogan, then does the same spiel he was doing 10 years ago.  Crowd chants “WE WANT WRESTLING!”  Daniels comes out, bitches about Morley’s shtick, threatens to slap fans, and gets in the ring for…

Sean Morley vs. Daniels.  They brawl.  Daniels bails.  Morley pursues.  They trade blows back inside.  Daniels tries to bail again, but Morley won’t let him.  Morley hits a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Morley targets Daniels’ ribs.  Daniels pulls Morley across the ropes and starts getting the advantage on him.  Daniels applies something of a triangle choke.  The referee forces him to break it.  I think Morley is supposed to be the babyface here, but he’s getting booed and Daniels is getting cheered, despite Daniels being a dick to the crowd before the match.  Daniels does a swank head scissors on the ropes to choke Morley, then kicks him in the head and hits his weird sorta split legged moonsault.  Daniels continues to choke Morley at every opportunity.  Morley fights back and targets Daniels’ ribs again.  Blue Thunder Driver gets 2 for Morley.  Crowd chants “THAT’S HIS MOVE!”  Daniels does do that move, doesn’t he?  Daniels locks in the Koji Clutch.  Crowd chants “SIT DOWN BROOKE!” at Brooke Hogan, who apparently was standing up.  Daniels hits an STO for 2.  Morley avoids the BME and hits a half nelson slam, then goes up top.  Daniels hits the Venus palm strike and goes for an Iconoclasm.  Morley stops it.  Daniels hits another palm strike and tries a Frankensteiner off the top, but Morley holds on to the ropes, then hits the Money Shot for the pin in 9:07.  Fine little match, but the Impact Zone mutants hurt it.

Tara/ODB video package.  Tenay and Taz go over the Tale of the Tape.  It’s really not a Tale of the Tape.  Idiots.

2/3 Falls Match for the TNA Knockouts Championship: ODB (c) vs. Tara.  They go chest to chest, then pull each others’ hair.  ODB pulls some of Tara’s extensions out, so Tara kicks her ass.  Tara hits the standing moonsault for 2.  Tara chops ODB in the tits and ODB sells it.  Tara throws some kicks and drops ODB with an enzuigiri.  Hilo leg drop gets 2.  ODB fights back and hits a fall away slam, nips up, and gets inside cradled by Tara for the pin in 2:43 to win the first fall.  Some football player is in the crowd.  Nobody but Tenay and Taz care.  ODB beats up Tara.  Tara catches ODB with an elbow in the corner and locks in the tarantula.  ODB sends Tara to the floor with a baseball slide dropkick.  ODB stun guns Tara into the ring apron.  Ouch.  Brooke tries to help Tara and gets chastised by ODB.  ODB gets in the ring and checks her pulse.  ODB grabs Tara on the apron and throws her back in.  Cover gets 2.  ODB checks her pulse again and clamps on a body scissors.  ODB does the rolling Kobashi cradle for 2.  ODB keeps going back to the body scissors and adds a sleeper to it.  Tara finally escapes.  ODB pulls something from between her tits, then hits a running powerslam for 2.  ODB checks her pulse again.  Tara hits the Widow’s Peak for the pin at 9:34 to win it in 2 straight falls.  This match was not good at all.

Christy Hemme interviews “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  The Pope is pimpin’, according to him.

Tenay and Taz go over the Tag Lines.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: The British Invasion (c) vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez.  Magnus starts with Morgan and bails after a moment.  Back in, Magnus avoids a chokeslam and tags in Williams.  Hernandez stops the Brits from hitting the double necktie.  The Brits bail.  Back in, Williams hits Hernandez with some European uppercuts and a knee int he corner, then tries a suplex.  They counter each other, then Hernandez hits a back body drop on Williams.  Hernandez uses his shirt to toss Williams.  Williams catches him in the corner with a boot then dives on him.  Hernandez catches him and goes for a powerbomb, but Magnus clips his leg.  The Brits hit a double superplex on Hernandez.  Williams tags in Magnus.  Double necktie on Hernandez.  Magnus throws some punches at him and clamps on a rear chin lock.  Crowd does the “OLE!” chant to encourage Hernandez.  Magnus applies an abdominal stretch and holds hands with Williams for more leverage… or just because they’re fruits.  The referee stops the assist.  Hernandez hits a big whirly power move on Magnus.  Morgan gets the tag and cleans house.  Revolving elbows in the corner to Williams.  Taz uses his former broadcast partner’s “VINTAGE!” line.  Williams hits a diving European uppercut.  Hernandez drops Williams.  Magnus drops Hernandez.  Morgan drops Magnus.  Morgan chokeslams Williams for 2.  Magnus decks Hernandez to knock him off the apron, then kicks Morgan into a German from Williams for 2.  Magnus tags in.  Brits try some double teaming, but Morgan deals with them both.  He tosses Williams off the top rope.  Hernandez takes on Williams, then hits something of a reverse powerbomb on Magnus.  Morgan finishes off Magnus with the Carbon Footprint for the pin in 8:51.  This wasn’t very good either.  The new champs celebrate.

Bobby Lashley barges into Bischoff’s office, where Bischoff is talking to Abyss.  Abyss kicks Lashley’s ass and whacks him with a monitor of some sort.  Bischoff is mad at Abyss for taking out his opponent for tonight, even though Abyss was just trying to protect Bischoff.  Hogan comes in and tells he’s going to have a match tonight.  They talk about being crazy.

Desmond Wolfe (w/ generic bimbo) vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Pope kisses Wolfe’s companion, which prompts a “POPE IS PIMPIN’!” chant.  They go at it.  Pope takes a light bump to the outside.  Pope comes back and locks Pope  into something like a reverse tarantula.  Diving fist drop from Pope gets 2.  Pope hits his “slide over the other guy out of the ring” move and appears to hurt his knee.  Wolfe goes after him and says he’s no dummy.  Wolfe works Pope’s knee.  Pope fights back and manages to avoid the Tower of London, then spears Wolfe.  Pope hits a weird but neat suplex for 2.  I got distracted for a minute, then Pope got an inside cradle for 2.  Pope tries a backslide, but Wolfe counters.  Pope gets another inside cradle for 2.  Pope hits a whiplash move for 2.  Pope hits sort of an Alabama Slam for 2.  Pope goes for the Elijah Express, but Wolfe nails him with the jawbreaker lariat for the pin 13:31.  It was fine, but nothing you’re going to remember tomorrow.

Tenay and Taz talk about what we’ve seen and what’s still to come.

Jeremy Borash is in the back to do some sort of interview.  Eric Bischoff interrupts and tells him he’s taking him off television.  He hands the mic to Christy Hemme.  Ric Flair steps in, so Christy decides to interview him.  He’s not ready to explain what the hell he’s doing in TNA.

The Band/Beer Money video package.

Kevin Nash & Syxx-Pac vs. Beer Money.  Waltman is announced as “Syxx-Pac,” so I guess that’s the name he’s going with this time around.  Pac and Storm start.  Pac feigns some kicks, then gets hip tossed and arm dragged.  Crowd chants “HOGAN SUCKS!” I think.  Tag to Roode, some double teaming, and knee drop to Pac for 2.  Nash tags in and there goes any chance of this match being good.  Roode throws some chops at Nash, then tries to knock him down with clotheslines but fails twice, finally succeeds on the third.  Tag to Storm.  Beer Money does the wishbone spot to Nash, then drop toe holds Pac into Nash’s balls.  The Band works over Storm.  Nash is shockingly spry at one point in stopping Storm from tagging out.  Storm hits a Codebreaker on Nash.  Pac tags in.  Roode gets the hot tag and cleans house on Pac.  Nash comes in and gets dealt with by Roode as well.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Pac and covers, but Nash saves.  Nash charges Roode in the corner and gets kicked in the head by Storm.  Beer Money double suplexes Pac and does the BEER!  MONEY! post.  Scott Hall comes out and distracts Beer Money.  Nash runs through them with a double clothesline.  Chokeslam to Roode gets 2.  Hall beats up a “fan.”  Pac goes to restrain him.  Storm superkicks Nash, leading to Roode getting the pin with a jackknife hold in 9:44.  Match was good in parts, but the end was a confusing mess.

Hulk Hogan tells Eric Bischoff that he’s going to deal with The Band this Thursday on Impact.  They’re such douches.  Oh, and TNA has finally introduced the invisible camera.

Abyss vs. Ken Anderson.  Mr. “Don’t call me Kennedy” Anderson is the big surprise that Hogan talked about on Impact.  He does his hole introducing himself bit before the match.  Anderson slaps Abyss.  Abyss slugs him back and drops him.  Kennedy gets shoved around, then hammers Abyss with punches.  More back and forth brawling.  Anderson clips Abyss’ knee, then kicks him in the arm.  Abyss bails.  Anderson follows him out  and smacks the bad arm against anything he can find.  Crowd chants “OVERRATED!” at Anderson.  He grabs a chair, but Abyss kicks it out of his hands and fights back.  Anderson chokes Abyss with a boot back inside.  Anderson sends Abyss into the turnbuckle and schoolboys him for 2.  Anderson continues working the arm.  Abyss comes back and drops Anderson with a big boot, whips him into the corner, wastes a bunch of time clapping his hands, then squashes Anderson in the corner.  Sidewalk slam gets 2.  Anderson rakes Abyss’ eyes to escape the Shock Treatment and hits a hangman’s neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson comes off the top and gets caught and chokeslammed.  Cover gets 2.  Abyss hits the Shock Treatment for 2.  Abyss brings in a chair.  Anderson pulls a pair of brass knucks out of his trunks.  The referee takes the chair away  and goes to put it away.  While his back is turned. Anderson KO’s Abyss with the knucks and gets the pin in 10:36.  Yeah, this one wasn’t any good either.  Anderson announces himself as the winner while still selling the beating.

Angle/Styles video package.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) vs. Kurt Angle.  They lock up.  The crowd is obnoxious.  They wrestle, and it’s good, but the crowd has to do their obnoxious dueling chants.  Then they chant “YOU’RE BOTH AWESOME!”  I want to personally strangle them all.  Angle takes Styles down, so Styles bails.  Styles takes Angle down, so Angle bails.  Man this crowd is so fucking annoying.  Why the fuck do they feel the need to chant constantly?  Angle gets a schoolboy for 2.  More fast wrestling.  Man this would be great in front of a decent crowd.  They work a Greco Roman knuckle lock.  Man, I don’t know why the mutants are bothering me so much today.  Styles hits a dropkick and clamps on a rear chin lock.  More stuff happens.  Styles elbows Angle out of the ring and tries to dive, but Angle pulls him down and sends AJ’s face into the apron.  Angle rolls Styles back in and covers for 2.  Angle hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker for 2.  More stuff happens.  Angle hits a release German suplex on Styles, then puts the boots to him in the corner.  Another backbreaker gets 2 for Angle.  Styles starts fighting back, then they hit each other with cross body blocks.  Ric Flair comes out and stands at ringside.  Angle and Styles trade blows.  Styles sends Angle to the floor and hits a suicide dive.  Man, those guardrails are awfully close to the ring in this new set up.  Back side, Angle catches AJ with a boot in the corner, then AJ hits that fireman’s carry backbreaker thing.  AJ hits the springboard forearm for 2.  Angle backdrops out of the Styles Clash and hits the rolling Germans on Styles.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Styles arm drags out of it.  Styles tries a German, but Angle goes behind and hits another release German for 2.  Styles avoids the Angle Slam again and hits the Pele kick for 2.  Styles goes for the Clash again, but Angle rams him into the corner.  Angle drops Styles with aclothesline for 2.  Angle goes for the ankle lock, but Styles avoids it and drops Angle with a clothesline.  Styles hits a diving rana, then goes for the springboard 450, but Angle moves.  Angle hits the Angle Slam, but Styles kicks out.  Angle goes for his gorgeous moonsault, but Styles moves out of the way.  Styles goes for the Styles Clash again, but Angle counters and locks in the ankle lock.  AJ fights out, gets backdropped to the apron and hits a springboard cross body for 2.  Styles tries a Styles Clash from the top, fails, dives at Angle.  Angle catches him and hits AJ with his own Styles Clash for a 2 count.  Angle tries the Angle Slam again, but Styles turns it into a DDT.  Styles hits Angle’s own Angle Slam for 2.  Styles goes up top.  Angle sprints up and hits the Angle Slam off the top.  Styles kicks out at 2.  Okay Kurt, you’ve officially killed your finish.  Happy?  Angle locks in the ankle lock again.  Styles tries to fight out, but Angle keeps it clamped on.  Angle grapevines the leg.  Ric Flair pulls referee Earl Hebner out of the ring just in time for him to not see Styles tap out.  Angle goes after Flair, chasing him out of and into the ring.  Styles drops Angle with a clothesline.  Flair throws AJ the belt to use as a weapon.  AJ nails Kurt with the belt.  Flair throws Hebner into the ring to count the pin in 28:47.  And here I was thinking that TNA was going to get through a whole PPV without anyone interfering for the finish.  It was still a good match, but I thought their TV match was loads better.  Styles and Flair celebrate to end the show.

Man, this was not a good show.  Hogan and Bischoff are obviously booking what they want and not giving a fuck what the fans (even if they are annoying morons in the Impact Zone) want, which Hogan made clear in his opening promo.  Fuck this company.

TNA iMPACT! 1/14/10 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 14, 2010 by Grappleholic

The show starts with highlights of the January 4 Impact.  Ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the hosts.

Generation Me vs. The Motor City Machine Guns.  Well this is awesome on paper.  Generation Me are the Young Bucks.  Sabin starts with the dark haired one.  Quick tag to Shelley.  Apparently the Bucks’ new names are Max and Jeremy.  I’m still not sure which is which.  They show “The Band,” Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Sean Waltman arriving.  The dark haired Buck hits a sweet neckbreaker off the top on Sabin, then tags in the light haired one.  Tenay says the light haired one is Jeremy.  Jeremy takes out Shelley with an Asai moonsault, then hits a swank springboard facebuster on Sabin.  Tag to Max.  Sabin tries to fight them both, but they double team him.  Taz says “Who are these young bucks?”  Tag to Shelley, who hits a diving thrust kick on Max.  Max spears Shelley.  Stereo splash/standing moonsault by Generation Me.  Sabin saves.  Shelley hits the Complete Shot into the turnbuckle on Max.  Sabin takes out Jeremy.  Guns double team Max again.  Jeremy saves.  Jeremy avoids a Sabin dive to the outside.  Jeremy superkicks Shelley.  Max pins Shelley at 5:00 after the More Bang For Your Buck.  Great little sprint.

The Nasty Boys are still in Team 3D’s locker room, which they’ve completely trashed.  Team 3D  knocks on the door.  The Nastys tell them in girly voices that it isn’t their locker room anymore.  Stupid.

Video package of Hulk Hogan announcing that Kurt Angle will challenge AJ Styles for the World Title at Genesis, but it’s Angle’s last shot at Styles.  Also, a new “Impact player” will debut at Genesis.

Kurt Angle comes out and talks.  AJ Styles comes out to retort.  They shake hands and hug.  After Angle leaves, the masked man beats up Styles.  He unmasks to reveal Tomko, then leaves.

Christy Hemme interviews The Band.  She calls Waltman “Syxx-Pac.”  What name are they using, then?  Bubba The Love Sponge takes over the interview.  They beat up Mick Foley last week, and now nobody knows where he is.

The Beautiful People come out for their match. Velvet Sky is happy to see Angelina Love in the front row.

Non-Title: The Beautiful People (w/ Lacey Von Erich) vs. TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Awesome Kong & Hamada. Sky and Hamada start. Velvet gets the better of Hamada. The Beauts try double teaming, but Hamada trips them and tags in Kong, who kills them. Awesome Bomb to Rayne gets the pin at 1:56. Love comes in the ring, seemingly to check on Rayne, but then beats up Rayne and Velvet.

AJ Styles goes into Eric Bischoff’s office looking for Hogan. Bischoff says Hogan is fucking off somewhere. He wants Tomko tonight. Bischoff says he can have the match if he puts the title on the line. Styles agrees.

Beer Money is looking for Eric Bischoff. More commercials. Seriously, there was a commercial, then like a 20 second clip where Beer Money is looking for Bischoff, then more commercials.

Jeremy Borash goes into the Hogan/Bischoff room.  Bischoff is apparently talking to the mystery man.  Borash asks about Mick Foley’s whereabouts.  Bischoff chews him out for letting Foley into the building last week.  Beer Money comes in.  They want the Outsiders at the PPV.  Bischoff drinks Storm’s beer, then tells them he’ll get back to them.

Lethal Consequences comes out for a match against Team 3D.  Bobby Lashley jumps them and kills them both as Kristal looks on approvingly.  Kristal says Lashley will continue to beat people up until she gets her meeting with Hogan.  They leave.  Team 3D comes out, with Bubba carrying an axe.

Lethal Consequences vs. Team 3D.  3D on Creed.  Devon gets the pin.  I didn’t get to time it, but it was around 10 seconds.  Bubba cuts a promo on the Nasty Boys.  He says they’re going to the back to take their locker room back.

Bubba cuts down the door with the axe.  3D finds their locker room trashed.  The Nasty Boys jump them from behind, throw stuff at them, and leave them laying.

Tomko video, talking about his former tag team with AJ Styles.  Didn’t he just reveal himself half an hour ago?

Sean Morley comes out as Tenay announces that Lashley vs. Abyss has been added to Genesis.  Apparently he’s now directing, producing, and distributing porn instead of acting in it.  They randomly cut to a disgusted looking girl in the crowd.  He wants to create a TNA Films division.  Christopher Daniels comes out.  He acts happy and welcomes Morley to TNA, turns on him, and stomps a mudhole in him, then drops him with a Rock Bottom and hits the BME.  Daniels bitches at him on the mic.  Morley wakes up and clotheslines Daniels to the floor.

Tara/ODB video.  They’ll meet at Genesis in a 2/3 Falls Match.  I don’t care.

Jeff Jarrett (w/ guy in suit) is in the building!

Another random bit of show in the middle of the commercial: Matt Morgan and Hernandez are working out before their match with Beer Money.

Matt Morgan & Hernandez vs. Beer Money.  I got distracted during the first minute.  Beer Money suplexes Hernandez, then does the BEER! MONEY! post, which Morgan interrupts and drops them both.  Hernandez hits a springboard double clothesline on Beer Money, then pounces Roode across the ring, then takes on Beer Money with a suicide dive, then whistles.  Rob Terry attacks Hernandez to cause the DQ at 2:42.  They beat him backstage.  The Band comes out and beats down Beer Money.  Security and refs try to break it up.  Eric Bischoff comes out and stands on the stage.  Commercial.

Moments ago, what I just typed moments ago happened.  During the break, Bischoff told Beer Money that the next round is on him.  Does that mean they get their match?

Now, Bischoff talks to The Band in the ring.  He makes the match official.  Nash, Hall, and Waltman hug.  Sting is in the rafters.

Another Tomko video.  He’s mad because AJ never returned his phone calls.

Tenay and Taz reviewed the tape during the break, and their SURE that Sting is in the rafters.  Regular Holmes and Watson, those two.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Samoa Joe.  D’Angelo Dinero is on commentary.  He’ll face Wolfe at Genesis.  Joe hammers Nigel with punches, squashes him in the corner, kicks him.  Nigel fights back.  Joe hits the snap powerslam for 2.  Joe goes for the choke.  Nigel escapes.  Joe hits an STO.  Nigel counters another STO and gets awesome.  Nigel goes for the Tower of London, but Joe locks in the choke from the top rope.  Nigel hits the Tower of London anyway for the pin at 3:24.  Good little match.  So Cal Val replaces Nigel’s jacket and sunglasses.  Nigel tells Pope “If I can beat Joe, I can beat you.”

Ric Flair arrives in a limo.  He’s going to do color commentary!

Tomko video.  He put on a mask and attacked AJ a bunch.

Jeff Jarrett invades Hogan’s office and yells about “his company” a bunch.  He says TNA is and has always been him, that the young guys aren’t worth a damn.  Bischoff tells off Jarrett.  Jarrett yells at Hogan some more.  Hogan threatens to kick Jarrett’s ass.  Jarrett bitches down.

Tenay and Taz run down the Genesis card.

Ric Flair comes out to do commentary on the main event.  Commercials!

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) vs. Tomko.  AJ jumps Tomko before JB can finish the introductions.  They fight.  Kurt Angle comes out to observe.  He shakes hands and hugs Flair.  Tomko powerslams Styles for 2.  Tomko with a big boot for 2.  Commercials.  Tomko has Styles in a rear chin lock.  Commercials.  Tomko hits a powerslam for 2.  AJ starts fighting back and rocks him with an enzuigiri and the Pele kick for the pin in 7:50.  Match was kind a lame.  They keep fighting after the match.  Angle runs off Tomko.  Styles refuses to shake Angle’s hand.  That dick.

Genesis hype video to close the show.

Man, this was an ordeal.

TNA iMPACT! 1/4/10 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 4, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line.  History of TNA video… since this is the biggest TNA iMPACT EVER!!!  The episode title is “Time For A Change.”  Impact open.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are our commentary team.  This is the BIGGEST TNA SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF THE ENTIRE KNOWN UNIVERSE!  Tenay and Taz run down tonight’s card.

Footage earlier today of Bubba the Love Sponge interviewing fans.

Steel Asylum Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Homicide vs. Kiyoshi vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide vs. Amazing Red (c).  Everybody starts fighting as Suicide immediately tries to escape, but Red stops him.  Lethal Consequences double team Sabin.  Shelley and Lethal both try to escape.  Kiyoshi stops Lethal.  Red kicks Suicide in the head.  Sabin hits a tornado DDT on Kiyoshi.  Lethal finally goes after Shelley.  Suicide with a move on Red.  Lethal with the Lethal Combination on Suicide.  Sabin kicks somebody.  Kiyoshi drops Sabin.  Creed press slams Kiyoshi into double knees.  Everybody hits moves.  Suicide tries to escape, but Red fights him.  Red comes off the top of the Asylum and hits a rana on Sabin.  World Elite double teams Red.  Homicide hits people with a baton.  The bell rings at 4:05, ruling it a no-contest.  THE FUCK?  Crowd chants “THIS IS BULLSHIT!”  I agree.  Everybody wakes up and beats up Homicide.  Jeff Hardy’s old TNA music hits and he comes through the crowd.  Homicide jumps him.  Hardy kicks his ass and kills him with a chair shot and gives him the Twist of Fate on the ramp.  Hardy sits on top of the Asylum.

Way to go, TNA… first match and I already have a headache.  Way to shit on the fans AND show you’re morons by signing a guy who’s facing charges for drug possession.

Moments ago… Jeff Hardy did stuff.  Now… Jeff Hardy shakes hands with Shannon Moore in the back.

Hulk Hogan’s limo is getting a police escort to the Impact Zone.

Christy Hemme interviews Kevin Nash.  Nash talks about Hogan.  He says Hulk is on his way, and he’s not alone.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Tara (c) vs. ODB.  ODB jumps Tara immediately.  Tara catches her with an elbow and drops her with a clothesline.  They trade chops.  Tara throws kicks and lands an enzuigiri.  Tara with a slam and the standing moonsault for 2.  Tara with the tarantula, then a hilo leg drop for 2.  Tara tries to set up the Widows’ Peak, but ODB counters and goes for the TKO.  Tara goes for it again.  ODB counters again and schoolgirls her with a handful of tights her to win the title at 2:21.  Tara gives ODB the Widow’s Peak after the match, then puts the spider on her.

A limo pulls up and RIC FLAIR gets out!  He shakes hands with Beer Money, Eric Young, some refs, then goes into the bathroom.

Earlier today… Christy Hemme talks to fans.  Mick Foley shows up.  He’s been barred from the Impact Zone.  He promises to be on his best behavior, but security still won’t let him in.

Bobby and Kristal Lashley come to the ring.  Kristal babbles.  Everyone boos her.  She says Lashley wants his release from TNA, because they have better things to do.  They leave.

Velvet Sky leads a camera man into a Beautiful People poker game.  Is Lacey’s gimmick that she’s stupid?  Oh, so they’re all stupid.  And now they’re playing strip poker.

Scott Hall and Sean Waltman try to get into the building.  They choke the security guards.

Tenay and Taz babble about Twitter and Hogan.

Some shenanigans with Hogan’s limo.

Hall and Waltman come into the crowd and sit down.

Hulk Hogan comes to the ring.  He’s wearing all black and has nWo rip off music.  Hogan says he’s been in the back all day long, even though his limo supposedly just arrived.  This fucking show…  He says TNA will be the #1 company in the world.  Yeah, and I’m the next Pope.  Hall and Waltman jump the rail.  Security tries to stop them, but Hogan says let them through.  Hall runs through his catchphrases.  He wants to get the band back together and party.  Hogan says things aren’t like that anymore.  Waltman disagrees.  Hogan says things are totally different now.  They continue to bicker.  Nash comes out.  He tells Hall and Waltman to let Hogan play his role tonight.  Hogan says he’s here to change the company for the better.  The old goat probably really believes that, too.  Nash asks Hogan when he turned corporate.  Hogan again says that it’s a different time.  Eric Bischoff comes out.  Bischoff tells them everybody has to earn their spot in TNA.  Nash says “We hear ya loud and clear, talk to ya later.”  Nash, Hall, and Waltman leave.  Hogan and Bischoff talk more about everything changing.  Dixie Carter looks on approvingly from the crowd.  Bischoff asks for a format of the show.  He rips it up and gives So Cal Val a new one to hand to whoever.  Bischoff says they’re going to turn the company upside down.  I think they’ve got a good start on that.  Ugh, this fucking show.  Sting is in the rafters.

Moments ago… Sting was in the rafters.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Match: Taylor Wilde & Sarita (c) vs. Awesome Kong & Hamada.  Sarita and Hamada lock up and do some awesome wrestling.  Tag to Wilde, who hits a swank diving arm drag.  Somebody laid out the Motor City Machine Guns in the back.  Kong falls on Sarita for a 2 count.  Wilde throws dropkicks at Kong.  Wilde and Sarita finally take her out of the ring with a double dropkick.  Wilde and Sarita to the outside with dives.  Insta-commercial.  The heels work over Wilde.  Wilde avoids the Awesome Bomb and hits a Codebreaker, then makes the lukewarm tag to Sarita.  Sarita ducks Kong’s clothesline, then eats Hamada’s foot.  They half ass double team Sarita.  Wilde with a rana to Hamada.  Sarita tries it on Kong, who sits on her.  Wilde saves.  Kong with the spinning back first to the leg.  Hamada sends Wilde into the post.  Kong gets Wilde up for the powerbomb.  Hamada comes off the top with a dropkick to add oomph to it.  Kong gets the pin on Sarita (5:47 shown).

The Beautiful People are still playing poker.  Val Venis comes in, but won’t let them say his name.  They finally agree to let him play.

Mick Foley is still trying to get into the building.  The Nasty Boys show up.  Security won’t let them in either.

Raven & Stevie Richards (w/ Daffney) vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez.  Winners get a Tag title shot at Genesis, apparently.  The big dudes kick ass.  Morgan pins Stevie with the Carbon Footprint at 38 seconds.

Christy interviews D’Angelo Dinero.  He’ll face Desmond Wolfe tonight.  Orlando Jordan of all people interrupts.  He’s looking for Hogan, who invited him.  Orlando Jordan?  Seriously?

Desmond Wolfe vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Dinero shines, which is fine.  Wolfe starts kicking his ass, which rules.  I love the way he attacks his opponent’s arm.  Pope avoids him in the corner and hits a Vader Bomb-style elbow.  Wolfe attacks the arm again, then goes for the Tower of London.  Wolfe ducks an elbow and goes for a backslide, but Dinero gets him with an inside cradle for the pin at 2:38.  These two could have a good match if they had some time.

Jeff Jarrett is here!

Jeremy Borash finds that Rhino has been jumped.  Bubba the Love Sponge takes over the… interview?

Tenay and Taz talk about the “awesome” night.  Replays of Hogan’s interview from earlier.  The video freezes at Hogan on the entrance ramp for a long time.

Tenay and Taz talk.

JB interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, AJ Styles.  He’ll defend against Kurt Angle at Genesis.  Eric Bischoff interrupts.  Bischoff tells Styles that his title defense against Angle won’t be at Genesis, it will be tonight.  Video finally unfreezes.  AJ is excited.

Jeff Jarrett comes to the ring.  He talks about founding TNA and having the company last way longer than anyone thought it would.  He talks some more.  Hogan appears on the screen and tells Jarrett that he ran the company into the ground.  Hogan is now Dixie Carter’s partner.  He claims he’s going to give the young guys a shot.  I’ll believe that when I see it.  Hogan says Jarrett has no more stroke, and he has to lace up his boots and earn his spot just like everyone else.

Christy interviews Christopher Daniels, who seems to have found his first name.  JB interrupts.  He’s on the phone with Mick Foley.  Foley finally gets into the arena.  He has words for Hogan.

Jeff Hardy paints as Shannon Moore watches.  They’re going to meet with “the big man.”

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe.  Abyss was supposed to face Rhino tonight, but Rhino is napping on the job, so it’s now Abyss vs. Joe.  Joe kicks ass to start.  Abyss manages to drop Joe with a big boot.  Joe bails.  Abyss follows him out.  Joe swings a chair, but Abyss ducks and Joe clobbers the post.  Back into the ring.  Joe kicks ass some more.  Abyss fights back.  Sidewalk slam gets 2.  Joe comes off the middle rope with a kick for 2.  Joe hammers away at Abyss.  Abyss tries to Hulk up, so Joe kicks him down.  Joe comes off the middle rope, but Abyss catches him with a chokeslam for 2.  Joe clobbers Abyss with a chair while the ref is distracted.  Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch for the win at 4:49.  It was fine, I guess.

Bischoff is talking to a producer.  Kristal Lashley tells him that Bobby Lashley wants his release.  Bischoff doesn’t care.  Kristal demands a meeting with Hogan.  Bischoff tells her to take a number and get in line, and to drop the attitude if she talks to Hogan.  Kristal threatens to tell her husband on Bischoff.  Bischoff still doesn’t care.

Bubba the Love Sponge finds that Beer Money has been jumped.

The Nasty Boys are still trying to get into the building.  Bubba distracts the security guard so they can slip into the building.

JB interviews Kurt Angle.  He says tonight, he’s taking his title back.

Hardy and Moore got the big envelopes they came for.  Three screaming girls run up to them.  Jeff gives them his painting.  He and Moore get into their car and leave.

The Nasty Boys invade Team 3D’s locker room.  3D are in Japan.  The security guard who wouldn’t let them in gives them donuts.  The Nastys beat the donut guy up, then trash 3D’s locker room.  I have a perverse desire to see 3D vs. The Nasty Boys.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) vs. Kurt Angle.  Earl Hebner is the referee, if you’re keeping score.  They start with great wrestling.  AJ leap frogs, ducks, and dropkicks.  Angle bails.  AJ teases a dive.  Angle avoids.  AJ kicks him and takes him out with a suicide dive.  Back into the ring.  A masked man attacks Styles.  Angle clotheslines the masked man out of the ring.  Angle helps AJ up and they continue wrestling.  Angle powerbombs Styles into the turnbuckle.  Insta-commercial.  They continue to be awesome.  They’re going all out tonight.  I’m glad somebody is.  Styles goes for the springboard forearm, but Angle catches him with a belly to belly.  More greatness.  AJ with a discus clothesline for 2.  Styles for the Styles Clash.  Angle catapults him into the turnbuckle and hits rolling Germans.  Angle counters the Pele into the ankle lock.  AJ rolls through into a cradle for 2.  Pele kick for 2.  More stuff.  Angle with the Angle Slam for 2.  Styles hits the springboard forearm, then goes up top.  Angle hits a suplex off the top for 2.  Angle goes for a frog splash.  AJ moves.  AJ hits the Styles Clash for 2.  Styles goes for a superplex.  Angle fights him off and hits a frog splash for 2.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Styles turns it into a DDT for 2.  Angle counters out of the Styles Clash and locks in the ankle lock.  Styles fights out.  Angle with a sick release German for 2.  AJ with the Phenomenon for 2.  Styles goes up top again.  Angle fights him and hits the Angle Slam off the top and STYLES KICKS OUT.  Angle applies the ankle lock again.  Styles rolls through and sends Angle into the turnbuckle.  Styles lands an enzuigiri and the Styles Clash for the 1, 2, ANGLE KICKS OUT.  Styles goes for the Clash again.  Angle turns it into the ankle lock and grapevines it.  Ric Flair walks out and watches from the stage.  AJ escapes the ankle lock and hits a backdrop suplex.  AJ hits the springboard 450, and ANGLE KICKS OUT AGAIN!  Insta-commercial.  Angle has Styles in a triangle choke.  AJ goes for the Clash again.  Angle locks in the ankle lock again.  Styles fights out again.  Flair randomly leaves.  AJ hits the Styles Clash.  Styles hits another springboard 450 for the victory (about 15 minutes shown).  Holy shit this match ruled.  Angle and Styles shake hands and hug after the match.  Hogan comes out to the stage and calls Styles and Angle the 2 greatest wrestlers alive today.  He continues to talk.  Somebody whispers in his ear that Mick Foley is in the back looking for him…

Mick Foley stomps around backstage.  He breaks into the Beautiful People/Val Venis poker game.  Val tells him where Hogan’s office is.  Foley finds Bischoff instead.  Bischoff tells Foley that he has no power, and he has to prove himself like everybody else.  Foley says he made peace with working for Dixie Carter, he could make peace with working for Hogan, but he would never work for Bischoff again.  Foley threatens to knock Bischoff’s teeth out.  Nash, Hall, and Waltman jump Foley.  Hogan looks on as the show ends.

Man, other than that one awesome match, this show sucked donkey dick.