Archive for Bob Uecker

WWE WrestleMania XXVI

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

Justin Roberts welcomes us to WrestleMania, then Fantasia sings “American The Beautiful.”  After that, we get the usually awesome WrestleMania opening video.

Slim Jim and WWE present WrestleMania!  AWESOME pyro and ballyhoo.  The University of Phoenix Stadium is a big fucking building.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announce team.  Justin Roberts is ring announcer for the first match.  Also, the Spanish announce table is back!  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich!

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. John Morrison & R-Truth.  Former partners Miz and Morrison start.  Morrison lands a big dropkick for 2.  Morrison slams Miz and makes the tag to R-Truth.  Morrison hits a flippy leg drop and Truth hits a diving leg drop for 2.  Truth does his big side kick, then Big Show tags in.  R-Truth tries, but Show hits a big fall away slam.  Show shoves Morrison off the apron and goes for the Vader Bomb on R-Truth.  Morrison springs back up and hits a kick from the apron.  Truth covers for 2.  Morrison and Miz tag and do their thing.  Morrison hits a flap jack.  Miz gets a Brisco Roll out of the corner, but Morrison rolls through and knees Miz in the face.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain, but misses when Show pulls Miz out of the ring.  Truth dives at Show, but gets caught and posted.  Miz comes back in and covers Morrison for 2.  Miz goes for his finish, but Morrison neatly turns it into a cradle for 2.  Show makes the tag.  Morrison goes for the Flying Chuck while Show is still on the apron, but Show catches him with the KO punch for the pin in 3:24.  Good little match while it lasted.

Clips of Axxess and other happenings of WrestleMania week.

Triple Threat Match: Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton.  They square off, with Rhodes and Dibiase on the same page.  Orton takes the fight to both of them.  Dibiase cuts him off with a dropkick and they double team him.  Orton fights back, but gets cut off again.  Rhodes lands a knee drop and goes up top for a moonsault.  Dibiase covers Orton behind Rhodes’ back.  Rhodes breaks the cover and throws Dibiase out of the ring, then hits the Alabama Slam on Orton for 2, as Dibiase makes it back it to save.  Dibiase decks Rhodes and they fight.  Orton makes a comeback on both of them.  Orton hits the 3.0 on Rhodes and goes into his mat humping routine.  Dibiase pulls him out of the ring.  Rhodes does a dive, but Orton avoids it and only Dibiase gets hit.  Orton catches them both coming back in and hits a DOUBLE DDT OF MURDER!  Orton humps the mat again, preparing to hit the RKO on Rhodes.  He rethinks it and hits the PUNT OF DOOM instead.  Dibiase comes back in and goes for the Dream Street, but Orton counters and hits the RKO for the pin in 9:01.  It had its moments, but it was mostly pretty meh.  There’s this awesome round video screen that lowers to the ring and shows the guy’s logo at various points in the show.

Please, Don’t Try This!

Josh Matthews interviews Vickie Guerrero, with Michelle McCool, Maryse, Layla, and Alicia Fox.  Vickie talks to massive heat.  Jillian Hall steps in and sings horribly.  The other women leave her and Santino Marella steps in.  He bites into a Slim Jim and Jillian turns into Mae Young, who kisses him.  He bites it again and Mae turns into Mean Gene Okerlund.  He bites it again and Gene turns into Melina.  Santino seems satisfied with this.  That was stupid.

Savannah gets on the show as the ring announcer for Money In The Bank.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian.  Everybody brawls.  Somebody throws in a ladder and McIntyre immediately sets it up and climbs.  Hardy knocks it over.  McIntyre takes Bourne’s knees, Hardy’s Twist of Fate, and MVP’s Yakuza kick in short order.  Everybody tries to climb the ladder and everybody cuts everybody else off.  Kane chokeslams Bourne out of the ring onto MVP and Benjamin.  Hardy and Swagger fight on top of the ladder, but Kingston uses another ladder to knock that ladder over.  Christian whips Hardy into Swagger in the corner, throws a ladder against them, and monkey flips Kofi into the ladder.  Christian tries to climb the other ladder, but Ziggler cuts him off with a fucked up Zig Zag off of the ladder.  Ziggler climbs, but MVP cuts him off.  MVP clips, but Kane cuts him off, rams him into the ladder, and goes for a chokeslam, but Kofi hits Kane with a ladder.  Kofi, Shelton, and MVP ram a ladder into Kane.  Kofi runs up it and punches Kane, then takes a bump into the ladder.  MVP Yakuza kicks Kane.  Benjamin hits the Paydirt on MVP.  McIntyre gets hit by somebody/something.  Shelton climbs a ladder, but Swagger hits him with the other ladder, then hits Kane and MVP with the ladder.  Bourne comes off the top with the double knees on Swagger.  Bourne puts the boots to Swagger, then Christian and Hardy ram two ladders into Swagger, who is stuck between the original ladder.  There’s now a crazy ladder platform thing.  Hardy takes a bump off the ladder.  Christian goes for the Killswitch on Bourne off of the horizontal ladder.  Bourne counters him and hits a Shooting Star press!  Bourne goes for the prize, but Hardy cuts him off and hip tosses him off the ladder.  BIG BUMP.  Swagger cuts Hardy off and sends him for another BIG BUMP into the remaining horizontal ladder.  Man, trying to describe these matches is difficult.  MVP and Shelton fight on top of a ladder.  MVP takes a bump, then tries to powerbomb Shelton, but Shelton turns it into a rana that takes them both of the ring.  Kane clotheslines them with a ladder.  Kane climbs the ladder in the ring, but Ziggler climbs over him.  Kane pushes the ladder over, sending Ziggler into the ropes.  Kane throws the ladder at Ziggler, who ducks.  Shelton brings another ladder in.  Kane chokeslams Ziggler onto the ladder.  Fucking OUCH.  Kane sandwiches Ziggler in the ladder and kills him with it, breaking the ladder.  Kofi hits the Trouble In Paradise on Kane.  Instead of getting a functional ladder, Kofi uses the two ladder halves as stilts.  Funny, but stupid.  McIntyre cuts him off and sends him into the top rope and out of the ring.  McIntyre brings in a working ladder and climbs for the prize.  Hardy comes in to cut him off, but McIntyre rams his face into the ladder.  Hardy pushes the ladder over and McIntyre crotches himself on the top rope.  Hardy sets the ladder back up as Kane tries to set up another ladder.  Hardy kicks him away.  Christian climbs Kane’s ladder and rides it over to fight Hardy.  Kane climbs up the other side of the 2 ladders and goozles them both, but they fight him off.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Christian hits the reverse DDT off the top of the ladder.  Christian climbs again, but Swagger cuts him off.  Christian climbs the other ladder, but Swagger climbs up the other side and swings the briefcase into Christian’s face to knock him off.  Swagger takes forever to unhook the briefcase, but eventually does, and wins it in 13:44.  Surprise winner of the night.  The match was the typically fun crazy spotfest.

Extreme Rules, LIVE on PPV April 25!

The announcers talk about the Hall of Fame.  They show clips from last night’s ceremony.

Howard Finkel(!) is out to introduce the Hall of Fame Class of 2010: Stu Hart (represented by the Hart family), Wendi Richter, Mad Dog Vachon (escorted by one of the Bella Twins), Antonio Inoki, Bob Uecker, Gorgeous George (represented by former wife, Betty, who was escorted by the other Bella), and “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase!  Feel good moment.

Plug for the horrible WrestleMania theme.

Triple H/Sheamus video package.

Outside shot of the big ass stadium.  Man, I’d had trying to get out of that parking lot after the show.

Sheamus vs. Triple H.  They lock up.  Sheamus backs Triple H into the corner, shoves him, and yells at him.  They lock up again .  Triple H backs Sheamus into the corner and slaps him.  Triple H goes for an early Pedigree, but Sheamus scampers to the relative safety of the corner.  Triple H hits a suplex and a knee drop (prefixed by a crotch chop) for 2.  Sheamus bails.  Triple H follows and sends him into the barricade, then back into the ring.  Triple H clips Sheamus’ leg and locks in a figure-four leglock.  Sheamus gets a rope break.  Sheamus bails again.  Triple H follows and gets thrown into the steps.  Back inside, Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker.  Twice.  Sheamus keeps the heat on Triple H, then poses to get one of the first crowd reactions of the night.  They brawl and the dead crowd livens up a bit.  Sheamus hits a Polish hammer for 2.  Sheamus hits a running powerslam for 2.  Sheamus works Triple H’s shoulder.  Triple H rallies and spikes Sheamus with a DDT.  They trade punches, complete with “BOO, YAY!” from the crowd.  Triple H hits the high knee and the facebuster for 2.  Sheamus counters a Pedigree attempt, but Triple H hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge off the middle rope.  They counter each other’s moves until Sheamus lands the pump kick, but Triple H kicks out.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge again, fails, and Triple H hits the spinebuster for 2.  Sheamus hits the pump kick from the apron.  Sheamus picks up a limp Triple H to go for the Razor’s Edge again, but Triple H springs to life and hits the Pedigree for the pin in 12:09.  Good match.  Triple H celebrates.

Edge’s Slim Jim commercial.

Mysterio/Punk video package.

Tony Chimel makes his first appearance… er, first… speaking role!  …of the night.

CM Punk cuts his usual promo as the Straight Edge Society make their way to the ring.  Mysterio’s music plays, but he takes a while coming out because the elevator thing that was supposed to shoot up for his entrance didn’t work and he had to climb out of the hole in the stage.  He finally makes his way out in a weird looking blue Avatar outfit.

CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio has to join the Straight Edge Society if he loses.  Gallows and Serena distract Mysterio to let Punk jump him for the early advantage.  Mysterio hits a drop toe hold into the bottom turnbuckle, then tries a moonsault, but ends up getting stomped in the tree of woe.  Serena chokes him behind the referee’s back.  Mysterio avoids a baseball slide dropkick and Punk crotches himself on the post.  Outside, Punk wheelbarrows Mysterio into the steps.  Back inside, Punk clamps on a rear chin lock.  Mysterio escapes and fires some kicks and forearms.  Mysterio hits a springboard Bombs Away and tries a springboard cross body, but Punk catches him with a powerslam for 2.  Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip, but Punk avoids the kick and schoolboys Mysterio for 2.  Punk NAILS Mysterio with a kick to the head for 2.  Punk tries to hold Mysterio on the mat for a series of 2 counts.  Mysterio hits the crazy rope walk DDT that he used to do to Eddie Guerrero for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Punk catches him.  Mysterio counters the Go 2 Sleep twice and goes up top.  He does the Eddie shimmy and goes for the frog splash, but Punk moves.  Punk covers for 2.  Punk hits the knee to the corner, but Mysterio avoids the bulldog.  Mysterio counters a powerbomb and goes for the 619, but Serena covers Punk to save him.  Gallows gets on the apron to distract Mysterio.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep again, but Mysterio ranas him into the ropes and hits the 619 and the diving splash for the pin in 6:30.  Really good match for the time they had.  Another 5-10 minutes they might have stolen the show.

Bret Hart/Vince McMahon video package.

Bret comes out first to a great reaction. Vince comes out and says that Bret deserves a WrestleMania sized screwing.  He shelled out a bunch of money to buy himself some lumberjacks and a guest referee… Bret’s family!  The Hart Dynasty and Bret’s brothers and sisters come out with Vince.  Bruce Hart takes off his jacket to reveal a referee shirt.  Bret says he knows the Harts all got paid up front.  Bret says there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross.  He tells Vince that the Harts are all together, and tonight will be the night Bret screwed Vince.  Vince realizes that he is, in fact, screwed.

No Holds Barred Lumberjack Match: Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon.  Bret beats up Vince.  Vince goes outside to get beaten up by some of the ringside Harts.  David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, and one of Bret’s brothers beat up Vince.  The Hart Dynasty hold Vince so Natalya can slap him.  The Hart Dynasty hits Vince with a Hart Attack on the outside, then they throw Vince back into the ring, where Bret kills him some more.  Bret attacks Vince’s leg.  Vince grabs a crowbar from under the ring and scares all of the ringside Harts into stepping back.  He tries to attack Bret with it, but Bret kills him some more, gets the crowbar, and kills him with that.  This goes on for a long time.  Bret teases the Sharpshooter, but kicks Vince in the balls a few times instead.  Bret gets tired and sits down in a chair for a bit as Vince tries to make it to his feet.  Bret hits Vince with the chair 18 times.  I counted.  Bret finally locks Vince in the Sharpshooter for the submission victory in 11:09.  This went WAY too long.  They could have accomplished the same thing in 5 minutes.  At least they had the right ending.  The Hart family celebrates.

WrestleMania XXVII will be April 3, 2011 in the Georgia Dome in Atlanta!

Justin Roberts announces the attendance at 72,219.

Edge/Jericho video package.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Edge.  They lock up and do some basic wrestling.  That’s a good way to start any match.  Edge gets the advantage and pounds Jericho in the corner.  Jericho responds in kind.  Edge hits a flapjack and goes for an early spear, but Jericho bails.  They fight on the outside for a minute.  Jericho makes it back inside first and lands a baseball slide dropkick that knocks Edge off of the apron.  Jericho hits a backdrop suplex for 2, then applies a neck/shoulder lock.  Edge fights out and avoids Jericho in the corner, causing Jericho to spear the post.  Edge hits a big kick.  Jericho slingshots Edge into the top rope, then goes for his springboard dropkick to the apron.  Edge avoids it, sends Jericho to the floor, and hits a shoulder block off of the apron.  Back inside, Edge hits a front suplex off the top rope for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Edge avoids it.  Jericho avoids Edge in the corner, but Edge hits a diving cross body.  Jericho rolls through for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho again, but fails again.  Edge hits a diving sunset flip for 2.  Jericho reverses it into a pinning predicament for 2, then kicks Edge in the face.  Edge avoids the Codebreaker and goes for the spear, but Jericho avoids it and schoolboys Edge into the Walls of Jericho.  Edge escapes.  Jericho goes for the Lionsault, but Edge avoids it and hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Jericho rocks Edge with an enzuigiri.  Edge rallies and hits the Edgecution for 2.  Jericho boots Edge in the face and comes off of the second rope with a forearm to the back of the head.  Jericho sets up for a spear.  Edge boots him in the face and goes for the spear himself, but Jericho catches him with the Codebreaker!  Jericho takes too long to cover and only gets 2.  Jericho stomps Edge’s previously injured leg, then locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Edge struggles to reach the ropes, but Jericho pulls him back to the middle and turns it into a half crab on the bad leg.  Edge manages to reach the ropes and surprises Jericho with a front cradle for 2.  Edge clotheslines Jericho and takes them both of the ring.  Jericho grabs the championship belt.  Edge cuts him off and throws him back to the apron.  Edge accidentally bumps the ref.  Jericho hits Edge with the belt for 2.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker for the pin 15:47.  REALLY good match, but the finish felt a bit anticlimactic.  Jericho tries to injure Edge’s leg after the match, but Edge goes crazy and kicks his ass.  Edge clears off the announce tables and runs across them, spearing Jericho into the barricade.

They show highlights of the pre-show 26-man Battle Royal, won by Yoshi Tatsu!  He knocked Zack Ryder off of the apron with a head kick to win it.

WWE Women’s Champion Michelle McCool, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Vickie Guerrero, Alicia Fox, & Layla vs. Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, & Eve Torres.  Vickie pushes into Gail with her bulk.  Beth tags in and beats up Vickie.  Eve, Gail, Mickie, and Kelly each take a turn doing the same.  Vickie screams at Kelly and hits her fucked up Fameasser.  McCool saves Vickie and hits the Styles Clash on Kelly.  Everybody takes turns hitting there moves, half of them botched.  Beth goes for Vickie, but McCool saves her again.  With everybody else out, McCool and Layla help Vickie up top to hit the most horrible looking frog splash ever on Kelly Kelly.  Vickie fucks up her cover and takes 2 tries to pin her, but finally does to end this abortion in 3:24.  Fucking awful.  Vickie does the Eddie shimmy.  I have to believe Eddie Guerrero is turning over in his grave.

Batista/Cena video package.  On first viewing, I HATED this match, but for the most part I’ve liked these matches more on second viewing.  Except for that divas clusterfuck.  Fuck that.

Batista has a lone spotlight for his entrance, while Cena has a bunch of soldier types doing rifle tricks for his.

WWE Championship Match: Batista (c) vs. John Cena.  They fuck around a bit, then Cena works a headlock takedown.  Cena beats up Batista, then gets walloped with a clothesline to the back of the head.  Batista beats up Cena in the corner.  Cena blocks a suplex and hits one of his own.  Batista lands awkwardly on his ass and legs.  Cena hits a bulldog-like facebuster for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Batista spikes him with a botched looking DDT.  Batista locks in a scissored sleeper.  Cena fights out.  They do the “BOO, YAY!” punch exchange, with Cena getting booed.  Batista hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Cena starts his comeback and goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Batista catches him with the spinebuster.  He goes for the Batista Bomb, but Cena counters and locks in the STF.  Batista gets a rope break, then spears Cena for 2.  Batista goes for a superplex, but they end up doing a test of strength on the middle ropes.  Cena fights Batista off and hits a diving Five Knuckle Shuffle, then goes for the Attitude Adjustment again.  Batista counters and hits the Batista Bomb for 2.  They counter each other’s finishers until Cena manages to hit the Attitude Adjusment for 2.  Cena comes off the top, but Batista catches him mid-air with what I guess was a horribly botched Batista Bomb.  Batista goes for the Batista Bomb again, but Cena locks him in the STF for the win in 13:30 to regain the WWE Championship.  Batista hilariously keeps tapping after Cena releases the hold.  I didn’t hate it as much as I did the first time, but I still don’t think it was very good.  Slow, plodding, and they botched a lot of stuff.

Extreme Rules!  NEXT MONTH!

Undertaker/Shawn Michaels video package.

Streak vs. Career Match: The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels.  They start with a staredown.  Michaels does Undertaker’s throat slash gesture.  The bell rings and they go at it.  Michaels hits Undertaker with a bunch of chops.  Taker whips Michaels into the corner, then hits Snake Eyes and the big boot.  Taker clotheslines Shawn in the corner, then goes for Old School.  Michaels fights it, but Taker manages to hit it.  He immediately regrets it, because he injures his knee upon landing.  Michaels avoids the chokeslam and kicks at Taker’s leg.  Undertaker rallies and goes for the Tombstone, but Michaels counters and goes for the crossface.  Taker avoids it and twists Shawn’s arm a bit.  Shawn throws a superkick, but Taker avoids it.  Shawn kicks the shit out of Undertaker’s knee some more.  Taker fires back with his big punches and clotheslines Shawn out of the ring.  Taker thinks about a dive, but Michaels rushes back in and clips the bad leg.  Michaels goes for a figure-four, but Taker kicks him out of the ring.  Taker follows and rams Shawn into the post.  Taker hits the APRON LEG DROP!  “VINTAGE!”  Back inside, Michaels locks Undertaker in the figure-four leglock.  Taker suffers for a bit, but manages to reverse it, so Michaels releases the hold.  I’ve never understood how that works.  They trade blows.  Michaels realizes how dumb an idea that is and goes back to chopping Taker.  Well, Taker was still punching him, so it’s a moot point.  Michaels hits the flying forearm and nips up, only to get chokeslammed.  Taker covers for 2.  Taker goes for the Tombstone again, but Michaels counters and locks him in an ankle lock.  Taker fights out.  Michaels clotheslines him, which sends them both out of the ring.  Michaels goes for a springboard cross body, but Undertaker catches him and Tombstones him on the floor!  Trainers come out to check on Michaels, but Taker picks him up, puts him back in the ring, covers, and Shawn kicks out!  Taker goes for the Last Ride, but Michaels turns it into a facebuster for 2.  Michaels goes for the diving elbow drop, but Taker catches him with his knees.  It hurts Michaels, but also worsens Taker’s injured knee.  Taker locks int he Hell’s Gate, but Michaels turns it into a jackknife hold for 2.  Sweet counter.  Michaels NAILS the superkick, covers, and TAKER KICKS OUT!  Michaels tunes up the band.  This time, Taker catches him and DRIVES him to the mat with the last ride.  Cover, but MICHAELS KICKS OUT this time.  Taker throws Michaels out of the ring.  Taker clears off the announce table and goes for the Last Ride again.  Michaels escapes and superkicks Taker onto the table.  Michaels goes to the top rope and hits a MOONSAULT to Taker’s knees THROUGH the announce table!  Michaels takes Undertaker back into the ring as Lawler speculates that Taker’s leg is broken.  Michaels NAILS another superkick, covers, and TAKER KICKS OUT AGAIN!  Michaels goes for another one, but Taker hits a BIG chokeslam.  Taker sells his leg, then picks Michaels up and hits a second Tombstone Piledriver.  1, 2, MICHAELS KICKS OUT!  Taker lowers his straps and begins the throat slash.  He’s got a nasty cut on his arm.  He stops mid-slash and looks down at Michaels, appearing to have some sort of sympathy for this man who has fought him so valiantly.  Michaels struggles to get up.  Taker yells at him to stay down.  Michaels gets to his knees and does the throat slash, then SLAPS Taker.  Taker gets pissed and FUCKING SPIKES Michaels with a JUMPING Tombstone Piledriver for the pin in 24:00.  Fucking amazing match.  It wasn’t quite the match they had last year, but still fucking amazing.  They do a HUGE pyro display on the stage and outside of the stadium as the big screen reads “18-0.”  Undertaker helps Michaels to his feet and they shake hands and hug.  Taker leaves to let Michaels have his farewell moment.  Michaels walks up the ramp, slapping hands with fans.  He yells “I’ll drive my kids nuts in 3 weeks!”  He gets the top of the ramp and does his entrance pose, then goes to the back as we fade to black.

There were some things on this show I thought were terrible, and many more that I thought were good, but deserved more time.  The main event was just… fucking… great.

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/22/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 27, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our hosts, 6 days before WrestleMania XXVI!  Tonight, Triple H & Randy Orton take on Sheamus, Cody Rhodes, & Ted Dibiase Jr.!

Shawn Michaels comes out and cuts a promo.  They show an awesome video package chronicling Michaels’ career, ending with Undertaker beating Michaels at WrestleMania XXV and saying “Shawn Michaels’ Career, 1985-2010.”  Michaels calls out The Undertaker.  Tonight’s guest host, Pete Rose, comes out instead.  Rose books Michaels against Kane tonight, to get revenge for all of the things Kane has done to Rose in years past.

Highlights of Batista/Cena from SummerSlam 2008.  Tonight will be their Final Face-Off before WrestleMania!

Non-Title: WWE United States & Unified WWE Tag Team Champion The Miz (w/ Unified WWE Tag Team Champion The Big Show) vs. John Morrison (w/ R-Truth).  Show and Truth do commentary.  Miz and Morrison wrestle a bit, then brawl.  Morrison kicks Miz out of the ring and teases a dive.  Miz avoids it, but Morrison catches him with a shot and hits his dive anyway.  Insta-commercials.  Miz injured Morrison’s neck during the break and is now working it over.  Morrison avoids a kick and schoolboys Miz for 2.  Miz drops Morrison with a kick for 2.  Miz continues to work the neck.  They trade blows as Show and Truth exchange words on commentary.  Morrison hits a flapjack and a knee to the face for 2.  Morrison slides out of the ring to avoid a clothesline, then goes up top.  Miz crotches him and goes for a superplex.  Show is much better on commentary than R-Truth.  Morrison counters Miz and hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the top, followed by Starship Pain for the pin (5:00 shown).  Good little match.  Actually, the first good singles match I’ve ever seen this two have.  Show decks R-Truth after the match.  Morrison hits Show with a baseball slide dropkick, then he and R-Truth run away.

Triple H is getting ready for the match tonight.  Randy Orton comes in.  Triple H warns Orton against fucking with him tonight.  Orton tells Triple H that he still has to make it to Mania.  Alrighty then.

The San Francisco 49ers are at ringside.

Highlights of Batista beating Cena for the WWE Championship at Elimination Chamber.  Final Face-Off TONIGHT!

Jack Swagger is doing guest commentary for the next match, which Justin Roberts announces as the FINAL Money In The Bank Qualifying Match!

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Vladimir Kozlov.  They have a match.  It is bad.  Kozlov hits some headbutts and a double arm belly to belly suplex for 2.  More lameness.  Kozlov hits a fall away slam, puts Kofi in the top rope, and awkwardly kicks at him.  Kofi counters something with something else.  Kingston hits the Trouble In Paradise for the pin in 2:20.  Thank God.

Tonight, Shawn Michaels takes on Kane!  NEXT, Triple H & Rhodes vs. Sheamus, Rhodes, & Dibiase!

Stu Hart Hall of Fame graphic, but no awesome video. 😦

Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase Jr. come out and cut a promo.

Handicap Match: Sheamus, Cody Rhodes, & Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Triple H & Randy Orton.  I just noticed that during the opening segment of the show, the ring ropes were white, but sometime between then and now they were changed to red.  Hunter hammers on Rhodes.  Rhodes catches him with a boot and tags in Dibiase, who gets owned as well.  Triple H decks Sheamus and Rhodes on the apron, allowing Dibiase to land a dropkick.  Sheamus gets Triple H outside and sends him into the barricade, then tags into the match and beats up Sheamus in the ring.  The bad guys take turns beating up Triple H.  Triple H hits a spinebuster on Rhodes and makes the hot tag to Orton.  Orton runs wild on everybody.  3.0 to Sheamus.  Orton does his mat humping RKO set up, then catches Rhodes coming in goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Sheamus drops him with the pump kick for the pin in 5:02.  It was fine.  Sheamus goes for the pump kick on Triple H, who ducks and clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring.

Highlights of Batista/Cena from the Raw after Elimination Chamber.

Bret Hart is headed our way!

They show the WrestleMania Week schedule.

They show the contract signing from last week.

Bret Hart comes out and cuts a promo on Vince McMahon.  When he’s done, Vince comes out and tells Bret he’s screwed.

Shawn Michaels is headed our way!  Pete Rose wishes him luck.

WrestleMania hype video.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kane.  It’s a No DQ match, but instead of being billed that way, it’s being billed as “Pinfall or submission only.”  Michaels throws chops.  Kane mows him down with a boot and hammers him with punches.  Kane applies a rear chin lock, then just beats up Michaels some more.  Michaels throws some more chops.  Kane hits a big sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane goes for the diving lariat, but Michaels catches his arm and locks in the crossface.  Kane fights it and gets to the ropes.  Michaels applies an ankle lock.  More stuff happens.  Michaels hits the diving elbow and signals for the superkick.  The lights go out.  Undertaker replaces Kane and chokleslams Michaels.  The lights go out again and Kane reappears and covers.  Michaels kicks out.  Kane goes for the Tombstone, but Michaels slips out and hits the superkick for the pin in 5:27.  It was fine.

Yet another Batista/Cena video. FINAL FACE-OFF TONIGHT!  I DON’T FUCKING CARE!  DO YOU?  ME NEITHER!

SMACKDOWN HYPE!

Sorry, I’m done yelling now.

The last inductee into the Hall of Fame is Bob Uecker!

WrestleMania card hype.

Christian talks to Pete Rose backstage.  Kane pulls Rose into his office.  They make cartoony sound effects as Christian listens, looking amused.

Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim, & Eve Torres (w/ Mickie James & Kelly Kelly) vs. WWE Divas Champion Maryse, WWE Women’s Champion Michelle McCool, & Layla (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Alicia Fox).  Gail and McCool start.  Gail hits a nice hurricanrana and a clothesline for 2.  Gail goes for her move, fails, decks Layla, goes for a jackknife hold on McCool.  They counter each other, then McCool hits the Styles Clash for the pin in 57 seconds.  Well this was utterly pointless.

Batista/Cena video #675,000.

Batista is headed our way!

Next week’s guest host will be the guys from Hot Tub Time Machine!

Justin Roberts introduces the WWE Champion, Batista, who comes out flanked by security.  Batista cuts a promo while I play Mafia Wars on Facebook and reply to some text messages.  John Cena comes out and talks about being all sad and emo because he’s Batista’s bitch.  They banter back and forth.  Cena says he’ll take the title back this Sunday, then starts to leave.  Batista yells at him.  They fight as security tries to break them up.  Cena beats up security guards.  Fin.

What a lame show.

WWF WrestleMania IV

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 13, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

“The World Wrestling Federation: What The World Is Watching!”  WrestleMania IV!  We are LIVE from the Trump Plaza Hotel & Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey!

Mean Gene Okerlund welcomes us to WrestleMania IV!  He introduces Gladys Knight to sing “America The Beautiful.”

The referees carry a huge ass trophy to the ring.  It will be presented to the winner of the Battle Royal.

Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are the announcers.  They talk about what’s on tap for tonight.  Bob Uecker is back, too.

Battle Royal featuring The Hart Foundation of Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart, The Young Stallions of Paul Roma & Jim Powers, Sika, Danny Davis, The Killer Bees of Brian Blair & Jim Brunzell, Bad News Brown, Sam Houston, The Rougeau Brothers of Jacques & Raymond, Ken Patera, Ron Bass, Junkyard Dog, The Bolsheviks of Nikolai Volkoff & Boris Zhukov, Hillbilly Jim, King Harley Race, and George “The Animal” Steele.  Everybody brawls, except Steele, who is just wandering around at ringside.  Sam Houston gets eliminated, followed quickly by Sika.  Volkoff almost eliminates Brunzell, the one of the Rougeaus almost does too.  Steele keeps fucking with Neidhart, and pulls him out of the ring over the top to eliminate him.  Brunzell got eliminated somewhere in there.  Raymond Rougeau and Brian Blair get eliminated in the same motion.  JYD eliminates Bass.  Zhukov and/or Hart eliminate Hillbilly Jim.  Roma eliminates Davis.  Somebody eliminates Jim Powers.  Race and JYD trade headbutts.  Volkoff, Patera, and Zhukov get eliminated in short order.  Jacques gets eliminated.  JYD eliminates Race.  Brown eliminates Roma.  Hart holds JYD for Brown, but JYD ducks and Hart gets hit.  JYD does his headbutts on the ground.  Hart and Brown double team JYD, then talk strategy.  JYD fights them both, but he’s overcome by superior numbers.  Hart and Brown bundle JYD out.  They act like they’re going to split the win, then Brown drops Hart with a kick, kicks his ass, then throws him out to win it in 9:47.  Hart, pissed that Brown double crossed him, dropkicks him out of the ring and smashes the trophy.

Howard Finkel explains tonight’s tournament for the vacant WWF Championship.  He introduces Robin Leach from Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous to read a scroll about it.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan vs. Ted Dibiase (w/ Andre the Giant & Virgil).  They lock up.  Dibiase backs Duggan into the corner and breaks clean.  Repeat, but this time Dibiase tries a cheap shot and Duggan cuts him off.  They trade punches.  Duggan hits an atomic drop and sends Dibiase out of the ring in a hilarious bump.  Dibiase goes on the offensive until Duggan drops him with a clothesline.  Duggan punches Dibiase in the corner, then runs into Dibiase’s boot in the opposite corner.  Dibiase goes to work.  Duggan fights back, but Dibiase rakes his eyes.  Duggan gets a sunset flip for 2.  Dibiase catches Duggan with a knee to the middle, then a fist drop.  Dibiase goes for a suplex, but Duggan reverses it.  Dibiase comes off the middle rope and gets caught with a shot to the gut.  Duggan gets rolling and goes for the three point clothesline, but Andre grabs his leg.  Dibiase hits him from behind, then finishes him with a fist drop in 5:03.  It was a fun little match.

Mean Gene interviews Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake.  Gene admires his “package.”

WWE Championship Tournament – Round 1: Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) vs. “The Rock” Don Muraco (w/ “Superstar” Billy Graham).  They lock up, break, lock up again.  Bravo shoves Muraco into the corner and wails on him.  Muraco comes back and hits a half assed Vader Bomb into an elbow drop.  Bravo hits a couple of elbow drops, then a gutwrench suplex.  Muraco fights back and works on Bravo’s leg some.  Muraco works a spinning toe hold.  Bravo kicks Muraco away and Muraco gets hung in the ropes.  Bravo hits a piledriver, takes too long to cover, and only gets 2.  Bravo goes for another one, but Muraco backdrops him.  Double clothesline spot.  Muraco makes a comeback, but accidentally kills the ref in the process.  Bravo hits his side suplex and covers.  The referee taps him on the back three times, so Bravo thinks he won.  The ref was calling for the DQ.  Muraco wins by DQ in 4:54 because Bravo pulled the referee in front of him.  This match was lame and had a lame finish to boot.

Bob Uecker talks about Vanna White, who is around somewhere, then talks to The Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart.  Honky will be putting the Intercontinental Title against Brutus Beefcake tonight.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat (w/ baby Richie Steamboat).  Steamboat carrying his son to the ring will be something they show when Richie debuts on WWE TV in the future, I’m sure.  They lock up, break, repeat.  Lock up again and do some awesome stuff.  Man, Steamboat has the most glorious arm drags ever.  Steamboat moves fast.  Valentine throws him over the top, but Steamboat skins the cat back in, dropkicks him, then fails at a crucifix.  Valentine beats up Steamboat.  Valentine goes for a backdrop suplex, but Steamboat lands his feet and rams Valentine into the turnbuckles.  Steamboat works on Valentine’s arm.  Valentine hits an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline, then elbows Steamboat in the head.  They show Donald Trump in the front row.  Steamboat goes for a body slam, but Valentine lands on top for 2.  Valentine hits a gut buster, then goes for the figure-four.  Steamboat kicks him into the turnbuckle.  They trade chops.  Valentine finally falls down.  Valentine hits a shoulder breaker for 2.  Valentine goes for the figure-four again, but Steamboat cuts him off, then rams his head into the mat.  Steamboat hits a diving chop, and Valentine takes a great delayed bump.  Cover only gets 2.  Steamboat rams Valentine’s head repeatedly into the turnbuckles, argues with the referee, then goes up top.  Steamboat hits a diving cross body, but Valentine rolls through and gets the pin in 9:11.  Good match.

Mean Gene interviews Koko B. Ware and The British Bulldogs, who have Matilda back after The Islanders and Bobby Heenan kidnapped her.  They say Matilda has been trained to go after weasels.  Heh.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: “The Natural” Butch Reed (w/ Slick) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  Nothing happens, then they do a little bit.  Reed slow beats up Savage.  Savage fights back, but Reed reverses his suplex attempt.  Reed hits an elbow drop for 2.  Reed ponderously beats up Savage some more.  Reed hits Savage with a clothesline, talks at Elizabeth, then goes up top.  He spent too long fucking around.  Savage throws him off the top, then hits the diving elbow for the pin in 4:08.  It was fine when Savage was on offense, but unfortunately that was maybe 30 seconds of the match.

Uecker is backstage, still talking about Vanna White.  He talks to Bobby Heenan, with the Islanders.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: The One Man Gang (w/ Slick) vs. Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Oliver Humperdink).  Gang jumps Bigelow and lumbers around, beating him up.  Bigelow hits a cartwheel splash for 2, then a cross body for 2.  Bigelow keeps rolling.  Bigelow hits a headbutt, then Slick low bridges him out of the ring.  Bigelow makes it to the apron, but that really ugly ref counts him out at 3:00.  Stupid.

Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan.  His promo turns very wacky.  “Thank God Donald Trump’s a Hulkamaniac!”  Something about the Trump Plaza falling into the ocean.  I don’t know.

Another shot of Trump in the front row.  They show Slick screwing Bigelow again.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Jake Roberts.  Rude cuts a promo, saying what’s under his robe is why “the odds are in [his] favorite.”  They lock up as Damien wriggles around in the bag.  Roberts rams Rude’s face into the mat.  Rude slams Roberts, then hammers him.  Repeat.  Roberts slams Rude a couple of times.  Rude ends up the corner with Damien and freaks out.  Roberts cranks on Rude’s arm.  Rude punches Roberts, but Roberts holds onto the wrist lock and grounds him.  Roberts his a knee off the middle rope and goes for the DDT, but Rude bails.  Heenan hugs him.  Back inside, Roberts works on Rude’s arm some more.  The run the ropes.  Roberts slams Rude again and goes for the knee lift, but Rude avoids it and puts the boots to him.  Rude hits a clothesline, swivels his hips, and hits an elbow drop for 2.  Rude works a chin lock.  Heenan distracts the referee to give Rude the chance to choke Roberts.  Roberts finally works his way out of it.  Rude hits a diving chop, then swivels his hips some more.  Rude hits a clothesline for 2.  Rude goes back to the chin lock.  Rude flapjacks Roberts and goes up top to hit a diving punch for 2, covers for another 2, then goes back to the chin lock.  Roberts backdrop suplexes him, but Rude keeps his old on, then covers for 2.  Rude stomps Roberts in the ropes.  I think I hear a “BORING!” chant developing.  Rude works the chin lock again.  This is boring.  Roberts finally breaks out with a jawbreaker, then makes his comeback.  Roberts hits a short range clothesline and goes for the DDT, but Rude runs him into the corner.  Roberts catches a charging Rude with a knee, then hits a gutbuster for 2.  Rude hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Double clothesline spot.  Rude gets a 1 count.  Rude goes for the Flair pin in the corner, but the bell rings after 2.  It’s a 15:00 draw at 15:14.  Roberts runs Rude and Heenan off with Damien.  The match was good in the beginning and the end.  The middle part where they were just stalling for time was boring.

Mean Gene and Vanna White are at the big fancy tournament bracket.  Vanna gives her predictions for the second round.

Hercules (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. The Ultimate Warrior.  Hercules tries a shoulder block, to no effect.  Repeat.  They stare at each other, then shove each other.  They lock up and lumber around.  Warrior backs Hercules into the corner.  The ref makes them break and Herc gets a cheap shot in.  They brawl.  It’s bad.  Hercules backdrops Warrior out of the ring.  Warrior pulls Herc out and they brawl on the floor.  Back inside, more horrible brawling.  Warrior punches Herc in the corner.  Herc brings him out with an inverted atomic drop.  Herc avoids Warrior in the corner and locks in the full nelson.  Warrior kicks off the turnbuckles, then lifts his shoulder and gets the pin in 4:37.  Herc attacks Warrior after the match, then chokes him with his chain.  Warrior gets the chain and swings it around to run Herc off.  This sucked.  All of it.

Gorilla and Jesse talk, then we get an Andre/Hogan history package.

WWF Championship Tournament – Quarterfinal: Andre the Giant (w/ Ted Dibiase & Virgil) vs. Hulk Hogan.  Andre immediately goes on the attack.  He clobbers Hogan with huge blows.  Hogan fights back with forearms, then chokes DIbiase when he gets on the apron.  Hogan knocks Andre and Dibiase’s heads together.  Hogan chops Andre.  Andre gets tangled up in the ropes.  Hogan rips his shirt off and poses as Virgil and Dibiase free Andre.  Stupid Hogan.  Hogan knocks Andre down and hits 3 elbow drops for 2.  Andre chokes Hogan.  Andre chops Hogan, then clamps on a nerve hold.  Hogan fights back, then signals for the slam.  Virgil distracts the ref while Dibiase sneaks in and hits Hogan with a chair.  Hogan hits Andre with the chair IN FULL VIEW of the referee, who does NOTHING.  Andre hits Hogan with the chair, and the ref calls for the double DQ in 5:22.  This actively sucked.  Hogan chases Dibiase up the aisle.  Dibiase throws Virgil to Hogan.  Hogan suplex Virgil in the aisle.  Hogan comes back to the ring and body slams Andre.  Hogan does his posing routine.

Mean Gene interviews Randy Savage and Elizabeth.

WWF Championship Tournament – Quarterfinal: “The Rock” Don Muraco (w/ “Superstar” Billy Graham) vs. Ted Dibiase.  Dibiase doesn’t want to get in the ring.  Muraco brings him in the hard way.  Muraco hits a powerslam for 2.  Muraco hits a diving fist or chop for 2.  Muraco hits the Throwback, and generally continues beating up Dibiase.  Dibiase finally manages to defensively slingshot Muraco into the turnbuckles, then puts the boots to him.  Dibiase gets the heat on Muraco.  Except this crowd isn’t heated AT ALL.  Muraco avoids a falling elbow drop from the middle rope and makes his comeback.  Dibiase hot shots Muraco into the top rope for the pin in 5:36.  Fine little match.

Bob Uecker talks to Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji).

The One Man Gang and Slick are in the ring for Finkel’s announcement that Gang receives a BYE in this round because of the draw between Rude and Roberts.

WWF Championship Tournament – Quarterfinal: Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  They lock up.  Valentine hammers Savage.  Savage fights back and hits a knee drop for 2.  Valentine beats up Savage some more.  Elbow drop gets 2.  Valentine hits a shoulder breaker for 2.  Valentine throws Savage out of the ring, then hits him with an elbow to the back of the head from the apron.  Valentine hits Savage with some chops.  Valentine continues to beat up Savage.  He goes for the figure-four, but Savage holds into the ropes.  Valentine hits a suplex for 2.  Savage starts fighting back and actually gets a small reaction from the crowd.  Savage slams Valentine, then hits a diving double axe handle.  Hart jumps on the apron to stop the count.  Savage lunges for him.  Valentine gets the offensive on Savage again, but Savage reverses a suplex attempt, then goes up and goes for another axe handle.  Valentine catches him with a blow to the middle.  Hart helps Valentine avoids a charging Savage in the ropes.  Valentine goes for the figure-four, but Savage turns it into an inside cradle for the pin in 6:07.  Good little match.

Mean Gene and Vanna White go over the brackets at the end of the second round.  Vanna still doesn’t know who Uecker is.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: The Honky Tonk Man (c) (w/ Jimmy Hart & Peggy Sue) vs. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake.  They lock up.  Beefcake catches Honky’s foot, teases a punch, then hits an atomic drop.  Beefcake messes up Honky’s hair, so Honky bails.  Beefcake rams Honky’s head into the turnbuckles repeatedly.  He keeps doing a scissors motion with his fingers, I guess because he wants to cut Honky’s hair.  Beefcake hits a high knee and Honky bails again.  Beefcake pulls him back in and beats him up.  Honky avoids an elbow drop and puts the boots to Brutus.  Honky beats up Brutus.  Hart chokes Beefcake behind the referee’s back.  Honky grabs a front face lock, but decides to beat him up some more instead of going for his move.  Then he actually goes for the Shake, Rattle, & Roll, but Beefcake holds onto the ropes to avoid it and makes his comeback.  Beefcake locks in the sleeper hold.  Jimmy gets on the apron and nails the referee with the megaphone.  Beefcake puts Honky to sleep and thinks he won, then notices the referee is also sleeping.  Beefcake goes for his bag of barber equipment, but Hart gets it and tries to escape under the ring.  Beefcake drags him out and cuts some of Hart’s hair off.  Peggy Sue tries to wake Honky while some more referees try to wake the original referee.  Peggy throws water on Honky to wake him up.  Beefcake comes in with his shears, but referees hold him back.  Beefcake is announces as the winner by DQ in about 9 minutes (no bell).  Fun match.

Bob Uecker talks to Andre the Giant, then gets choked by Andre’s massive hands.

The Islanders & Bobby Heenan vs. The British Bulldogs (w/ Matilda) & Koko B. Ware (w/ Frankie).  Second missed bell in a row.  Is the time keeper in the toilet or something?  Dynamite schools Tama to start.  Davey Boy and Haku tag in.  Davey Boy hits a cross body for 2, then a body slam for 2.  Davey Boy gets a crucifix hold for 2.  Tama tags in and gets press slammed.  Haku tags in and beats up Smith.  Koko tags in and dropkicks Haku, then does an awesome headlock/leg scissors to the Islanders.  Haku beats up Dynamite, who tags in Heenan, wearing his silly dog proof suit.  Heenan puts the boots to Dynamite.  As soon as Dynamite responds, Heenan tags in Tama.  Tama slams Dynamite and goes for a Vader Bomb, but Dynamite gets his knees up.  Koko tags in and runs wild on the Islanders.  The Islanders get some heat on Koko, then tag in Heenan to get his licks in again.  Whatever letters are on the back of Koko’s tights are blurred out.  I think it’s “WWF.”  Koko whips Heenan into the turnbuckles, then dropkicks him.  The Islanders jump Koko and a clusterfuck ensues.  The Islanders slam Heenan on top of Koko for the pin in about 7 minutes.  Good little match.  Dynamite headbutts the Islanders, which is always a stupid move.  Davey Boy sicks Matilda on Heenan afterwards.

Finkel introduces Jesse Ventura.  It must have been in Jesse’s contract that he gets to pose at every WrestleMania.

Ted Dibiase is in the ring for Finkel’s announcement that he gets a BYE in the semifinals.  Why do they feel the need to bring the guys out for these announcements?

WWF Championship Tournament – Semifinal: The One Man Gang (w/ Slick) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  They lock up, with Gang overpowering Savage.  Savage grabs Gang by the beard and “clotheslines” him across the top rope.  Gang beats up Savage.  Gang gets a couple of 2 counts.  Gang slams Savage and goes for the splash, but Savage moves, avoids Gang in the corner, and makes a comeback.  Savage knocks Gang out of the ring and hits a diving axe handle to the outside.  Slick helps Gang get back in the ring.  Savage tries to slam Gang, fails, and gets choked.  Slick aggravates Elizabeth.  Savage chokes Slick.  Gang attacks Savage with Slick’s cane to cause the DQ in 4:12.  This was bad.  After the match, Savage hits a diving axe handle that causes Gang to squash Slick.

Flip over disc to continue!  I shall!

Mean Gene and Vanna White and the brackets board again.  Vanna leaves to go to ringside.  Bob Uecker shows up just after she left.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: Strike Force (c) vs. Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji).  Smash smashes Martel.  My wit amuses me.  Tito comes in to dropkick Martel onto Smash.  Brief clusterfuck ensues.  Strike Force try to work over Smash’s arm.  Ax tags in and promptly gets arm dragged by Tito.  Strike Force tries their arm working strategy on Ax.  Smash tags in and gets his arm punished too.  Smash elevates Tito and Ax nails him.  Demolition gets the heat on Santana.  Martel gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Martel locks Smash in the Boston crab.  Santana stops Ax from interfering.  Mr. Fuji gets on the apron with his cane.  Tito chokes him.  Ax hits Martel with Fuji’s cane behind the referee’s back.  Smash pins Martel to win the titles in 8:02.  Fine match.

Finkel introduces the celebrities for the main event: Robin Leach, who will present the championship belt to the winner and guest ring announcer Bob Uecker, who introduces guest timekeeper Vanna White.

WWF Championship Tournament – Final: Ted Dibiase (w/ Andre the Giant) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  They lock up.  Crowd is dead.  Andre trips Savage behind the referee’s back.  They trade hammerlocks.  Savage hits a shoulder block, then Andre trips him again.  Dibiase works over Savage.  Savage blocks a sunset flip attempt and hits a clothesline for 2.  Dibiase beats up Savage some more.  Savage rallies.  The crowd pops a little bit when he hits a move.  Savage knocks Dibiase out of the ring and goes to the top, but Andre stands over Dibiase to protect him.  Savage confers with Elizabeth, who leaves.  Dibiase attacks Savage from behind and gives him a bunch of fist drops for 2.  Elizabeth comes back out with Hulk Hogan in tow.  Dibiase works a rear chin lock.  He lets go when he sees Hogan.  Hogan gets a chair and sits down in Macho’s corner.  Dibiase continues to beat on Savage.  Andre grabs Savage again and Hogan nails Andre.  Savage tries to fight back against Dibiase, but can’t get rolling.  Dibiase hits a suplex for 2.  Dibiase hits a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Dibiase goes up top, but Savage throws him off, then goes for the diving elbow drop, but Dibiase moves out of his way.  Dibiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream.  Andre distracts the referee.  Hogan sneaks in and hits Dibiase with the chair.  Savage hits the diving elbow drop for the pin in 9:18.  Okay match, but I’m sure they had a lot of matches that were way better than this.  This was mostly storyline, which is fine, I guess.  Savage, Liz, and Hogan celebrate.

Fun show.  This was one of the few old school tapes that one of my local video stores had when I first became a fan, so it’s a sentimental favorite of mine.

WWF WrestleMania III

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 27, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  WrestleMania III!

Vince McMahon is in the ring to welcome us to the Pontiac Silverdome for WrestleMania III.  Then, he introduces Aretha Franklin to sing America the Beautiful.

The announcers, Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura, talk to special guests Mary Hart and Bob Uecker, then throw it to ring announcer, Howard Finkel for the first match.

The Can-Am Connection vs. “Cowboy” Bob Orton Jr. & Don Muraco (w/ Mr. Fuji).  Muraco and Martel start.  Man, there are a lot of people in the Pontiac Silverdome.  Zenk tags in and they double team both opponents.  Orton and Zenk go at it.  Zenk slams Orton.  Orton stumbles into the wrong corner and gets decked.  They reverse each others’ full nelsons.  Muraco accidentally decks Orton.  Zenk covers for 2.  Martel tags in and works Orton’s arm.  Zenk and Muraco tag in.  The heels start to get heat on Zenk for a minute.  Martel tags in and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  The Can-Ams whip the heels into each other and Muraco backdrops Orton.  Orton gets sent out of the ring.  Martel hits a cross body on Muraco for the pin in 5:37.  It was fine.

Billy Jack Haynes/Hercules video package.

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Bobby Heenan and Hercules.  Bizarre promo from Hercules.  Heenan cals Haynes “Billy Jerk Haynes.”  How clever.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules Hernandez (w/ Bobby Heenan).  They’re feuding over who the master of the full nelson is.  They lock up and go at it.  Haynes press slams Hercules.  He goes for the full nelson, but Hercules scampers to the ropes.  Haynes punches Hercules.  Hercules DROPS him with a lariat.  Hercules back body drops Haynes and punishes his back in other ways, such as whipping him into the turnbuckles and suplexing him.  Hercules covers off the suplex, then lets Haynes up.  Haynes fights back, but Hercules clobbers his back.  Hercules continues to punish Haynes’ back.  Hercules goes for the full nelson, but can’t get his fingers locked.  Haynes hulks up and breaks the hold, but Hercules hits him in the back of the head.  Double clothesline spot.  Haynes hits an inverted atomic drop, a clothesline, some more blows, another clothesline, and a leg drop.  Haynes his a diving fist drop.  Haynes locks in the full nelson.  They go out together through the ropes and Haynes locks the full nelson in on the outside.  Double count-out in 7:53.  It was fine.  Heenan cheap shots Haynes.  Haynes chases him around the ring.  Hercules hits Haynes with his chain repeatedly and busts him open, then puts him in the full nelson for good measure.

Mean Gene interviews King Kong Bundy and his midgets.

Bob Uecker has joined Heenan and Ventura for commentary.

Mean Gene interviews Hillbilly Jim and his midgets.

King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo, & Lord Littlebrook vs. Hillbilly Jim, Little Beaver, & The Haiti Kid.  They edit out “Don’t Go Messin’ With A Country Boy,” which is akin to blasphemy.  Haiti and Tokyo start.  Midget wrestling!  All four midgets run the ropes.  The heel midgets collide.  The face midgets do the row the boat bit with their legs.  Beaver smacks Tokyo silly, so Tokyo tags in Littlebrook.  Beaver hits Bundy in the gut, which pisses him off.  Bundy tags in.  Beaver dropkicks him to no effect, then tags in Hillbilly Jim.  Jim clotheslines Bundy, then drops an elbow.  Jim and the midgets cover for 2.  Beaver comes in and smacks Bundy with an object.  Bundy avalanches Jim.  Bundy finally has enough of his shit and body slams Little Beaver, then drops an elbow on him.  The referee DQs Bundy in 4:22.  No fair!  That midget was starting shit.  The four midgets and Jim chase Bundy off.  Poor Bundy.  The midget had it coming.

Mary Hart interviews Miss Elizabeth.  The Intercontinental Champion, Randy Savage interrupts.  Hart didn’t want to talk to him.

Race/JYD video package.

Mean Gene interviews Harley Race, Fabulous Moolah, and Bobby Heenan.

Bob Uecker apparently has a thing for Moolah.

Mean Gene interviews JYD.

Loser Must Bow To The Winner: King Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan & WWF Women’s Champion The Fabulous Moolah) vs. Junkyard Dog.  They brawl.  Race throws JYD out of the ring and tries a headbutt off the apron, but JYD avoids it!  JYD beats up Race.  JYD avoids another headbutt.  JYD whips Race into the corner.  Race Flair flips out of the ring.  Heenan distracts JYD, allowing Race to hit a belly to belly suplex for the pin in 3:22.  This sucked.  JYD bows, then hits Race with a chair.  JYD steals Race’s robe.

Vince McMahon interviews the WWF Champion, Hulk Hogan.  He cuts a bizarre promo.

The Rougeau Brothers are introduces, then we get a Dream Team interview before their entrance.

The Rougeau Brothers vs. The Dream Team (w/ Johnny Valiant & Dino Bravo).  Raymond and Beefcake start.  Atomic drop and a tag to Jacques.  Double dropkick to Beefcake.  Valentine tags in and hammers Jacques.  Tag to Raymond, who hits a cross body for 2.  Jacques gets back in.  Valentine avoids a cross body and hammers him, too.  Tag to Valentine, who drops a knee on Jacques for 2.  Tag to Valentine, and some double teaming by the Dream Team.  Bobby Heenan comes into the broadcast booth.  Valentine locks Jacques in the figure-four leglock.  Valentine goes for a sunset flip, but Jacques punches him and tags in Raymond.  Raymond locks Valentine in a sleeper.  Beefcake tries to save and accidentally hits Valentine.  Rougeaus hit a Doomsday leg lariat on Valentine and Raymond gets a jackknife cradle.  With the referee distracted, Bravo comes in and hits Raymond.  Valentine pins Raymond in 4:04.  It was alright.  Valiant, Valentine, and Bravo leave without Beefcake.

Adonis/Piper video package.

Adonis makes his entrance, then they show a pre-taped interview with Adonis and Jimmy Hart.

Hair vs. Hair, Roddy Piper Retirement Match: Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Roddy Piper.  They brawl.  Piper whips Adonis with his belt, then chokes Jimmy Hart with it.  Adonis hits Piper from behind, then whips Piper with the belt.  Piper whips Adonis into the corner.  Flair flip.  Piper pulls Adonis back in, and Hart along with him.  Piper knocks their heads together, then throws Hart into Adonis and sends them both tumbling out of the ring.  Piper pulls Adonis back in, beats him up, then launches Hart off the top rope into Adonis.  Hart trips Piper behind the referee’s back.  Adonis rakes Piper’s chest.  Ouch.  Adonis uses his amble bulk to knock Piper down, then scrapes at him some more.  They go outside.  Adonis rams Piper into the timekeeper’s table.  Hart hits Piper.  Adonis hammers Piper back in the ring.  Piper fights back.  Hart sprays perfume in Piper’s eyes.  Adonis locks Piper in the sleeper hold.  Adonis lets it go before the referee can check the arm the last time.  Brutus Beefcake comes in and shakes Piper awake.  Piper decks Jimmy Hart, ducks a shot from Adonis with the big shears he brought to the ring, and locks Adonis in the sleeper for the win in 6:55.  It was decent.  Beefcake cuts Adonis’ hair as Piper roughs up Jimmy Hart.  Piper holds up the mirror so Adonis can see himself.  Adonis punches the mirror and runs after Piper, but fails.  So this is Piper’s first retirement, and Beefcake’s face turn and the beginning the Barber gimmick.  A fan runs in and hugs Piper and shakes his hand before security tackles him and takes him away.  Piper rides off into the sunset.

Gorilla talks to Mary Hart and Bob Uecker.  Howard Finkel randomly introduces Jesse Ventura to the live audience.  Random.  Ventura buddies it up with the Hart Foundation.

Pre-taped interview with Mean Gene interviewing Jimmy Hart for the Hart Foundation and Danny Davis.  Davis was a crooked referee who screwed the Bulldogs and Tito Santana.  He was suspended for “life plus 10 years” as a referee.

WWF Tag Team Champions The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The British Bulldogs & Tito Santana (w/ Matilda).  Before the match, Santana whips the Harts into each other, then Davey Boy press slams Davis out of the ring and onto them.  Tito starts with Bret Hart.  Ventura carries Matilda to the back.  Davey Boy and Neidhart tag in and have a power match.  Mary Hart clarifies that she has no relation to Jimmy Hart.  Tito tags in and works Neidhart’s arm.  Bret chokes Tito behind the referee’s back.  Tito leapfrogs Neidhart and tags in Davey Boy, who backdrops Anvil.  Hart tags in and goes for an elbow that Davey Boy avoids.  Dynamite Kid tags in and whips Bret frontwards into the turnbuckle.  Dynamite stumbles and hits a headbutt.  Neidhart helps Bret get the advantage on Dynamite.  Dynamite goes for the snap suplex, but Neidhart hits him in the back.  Tito goes after Neidhart every time he interferes.  Neidhart comes in and works over Dynamite.  Harts hits a double team backbreaker/elbow drop on Dynamite.  Davids tags in, puts the boots to Dynamite, and tags in Bret.  Major heat for that one.  Harts work over Dynamite.  “We’re going to have to rename Dynamite “Firecracker” if he doesn’t shape up here.” says Mary Hart.  Davis tags in again and gets his licks in, then tags back out.  Harts slingshot Davis into a splash, but Dynamite gets his knees up.  Hot tag to Tito Santana, who runs wild on Davis, decks the Harts, and beats up Davis some more.  Santana goes for the figure-four, but Neidhart decks him to prevent it.  Davey Boy tags in and beats up Davis.  Davey Boy tombstones Davis, years before it meant anything, then hits the stalling suplex, then the running powerslam.  He covers, but Neidhart saves.  Tito gives him the flying jalapeno.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Davis whacks Davey Boy with Jimmy’s megaphone for the pin in 8:52.  This was kind of excellent.

Mean Gene interviews Andre the Giant and Bobby Heenan.

“The Natural” Butch Reed (w/ Slick) vs. Koko B. Ware (w/ Frankie).  Ventura is back on commentary now.  They fuck off for a while, then lock up.  Reed takes the early advantage.  Ware tries a reverse cradle, fails, but dropkicks Reed out of the ring.  Ware tries to get some offense going, but Reed hits him in the back of his head and rattles his brains.  Frankie tries to peck the camera lens.  Gorilla says Frankie realizes Koko is in trouble.  Ware hip tosses Reed and hits some punches and a dropkick.  Ware gets an inside cradle for 2.  Koko hits a cross body, but Reed rolls through and hooks the tights for the pin in 3:39.  Koko nails Reed.  Slick attacks Koko with his cane.  Tito Santana comes out and rips Slick’s $3 suit off.  Koko and Tito hit a double dropkick on Reed.  Meh.

Savage/Steamboat history package.

Randy Savage cuts a promo, then makes his entrance.  Mean Gene interviews Ricky Steamboat.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Randy Savage (c) (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. Ricky Steamboat (w/ George “The Animal” Steele).  They feel each other out a bit.  Savage bails to lead Elizabeth to another corner because Steele was too close to her.  Steamboat with a pair of his gorgeous arm drags and a double hand lifting choke (think a choke bomb without the bomb).  Savage attacks Steamboat’s arm, then slings him off the ropes and covers for 2.  Steamboat works on Savage’s arm.  Savage elbows Steamboat in the face.  Ouch.  Savage throws Steamboat out of the ring.  Savage pulls Steamboat to the apron  by his hair, then hits him in the throat.  See, that’s how this feud started.  Savage put Steamboat out for a while by hitting him in the throat with the ring bell, I think.  Steamboat fights back.  Savage gets tied up in the ropes.  Steamboat beats on him.  Savage escapes.  Steamboat hits a cross body for 2.  Another gorgeous arm drag, and a shoulder block for 2.  Savage knees Steamboat in the back.  Savage throws Steamboat out, but Steamboat skins the cat back in.  Savage clotheslines Steamboat out of the ring.  Steele tries to help him up, then recoils like a scolded child when the referee admonishes him.  Savage hits Steamboat from behind and sends him over the barricade.  Steele picks Steamboat up and puts him back in the ring.  Savage sends Steamboat out again and hits a double axe handle to the floor.  Back inside, Savage hits another double axe handle for 2.  Savage pulls Steamboat’s throat across the top rope for 2.  Atomic drop for 2.  Vertical suplex gets 2.  Steamboat fights back, but Savage hits a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Steamboat backdrops Savage out of the ring.  Ventura calls for a DQ, but the WWF never had that stupid rule.  Steamboat hits a diving karate chop for what looks like a 3 count, but Savage got his foot on the rope.  Steamboat drops him again in the middle of the ring for 2.  Steamboat gets a sunset flip for 2.  Steamboat gets a schoolboy for 2.  Steamboat gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Steamboat gets an inside cradle for 2.  This is getting awesome.  Steamboat catapults Savage into the corner and sunset flips him again for 2.  Steamboat gets a reverse cradle for 2, then Savage reverses it for 2.  Savage sends Steamboat into the referee.  Man, those referees are fragile.  Savage hits the diving elbow drop for a phantom 3 count, but there’s no referee.  Savage takes the ring bell from the timekeeper.  Steele snatches it away from him.  Savage kicks him in the head and goes up top with the bell, but the Steele pushes him off.  Savage picks up Steamboat, but Steamboat gets him with an inside cradle for the pin in about 14:42 (the bell was in the ring, so couldn’t be rung).  One of the most famous matches in WWE history, and while on previous viewings I didn’t think it lived up to the hype, but this time I was really into it and thought it was awesome.

Mean Gene interviews Jake Roberts and Alice Cooper.  They make their entrance, then we get a pre-taped interview with The Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart.

Jake “The Snake” Roberts (w/ Alice Cooper) vs. The Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart).  Roberts jumps Honky before the bell and kicks his ass and rips his jump suit off.  Honky gets the advantage and beats up on Roberts.  Roberts drops him with a short range lariat.  The snow the snake moving around in the bag.  Honky bails for unrelated reasons.  Roberts follows him and gets into into the post, then stumbles into the barricade.  Roberts makes it back to the apron with Cooper’s help, and Honky takes a break from dancing to knock Roberts into the barricade again.  Roberts finally makes it back inside.  Honky slams him and hits a first drop off the second rope.  Honky beats up Roberts.  Honky sets up his finish, but Roberts backdrops him.  Honky punches Roberts in the corner.  Roberts gives him an inverted atomic drop.  Roberts makes his comeback and goes for the DDT, but Hart grabs his leg.  Honky schoolboys Roberts and grabs the ropes for the pin in 7:05.  It was fine.  Roberts swings Honky’s guitar at him.  Honky avoids it.  Roberts smashes the guitar into the post.  Honky runs away.  Jake and Cooper introduce Jimmy Hart to Damien.

Howard Finkel introduces Mean Gene Okerlund, who announces the attendance at 93,173.  The real number is around 78,000, which is plenty impressive, but wrestling promoters are devout liars, especially when it comes to attendance numbers.

The Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, and Slick make their way to the ring.  “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan runs down with his 2×4 to stop Volkoff from singing the Soviet national anthem.

The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Slick) vs. The Killer Bees.  Duggan marches back and forth at ringside.  Volkoff and Sheik Pearl Harbor the Killer Beers to start the match.  There’s a do si do spot, then the Killer Bees get the advantage.  The Bees make quick tags and work over Sheiky.  Volkoff and Sheik work over Brunzell.  Brunzell hits Sheik with a knee and makes the lukewarm tag.  The referee didn’t see it, so it’s a false tag.  Brunzell continues playing face in peril.  Duggan chases Volkoff and Slick around the ring.  Sheik puts Brunzell in the camel clutch.  Hacksaw chases Volkoff into the ring, then whacks Sheik with the 2×4 to cause the DQ in 5:43.  Hacksaw cuts a lame, but patriotic promo, and gets the crowd to chant “USA!”  Whatever.  Replays.  Double whatever.

Mean Gene interviews Andre and Heenan again.

Hogan/Andre video package.  The highlight is Roddy Piper saying “You damn betcha I can!”  I want to start saying that all the time.

Mean Gene interviews Hogan again.  Man, his promos are whack.  Did I just use the word “whack?”  I’ve been watching so much 80s wrestling, my brain is starting to rot.

Howard Finkel introduces Bob Uecker as the guest ring announcer and Mart Hart as the guest timekeeper.

WWF Championship Match: Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Epic staredown.  “The irresistible force meeting the immovable object.” says Monsoon.  They shove each other.  Hogan punches Andre and tries to slam him, but fails, as Andre falls on top for 2.  Andre attacks Hogan’s back.  Andre slams Hogan.  Hogan sells it like he’s having the hell beat out of him.  Andre works over Hogan in the corner.  Hogan sneaks out of the corner and makes his comeback with punches, elbows, and chops.  Hogan ramps Andre’s face into the top turnbuckle.  Hogan charges Andre and eats his boot.  Andre bear hugs Hogan.  Hogan FINALLY escapes and tries to get rolling again.  Andre chops him down.  Andre kicks Hogan out of the ring.  Andre accidentally headbutts the post.  Hogan pulls up a section of the floor mats and goes for a piledriver.  Yeah, that’ll happen.  Andre backdrops him out of it.  Back inside, Hogan finally manages to knock Andre down with a shoulder block.  Hogan slams Andre and hits the leg drop for the pin in 12:09.  Not a good wrestling match,  but it doesn’t matter, because this was all spectacle, and one of the most pivotal moments in WWE history.  Hogan does his posing routine.

Monsoon and Ventura talk for a minute, then we get a slide show set to Aretha Franklin’s opening performance to close the show.

And so ends perhaps the most famous show in WWE history.  It’s fun to watch, and much easier to sit through that some of the other older shows I’ve watched recently.  Savage/Steamboat was, of course, match of the night by a huge margin.