Archive for Bob Orton Jr.

WWE Extreme Rules 2012

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2012 by Chui

WWE open, awesome PPV opening video, pryo and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.  Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez are the Spanish announcers.

They show the shenanigans leading up to Kane vs. Randy Orton involving their respective fathers, Paul Bearer and Bob Orton Jr.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Kane vs. Randy Orton.  They brawl.  Orton gets punched off the top to the floor.  Cover on the floor gets 2.  Kane brings in a leg pipe.  Orton cuts him off and hits him with the pipe a few times, knocking him back to the floor on the last shot.  They fight in the crowd.  Orton knees Kane in the face for 2.  Kane slams Orton on the concrete for 2.  More crowd brawling.  They end up near the set.  Orton lands a dropkick for 2.  Kane blocks the RKO and boots Orton in the face for 2.  They brawl backstage.  They end up in a room with some geeks.  Zack Ryder attacks Kane, which only pisses him off.  Kane goozles Ryder, but Orton hits the 3.0 for 2.  Back into the hallway.  Kane throws something at Orton and covers for 2.  Back into the arena.  Back into the ring.  Orton drops Kane with a clothesline and hits a powerslam.  Orton retrieves a chair from underneath the ring and attacks Kane with it.  Back outside, where Orton clears off the announce table.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Orton prevents it.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER off the table to the floor!  Cover gets 2.  Kane blocks the RKO and sends Orton into the post.  Cover gets 2.  Back inside, Kane goes up top.  Orton crotches him and hits a superplex.  Cover gets 2.  Orton humps the mat.  Kane hits the chokeslam, but Orton kicks out!  Kane bitches at the referee.  Kane goes for the Tombstone on the chair.  Orton counts out and hits the RKO sort of on the chair for the pin in 16:45.  Fun match.

John Laurinaitis and Eve Torres are backstage with the Raw Roulette wheel.  Teddy Long brings in champagne.  He’s being humiliated after he lost his GM job at WrestleMania.  Laurinaitis gets a phone call from Triple H.


“The Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/ Hornswoggle, Cameron, & Naomi) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger).  They lock up.  Clay overpowers Ziggler.  Ziggler tries to take Clay down, but fails.  Swagger distracts Clay, allowing Ziggler to dropkick him out of the ring.  Ziggler distracts the referee while Swagger hits a shoulder block on the floor.  Back inside, Ziggler goes on the attack.  Clay goes for a knee lift, but Ziggler dropkicks his knee, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler lands a dropkick for 1.  Ziggler applies a rear chin lock.  Clay fights out.  Ziggler stays on the attack.  He goes for a suplex, but fails.  Clay throws him with a front suplex and makes his comeback.  Clay knocks Swagger on the apron.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but fails.  Clay hits a headbutt and a big splash for the pin in 4:18.  It was fine for what it was.

Earlier in the day, The Big Show and Cody Rhodes played Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal to determine the stipulation for their Intercontinental title match tonight.  It’s a Tables Match.

Lillian Garcia is the other ring announcer.

The show highlights of Show’s title victory over Rhodes at WrestleMania XXVIII.

Tables Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: The Big Show (c) vs. Cody Rhodes.  Show beats up Rhodes.  Rhodes bails after taking a big back body drop.  Show sets up a table on the outside and picks up Rhodes.  Rhodes slips off and chop blocks Show’s knee.  Show rallies and continues to beat and toss Rhodes around.  Show throws Rhodes and a table in the ring.  He throws Rhodes at the table in the corner, but Rhodes rebounds off of it and hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Rhodes charges, but Show shoulder blocks him.  Rhodes bails.  Show beats him up on the outside.  Show throws Rhodes back into the ring and gets in the apron.  Rhodes dropkicks Show, who steps through a table at ringside.  The referee rules Rhodes the winner in 4:35.  Stupid finish.  A pissed off Show drops Rhodes after the match, then chokeslams him through a table.  Crowd chants “One more time!”  Show press slams Rhodes out of the ring through another table.  Show leaves.  Rhodes is helped up and manages to hold up his belt while looking like he’s near tears.

Edge DVD plug.

Matt Striker interviews Daniel Bryan.  Will he become World Champion tonight?  YES!  YES!  YES!  Fun interview.  He walks away and they show AJ sulking in the background.

Sheamus/Bryan hype video.

2/3 Falls Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan.  Sheamus is wearing a t-shirt with “18 seconds” written on it, the time in which he beat Bryan for the title at WrestleMania.  I timed it at 19 seconds, but that’s neither here nor there.  Sheamus grabs a headlock and lands a shoulder block.  They do a brief mat exchange.  Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Bryan avoids it.  Sheamus taunts Bryan with how close that was.  They trade arm locks.  Sheamus hits a Finlay Roll for 2.  For some reason, I don’t know the proper name for that move.  Sheamus rolls through a sunset flip and locks Bryan in a Texas Cloverleaf.  Bryan gets the ropes.  Sheamus goes for it again, but Bryan gets an inside cradle for 2.  Sheamus beats up Bryan.  Bryan lands a lariat.  Sheamus rolls to the apron and Bryan dropkicks him to the floor.  Bryan dives off the apron, but Sheamus catches him and sends him into the barricade.  Back inside, Sheamus goes up top, but Bryan crotches him and goes on the attack.  Bryan goes to work on Sheamus’ shoulder.  They trade strikes.  Bryan gets a reverse cradle for 2.  More arm and shoulder torture inflicted by Bryan.  Sheamus makes his comeback and beats up Bryan.  Sheamus hits a fall away slam for 2.  Bryan gets a schoolboy for 2.  Bryan goes for a top rope Frankensteiner, but Sheamus holds on, then hits Bryan with a diving shoulder block for 2.  Sheamus tries to suplex Bryan in from the apron, but Bryan lands on his feet, then low bridges Sheamus out of the ring on the other side.  He goes for a dive, but Sheamus nails him.  Back inside, Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge.  Bryan turns it into a cradle for 2.  Bryan goes for the Yes Lock, but Sheamus counters out repeatedly.  Bryan sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post repeatedly, then kicks the shit out of it while Sheamus is against the ropes.  This causes the referee to DQ Bryan, diving Sheamus the first fall at 14:30.  Bryan goes back on the attack and applies the Yes Lock.  Sheamus struggles, but goes out, and Bryan wins the second fall by referee stop at 16:39.  Bryan celebrates while the ringside doctor checks on Sheamus.  There are dueling “Yes!” and “No!” chants.  Sheamus tells the doctor he can continue.  Bryan charges Sheamus and eats a Brogue Kick.  Delayed cover gets 2.  They trade strikes.  Bryan lands a big kick to the head for 2.  Bryan goes up top.  Sheamus cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Bryan fights him off  and goes for a diving headbutt.  Sheamus avoids it.  Sheamus avoids Bryan in the corner and makes his comeback.  Sheamus lands another Brogue Kick for the pin in 22:55.  Very good match.

WWE YouTube channel plug.

Over the Limit commercial featuring Randy Orton.


Santino Marella is watching the monitor backstage.  2 jobbers are in the ring.  Great Khali comes over to watch too.

The jobbers are named Aaron Relic and Jay Hatton.  They cut a stupid promo about 2 being greater than one.

Handicap Match: Aaron Relic & Jay Hatton vs. Ryback.  There’s a smattering of “Goldberg!” chants.  The jobber with the ridiculous pants attacks Ryback to no avail.  Ryback kills him.  He orders the other jobber to tag in.  The fellow wisely demurs.  Ryback tosses him in anyway and kills him.  Ryback hits the second jobber with a backpack stunner.  Crowd chants “Finish him.”  Ryback kills ridiculous pants with sort of a Fisherman buster Samoan drop, then pins them both in 1:50.  Santino and Khali are impressed.

Matt Striker interviews WWE Champion CM Punk.  Tonight he faces Chris Jericho, who has been insulting his family, in a Chicago Street Fight.

Plug for the PPV theme song.

Punk/Jericho hype video.

Chicago Street Fight for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho.  This is Punk’s hometown, and members of his family are in the front row.  They brawl, because this is a street fight, see.  Punk throws some plunder into the ring.  He whacks Jericho with a Singapore cane.  Jericho drops Punk with a dropkick and gets hold of the cane.  He whacks Punk, then hits his trademark springboard dropkick to the apron, sending Punk to the floor.  Jericho beats up Punk on the outside.  Back inside, Jericho exposes a turnbuckle.  Punk fires back with chops.  Jericho avoids the running knee to the corner and Punk takes another spill outside.  Jericho beats up Punk right in front of his family.  He gets in Punk’s sister’s face and gets slapped.  Jericho lunges for her and Punk kicks his ass.  Punk slams Jericho through the announce table cover.  Punk goes for a piledriver, but Jericho back body drops him, then hits him with a monitor.  Jericho breaks the other announce table cover over Punk’s back.  Back inside, Jericho covers for 2.  Jericho applies a rear chin lock.  Punk escapes with a backdrop suplex.  Punk pulls Jericho’s throat over the top rope and goes for his springboard lariat, but trips.  Jericho wails on him with the Singapore cane.  Jericho taunts Punk and gets caught with an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho responds with something that gets 2.  Jericho brings in a can of beer, which he pours on Punk.  He brings in another beer and starts drinking it.  Punk, meanwhile, starts kicking his ass.  Punk hits the running knee to the corner and the bulldog headlock, then pulls the Singapore cane into Jericho’s balls and signals for the Go 2 Sleep.  He goes for it, but Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Punk counters and hits a powerslam for 2.  Punk goes up top, but Jericho crotches him.  They fight on the top rope.  Punk sends Jericho to the mat with a Mongolian chop, then hits the diving elbow drop for 2.  Jericho counts the Go 2 Sleep again and hits a bulldog.  He goes for the Lionsault, but Punk catches him, picks him up on h is shoulders, and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Jericho counters again and throws Punk into a chair wedged between the turnbuckles.  Jericho gets a schoolboy for 2.  Jericho catches Punk with the Codebreaker and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Punk manages to reach the ropes.  It’s a street fight, so the referee can’t force a break.  Punk somehow gets hold of a fire extinguisher and sprays Jericho with it to escape the hold.  Punk hits Jericho in the stomach with it and sends him to the floor.  Another shot to the gut followed by a kick to the head by Punk.  Jericho is on top of the Spanish announce table.  Punk goes to the top rope and hits the diving elbow through the table.  Punk throws Jericho back into the ring and covers for 2.  Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice.  Jericho whacks Punk with the Singapore cane to escape.  Punk hits Jericho with a chair.  Jericho catches him with a Codebreaker into the chair.  Cover only gets 2.  Jericho is getting frustrated.  He beats on Punk some more.  Jericho tries to give Punk the Go 2 Sleep, just to be a dick.  Punk catches Jericho’s leg and catapults  him into the exposed turnbuckle, then hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 25:14.  This turned out to be a hell of a match.  Punk celebrates with his friends and family.

Don’t try this at home!

Earlier tonight on the pre-show, Santino Marella defeated The Miz with the Cobra to retain the United States Championship.

The Bella Twins and Beth Phoenix bicker backstage.  Eve Torres says Beth isn’t cleared to wrestle.  Whichever Bella is champion will now defend the title against a surprise opponent who isn’t Kharma.

The show Nikki Bella beating Beth for the Divas title last week on Raw after Beth injured her ankle.  The Bellas cut a promo.  The opponent is the returning Layla.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Nikki Bella (c) (w/ Brie Bella) vs. Layla.  They lock up.  Lots of movement from Layla.  Brie trips Layla behind the ref’s back, allowing Nikki to get the advantage.  She DDTs Layla’s foot for 2.  I fucking hate that spot.  Layla gets an inside cradle for 1.  Nikki does whatever.  Layla hits a springboard cross body for 1, then knocks the other Bella off the apron.  Nikki gets the advantage.  Layla gets a wonky cradle.  Nikki counters.  The twins pull the switcheroo.  Brie goes for a facebuster, but Layla turns it into a hangman’s neckbreaker for the pin to win the title in 2:28.  This sucked.

Matt Striker asks John Laurinaitis what he and Triple H were talking about.  Johnny doesn’t tell him.


Lesnar/Cena hype video.

Extreme Rules Match: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena.  Lesnar takes Cena down and mauls him, then kills him with a lariat.  Cena is cut already.  The stop the match to check the cut.  I hate that shit, but I guess Brock is used to it now.  Cena charges Brock and gets taken down and mauled again.  Cena is sent outside.  He’s bleeding pretty bad.  Cena fights back as goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Brock will have none of that and gives him a couple of German suplexes.  Cena hits a shoulder block and knocks Brock into the referee.  The ref is dead, and Brock kills Cena some more.  Brock torments Cena’s arm with a Kimura, then tosses him from the ring again.  Brock follows Cena out and tortures his arm some more.  Back inside, Brock brings in Cena’s chain, then throws it aside because he’s Brock Lesnar and doesn’t need it.  He thinks again and uses it to chain Cena’s legs together.  Brock hangs Cena from the turnbuckle and massacres him for a while.  Cena gets loose and fights back until he’s thrown into the steps.  Brock throws the referee back into the ring and wakes him up.  Cena has the chain his hand, but Brock steps on it and takes it away.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Brock counters and hits the F-5, but kills the referee again in the process.  Another referee runs out, but the delay allows Cena to kick out.  Brock clotheslines the new referee.  Brock brings the steps into the ring.  Cena does his “you can’t see me” and first back.  Brock locks in a Kimura on top of the steps.  Cena manages to pick Brock up and slam him on the steps.  Cena goes for the diving Fameasser, but Brock avoids it.  Brock prances on top of the steps while Cena struggles his way back into the ring.  Cena makes it onto the apron and Brock launches himself at Cena, taking a bad tumble and injuring his knee in the process.  Brock gets up and laughs it off.  He charges Cena again, but Cena punches him with the chain.  Brock is bleeding now.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on the steps for the pin in 17:42.  Aside from the stupidity of putting Cena over in Brock’s first match back, this was awesome.

Cena takes the mic after the match and cuts a promo putting over Chicago.  He says he’s going home, which is a lie.

Good show.  There were a few really good matches.  The main event is soured by the stupidity of Brock losing so quickly.


NWA Clash of the Champions VI: Ragin’ Cajun

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 3, 2012 by Chui

This is my first review in nearly 11 months.  I hope I’ve still got it.

Jim Ross and Michael Hayes introduce the show.  Apparently it’s some kind of legends night.  The show Terry Funk, Lou Thesz, Gene Kiniski, Sam Muchnick, and Pat O’Connor arriving.  They had dinner with NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ricky Steamboat had dinner with them.  Buddy Rogers, Dory Funk Jr., and Harley Race are also there.  Jim Herd says some kind words about them.

Opening video.

They play the national anthem.  Pyro and ballyhoo.

Commercials.  There’s a plug for the Wrestling Hotline.  1-900-909-9900.  Not that I recommend trying that number in 2012.

Gary Michael Cappetta is the ring announcer.

The Samoan Swat Team (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) vs. The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette).  Samu beats up Lane to start.  Lane scores a shoulder block.  They do some drop down and leap overs.  Lane ends up getting a cross body for a 1 count.  Samu accidentally knocks Fatu off the apron.  Fatu recovers quickly and tags in to put a hurting on Lane.  Lane is having none of that and tags in Eaton.  Eaton hits a diving dropkick.  I’m not going to dignify it with the name of missile dropkick.  MX make quick tags and work over Fatu.  Cornette hits Samu with the tennis racket on the outside, which pisses Samu off.  MX continue working over Fatu.  Fatu chops Lane in the throat and tags out.  Lane gets a sunset flip on Samu for 2.  The Samoans try to double team Lane in the corner, but Samu ends up accidentally decking Fatu again.  Hayes on commentary calls this “a main event in any arena.”  He must have hit the nose candy before they went on the air.  MX work over Samu.  The Samoans cut Lane off briefly, but Eaton gets the tag and cleans house.  MX switch behind the referee’s back without making a tag, but they’re babyfaces so it’s okay.  The match continues to drag.  Lane gets a near fall off a jackknife hold.  The referee took a while to count because everyone was in the ring.  Samoans get the heat on Eaton.  Lane gets the hot tag and runs wild.  The Samoans conk heads, which we know has no effect on Samoans.  Paul E. trips Lane.  Cornette hits Fatu with the tennis racket.  Samu kicks Lane.  Fatu covers for 2.  Fatu beats up Lane for a while.  Fatu knocks Eaton off the apron.  This pisses Eaton off, so he comes in to distract Tommy Young while the Samoans double team Lane.  Fatu goes for a diving headbutt, but Lane avoids it.  Samu and Eaton tag in.  Eaton runs wild.  He bonks the Samoans’ heads together.  They shrug it off and headbutt him.  One of the Samoans accidentally hits the other when Eaton moves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  MX hit the Rocket Laucher while Cornette decks Paul E.  Fatu hits Eaton with Paul E’s cell phone and puts Samu on top.  Samu pins Eaton in 20:33.  Solid formulaic tag match, but felt long.

Next, The Great Muta!

Great Muta (w/ Gary Hart) vs. Steve Casey.  Man, Muta is young here.  He meditates, then blows mist into the air, the blows mist into Casey’s face and kicks his ass.  Muta hits a handspring elbow to the corner, then hits a snapmare and clamps on a rear chin lock.  Casey manages to hit an arm drag and works Muta’s arm a bit.  Muta hits a nifty dropkick in the corner, then sends Casey outside and teases a dive.  Hart throws Casey back into the ring and Muta hits a diving dropkick.  Muta rakes Casey’s eyes and continues beating on him.  Casey works Muta’s arm a bit more.  Muta flips around and works on Casey’s leg.  Muta drops Casey with a sweet roundhouse kick, then puts a claw on his armpit.  Not a typo.  Casey makes his comeback and runs wild briefly.  Muta avoids a dropkick and sends Casey out of the ring with the kick that Shelton Benjamin would call the Dragon Whip 15 years later.  Muta then wipes Casey out with a cross body to floor and throws him into the barricade.  Back inside, Muta hits a backbreaker and finishes Casey with the moonsault press in 8:12.  Fine little showcase for Muta.  I love Muta, I love moonsaults, and I love Muta’s moonsaults.

Junkyard Dog comes out with a New Orleans marching band.

Junkyard Dog vs. “Hacksaw” Butch Reed (w/ Hiro Matsuda).  Ross puts over that these two are old rivals from the Mid-South territory, appropriate since we’re in the Superdome in New Orleans.  JYD lands a punc and Reed bails for a moment.  They want to fight, but Teddy Long insists that they open up the hands.  JYD grabs a side headlock, then some shoulder blocks.  He does the doggie headbutting deal and sends Reed outside again.  Reed dicks around for a bitm then comes back in.  JYD works Reed’s arm some.  JYD hits a hip toss and a body slam and continues to beat up Reed.  Reed finally gets the advantage and beats up JYD.  Reed drops some elbows for 2, then clamps on a chin lock.  JYD almost goes down, but rallies and makes his comeback.  BIG back body drop by JYD gets 2.  Double clothesline spot.  Reed hits  a diving shoulder block and covers, but JYD gets his foot on the ropes.  Reed stupidly celebrates.  Matsuda distracts the ref.  Reed collides with Matsuda.  For some reason, this knocks Reed out and allows JYD to get the pin in 8:54.  It wasn’t completely horrible.

Bob Orton Jr. (w/ Gary Hart) vs. “Captain Redneck” Dick Murdoch.  Lock up.  Orton hits a couple of fireman’s carrys.  Spell check doesn’t like that word.  Murdoch hits a fireman’s carry of his own.  They trade arm wringers.  I approve.  The work around arm locks for some time, and I’m perfectly fine with that.  Murdoch escapes a rough spot and they lock up again.  Orton puts a hurting on the back of Murdoch’s head.  Murdoch fights back on spaghetti legs (term stolen from Jim Ross).  Murdoch lands a dropkick and Orton takes a front bump into the turnbuckles.  Murdoch drops Orton with a BIG right hand.  Murdoch rolls to the floor and beats up Orton on the apron.  Orton rallies and goes for the superplex.  Murdoch fights him off and lands some blows.  Orton rakes the eyes.  Murdoch catches Orton coming into the corner and drops him.  Murdoch goes for the brainbuster, but Hart trips him and Orton lands on top for the pin in 9:47.  I dug the hell out of this.

NWA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Road Warriors (c) (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. Mike Rotunda & “Dr. Death” Steve Williams of The Varsity Club (w/ Kevin Sullivan).  Hawk and Rotunda start.  Hawk gets the better of it and Rotunda bails.  Hawk gives chased, but is blocked by referee Teddy Long.  Animal tags in.  He gets whipped towards the enemy corner and drops Doc with an elbow smash.  Animal press slams Rotunda.  Doc runs in and gets the same treatment.  Hawk and Doc tag in and brawl.  Hawk hits an atomic drop and a clothesline.  Cover, but Rotunda pulls him off.  Doc hits a clothesline and taunts Animal.  Rotunda tags in and hits an elbow drop for 2.  Hawk kicks out with authority.  Animal tags in and grabs a headlock.  Doc tags in and Animal gabs him too.  They go for a backdrop suplex, but Animal flips out and dropkicks them, then hits a double clothesline.  Animal gets low bridged out of the ring.  Doc drops him in the hard floor.  Back inside, the heels get the heat on Animal.  Hawk gets the tag, but the referee didn’t see it.  Animal continues to play face in peril.  He eventually drops Rotunda with a lariat.  Doc prevents him from making the tag.  Animal clotheslines Doc.  Hawk gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Animal shoves the ref.  Doomsday Device on Rotunda.  Sullivan and Ellering brawl on the floor.  Long refuses to count for the Road Warriors.  Doc schoolboys Hawk and Long makes a fast count to give the Varsity Club the titles in 11:37.  Okay match.  This must be the beginning of Teddy’s heel turn and becoming a manager.

Jim Ross interviews some pissed off Road Warriors and Paul Ellering at ringside.

Ranger Ross vs. The Iron Sheik (w/ Rip Morgan).  America vs. Iran.  Sheik sings the Iranian national anthem, then jumps Ross and chokes him with his robe.  Sheik hits a side suplex, then chokes Ross with his own shirt.  Ross hits a suplex for 1.  Rosss beats up Sheik.  Sheik applies an abdominal stretch.  Ross rallies and kicks Sheik in the head.  Cover.  Morgan hits Ross with the flag to cause the DQ in 1:55.  Sheik and Morgan attack Ross.  Junkyard Dog makes the save.

Bob Caudle interviews Ric Flair, who is going for his 6th World Championship tonight.

NWA United States Tag Team Championship Match: Rick Steiner & Eddie Gilbert (c) of The First Family (w/ Missy Hyatt) vs. Kevin Sullivan & Dan Spivey of The Varsity Club.  The heels attack the champs before the bell and get the jump on them.  The much larger Spivey beats up Gilbert.  The much shorter Sullivan tags in and provokes Steiner, who kindly distracts referee Tommy Young so Spivey can beat up Gilbert on the outside.  Gilbert continues to take abuse from the Varsity Club.  Steiner gets the tag and runs wild on Spivey.  Powerslam gets 2.  Steiner hits a belly to belly.  Sullivan breaks the cover.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Steiner clotheslines Spivey and both tumble out of the ring.  Gilbert nails Sullivan with Hyatt’s Gucci bag and cradles him for the pin in 3:51, even though neither were legal.  The Varsity Club beat up Gilbert, but Steiner makes the save with a chair.  It was short.

Wrestling Hotline!

2/3 Falls Match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat (c) (w/ Bonnie & Richie Steamboat) vs. “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair.  Terry Funk has joined Jim Ross for commentary on this match.  Flair and Steamboat lock up.  Steamboat pushes Flair into the corner and slaps him.  They trade holds and do some amateur-type stuff o the mat.  Steamboat slaps the piss out of Flair again, then wins a power arm lock contest.  Flair gets the ropes to break and bails.  They lock up again.  Steamboat hits a hip toss and gets a side headlock takeover.  They work around the headlock for a bit.  I always enjoy that.  They trade chops.  Back to the headlock.  Flair forces Steamboat into the corner and chops him.  Steamboat replies with a chop that knocks Flair off his feet.  Steamboat hits a big back body drop.  Flair lands a closed fist punch.  Steamboat gets a reverse cradle for 2, then hits a clothesline and goes back to the headlock.  Steamboat beats up Flair a bit.  Flair face plants and Steamboat covers for 2.  Flair hits an inverted atomic drop.  Steamboat drops Flair with another chop for 2.  Steamboat hits a shoulder block for 2.  Another chop gets 2 for Steamboat.  Flair bails and face plants at ringside.  Back inside, Flair lands some chops.  Steamboat responds in kind.  Steamboat gets another near fall.  Steamboat hits a vertical suplex and goes for a splash, but Flair gets his knees up.  Flair goes to work on Steamboat.  Flair hits a butterfly suplex and tries to hold Steamboat down, but gets only a series of 2 counts.  Steamboat fires back, but whiffs a dropkick.  Flair goes for the figure-four, but Steamboat cradles him ala Chi-Town Rumble.  Flair cuts back the cradle and pins Steamboat to win the first fall in 19:35.  Commercials.  They go at it again.  Steamboat hits a diving chop for 2.  Flair hits a backdrop suplex and a knee drop.  He misses a second knee drop and Steamboat attacks his leg.  Steamboat locks in the figure-four.  Flair suffers for a moment, but gets the ropes.  Steamboat locks on a crab hold.  Flair gets another rope break and hides out in the corner.  Steamboat goes back on the attack anyway.  They do some more sweet mat wrestling, then end up outside.  Flair sends Steamboat into the barricade and slams him on the floor.  Coming back inside, Flair jerks Steamboat’s neck down across the ropes.  Flair suplexes Steamboat back inside for 2.  Flair applies an abdominal stretch and turns it into a ground Cobra Twist for 2.  Flair tries to pin Steamboat with his feet on the ropes, but fails.  Steamboat gets a reverse cradle for 2, then a jackknife hold for 2.  Flair goes back on the offensive.  He goes up top, but Steamboat cuts him off and hits a superplex.  Steamboat applies a double chickenwing armlock and Flair submits to give Steamboat the second fall in 35:03.  Insta-commercials.  They keep going hard at it.  Flair hits a shin breaker and applies the figure-four.  Steamboat quickly gets the ropes.  Flair argues with the referee.  They do some stuff.  Flair does the Flair flip in the corner and runs into a chop from Steamboat on the apron.  Flair begs off, then trips up Steamboat and goes for the Flair pin in the corner, but only gets 2.  Steamboat misses Flair in the corner and gets hung their briefly, injuring his knee.  Flair goes to work on the leg and reapplies the figure-four.  Steamboat suffers for a while, but finally roles into the ropes.  Flair sends Steamboat’s bad leg into the apron.  Flair hits a diving cross body for 2.  Steamboat goes for a slam, but his leg gives out and Flair gets another 2 count.  Steamboat hits a flying headbutt and a chop, then comes off the top with the diving cross body for 2.  Steamboat hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Steamboat goes for a springboard sunset flip.  Flair fights it, but Steamboat gets him over for 2.  Flair clamps on a sleeper hold.  Steamboat nearly goes out, but rallies and manages to send Flair outside.  Back inside, Steamboat lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Steamboat comes off the top rope, but Flair avoids it and goes back to work on Steamboat’s leg.  They trade chops.  Steamboat wins the exchange and beats up Flair int he corner.  Flair goes for an inverted atomic drop, but Steamboat blocks it and chops him.  Cover, but Flair gets his foot on the rope.  Flair elbows Steamboat on the head and hits a backdrop suplex.  Flair goes up top again.  Steamboat throws him off.  Steamboat gets the chickenwing armlock again.  Steamboat’s leg gives out and they fall back, putting both mens’ shoulders on the mat.  Steamboat lifts his at the last second and gets the pin in 55:30, even though Flair’s foot is under the rope.  Steamboat retains the title.  Great match, but I disagree with those who say this is better than Chi-Town Rumble.  Insta-commercials.

Jim Ross interviews NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ricky Steamboat.  He’s ready to move on from Ric Flair.  They examine the video and see that Flair’s foot was on the bottom rope.  Steamboat agrees that Flair deserves another shot.

Enjoyable show.  Flair/Steamboat is a classic and I really dug the Orton/Murdoch match and the Muta showcase.

WWE Monday Night Raw 11/15/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 15, 2010 by Chui

The recognized symbol of excellence in sports entertainment!  Awesome Raw open with current starts in an old style open.  Pyro and ballyhoo!  Old school logos, sirens, etc.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers and are in old school attire.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Mean Gene Okerlund comes out to the old school interview podium.  He introduces “Cowboy” Bob Orton Jr.  He starts to introduce Randy, but Bob says he’s not there yet.  Okerlund interviews Orton about his son’s chances at Survivor Series.  He says something I didn’t catch that angers the crowd.  Wade Barrett comes out and chastises him about being old and whatnot.  The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz talks about being a dick last week and his Money In The Bank privilege.  He says he might cash in tonight and fuck up the Survivor Series main event, somehow forcing Cena to stay in Nexus forever.  John Cena appears on the screen and tells Miz that he’s not going to allow any such frivolities and challenges Miz to a match tonight.  Miz accepts.  Commercials.  This is fun, with the old school set and music and all. plug.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Mark Henry.  OLD SCHOOL INSET PROMOS DURING ENTRANCES!  Henry comes out to the Sexual Chocolate theme!  Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold.  Henry throws him out of the ring.  Blue ring apron, posts, and steps!  Red, white, and blue ring ropes!  Old school logos on the turnbuckle pads!  Referees wearing light blue shirts and bow ties!  This rules.  Henry beats up Ziggler.  Ziggler fails to apply the sleeper hold again.  Ziggler gets crotched on the top rope and falls to the floor.  Sexual Chocolate leers at Vickie, then press slams Ziggler back into the ring.  Ziggler dropkicks Henry’s knee and puts the boots to him.  Ziggler beats up Henry.  Henry hits a powerslam, but Ziggler gets a foot on the bottom rope.  Ziggler avoids getting squashed by a big splash and hits a Fameasser for 2.  Cole called it the Zig Zag because he’s mentally retarded.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pi… no, 2!  Amazingly, Cole didn’t call it the Fameasser.  Ziggler locks in a scissored sleeper and wins by referee stop in 4:27.  The environment made this way more fun to watch than it should have been.

The Hart Dynasty chat backstage about working through their problems.  They encounter Tony Atlas, who babbles about teaming with Rocky Johnson back in the day and rubs WD-40 onto his skin.  Hilarious.  Commercials.

Backstage, Tony Atlas is STILL rambling!  Yoshi Tatsu is listening, and feigns committing seppuku.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Nexus vs. The Hart Dynasty.  Smith and Slater start with a great wrestling exchange.  Gabriel throws some kicks, but Smith catches one and trips him.  Smith beats up Gabriel.  Smith hits ROLLING BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEXES for 2.  Slater saves.  Slater tags in.  Smith powerslams him and hits a leg drop for 2.  Smith goes for the running powerslam, but gets distracted by Gabriel.  Slater gets the advantage on Smith.  Nexus make quick tags and work Smith over.  Smith goes to tag in Kidd, but Kidd TURNS HEEL and kicks him in the head!  Gabriel hits the 450 splash on Smith for the pin in 3:05.  The Hart Dynasty has finally collapsed!

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews WWE Champion Randy Orton (w/ his dad, “Cowboy” Bob Orton Jr.).  R-Truth interrupts to tell him about how Cena is going to fuck him on Sunday.  Orton says he’s going to kick Cena in the head tonight to keep that from happening.  Commercials.

Random note: I also love the old school shirts everyone is wearing tonight.

Old school plug with Mean Gene plugging old school merchandise!

Justin Roberts introduces Howard Finkel, who will be doing ring announcing for at least the next match.  He’s still awesome.  He should be doing ring announcing full time!  He introduces The Brooklyn Brawler (w/ Harvey Whippleman)!  They heel on the crowd and issue an open challenge to anyone from “the new school.”  ZEKE accepts!

The Brooklyn Brawler (w/ Harvey Whippleman) vs. Ezekiel Jackson.  Zeke hits a shoulder block.  Brawler talks shit, shoves Zeke, and tries to slam him.  Zeke mauls him.  Zeke hits the Book of Ezekiel for the pin in 50 seconds.  Awesome!

Tonight, John Cena vs. The Miz!  Old school match graphics!  Commercials!

The 5 lesser members of The Nexus are backstage.  David Otunga says that somebody needs to deal with R-Truth.  He calls himself “leader,” which Barrett overhears.  Barrett tells Otunga that he’ll be the one facing R-Truth tonight.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  Shouldn’t they use an old computer for this?  iBooker says Otunga already has a “special” match tonight, so Barrett will face R-Truth tonight.  Barrett is fine with this.  Harris says they have his back, but Barrett says he’ll handle this.  John Cena comes in to talk about whatever.  Barrett orders Harris and McGillicutty to have Cena’s back tonight.  Cena declines.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night, but it’s written OLD SCHOOL!

John Cena and The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) come out for their match.  They show Miz screwing Randy Orton in the 10-man tag last week.  Miz cuts a promo and sends Riley to fight in his stead.

John Cena vs. Alex Riley (w/ The Miz).  They lock up.  Cena hits a snap mare.  Cole babbles about not knowing what year it is.  Cena outclasses Riley some more.  Riley lands an elbow smash.  Miz decks Cena behind the referee’s back.  Riley pounds on Cena.  Cena fights back, but misses Riley in the corner and eats turnbuckle pads.  Riley beats up Cena some more.  Riley hits a move that we don’t see because the camera was focused on Miz for 2.  Retarded camera work in this match.  Cena makes his comeback.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, then locks in the STF for the win in 3:43.  It was fine.

Randy Orton runs out and brawls with Miz.  Husky Harris and Michael McGillicutty jump Orton.  Orton kicks their asses.  Cena and Orton face off and brawl.  The old school referees and officials (including Tony Garea!) break them up.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker.  Ugh.  iBooker says that later tonight, Cena and Orton will be guests on Piper’s Pit!  Thank God we don’t have to suffer through another Orton/Cena match tonight.  Commercials!

The recognized symbol of excellence in sports entertainment!  They play that and the open again.  I don’t know why, and I don’t care.  It’s cool.

Cole and Lawler talk.

Howard Finkel introduces The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff!  Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem.  In 2010.  Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov come out.  Kozlov wants to sing the Soviet anthem with Volkoff!  They sing!  This rules!  Santino stops them because it’s awful.  He wants to sing his own song.  He brings out THE DOCTOR OF STYLE, SLICK!  SLICK COMES OUT TO JIVE SOUL BRO!  THIS IS THE GREATEST SHOW EVER!  Sheik babbles incoherently.  I can’t believe they gave that man a live mic.  The Usos come out.  We’ve got a tag title #1 Contender match next.  In the Usos’ corner will be JIMMY “SUPERFLY” SNUKA!  Commercials.

WWE Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka & Tamina).  JIP.  The Usos get the heat on Santino.  Santino hits Jey with a judo throw and gator rolls him to the corner.  Kozlov tags in and hits Jey with a fall away slam.  Santino tags in and hits a slam thingy for 2.  Kozlov tags back in and beats up Jey some more.  Jimmy blind tags in and takes out Kozlov’s leg.  Jimmy hits a jumping headbutt for 2.  Jimmy hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Jimmy works a rear chin lock.  Kozlov breaks free and knocks Jimmy across the ring with a battering ram headbutt.  Jey tags in and cuts Kozlov off from making the tag.  Santino gets knocked off the apron, then distracts the referee so his partner can get double teamed.  The Usos work over Kozlov.  Jimmy tries to knock Santino off again, but Santino decks him.  Kozlov makes the hot tag to Santino, who runs wild on Jimmy.  Confusion ensues.  Actually, I think that’s Jey getting run wild upon.  Santino hits the Cobra on Jey for the pin (about 5 1/2 minutes shown).  This wasn’t any good.

Sheamus runs in, drops Kozlov and the Usos, and goes after Santino.  Santino begs off.  John Morrison appears, low bridges Sheamus out of the ring, and knocks him off the apron with an enzuigiri.  Morrison says he keeps attacking Sheamus because Sheamus is a bully who will run away when confronted.  He challenges Sheamus to fight.  Sheamus does just as Morrison said he would and leaves.

Tonight, Piper’s Pit with Cena and Orton!  Commercials!

The Survivor Series song is some crappy song by some crappy band.

David Otunga vs. Kofi Kingston.  Inset promo from Kingston!  Kingston lands some leg kicks, then grabs a side headlock.  Otunga catches a cross body and slams Kingston.  Otunga slams Kingston again.  And again.  Cover gets 2.  Otunga grabs a headlock.  Kofi fights out.  Otunga hits what Cole calls an elbow but what looked to me like a back butt for 2.  Otunga grabs a chin lock.  Kofi fights back and starts his comeback.  Double clothesline spot.  George “The Animal” Steele comes out and teases eating the turnbuckle pad.  The referee stops him, so he eats one in a different corner.  Otunga is back on his feet and his like “WTF?”  Kofi gets up and rams his head into the exposed turnbuckle, then hits the Trouble In Paradise for the pin in 4:50.  Heh.

Gerald Brisco and Arn Anderson compliment John Morrison on dealing with Sheamus.  Sheamus hits Morrison with the pump kick out of nowhere and accepts his challenge for a match… at Survivor Series.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Aksana walks around backstage with the Million Dollar Championship.  “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan shows up to tell her that her mom is there.  Huh?  It’s Dusty Rhodes with a curly blond wig.  He has Kelly Kelly drop a net on her.  Goldust steals the Million Dollar belt back from her.  He returns the belt to it’s rightful owner, “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase.  Irwin R. Schyster promises to find him a good tax shelter.  Dibiase tries to give the belt back to his son, Ted Dibiase Jr., but Jr. doesn’t want it.  Cody Rhodes says “that ended far from dashing.”  Goldust and Cody walk away.  Dusty says “I raised some weird kids.”  They play Dusty’s “Common Man” theme.  Dusty, Tatanka, and Hacksaw dance. Ron Simmons sees this and says “DAMN!”  Funny stuff.

Earlier tonight, SHIT WENT DOWN between John Cena and Randy Orton.

R-Truth and Eve Torres are headed our way!  Commercials! plug.

“Promotional Consideration Paid For By The Following…”  R.D. Reynolds just WrestleCrapped his pants.

R-Truth (w/ Eve Torres) vs. Wade Barrett.  They brawl.  Truth flips around and hits the break dancing kick.  Truth clotheslines Barrett out of the ring and hits him with a somersault dive.  Back inside, Truth goes up top.  Barrett goes to cut him off.  Truth jumps over him, but Barrett catches Truth with a sidewalk slam.  Barrett his a suplex for 2.  Barrett hits a diving elbow drop for 2.  Barrett his a backbreaker for 2.  John Cena and Randy Orton are both show watching backstage.  Truth gets an inside cradle that we almost missed for 2.  Barrett applies a rear chin lock.  Truth makes his comeback and gets a fancy cradle for 2.  Truth hits a front suplex for 2.  Barrett avoids the scissors kick and goes for the Wasteland.  Truth counters, but gets booted in the face.  Barrett hits the Wasteland for the pin in 5:06.  It was fine.

Tonight, Cena and Orton on Piper’s Pit!  Commercials!

They play the opens again.

Cole and Lawler goof off.

Ricardo Rodriguez is here!  That’s 3 ring announcers tonight.  Tito Santana comes out to cut him off and introduces Alberto Del Rio himself!  Del Rio has Chavo Classic driving him!  Del Rio cuts a promo.  He wants the other legends to kiss his ass like Tito and Chavo.  Sergeant Slaughter comes out and cuts an awesome promo.  “Shut your hole, puke, and listen up!  There’s 2 things you don’t mess with: Legends and America!”  He challenges Del Rio to a match.  Del Rio accepts.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sergeant Slaughter.  Del Rio beats on Slaughter.  Slaughter locks in the Cobra Clutch.  Del Rio gets a rope break and elbows Sarge in the face.  Del Rio hits a clothesline for 2.  Del Rio applies a rear chin lock.  Slaughter fights out.  Del Rio beats him up some more.  Sarge locks in the Cobra Clutch again.  Del Rio backs him into the corner and breaks free, then whips Sarge into the corner and hits an enzuigiri for the pin in 1:54.  It was what it was.  Del Rio applies the cross armbreaker after the match.  MVP comes out and runs off Del Rio.

Mean Gene plugs WWE merchandise again.  Commercials.

Cole and Lawler talk.  Cole is being a dick,

WrestleMania tickets went on sale last weekend!

Mean Gene Okerlund brings out Mae Young!  She’s escorted by the Bella Twins.  Poor thing.  They show a really old black & white picture.  Mae was a babe in her day.  They show a video package on some of her exploits.  Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla come out to be obnoxious bitches and ruin a feel good moment.  Mae Young wants a match “with these sluts!”  She’s a feisty old gal!  “You little bitches, let’s go!”  LayCool laugh.  The bell rings.  This is a real match!  Falls count anywhere!

Handicap Falls Count Anywhere Match: Mae Young (w/ The Bella Twins) vs. Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla.  Natalya, Gail Kim, Melina, and Eve Torres come out and beat up LayCool.  Mae slaps Layla and pins her in 54 seconds!  Awesome!  Commercials!  That was AWESOME!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Howard Finkel introduces JIM ROSS to do commentary on the next match!  YAY!  Michael Cole is not happy about this.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger.  It’s so good to hear J.R. again.  Bryan and Swagger lock up.  Awesome grappling.  Danielson counters out of the ankle lock and lands a Mirko Cro Cop head kick.  Cole needs to shut the fuck up and let J.R. talk.  More awesome grappling on the mat.  Danielson leapfrogs Swagger and  lands a dropkick for 1.  Danielson back flips over Swagger and gets booted in the face.  Commercials.  Cole needs to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP RUINING THE MOMENT.  Jim Ross welcomes us back to Raw as Swagger has Bryan in a hold.  Cole is BEING A FUCKING IGNORANT PRICK AND NEEDS TO FUCK OFF AND DIE.  Swagger beats up Bryan.  Swagger gator rolls Bryan out of the ring and pounds him on the apron.  I’d give my right nut for the chance to punch Michael Cole in the face right now.  Bryan low bridges Swagger out of the ring.  COLE NEEDS TO FUCK OFF.  Danielson lands a baseball slide dropkick, then hits a flying knee off the apron!  STOP CUTTING TO COLE, YOU FUCKS!  Back inside, Danielson hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Bryan kicks the crap out of Swagger.  Swagger catches his leg and goes for the ankle lock.  Bryan flips Swagger into the corner, then misses Swagger in the corner and hurts himself.  SHUT UP, COLE!  Swagger hits a Vader Bomb for 2.  Lawler finally tells Cole to “shut the hell up.”  Swagger hits another Vader Bomb.  He goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Danielson dead weights him and goes for the LeBell Lock.  Swagger counters into a backbreaker.  Danielson counters the Doctor Bomb again and lands the high kick for the pin in 10:44.  Awesome match that even Cole’s retardation couldn’t ruin.  Ted Dibiase Jr. appears and hits Bryan with the Dream Street, then poses with the United States title belt as his awful music plays.  Maryse comes out just so they can leave together.  Cole needs to fuck off and die.

Survivor Series hype.

J.R. slaps Cole with his cowboy hat!  YAY!

Orton and Cena are headed our way!  Commercials!

Promotional consideration paid for by the following!

Justin Roberts introduces the legends to the crowd: Jimmy Snuka, Bob Orton Jr., Irwin R. Schyster, Tito Santana, Sergeant Slaughter, Jim Duggan, Brooklyn Brawler, Chavo Classic, Mean Gene Okerlund, Howard Finkel, Mae Young, Gerald Brisco, Ted Dibiase, Slick, Tatanka, Tony Atlas, Arn Anderson, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes, George Steele, Jim Ross, The Iron Sheik, and Nikolai Volkoff.  That’s nice!  “Hey, here’s a bunch of our agents and other guys we’ve fired a bunch of times!” -My buddy mhirn.

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper comes out to do Piper’s Pit!  He cuts a promo, then introduces John Cena.  Piper bitches at Cena about disrespecting legends by possibly giving Wade Barrett the WWE Championship this Sunday.  He urges Cena to do the ring thing.  Cena replies at length about his respect for the legends.  He says he’ll call the match right down the middle.  That means he’s going to screw someone.  Wade Barrett comes out and says that’s fine, because he doesn’t need help to win, but Cena is still fired if Barrett loses.  Piper bitches Barrett out in awesome crazy old man style.  Barrett bitches at Piper, then Cena.  He forces Cena to put on a Nexus t-shirt.  Why the hell is he just now doing that?  Cena puts the shirt on, then tells Barrett he’s going to turn his face into mush on Sunday.  Barrett says Nexus will kick Cena’s ass before he can hurt Barrett.  WWE Champion Randy Orton comes out, talks to Cena for a minute, then beats up Barrett.  Orton humps the mat.  Cena intervenes before Orton can hit the RKO or come or whatever he’s trying to do.  Orton RKOs Cena and goes for the PUNT OF DEATH.  Barrett cuts him off.  Cena avoids the punt and hits the Attitude Adjustment.  Barrett orders Cena to raise his hand.  Cena gives Barrett the Attitude Adjustment instead.  He takes off the Nexus shirt and throws it on Barrett.  Piper raises Cena’s hand to close the show.  Why isn’t Miz cashing in right now while the getting is good?

I don’t care if most of the wrestling sucked (I say “most” because Bryan vs. Swagger was awesome), this show ruled!

WWF WrestleMania III

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 27, 2010 by Chui

WWE open.  WrestleMania III!

Vince McMahon is in the ring to welcome us to the Pontiac Silverdome for WrestleMania III.  Then, he introduces Aretha Franklin to sing America the Beautiful.

The announcers, Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura, talk to special guests Mary Hart and Bob Uecker, then throw it to ring announcer, Howard Finkel for the first match.

The Can-Am Connection vs. “Cowboy” Bob Orton Jr. & Don Muraco (w/ Mr. Fuji).  Muraco and Martel start.  Man, there are a lot of people in the Pontiac Silverdome.  Zenk tags in and they double team both opponents.  Orton and Zenk go at it.  Zenk slams Orton.  Orton stumbles into the wrong corner and gets decked.  They reverse each others’ full nelsons.  Muraco accidentally decks Orton.  Zenk covers for 2.  Martel tags in and works Orton’s arm.  Zenk and Muraco tag in.  The heels start to get heat on Zenk for a minute.  Martel tags in and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  The Can-Ams whip the heels into each other and Muraco backdrops Orton.  Orton gets sent out of the ring.  Martel hits a cross body on Muraco for the pin in 5:37.  It was fine.

Billy Jack Haynes/Hercules video package.

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Bobby Heenan and Hercules.  Bizarre promo from Hercules.  Heenan cals Haynes “Billy Jerk Haynes.”  How clever.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules Hernandez (w/ Bobby Heenan).  They’re feuding over who the master of the full nelson is.  They lock up and go at it.  Haynes press slams Hercules.  He goes for the full nelson, but Hercules scampers to the ropes.  Haynes punches Hercules.  Hercules DROPS him with a lariat.  Hercules back body drops Haynes and punishes his back in other ways, such as whipping him into the turnbuckles and suplexing him.  Hercules covers off the suplex, then lets Haynes up.  Haynes fights back, but Hercules clobbers his back.  Hercules continues to punish Haynes’ back.  Hercules goes for the full nelson, but can’t get his fingers locked.  Haynes hulks up and breaks the hold, but Hercules hits him in the back of the head.  Double clothesline spot.  Haynes hits an inverted atomic drop, a clothesline, some more blows, another clothesline, and a leg drop.  Haynes his a diving fist drop.  Haynes locks in the full nelson.  They go out together through the ropes and Haynes locks the full nelson in on the outside.  Double count-out in 7:53.  It was fine.  Heenan cheap shots Haynes.  Haynes chases him around the ring.  Hercules hits Haynes with his chain repeatedly and busts him open, then puts him in the full nelson for good measure.

Mean Gene interviews King Kong Bundy and his midgets.

Bob Uecker has joined Heenan and Ventura for commentary.

Mean Gene interviews Hillbilly Jim and his midgets.

King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo, & Lord Littlebrook vs. Hillbilly Jim, Little Beaver, & The Haiti Kid.  They edit out “Don’t Go Messin’ With A Country Boy,” which is akin to blasphemy.  Haiti and Tokyo start.  Midget wrestling!  All four midgets run the ropes.  The heel midgets collide.  The face midgets do the row the boat bit with their legs.  Beaver smacks Tokyo silly, so Tokyo tags in Littlebrook.  Beaver hits Bundy in the gut, which pisses him off.  Bundy tags in.  Beaver dropkicks him to no effect, then tags in Hillbilly Jim.  Jim clotheslines Bundy, then drops an elbow.  Jim and the midgets cover for 2.  Beaver comes in and smacks Bundy with an object.  Bundy avalanches Jim.  Bundy finally has enough of his shit and body slams Little Beaver, then drops an elbow on him.  The referee DQs Bundy in 4:22.  No fair!  That midget was starting shit.  The four midgets and Jim chase Bundy off.  Poor Bundy.  The midget had it coming.

Mary Hart interviews Miss Elizabeth.  The Intercontinental Champion, Randy Savage interrupts.  Hart didn’t want to talk to him.

Race/JYD video package.

Mean Gene interviews Harley Race, Fabulous Moolah, and Bobby Heenan.

Bob Uecker apparently has a thing for Moolah.

Mean Gene interviews JYD.

Loser Must Bow To The Winner: King Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan & WWF Women’s Champion The Fabulous Moolah) vs. Junkyard Dog.  They brawl.  Race throws JYD out of the ring and tries a headbutt off the apron, but JYD avoids it!  JYD beats up Race.  JYD avoids another headbutt.  JYD whips Race into the corner.  Race Flair flips out of the ring.  Heenan distracts JYD, allowing Race to hit a belly to belly suplex for the pin in 3:22.  This sucked.  JYD bows, then hits Race with a chair.  JYD steals Race’s robe.

Vince McMahon interviews the WWF Champion, Hulk Hogan.  He cuts a bizarre promo.

The Rougeau Brothers are introduces, then we get a Dream Team interview before their entrance.

The Rougeau Brothers vs. The Dream Team (w/ Johnny Valiant & Dino Bravo).  Raymond and Beefcake start.  Atomic drop and a tag to Jacques.  Double dropkick to Beefcake.  Valentine tags in and hammers Jacques.  Tag to Raymond, who hits a cross body for 2.  Jacques gets back in.  Valentine avoids a cross body and hammers him, too.  Tag to Valentine, who drops a knee on Jacques for 2.  Tag to Valentine, and some double teaming by the Dream Team.  Bobby Heenan comes into the broadcast booth.  Valentine locks Jacques in the figure-four leglock.  Valentine goes for a sunset flip, but Jacques punches him and tags in Raymond.  Raymond locks Valentine in a sleeper.  Beefcake tries to save and accidentally hits Valentine.  Rougeaus hit a Doomsday leg lariat on Valentine and Raymond gets a jackknife cradle.  With the referee distracted, Bravo comes in and hits Raymond.  Valentine pins Raymond in 4:04.  It was alright.  Valiant, Valentine, and Bravo leave without Beefcake.

Adonis/Piper video package.

Adonis makes his entrance, then they show a pre-taped interview with Adonis and Jimmy Hart.

Hair vs. Hair, Roddy Piper Retirement Match: Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Roddy Piper.  They brawl.  Piper whips Adonis with his belt, then chokes Jimmy Hart with it.  Adonis hits Piper from behind, then whips Piper with the belt.  Piper whips Adonis into the corner.  Flair flip.  Piper pulls Adonis back in, and Hart along with him.  Piper knocks their heads together, then throws Hart into Adonis and sends them both tumbling out of the ring.  Piper pulls Adonis back in, beats him up, then launches Hart off the top rope into Adonis.  Hart trips Piper behind the referee’s back.  Adonis rakes Piper’s chest.  Ouch.  Adonis uses his amble bulk to knock Piper down, then scrapes at him some more.  They go outside.  Adonis rams Piper into the timekeeper’s table.  Hart hits Piper.  Adonis hammers Piper back in the ring.  Piper fights back.  Hart sprays perfume in Piper’s eyes.  Adonis locks Piper in the sleeper hold.  Adonis lets it go before the referee can check the arm the last time.  Brutus Beefcake comes in and shakes Piper awake.  Piper decks Jimmy Hart, ducks a shot from Adonis with the big shears he brought to the ring, and locks Adonis in the sleeper for the win in 6:55.  It was decent.  Beefcake cuts Adonis’ hair as Piper roughs up Jimmy Hart.  Piper holds up the mirror so Adonis can see himself.  Adonis punches the mirror and runs after Piper, but fails.  So this is Piper’s first retirement, and Beefcake’s face turn and the beginning the Barber gimmick.  A fan runs in and hugs Piper and shakes his hand before security tackles him and takes him away.  Piper rides off into the sunset.

Gorilla talks to Mary Hart and Bob Uecker.  Howard Finkel randomly introduces Jesse Ventura to the live audience.  Random.  Ventura buddies it up with the Hart Foundation.

Pre-taped interview with Mean Gene interviewing Jimmy Hart for the Hart Foundation and Danny Davis.  Davis was a crooked referee who screwed the Bulldogs and Tito Santana.  He was suspended for “life plus 10 years” as a referee.

WWF Tag Team Champions The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The British Bulldogs & Tito Santana (w/ Matilda).  Before the match, Santana whips the Harts into each other, then Davey Boy press slams Davis out of the ring and onto them.  Tito starts with Bret Hart.  Ventura carries Matilda to the back.  Davey Boy and Neidhart tag in and have a power match.  Mary Hart clarifies that she has no relation to Jimmy Hart.  Tito tags in and works Neidhart’s arm.  Bret chokes Tito behind the referee’s back.  Tito leapfrogs Neidhart and tags in Davey Boy, who backdrops Anvil.  Hart tags in and goes for an elbow that Davey Boy avoids.  Dynamite Kid tags in and whips Bret frontwards into the turnbuckle.  Dynamite stumbles and hits a headbutt.  Neidhart helps Bret get the advantage on Dynamite.  Dynamite goes for the snap suplex, but Neidhart hits him in the back.  Tito goes after Neidhart every time he interferes.  Neidhart comes in and works over Dynamite.  Harts hits a double team backbreaker/elbow drop on Dynamite.  Davids tags in, puts the boots to Dynamite, and tags in Bret.  Major heat for that one.  Harts work over Dynamite.  “We’re going to have to rename Dynamite “Firecracker” if he doesn’t shape up here.” says Mary Hart.  Davis tags in again and gets his licks in, then tags back out.  Harts slingshot Davis into a splash, but Dynamite gets his knees up.  Hot tag to Tito Santana, who runs wild on Davis, decks the Harts, and beats up Davis some more.  Santana goes for the figure-four, but Neidhart decks him to prevent it.  Davey Boy tags in and beats up Davis.  Davey Boy tombstones Davis, years before it meant anything, then hits the stalling suplex, then the running powerslam.  He covers, but Neidhart saves.  Tito gives him the flying jalapeno.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Davis whacks Davey Boy with Jimmy’s megaphone for the pin in 8:52.  This was kind of excellent.

Mean Gene interviews Andre the Giant and Bobby Heenan.

“The Natural” Butch Reed (w/ Slick) vs. Koko B. Ware (w/ Frankie).  Ventura is back on commentary now.  They fuck off for a while, then lock up.  Reed takes the early advantage.  Ware tries a reverse cradle, fails, but dropkicks Reed out of the ring.  Ware tries to get some offense going, but Reed hits him in the back of his head and rattles his brains.  Frankie tries to peck the camera lens.  Gorilla says Frankie realizes Koko is in trouble.  Ware hip tosses Reed and hits some punches and a dropkick.  Ware gets an inside cradle for 2.  Koko hits a cross body, but Reed rolls through and hooks the tights for the pin in 3:39.  Koko nails Reed.  Slick attacks Koko with his cane.  Tito Santana comes out and rips Slick’s $3 suit off.  Koko and Tito hit a double dropkick on Reed.  Meh.

Savage/Steamboat history package.

Randy Savage cuts a promo, then makes his entrance.  Mean Gene interviews Ricky Steamboat.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Randy Savage (c) (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. Ricky Steamboat (w/ George “The Animal” Steele).  They feel each other out a bit.  Savage bails to lead Elizabeth to another corner because Steele was too close to her.  Steamboat with a pair of his gorgeous arm drags and a double hand lifting choke (think a choke bomb without the bomb).  Savage attacks Steamboat’s arm, then slings him off the ropes and covers for 2.  Steamboat works on Savage’s arm.  Savage elbows Steamboat in the face.  Ouch.  Savage throws Steamboat out of the ring.  Savage pulls Steamboat to the apron  by his hair, then hits him in the throat.  See, that’s how this feud started.  Savage put Steamboat out for a while by hitting him in the throat with the ring bell, I think.  Steamboat fights back.  Savage gets tied up in the ropes.  Steamboat beats on him.  Savage escapes.  Steamboat hits a cross body for 2.  Another gorgeous arm drag, and a shoulder block for 2.  Savage knees Steamboat in the back.  Savage throws Steamboat out, but Steamboat skins the cat back in.  Savage clotheslines Steamboat out of the ring.  Steele tries to help him up, then recoils like a scolded child when the referee admonishes him.  Savage hits Steamboat from behind and sends him over the barricade.  Steele picks Steamboat up and puts him back in the ring.  Savage sends Steamboat out again and hits a double axe handle to the floor.  Back inside, Savage hits another double axe handle for 2.  Savage pulls Steamboat’s throat across the top rope for 2.  Atomic drop for 2.  Vertical suplex gets 2.  Steamboat fights back, but Savage hits a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Steamboat backdrops Savage out of the ring.  Ventura calls for a DQ, but the WWF never had that stupid rule.  Steamboat hits a diving karate chop for what looks like a 3 count, but Savage got his foot on the rope.  Steamboat drops him again in the middle of the ring for 2.  Steamboat gets a sunset flip for 2.  Steamboat gets a schoolboy for 2.  Steamboat gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Steamboat gets an inside cradle for 2.  This is getting awesome.  Steamboat catapults Savage into the corner and sunset flips him again for 2.  Steamboat gets a reverse cradle for 2, then Savage reverses it for 2.  Savage sends Steamboat into the referee.  Man, those referees are fragile.  Savage hits the diving elbow drop for a phantom 3 count, but there’s no referee.  Savage takes the ring bell from the timekeeper.  Steele snatches it away from him.  Savage kicks him in the head and goes up top with the bell, but the Steele pushes him off.  Savage picks up Steamboat, but Steamboat gets him with an inside cradle for the pin in about 14:42 (the bell was in the ring, so couldn’t be rung).  One of the most famous matches in WWE history, and while on previous viewings I didn’t think it lived up to the hype, but this time I was really into it and thought it was awesome.

Mean Gene interviews Jake Roberts and Alice Cooper.  They make their entrance, then we get a pre-taped interview with The Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart.

Jake “The Snake” Roberts (w/ Alice Cooper) vs. The Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart).  Roberts jumps Honky before the bell and kicks his ass and rips his jump suit off.  Honky gets the advantage and beats up on Roberts.  Roberts drops him with a short range lariat.  The snow the snake moving around in the bag.  Honky bails for unrelated reasons.  Roberts follows him and gets into into the post, then stumbles into the barricade.  Roberts makes it back to the apron with Cooper’s help, and Honky takes a break from dancing to knock Roberts into the barricade again.  Roberts finally makes it back inside.  Honky slams him and hits a first drop off the second rope.  Honky beats up Roberts.  Honky sets up his finish, but Roberts backdrops him.  Honky punches Roberts in the corner.  Roberts gives him an inverted atomic drop.  Roberts makes his comeback and goes for the DDT, but Hart grabs his leg.  Honky schoolboys Roberts and grabs the ropes for the pin in 7:05.  It was fine.  Roberts swings Honky’s guitar at him.  Honky avoids it.  Roberts smashes the guitar into the post.  Honky runs away.  Jake and Cooper introduce Jimmy Hart to Damien.

Howard Finkel introduces Mean Gene Okerlund, who announces the attendance at 93,173.  The real number is around 78,000, which is plenty impressive, but wrestling promoters are devout liars, especially when it comes to attendance numbers.

The Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, and Slick make their way to the ring.  “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan runs down with his 2×4 to stop Volkoff from singing the Soviet national anthem.

The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Slick) vs. The Killer Bees.  Duggan marches back and forth at ringside.  Volkoff and Sheik Pearl Harbor the Killer Beers to start the match.  There’s a do si do spot, then the Killer Bees get the advantage.  The Bees make quick tags and work over Sheiky.  Volkoff and Sheik work over Brunzell.  Brunzell hits Sheik with a knee and makes the lukewarm tag.  The referee didn’t see it, so it’s a false tag.  Brunzell continues playing face in peril.  Duggan chases Volkoff and Slick around the ring.  Sheik puts Brunzell in the camel clutch.  Hacksaw chases Volkoff into the ring, then whacks Sheik with the 2×4 to cause the DQ in 5:43.  Hacksaw cuts a lame, but patriotic promo, and gets the crowd to chant “USA!”  Whatever.  Replays.  Double whatever.

Mean Gene interviews Andre and Heenan again.

Hogan/Andre video package.  The highlight is Roddy Piper saying “You damn betcha I can!”  I want to start saying that all the time.

Mean Gene interviews Hogan again.  Man, his promos are whack.  Did I just use the word “whack?”  I’ve been watching so much 80s wrestling, my brain is starting to rot.

Howard Finkel introduces Bob Uecker as the guest ring announcer and Mart Hart as the guest timekeeper.

WWF Championship Match: Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Epic staredown.  “The irresistible force meeting the immovable object.” says Monsoon.  They shove each other.  Hogan punches Andre and tries to slam him, but fails, as Andre falls on top for 2.  Andre attacks Hogan’s back.  Andre slams Hogan.  Hogan sells it like he’s having the hell beat out of him.  Andre works over Hogan in the corner.  Hogan sneaks out of the corner and makes his comeback with punches, elbows, and chops.  Hogan ramps Andre’s face into the top turnbuckle.  Hogan charges Andre and eats his boot.  Andre bear hugs Hogan.  Hogan FINALLY escapes and tries to get rolling again.  Andre chops him down.  Andre kicks Hogan out of the ring.  Andre accidentally headbutts the post.  Hogan pulls up a section of the floor mats and goes for a piledriver.  Yeah, that’ll happen.  Andre backdrops him out of it.  Back inside, Hogan finally manages to knock Andre down with a shoulder block.  Hogan slams Andre and hits the leg drop for the pin in 12:09.  Not a good wrestling match,  but it doesn’t matter, because this was all spectacle, and one of the most pivotal moments in WWE history.  Hogan does his posing routine.

Monsoon and Ventura talk for a minute, then we get a slide show set to Aretha Franklin’s opening performance to close the show.

And so ends perhaps the most famous show in WWE history.  It’s fun to watch, and much easier to sit through that some of the other older shows I’ve watched recently.  Savage/Steamboat was, of course, match of the night by a huge margin.

WWF WrestleMania II (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2010 by Chui

This review was originally written on 12/22/09.

On we march, with WrestleMania II!

WWE open, since this is from the Anthology.  WWF: The Recognized Worldwide Leader in Sports.  WrestleMania II: What The World Has Come To.  I should mention now that for some reason, they decided it would be a good idea to have WrestleMania II from 3 locations: Uniondale, New York, Chicago (Rosemont), Illinois, and Los Angeles, California.

First to New York, where Vince McMahon delivers his famous “Welcome to WrestleMania!” line.  Vince introduces his color commentator for the New York portion, Susan St. James.  I see Howard Finkel is the ring announcer for New York.  Ray Charles sings “America the Beautiful.”

Cut to Mean Gene Okerlund in Chicago for a minute.

Back in New York, some old fat guy interviews Roddy Piper (with “Cowboy” Bob Orton), who will be boxing Mr. T tonight.  Piper cuts a typically great promo, with the awesome line “If Mr. T can knock me out in this fight, I would not only quit professional boxing, I would quit professional wrestling, I would quit tiddlywinks, I would quit dating girls!”  He then turns to Orton and says “I’d stick with you, though.”

Don Muraco (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff.  After the opening bell, they play pre-taped audio comments from both wrestlers.  That strikes me as dumb.  They lock up.  Orndorff gets the better of it at first.  Orndorff gets Muraco on the mat and applies an arm lock.  Susan St. James is horrible on commentary.  Muraco tries to arm drag his way out of it, but Orndorff keeps it clamped on.  Muraco finally hits a Samoan drop to escape the punishment of his arm.  They go out of the ring and brawl to a double count-out at 4:33.  Crowd chants “BULLSHIT!”  It started off good, then went downhill.

Mr. T interviews himself.  During this, Finkel finally makes the announcement that the last match was a double count-out.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Randy Savage (c) (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. George “The Animal” Steele.  A pre-taped interview during Savage’s entrance.  This show is so sloppily produced.  Susan likes Steele.  Savage bails as soon as Steele goes after him.  Savage gets back in the ring.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Steele finally gets hold of Savage and bites his leg.  Steele picks up Savage by the neck, chokes him, then drops him.  Steele gets distracted, looking at Elizabeth.  Savage ties him up in the ropes and puts the boots to him.  Savage with a diving crossbody for 2.  Steele throws Savage out of the ring.  Savage crawls under the ring, comes out the other side, and jumps Steele from behind.  Steele bites Savage’s arm.  Steele clubs Savage until Savage gouges his eyes.  Savage slaps Steele with a bouquet of flowers.  Steele bites him again, then hits him with the flowers.  Steele eats the turnbuckle pad.  He feeds some of the stuffing to Savage.  Savage bails.  Who can blame him?  Steele chases him around the ring.  Steele pleads with Elizabeth.  Savage comes off the top with the diving axe handle to the outside.  Back in the ring,  Savage slams Steele and hits the diving elbow, but Steele kicks out at 1.  Steele grabs Savage’s nose, then throws him into the corner.  The ref admonishes Steele.  Savage trips Steele up and gets the Flair pin in the corner at 7:08.  This sucked.  Steele eats another turnbuckle, then chases the referee to the back.

In Chicago, Mean Gene interviews two of the participants in the NFL vs. WWF Battle Royal, Bill Fralic and Big John Studd.  During this, we hear Finkel’s annoucement that Savage was the winner and still the Intercontinental Champion.  Gah.

Vince and Susan talk about snakes.

George Wells vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  They trade punches.  Wells with a backdrop.  Snake sends Wells to the outside and they brawl on the floor.  Back inside, Wells hits a shoulder block.  Wells whips Roberts into the corner, then takes him over with a head scissors.  Wells with a knee lift.  Wells with a powerslam for 2.  Snake gouges the eyes, then begs off and bails.  Wells follows him out and back into the ring.  Roberts gets a cheap shot with the knee lift when Wells is still coming through the ropes, then hits the DDT for the pin at 3:05.  Jake puts the snake on Wells after the match.  The match was fine for what it was.

They show an altercation between Roddy Piper and Mr. T that led to tonight’s match, which I believe took place on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Cut to Los Angeles, where Jesse Ventura interviews the WWF Champion, Hulk Hogan.

Back to Vince and Susan, then to Finkel in the ring to introduce the celebrities for the New York main event.  The guest ring announcer is Joan Rivers.  She introduces the judges: Darryl Dawkins, Cab Calloway, and G. Gordon Liddy.  The special guest timekeeper is Herb.  I don’t know who any of those people are.  The referee is Jack somebody.

Boxing Match: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (w/ “Cowboy” Bob Orton and the old fat guy) vs. Mr. T (w/ Joe Frazier & the Haiti Kid).  They box.  It sucks.  I’m not a boxing fan anyway, and I really hate lame, worked boxing matches in wrestling.  The first round ends.  They go to their corners.  Round 2 starts.  They box some more.  It still sucks.  I do like Piper’s plaid boxing trunks.  Round 2 ends.  Piper cheap shots T again anyway.  Orton throws a bucket of water on T to boot.  Round 3 starts.  Guess what?  They box!  T punches Piper out of the ring.  He barely makes it back in.  They’re both getting tired.  Round 3 ends.  Just end this shit already.  Piper throws his stool at Mr. T.  Round 4 starts.  They punch each other.  Piper knocks T’s mouthpiece out.  T knocks Piper’s mouthpiece out.  Piper socks the ref, then body slams Mr. T to cause the DQ at 1:17 of the 4th round.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Man, this sucked.

Now on to the Chicago portion of the show.  Gorilla Monsoon and Mean Gene hype the battle royal.  Gorilla introduces their color commentator for this portion, Cathy Lee Crosby.  Never heard of her either.  Curse my lack of knowledge of low level celebrities from before I was born.  Chet Coppock is the ring announcer for Chicago.

WWF Women’s Championship Match: The Fabulous Moolah (c) vs. Velvet McIntyre.  Moolah jumps McIntyre immediately and kicks her ass.  McIntyre fires back with dropkicks and an elbow smash.  McIntyre with a body slam, then comes off the top with a big splash, but Moolah moves out of the way, then covers McIntyre for the pin at the 59 second mark.  Well that was utterly pointless.

Gorilla, Gene, and Crosby hype the battle royal again.

Flag Match: Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Freddie Blassie) vs. Corporal Kirchner.  Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem before the match.  The winner gets to wave his flag. Volkoff goes on the offensive early.  Kirchner fights back.  Kirchner knocks down the referee.  While he’s down, Kirchner catches Blassie’s cane and nails Volkoff with it for the pin at 1:35, so he gets to hold up Old Glory.  Match was nothing.

Mean Gene is in the ring to explain the rules for a battle royal.  The timekeeper is the “where’s the beef” lady.  The referees are Dick Butkus and Ed “Too Tall” Jones.

Battle Royal featuring Jimbo Covert, Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, The Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes, The Killer Bees of Brian Blair and Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic, The Hart Foundation of Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart, Russ Francis, Bruno Sammartino, William “The Refrigerator” Perry, and Andre the Giant.  There’s no opening bell, but everyone just starts fighting.  “Big Cat” Ernie Ladd joins Gorilla and Crosby at the announce table for whatever reason.  Ah, I guess because he was both a football player and a wrestler.  Tonga and one of the football players eliminate each other.  Holmes gets eliminated, I think by Bruno, or maybe Studd.  Brunzell gets tossed.  Perry eliminates Atlas.  A bunch of guys try to gang up on Andre.  Morales and Marvin eliminate each other.  Arcidi, Jim, and Spivey try to dump Blair, but he slips back in and helps the other guys dump Arcidi.  Sheik dumps Spivey.  Sheik dumps Jim and Blair.  Sheik and Studd dump Fralic.  Sammartino backdrops Sheik out of the ring.  Sammartino beats up Studd.  Harts beat up Perry.  Andre beats up one of the little guys, I think it’s Russ Frances.  Studd eliminates Bruno.  Perry throws the Harts over the top rope, but they both hit the apron and come back in.  Studd dumps Perry.  Perry shakes Studd’s hand, then, poor sport that he is, pulls Studd out of the ring.  It’s down to Andre, the Harts, and Frances.  Andre gets tied up in the ropes.  The Harts dump Frances, then double team Andre.  Andre big boots Hart, then rams Hart and Neidhart’s heads together.  Big boot to Neidhart sends him out of the ring.  Andre press slams Hart out of the ring and onto Neidhart to win it in about 9 minutes.

Cut to New York, where Vince and Susan talk to Roddy Piper.

Back to Chicago, where Jimbo Covert bitches about getting eliminated from behind.  Gene talks to The Iron Sheik.  “Wrestler is better than football player!”  Replays of the battle royal.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: The Dream Team (c) (w/ Johnny Valiant) vs. The British Bulldogs (w/ Captain Lou Albano & Ozzy Osbourne).  Davey Boy Smith and Greg Valentine start.  Smith shines early.  Valentine hits a hip toss, but Davey Boy avoids an elbow drop.  Tag to Dynamite.  Dynamite kicks Valentine’s ass and snap suplexes him, then tags Davey Boy back in.  Davey Boy hits his stalling suplex for 2.  Valentine bails to take a breather.  Valentine comes back in and hammers Smith, then headbutts him in the groin.  Tag to Beefcake.  Smith with a press slam, then the tag to Dynamite.  Dynamite with an inside cradle for 2.  Tag to Smith, who hits a Fisherman’s suplex for 2.  Tag to Valentine, who comes off the top with a clubbing blow to Smith.  Valentine with a suplex for 2.  Tag to Dynamite.  He and Valentine trade blows.  Bulldogs make quick tags to work over Valentine.  Beefcake comes in to club Dynamite, and is sent out by the ref.  Dynamite with a sunset flip on Valentine for 2.  Dynamite with a backbreaker, but Beefcake pulls him off of the cover.  Dynamite continues to wear down Valentine.  Valentine drops Dynamite with a sick piledriver for 2.  He tries to hold Dynamite’s shoulders down and ends up getting kicked in the balls.  Valentine goes up top and gets thrown across the ring by Dynamite.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Smith tries to press slam Dynamite onto Valentine, but Valentine bails.  Smith tags in and hits the running powerslam on Valentine for a close 2.  Smith with another suplex for 2.  Valentine finally manages to get the advantage on Smith and tags in Beefcake, who puts a beating on Davey Boy.  Tag to Valentine, who comes off the top with another clubbing blow.  Valentine continues working over Davey and drops him with a shoulder breaker, but foolishly picks him up at 2.  Smith throws Valentine into the Bulldog’s corner, where he collides head first with Dynamite.  Smith covers Valentine to get the 3 and capture the tag titles at 12:02.  Finally, a good match!  Ozzy and Captain Lou celebrate while Davey Boy helps up the knocked loopy Dynamite at ringside.  Mean Gene talks to Ozzy and Captain Lou.  He finally manages to talk to Davey Boy.  Replay of the pretty sick finish.

That’s it for Chicago!  Back to Vince and Susan in New York to talk about what’s still to come in the Los Angeles portion of the show.

Jesse Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Elvira will host the LA portion of the show.  Lee Marshall is the ring announcer.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat.  Hercules immediately goes on the attack.  Steamboat fires back with a karate chop and a pair of arm drags.  He attacks Hercules’ arm.  Steamboat leap frogs Herc a bunch and nails him with an elbow.  Steamboat with a suplex, then back to the arm.  Herc blasts Steamboat with a clothesline and hits him with some vicious knees.  Herc hot shots Steamboat into the ropes and beats on him some more.  Steamboat tries to fight back, but almost gets pinned.  Elvira is extremely annoying on commentary.  Herc drops Steamboat with an elbow, then drops a couple more elbows on him.  Cover gets 2.  Steamboat chops Herc.  Herc avoids another chop and drops Steamboat with a discus lariat for 2.  Herc with a press slam.  Herc with another press slam.  Herc comes off the top with a dive, but gets caught by Steamboat’s knees.  Steamboat off the top with a diving crossbody for the pin at 7:33.  It wasn’t bad.

Man, Adrian Adonis sure has changed since we last saw him at The Wrestling Classic.  He was a rough a tough type then… now he’s a cross dresser with bad makeup.

“Adorable” Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Uncle Elmer.  Hart sprays Elmer with perfume, so he chases Hart and Adonis out of the ring, where they hug.  Elmer attacks Adonis we gets back into the ring. No opening bell that I heard. Adonis Flair flips in the corner, then falls out of the ring.  He gets back in and Elmer knocks him out of the ring again.  Elmer rips Adonis’ dress, then knocks him into the ropes where he gets tied up.  When Adonis gets untied, he finally goes on the attack.  He takes off the remains of his dress.  Elmer with the Avalanche in the corner, then he goes for a leg drop, but Adonis avoids it.  Adonis off the top with a headbutt/splash for the pin in about 3 minutes.  This sucked.

Lord Alfred interviews Hogan.

The Funk Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Junkyard Dog & Tito Santana.  Dory has been given the name “Hoss” for whatever reason.  Terry throws chairs in the ring.  The faces throw them out.  Dory and JYD lock up.  JYD slams both of the Funks, then they bail.  Tito and Terry tag in.  Terry throws some vicious sounding chops.  Tito clotheslines him out of the ring.  Dory jumps in and eats a couple of Tito’s dropkicks, then rolls out himself.  Tag to JYD.  He lands some punches on Terry, then rams his head into the turnbuckle repeatedly.  JYD with a headbutt for 2.  JYD throws Terry out of the ring.  I swear, the Funks have spent more time on the outside of the ring than in it during this match.  Tag to Dory.  Tag to Tito.  Tito with a flying jalapeno for 2, as Terry saves.  Dory and Tito run the ropes, but Terry catches Tito with a knee to the back.  Terry tags in and throws Tito to the floor, where Jimmy puts the boots to him.  JYD runs him off.  Funks put the boots to Tito.  JYD runs Hart off again and helps Tito back into the ring.  Terry with a suplex for 2.  He argues with referee Dave Hebner.  Tito counters another suplex attempt with one of his own.  Terry and Tito knock heads.  Tag to Dory.  Dory with the Texas suplex for 2.  Funks continue to work over Tito.  Hot tag to JYD.  JYD cleans house.  Terry chokes JYD with a rope,  JYD backdrops Terry out of the ring.  JYD kicks their asses on the outside.  JYD decks Jimmy Hart.  JYD with an inside cradle on Terry.  Dory saves.  Tito puts Dory in the figure-four.  The referee makes Tito leave the ring.  Jimmy throws Terry the megaphone.  Terry hits JYD in the head with it for the pin at 11:44.  Okay match.

They set up the cage.  It’s a special reinforced cage so King Kong Bundy won’t go through the side, the famous big blue cage.

They show what led up to Hogan/Bundy in a cage, a brutal attack by Bundy and Don Muraco on Saturday Night’s Main Event.  They show Hogan lifting weights with Hillbilly Jim and a doctor, while Gene talks to them about Hogan’s injuries.

Ventura interviews Bundy and Bobby Heenan.

Elvira, who is awful, throws it to New York with Vince and Susan, who is almost as awful.  They talk, then back to LA.

Marshall introduces the guest ring announcer for the main event, Tommy Lasorda.  Lasorda introduces the the guest thimekeeper, Ricky Schroder, and the guest referee, Robert Conrad.  Well, at least I know who Rick Schroder is.

Steel Cage Match for the WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan (c) vs. King Kong Bundy (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Hogan has taped ribs.  They start brawling.  Hogan chokes Bundy with his own singlet.  Elvira says this match resembles a horror movie.  I agree, but probably for different reasons.  Bundy tires of getting beat up by the walrus and attacks Hogan’s ribs.  Bundy tries to escape through the door.  Hogan stops him, so Bundy picks up Hogan and rams his back into the cage.  Bundy takes the bandage off of Hogan’s ribs and chokes him with it.  He ties Hogan to the bottom rope and tries to leave.  Hogan gets free and chokes Bundy with the tag rope.  Hogan rams Bundy head first into the cage.  Hogan beats up Bundy a bit.  Bundy is bleeding.  Hogan tries to slam Bundy, who falls on top of him.  Hogan chokes Bundy with the bandage from earlier.  Bundy fights back.  Avalanche and a big splash by Bundy.  Bundy tries to escape again.  Hogan stops him.  Hogan avoids another avalanche and slams Bundy, then hits the leg drop.  Bundy tries to stop Hogan, but Hogan kicks him off the ropes and to the floor.  Hogan escapes over the top at 10:20.  Bundy goes out through the door a moment later.  Just to show what a role model he is, Hogan throws Heenan into the cage and beats him up after the match, then celebrates.

So that’s WrestleMania II.  Man, it sucked.  The only redeeming thing is the Bulldogs’ title win over the Dream Team.

WWF The Wrestling Classic (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 21, 2010 by Chui

This post was originally written on 12/21/09.

Here we have The Wrestling Classic from November 1985.  It’s a common misconception that it was the WWF’s first PPV, but the inaugural WrestleMania was available on PPV in some markets.  I’ll be watching the WWE 24/7 version.  We get some opening comments from current-day Ricky Steamboat, talking about the show we’re about to view.

Opening video, then Vince McMahon welcomes us LIVE to the Rosemont Horizon in Rosemont, Illinois.  Tonight’s show will be a 16-man tournament.  Vince, Lord Alfred Hayes, and some broad named Susan go over the brackets.  Cut to some of the wrestlers drawing their first round opponents out of a fish bowl with Mean Gene Okerlund earlier today.

Mean Gene interviews WWF President Jack Tunney.

Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are on commentary.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Round 1: Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Corporal Kirchner.  They lock up.  Adonis backs Kirchner into the corner as Hart shouts encouragement through that annoying megaphone.  Kirchner with a couple of sloppy arm drags.  Kirchner grounds Adonis with a side headlock.  Adonis gets up and hits a backdrop suplex, then nails Kirchner with an elbow to the back of the head, a snapmare, then an elbow to the throat.  Adonis with another snapmare into a rear chin lock.  Kirchner fights out and tries a suplex, but Adonis plants him with a DDT for the win at 3:21.  I liked the finish.

Mean Gene interviews the victorious Adonis and Hart.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Round 1: Dynamite Kid vs. Nikolai Volkoff.  As soon as Volkoff finishes singing the Soviet national anthem, Dynamite comes off the top with a dropkick and scores the pin in 8 seconds.

Mean Gene interviews Randy Savage, along with Miss Elizabeth.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Round 1:Ivan Putski vs. Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  Savage stalls.  The bell finally rings and Savage bails.  They finally lock up.  Putski spits in Savage’s face.  Savage bails again.  He tells Elizabeth where to stand, then locks up with Putski again.  Savage tries a shoulder block, but Putski is like a stocky brick wall.  Putski rams Savage’s head into the turnbuckle.  Gorilla points out that there’s no pad, just steel covered with tape.  Putski beats up Savage.  Savage trips him up in the corner and gets the Flair pin at 2:47.

Vince is with Lord Alfred and the broad at the bracket board.  Volkoff intrudes, unhappy about how he got beat.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Round 1: Ricky Steamboat vs. Davey Boy Smith.  They’re both babyfaces, so they shake hands before locking up.  Nice wrestling to start.  Really quick action, too quick to call it all.  Steamboat with a backslide for 2.  Davey Boy with a press slam for 2.  Smith with a front face lock, then press slams him again.  Cover gets 2.  Steamboat counters a suplex attempt and hits a big vertical suplex of his own.  Steamboat with a splash, but Smith gets the knees up.  Smith with a pair of dropkicks.  He charges Steamboat against the ropes, but Steamboat moves.  Smith crotches himself on the ropes, prompting a referee stop at 2:54.  The fuck?  Oh well, this ruled until the silly finish.

Mean Gene interviews Junkyard Dog.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Round 1: The Iron Sheik vs. Junkyard Dog.  Sheik jumps JYD at the start and chokes him with his robe, then puts the boots to him, then chokes him with his turban.  JYD fights back with headbutts.  Sheik bails.  He comes back in and applies a full nelson.  JYD powers out and hammers Sheik with punches.  JYD with a clothesline for 2.  Sheik avoids a falling headbutt and locks in the camel clutch.  Sheik lets him go and hits him with some more shots in the corner as the ref admonishes him.  Sheik throws the referee across the ring.  JYD hits a headbutt for the pin at 3:27.  Not technically great, but fun while it lasted.

Mean Gene interviews Terry Funk, with Jimmy Hart.  Funk spits chewing tobacco on the camera.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Round 1: Moondog Spot vs. Terry Funk (w/ Jimmy Hart).  Funk convinces Spot that they should take a double count-out instead of fighting each other.  As the referee starts the count, Funk double crosses Spot and tries to beat the count into the ring.  They fight, and Funk backdrops Spot into the ring just in time for Spot to win by count-out at the 27 second mark.  Funk jumps Spot after the match.

Mean Gene interviews Don Muraco, with Mr. Fuji.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Round 1: WWF Intercontinental Champion Tito Santana vs. Don Muraco (w/ Mr. Fuji).  They lock up.  Muraco out powers Santana.  Muraco hammers Santana.  Tito ducks a clothesline and hits a crossbody for 2.  Muraco nails him again.  Tito gets a sunset flip for 2.  Tito with a backslide, but Muraco gets out of it.  Muraco begs off before Tito starts to hammer him.  Muraco gets whipped into the corner and does the Flair flip.  Santana puts the boots to him and applies an arm lock.  Muraco picks up Santana and drops him across the top rope, allowing him to get the upperhand again.  Muraco with a knee drop for 2.  Muraco gets the pin with a powerslam at 4:01, but then the referee notices that Tito’s foot was on the rope.  Tito pins Muraco with an inside cradle at 4:16.  Good little match.

Mean Gene interviews Bobby Heenan.  None of his charges are in the tournament, but he’s always scouting for new talent.  Oh, and apparently he’s put a $50,000 bounty on Paul Orndorff.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Round 1: “Cowboy” Bob Orton Jr. vs. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff.  Orndorff attacks the casted arm of Orton.  They do some quick wrestling on the match, and it’s good.  Orndorff continues to work the arm.  Orton retaliates by dropping Orndorff across the top rope, then putting the boots to him.  Orndorff gets a sunset flip for 2.  Orton clamps a rear chin lock on Orndorff.  Orndorff gets out and they do the bridge spot into a backslide from Orton for 2.  Orton charges and ends up crotching himself on the ropes, leading to Orndorff’s comeback.  Orndorff decks Orton, who flips out of the ring.  Orndorff follows him out and punches him back in.  Orton decks Orndorff with the cast to get DQ’d at 6:30.  Good match.  They brawl afterward until Orton bails.

Back to Vince, Lord Alfred, and Susan with the bracket to recap the first round and hype the second round.  Terry Funk intrudes and rants crazily about being screwed.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Round 2: Dynamite Kid vs. Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart).  Dyamite with some quick arm drags that prompt Adonis to take a breather.  Adonis gets some momentum going as Ventura leaves to go talk to Savage before his second round match with Steamboat.  Adonis with a suplex for 2, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Dynamite gets to his feet and hits a backdrop suplex to get out of it.  Adonis avoids a big diving headbutt and attacks Dynamite’s leg.  Jimmy Hart and that damned megaphone are really annoying.  Adonis applies a Scorpion Death Lock, but Dynamite gets a rope break.  Dynamite with a sunset flip out of the corner for 2.  Adonis attacks the leg again.  Dynamite sends Adonis into the post and hits a knee drop to the face.  Dynamite with a clothesline and a diving knee drop for 2.  Dynamite hits the snap suplex and a falling headbutt.  Hart gets on the apron.  Dynamite grabs him.  Adonis with a reverse cradle.  Dynamite powers out and sends Adonis into Hart on the apron.  Dynamite gets the pin on Adonis at 5:28.  This was good.  Adonis throws a tantrum after the match.

Mean Gene interviews Ventura, who’s been tutoring Randy Savage.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Round 2: Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  Savage hides behind Elizabeth, then jumps Steamboat before the bell.  They brawl outside for a moment, then go at it in the ring.  Steamboat sends Savage out of the ring with a head scissors.  Sweet.  Steamboat follows him out and hits an atomic drop on the floor.  Back inside, Steamboat with the karate chop.  Savage with a backdrop suplex.  This match is quick.  Jesse comes back to the commentary table.  Savage goes up top and tries to double axe handle, but Steamboat catches him with a shot to the gut.  Steamboat with a suplex, then up top  for a diving crossbody for 2.  Steamboat with more chops.  Savage pulls a pair of knucks out of his trunks.  Steamboat dodges the blow and goes for a backdrop suplex, but Savage nails him with the knucks and gets the pin at 3:18.  That was awesome for a few minutes.

Mean Gene interviews Moondog Spot, who just mumbles and gnaws on his bone.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Round 2: Moondog Spot vs. Junkyard Dog.  They fight, but there’s no referee.  JYD with a headbutt, then makes the 3 count himself, which is somehow legit.  No time, because there was no opening bell.  At least it was quick and painless.

Mean Gene interviews Heenan again.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Round 2: “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff vs. WWF Intercontinental Champion Tito Santana.  They shake hands and lock up.  Santana grabs a headlock and they work it a bit.  I have to mention that I love the “roll the guy that has you in a headlock into a pinning predicament” bit.  Orndorff powers out with his arm strength, but Tito gets him back on the mat with a head scissors.  Orndorff escapes and grabs a headlock, but Tito clamps the head scissors back on.  Orndorff head stands out of it into a jackknife hold for 2.  Orndorff with a hammerlock.  Tito eventually manages to reverse it.  Orndorff gets a rope break.  They lock up again.  Tito backs Orndorff into the ropes and gives a clean break.  Lock up again, and Tito grabs a side headlock.  Orndorff hits an atomic drop, which hurts the leg Tito has bandaged from the Muraco match.  Orndorff goes after the leg.  Tito kicks away a spinning toe hold attempt and hobbles to his feet.  Orndorff puts Tito against the ropes and decks him instead of giving a clean break.  They fight on the floor, leading to a double count-out at 8:06.  Good match.

Back to Vince, Lord Alfred, and Susan at the bracket board.  Lord Alfred seems smitten with Susan.  They go over the next round, where Savage takes on Dynamite while JYD gets a BYE.

Roddy Piper makes his entrance for the WWF Championship Match.  Cut to Mean Gene interviewing the champion, Hulk Hogan.

WWF Championship Match: Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Roddy Piper.  Piper jumps Hogan to start and throws him out of the ring.  They brawl outside, then brawl in the ring.  Piper pokes Hogan in the eyes.  Hogan rams Piper into the corner.  Piper flops onto his face.  Hogan with a backdrop suplex.  Hogan with a slam and a pair of elbow drops.  Hogan hammers Piper with punches.  The referee gets in the way, allowing Piper to land a cheap shot and get the advantage.  Piper dives off the middle rope and gets caught in a bear hug.  Piper pokes him in the eyes again.  Piper hammers Hogan and covers for a 2 count.  Piper clamps on the sleeper hold.  Hogan’s arm drops twice, but he wakes up on the third, stands up, and falls through the ropes with Piper on his back.  Piper tries to post Hogan, but gets posted himself.  Piper lands some punches, but Hogan Hulks up.  Back into the ring, Hogan with the big boot and an atomic drop.  Piper sends Hogan into the referee, then goes outside to grab a chair.  Piper hits Hogan with the chair.  He tries again, but Hogan catches the chair and snatches it away.  Hogan hits Piper with the chair and clamps on a sleeper.  The referee wakes up to see Orton run in and hit Hogan with the cast to cause the DQ at 7:14.  The heels put the boots to Hogan until Orndorff makes the save.

Mean Gene interviews Junkyard Dog.  Jimmy Hart interrupts and yells at JYD.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Semifinal: Dynamite Kid vs. Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  They lock up and Dynamite pushes Savage away.  Repeat.  They get on the ground and Dynamite is too quick for Savage, so Savage bails for a moment to collect himself.  They lock up again and roll around against the ropes.  The referee gets in between them to break it up and Savage lands a punch to the head of Dynamite, allowing him to get the advantage for a moment, but Dynamite retaliates.  Dynamite with a big backdrop and a crossbody, but they’re too close to the ropes.  Dynamite tries a sunset flip, but Savage sits on him.  Savage ducks a blow from Dynamite.  Double clothesline spot.  Savage goes up top, but Dynamite dropkicks him, then hits a superplex.  Savage manages to roll back and hook Dynamite’s legs with his own for the pin at 4:52.  Good match and a nifty finish.

Vince and Susan talk the Rolls Royce they’re giving away.

Finkel is in the ring with Tunney, Lord Alfred, and a couple of other suits.  Tunney and the suits talk, then Lord Alfred announces the winner, Michael something from somewhere, Illinois.  The crowd boos through all of this.

Mean Gene is in the locker room to interview Hogan and Orndorff.  He reminds the camerman to keep it above the waist, as guys could be getting out of the shower.

Wrestling Classic Tournament – Final: Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. Junkyard Dog.  One again, Macho hides behind Elizabeth.  Macho bails and grabs a chair.  The throws it at JYD, who hits himself in the head with it and doesn’t sell it, to intimidate Savage.  Savage stalls for a while.  They finally lock up and go at it.  JYD gets the better of it early and hits an atomic drop.  Man, people loved that move in the 80’s.  JYD with a bear hug.  Savage is showing damage from the Dynamite match.  He takes a beating here.  Okerlund joins Gorilla and Jesse for commentary.  Savage’s selling is over the top and awesome.  Savage finally manages to drop JYD with a clothesline for 2.  JYD kicks out with authority.  JYD is sent outside.  Savage goes to the top and hits an diving axe handle.  Savage rolls in the ring, sneaks out, and attacks JYD from behind on the outside, sending him into the post.  Savage hits another diving axe handle to the outside.  Savage hits JYD with a chair.  And that’s not a DQ why?  Savage continues to beat JYD on the outside.  Savage finally rolls JYD back into the ring and goes for a double axe handle, but JYD catches him in the gut.  JYD with headbutts.  Savage gets tied up in the ropes.  When he gets untied, he gouges JYD’s eyes, then gets backdropped out of the ring.  Savage gets counted out, giving JYD the match and the tournament at 9:44.

Okerlund interviews a victorious JYD in the ring.  Ventura gets in the ring to bitch about JYD getting a BYE in the semifinals.  Jesse’s claim that Savage should be declared the winner on the basis of having wrestled more times is ludicrous, but the babyface winning after having a much easier tournament than the heel is kind of strange.

Jesse bitches to Gorilla.

Cut to Vince, Lord Alfred, and Susan one more time, then the closing credits.

Fun show.  Too bad the “First Annual Wrestling Classic Tournament” never made it to year two.

WWF WrestleMania (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 21, 2010 by Chui

This review was originally written on 12/20/09.

That’s right, the first WrestleMania.  This is the beginning of my endeavor to watch every WWF and WCW PPV ever, possibly with ECW and TNA thrown in.  Oh, and I should mention that most of the WrestleManias I’ll be watching are from the WrestleMania anthology that WWE put out a few years ago.

Which of course means we get the WWE open.  Plain Jane opening video showing the matches on the card tonight, since this is 1985, a year and a half before yours truly was born.

Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are on commentary.  We are LIVE from Madison Square Garden!  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.  Mean Gene Okerlund sings the national anthem.

Lord Alfred Hayes talks about the first match.  Cut to Mean Gene’s pre-taped interviews with Tito Santana and The Executioner.

The Executioner vs. Tito Santana.  Lock up, run the ropes, then Tito hits a backdrop and a dropkick that sends The Executioner out of the ring.  They lock up again and Tito grabs a headlock.  He walks up the ropes and uses the leverage to take Executioner down.  Neat.  Executioner attacks Tito’s injured leg, as he promised he would earlier.  Tito turns an attempted leg hold into a nifty cradle for 2.  Executioner looks completely out classed.  He finally manages to backdrop Tito, then hits a bodyslam, then goes up to.  Tito recovers and throws him off, then goes for a big splash, but Executioner gets his knees up.  Executioner goes for the leg again, but Tito sends him out of the ring, then suplex/slams him back in.  Tito hits a flying forearm, then applies the figure-four leglock for the win at 4:49.  See, Tito is chasing Greg Valentine’s Intercontinental Title, so he’s putting the champ on notice by using his own hold.

Lord Alfred throws it to pre-taped interviews for the next match, with S.D. Jones and King Kong Bundy, with Jimmy Hart.

King Kong Bundy (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. S.D. Jones.  Bundy with a bear hug, then rams Jones into the corner.  Avalanche in the corner followed by a big splash for the pin in 24 seconds.  The time is announced as 9 seconds.  Their stop watch is defective.

Mean Gene is back with pre-taped interviews with Matt Borne and Ricky Steamboat.

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat.  Lock up.  Steamboat leap frogs Borne, then hits some of his karate chops.  Steamboat grabs a headlock.  Borne gets out of it.  Steamboat grabs it again.  Borne fights out and Steamboat gives him an atomic drop.  Borne hits an inverted atomic drop and gets the advantage briefly.  Steamboat hits him with more karate chops.  Steamboat with the headlock again.  Borne backs him into the corner and lands some knees to the gut, then a belly to belly suplex.  Borne lands a vertical suplex for 2.  They trade blows.  Steamboat gets the better of it and drops Borne.  Steamboat hits a backdrop suplex and a swinging neckbreaker, then a pair of knee drops for 2.  Borne comes back and gets dropped with a shoulder block.  Steamboat comes off the top with a diving crossbody for the pin at 4:38.  Good basic wrestling match.

Lord Alfred throws it to Mean Gene again, for interviews with David Sammartino (with his dad) and Brutus Beefcake (with Johnny Valiant).

Brutus Beefcake (w/ Johnny Valiant) vs. David Sammartino (w/ Bruno Sammartino).  Beefcake stalls forever.  They finally lock up.  Beefcake overpowers David, who is extremely short and stocky.  David shoves Brutus on the next lock up, then hits a drop toe hold.  Brutus with an amateur takedown.  They roll around, then Brutus bails for a moment.  More basic stuff back inside.  Brutus claws the eyes and hits a slam, but David turns it into an arm hold.  Nice.  Brutus takes David over with a side headlock.  The match quickens a bit.  Sammartino works Beefcake’s leg.  Sammartino with a spinning toe hold.  Beefcake kicks him away, but Sammartino grabs another leg hold.  Brutus takes over and gets some heat on Sammartino.  David hits a back body drop.  They trade punches.  Sammartino with a suplex for 2.  Valiant attacks David on the outside.  Bruno gets involved.  Clusterfuck ensues.  It’s a double DQ at 11:44.  The Sammartinos get rid of the heels.  Why the fuck does David Sammartino warrant more time than Tito Santana and Ricky Steamboat COMBINED?

Once again, Lord Alfred —> Mean Gene.  Gene interviews the Intercontinental Champion, Greg Valentine, and his challenger, Junkyard Dog.

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (c) (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Junkyard Dog.  Lots of stalling early on.  Valentine drops JYD with an elbow, then misses a knee drop.  JYD headbutts him out of the ring.  The Hammer hammers JYD and attacks his leg, softening him up for the figure-four.  When he goes for it, JYD kicks him away.  JYD with some headbutts that knock the champ loopy and causes him to take Flair face flop.  Jimmy Hart distracts the referee.  JYD grabs him.  Hammer tries to nail JYD, but clocks Hart instead.  JYD beats up Valentine, but Valentine trips him up and gets the Flair pin at 6:00.  Tito Santana comes out to tell the referee that Valentine’s feet were on the ropes.  The referee continues the match.  Valentine refuses to come back in the ring, so JYD wins by count-out at 6:55, but Valentine keeps the title.

Lord Alfred, then Mean Gene for the Tag title match, as the U.S. Express of Barry Windham & Mike Rotunda defend against The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff.

Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem before the match.  Sheik chimes in with “Russia numbah one, Iran numbah one, USA hack puh!”

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: The U.S. Express (c) (w/ Captain Lou Albano) vs. The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (w/ “Classy” Freddie Blassie).  Rotunda starts with Sheik.  Sheik gets the better of it at first, until Rotunda hits a hip toss and a dropkick, then a slam, then Windham decks him, then Rotunda takes him over with a side headlock.  Tag to Windham, who comes off the top with an elbow to Sheik’s back.  Sheik accidentally dropkicks Volkoff on the apron.  He apologizes, and tags out.  Rotunda back in.  He takes down Volkoff with a forearm for 2.  The champs make quick tags and work Volkoff’s arm.  Volkoff rams Rotunda into Sheik’s boot, then tags Sheik back in.  Sheik with a back body drop, then an elbow for 2.  Sheik with a side suplex for 2.  Rotunda hits a suplex on Sheik.  Sheik tags out to Volkoff, who prevents Rotunda from tagging out.  Rotunda with a sunset flip for 2.  Volkoff knees Rotunda in the gut, then rams him into Sheik’s boot again.  Sheik tags in and applies an abdominal stretch as Albano and Blassie argue outside.  Rotunda hip tosses his way out of it.  Tag to Volkoff.  Rotunda makes the hot tag to Windham.  Windham hits a bulldog on Volkoff and covers, but Sheik saves.  Rotunda comes in and sends Sheik out of the ring.  Sheik whacks Windham with Blassie’s cane, allowing Volkoff to get the pin at 6:55.  There you have it, the first title change in WrestleMania history.

Mean Gene interviews the new champions.

Lord Alfred, then Mean Gene to interview Big John Studd and Bobby Heenan.  Studd puts up $15,000 against Andre the Giant’s career in a slam match.

$15,000 Slam Match: Big John Studd (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan) vs. Andre the Giant.  Studd jumps Andre to start the match.  Andre responds by chopping him with his massive hands.  Studd bails.  When he comes back in, Andre chokes him, then punches him in the gut and knees him in the face.  Andre continues to hammer Studd.  Studd hits a knee and tries to slam him.  Nope.  Andre with a bear hug.  Studd gets out of it.  Andre with a headlock, then a punch to the face.  Andre continues to beat up Studd.  Studd tries a kick, but Andre catches his leg and punches him in the face again.  Andre throws some kicks at Studd, then slams him for the win at 5:54.  Andre starts throwing the money to the crowd.  Heenan sneaks in, steals the bag of money, and runs away.

Mean Gene interviews a victorious Andre.

Lord Alfred, then Mean Gene for the Women’s Title match.

WWF Women’s Championship Match: Leilani Kai (c) (w/ The Fabulous Moolah) vs. Wendi Richter (w/ Cyndi Lauper).  Lock up, cat fight, ridiculous bump by Kai off of a half assed chop from Richter.  Nice bit of chain wrestling as Richter works Kai’s arm.  Kai snapmares out of it and covers for a quick 2.  Kai works Richter’s arm a bit.  Kai chokes Richter.  Richter uses her legs to squeeze Kai’s middle.  Kai picks her up by the hair.  They trade blows.  Richter half asses an inside cradle for 2.  Richter starts making a comeback until Moolah grabs her and pulls her hair.  Lauper stops her.  Kai with a kick to the sternum.  Richter fights back and hits a reverse F-U type move for 2.  Kai with a backbreaker for 2.  Kai slams Richter and comes off the top with a crossbody.  Richter rolls through and gets the pin to regain the title at 6:13.  Moolah face plants trying to get into the ring.  Heh.  Richter and Lauper celebrate.

Mean Gene interviews the new champion.  Richter can’t talk for shit and Lauper’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard.

Finkel introduces the guest ring announcer for the main event, Billy Martin.  Martin introduces the other celebrities involved with the main event.  Liberace, the guest timekeeper, dances with four of the Rockettes.  Muhammed Ali is the special outside referee, while Pat Patterson will be the referee in the ring.

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper & “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff (w/ “Cowboy” Bob Orton) vs. WWF Champion Hulk Hogan & Mr. T (w/ Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka).  Hogan and Orndorff start, but Piper requests the tag before any contact is made.  Mr. T wants Piper, so Hogan makes the tag.  They slap each other, then Piper wrestles him to the ground.  Mr. T escapes.  T picks up Piper into a Fireman’s carry, then drops him.  The heels beat up T.  Match turns into a clusterfuck for a minute until Muhammed Ali restores order.  The heels start to leave.  Hogan won’t let Patterson count them out.  They come back in and get their knoggins knocked by Hogan and Mr. T.  Hogan does a number on them and hits an atomic drop on Piper, then beats his head against the mat.  Tag to T and a double clothesline to Piper.  T slams Piper, then hip tosses Orndorff.  Another slam to Piper, headbutt to Orndorff, and a tag to Hogan.  Hogan big boots Piper ourt of the ring.  Orndorff clotheslines Hogan out of the ring.  Piper hits Hogan with a chair.  The heels work over Hogan.  Mr. T tries to save, but is restrained by Patterson.  Piper and Orndorff with a double atomic drop to Hogan.  Ali to restores order again.  Hogan, oddly, plays face in peril.  Hogan blocks a diving knee drop from Orndorff and makes the hot tag to Mr. T.  The bad guys beat up Mr. T.  Orndorff and T wrestle sloppily to the ground.  Tag to Piper, who locks Mr. T in a front facelock.  T powers out and tags Hogan, who cleans house.  Orndorff hits a backdrop suplex on Hogan.  Orton tries to run in and gets headbutted by Snuka.  Orton comes off the top rope and accidentally nails Orndorff with the cast.  Hogan gets the pin on Orndorff  to win it in 13:33.  Orndorff wakes up to find himself alone with the faces.  T tries to offer him a handshake, but Hogan is like “No.”  The babyfaces celebrate their win.

Mean Gene interviews the victors.

Gorilla and Jesse have some final comments, then the closing credits.

So that was the inaugural WrestleMania.  The WWF was certainly a very different place in 1985.  This show as the biggest thing to ever happen in wrestling at the time, but looking at it through 2009 eyes, it’s hard to see why.  A few of the matches were decent, with Steamboat/Borne being match of the night.