Archive for Alicia Fox

WWE SummerSlam 2012

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2012 by Chui

New WWE open, which debuted on the 1,000th Raw.  Intro video for the 25th SummerSlam, which isn’t the 25th anniversary, but is billed as such because WWE doesn’t know how anniversaries work.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Los Angeles!  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to scream at us.  I guess that means Ziggler vs. Jericho is up first.  They show clips of Ziggler winning the Money In The Bank Ladder Match last month.  Jericho comes out and they show a clip of Ziggler injuring Jericho’s ribs this past Smackdown.  Justin Roberts is a ring announcer.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Chris Jericho.  Jericho is sporting taped ribs from the aforementioned attack.  Ziggler runs around the ring and Jericho gives chase.  Back inside, Jericho catches him with an elbow smash and beats him up a bit.  Ziggler does a drop down and a leap frog, but Jericho catches him with a chop.  Ziggler avoids a suplex and attacks the injured ribs.  Jericho gets a reprieve by back body dropping Ziggler to the floor.  He goes for his rebound dropkick to the apron, but fails and eats the floor as Ziggler makes it back into the ring.  Ziggler continues to punish the ribs.  Vickie is obnoxious at ringside.  Ziggler hits a Rude Awakening, complete with gyrating hips, then pulls a Jericho classic on foot cover for 2.  Jericho gets whipped into the ropes, but catches Ziggler with a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler charges Jericho in the corner, eats it, and Jericho gets a brief flurry.  Ziggler charges the corner again and eats Jericho’s boot.  Jericho follows with a diving elbow smash.  Ziggler sends Jericho into the post, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, fails, but lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Ziggler avoids Jericho in the corner, jumps on his back, and clamps on the sleeper hold.  Jericho backs Ziggler into the corner to escape.  Ziggler kicks him in the ribs and goes up top.  Jericho cuts him off, pounds on him, and hits a top rope Frankensteiner~!  Delayed cover gets 2.  Ziggler catches Jericho out of nowhere with a swank DDT for 2.  They trade shots.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault.  Ziggler catches him in the injured ribs with raised knees, then hits the Zig Zag, but Jericho kicks out!  Jericho catches Ziggler with the Codebreaker.  Ziggler rolls to the floor.  Jericho throws Ziggler back into the ring.  Vickie grabs Jericho’s leg, allowing Ziggler to get an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho sends Ziggler into the post and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Ziggler taps in 13:06.  Yes, Jericho won, but is this really “the big one?”  It made sense when Jericho did this angle with The Rock in 2001 and won the World title, but is the opening match of SummerSlam the same thing?  Good match, though.

Slim Jim commercial.

Los Angeles!

They show Brock Lesnar destroying Shawn Michaels on Raw last week.

Matt Striker interviews Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman.  Well, Paul does all of the talking.

Lillian Garcia is also a ring announcer.  The Spanish announcers, Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez, are present as well.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane.  Kane has his dukes up, which amuses me.  Bryan kicks at the larger man’s legs.  Kane catches a kick and throws him down.  Bryan avoids an elbow and kicks him some more.  Kane punches him a bit.  Bryan backflips off the top rope, then gets slammed for 2.  Kane stomps Bryan in the corner.  Fans are chanting for Bryan.  Bryan fails at a reverse cradle and eats a big boot.  Cover gets 2 for Kane.  Bryan kicks at Kane’s knee some more.  Kane nonchalantly choke throws Bryan out of the ring.  Bryan gets back in as Kane comes out and takes him out with a tope suicide.  Back inside, Bryan hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Bryan lands more kicks as the crowd chants “YES!”  Kane ducks a critical blow and lands a clothesline.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane hits the diving lariat and goes for the chokeslam.  Bryan counters out and rolls to the apron, pulls Kane’s head over the top rope, then comes back in to eat a punch.  Bryan slaps Kane defiantly.  Kane beats the crap out of him in the corner until the referee forces a break.  Bryan takes the opportunity and goes on the offensive.  He goes for the LeBell/Yes/No Lock, fails, and settles for kicking Kane in the chest.  He gets annoyed at the “YES!” chants and goes for the diving headbutt.  Kane catches him by the throat and hits the chokeslam.  Instead of covering, he signals for the Tombstone.  Bryan counters it into an inside cradle for the pin in 8:03!  Bryan wins!  YES!  YES!  YES!  Fun little match.

Kane, pissed that lost, rampages around backstage.  Josh Matthews tries to interview him, but Kane grabs him by the throat, yells “WHERE?!  IS?!  HE?!” and throws him away, then continues his rampage.

Don’t drink and drive.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  I think Mysterio’s costume is supposed to be Batman.  They lock up.  Miz lands a shoulder block.  Mysterio sits up and kind of stares at him.  They do a bit of wrestling that ends in Rey getting a near fall and Miz taking a quick powder.  Miz comes back in and gets to stompin’.  Rey hits a flying headscissors.  Miz throws Rey out of the ring.  Rey slides back in as Miz slides out, then dropkicks Miz through the ropes.  Miz sends Rey torso-first into the barricade.  Back inside, Miz goes to work.  Rey counters a backdrop and gets a 2 count.  Miz catches Rey with that lucha-style backbreaker that Jericho does on Rey for 2.  Miz beats on Rey some more.  Rey tries to make a comeback, but eats a clothesline, which gets a 2 count for Miz.  Miz hits his corner clothesline and goes up top, but Rey dropkicks Miz, crotching h im on the top turbuckle.  Rey hits the diving seated senton and goes for a rana, but Miz catches him with a powerbomb for 2.  Rey ducks a kick and gets a cradle for 2, then kicks Miz in the head for another 2.  Combine the two, and he got a 4 count, so he almost won under Canadian rules.  Rey hits a whirly DDT for 2.  Rey goes up top again, but gets caught.  Rey fights Miz off and hits a diving headscissors, which puts Miz into 619 position.  Rey hits the 619 and goes for the diving splash, but Miz avoids it.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Rey turns it into a cradle for 2.  Miz launches Rey into the turnbuckles, then hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 9:10.  It was okay, but I never really got into it.

Plug for the WWE iPhone/Android app.  I downloaded it.  It’s not that interesting.

Teddy Long and Eve Torres walk out of the GM’s office and talk about how quirky AJ Lee is.  They walk away and WWE Champion CM Punk walks into the office.  He complains to AJ about being in a Triple Threat Match tonight.  She just cocks her head and stares off into space, ignoring him.

Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio hype video.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio for the World Championship match.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio.  They lock up.  Del Rio backs Sheamus into the corner.  Repeat.  They tumble out of the ring together and brawl on the floor.  Back inside, Sheamus hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Sheamus hits the Finlay Roll for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but fails.  He ends up getting Del Rio up on his shoulders as Del Rio exposes the turnbuckle.  Sheamus counters the Minoru Special and misses the Brogue Kick.  Del Rio kicks Sheamus off the apron, then sends him knee first into the steps.  Back inside, Del Rio clamps on a rear chin lock.  Sheamus escapes and goes for another neckbreaker, but Del Rio kicks him in the knee, then in the head for 2.  They fight some more.  Del Rio is wearing black gear that looks reall weird on him for some reason.  He taunts Sheamus by doing the “Brogue!” taunt.  He teases a Brogue Kick, but Sheamus cuts him off.  Del Rio sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post.  Sheamus tries to go up top, but gets cut off.  Del Rio hits an arm breaker (pulling the knees into the arm) off the top for 2.  There has to be a better name for that move.  Del Rio goes for his move, but Sheamus counters.  Del Rio counters the counter and hits the Minoru Special.  Sheamus powers up and slams Del Rio down.  Sheamus hits the White Noise (Schwein) for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Del Rio avoids him.  Sheamus clubbers Del Rio in the chest.  Why hasn’t the referee fixed that exposed turnbuckle?  Oh, I see.  Del Rio drops Sheamus into the exposed buckle, then hits an enzuigiri, but Sheamus kicks out!  Del Rio roughs up Ricardo just because he’s a dick.  Sheamus hits Del Rio with Ricardo’s shoe, then hits the White Noise for the pin in 11:24, even though Del Rio’s foot was on the bottom rope.  That’s actually the finish?  Okay then.  Del Rio and Ricardo bitch at the referee, and rightfully so.  This match did not click with me at all.

Plug for the National Guard, or rather, how great WWE is for supporting the National Guard.

Cole and Lawler plug Night of Champions.

On the pre-show, Triple H told referee Scott Armstrong to not DQ or count anyone out tonight in his match with Brock Lesnar.

Last week on Raw, the Prime Time Players beat up R-Truth while Kofi Kingston was in China, then Touted about it.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (c) vs. The Prime Time Players.  Truth beats up Young to start.  O’Neil tags in and drops Truth with a boot, barks, and covers for 2.  Kofi tags in and keeps O’Neil off balance with his speed.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Young distracts him.  Heel chicanery on the outside leads to the Players getting the advantage.  Kofi plays face in peril.  Young looks like he’s trying to get Kofi in some retarded triangle choke.  It fails completely, but he continues to put a beating on Kofi.  O’Neil tags in and applies an abdominal stretch.  Kofi turns a spinning slam into a spike DDT.  Truth gets the hot tag and runs wild on Darren Young.  Truth hits a front suplex.  Cover, but O’Neil saves.  O’Neil throws Kofi out of the ring, but Kofi skins the cat, low bridges him out, and takes him out with a dive.  Truth thinks about a dive, but Young schoolboys him for 2.  Young goes for something and fails, and Truth hits the Paydirt, whatever he’s calling it this week, for the pin in 7:07.  Players are nothing without AW.  This match was pretty close to nothing, too.

Axxess clips.

Punk/Cena/Show hype video.

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. John Cena vs. The Big Show.  Big Show beats up everyone to start.  Punk seems to be channeling Bret Hart with his pink gear.  Cena and Punk unite to try to suplex Show, but Show suplexes both of them at the same time.  Show wins on them some more.  Cena gets tossed out of the ring by Show and Punk makes a comeback until he stupidly goes for the Go 2 Sleep and fails.  Cena tries to give Show the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk pushes them over.  Punk covers Cena, but Show saves.  Show beats up Punk some more and throws Cena out of the ring again.  Punk avoids Show in the corner and goes for a springboard cross body, but Show catches him and hits the Final Cut.  Show signals for the KO punch, but Cena reappears and cuts him off.  Show spears Cena for 2.  Show goes for a Vader Bomb onto both opponents, but Punk avoids it and Cena takes the full brunt.  Punk breaks Show’s cover.  Show throws Punk out of the ring, then goes after Cena on the other side.  Punk tries a dive, but Show catches him and launches him into the ropes from the outside.  Awesome.  Show and Cena go at it in the ring.  Punk pulls Show’s head over the top rope, allowing Cena to hit a backdrop suplex.  LA crowd doesn’t like Cena.  Cena signals for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Punk cuts him off.  Punk hits the diving elbow drop on Show.  Cover, but Show throws him across the ring at 2.  Punk kicks Show in the head and locks in the Koji Clutch, of all things.  Show breaks out.  Punk takes a powder.  Cena hits Show with a shoulder block and locks in the STF.  Show stands and backs Cena into the corner.  Cena goes for a dive, but Show catches and slams him.  Punk drops Show with a diving lariat and hits him with 3 running knees to the corner, but Show counters the bulldog.  Cena hits Show with the diving Fameasser, but ends up on the apron.  Punk locks Show in the Koji Clutch.  Cena also applies the STF.  Show taps.  The referee calls for the bell, but there are 2 winners.  Cena and Punk argue with the referee.  Raw GM AJ Lee skips out and rules that the match must continue.  Show immediately chokeslams both me.  Cover on Cena gets 2.  Cover on Punk gets 2.  Cena ducks the KO punch and hits Show with the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk throws Cena out of the ring and pins Show in 14:28.  Very enjoyable match.  Punk celebrates.

Los Angeles!

Celebrities are here!  Including former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette and WrestleMania participant Maria Menounos (sporting a Bob Backlund shirt).

Trailer for WWE Films’ latest, The Day.

On the preshow, Antonio Cesaro beat Santino Marella for the WWE United States Championship, with help from Aksana.

Kevin Ruldolf (who?) performs the SummerSlam theme song.  People Dance like idiots.  The divas come out to dance: Tamina, Kaitlyn, Natalya, Aksana, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Cameron, Naomi, Layla, Rosa Mendez, and Alicia Fox.

Los Angeles.

Triple H/Lesnar hype video.

Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Triple H.  Brock immediately powers Triple H into the corner.  Hunter comes back with punches.  Brock repeats and goes for the Kimura.  Triple H counters.  Brock beats him in the corner some more and goes for it again.  He gets a standing version, but Hunter is in the ropes.  Triple H fights back and clotheslines Brock out of the ring.  Brock comes back in and beats up Triple H in the corner some more.  Hunter lands a knee lift and clotheslines Brock out of the ring again.  Lesnar looks irked.  Brock comes back in and takes off his gloves.  It’s a bare knuckle fight now!  Brock gets a double leg takedown and pummels Triple H with a few punches.  Hunter bails, selling a punch to the back of the head.  They brawl outside.  Brock gives Hunter a hammerlock slam onto the announce table.  The brawl some more back inside.  Brock delivers another hammerlock slam.  Brock continues working the arm.  Triple H counters an F-5 attempt, but Brock hits him with a BIG German suplex.  Brock stomps Triple H’s arm again.  Triple H tries to bail, gets caught, and pulls Brock against the top rope.  Hunter manages to score with a DDT.  Brock immediately goes after the arm again.  I always enjoy a hammerlock slam, and Brock is dishing them out liberally tonight.  They go outside and Lesnar sends Triple H into the post.  They wreck the Spanish announce table.  Brock actually jumps off of it and hits Triple H with a big chop.  Back in the ring, Triple H tries to fight back.  Lesnar gets an inside cradle of all things for 2.  Lesnar hits a clothesline and goes for a suplex, but Hunter counters and suplexes him.  Lesnar clotheslines the turnbuckle.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but fails, gets whipped into the corner, and does the Michaels flip out of the ring.  Brock takes a shot into the announce table on his stomach and starts dry heaving.  The announcers talk about his issues with diverticulitis.  Hunter goes after the midsection.  He hits some knee lifts to the stomach.  Triple H hits the spinebuster and goes for the Pedigree.  Lesnar counters and goes for the F-5.  Triple H counters and hits the Pedigree, but Lesnar kicks out.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Lesnar hits him square in the balls.  The referee, per Hunter’s request, is letting it go.  Lesnar hits the F-5, but Triple H kicks out.  Lesnar locks on the standing Kimura again.  Triple H tries to fight out, but Lesnar goes to the ground with it.  Triple H gets the ropes, but the ref isn’t enforcing the rules.  Hunter fights out of the hold.  Hunter hits the Pedigree and goes for the cover, but Lesnar gets the Kimura again.  Triple H taps in 18:45.  I’m absolutely shocked that they did the right thing and put Lesnar over.  The match was an intense brawl, but not on the level of Lesnar/Cena.  I’ll give it a thumbs slightly up.  Lesnar leaves.  Hunter refuses medical attention.  Fans chant “YOU TAPPED OUT!”, which is probably not what WWE was going for with this.  Hunter mouths “I’m sorry” and leaves to a mixture of boos and polite applause.

This show started well, dipped really low in the middle, peaked with the triple threat match, and ended okay.  I’d say the show as a whole is thumbs in the middle.

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WWE Superstars 3/17/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 15, 2011 by Chui

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

JTG vs. Tyler Reks.  They lock up.  Reks shoves JTG around.  JTG throws some punches.  Reks charges him in the corner and misses.  JTG lands a dropkick.  Reks clings to the ropes for safety.  Reks comes back and throws JTG out of the ring, then puts a hurting on him on the outside.  Back inside, Reks hits a backbreaker for 2.  JTG tries to fight back.  Reks hits a Final Cut for 2.  JTG avoids Reks in the corner again and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Reks holds onto the ropes to avoid a reverse cradle.  JTG gets it on the second try to for 2.  JTG low bridges Reks out of the ring and hits a diving shoulder block off the apron.  Back inside, JTG plants Reks with a DDT for 2.  JTG comes off the top rope, but Reks ducks him and kicks him in the gut.  Reks his his Burning Hammer for the pin in 5:48.  They tried, but I couldn’t get into it.

Tonight, Raw replays featuring Snooki.

WWE.com plug.

From Raw: Vickie Guerrero beat Trish Stratus after Dolph Ziggler, John Morrison, and LayCool got involved.  A brawl with Snooki happened and they booked a 6-person tag for Mania.

Santino & Kozlov in action next.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Ugh.  Santino has a new singlet.  I notice things like that.  The announcers don’t know the trick to telling the Usos apart.  Santino and Jey do some shit.  For what it’s worth, Jey is the one with the cross tattoo on his right arm.  Usos make quick tags and work over Santino.  Usos pull the switcheroo, but it doesn’t work.  Santino continues playing face in peril.  Kozlov gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Powerslam on Jey.  Jimmy saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Santino back body drops Jimmy on the floor.  Kozlov boots Jey and tags out.  Santino hits the Cobra on Jey for the pin in 4:24.  There ya go.

8-woman tag match tonight.  Ugh.

Raw Rebound.

WrestleMania hype.

Divas tag match next.  Ugh.

Melina, Alicia Fox, & The Bella Twins vs. WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres, Natalya, Gail Kim, & Tamina.  Tamina beats up one of the Bellas.  Fox beats up Tamina.  Tamina beats up Fox.  Fox beats up Gail.  Gail hits a dropkick and a clothesline for 2.  Natalya tags in.  She and Gail give Fox a double suplex.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but Fox makes it to the ropes before she can.  One of the Bellas tags in.  Natalya schoolgirls her for 2.  The other Bella distracts Natalya to let the legal Bella get the advantage.  The heel divas cut Natalya off and get the heat on her.  Insta-commercials.  Natalya continues to play face in peril.  Natalya gets a cradle on Melina for 1.  Melina applies a rear chin lock while chewing on her hair.  Natalya escapes and goes for an enzuigiri.  Melina ducks.  One of the Bellas pulls Eve off the apron.  Tamina drops both of the Bellas at ringside.  Natalya clotheslines Melina and makes the tag to Eve.  Natalya slams Melina.  Eve’s first act of the match is to hit a moonsault press on Melina for the pin (5:55 shown).  At least it’s over.  Face divas celebrate.

I was not into this show at all.  Not only was it not good, but I was also not in the right state of mind to get through this in a good humor.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/28/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 9, 2011 by Chui

WWE open.  Josh Matthews and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Triple H comes out to the ring.  Ugh.  He talks about the Undertaker for a while.  He says the only thing he hasn’t done is end the streak.  He says “there can be only one,” so I assume he’s going to try to behead Taker with a sword at WrestleMania.  He promises to end the streak or die trying.  Sheamus comes out.  Triple H immediately decks him, throws him out of the ring, into the barricade, and beats the shit out of him.  Triple H Pedigrees Sheamus through the announce table, so I guess that concludes the whole “Sheamus put Triple H out of action for nearly a year” feud.

Tonight, Shawn Michaels speaks on Triple H/Undertaker!  Michael Cole answers Lawler’s WrestleMania challenge!  The Rock appears via satellite!  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Sheamus is being helped out by referees.  The iBooker dings in.  Lawler finally gets his chance to read its decree, which is that Sheamus still has a match tonight.  His opponent is the returning Evan Bourne!

Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne.  Bourne dropkicks Sheamus and puts the boots to him in the corner.  Sheamus tries to fight back, but Bourne drops him with a kick and hits the Shooting Star press for the pin in 36 seconds.  Bourne is BACK!  Michael Cole comes out.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Jerry Lawler’s challenge to Michael Cole last week.

Michael Cole calls Jerry Lawler into the ring, reminding Lawler that he’ll be fired if he gives Cole the ass whooping he so desperately needs.  He says he’ll face Lawler at WrestleMania if his trainer can be in his corner and if he gets to choose the referee.  Lawler happily agrees.  Cole spazzes out, then introduces his trainer: Jack Swagger.  Cole shoves and slaps Lawler, now that he has someone to hide behind.  Swagger locks Lawler in the ankle lock.

Tonight, The Rock via satellite!

Randy Orton is headed our way!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Stone Cold Steve Austin will be here next week!

Cole takes Lawler’s place on commentary.  Ugh.  They replay the cowardly attack on from moments ago.

Randy Orton comes out.  He says his only regret is that he didn’t kick Punk harder in the head.  He promises to snap his neck next time.  The New Nexus come out.  Punk apparently plans to murder Orton.  Nexus head to the ring.  iBooker dings in.  Cole delegates that duty to Matthews, who books Orton vs. Punk for WrestleMania.  Orton will face members of The New Nexus over the next few weeks.  The members that Orton beats will be banned from ringside.  Other Nexus members will be banned from ringside during these matches, on pain of being disbanded.

Randy Orton vs. Michael McGillicutty.  They lock up.  McGillicutty backs Orton into the corner and beats on him.  Orton retaliates in kind.  McGillicutty avoids a knee drop.  Orton clotheslines him to the floor.  Commercials.  Orton beats up McGillicutty.  McGillicutty lands a dropkick for 2.  McGillicutty beats on Orton for a bit.  Orton makes his comeback with the powerslam, the 3.0, and the DDT OF MURDER.  Orton humps the mat and hits the RKO for the pin in 7:17.  They spent more time at commercials than on the match.  Orton sets him up for the punt of doom.  Punk tells him not to.  Orton does it anyway, but it doesn’t look like he made contact.  Orton runs out through the crowd to escape retribution from the New Nexus.

Sin Cara, the former Mistico, is coming to WWE!

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley are headed our way.  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: The Miz turning on John Cena and causing them to lose the WWE Tag Team Championship to The Corre last week.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz cuts a promo on John Cena and The Rock.  He says he’ll beat Cena and The Rock on the same night at WrestleMania.  John Cena comes out and makes some really stupid jokes about Miz being OCD.  Riley makes some toilet jokes.  Cena says Riley is the reason nobody takes Miz seriously, and Miz should fire him.  Miz doesn’t buy it, so Cena makes gay jokes.  Cena wants a match with Riley tonight, with Riley no longer being Miz’s bitch boy if he loses.  Miz agrees, with the stipulation that Cena has to admit Miz is the greatest superstar of all time if he loses.  iBooker dings in and Cole announcers that it’s an escape only Steel Cage Match.

Tonight, The Rock.  Commercials.

Tonight, Shawn Michaels speaks on Undertaker/Triple H!

WWE Divas Champions Eve Torres has joined the commentary team for a horrible Battle Royal.

Battle Royal to determine the #1 Contender for the WWE Divas Championship featuring Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Natalya, Gail Kim, Tamina, Maryse, Alicia Fox, and Melina.  Natalya immediately dumps one of the Bellas.  Fox and Tamina get eliminated in quick succession.  Melina and Natalya fight on the apron.  Maryse sends them both to the floor.  Gail hits the Regal Cutter on the remaining Bella.  Maryse drops Gail, then poses and goes for the DDT.  Gail counters and throws her out.  Gail throws out the Bella while the referee is out.  The other Bella sneaks in and throws Gail out for the win in 2:03.  Bellas beat up Eve after the match.  There ya go.

Buffalo!

The Rock on video next!  Commercials.

Last week, Cena rapped on The Rock!

The Rock appears appears live via satellite in his belt room and makes fun of John Cena, then bitches about Cena rapping at him.  He talks about loving WWE.  He claims he went Hollywood to open those doors for WWE.  He goes on for a while about whatever and calls Cena a “yabba dabba bitch.”  That took long enough.

Tonight, Cena vs. Riley in a cage.  Next, Shawn Michaels speaks on Undertaker/Triple H.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Shawn Michaels talks about the Undertaker/Triple H WrestleMania match.

WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan comes out.  The Miz appears and jumps him in the aisle, just because he’s an asshole.  Miz beats the hell out of Bryan and gives him the Skull Crushing Finale on the floor.  Well, thanks for ruining the first thing on this show that got me excited.  Miz says he did that because it’s the Miz Show (and because he’s a cocksucker is implied).  The cage match is next.  Commercials.

Stone Cold!  Next week!

The Miz has joined Cole and Matthews for commentary, presumably so Cole can suck his cock during the match.

Steel Cage Match: Alex Riley vs. John Cena.  Riley immediately tries to escape.  Cena kicks his ass for a while.  Cena goes to leave the cage, but Miz runs over to hold the door closed, then slams it into Cena.  Riley beats on Cena.  Miz takes a picture of Cena’s face being ground into the cage with his phone.  He hands Riley his Blackberry and Riley hits Cena with it.  Why?  Cole is obnoxious.  Riley tries to leave the cage.  Cena grabs his leg.  Miz tries to pull Riley out the door, so they’re essentially playing tug of war.  Cena wins and locks in the STF.  Riley taps, but it’s escape only, so the referee in the cage is pretty pointless.  Cena tries to go over the top of the cage.  Miz holds him at bay with a steel chair.  Riley finally wakes up and cuts Cena off.  Commercials.  Now?  Really?  They’re 2 minutes into the overrun.  Riley hits a dropkick on Cena.  Cena avoids a second dropkick and makes his comeback.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Riley grabs on and tries to climb out of the cage.  They fight on the top rope.  Riley sends Cena into the cage and falling to the floor.  Instead of easily escaping, Riley fucks around too long.  Cena climbs up and brings him down.  They fight on the top rope again.  Cena hits a bulldog off the top rope.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, then takes a picture of Riley with Miz’s phone.  Miz tries to stop Cena from leaving the cage.  Cena uses his retard strength to open the door and wins it in 12:44.  Miz immediately hits Cena with the Skull Crushing Finale, but he’s lost his manservant.

Pretty lame show.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/14/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2011 by Chui

WWE open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Anaheim, California!  Tonight, we’ll find out who’s going to host WrestleMania XXVII!  Randy Orton vs. Sheamus!  John Morrison vs. R-Truth!  John Cena vs. CM Punk, there must be a winner!  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

John Cena comes out and talks for a while about who might be the WrestleMania host, then makes fun of Michael Cole.  He starts to talk about The Nexus, but CM Punk comes out to interrupt.  They banter, and now it’s match time.

John Cena vs. CM Punk.  Cena wins the lock up and peppers Punk with body shots.  Cena charges the corner, but Punk avoids it and Cena hits the turnbuckles, then rolls out of the ring.  Punk hits a diving lariat off the apron.  Commercials.  Punk knees Cena in the face for 2.  Punk hits a snap suplex for 2.  Punk boots Cena and gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Punk applies a body scissors.  Cena fights out and goes for the STF, but Punk gets the ropes.  Punk puts a beating on Cena.  Cena makes his comeback.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk counters and hits a dropkick for 2.  Punk applies a headscissors.  Cena escapes and hits a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Cena goes up top, but Punk drops him with a kick.  Punk hits the running knee.  Cena counters the bulldog, hit a drop toe hold, and goes for the STF.  Punk counters and hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into a schoolboy for 2.  Punk drops Cena with a high kick for 2.  Punk goes for a cross body.  Cena catches him and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk fights it and ends up taking a bump out of the ring.  A Nexus member hands Punk a chair from under the ring.  Punk throws the chair in the ring and the referee turns to get rid of it.  The Nexus member hands Punk a wrench, with which he hits Cena in the face.  Punk hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 10:37.  Pretty good match.

Cole explains that Jerry Lawler isn’t here because his mother passed away.  Our best to the King.

Who’s the host going to be?  Commercials!

Slam of the Week: Alberto Del Rio’s attack on Edge’s arm 2 weeks ago.

Justin Roberts introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio cuts his usual promo about destiny.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge interrupts.  He talks for a bit, then kicks Del Rio’s ass.  He goes for the spear, but Ricardo distracts him and gets decked.  Edge bumps Del Rio off the apron into the barricade.  Vickie Guerrero comes out and screeches.  She introduces Dolph Ziggler as the new World Heavyweight Champion, presumably since Edge used the dreaded illegal running hug of doom on Smackdown.  She says Ziggler will be coronated on Smackdown.  This is fucking stupid.  She says he has proof that Edge took out Teddy Long, then cackles.  Again, this is fucking stupid.

Eve vs. Natalya is next.  Commercials.

Tonight, WrestleMania host.  Plus, The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan.  I’m so pissed at the stupidity in the last segment that I’m not even excited.

The Divas title match is a lumberjill match for some reason.  The Bella Twins, Tamina, Gail Kim, Maryse, Melina, and Alicia Fox are at ringside.

Lumberjill Match for the WWE Divas Championship: Eve Torres (c) vs. Natalya.  They lock up and do a bit of chain wrestling.  They both throw dropkicks, then slap hands and do some more stuff.  Natalya rocks a surfboard.  Eve manages to turn it into a cradle for 2.  Natalya grabs a headlock.  Eve hits a flip splash for 2.  Natalya hits a discus lariat.  Eve throws Natalya out of the ring.  The Bellas attack her.  Fight breaks out with all the women at ringside.  Eve hits a cross body into a pile of them.  Maryse looks hurt.  Cole is laughing.  Back inside, Eve and Natalya conk heads.  Natalya goes for a la magistral, but Eve counters and gets the pin in 3:37.  They tried, but this sucked.  They shake hands.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Rev Theory is in the front row.

The Bella Twins talk shit to Eve backstage, the jump her.  Gail Kim and Natalya make the save.  Referees try to break it up.

Chaperone trailer.  Ugh.

Mark Henry comes out.  Sheamus jumps him in the aisle and drops him with the brogue kick.  Sheamus says that’s a message for the “fellas” in the Elimination Chamber.  Henry makes it up and Sheamus gives him another brogue kick.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley are headed our way.  Miz shoves down some geek backstage.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: The Miz & Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Jerry Lawler & Daniel Bryan from last week.

Non-Title: WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) vs. WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan.  Riley joins Cole and Matthews for commentary.  They lock up.  Miz gets the obligatory headlock and shoulder block, then talks shit.  They lock up again.  Bryan hits some arm drags and the leap frog, drop down, dropkick.  Miz boots Bryan in the face and puts the boots to him.  Miz applies a camel clutch.  Bryan fights out and locks in a rear naked choke.  Miz gets the ropes.  Bryan kicks the crap out of him.  Miz hits an elbow smash for 2.  Miz applies a rear chin lock.  Bryan fights out.  They trade punches.  Cole ridiculously compares Miz to the Crusher.  Bryan gets rolling.  A dropkick to the corner gets 2.  Bryan back body drops Miz to the floor and goes for a dive.  Miz avoids it.  Bryan hits a flying knee off the apron.  Back inside, Bryan goes up top and hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock, but Miz is in the ropes.  Miz connects with a knee lift and a neckbreaker on the apron!  Commercials.  Miz goes for a superplex, but Bryan counters and hits a sunset flip powerbomb for 2.  Bryan lands some vicious kicks.  Miz gets a schoolboy for 2.  Miz gets an inside cradle for 2.  Miz hits the backbreaker and goes for the neckbreaker, but Bryan counters into a German suplex.  Bryan lands a head kick for 2.  Miz counters the LeBell Lock and eats an elbow.  Bryan goes for something, but Miz faceplants him.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 11:57.  Awesome match.  My mood has improved.  Miz cuts a promo after the match.

Who will host Mania?!  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty of the New Nexus (w/ Mason Ryan) vs. John Morrison & R-Truth.  This was supposed to be Morrison vs. Truth, but iBooker changed it.  Truth jumps around with McGillicutty.  Ryan trips Truth.  McGillicutty sends Truth outside.  Ryan gets in his cheap shot.  McGillicutty rams Truth’s back into the apron.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Otunga tags in and keeps the heat going on Truth.  Otunga hits a suplex for 2, then applies a rear chin lock.  Truth hits a backdrop suplex and makes the hot tag.  Morrison runs wild and stomps the shit out of Otunga and McGillicutty, then kicks Mason Ryan and hip tosses Truth out of the ring onto him.  Morrison hits McGillicutty with the running knee strike for the pin in 4:16.  There ya go.  Morrison and Truth brawl with Ryan after the match and send him out of the ring.

Plug for Chris Jericho’s new book, which I just started reading.

Anaheim!

Tonight, Orton vs. Sheamus!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Justin Roberts introduces Ariel Winter, who plays Triple H’s daughter in that shitty movie.  She screeches for a while.  Great Khali and Ranjin Singh come out for the stupid Kiss Cam.  The cam is going backstage too.  Fans kiss.  Santino Marella and Tamina kiss.  Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler kiss.  More fans kiss.  Maryse refuses to kiss Ted Dibiase Jr. and kisses Yoshi Tatsu instead.  William Regal kisses Zack Ryder on the cheek.  More fans.  Hornswoggle sneaks in the ring and gives Ariel a box of chocolates.  She kisses him on the cheek.  Hornswoggle celebrates.

Who’s going to host Mania?

Randy Orton is headed our way!  Commercials!

2/21/11!  Hey, that’s next week!  Something’s gonna happen!

King Sheamus vs. Randy Orton.  They start with a very aggressive lock up, then brawl for a while.  Sheamus gets the advantage and puts a beating on Orton.  Sheamus hits a slingshot shoulder block for 2.  Sheamus works Orton’s shoulder.  Orton fights back and gets rolling with clotheslines and a powerslam.  Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for 2.  Sheamus hits a superplex.  Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere for the pin in 5:04.  Well that was abrupt.  The New Nexus jump Orton.  John Morrison, R-Truth, and John Cena make the save.  Orton RKOs Otunga and McGillicutty.  Orton and Cena clothesline Ryan out of the ring.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep on Orton, but fails.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Punk.

A limo arrives.  A woman gets out.  The Mania host will be revealed next!

The host of WrestleMania XXVII is… they do a really big, dramatic build up with the lights going out and shit.  IT’S THE ROCK!  Finally, The Rock has come back to Anaheim!  To Monday Night Raw!  Home!  He lists off his various nicknames.  He says he’s back for the fans and he’s never going away again.  He makes jokes about Justin Bieber.  He talks a little shit about The Miz.  The iBooker dings in.  Rock tells Cole to sit down and STFU just like old times.  Rock plugs his Facebook page and threatens to stick the iBooker laptop up Cole’s candy ass.  Rock talks A LOT of shit about John Cena, having taken offense to comments Cena made about Rock in the past.  He says “ass” a lot, so apparently he didn’t get the PG memo.  He finishes with the “If ya smell what The Rock is cookin’.”  Rock poses while his music plays as the show closes.

Some parts of this show really sucked, and some were really good.  I’m still pissed about the retarded way Ziggler got the title, but the Miz/Bryan match and the Rock stuff were pretty great.

WWE Superstars 2/10/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2011 by Chui

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are the first announcers.  Tonight, Jack Swagger vs. Trent Barreta!  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.

Natalya vs. Alicia Fox.  Natalya takes Fox down to the mat with a side headlock.  Fox escapes.  Natalya clamps on another headlock.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but Fox gets the ropes to escape.  They lock up again.  Fox beats up Natalya.  Natalya applies a surfboard, then turns it into a pinning predicament for 2.  Fox pulls Natalya’s head over the top rope and goes back to work on her.  Fox applies a body scissors.  Natalya turns it into a bear hug.  Fox escapes and goes for a backdrop suplex, but fails.  Double clothesline spot.  Natalya hits a butterfly suplex and makes her comeback.  Natalya botches a Jackhammer for 2.  Natalya takes Fox down by the leg and locks in the Sharpshooter for the win in 6:36.  This kind of sucked.

Up next, Raw clips!

Raw clips.

Tonight, Swagger vs. Barreta!

WWE.com plug.

Handicap Match: Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Typical “2 guys against an immobile giant” stuff.  Usos hit a double superkick for 2.  Khali makes is comeback and hits the tree slam on Jimmy for the pin in 2:00.  Whatever.

Tonight, Swagger vs. Barreta!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are now the announcers.

Elimination Chamber hype video.

Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

Tyler Reks is in action NEXT!

They show Reks turning on Curt Hawkins last week.

Tyler Reks vs. Curt Hawkins.  Hawkins shoves Reks.  Reks boots him to death in the face and pounds on him.  Hawkins lands an elbow smash and makes his comeback.  Hawkins hits a Michinoku Driver II for 2.  Hawkins counters out of a powerslam in a face plant for 2.  Hawkins goes up top.  Reks crotches him, gets  him in a fireman’s carry, and drops him across the top turnbuckle!  Reks hits the modified Burning Hammer for the pin in 3:21.  Fun little match.

Still to come, Swagger vs. Barreta!

Jack Swagger vs. Trent Barreta.  Swagger throws and slams Barreta around.  Barreta gets a sunset flip for 2.  Barreta gets a flying schoolboy for 2.  Swagger throws Barreta around some more.  Swagger hits the Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger applies an arm hold.  Barreta tries to make his comeback, but misses an enzuigiri.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock for the win in 2:54.  Fun while it lasted.

The first half sucked, second half wasn’t too bad.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/24/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2011 by Chui

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our announcers LIVE from Detroit!  Tonight, Edge vs. Miz in a champion vs. champion match!  Natalya vs. Melina for the Divas Championship!  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out and talks about how he hates waiting for things.  He wants his match with Miz NOW.  iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that the match won’t happen until later, but the computer is still pissed off at Edge, so he’s going to put Edge in some kind of thing where whoever throws Edge over the top rope gets the #40 spot in the Royal Rumble.

Over The Top Rope Challenge: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Jack Swagger vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Tyson Kidd.  Edge spears Swagger immediately.  Kidd drops Edge with a head kick.  Edge powerslams him and tosses him out.  McIntyre drops Edge with a boot and tries to eliminate him.  Swagger saves.  Edge tosses Swagger.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Edge tosses him to win it in 1:08.  This was pretty dumb and pointless.

Edge teases that he’ll beat up the laptop again.  Cole tries to protect it.  The New Nexus come out to the ring.  Punk cuts a promo about how his strength will allow him to win the Royal Rumble.  He introduces his new big guy as Mason Ryan.  Ryan says “faith.”  Punk rambles on this note for a while.  He says Nexus will make sure he wins the Rumble.  The Corre (who Punk called “that poor man’s Nexus”) come out to the ring and face off with Nexus.  Barrett says the New Nexus is the poor man’s Nexus.  Jackson says The Corre will make sure to eliminate Punk at the Rumble.  Jackson and Ryan face off.  iBooker dings in again.  Cole announces Barrett vs. Punk tonight, with the loser and his team being out of the Rumble match and John Cena as the guest referee.  Commercials!

Slam of the Week: Mark Henry throwing Sheamus over the top rope last week, then Alberto Del Rio cutting his usual promo.

John Morrison & Mark Henry vs. Sheamus & Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio is introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez.  Del Rio and Morrison lock up.  Del Rio stomps down Morrison in the corner.  Sheamus tags in and brawls with his rival, Morrison.  Morrison hits a headscissors and a dropkick for 2.  Sheamus lands a kick to the gut and tags Del Rio in.  Morrison connects with a shoulder block and a kick, then hits a side Russian leg sweep.  Moirrison goes for Starship Pain, but Sheamus pulls Del Rio to safety.  Commercials.  Del Rio has Morrison in a chin lock, since the heels used heel chicanery to get the advantage during the break.  Morrison plays face in peril.  Michael Tarver is watching on TV backstage.  Sheamus puts a vicious meeting on Morrison and goes for the brogue kick.  Morrison ducks it and lands an enzuigiri.  Del Rio and Henry tag in.  Henry runs wild.  Sheamus breaks Henry’s cover on Del Rio.  Henry breaks Sheamus’ head.  Sheamus drops Henry with the brogue kick.  Morrison drops Sheamus with the Flying Chuck, then hits a dive to the outside.  Del Rio gets Henry in the Minoru Special for the win in 10:05.  Good little match.

Tonight, Barrett vs. Punk!  Next, Natalya vs. Melina!  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Natalya (c) vs. Melina.  They lock up.  There is screaming.  Melina tackles Natalya through the ropes and to the floor.  Back inside, Melina works Natalya’s hair.  Ugh.  Cover gets 2.  Melina applies a weird arm scissors hold.  Natalya stands up and rams Melina into the corner.  Melina kicks Natalya in the head.  Natalya hits a botched hip toss and a throw.  Melina lands a clothesline.  Melina goes for a leg drop through the legs.  Natalya catches her leg and turns it into a Sharpshooter.  Natalya bridges all the way back and gets the submission in 2:44.  I like the finish.  Reminded me of Bret/Perfect from SummerSlam ’91.  Michelle McCool and Layla come out.  Fucking ugh.  They’re fucking obnoxious.  They say they’re getting a title shot at the Rumble.  Ugh.

Tonight, Edge vs. Miz.  Commercials.

Detroit!

Highlights of Punk vs. Cena from last week.

CM Punk lectures The New Nexus about sacrifice, because they’re supposed to sacrifice their chances to win the Rumble for him.  They have questions, but Punk is unconcerned.

Josh Matthews interviews John Cena.  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley interrupt.  Stupid comedy ensues, then Cena tries to get serious, then makes another lame joke.  Cena and Matthews leave.  Miz is mad that everyone thinks he’s going to lose at the Rumble.  They show the video of Miz and Riley beating down Randy Orton last week.

Non-Title: WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) vs. World Heavyweight Champion Edge.  Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero come out to do commentary.  Ugh.  Edge avoids some kicks from Miz and beats him up.  They do a little wrestling.  Edge clotheslines Miz out of the ring.  Commercials.  Miz connects with a knee lift and targets Edge’s injured ribs.  Cover gets 2.  Edge rallies and connects with a neckbreaker.  I hate matches that focus on the fucking announcers.  Edge goes for the spear, but Miz bails.  Edge follows and they brawl outside.  Edge reverses Miz’s Irish whip into the barricade.  Back inside, Edge goes up top.  Miz cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Edge fights him off and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge beats up Miz.  Miz avoids Edge in the corner, then front suplexes him into the ropes.  Commercials.  Miz beats up Edge and continues working on his ribs.  Edge hits a flapjack and makes his comeback.  Edge hits his wonky face plant move for 2.  Edge avoids the running clothesline the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Riley bothers Edge, so Edge goes after him.  Miz gets a distracted Edge with an inside cradle for 2.  Edge ducks a clothesline and hits a baseball slide dropkick on Riley.  Edge gives Miz the Edgecution and goes for the spear.  Ziggler trips Edge to cause the DQ in 16:39, then hits the Zig Zag.  Randy Orton runs in to make the save.  He drops Riley and Ziggler, then kicks Miz’s ass.  Orton drops Riley and Ziggler with RKOs.  Miz takes out Orton’s knee with Riley’s briefcase, then runs away.  The match was okay.

Tonight, Barrett vs. Punk!  Commercials.

Josh Matthews interviews Wade Barrett.  The rest of the Corre comes in.  Barrett says they’re all equals.  He again professes their innocence regarding what happened to Teddy Long.  He says he respects John Cena.

WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan & The Bella Twins vs. Ted Dibiase Jr., Maryse, & Alicia Fox.  Bryan and Dibiase lock up.  Dibiase lands a shoulder block.  Bryan leap frogs Dibiase and hits a hip toss.  Maryse tags herself in and orders Dibiase out.  One of the Bellas schools Maryse while the other flirts with Bryan.  Maryse schoolgirls the Bella for the pin in 1:01.  That was pointless.  The Bellas argue.

Barrett vs. Punk TONIGHT!  Commercials.

Detroit!

Royal Rumble hype.

The Bellas argue backstage.  There’s another Michael Tarver sighting.  They go into Daniel Bryan’s locker room and find him making out with Gail Kim.  Bryan’s a pimp!  He says they’ve been dating for 6 months, but keeping it quit.  They thought he was a virgin, but he’s a vegan.  They’re dumb and pointless, and he felt sorry for them.  A catfight breaks out.  One of the Bellas decks Bryan in the process.

New Nexus come out.  The tag titles are on the line NEXT!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

This week on Smackdown, Miz & Ziggler vs. Rated RKO!

It’s announced that Cole was an idiot before and this isn’t a tag title match.

Non-Title: Michael McGillicutty & Husky Harris of The New Nexus (w/ David Otunga & Mason Ryan) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Tamina).  McGillicutty beats up Kozlov.  Kozlov takes him down and tags in Santino.  Santino gets a side headlock takeover.  The next thing of note that he gets is his head taken off with an enzui lariat.  Nexus get the heat on Marella.  Santino tries to make the tag, but Harris knocks Kozlov off the apron.  Santino rallies and makes his comeback on Harris.  Santino goes for the Cobra.  McGillicutty distracts him.  Harris mauls Santino with a lariat, then hits a Complete Shot for the pin in 3:49.  Well, there ya go.  Otunga gets on the mic, puts over his boys, and introduces CM Punk.

John Cena gets a referee shirt on his way to the ring.  The main event is NEXT!  Commercials.

CM Punk (w/ David Otunga, Michael McGillicutty, Husky Harris, & Mason Ryan) vs. Wade Barrett (w/ Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, & Heath Slater).  John Cena is the referee.  Cena ejects the New Nexus and Corre before the match.  The match finally starts, then Cena shoves Punk and begs him to punch him, then slaps Barrett for good measure.  Punk beats down Barrett and throws him over the top rope to eliminate him from the Royal Rumble.  Punk yells that that’s he’ll do to Cena on Sunday.  Cena eliminates Punk from the Rumble.  Punk threatens to punch Cena.  Barrett beats up Punk.  Cena goes outside to sign autographs.  Barrett yells at him for missing a cover.  Punk attacks Barrett again.  Double clothesline spot.  Cena stops the match in 1:58.  He DQs both of them from “excessive profanity on a PG show,” so both teams are out of the Rumble.  That’s kind of funny.  iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that Cena abused his power, so everybody’s in the Rumble.  Well that’s a jip.  iBooker says Cena has to apologize, or he’s out of the Rumble.  Cena goes back to the ring, “apologizes,” and decks both of them.  The Corre and The New Nexus hit the ring, so Cena bails.  A couple of guys go after Cena and a brawl breaks out.  The locker room empties as Big Show, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Daniel Bryan, Yoshi Tatsu, R-Truth, John Morrison, and Mark Henry come out.  Everybody brawls as the show closes.

Fun show.  Not great, but fun.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 1/14/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 14, 2011 by Chui

WWE open, Big Show/Wade Barrett hype video, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tonight, The Cutting Edge with Dolph Ziggler!  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez, who introduces Alberto Del Rio, who cuts a promo insulting the fans and saying he’ll win the Rumble and go to WrestleMania.  R-Truth comes out to tell him a bunch of superficial reasons why that won’t happen.  “Dashing” Cody Rhodes comes out and says he’ll win the Rumble.  Well now they’re just getting ridiculous.  Rey Mysterio Jr. comes out to talk about the superficial reasons he’s going to win the Rumble.  How many more guys are they going to bring out?  Everybody banters, then starts fighting.  Teddy Long comes out to make the tag match for NEXT!

Alberto Del Rio & Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. & R-Truth.  Rhodes beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio beats up Rhodes.  Del Rio tags in to renew his war with Mysterio and puts a beating on him.  Del Rio sends Mysterio outside and beats him up up the floor.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Rhodes tags in and missing a diving knee drop.  Mysterio tries to go up top, but Rhodes cuts him off and tries to set up a superplex.  Mysterio fights him off and hits a diving cross body.  R-Truth and Del Rio tag in.  Truth runs wild.  Sit-out front suplex gets 2.  Truth clotheslines Del Rio out of the ring, then sends Rhodes to the floor too.  Mysterio takes both opponents out with an Asai moonsault.  Insta-commercials.  Del Rio fights out of a side headlock from Truth.  Rhodes tags in and works over Truth.  Truth drops him on his face and beats him up.  Rhodes takes advantage of a distraction from Del Rio to deck Truth and get the upper hand.  The heels get the heat on Truth.  Truth gives Rhodes an electric chair drop and makes the hot tag to Mysterio.  Mysterio runs wild and hits a rebound cross body for 2.  They do a sweet cradle exchange.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Truth takes out Del Rio.  Rhodes takes out Truth.  Rhodes goes for the Alabama Slam, but Mysterio counters with a headscissors and hits the 619 and the springboard splash for the pin 10:30 shown).  Good little match.

Tonight, Show vs. Barrett!  Plus, the Cutting Edge!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Str8 Outta Brooklyn with JTG.  He talks about stuff.  I have no idea.

They show Wade Barrett attacking The Big Show during the four-way match last week.

Todd Grisham interviews Wade Barrett.  He’s going to take out the biggest, baddest dude on Smackdown because he’s Julius Caesar, or something.

Ezekiel Jackson returns SOON!

Trent Barreta vs. Drew McIntyre.  They show Barreta killing himself with a Space Flying Tiger Drop 2 weeks ago, and McIntyre jumping him like a dick after the match.  Barreta is good and pissed off now and beats up McIntyre.  The referee gets in his way, allowing McIntyre to kill him with a big boot and beat the shit out of him.  McIntyre pulls Barreta to the floor and rams his head into the announce table.  The referee looks dumbfounded.  McIntyre brings Barreta back into the ring and beats the shit out of him some more.  McIntyre lands a nice dropkick for 2, then applies a shoulder hold.  Barreta lands on his feet from a German suplex attempt and makes his comeback.  He goes for his fancy DDT, but McIntyre avoids it and hits a belly to belly suplex.  McIntyre tries to press slam Barreta to the floor.  Barreta counters and surprises McIntyre with a sunset flip for the pin in 3:26.  Holy upset, Batman!

The Big Show is headed our way!

Drew McIntyre jumps Trent Barreta backstage.  Kelly Kelly catches him.  McIntyre tries to make excuses.  Even she’s not dumb enough to buy it.

The Big Show vs. Wade Barrett.  Show beats the shit out of Barrett.  Barrett takes out Show’s knee and drops him with a big boot.  Barrett works Show’s knee.  Show rallies and beats up Barrett some more.  Barrett twice avoids the chokeslam.  Show goes for it a third time.  Heat Slater and Justin Gabriel appear to cause the DQ in 2:42.  Ezekiel Jackson appears and faces off with Show.  Barrett, Slater, and Gabriel jump Show.  He fights them off.  Jackson gets in the ring and clotheslines Show.  Slater gives Show a Complete Shot.  Jackson body slams Show.  Gabriel delivers the 450 splash.  The new quartet stands tall.

Moments ago, ^ WENT DOWN.

Michelle McCool (w/ Layla) vs. Beth Phoenix.  They lock up.  Phoenix picks skinny bitch up, rams her into the corner, and kicks her ass.  McCool avoids a charge in the corner and attacks Beth’s knee.  McCool works the knee.  Phoenix gets a schoolgirl for 2.  McCool recovers and keeps working the knee.  Phoenix uses the injured leg to power McCool over the top rope to the floor.  Back inside, Beth makes her comeback.  Beth channels Tully Blanchard and hits the slingshot suplex for 2.  Beth goes for the Glam Slam.  McCool kicks the injured knee and goes for a big boot.  Beth says “Fuck that” and goes her move again.  McCool counters into a front cradle.  Beth cuts it back and gets the pin in 4:06.  Not a bad little match.

Tonight, The Cutting Edge!

Birmingham!

Shawn Michaels Hall of Fame video.

Teddy Long bickers with Vickie Guerrero (w/ Dolph Ziggler) about what happened last week.  Teddy gets a phone call and goes to investigate something.  Ziggler and Vickie make up from their spat last week.

WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston is headed our way!

WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston comes out and cuts a promo about FINALLY regaining the Intercontinental Championship last week.  Jack Swagger interrupts and puts himself over.  He talks about his ankle lock for a while.  Kofi challenges him to a match.  I assumed that was the idea anyway, since a match was announced and there was a referee in the ring.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger.  Kofi beats up Swagger.  Kofi jumps at Swagger in the corner.  Swagger meets him with boots, then sends him out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  Swagger puts the boots to Kofi.  Swagger cranks on Kofi’s arm and shoulder.  Swagger hits a springboard Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger keeps the heat going.  Kofi avoids a second Vader Bomb and rallies.  Swagger ducks the Trouble In Paradise and hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Kofi hits the S.O.S. for the pin out of nowhere (5:00 shown).  Swagger kicked out just after the three count.  Okayish match.  These two just don’t mesh well and I’ve seen them wrestle each other about 5 million times.

The Cutting Edge is NEXT!

World Heavyweight Champion Edge is out to do the Cutting Edge.  He says he dealt with one monster (Kane) last week, and now he has to deal with another (Vickie).  Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero come out.  Edge and Vickie banter.  Ziggler threatens to leave.  Edge insults Vickie some more.  Ziggler talks about how great Vickie is.  They show a video of Edge kissing Alicia Fox years ago that played during Edge & Vickie’s “wedding.”  They show a clip of Ziggler kissing Kaitlyn and getting caught by Primo and AJ 2 months ago.  Ziggler jumps Edge.  Edge records and kicks him in the face.  Ziggler bails.  Vickie screams and slaps Edge repeatedly.  Then she screams some more and jumps on his back.  Edge sets her down, then thinks about spearing her.  Ziggler pulls Edge out of the ring and and gives him the Zig Zag into the steps.  Ziggler and Vickie make out.  Fin.

Pretty solid show.