Archive for Alberto Del Rio

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/14/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 14, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

The Rock appears on the screen pretending to talk to President Obama on the phone.  John Cena’s music plays.  A kid dressed like Cena appears in Rock’s office.  Rock has a talk with “Cena,” makes him cry, and gives him some Fruity Pebbles.  Rock then cuts a serious promo on The Miz.

Trish Stratus chats with Snooki backstage.

Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Cole is in a plexiglass box.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

WWE Champion The Miz comes out.  They show his various recent attacks on John Cena.  Miz cuts a promo on The Rock.  iBooker dings in.  Cole leaves the Cole Mine to read it, so what’s the point of the Cole Mine?  Lawler punks him down and reads it himself.  Tonight, there are to be 2 never before seen matches: Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio and Miz vs. Great Khali, the latter of which is next.  Commercials

Non-Title: WWE Champion The Miz vs. Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh).  Miz goes on the attack.  Khali lightly shoves him down.  Khali beats up Miz, who looks like a midget by comparison.  Khali applies the head vice.  Miz gets a rope break.  Alex Riley appears and attacks Khali to cause the DQ in 1:10.  Khali gives Riley the crown chop and the tree slam.  Miz wears out Khali with a chair.  So let me get this straight: THE WWE CHAMPION, 3 WEEKS BEFORE WRESTLEFREAKINGMANIA, COULDN”T BEAT THE GREAT FUCKING KHALI?  It’s not like Khali has any fucking credibility anyway, since the last time he was on Raw he was doing the stupid kiss cam.  Miz DDTs Khali on the chair.

Cole promises to “expose” Jerry Lawler tonight.  Also, Randy Orton vs. Mason Ryan.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

From Smackdown: Triple H cut a promo on The Undertaker.

Saint Louis!

John Morrison hits on Snooki backstage.  Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler interrupt.  Vickie talks shit to Snooki.  Snooki slaps her.  Vickie throws a fit.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

WWE United States Championship: Daniel Bryan (c) (w/ Gail Kim) vs. Sheamus.  Sheamus promised to quit if he lost, but he seems to be having second thoughts about that.  They lock up and wrestle a bit.  Sheamus hits a shoulder block for 0.  Bryan back flips over Sheamus and hits a drop toe hold.  He goes for the LeBell Lock, but Sheamus rolls to the apron.  Bryan kicks him off and lands a tope suicida.  Back inside, Bryan hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Sheamus bails.  Commercials.  Sheamus has Bryan in a neck crank, having gained the advantage during the break.  Sheamus beats on Bryan.  Sheamus lands a knee lift for 2.  Bryan catches an inside cradle for 2, then back body drops Sheamus to the floor.  Sheamus sells a leg injury like he did last week.  Sheamus makes it back in.  The referre stands in Bryan’s way.  Sheamus goes for the brogue kick, but Bryan ducks and locks in the LeBell Lock.  Sheamus gets a rope break.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Bryan counters into a cradle for 2.  They trade elbows.  Bryan lands a flurry of kicks for 2.  Bryan goes up top and dives.  Sheamus kills him in midair with the brogue kick for the pin in 8:59 to win the title.  Fun match, even if the Bryan mark in me is a little bummed he lost the title.

Cole promises to interview someone from Lawler’s past next.  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: Last week, Michael Cole introduced JBL as his WrestleMania referee, but Stone Cold Steve Austin intervened and signed on for the job.  Also, beer was poured on Michael Cole, which was awesome.

Michael Cole is obnoxious, then introduces his guest, Lawler’s son Brian Christopher.  Christopher comes out dancing to the old Too Cool music and looking older than his dad.  The crowd does not give a fuck.  Christopher talks about what a shitty dad Lawler was.  Lawler retorts about what a fuck up Christopher is.  Christopher asks Lawler how he feels about Christopher competing at WrestleMania before him, then shoves and slaps his dad.  He says he never used Lawler’s name because he’s ashamed of him.  Cole starts to shit talk Lawler again.  “Boomer Sooner” plays and Jim Ross comes out!  Cole shit talks JR.  They banter for a bit.  Cole continues talking shit, then Ross acts like he wants to fight.  Jack Swagger appears from somewhere and jumps Lawler, then beats up JR and puts him in the ankle lock.  Lawler wakes up to make the save.  Cole jumps on his back.  Swagger knocks Lawler down and puts him in the ankle lock.  Cole puts JR in the ankle lock.

Tonight, Cena vs. Del Rio!  It could be a big money drawing match in 6 months to a year, so of course they’re giving it away free with no build!  Orton vs. Ryan is next.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Randy Orton punting Michael McGillicutty 2 weeks ago, and David Otunga last week.

Randy Orton vs. Mason Ryan (w/ CM Punk).  Punk watches from the stage since he isn’t allowed at ringside.  They lock up, then brawl.  Ryan hits a backbreaker for 2.  Ryan hits 2 more backbreakers for 2, so an extra backbreaker does not equal an extra count.  Ryan applies a bear hug.  Ryan hits a side Rock Bottom for 2.  He goes for it again.  Orton hits the RKO for the pin in 3:00.  At least it’s over.  Punk can’t have Nexus fight his battle for him at WrestleMania.  Orton stares at Punk for a while, then returns to the ring and punts Ryan, then humps the mat while glaring at Punk.  Punk backs away in fear.

Earlier tonight, Snooki/Vickie Guerrero stuff.  Commercials.

Saint Louis.

New Hall of Famer: Drew Carey.  Are you fucking serious?  I hate WWE.

Michael Cole decides he hasn’t been obnoxious enough tonight, so he’s obnoxious some more.

Cena vs. Del Rio tonight.

Trish Stratus and Snooki are walking backstage.  Zack Ryder hits on Snooki, who approves of his abs.  Commercials.

Snooki comes out.  She’s not nearly as obnoxious as that parody of her in TNA.  She says Trish Stratus will shut up Vickie Guerrero.  She leaves to sit at ringside.  Vickie comes out and is obnoxious.

No DQ Match: Vickie Guerrero vs. Trish Stratus.  Vickie does jumping jacks and football exercises.  Trish schoolgirls her for 2.  Dammit.  Trish pie faces Vickie.  Vickie bails and runs around the ring.  Trish chases her back in.  Vickie cackles and tries to use a shoe as a sword, then throws it.  Who throws a shoe, honestly?  Trish spanks Vickie with her own shoe.  Dolph Ziggler runs in.  John Morrison hits the ring and takes him out, then hits him with a dive.  Michelle McCool and Layla appear and attack Trish.  Michelle kicks Trish with the loaded boot.  Vickie covers and gets the pin while LayCool sit on her back in 2:27.  So Vickie has a job.  Fuck.  All of the obnoxious women are obnoxious together.  McCool talks shit to Snooki, who is very short.  McCool shoves Snooki.  Snooki pulls her down face first into the apron, then attacks Layla in the ring.  Trish stops McCool from making the save.  Vickie throws a fit.  The heels escape.  Ugh.  Vickie challenges Morrison, Trish, & Snooki to face Ziggler & LayCool at WrestleMania.  Snooki agrees.  Joy.

Cena vs. Del Rio is next.  Commercials.

Sin Cara vignette.

Video of Shawn Michaels talking about The Undertaker.

Justin Roberts introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.

Alberto Del Rio (w/ Brodus Clay) vs. John Cena.  They lock up.  Del Rio takes Cena down with a side headlock.  Del Rio hits a shoulder block.  Cena makes a comeback.  Cole insists that The Rock is here.  Commercials 5 minutes into the overrun.  Del Rio lands a dropkick for 2.  Cena turns a headlock in a backdrop suplex.  Double clothesline spot.  They trade punches.  Cena makes his standard comeback and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Brodus Clay attacks Cena to cause the DQ in 7:19.  The Rock’s music plays, but it’s The Miz wearing a very believable skin cap.  Miz, Del Rio, and Clay beat down Cena.  Miz hits the Rock Bottom.  Okay, now I can see the outlines on the skin cap.  Del Rio gives Cena an enzuigiri.  Clay delivers a fall away slam.  Miz does The Rock’s corner pose, then takes off the stupid skin cap and goes outside to ram Cena’s back into the post.  Miz hits Cena with a microphone and talks shit to him.  Miz suplexes Cena on the stage, then picks him up.  Cena fights back and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Miz counters and DDTs Cena on the stage, then throws him into the set, then gives him the Skull Crushing Finale.

Parts of the show were passable, but mostly… just fucking ugh.

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WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/11/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 13, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are TAPED from Houston!  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Booker T are the announcers.  Triple H will be here tonight.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out.  They show the contract signing and brawl with Alberto Del Rio last week, with Christian making the save for Edge and beating the piss out of Del Rio.  Edge says he wants to fight Del Rio tonight.  Alberto Del Rio and Brodus Clay come out.  Del Rio and Edge talk shit to each other.  Edge attacks them both.  That’s stupid, because there are two of them, and they quickly overcome Edge and put a beating on him.  Christian makes the save.  Big Brodus Clay drops him too.  Referees come out to break it up.  Teddy Long comes out and books a tag match with Del Rio & Clay against the 7-time Tag Team Champions, Edge & Christian!

Michael Cole says he’s going to interview John Cena tonight.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Kane comes out.  They show the stuff with Kane, Big Show, and The Corre from last week.  Wade Barrett comes out and cuts a promo on him.

Kane vs. Wade Barrett.  Barrett goes on the attack.  Kane rallies and beats up Barrett.  The rest of The Corre hit the ring to cause the DQ in 42 seconds.  The Big Show makes the save with a steel chair.  Insta-commercials.

The Big Show & Kane vs. Wade Barrett & WWE Tag Team Champion Heath Slater of The Corre.  JIP.  Show beats up Slater.  Barrett tags in.  Show beats him up too.  Barrett counters the choke slam and chop blocks Show’s knee, then drops him with a big boot and stomps on him.  Slater tags in to continue the work.  Show stands up with Slater on his back and drops him.  Kane gets the tag and hits Slater with the diving lariat.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam, then knocks Barrett off the apron.  Kane hits a big boot and goes for the chokeslam.  Gabriel and Zeke run in to cause the DQ again (3:19 shown).  Big Show cleans house with a chair, then hits Kane with it for good measure because of what happened last week.

Rey Mysterio is backstage getting ready for action.

From Raw: Michael Cole introduces John Bradshaw Layfield as his chosen referee from WrestleMania, but Stone Cold Steve Austin signed on for the job instead!

Tonight, Edge & Christian vs. Del Rio & Clay!

Cody Rhodes is headed our way!

From Smackdown 2 weeks ago: Cody & Dusty Rhodes set up Rey Mysterio!

Cody Rhodes vs. JTG.  Rhodes wrestles in his suit for some damn reason.  Maybe the airline lost his gear.  He attacks JTG and beats the hell out of him.  Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin in 52 seconds.  SQUASH.

From Raw: Shawn Michaels speaks on Triple H/Undertaker.

Tonight, Triple H responds to The Undertaker!  Next, Cole interviews John Cena!

Houston!

Michael Cole interviews John Cena in the ring.  The show WWE Champion The Miz attacking Cena on Raw.  Cena tells Cole to shut up, then cuts a promo on Miz.  He says he’s done with the BS with The Rock and he’s going to focus on Miz.  He goes to leave, but Cole says he’s not done.  He talks about how gay he is for Miz.  Cena goes to kick his ass.  Jack Swagger hits the ring and attacks Cena, with Cole cheering him on.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock.  Cena kicks him out of the ring and picks Cole up for the Attitude Adjusment.  Swagger saves him and takes it himself.

Tonight, Edge & Christian vs. Del Rio & Clay!

Sin Cara vignette.

Layla (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Kaitlyn.  “Shucky ducky quack quack,” Booker T says.  I have no fucking clue.  I can make a good guess about how awful this match will be.  They lock up.  Kaitlyn shoves Layla, then pulls her off the ropes onto her back.  McCool gets on the apron.  Kaitlyn tussles with her.  Layla lands a kick and hits the Lay Out for the pin in 55 seconds.  Thank God.  They beat up Kaitlyn after the match.

Mysterio in action next.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Cole is back on commentary.  Ugh.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Drew McIntyre.  McIntyre boots Mysterio in the face early and keeps the heat going for a bit.  Mysterio hits a headscissors and goes for the 619.  McIntyre bails.  Mysterio gives him a drop toe hold into the apron.  McIntyre sends Mysterio into the post, then gives him a sidewalk slam into the apron.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre does a bow & arrow lock.  McIntyre tries to set up a superplex.  Mysterio knocks him down, hits the senton, then misses a high cross body.  McIntyre gets an Oklahoma Roll for 2.  Mysterio hits the 619 and a diving splash for the pin (4:30 shown).  Good little match.  Cody Rhodes comes out.  He wants an answer to his WrestleMania challenge.  Mysterio agrees to the match.

Next, Triple H responds to The Undertaker!

Triple H comes to the ring and introduces a video package on himself.  He cuts a long promo about his match with the Undertaker at WrestleMania.  Over the years, it’s become habit for me to zone out when he talks.

Matt Striker interviews Christian.  Edge comes in.  The main event is NEXT!

Houston!

Justin Roberts introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Brodus Clay, who is already in the ring, and Alberto Del Rio, who comes out in his car.

Alberto Del Rio & Brodus Clay vs. World Heavyweight Champion Edge & Christian.  Christian beats up Clay, who is a fucking awesome big man and sells like a big man should.  Christian goes for a tornado DDT, but Del Rio distracts him.  Clay hits a fall away slam.  On the outside, Del Rio sends Christian into the barricade.  Edge chases Del Rio, who bails into the crowd.  Clay hits an elbow drop on Christian for 2.  Clay slams Christian and tags in Del Rio.  Del Rio hits like a running stomp for 2.  Del Rio works Christian’s arm for a while.  Christian hits the diving European uppercut.  Clay and Edge tag in.  CLay catches a cross body and powerslams Edge for 2.  Edge gives Clay a drop toe hold into the bottom turnbuckle, knocks Del Rio off the apron, and goes for the spear.  Clay catches him with a clothesline, then sets him in the corner and goes for a running ass.  Edge avoids it.  Del Rio attack Edge.  Christian attacks Del Rio and backdrops him to the floor.  Christian plants Clay with a tornado DDT.  Edge comes off the top with a diving elbow drop on Clay for the pin in 5:49.  Very fun match.  Brodus Clay is wildly entertaining.

Besides the matches being really short, this was a pretty fun show.

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/7/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, recap of last week’s happenings.  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

The Undertaker comes to the ring and talks about his match with Triple H at WrestleMania.  They show a very cool video package of the 2 Undertaker/Shawn Michaels WrestleMania match.  He wants the match at Mania to be No Holds Barred, because apparently someone is going to die.  He says Triple H will “rest in peace” at WrestleMania.

Tonight, John Cena talks shit about The Rock!  Stone Cold Steve Austin returns to Raw!

Randy Orton brawls with the three remaining members of the New Nexus backstage.  Nexus get the better of it since it’s 3-on-1.  Punk sends Orton’s head into a wall repeatedly, then delivers the Go 2 Sleep.  Punk orders Otunga and Ryan to drag Orton to the ring.  Commercials.

The New Nexus are beating down Randy Orton in the ring.  Referees come out to break it up.  Otunga wants his match with Orton.  Orton drags himself up and agrees.

Randy Orton vs. David Otunga.  Otunga beats on Orton.  Otunga hits a fancy elbow drop for 2.  Orton hits a body slam for 2.  Otunga hits a spinebuster for 2.  Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere for the pin 1:59.  Otunga is banned from ringside at WrestleMania too.  Mason Ryan attacks Orton and drops him with a big boot.  He picks Orton up and gets dropped with an RKO.  CM Punk tries to hit the ring, but Orton scares him away, then punts Otunga in the head, then humps the mat.

Tonight, Cole reveals his special guest referee for WrestleMania.  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: John Cena overpowering The Miz to defeat Alex Riley in a Steel Cage Match last week, then getting dropped with the Skull Crushing Finale.

Dallas!

The Miz is apparently boycotting Raw tonight.

Christian and Alberto Del Rio (w/ Brodus Clay and introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez) come out for a match.  I have know idea why this happening on Raw, since they’re both Smackdown guys.  Del Rio sends his NXT rookie Brodus Clay to wrestle Christian instead.

Christian vs. Brodus Clay (w/ Alberto Del Rio).  Clay is a big fat dude.  He shoves Christian down and steps on his back.  Clay blocks the Killswitch and drops Christian with a punch.  Christian tries to fight back and gets dropped with a headbutt.  Clay huts some elbow drops for 2.  Clay cranks on Christian’s previously injured arm, then hits a fall away slam.  Christian avoids a big splash and hits an ineffective missile dropkick.  A second missile dropkick drops Clay.  Cover gets 2.  Clay hits a lariat for 2.  Christian avoids a powerslam and hits a tornado DDT for the pin in 2:41.  Good little match.  I rather like this Brodus Clay fellow.  Del Rio immediately attacks Christian.  Christian fights back.  Del Rio hits the Minoru Special.

Replay of The Rock’s live via satellite promo from last week.  Cena responds tonight!

Also tonight, Stone Cold returns!  Commercials.

Sin Cara vignette.

Newest Hall of Fame inductee is… Sunny!

Divas title match next.  Commercials!

WWE Rewind: One of the Bellas won a Battle Royal last week.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Eve Torres (c) (w/ Gail Kim) vs. Nikki Bella (w/ Brie Bella).  They lock up.  Eve throws Nikki across the ring, then rams her face into the turnbuckle, then throws her around some more.  Cover gets 2.  Nikki beats up Eve and throws her around.  Cover gets 2.  Nikki works the hair, of course.  Michael Cole shouts for them to get this over with, and for once I agree with the turd.  Cole babbles on and on and says “I’m the main event” 7,000 times.  Eve hits a flash kick.  The Bellas pull the switcheroo.  The referee catches them.  Eve throws Nikki back in and hits a neckbreaker drop for the pin in 3:07 to mercifully end this.  Cole reveals his referee next.  Commercials.

Snooki from Jersey Shore will be here next week.  UGH.  WWE, if you’re going to rip off TNA, rip off SOMETHING THAT ISN’T COMPLETELY FUCKING HORRIBLE AND MAKES ME WANT TO PUT A BULLET IN MY FUCKING HEAD.

Last week, Jack Swagger fucked Lawler’s ankle up while Cole humped the mat in joy.

Michael Cole is in the ring being a cocksucker.  He has a contract of the referee to sign.  Cole spazzes out for a while, then talks about his referee.  He fakes like it’s going to be Steve Austin, then introduces John Bradshaw Layfield!  I fully expected something stupid like Alex Riley, but JBL is pretty cool.  JBL shit talks the crowd, then puts over Cole.  Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out.  JBL and Cole bitch at him.  Cole hides behind JBL, of course.  Austin stuns JBL.  Cole scampers out of the ring.  Austin drinks beer.  Cole all but cries on commentary.  Austin pours beer on JBL, then signs the contract to become the referee for Lawler/Cole at Mania.  By this point, I think Cole IS crying.  Austin shakes Cole’s hand, then pours beer on him.  Yay!  Austin sarcastically wishes Cole good luck.  JBL gets  up.  Austin gives him a beer, toasts him, then stuns him again.  Yay again!  Jack Swagger comes out to watch Cole throw a temper tantrum.  This segment was awesome.

Another replay of Rock’s promo from last week.  Tonight, Cena talks shit back.  Commercials.

Michael Cole whines to Jack Swagger backstage.  Swagger says he’ll break Austin’s ankle.  Cole goes to take a shower.

Jerry Lawler, having been missing all show for no apparent reason, comes out to join Matthews for commentary.  They show Austin signing the contract and pouring beer on Cole again.  That never gets old.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. King Sheamus.  They show Sheamus getting beaten up by Triple H and losing to Evan Bourne last week.  Sheamus attacks Bryan and stomps him down in the corner.  Sheamus hits the Polish Hammer for 2.  Bryan dropkicks Sheamus to the apron, then dropkicks him off the apron.  Sheamus sells a leg injury and gets counted out in 1:12.  Sheamus throws a fit.  Well this was lame.  Sheamus says he’ll end his losing streak next week.  He challenges Bryan to put up the title against Sheamus’ job.  Bryan accepts.

Up next, Shawn Michaels speaks SOME MORE about Undertaker/Triple H.  Commercials.

CM Punk (w/ Mason Ryan) vs. R-Truth.  Truth gets a schoolboy for 2.  Punk throws Truth into 3 posts.  Truth tries to fight back, but Punk stomps him down.  Punk hits a snapmare for 2, then works Truth’s shoulder.  Truth makes his comeback.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep, but Truth counters and hits a jumping kick for 2.  Punk pulls Truth’s arm across the top rope, then takes him down, pounds the shoulder, and locks in the Anaconda Vice for the submission in 2:32.  Ryan gives Truth a powerslam afer the match.

More video of Shawn Michaels talking about the Undertaker/Triple H WrestleMania match.

Vickie Guerrero comes out.  Joy.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Snooki next week.  Kill me now.

Vickie Guerrero is in the ring being obnoxious.  She introduces Dolph Ziggler, who has been signed to Raw.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. John Morrison.  Vickie on commentary.  Ugh.  They lock up.  Ziggler gets a headlock and a shoulder block.  Morrison goes for a leap frog, but Ziggler dropkicks his knee.  Commercials.  Ziggler works a headlock.  Morrison avoids Ziggler in the corner and makes his comeback.  Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive for 2, as Ziggler gets a foot on the rope.  Ziggler rakes Morrison’s face and hits the Zig Zag for the pin in 5:33.  The less than half they showed of it was fine.  Vickie gets in the ring to celebrate.  iBooker dings in.  Lawler reads that Ziggler has been hired, but Vickie hasn’t.  Vickie will have to win her match next week against… Trish Stratus.  Security comes out to take Vickie out.  She’s pissed that Dolph doesn’t help her.

Another replay of Rock’s promo.  Cena responds next.  Commercials.

Dallas.

Yet another Rock reply.

John Cena comes out, talks for a bit, then raps about The Rock not actually showing up to do his shit talking.  He reveals a parody of The Rock’s shirt that says “I bring it via satellite.”  WWE Champion The Miz appears and clocks Cena with the title belt.  Twice.  Miz cuts a promo on Cena, then stares at the camera to talk shit to The Rock.  Miz gives Cena the Skull Crushing Finale, then the People’s Elbow.

Besides the Christian match and the Austin segment, I pretty much hated this show.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/4/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2011 by Grappleholic

Recap of last week’s happenings.  Tonight, the contract signing for Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio at WrestleMania!

Smackdown open.  We are TAPED from Cleveland, Ohio.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Booker T are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, The Undertaker returns to Smackdown!

World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out to cut a promo.  He talks about Alberto Del Rio.  He talks about how happy he is to be rid of Vickie Guerrero.  Drew McIntyre hits the ring and brawls with Edge.  Edge sends him to the floor.  Teddy Long comes out and thanks McIntyre for losing, causing Vickie to be fired.  He books Edge vs. McIntyre for right now.  Edge gets the crowd to chant “Thank you, Drew.”  Commercials.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Drew McIntyre.  Edge goes on the attack.  McIntyre gets the advantage and beats up Edge.  McIntyre works Edge’s injured arm.  McIntyre drops Edge with a big boot and sends him to the floor, then rams the injured arm into the announce table.  McIntyre yells that he’s going to end Edge’s career.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  McIntyre rips the tape off of Edge’s injured elbow and further abuses it.  Edge back body drops McIntyre on the floor.  Back inside, Edge goes up top and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge hits the spear, then pulls McIntyre up at 2.  Edge locks in the Edgeucator for the submission in 5:20.  Fine little match.

Tonight, Big Show vs. Kane!  The Undertaker!  Commercials!

WWE.com plug.

Cody Rhodes comes out to Rey Mysterio’s music wearing the mask he stole last week.  They show the ambush Cody and Dusty Rhodes set up against Mysterio last week.  Rhodes cuts a good promo and challenges Mysterio to a match at WrestleMania.

Kane encounters The Corre backstage.  They offer their help against Show tonight.

The Corre defend the tag titles against Santino & Kozlov NEXT!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater (c) of The Corre (w/ Wade Barrett & Ezekiel Jackson) vs. Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov.  Santino and Gabriel dance around, then lock up.  Santino throws Gabriel around.  Kozlov tags in and goes maulin’.  Santino and Kozlov clear the ring.  Commercials.  Kozlov has Slater in a headlock.  That’s odd.  The Corre cut Kozlov off.  Barrett gets in a cheap shot.  The Corre get the heat on Kozlov.  Santino gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Santino goes for the Cobra.  Barrett gets on the ring and takes the bullet.  Slater hits Santino with a reverse DDT for the pin in 7:29.  Meh.  The Corre celebrate.

Christian returns next week!  They show the attack by Alberto Del Rio that injured him last year and Christian’s return attack on Del Rio at Elimination Chamber.

Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez are backstage.  Someone is painting a portrait of Del Rio.

Up next, The Undertaker!  Commercials!

They show Triple H’s promo on Undertaker from Raw.

The Undertaker comes out to “Ain’t No Grave” by Johnny Cash, wish is an awesome choice for entrance music.  He talks about facing Triple H at WrestleMania.  Fine promo.

Tonight, the contract signing!  Kane vs. Show!  Commercials!

Cleveland!

Sin Cara is coming to WWE!

Beth Phoenix & Rosa Mendez vs. Michelle McCool & Layla.  They show the bickering between LayCool last week.  Beth and McCool lock up.  Beth attacks McCool’s allegedly injured foot.  Rosa tags in and does the same.  Layla tags in.  Rosa throws her down some, then swings at McCool.  Layla beats up Rosa.  McCool tags in and shoves Layla, then beats up Rosa.  Layla and Beth tag in.  Beth runs wild and hits a powerslam.  McCool saves.  The referee gets distracted by Rosa.  McCool kicks Beth with her loaded boot for the pin in 2:19.  This sucked.

Next, Show vs. Kane, which will also suck.  Commercials.

The Big Show vs. Kane.  They show Show fighting off The Corre last week.  Kane and Show brawl.  Double clothesline spot.  The Corre come out.  Barrett throws Kane a chair.  Kane hits Show with it to cause the DQ in 1:14.  The Corre attack Show.  Kane hammers Gabriel with the chair.  The Corre bail.  At least this was short.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Replay of Shawn Michaels speaking on the Undertaker/Triple H match.

Jack Swagger comes out.  They show Swagger attacking Jerry Lawler on Raw.  Cole gets in the ring to babble for a while.  He hypes his mystery guest referee and insults Cleveland.  Commercials.

Jack Swagger vs. JTG.  Swagger takes JTG down and humps him or something.  Cole is babbling a mile a minute.  Matthews and Booker look like they want to die.  Swagger hits some Vader Bombs and locks in the ankle lock for the win in 1:06.  Cole is so excited he humps the announce table.  He gets in the ring to hug Swagger.  I imagine Cole will obey Swagger’s music and “get down on his knees” to suck Swagger’s cock.

Video of the Rock/John Cena shit talking.

Edge is talking backstage.  He defaces Del Rio’s portrait, then kicks the painter in the ass.  Commercials.

Teddy Long is in the ring for the contract signing.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio has Ricardo sing the Mexican National Anthem.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge interrupts.  They banter for a while and sign the contract.  Teddy scampers out of the ring just before Edge and Del Rio start brawling.  Edge hits the Edgecution and goes for the spear.  Ricardo grabs his leg.  Del Rio beats up Edge and puts him in the cross armbreaker for a moment, then throws him to the floor and sends his injured arm into the barricade.  Del Rio puts a chair around Edge’s arm.  Christian makes the save and kicks Del Rio’s ass.  Del Rio tries to run away, but Christian chases him down and kicks his ass some more.  Referees break it up.

Okayish show.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 2/25/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 9, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, recap of last week’s happenings.

Teddy Long books Drew McIntyre & Vickie Guerrero vs. Edge & Kelly Kelly tonight, with Vickie being fired if her team loses.

Smackdown open.  Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, and Booker T are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kane.  Kane beats up Mysterio and hits a basement kick for 2.  Mysterio tries to do a headscissors, but Kane counters and hits an Oklahoma Stampede for 2.  Kane applies a body scissors.  Mysterio fights out… and runs into a tilt a whirl backbreaker.  Kane covers for 2.  Mysterio finally rallies and goes for the 619.  Kane bails.  Mysterio hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Kane avoids a dive off the apron and mows Mysterio down with a big boot.  Insta-commercials.  Kane hits a backbreaker.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane hits some elbow drops for 2.  Kane applies a bear hug.  Mysterio fights out.  Kane bear hugs him again and rams him into the corner.  Kane tries to set up a superplex, but Mysterio fights him off and hits the diving seated senton.  Mysterio makes his comeback and hits a buzzsaw kick for 2.  Mysterio comes off the top, but is met with a uppercut from Kane.  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio avoids the diving lariat, then counters the chokeslam and hits the 619.  Mysterio comes off the top again, but Kane catches him.  Mysterio turns it into a sunset flip for the pin (7:32 shown).  Boring match, but a fun closing stretch.  DUSTY RHODES comes out to the ring!  Mysterio is happy to see him.  They hug.  Insta-commercials.

Dusty Rhodes and Rey Mysterio are still in the ring.  Dusty apologizes for his son being a little bitch.  He calls out Cody to apologize himself.  Cody Rhodes comes out in a suit and a face mask.  He whines about Mysterio breaking his face.  Dusty talks about Cody losing focus.  It takes a while, because Dusty speaks with a slow, southern drawl.  He urges Cody to “make this right” and apologize.  Cody apologizes to his dad and Mysterio.  He and Mysterio shake hands.  Dusty and Mysterio hug again, the Dusty holds Mysterio so Cody can jump him.  A dastardly act of treason from the Dream!  Cody destroys Mysterio and smashes his face into stuff, then throws him into his Tron mirror and breaks it.  Cody steals Mysterio’s mask.  Referees cover Mysterio’s face with a towel, lucha-style.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Dusty and Cody Rhodes hug backstage.

Rosa Mendez vs. Layla (w/ Michelle McCool).  No entrances.  McCool is doing commentary.  Rosa shakes Layla’s head.  They do some shit and take a bump to the floor.  Rosa hits McCool.  McCool atacks Rosa to cause the DQ in 1:24.  Fucking pointless.  Layla is pissed at being screwed out of the win.  LayCool bicker, then leave together.  Ugh.

Tonight, Edge & Kelly vs. McIntyre & Vickie.

Tonight, a replay of John Cena’s promo from Raw.

Non-Title: Jack Swagger vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  Ugh, this match again.  They show the brawl between Kingston and Alberto Del Rio on Raw.  Swagger goes after Kofi’s injured arm.  Swagger hits a shoulder block for 2.  Kofi beats up Swagger in the corner.  The referee gets in the way.  Kofi keeps rolling and hits the Boom Drop.  Swagger attacks the arm again, then rams Kofi’s ankle into the post.  Kofi misses a kick.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock for the win in 2:45.  At least it was short this time.

Vickie Guerrero knocks on Teddy Long’s door.  She begs the door to reconsider.  The door is unresponsive.

Next, time wasted with Raw replays!

They replay John Cena’s promo from Raw.

Vickie Guerrero begs Chavo Guerrero Jr. for help.  Chavo’s sick of her shit too.

Wade Barrett vs. The Big Show.  The Corre are banned from ringside.  I think Show managed to hit Michael Cole with his ring jacket, which is awesome.  Show beats up Barrett.  Barrett jumps on Show’s back and applies a sleeper hold.  Show fades, but makes it to the ropes.  Barrett puts the boots to him.  Insta-commercials.  Barrett continues pounding on Show.  Show tries to come back, but Barrett dropkicks his knee and hits that sweet short DDT for 2.  Show throws Barrett out of the ring on the kick out.  Barrett comes back in and is thrown out again.  Barrett sends Show’s head into the post and goes back into the ring.  Show pulls him out, which should have started the count, and goes back in to win by count-out in 3:58.  The Corre come out to save Barrett from farther punishment and go after Show.  Show gets a steel chair to even the score and manages to crack Gabriel with it.  He’s sick of their shit.

Tonight, Edge & Kelly vs. McIntyre & Vickie.

Up next, a replay of the Undertaker/Triple H segment from Raw.

As threatened, they kill some time replaying the Undertaker/Triple H segment from Raw, this time with a fancy voice over.

The main event is NEXT!

Drew McIntyre & Vickie Guerrero vs. World Heavyweight Champion Edge & Kelly Kelly.  Kelly insists on starting with Vickie.  Joy.  Vickie tries a kick, but Kelly trips her and beats on her.  Vickie scampers away to make the tag.  McIntyre yells at Kelly.  Edge beats up McIntyre.  McIntyre beats up Edge.  Edge beats up McIntyre.  Vickie slaps Edge from the apron.  McIntyre boots Edge in the face and goes for the Future Shock.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge goes for the spear.  Vickie begs him not to.  Kelly spears Vickie.  Edge spears McIntyre for the pin in 5:36.  Teddy Long comes out and dances.  Insta-commercials.

Teddy Long, Edge, and Vickie Guerrero are in the ring.  Vickie pleads and screams for her job.  Teddy fires her anyway.  YAY!  She whines to Booker T, who laughs at her.  She hugs Michael Cole for comfort.  Cole promises to do what he can for her.  She begs the camera man for help.  She begs Edge for help.  He sings the goodbye song instead.  Heh.  She screams in anger.  Alberto Del Rio appears and attacks Edge!  Del Rio applies the dreaded cross ambreaker!  Del Rio stands tall as the show ends.

Pretty shitty show.  I would enjoy Vickie getting fired more if I wasn’t 1,247,000% sure she’ll be back making my ear drums bleed.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/21/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 3, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  The 2/21/11 mystery will be revealed in one hour!  Raw open, pryo and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Fresno!  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

John Cena comes out to cut a promo.  He talks about going to WrestleMania, then addresses the comments made about him by The Rock last week.  They show video of Rock making said comments.  Cena says he still has a degree in Thuganomics, so he goes old school and does a freestyle!  Fun stuff.

Cole is going to interview Jerry Lawler tonight.  Morrison vs. Punk is up next!

46 minutes until the big reveal!  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: CM Punk spraying stuff into John Morrison’s eyes, then kicking him in the head 2 weeks ago.

John Morrison vs. CM Punk.  Punk’s leg is cut up from a bump on the chamber floor last night.  Morrison goes on the attack.  Punk goes to work on Morrison’s knee and viciously tortures it.  Morrison escapes a hold and makes his comeback.  Morrison goes for the running knee, but Punk kicks him in the injured knee and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 2:51.  It was fine while it lasted.  After the match, Punk cuts a promo on Randy Orton.  Orton comes in through the crowd and attacks Punk.  Punk avoids the RKO and runs away.  The New Nexus comes out to protect Punk.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Justin Roberts introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  Kofi Kingston jumps Del Rio in the aisle.  Rodriguez gets involved, allowing Del Rio to get the jump on him.  Del Rio beats the hell out of Kofi and attacks his injured arm.  Del Rio locks in the cross armbreaker, and afterward sends the injured arm into the post again.  That dick!

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley are headed our way!

2/21/11 reveal in 23 minutes!  Commercials.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out to the stage.  Miz cuts a promo on The Rock.  iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that tonight, The Miz & John Cena will challenge for the tag titles.

Tonight, Cole interviews Lawler.  Commercials.

Fresno.

WWE All Stars Plug, featuring Abraham Lincoln vs. George Washington.  Seriously?

They show the TNA-style divas backstage brawl from last week.

The Bella Twins vs. WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres & Gail Kim.  Gail and one of the Bella start.  They do some shit.  Everyone brawls outside.  Gail beats up the Bella back in the ring.  Gail hits a cross body for 2.  The illegal Bella causes Gail to take a bump to the floor.  Eve and the other Bella tag in.  Eve runs wild.  Eve hits a standing moonsault for 2.  Eve gets a reverse cradle.  Bellas pull the switcheroo and the other Bella pins Eve with an inside cradle in 2:28.  This was crap.

2/21/11 reveal in 3 minutes!  Commercials!

The clock counts down.  The video reveals The Undertaker, who then comes out to the ring.  Before he can speak, Triple H comes out.  Fucking ugh.  After H poses for a while, they look at each other and at the WrestleMania sign.  Undertaker smiles, teases leaving, then turns back to give Triple H the throat slash.  Triple H responds with the “Suck it.”  Well, there ya go.  Commercials.

WrestleMania is 41 days away!

Moments ago, The Undertaker and Triple H looked at each other.

King Sheamus vs. Mark Henry.  Sheamus goes on the attack.  Henry bear hugs him, then throws him out of the ring.  Henry throws him back inside.  Sheamus begs off, then cheap shots Henry.  Sheamus hits the Polish Hammer for 2, then wails on Henry some more.  Sheamus hits his slingshot shoulder block for 2.  Henry sandwiches Sheamus into the corner and makes his comeback with clotheslines and headbutts.  Sheamus avoids a big splash and kicks Henry in the head.  Sheamus exposes a turnbuckle.  Henry splashes him into it, then hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin in 3:49.  Well that’s kind of an upset.

Tonight, Miz & Cena vs. The Corre for the tag titles!  Commercials!

Tough Enough hype.

Daniel Bryan and Gail Kim chat backstage.  Sheamus talks shit to Bryan.  Bryan stares him down.  Sheamus leaves.

Latest inductee for the Hall of Fame Class of 2011: “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan!

Michael Cole gets in the ring and puts himself over.  He’ll interview Jerry Lawler next.  Commercials.

Michael Cole introduces Jerry “The King” Lawler.  Cole taunts Lawler about losing to The Miz, then douches it up big time and talks about the death of Lawler’s mother.  Lawler grabs Cole and threatens to kick his ass if he ever talks about his mother again.  He challenges Cole to a match at WrestleMania!  Cole says no.  Lawler calls him a coward.  Cole throws water in Lawler’s face, then runs out of the arena.

The Corre is headed our way!  Commercials!

Moments ago, Michael Cole ran away like a little bitch.

Lawler has joined Matthews on commentary.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater (c) of The Corre (w/ Wade Barrett & Ezekiel Jackson) vs. WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) & John Cena.  Miz and Slater lock up and wrestle a bit.  Gabriel tags in and is met with a drop toe hold.  Miz beats up Gabriel and tags in Cena.  Cena runs wild on Gabriel for a bit.  Miz requests the tag and Cena obliges.  Miz hits the corner clothesline and the Skull Crushing Finale on Gabriel for the pin in 3:11.  Miz & Cena win the tag titles!  Miz celebrates as Cena looks on in surprise.  Cena joins in on the celebration.  Barrett says The Corre is invoking their rematch clause RIGHT NOW!  iBooker dings in.  Matthews reads that it’s on!

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) & John Cena (c) vs. Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Corre (w/ Wade Barrett & Ezekiel Jackson).  Bell, commercials.  Back to action as Miz works over Gabriel.  This match is already longer than the first one and it’s been on commercials the whole time.  Cena and Slater tag in and go at it.  Cena hits a cross body block for 2.  Miz tags in and beats up Slater.  Zeke trips Miz from the outside, allowing Slater to gain the advantage.  Slater sends Miz outside.  Barrett and Zeke convince Riley to not get involved, but Gabriel gets in some cheap shots behind the referee’s back.  Back inside, The Corre go to work on Miz.  Barrett cheap shots Miz behind the referee’s back.  Miz continues to play the de facto face in peril.  Slater hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Gabriel tags in and continues the beating.  Miz hits the backbreaker/neckbreaker, but Slater tags in and cuts him off from making the tag.  The Corre keep the heat going on Miz.  Cena gets the hot tag and runs wild.  He goes for the Attitude Adjustment on Slater, but Miz gives Cena the Skull Crushing Finale!  Slater pins Miz 11:10 to regain the tag titles.

Fairly mediocre show, but not awful.

WWE Elimination Chamber 2011

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Oakland, California!  Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, and Booker T are the announcers.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio cuts a promo about how he’ll win the title at WrestleMania.  He’s interrupted by his opponent, Kofi Kingston.

Non-Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  They lock up.  Kofi backs Del Rio into the corner.  Del Rio cowers for safety in the ropes.  I think I hear a “DEL RIO!” chant.  Del Rio gets the advantage and goes to work.  Kofi rallies and Del Rio hides in the ropes again, then bails.  Ricardo fans Del Rio with his scarf.  Awesome.  Kofi goes after Del Rio on the outside and brings him back in.  Kofi beats up Del Rio.  Booker is kind of obnoxious on commentary.  Kofi tries to go up top and gets bumped to the floor.  Del Rio sends Kofi into the steps and throws him back into the ring.  Cover gets 2.  Del Rio applies a body scissors.  Kofi fights out.  Del Rio throws him down and covers for 2.  Del Rio pounds on Kofi.  Del Rio hits a backdrop suplex for 2, then goes back to the body scissors.  Kofi escapes again and hits a rebound flying forearm.  They trade blows.  Kofi makes his comeback and hits the Boom Drop.  Kofi goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Del Rio avoids it, then avoids Kofi in the corner.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick and goes for the diving cross body.  Del Rio catches him midair with knees for 2.  Del Rio goes for a superplex, but Kofi fights him off and hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Del Rio hits a swank gut buster for 2.  Kofi catches Del Rio with a DDT and covers.  Ricardo distracts the referee and Kofi.  Del Rio goes for the Minoru Special, but Kofi counters into the S.O.S. for 2.  Del Rio hits a swank hangman’s neckbreaker and follows with the Minoru Special.  Kofi tries to fight it, but is forced to submit in 10:29.  Good match.

Randy Orton stalks around backstage.  This is heavily discussed by the announcers.

Todd Grisham interviews World Heavyweight Champion Edge.  Drew McIntyre interrupts to bitch at him about Kelly Kelly being fired.  McIntyre says he’ll win the title tonight.  Edge takes him about as seriously as I do.

Elimination Chamber song!

Elimination Chamber hype video.

Entrances for the Smackdown Chamber Match.  Teddy Long comes out to introduce the replacement for the recently fired Dolph Ziggler, The Big Show!

Elimination Chamber Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs. Kane vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Wade Barrett vs. The Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Edge and Mysterio start.  Edge wins the lock up, then they trade blows.  Edge hits a flapjack for 2.  Mysterio hits a flying headscissors.    Edge back body drops Mysterio out of the ring and onto the steel floor.  Ouch.  Mysterio taunts McIntyre into punching his pod, then hits Edge with a flying move that I totally missed because I was typing.  Shit.  I bet it was a sweet Frankensteiner, too.  Cover gets 2.  Edge sends Mysterio into the side of the chamber and puts the boots to him.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Mysterio drop toe holds Edge into the turnbuckles.  Barrett enters the match and goes to work on Mysterio.  Edge launches Mysterio into a seated senton on Barrett, then slides Mysterio out of the ring.  Barrett drops Edge for 2.  Barrett throws Mysterio back into the ring and hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  Barrett continues to beat up Mysterio and Edge.  Edge low bridges Barrett out of the ring.  Mysterio comes back to life and dropkicks Edge.  He goes up top, but Barrett cuts him off and goes for the Wasteland.  Mysterio grabs onto the cage to save himelf and tries to climb up.  Barrett tries a powerbomb, but Mysterio ranas him into the ring.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Edge mows him down with a big boot for 2.  Edge stomps Barrett in the corner.  Kane enters the match and runs wild.  Everybody takes turns getting near falls.  Edge, Mysterio, and Barrett do a double clothesline spot.  Kane clears the ring and beats up Barrett on the outside.  Mysterio goes up top, but gets punched by Kane and falls into the tree of woe.  Edge hits Mysterio with a dropkick for 2.  Kane kicks ass some more.  McIntyre enters the match and immediately throws Mysterio like a lawn dart into a pod, breaking the class.  McIntyre and Barrett beat up Kane.  McIntyre turns on Barrett and throws him through the glass too.  McIntyre is vicious tonight!  He goes to work on Edge, at whom he’s good and pissed off.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge goes to spear McIntyre, but gets caught by Edge.  Lots of counters.  Mysterio misses the 619 on Kane.  Kane throws Mysterio into the post.  Ouch.  Kane counters the Future Shock and back body drops McIntyre into Kane.  Kane and Edge boot each other down.  Big Show enters the match and runs wild on everyone except for Barrett, who cowers away.  Show gets hold of him and throws him through the class.  They’re going to have to replace all of that glass for the other chamber match.  Show beats the shit out of Barrett and kills him with the KO punch for the pin in 18:50.  Mysterio is on top of a pod.  Kane hits Show with a diving lariat.  Edge hits Show with a diving elbow drop for 2.  McIntyre hits Show with the Future Shock for 2.  Mysterio comes off of the pod with the seated senton for 2.  Kane boots Show.  Mysterio hits the 619.  Edge spears Show.  Kane decks Edge and Mysterio, then chokeslams Show for the pin in 20:54.  McIntyre comes off the top, but Kane catches him and chokeslams him for the pin in 21:09.  Edge and Mysterio try to work together, but Kane kicks their asses.  Mysterio plants Kane with a swinging DDT for 2.  Mysterio hits a springboard enzui leg drop for 2.  Mysterio hits the 619 and goes for the diving senton.  Kane catches him.  Edge spears both of them together and pins Kane in 22:51.  Kane chokeslams Mysterio and Edge before leaving.  They eventually make it up.  Mysterio avoids the spear and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Edge rolls through a rebound cross body for 2.  Mysterio hits the flip bulldog for 2.  Mysterio goes up top.  Edge tries to cut him off.  Mysterio headbutts him down and tries a rana.  Edge catches him with a sit-out powerbomb for 2.  Edge tries another powerbomb, but Mysterio hits a rana and goes for the 619.  Edge catches his legs and locks in the Edgecator!  Mysterio turns it into a cradle for 2.  Mysterio avoids the spear.  Edge rallies and hits it on the second try, but Mysterio kicks out!  Mysterio hits the 619 and the springboard splash.  Edge kicks out at 2!  Mysterio hits a headscissors and another 619.  He comes off  the top, but Edge cuts him down midair with a spear for the pin in 31:30.  Edge retains the title.  Good match, especially the final Edge/Mysterio segment.  Alberto Del Rio appears and attacks Edge!  Del Rio locks on the cross armbreaker.  CHRISTIAN returns to make the save~!  Christian beats the piss out of Del Rio in revenge for Del Rio putting him out of action several months ago.  Christian hits the Killswitch!  After Christian leaves, Edge spears Del Rio.

WrestleMania hype video.

Matt Striker interviews Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Oakland!

Booker T goes into the ring to introduce a special guest, someone who will be a trainer on Tough Enough: Trish Stratus!  They banter a bit.  She rips off The Rock’s “Finally” catchphrase and Booker’s “Sucka,” which prompts Booker to bust out the “She didn’t say that.”  Booker asks why she’s here tonight.  She says she’s here to see Lawler win the title.  Booker finishes with the “Can you dig that?”  Well, this was pretty pointless.

The Chaperone trailer.  Yes, they’re wasting PPV time with this shit.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (c) (w/ Tamina) vs. Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Corre (w/ Ezekiel Jackson).  Kozlov and Santino throw Slater around a bit.  Slater cuts Santino off.  Corre work over Santino.  Kozlov tags in and throws Gabriel around.  Gabriel drops Kozlov with a head kick and tags in Slater.  Slater hits a wonky slingshot splash for 2.  Corre get the heat on Kozlov.  Santino gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Santino hits the Cobra on Gabriel, then gets a 2 count on Slater.  Corre cut off Santino.  Santino avoids an Eddie hilo from Gabriel and tags in Kozlov.  Kozlov smashes Gabriel and pummels him with headbutts.  Slater makes a blind tag and gives Kozlov a reverse DDT.  Gabriel tags in and hits the 450 splash on Kozlov for the pin in 5:10.  This sucked, but it got the belts off of Santino and Kozlov, so it accomplished something.

Hall of Fame hype video.

Todd Grisham interviews WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley).

Vickie Guerrero comes out to be sad and obnoxious.  She whines about Dolph Ziggler being fired from Smackdown.  Teddy Long comes out and tells her the stuff it.  Vickie begs him to rehire Dolph.  Teddy says he is in a hiring mood.  Vickie is happy until Teddy reveals that he’s not hiring Dolph, he’s rehired Kelly Kelly.  Bad call, Teddy.  Kelly goes after Vickie, who tries running away, then tries to make friends.  Kelly kicks her ass.  Michelle McCool and Layla attack Kelly.  Trish Stratus comes and runs off LayCool.  They sneak back and cheap shot her.  Trish kicks their asses.  McCool takes a Chick Kick.  Layla gets a horribly botches Stratusphere.  Trish ends with a double Stratusfaction.  Trish and Kelly celebrate.

Miz/Lawler hype video.

WWE Championship Match: The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler.  They lock up.  Lawler gets a schoolboy for 2.  Miz beats on Lawler.  Lawler gets a backslide for 2.  Lawler gets an inside cradle for 2.  Miz grabs a side headlock and hits a shoulder block.  Lawler hits a short lariat for 2.  Lawler hits a shoulder block and a cross body block for 2.  Lawler lands some fucking great punches, then clotheslines Miz out of the ring.  Riley distracts Lawler, allowing Miz to send him into the post.  Miz puts Lawler on the apron and hits a knee lift.  Cover gets 2.  Miz goes to work on Lawler.  Riley gets in a cheap shot behind the referee’s back.  Cover gets 2.  Miz hits the running clothesline to the corner, then goes up top.  Lawler cuts him off and hits a superplex that was damn near a brainbuster for 2.  They trade punches.  That’s a game Miz is not going to win.  Lawler lands a couple of dropkicks and hits a fist drop for 2.  Riley trips Lawler behind the referee’s back.  The referee tells Riley to get the F out!  Lawler avoids Miz in the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Lawler goes for the piledriver!  Miz slips out and boots Lawler in the face for 2.  Lawler turns it into a crucifix hold for 2!  Lawler low bridges Miz out of the ring.  Cole yells at Lawler.  Miz takes advantage of the distraction and rams Lawler’s head into the announce table.  Lawler avoids it the second time and smashes Miz’s face into the table, then throws him over the table into Cole!  Back inside, Lawler goes up top and hits a diving punch for 2.  At least Cole has shut the hell up for a bit.  Lawler counters the Skull Crushing Finale.  Miz hits the backbreaker.  Lawler counts the neckbreaker that follows and hits a DDT!  Lawler goes up top and lowers the strap!  Diving fist drop!  Miz gets his foot on the bottom rope at 2.  Lawler goes for the piledriver, but Miz backdrops him and lands on top for 2.  Lawler turns it into a sunset flip for 2.  Miz kicks Lawler in the head and hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 12:09.  Very good match.  Cole gets in the ring to celebrate with Miz.  After they leave, Lawler gets a much deserved standing ovation.

2/21/11!  That’s tomorrow!  What’s gonna happen?

John Cena eats Fruity Pebbles backstage.  Todd Grisham comes in to ask him about The Rock, but he no-sells it and talks about the Elimination Chamber.  He says he fells “Yabba dabba delicious.”  Seriously.

Matt Striker interview CM Punk.

Another WrestleMania hype video.  As usual, the theme song is fucking horrible.

Highlights of the Smackdown Chamber match from earlier tonight.

Elimination Chamber Match to determine the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. R-Truth vs. CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. King Sheamus vs. John Morrison.  Sheamus and Morrison lock up.  Sheamus lands a shoulder block.  Sheamus takes Morrison down with a side headlock takeover a few times, then slaps Morrison.  Morrison takes him down and pounds on him.  Sheamus rolls to the outside.  Morrison hits him with a dive.  Morrison tries the Flying Chuck, misses, and hits it off of the cage.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus drops Morrison with a short lariat and commences to putting a beating on him.  Morrison drops Sheamus with a kick and goes for the Starship Pain, but Sheamus recovers and pushes him to the outside.  Sheamus beats on Morrison.  Orton enters the match and runs wild.  Orton throws Morrison through one of the pods.  So we’re playing that game again, are we.  Orton gives Sheamus the DDT OF MURDER on the steel floor!  Orton puts the boots to his downed opponents.  Orton hits a superplex on Morrison for 2.  Orton hits a superplex on Sheamus for 2.  Miz and Riley are shown watching backstage.  Punk enters the match, but gets stuck in the door because it won’t open.  Orton is standing right there waiting.  He says “fuck it” and starts pounding on him.  Orton throws Punk into the ring and hits the RKO for the pin in 9:00.  iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that Punk didn’t have a fair chance, so he’s back in the match and allowed to reenter his pod for some reason.  Orton is pissed and beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for 2.  Morrison beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus sends him outside and poses.  He sets up Orton for the Razor’s Edge, but Orton slips out and goes for the RKO.  Sheamus counters and avoids the brogue kick.  Morrison drops Orton with the Flying Chuck.  Sheamus beats up Morrison.  Cena enters the match and is immediately attacked in his pod by Sheamus.  Cena rallies and tries to give Morrison the Attitude Adjustment out of the ring.  Morrison lands on his feet.  A minute later, Cena does it again and gets it right.  Sheamus hits Cena and Morrison with a slingshot shoulder block to the outside.  Orton and Sheamus brawl.  Orton hits a knee drop for 2.  Sheamus drops Orton and throws Cena and Morrison back into the ring.  R-Truth enters the match and is met by Sheamus.  Truth avoids the shot and beats down Sheamus in the pod.  Sheamus takes a hip toss onto the floor, which had to suck.  Truth runs wild in the ring.  Sheamus comes back in and kills Truth with the brogue kick for the pin in 17:32.  Morrison beats on Sheamus.  Orton throws Morrison through the glass again.  Orton and Cena brawl.  Orton drops him with a dropkick for 2.  Punk enters the match again.  Orton lies in wait.  Cena tries to give Orton the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton counters with the RKO on the floor.  Sheamus hits Orton with the brogue kick.  Punk drops Sheamus with a high kick, then covers Orton for 2.  In the ring, Punk humps the mat to mock Orton, then hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 21:34.  Punk runs around attack people until he’s dropped by Sheamus.  Morrison beats up Sheamus and climbs to the top of a pod.  Sheamus trips him and climps up there with him for some damn reason.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Morrison counters and kicks him down to the mat.  Morrison climbs along the roof of the cage and comes down onto Sheamus with a cross body for the pin in 25:18.  Cena makes his comeback on Punk and goes for the Attitude Adjustment on the floor.  Morrison dives onto both of them to prevent that from happening.  Punk covers Cena for 2.  Cena avoids the running knee strike and Morrison puts himself through the glass.  He really likes going through that glass.  Punk goes to work on Cena and locks in a figure-four headscissors.  Cena stands up with Punk on his shoulders.  Morrison comes off the top rope with a Doomsday Device clothesline!  Cover gets 2.  Morrison covers Cena for 2 for good measure.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Morrison.  Punk kills Cena with a high kick.  Punk dives to the outside to take out Cena.  Cover gets 2.  Punk catapults Cena into one of the pods.  He tries to do the same to Morrison, who catches himself and hits the Flying Chuck off the cage.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain, but Punk avoids it and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 32:52.  Cena gives Punk the Attitude Adjustment onto the floor for the pin in 33:12.  Enjoyable match.

Fun, enjoyable, solid show.