Archive for Against All Odds

TNA Against All Odds 2011

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2011 by Grappleholic

Very cool opening video, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  They talk about what’s going down tonight and announce that Generation Me couldn’t make it due to travel issues, so they’re out of the Three-Way #1 Contender Match with Robbie E.

Robbie E. and Cookie come out.  Robbie blathers like a retard.  Since Gen Me couldn’t make it, he’s #1 Contender by default.  He wants the referee to count them out and raise his hand in victory.  The referee rings the bell and counts them out.  Robbie wins by forfeit.  He’s going to get his title shot tonight, and apparently doesn’t know it.  Kazarian comes out to inform him.  He calls Cookie a filthy garden gnome, so that’s awesome.  Robbie is upset to be getting a title shot for some reason.  Kazarian attacks Robbie and throws him into the ring.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Kazarian (c) vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie).  Kazarian beats up Robbie.  Yay!  Cookie tries to trip Kazarian, but he stomps her hand.  Kazarian hits a spin kick for 2.  Kazarian kicks Robbie off the apron and goes up top.  Cookie tries to fuck with him.  Kazarian grabs her.  Robbie drops Kazarian and makes him face plant into the steps.  Robbie ramps Kazarian’s arm into the steps for good measure.  Back inside, Kazarian tries to rally and eats a boot.  Robbie hits a diving fist drop for 2.  Cookie chokes Kazarian behind the referee’s back.  Robbie hits a side Russian leg sweep or something similar for 2.  Robbie ground Kazarian with a rear chin lock.  Kazarian avoids Robbie in the corner and hits a springboard dropkick.  Kazarian makes his comeback and hits a rebound leg drop for 2.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver, but Robbie counters and goes for the neckbreaker.  They trade cradles.  Kazarian hits the Axe Guillotine Driver (which apparently he calls the Fade To Black) for the pin in 7:11.  Okay match.

Christy Hemme interviews Scott Steiner and TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  Typical Steiner rambling.  He massages Roode’s shoulders and Roode tries to translate what he said into English.

AJ Styles comes out to join Tenay and Taz for commentary.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Rob Terry, Gunner, & Murphy of Immortal vs. Scott Steiner & TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  Gunner and Murphy finally have wrestling gear.  Steiner and Gunner lock up.  Steiner shoulder blocks him, then chops the shit out of him.  Gunner tries to do something cute and gets overhead suplexed.  Murphy comes in and gets one for himself.  Terry tags in and poses.  Steiner is unimpressed.  Beer Money distracts the referee.  Steiner kicks Terry square in the balls and lands a STEINER LINE~!, then drops an elbow and does some push ups.  Murphy tags and locks up with Steiner.  Storm tags in and beats up Murphy.  Storm hits a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Murphy tags in.  Storm avoids a kick and hits a knee to the face and a neckbreaker for 1.  Gunner tries to through Storm out of the ring.  Storm skins the cat back in and hits a flurry of offense.  Storm lands corner punches.  The heels cut Storm off and work him over.  Storm hits Terry with a Lung Blower.  Gunner tries to cut Storm off again, but Storm kicks him away and makes the hot tag to Roode.  Roode wins wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Terry accidentally hits Murphy.  BEER!  MONEY! double suplex on Terry.  Gunner decks Storm.  Roode hits the spinebuster on Gunner, then Murphy.  Terry tries to chokeslam Roode, but Roode counters and gives him a spinebuster too.  Gunner goes up top.  Roode cuts him and tags in Steiner.  FRANKENSTEINER OFF THE TOP ROPE!  Steiner pins Gunner in 10:12.  Fun match!

Christy Hemme interviews Brother Devon, who has decided that his sons aren’t going to be in the match.

Pope/Joe video package.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe.  Pope has “Pope’s Gonna Kill You” on the back of his trunks.  He bails because he’s a pussy.  Pope finally kicks Joe in the gut and attacks.  Joe goes for the choke.  Pope escapes and bails again.  Pope tries to leave, but Okato (the former Kazuchika Okada) appears and forces Pope back to ringside.  He has a Kato mask on him.  Joe hits an elbow suicida and throws Pope back into the ring.  Pope rallies, hits a suplex, and poses.  Joe no sells and kicks his ass.  Joe hits the face wash in the corner.  Pope pokes Joe in the eyes to regain the initiative and puts a hurting on Joe.  Joe rallies and makes his comeback.  Senton splash gets 2.  Snap powerslam gets 2.  Pope lands a knee to the face and removes a turnbuckle pad.  Joe avoids having his face rammed into the exposed buckle.  Pope gets a reverse cradle, but Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch.  Pope immediately submits in 8:32.  It was okay.  Pope applauds Joe and offers to shake his hand.  Joe refuses.  Pope cheap shots him, drops Okato, and rams Joe’s head into the exposed turnbuckle.  Pope hits the Elijah Express.  Joe is bleeding and pissed off.  Pope runs away.

Christy Hemme interviews Mickie James.

Mickie James/Madison Rayne hype video.

Last Knockout Standing Match for the TNA Knockouts Championship: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Mickie James.  Madison goes for a punch with the loaded glove, which is perfectly legal.  Mickie avoids the shot and beats her up.  They go outside and Madison punches the post.  Mickie hits her head on the steps and makes it up at about 4.  Back inside, they counter each others’ finish.  They fight on the ramp.  Madison clubs Mickie in the back with the loaded glove and goes to work on her back.  Mickie reverses Madison into the post.  Back in the ring, Madison hits her finish.  Mickie recovers and rallies.  They brawl outside.  Madison crawls under the ring.  Mickie follows.  They both come out the other side.  That was utterly pointless.  Mickie accidentally punches the steps.  Mickie kicks her.  Mickie throws Madison back into the ring to break the count, then goes up top.  Madison cuts her off and throws her to the floor.  Mickie makes it up at 9.  Mickie pulls Madison’s arm across the top rope, then hits the diving Thesz press.  Mickie sort of hits the Mick Kick, then takes Madison’s glove and puts it on.  Tara runs in.  Mickie decks her with the loaded glove.  Madison decks Mickie with brass knuckles and goes for the pin.  Idiot.  10 count.  Madison retains in 8:29.  This wasn’t any good.

Jeff Hardy talks backstage, then paints lines on his face.

Matt Morgan comes out and calls out Hernandez.  Hernandez comes out.  Hernandez is the heel now, despite the fact that Morgan is the one who kicked Hernandez’s head into the post last year.  They banter.  Hernandez is turning this into a racial issue.  He kicks Morgan in the balls and gives him an Attitude Adjustment, of all things.  Hernandez also now walks like a retard who thinks he’s a bad ass.

Christy Hemme interviews Matt Hardy, whose nickname is now “Cold Blood.”

Matt Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam.  They lock up.  Hardy powers RVD into the corner.  The ref gets between them.  They trade punches.  RVD’s singlet is really cool looking tonight.  Hardy blocks the monkey flip and sends RVD’s face into the turnbuckle, then drops him with a clothesline.  Hardy pounds on RVD in the corner.  RVD lands a jump kick.  Hardy bails.  RVD goes for an Asai moonsault, but Hardy pulls him down and makes his face plant into the apron.  Hardy tries to suplex RVD into the barricade, but RVD turns it into a front suplex, then hits the MOTHERFUCKING GUARDAIL LEG DROP~!  Back inside, Hardy hits a DDT for 2.  RVD rolls out of the ring.  Hardy sends RVD into the barricade again.  Back inside, Hardy hits an enzui leg drop for 2.  Hardy beats on RVD.  Hardy locks in a rolling butterfly lock.  RVD gets a foot on the rope.  Matt humps RVD.  I don’t know why either.  Hardy hits the bottom rope decapitator for 2.  Hardy applies a full nelson.  RVD fights out.  Hardy hits a sleeper drop for 2.  Stupid alternating chants.  Hardy applies a cravat hold.  He’s breaking out all kinds of new shit tonight.  Hardy drops RVD and goes up top.  RVD catches him midair with a thrust kick.  RVD makes his comeback.  Hardy avoids the Rolling Thunder, but RVD hits a standing moonsault for 2.  RVD kicks Hardy in the face, hits a front slam, and follows with the split-legged moonsault for 2.  Hardy ducks a kick and hits the Side Effect for 2.  RVD counters the Twist of Hate and drops Hardy with a spin kick.  RVD goes up top.  Hardy cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  They fight over it for a while.  Hardy back body drops RVD off the top rope, then goes for a moonsault press.  RVD avoids it and hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 13:20.  Decent match.  The best thing on the show so far, which is kind of sad.

Christy Hemme interviews Bully Ray, who bullies her, then talks shit about Devon’s kids.

Ray/Devon hype video.

Street Fight: Bully Ray vs. Brother Devon.  Ray tries to jump Devon in the aisle with a chain, but Devon kicks his ass all over ringside.  Devon throws Ray into the ring and brings in some plunder.  Devon lights Bully up with a Singapore cane.  Ray begs off, then cheap shots Devon.  Devon canes him in the head.  Awesome.  Devon’s sons come out.  He orders them to the back.  Ray hits Devon in the back with a chair, then spits on his sons again.  Ray beats Devon with weapons and puts his neck in a chair.  The kids attack.  Ray threatens them with the chain.  Devon wakes up and makes his comeback.  Devon hits a back body drop and Bubba audibly says “Oh shit!”  Devon’s son Terrell hits Ray with a trash can.  Terrence and Terrell hold Bubba’s legs open so Devon can hit the Wassup headbutt.  Devon & sons get the table.  Devon sets up the table.  Ray hits him in the balls and handcuffs him to the turnbuckle.  Terrence and Terrell go to help their dad.  Ray cold cocks Terrence.  Terrell kicks Bubba’s ass to a BIG pop.  Bubba clotheslines Terrell to death and pins him in 9:23, which counts for some reason.  Ray spits in Devon’s face and talks shit to him.  He teases hitting Devon with a chair.  Devon calls for useless security.  Ray puts the chair down, then powerbombs Terrence through the table.  Ray leaves.  Devon finally gets cut free so he can check on his kids.  Taz talks in his low, serious voice.  Terrence gets stretchered out while Devon carries Terrell.  Good way to continue the feud.

Jeremy Borash interviews Jeff and Karen Jarrett.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.

Jarrett/Angle hype video.

Jeff Jarrett (w/ Karen Jarrett) vs. Kurt Angle.  They lock up.  Angle pushes Jarrett into the corner.  Referee forces a break.  Angle takes Jarrett down with a side headlock takeover.  Jarrett gets free and grabs a side headlock.  Angle shoves him away, then invites him to reapply the hold.  Jarrett does, and Angle gives him a backdrop suplex.  They go into an awesome chain wrestling sequence.  Angle hits a snap suplex for 2.  Angle pounds on Jarrett and throws him out of the ring.  He invites Karen over to watch him punch Jeff in the face.  Back inside, Angle hits an elbow smash for 2.  Jarrett avoids Angle’s charge in the corner and Angle spears the most, then falls out of the ring.  Jarrett throws Angle’s injured shoulder into the barricade twice, then takes him back inside to work him over.  Jarrett goes up top, but Angle springs up and suplexes him down in classic Angle fashion.  Angle lands some clotheslines and hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Angle goes for a German, but Jarrett switches around.  Angle rolls through and goes for the ankle lock.  Jarrett escapes.  Angle hits the rolling Germans for 2.  Jarrett lands an enzuigiri and goes for the Stroke.  Angle counters into the ankle lock.  Jarrett rolls through, then charges and crotches himself on the ropes.  Angle hits the Angle Slam.  Karen distracts the referee.  Jarrett hits Angle in the balls.  Jarrett hits the Stroke for the pi…NO!  Angle kicks out!  Jarrett goes for the Stroke again.  Angle pushes Jarrett away, bumping the ref in the process.  Jarrett uses a distraction from Karen to Pearl Harbor Angle on the outside and send him repeatedly into the steps.  Back inside, Jarrett tries to use a chair, but Angle takes it away.  The referee wakes up to take the chair from Angle.  Jarrett gets a schoolboy for 2.  Angle hits an Exploder for 2.  Angle goes up top.  Karen distracts him.  Jarrett sort of hits the Stroke off the middle rope for 2.  Angle hits a German suplex and drops the straps.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Jarrett grabs Karen’s hands and pulls her into the ring.  Jarrett taps while the referee is busy with Karen.  Jarrett clocks Angle with a chair behind the referee’s back and gets the pi…NO!  Angle kicked out again!  Angle gets an inside cradle for 2.  Jarrett squashes a sunset flip and gets a relatively clean pin in 16:18.  Hell of a match.  Angle is very dejected.  He takes his boots off and leaves them in the ring, which in amateur wrestling signifies retirement.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson.

Anderson/Hardy hype video.

Tale of the Tape.

Ladder Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Ken Anderson (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  Entrances and intros.  Hebner and Bischoff’s kid are both referees.  That may come into play later.  Borash is a nice dude, but he’s a shitty ring announcer.  They talk.  Hardy spits in Anderson’s face.  Anderson kicks his ass.  Hardy bails and goes after his fugly neon ladder.  They brawl at ringside.  Anderson sends Hardy crashing into the ladder, then drives Hardy into the side of the ring with another ladder.  Back inside, Hardy hits a neckbreaker onto a ladder.  Hardy climbs for his fugly belt, but Anderson stops him and hits a neckbreaker.  Anderson climbs for the belt, but Hardy stops him and kicks him into the corner.  Hardy hits a corner dropkick.  Hardy dropkicks a ladder into Anderson’s balls.  Fucking ow.  Anderson hits a side Russian leg sweep onto the ladder.  Ouch again.  Anderson brings in a second ladder and climbs for the belt.  Hardy climbs up the other side.  They fight at the top of the ladder.  Hardy hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the ladder!  Hardy slams Anderson and goes for his trademark “off the top rope, over the ladder leg drop.”  Anderson avoids it.  Hardy back body drops Anderson onto the ladder in the corner.  Ouch.  Hardy sets a ladder upside down for some reason, then beats on Anderson.  They go outside again.  Hardy tries to hit Anderson with the fugly neon ladder, but Anderson avoids it and sends it into Hardy’s face.  Hardy sends Anderson into the steps, injuring his wrist.  Hardy uses the steps to hit the Whisper In The Wind against the barricade.  Back inside, Hardy tries to front suplex Hardy into the upside down ladder.  Anderson counters, suplexes Hardy sort of at the ladder, and knocks the whole mess over.  Anderson climbs for the belt.  Hardy pulls him off and hits the Twist of Hate.  Hardy has the referee hand him his neon ladder.  He tries to do something to Anderson, but Anderson counters with the Lambea Leap onto the ladder.  Anderson goes for the Kenton Bomb, but Hardy avoids it.  Hardy sets up two ladders side by side and climbs.  Anderson follows.  They fight on top of the ladders.  Anderson goes for the Mic Check, but they both just kind of fall in a big, painful looking mess.  Hardy kicks Anderson out of the ring, climbs the ladder, and takes the belt down to regain the title in 18:16.  Okay if sort of sloppy match.  Match highlights.  Hardy celebrates with his ugly belt and his awful entrance music.

This show was pretty average for the most part, but Angle/Jarrett was really good.

TNA iMPACT! 2/10/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2011 by Grappleholic

Recap of recent goings on.

“Don’t Be Roode”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Immortal come to the ring: Eric Bischoff, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Jeff Jarrett, Karen Jarrett, Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy.  Bischoff blathers for a while.  He talks shit about Fortune.  Jeff Jarrett calls out Fortune, who do indeed come out: AJ Styles, TNA X Division Champion Kazarian, and TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  Jarrett challenges them to get in the ring, so they do.  Jarrett talks about how he gave them all the opportunity to be in TNA in the first place.  Roode tells Jarrett to STFU.  He says they took the opportunity Jarrett gave them and built TNA while they kept bringing in overpaid WWE washouts.  He calls Jarrett “slapnuts.”  A brawl breaks out.  Fortune are outnumbered, but Kurt Angle, Scott Steiner, and Crimson make the save.

Tonight, Angle and Jarrett sign the contract for Against All Odds!  Jeff Jarrett & Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles & Robert Roode!  Ken Anderson defends the World Championship against Matt Morgan!

Winter and Velvet Sky scream at each other backstage.  Angelina Love tells them to chill the fuck out.  She tries to make peace.  It fails.  Commercials.

Eric Bischoff talks to Hernandez backstage.  He’s apparently working for Bischoff now.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Tables Match: Matt Hardy, Bully Ray, & “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Rob Van Dam, Samoa Joe, & Brother Devon.  The faces hit the ring and brawl.  Devon takes Bubba out of the ring.  Joe chases Pope out of the arena.  Hardy and Van Dam go at it in the ring.  Hardy goes up top, but RVD kicks him in the head and knocks him to the floor.  Hardy tries to bring in a chair.  RVD hits a baseball slide dropkick and goes for a slingshot dive.  Hardy catches him with the chair.  Devon and Ray come back in the ring with their brawl.  Ray hits Devon in the balls.  He says he’ll get his own table.  He talks shit to Devon’s kids again.  They jump the the rail and grab Bubba’s feet on the apron.  Devon charges and knocks Ray off the apron through the table for the win in 3:11.  Well, there ya go.  Devon celebrates with his sons.

Tonight, Anderson vs. Morgan for the World title!

Jeff and Karen Jarrett are obnoxious backstage.  Jarrett has snuck some stupid clause into the contract.  Commercials.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett are in the ring with a bunch of security geeks.  Karen babbles about something.  Kurt Angle comes out.  Karen taunts him by talking about their kids.  Jarrett lays out the stupid stipulations.  If Angle wins, he gets custody of his kids.  If Jarrett wins, Angle has to give Karen away at their re-wedding.  Karen is not cool with this, but they sign the contract anyway.

Up next, clusterfuck women’s tag match!  Commercials.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne, Tara, Sarita, & Rosita vs. Mickie James, TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Angelina Love & Winter, & Velvet Sky.  Sarita and Love start.  Love gets a sunset flip for 2.  Love hits a diving cross body for 2.  Rosita cheap shots Love and tags in.  Sarita and Rosita double team Love.  Love catches Rosita on a cross body and slams her.  Velvet tags in.  Winter slaps her head.  They argue.  Sarita hits a backbreaker on Sky.  Rosita hits Sky with a moonsault press for the pin in 2:56 as Winter blocks her partners from making the save.  This was crap.  Everyone leaves.  Mickie challenges Madison to come fight.  Commercials.

Mickie James and Madison Rayne face off in the ring.  Madison screeches for a while.  That’s all.  This was pointless.

Jeff Hardy talks about Mr. Anderson and Matt Morgan.  He’ll face the winner of their match tonight in a Ladder Match at the PPV.

Still to come, Hardy & Jarrett vs. Styles & Roode!  Anderson vs. Morgan is NEXT!  Commercials.

Kurt Angle talks to AJ Styles and Robert Roode backstage.  He wants them to fuck Jeff Jarrett up tonight.  Roode offers to let Angle take his place tonight.  Angle agrees.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Ken Anderson (c) vs. Matt Morgan.  Jeff Hardy comes out and sits on top of a horribly painted ladder to watch.  They lock up.  Morgan shoves Anderson into the corner.  Anderson grabs a side headlock and hits a shoulder block that fails to knock Morgan down.  Morgan grabs a headlock and hits a shoulder block that does knock Anderson down.  Morgan hits a hip toss.  Anderson takes out Morgan’s leg and hits a sliding lariat for 2.  Morgan hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Anderson ducks a short lariat and gets a schoolboy for 1.  Morgan hits a lariat for 2.  Morgan applies a rear chin lock.  They trade punches.  Anderson gets rolling and hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson avoids the Carbon Footprint.  Morgan counters the Lambeau Leap.  Anderson hits a diving lariat for 2.  Morgan charges Anderson, crotches himself on the top rope, and falls out of the ring.  Morgan pulls Anderson’s head across the top rope.  Anderson accidentally bumps the ref.  Hernandez runs in through the crowd and attacks Morgan, ramming his head into the post.  Back inside, Anderson covers for the pin in 5:42.  This was good until the fuck finish.  Hernandez gets in the ring and attacks Anderson.  Hernandez hits a spinebuster.  Hardy delivers the Swanton Bomb to Anderson and poses with his fugly belt.  Commercials.

House shows!

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Bully Ray talks shit about Devon and his kids backstage.  He wants to face all 3 of them in a Street Fight at Against All Odds.

X Division #1 Contender Qualifying Three-Way Match: Brian Kendrick vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie) vs. Suicide.  Robbie jumps the returning Suicide while Kendrick meditates in the corner.  Suicide fights back.  I think it’s Christopher Daniels.  Robbie sends Suicide out of the ring.  Kendrick beats up Robbie.  Suicide comes back in and gets decked by both guys.  Suicide comes back and runs wild.  Kendrick lands some kicks on Suicide.  Suicide hits his finish on Kendrick.  Cookie distracts the ref.  Robbie knocks Suicide out of the ring and pins Kendrick in 2:43.  There ya go.

Double Jeffs vs. Styles & Angle NEXT!  Commercials.

Ink Inc. talk about being weirdos.

Against All Odds hype.

Brother Devon (w/ his kids) talks about Bully Ray.

The main event is NEXT!  Commercials.

Jeff Hardy & Jeff Jarrett (w/ Karen Jarrett) vs. Kurt Angle & AJ Styles.  Styles and Jarrett are to start, but Styles tags in Angle.  Jarrett immediately tags out, so Hardy and Angle start.  Angle gives Hardy a wrestling lesson.  Angle hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Angle sends Hardy into the corner.  Jarrett drops off the apron to avoid being tagged in because he’s a big pussy.  Styles tags in and beats up Hardy.  NOW Jarrett tags in.  He beats up Styles.  Styles grabs an arm lock and tags in Angle.  Jarrett scampers away and tags out.  Hardy and Angle go at it again.  Jarrett trips Angle from the outside.  Hardy hits a clothesline for 2.  Hardy clamps on a rear chin lock.  Angle fights out and eats an elbow smash.  Jarrett tags in now that Angle is down and out.  Jarrett beats on Angle while Karen taunts him.  Angle rallies, ducks an enzuigiri, and goes for the ankle lock.  Hardy saves.  Styles comes in.  The referee gets him out.  Jarrett tags Hardy behind the referee’s back, and of course since this is TNA the referee is perfectly fine with it.  Hardy hits a suplex for 2.  Hardy applies a rear chin lock.  Commercials.  Angle fires back on Hardy.  Hardy drops him with a clothesline.  Hardy goes up top.  Angle springs up and brings him down with an arm drag.  Styles and Jarrett tag in.  Styles runs wild.  Styles lands the Pele kick.  Hardy saves and gives Styles a front suplex.  Angle gives Hardy a German suplex.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam on Jarrett.  Jarrett escapes and bails.  Angle chases him back into the ring.  Jarrett gets the jump and tries to keep him out of the ring.  Karen gets in the way.  Styles hits the springboard flying forearm on Jarrett for the pin in 14:19.  Fun match.  Jarrett kicks Angle in the balls and gives Styles the Stroke.  Stroke to Angle as well.  Hardy gives Styles the Twist of Hate.  Fortune, Steiner, and Crimson hit the ring.  Immortal hit the ring.  Everybody brawls.  Immortal gets the better of it.  Rob Van Dam runs in and kicks heels in the face.  Matt Hardy takes out RVD’s leg.  Jarrett beats up Roode.  Mr. Anderson runs in and cleans house.  Mic Check to Rob Terry.  Fortune and friends stand tall.

Not a great show, but not the worst TNA show ever by any means.

TNA iMPACT! 2/18/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

Eric Bischoff arrives in a limo.  He’s talking to someone on the phone.  “Let the games begin,” he says.  Against All Odds highlight video.  Dixie Carter and Hulk Hogan’s announcement that TNA moves to Mondays on March 8.

“Lord of the Ring.”  iMPACT! open.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero comes out.  Pope cuts a promo about his victory at the PPV that made him #1 Contender to the World Championship.  He addresses “Arthur Jackson” and “Dick Flair.”  Pope says he’ll win the title.  The World Champion, AJ Styles comes out along with Ric Flair and a bunch of bimbos.  Flair does the talking, which strikes me as a good thing.  Pope calls him a dick again.  Flair calls him a street thug.  Styles does his pitiful excuse for heel mic work.  Pope slugs AJ.  AJ and Flair beat down Pope.  The Pillmanize Pope’s ankle.  Styles puts him in the figure-four.

Moments ago… ^ happened.

Mike Tenay and Taz are our hosts!  They hype the move to Monday.

Non-Title: Daffney vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Tara.  Daffney’s music is awesome.  Apparently a former TNA Champion is returning tonight.  I guess that’s who Bischoff was talking to.  Tara beats up Daffney and hits a sidewalk slam out of a fireman’s carry for 2.  Daffney hits an European uppercut and a chop.  Tara back body drops her.  Tara almost has a wardrobe malfunction.  Daffney gets the advantage and works Tara’s hair.  That never ceases to amuse me.  When a guy has long hair, his opponent doesn’t attack it.  Daffney sends Tara to the floor and rams her into the guardrail.  Daffney pulls a toolbox from under the ring and hits Tara with it for the DQ in 2:21.  Daffney continues to assault Tara and screams at the referee.  Daffney traps Tara under a piece of the barricade and beats it with a chair.  Dr. Stevie finally pulls her away.  Good angle.

Mick Foley goes into Bischoff’s office.  Bischoff was pleased with the PPV match.  He has people there to make him some new gear.  They’re going shopping, courtesy of “ATM Eric.”  They leave.  Bischoff calls someone to send Abyss into his office.

Kevin Nash is in the house!

Orlando Jordan comes out with his bi-sexual lovers.  Joe’s music hits, but before he comes out they show Bischoff bitching at him for losing on Sunday.

Orlando Jordan (w/ bi-sexual lovers) vs. Samoa Joe.  Jordan tries to jump Joe, but Joe kicks his ass.  Joe decapitates Jordan with a leg lariat for 2.  Jordan hits a big spinebuster and puts the boots to Joe.  Jordan hits a swinging neckbreaker, drops some elbows, and hits a knee drop for 2.  Joe makes a comeback with clotheslines and back body drop.  Joe sets him up in Muscle Buster position, but beats the crap out of him instead of hitting the move.  The referee gets onto Joe.  Jordan hits a swank neckbreaker for the pin in 3:25.  Joe’s pissed.

Abyss talks to Jeremy Borash.  He’s worried about what Bischoff wants with him.

Bischoff bitches out Abyss for the same reason he praised Foley earlier.  Bischoff says there’s nobody here to protect Abyss, so he’s going to take his mask.  Abyss begs him not to.  Bischoff says he’s going to do it later tonight, and he’s got security posted to make sure Abyss doesn’t leave the building.

Christy Hemme interviews Eric Young.  Young says Kevin Nash is going to address Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac in the ring tonight.

Video of the Monday announcement again.

Bischoff walks into wherever the hell Jeff Jarrett is with the barbed wire bat.  Bischoff tells Jarrett to use the bat tonight in his match with Abyss.

TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams, The Motor City Machine Guns, & Brian Kendrick vs. Amazing Red, Generation Me, & Kazarian.  Kaz is back!  Williams jumps Kazarian to start.  Kazarian drops him.  Williams tags in Kendrick.  Kazarian kicks his ass.  The bell randomly rings again.  Generation Me double teams Kendrick.  Shelley tags in and hits an awesome crucifix hold on the dark haired one for 2.  Sabin tags in.  Guns double team the dark haired one (Taz says it’s Max).  Max tags in Red, who has an awesome bit with Sabin.  Red plants Sabin with a DDT.  Shelley saves.  Sabin knees Red in the gut and tags in Williams.  Williams drops Red and goes up top, but Red takes him down with a spin kick.  Tag to Kazarian, who runs wild on Williams.  Kazarian hits a spinning neckbreaker on Williams.  Kendrick saves.  Awesome clusterfuck ensues.  Guns try to double team Kazarian, but Red takes down down.  Red takes out the Guns with a dive to the outside.  Kazarian fights off Kendrick and hits a springboard DDT on Williams for the pin in 4:09.  Awesome little spot fest.

Abyss is trying to escape the building.  Referee Slick Johnson tells him he has a match.  Abyss wants to leave, not wrestle.  Abyss vs. Jarrett is NEXT!

Monday announcement for the trillionth time.

Abyss vs. Jeff Jarrett.  Jarrett still gets no music, and he has the barbed wire bat instead of a guitar.  They lock up.  Abyss drops Jarrett with a shoulder block.  Jarrett tries to get something going, but gets dropped with a clothesline.  Jarrett counters the Shock Treatment and rocks Abyss with an enzuigiri.  Jarrett dropkicks Abyss and does the punches in the corner.  Abyss stops it with an inverted atomic drop.  Jarrett clotheslines Abyss out of the ring.  Jarrett pulls a chair out of the front row.  I know I asked this at the PPV, but why are there empty seats in the front row?  Abyss cuts Jarrett off and rams Jarrett into the chair.  Abyss brings the chair back into the ring and wedges it between the top and middle turnbuckles.  Abyss doesn’t like touching the bat.  Back into the ring.  Double clothesline spot.  Eric Bischoff comes out to the stage to watch.  Insta-commercials.  Abyss hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Jarrett comes off the middle rope, but Abyss catches him with a chokeslam for 2.  Jarrett avoids an elbow drop and hits Abyss with some punches.  Jarrett hits the Stroke, then hits it again into the chair from earlier.  Jarrett makes eye contact with Bischoff and picks up the bat.  Abyss begs off and Jarrett has second thoughts.  Jarrett throws the bat down.  Bischoff says he knew he couldn’t trust Jarrett.  He sends out Raven, Tomko, Homicide, Rhino, and Desmond Wolfe to jump Abyss and Jarrett.  It’s a no-contest in 7:33.  They hold Abyss.  Bischoff is about to rip his mask off when Hulk Hogan comes out.  Hogan tells Abyss to get to his office.  Oh, the match was fun while it lasted.  Abyss and Hogan leave.

Moments ago, all of that stuff happened.

Abyss is headed to Hogan’s office, flanked by security.

The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus & TNA Global Champion Rob Terry) vs. Beer Money.  They finally acknowledge Terry’s title win on the recent UK tour.  Storm and Magnus go at it.  Storm slaps Magnus HARD.  Terry clotheslines Storm from the apron.  Brits double team Storm while the referee keeps Roode out.  Terry hits a running powerslam on Storm.  Magnus tags back in and covers for 2.  Magnus tags Terry back in.  Oh, so Magnus wants Terry to do the work and take the glory for himself.  Magnus tags back in.  Storm kicks his ass and tags in Roode.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Magnus.  Terry comes in and gets double suplexed by Beer Money.  BEER!  MONEY!  They double clothesline Terry out of the ring.  Storm takes him out with a dive.  Beer Money hits the DWI on Magnus and Roode gets the pin in 2:48.  Magnus blames Terry for the loss.  He bitches Terry out, slaps him, and says the belt belongs to him.  Terry kicks his ass and takes his belt back.

Kevin Nash is backstage, looking angry.

Abyss is waiting on Hogan.  Hogan comes in yells at Abyss, yells at Bischoff to not come in, and yells at Abyss some more.  Hogan says he’s tired of Abyss being afraid of his own shadow.  Hogan gives Abyss his Hall of Fame ring, which is supposed to give Abyss Hogan’s power.  Silly, but kind of fun.  Abyss puts the ring on and feels the power!

Daniels vs. Kurt Angle.  Daniels jumps Angle at the bell and kicks his ass.  The referee pulls him off, and he jumps back on the attack.  Repeat.  Angle fights back, but Daniels drops him with a palm thrust for 2.  Daniels tries a sunset flip, but Angle locks him in the ankle lock for the victory on 1:06.  Does it still count as a squash if Daniels got 90% of the offense?

Angle takes the mic and addresses Mr. Anderson.  He’s mad at Anderson for spitting on his over sized dog tag at the PPV.  Angle talks about the hard year he had last year.  The dog tag means a lot to him because a soldier gave it to him.  He’s gonna fuck Ken Anderson’s shit up for spitting on America.  Or something like that.  He says he’ll see Anderson in hell.  Anderson comes out.  Commercials.

Anderson makes fun of Angle for whining.  He says he liked making Angle bleed.  Angle goes up the ramp and brawls with Anderson.  Anderson smashes Angle in the head with the microphone and welcomes him to Total Nonstop Anderson… ANDERSON!

JB tries to interview Samoa Joe as he’s leaving the building, but Joe has nothing to say.  A white van pulls up and a bunch of masked guys kidnap Joe.  The fuck?

Tenay and Taz agree with my sentiment.

Kevin Nash and Eric Young come out.  Nash stares at the camera and addresses Hall and Waltman.  Kind of creepy, as he said he bought a black suit 10 years ago because he knew he’d end up putting one of them in the ground.  He calls them out.  They come in through the crowd.  Young jumps Pac and they brawl on the outside.  Hall throws his toothpick and Nash and Nash kicks his ass.  Security breaks it up.  Hogan comes out and stands on the stage.  Nash says “Next week, it’s on.”

Very good show, and I haven’t said that about Impact in a very long time.

TNA Against All Odds 2010

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 19, 2010 by Grappleholic

The show starts with Ric Flair coming into the building and screaming at Christy Hemme about how he hates Eric Bischoff.  He apparently plans to harm Bischoff tonight.

PPV opening video hyping the tournament and the World Title match taking place tonight.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are our hosts LIVE from Orlando, Florida.

8 Card Stud Tournament – Quarterfinal: Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea) vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  They lock up and trade arm holds.  You’re not going to win that game against Wolfe, Pope.  Man, Wolfe’s submission work is so off the charts awesome.  Pope is able to match him in the early going.  Wolfe sends Pope out of the ring, harms him nastily on the apron, then fails the Tower of London.  Wolfe works on Pope’s shoulder.  Wolfe hits a DDT for 2.  Back to working the shoulder.  Pope escapes a hold, but immediately gets locked in another one.  Pope escapes again and hits a flurry of strikes.  Pope hits the Coronation, followed by a diving cross body for 2.  Wolfe catapults Pope into the turnbuckle, but Pope catches himself.  Wolfe goes for the Tower of London, fails, hits a superplex for 2.  Dinero gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Wolfe rings Pope’s arm, charges him in the corner, Dinero avoids it and drops Wolfe very nastily.  Pope hits the Elijah Express for the pin in 7:39.  Match was fine.  Pope advances!

Ric Flair goes into Bischoff’s office and yells at him.  Bischoff yells back at Flair.  Bischoff says he’ll call it in the middle and tells Flair to keep his distance.

Jeremy Borash (He’s back!) interviews the TNA World Tag Team Champions, Matt Morgan & Hernandez, who will be facing each other in the tournament tonight.  They want to see for themselves who is the best.  The fist bump(!) and wish each other luck.

8 Card Stud Tournament – Quarterfinal: TNA World Tag Team Champion Hernandez vs. TNA World Tag Team Champion Matt Morgan.  They fist bump(!) and lock up.  Morgan backs Hernandez into the corner and gives a clean break.  Repeat in reverse.  They fist bump and lock up yet again and finally kinda go at it.  Morgan drops Hernandez twice with shoulder blocks.  Hernandez pounces Morgan in response.  Hernandez avoids the Carbon Footprint.  Morgan avoids the Border Toss.  Revolving elbows in the corner.  Hernandez kicks Morgan low and they totally fuck up a cross body off the top.  Morgan nails Hernandez with a discus lariat for 2.  That’s another move I always mark out for.  Annoying alternating chants from the TNA mutants.  Morgan hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Morgan is selling his ribs.  He does his weird thingy with the opponent over the top rope.  APRON LEG DROP!  I mark for that move as well.  Morgan hits a pair of short range lariats for 2.  Morgan clamps on a rear chin lock.  Hernandez fights back.  Morgan headbutts Hernandez on the apron.  Hernandez shakes it off and hits the springboard shoulder block.  They tease a double KO but both make it up.  Hernandez makes his comeback.  Half-assed chokeslam for 2 by Hernandez.  Hernandez hits the delayed vertical suplex.  Morgan goes out to the ramp and Hernandez wipes him out with a dive, but hurts his own shoulder in the process.  The referee is about to count Hernandez out, but Morgan doesn’t want to win that way.  Morgan helps Hernandez back into the ring, sends his shoulder into the turnbuckle, and pins him with a handful of tights.  What a dick.  Match was okay.  Hernandez is mad.

Video package of the recent goings on involving Kurt Angle, AJ Styles, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, and The Band.  Read the iMPACT! reviews for details.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.  Angle apologizes to Hulk since Hulk saved his ass last week.  He goes on to say he’ll win the tournament tonight, starting by kicking Mr. Anderson’s ass.

8 Card Stud Tournament – Quarterfinal: Ken Anderson vs. Kurt Angle.  Anderson throws some kicks at Angle’s leg.  Angle catches Anderson’s leg and goes for the ankle lock, but Anderson scampers for the ropes.  Angle takes Anderson down with a headlock.  Up, shoulder block, back down with the headlock.  Back up, Anderson hammers Angle with punches.  Angle back body drops Anderson and hits a snap suplex for 2.  Angle hits the 10 punches in the corner, whips him into the opposite corner, and charges.  Anderson avoids him.  Anderson yells at Angle and drives Angle’s dog tag into his head.  Angle is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Anderson hammers the bloody Angle.  Sick snap DDT gets 2 for Anderson.  Anderson cranks on a rear chin lock.  Angle fights out and makes his comeback.  Anderson kicks Angle in the face out of the corner.  Angle replies with a big belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Angle hits a clothesline for 2.  Angle hits the rolling Germans.  Anderson avoids the Angle Slam and hits the Lambeau Leap for 2.  Anderson tries to expose one of the turnbuckles, but gets caught by the referee.  While the referee is fixing it, Anderson exposes the opposite one.  Angle avoids the shot and hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Angle drops the straps and locks in the ankle lock.  Anderson counters his way out and stands in the corner with exposed buckle.  Angle charges, Anderson avoids it, Angle eats the exposed turnbuckle.  Anderson hits the Mic Check for the pin in 9:47.  Good match.  Anderson lays Kurt’s medal on his chest, then spits on him.

Eric Bischoff tells Mick Foley and Abyss to go at it tonight, because if they take it easy on each other, he’s going to make Abyss take his mask off.  He makes it a No DQ Match so they can use the barbed wire bat.  And they HAVE to use the barbed wire bat, or the mask is coming off.

Tenay and Taz talk about what we just saw.

8 Card Stud Tournament – Quarterfinal, No DQ Match: Abyss vs. Mick Foley.  They lock up and Abyss grabs a side head lock.  That’s a very odd thing to see in an Abyss/Mick Foley match.  Abyss drops Foley with a shoulder block.  Foley goes for the barbed wire bat, but Abyss cuts him off and beats him.  Abyss squashes Foley in the corner.  Crowd chants “USE THE BAT!”  Abyss picks it up, then puts it back down.  He doesn’t want to hurt Mick.  Foley slaps and punches him while yelling at him to use the bat.  Abyss fights back.  They brawl to the outside.  Abyss pulls a chair out of the front row (why are there empty seats in the front row?) and hits him in the back with it.  Foley continues to beat up Abyss while yelling at him to use the bat.  Back inside, Foley picks up the bat and charges Abyss.  Abyss gets the boot up to avoid it.  Abyss beats up Foley a bit.  Foley hits a spinning neckbreaker and continues to beat up Abyss.  Vintage Foley running inner thigh to the corner.  Foley pours Abyss’ bag of thumbtacks onto the mat.  Foley punches Abyss.  Abyss sets up the chokeslam, refuses to chokeslam Foley into the tacks, and just chokeslams in the clear part of the ring for 2.  Abyss finds Foley’s sock.  Foley avoids the Mandible Claw and hits the double arm DDT.  Foley takes the referee’s sock off and goes for Abyss.  Double Mandible Claw spot.  Foley, being the master of the move, gets the better of it.  The referee checks Abyss’ arm.  Foley releases the hold before the ref can end it.  Foley picks up the bat.  Abyss catches him with the Black Hole Slam into the tacks for the pin in 7:42.  Abyss seems upset at accidentally using the tacks.  He pulls the tacks out of Foley’s back.  This match was fun considering the storyline.

Christy Hemme interviews the “legendary” Nasty Boys.  Yeah.  Sags looks the exact same that he did in 1996.  Knobs just looks fatter.

Nasty Boys/Team 3D video package.

The Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D.  They brawl.  Well what did you expect, wrist locks?  3D sends the Nasty Boys out of the ring.  Nothing happens for a minute or two.  Seriously, nothing at all.  3D politely waits for the Nasties to come back into the ring.  Ray and Sags finally lock up.  Sags beats up Ray.  The Nastys beat up Ray.  Ray avoids the Pit Stop and hits a backdrop suplex and a leg drop for 2.  Devon tags in.  They call for the 3D, so Sags bails.  Crowd chants “WE WANT TABLES!”  Nothing happens for a little while again.  The Nastys get in the ring.  Devon fights them both and takes himself and Sags out of the ring.  Sags chokes Devon with his shirt.  Thankfully he had another shirt on under it.  Brother Ray comes around and knocks Sags into the camera man.  “Brother Ray just hits Sags like he owed him money.” -Taz.  Nastys get heat on Devon.  Brother Ray gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Ray and Sags fuck up a Rock Bottom.  WASSUP headbutt on Knobs.  3D on Sags.  Ray covers, but the referee is busy trying to get Devon out of the ring.  Knobs hits Devon with a helmet belonging to the previously unseen Jimmy Hart.  Sags pins Ray in 10:40.  So Jimmy Hart is back with the Nasty Boys.  The match wasn’t the train wreck I expected, but it wasn’t especially good either.

Bischoff talks to Samoa Joe backstage.  Joe says he’ll deal with AJ and for Bischoff to deal with Flair.  Bischoff tells Joe to keep his temper under control.

8 Card Stud Tournament – Semifinal: “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. TNA World Tag Team Champion Matt Morgan.  They milk the crowd for a minute before locking up.  Morgan over powers Pope.  Pope kicks at Morgan’s leg, dropkicks him into the ropes, and tries to whip him.  Morgan throws Pope out of the ring.  Morgan goes outside to beat up Pope.  Morgan keeps the heat on Pope back inside.  Revolving elbows in the corner for the second time tonight.  Morgan squashes Pope in the corner, then does the sidewalk drop.  Morgan with the over the top rope deal, the equivalent to Pope’s Coronation in that the move is impossible to describe without having to pause the match.  If you don’t know what the moves are and read my review to keep up… watch TNA just once to know what I’m talking about.  But I digress.  Pope fights out of a bearhug.  Morgan hits a fall away slam.  Pope counters Morgan with a DDT.  Pope makes his comeback.  Morgan avoids the Coronation and murders Pope with a discus lariat for 2.  Morgan yells at the ref for not counting fast enough.  Morgan hammers Pope in the corner.  Pope avoids the Carbon Footprint in the corner and hits the Elijah Express for the pin in 8:30.  Pretty good match, I thought.  Morgan is frustrated.

JB interviews Mr. Anderson.  ANDERSON!

8 Card Stud Tournament – Semifinal: Abyss vs. Ken Anderson.  Anderson throws punches and chops, fails at Irish whipping Abyss, ducks clotheslines, fails at cross bodying Abyss.  Anderson teases a test of strength, punches Abyss in the face, fails at slamming Abyss, gets slammed himself.  Abyss mows Anderson down with a big boot and clotheslines him to the floor.  Abyss rams Anderson’s face into the steps.  Ouch.  They brawl outside.  Back inside, Anderson takes Abyss down with a dropkick to the knee.  Anderson tries to take Abyss’ mask off.  Abyss fight him off.  Anderson chop blocks the leg and puts the boots to Abyss in the corner.  Anderson works the leg.  Abyss tries a chokeslam.  Anderson blocks it.  Abyss back body drops Anderson.  Abyss throws some punches and hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Abyss avoids the Mic Check and hits the Shock Treatment for 2.  Abyss catches Anderson coming off the top and goes for a chokeslam.  Anderson fucks his mask up.  Abyss goozles the referee.  Anderson kicks Abyss’ leg and hits the Mic Check for the pin in 8:08.  It was alright.

Christy Hemme interviews AJ Styles and Ric Flair.  I guess Styles didn’t want to completely bleach his hair, but he has gotten highlights.

Styles/Samoa Joe video package.

Tale of the Tape.

Eric Bischoff is headed to the ring to referee the World Title match.  He runs into Hulk Hogan, who warns him to watch his temper.  “No shenanigans,” he says.  He tells Bischoff to call it right down the middle.  Bischoff agrees.  Hogan walks away.  “Dammit!” Bischoff says.  Throughout this, there’s a sign in the background that says “Please keep the Elephant door CLOSED when not in use.”  I don’t know what an elephant door is, but I found it funny.

Elaborate entrances and in-ring intros by JB.  Joe is cashing in his Feast Or Fired briefcase to get this title shot.  Styles now has a robe and looks ridiculous in it.  The robe has a hood.  Heh, neat.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) (w/ Ric Flair) vs. Samoa Joe.  Eric Bischoff is the special referee.  Bischoff does a thorough job of checking both guys for foreign objects.  They lock up.  Styles bails immediately.  “JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU!” chant.  Styles tries to shoulder block Joe and fails, so he punches Joe in the face.  Joe BLASTS Styles with a shoulder block and hits him with a flurry of punches and strikers.  Joe squashes Styles in the corner and rocks him with a big kick.  Joe hits the knee in the corner.  Styles fights back, ducks a lariat, and gets decapitated with a leg lariat.  Cover gets 2 for Joe.  Joe throws some kicks.  AJ catches his leg and hits a Dragon screw leg whip.  Styles takes over and works Joe’s leg.  Styles goes for the figure-four, but Joe kicks him clear out of the ring.  Joe kills AJ with a tope suicida.  Styles takes a bump into the guardrail over it, which I’m almost certain is very unpleasant.  Joe takes Styles back inside.  Styles bails again and Joe gives pursuit.  Styles uses dirty tactics to get the advantage.  Styles moves the floor mats and goes for a suplex.  He fails.  Joe tries a suplex of his own, but Styles avoids it.  Joe blasts Styles with a chop and sends him back in.  Joe stalks Flair a bit and gets back in the ring to eat a dropkick.  They trade chops.  Styles goes for a Frankensteiner off the top, but Joe pushes him away and murders Styles again with a diving leg lariat for 2.  Styles charges Joe in the corner and gets dropped with a STO-like move.  Joe charges Styles in the corner, but Styles gets his feet up to knock Joe down and mounts him with some punches.  Bischoff yells at Styles.  Flair takes the opportunity to ram Joe’s leg into the post.  Styles goes after the leg again.  Joe fights out of the Muta Lock.  Styles applies the figure-four leglock.  Flair helps Styles get leverage.  Bischoff catches him and forces Styles to break the hold.  Joe backdrops Styles clear over the top rope and out of the ring.  Back inside, Joe makes his comeback.  Senton gets 2.  Snap powerslam gets 2.  Styles hits a springboard forearm and mounts Joe for more punches.  Joe replies with a slap rush.  Styles hits the Phenomenon for 2.  Styles sets up the Styles Clash, but Joe counters and goes for the choke.  It ends up being a cobra clutch suplex, which is awesome.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster.  Flair grabs Joe’s leg.  Bischoff goes outside to deal with Flair.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster and covers.  Bischoff heads in and Flair pulls him out.  Bischoff decks Flair.  Joe yells at Bischoff and threatens him.  Styles hits the Pele kick and the Styles Clash for a very slow 3 count in 21:27.  So everybody in main events kicks out of the Styles Clash, but Joe can’t even kick out with a super slow count?  Flair yells at Bischoff to raise Styles’ hand.  The match was pretty good, but the finish made Joe look like a jackass.  Joe/Styles works much better with Styles playing AJ Styles as opposed to Styles playing a second rate Ric Flair.

Highlights of the tournament.

Christy Hemme interviews Mr. Anderson.  He calls the TNA title “the most prestigious championship in the entire freakin’ world.”  Hyperbole, much?

JB interviews The Pope.  The Band jumps Pope and kick his ass.

They tease that Pope isn’t going to come out for the final match.  Anderson tells the referee to ring the bell and count Pope out.

8 Card Stud Tournament – Final: Ken Anderson vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Pope makes his way out.  Anderson meets him in the ramp and attacks him.  Anderson runs back to the ring to break the count, then runs back to beat on Pope some more.  Pope fights back.  They finally get into the ring.  Anderson immediately bails, so Pope follows him out and they fight outside some more.  Anderson gets the advantage.  Pope is selling the knee that he’s been having trouble with lately.  Styles and Flair are shown watching on a monitor backstage.  Anderson finally gets in the ring and awaits his count-out victory.  He knocks Pope off the apron before he can get in.  Pope finally manages to get in the ring and hits Anderson with some strikes.  Pope fails suplex attempts and gets suplexed himself.  Cover gets 2 for Anderson Anderson.  Anderson stomps Pope’s hand.  Pope pimp slaps him and gets an inside cradle for 2.  Anderson drops some elbows and gets a pair of 2 counts.  Pope fights back with a flurry on punches.  Anderson takes him down and beats on him again.  Pope runs the ropes but gets caught with a knee to the middle for 2.  Anderson beats on Pope some more.  Pope makes another comeback.  Pope hits a vertical suplex, transitions into a German, tries to roll with it but gets cut off.  Pope drops Anderson with an STO for 2.  Pope hits the Elijah Express, but Anderson kicks out.  Anderson drops Pope and calls for his microphone to be dropped down from the ceiling.  He talks for a minute, then hits the Mic Check, but Pope kicks out!  Anderson is pissed.  He puts the boots to Pope and hits the Lambeau Leap.  He goes for the Kenton bomb, but Pope avoids it.  Pope avoids Anderson in the corner and hits the Elijah Express for the pin in 15:45.  The match started slow but really picked up towards the end.  Pope winning was a great story.

Destination X plug.

I wouldn’t call this a great show, but there was nothing offensively bad on it, which is a big step up from some of the pre-Hogan and Bischoff shows.  I really liked the story with Pope winning it all.

TNA iMPACT! 2/11/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  “Last week on Impact…” video.  iMPACT! open, pyro and ballyhoo, Mike Tenay and Taz are our hosts.

Hulk Hogan comes to the ring and cuts an “old guy who’s out of touch and full of shit” promo.  He goes on to say he’s put the iMPACT! Zone under lockdown so Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac can’t get in, and if they do get in, he’ll “put on the red and yellow” and wrestle.  PLEASE, PLEASE, Hall and Pac, stay away.  Eric Young comes out.  Crowd chants “over rated.”  Really?  Young says he and Kevin Nash are friends, and he wants Hogan to let Hall and Pac in so they can get what’s coming to them.  Hogan says some shit about how experienced he is and says he’s not letting The Band in.  Young says if Hulk won’t let them in, he’ll “do what Kevin would do” and go to them.  Hogan tells Young to take them off the property and “bust ’em up real bad.”  They shake hands.  Poor EY is going to get killed.

Mick Foley is looking for Eric Bischoff.

Hall and Syxx-Pac are slinking around outside, looking for a way in.

8 Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match: Orlando Jordan vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  They lock up, into the corner, lock up again.  Dinero with some arm drags and Bionic Elbows.  Jordan gets the advantage and hits a nice spinning neckbreaker.  “POPE IS PIMPIN’!” chants.  Jordan with a backbreaker.  “YOU STILL SUCK!” chants.  Pope makes his comeback and hits the Coronation for 2.  That move isn’t worthy of a 2 count.  Jordan hits a spinebuster for 2.  Pope lands a big punch, then hits the Elijah Express for the pin in 4:50.  It was okay.

Jeff Jarrett comes in to talk to Eric Bischoff.  He says he hopes he delivered 2 weeks ago.  Bischoff says a bunch of bullshit about how great he was and how he miscalculated Jarrett’s worth.  Jarrett wants a spot in the tournament.  Bischoff says Jarrett isn’t “ready” and it wouldn’t be starting at the bottom of the ladder.

8 Card Stud Qualifying Match: Suicide vs. TNA World Tag Team Champion Matt Morgan.  Suicide is abusive and elusive in the beginning, but Morgan catches him with a fall away slam.  Revolving elbows in the corner, sandwich in the corner, sidewalk drop (no slam, just a drop), headbutt, general ass kicking.  Suicide rallies and hits a missile dropkick for 1.  Suicide hammers on Morgan, counters a chokeslam, dropkicks Morgan, then eats the Carbon Footprint.  Morgan gets the pin in 2:30.  Alrighty then.

Mick Foley goes into Bischoff’s office and kisses up to him.  He says he’ll get on board for the sake of Abyss and Jeremy Borash.  Bischoff agrees and books Abyss vs. Mick Foley in the first round of the 8 Card Stud Tournament at Against All Odds.  Bischoff tells Foley to change his look, and says he’ll make Abyss take his mask off if there are any “shenanigans” in their match.

We’ve got the brackets for the tournament now.  First round will see Pope vs. Wolfe, Hernandez vs. Morgan, Angle vs. Anderson, and Foley vs. Abyss.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson, who will face off at the PPV, but will be partners tonight.  Guys that don’t like each other tagging together!  Such whackiness!  Anderson has a falling mic in wherever they are backstage now.  Whacky, I tell you!

Kurt Angle tells Eric Young not to go after Hall and Pac because they can’t trust Hogan.  Angle says he’ll handle it himself.  Young punches the locker like a moody teenager.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Doug Williams (c) vs. Amazing Red.  This is Red’s rematch, having lost via Feast Or Fired 2 weeks ago.  Red rocks Williams with an enzugiri, jumps on him like a spider monkey, hits some fast kicks to send Williams out of the ring.  Williams avoids a dive.  Pinfall reversal sequence back inside.  Williams plants Red into the mat thrice in a neat spot.  Yeah, I just used the word “thrice.”  Williams grounds Red with a figure-four head scissors, humps his head into the mat, then covers for 2.  Williams hits a knee drop for 2.  Williams goes up top, but Red connects with a spin kick that sends him to the floor, then takes him out with an awesome corkscrew dive.  “THAT WAS AMAZING!” chant.  Red with a missile dropkick for 2.  Red with a dropkick and a spin kick for 2.  Nifty counter sequences ends with Red getting a near fall off of a cradle.  Red drops him with a kick and goes up top.  Williams avoids the move, avoid a charging Red and sends him into the corner.  Williams hits the Chaos Theory for the pin in 4:49.  Awesome little TV match.

The Beautiful People are headed our way!

Tara/Angelina Love/Beautiful People video package.

Christy interviews Tara and Angelina Love.  Former foes united against a common enemy!

Handicap Match: The Beautiful People vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Tara & Angelina Love.  So Cal Val is skeeved out by Poison.  Tara and Sky start, but Tara tags in Love before contact is made.  Sky runs away and Love gives chase.  Love decks Lacey Von Erich.  The distraction lets Sky jump her for the advantage.  Sky chokes Love with her own hair.  As soon as Love gives the hint of making a comeback, Sky tags out.  Love drags Rayne into the ring and tags in Tara.  Tara schools Rayne.  Sweet suplex into a Beast choker by Tara.  Rayne bails from the ass kicking.  Love and Tara with a double baseball slide dropkick to the 3 Beautiful People.  Insta-commercials.  Lacey trips up Tara to let Rayne get the advantage.  Sky tags in and works Tara’s hair.  Lacey tags in and does a very strange moonsault elbow drop.  Beauties continue to work over Tara.  Double clothesline spot with Tara and Rayne.  Tags to Sky and Love.  Love runs wild on all three.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Love hits a pump kick on Sky.  The referee is distracted.  Lacey hits Love with the ugly stick.  Sky pins Love (5:30).  It was hot chicks wrestling somewhat poorly.  Lacey hits Tara with the ugly stick afterwards.  Beautiful People stand tall.

Christy interviews Desmond Wolfe.  He quotes Forrest Gump in one sentence and uses the word “bollocks” in the next.  He address “Kurt Mangles,” “Super Maxi Pad,” and “some big mouth…”  Funny stuff.  He uses one of his awesome ROH promos, but with the word “end” in place of “kill.”

Hall and Pac are lurking around the parking lot.

TNA World Tag Team Champion Hernandez & Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle & Ken Anderson.  This is what they would call a “Parajes Incredibles” match in Mexico.  I love that term.  Spanish phrases are so cool.  Hernandez and Anderson start.  Anderson kicks at Hernandez’s legs.  Hernandez drops him with a body block.  Stinger Splash, t-shirt snapmare.  Anderson escapes the Border Toss and tags in Angle.  TNA has tag ropes now.  Is that new?  First time I’ve noticed it.  Angle and Hernandez trade hammerlocks.  Angle gets a rope break.  Wolfe gets a cheap shot.  Hernandez yells at him.  Wolfe tags himself in and goes to work on Angle.  These two always rule it together.  Wolfe works Angle’s arm.  We’ve seen that several times, but it’s still crazy awesome.  Angle hits a German suplex.  Wolfe tags out.  Hernandez comes in with a shoulder block to Angle.  Hernandez hits a Canadian backbreaker for 2.  Wolfe tags in.  Angle hammers him.  Wolfe with a knee to the gut.  Annoying alternating chants.  Wolfe with more awesome arm work.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  His partner, Anderson, distracts the ref so he doesn’t see Wolfe tap.  Wolfe escapes and tags in Hernandez.  Angle and Hernandez go at it.  Hernandez goes up top, but Angle brings him down with the avalanche-style arm drag, which is awesome.  Angle goes to tag out, but Anderson short arms him.  Angle runs wild on Wolfe, decks Anderson off the apron, clotheslines Hernandez out of the ring.  Wolfe hits the Divorce Court (I think) for 2.  Awesome move.  Wolfe goes for the Tower of London, but Angle counters into the Angle Slam.  Anderson tags himself in, throws Angle out of the ring, and gets the pin on Wolfe in 6:12.  Really fun match.

Samoa Joe is headed our way!

Samoa Joe comes out and calls out AJ Styles.  The TNA World Heavyweight Champion comes out, suited up and with Ric Flair in tow.  They banter, with Joe playing indignant babyface and Styles playing the arrogant heel.  AJ: “What about you, Joe?  You’ve turned more coats than the dry cleaners!”  Valid point.  Eventually, Styles comes into the ring and they fight.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster, but Flair hits him in the balls.  Beat down ensues.  The referees fail to break it up.  Flair yells at the red headed ref and Joe.  He and Styles leave as the refs and security check on Joe.

AJ Styles is confronted by Eric Bischoff as he’s leaving the building.  Styles brags about what he did.  Bischoff tells him that he will be the guest referee for the World Title match at Against All Odds.  Styles calls Flair to tell him they’ve got a problem.

Geeze, this show isn’t over yet?  Tenay and Taz pimp the PPV lineup.

Kurt Angle is headed outside.  Hulk Hogan stops him.  They talk.  Hogan tells him to go to the ring, so maybe when The Band is beating him down, somebody will make the save.

Kurt Angle is in the ring.  He calls out Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac.  They come in through the crowd.  Pac hits the ring first and Angle kicks his ass.  Angle decks Hall too.  Angle puts Hall in the ankle lock.  Pac hits Angle brass knuckles.  Again and again.  Hall hits Angle with knuckles too.  Hulk Hogan comes out, making his full entrance.  He teases joining in on the beatdown, but decks Hall and Pac with the knuckles.  Angle starts to get up… and my video just ends.  The fuck?  I’m assuming that was the end, my video just ended a few seconds early.

You know, this was ALMOST a very decent Impact, and it would have been, had it ended on the logical closure point (Styles and Flair beating down Joe).  But the show just kept going and going.  I really don’t give a fuck about this Hogan/Angle/Band deal.  Oh well, see you at the PPV!

TNA iMPACT! 2/4/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2010 by Grappleholic

“The Breaking of the Band.”  iMPACT! open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are our hosts.

8 Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match: Brutus Magnus vs. Ken Anderson.   Anderson does his usual pre-match bit.  Uninteresting brawling.  The match is all punch/kick for the first 2 minutes.  Magnus hits a Regal Cutter for 2, then goes for a TKO, but Anderson gouges his eyes and hits the Mic Check for the pin in 2:35.  Not good.  “Winner, winner, chicken dinner” he says.

Mick Foley arrives in a crappy car.  Insta-commercials.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.  He’s mad at Hulk Hogan.  So am I.

Tenay and Taz hype tonight’s card.

Eric Bischoff comes out and talks about Mick Foley.  Mick Foley comes out, name drops a bunch of wrestling’s less reputable characters, then says Bischoff is the one person in the business he hates.  They bicker.  It goes on for a while.  Foley is pretty good, but Bischoff ruins it.  Bischoff books Foley vs. Kevin Nash in a No DQ Match tonight.

Abyss and Jeremy Borash are watching on a monitor, scared for their jobs.  Insta-commercials.

Christy Hemme interviews the Knockouts Champion, Tara.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Matt Morgan & Hernandez (c) vs. Team 3D.  Hernandez locks up with Brother Ray.  Hernandez knocks Ray down with a shoulder block.  Ray squashes Hernandez in the corner.  Brother Ray throws Hernandez off the top rope, then drops an elbow for 2.  Devon and Morgan tag in.  Devon takes him down and hits a leg drop for 2.  Morgan drops Devon with a clothesline for 2.  Hernandez tags in and cranks on Devon’s neck.  Hernandez drops Devon with a body block for 2.  Hernandez goes for a superplex, but Devon bites his forehead and knocks him down.  Diving headbutt by Devon.  Morgan and Ray tag in.  Morgan elbows his way out of a go behind.  Ray avoids the Carbon Footprint and hits a German suplex, then hits a Samoan Drop on Hernandez.  Devon comes in.  Reverse 3D on Morgan gets 2.  Hernandez tries to run wild, but fails.  3D sets up the Wassup.  The Nasty Boys come out to push Devon off the top while the referee’s back is turned.  The distraction leads to Morgan hitting the Carbon Footprint on Ray for the pin in 5:06.  The Nastys come in the ring for a beatdown, but the champs return to run them off.  3D fist bumps Morgan and Hernandez.  The match?  It wasn’t too bad.

Jesse Neal vs. Samoa Joe.  Neal jumps Joe immediately and gets T-boned out of his boots.  Joe hammers Neal in the corner, whips him to the other corner, squashes him, and blasts him with a kick.  Neal fights back and tries to get something going.  Joe casually avoids a cross body.  Joe kicks his ass.  Knee to the corner, Muscle Buster, pin in 2:09.  It was short and served its purpose.

Christy interviews Hulk Hogan, who didn’t watch Kurt Angle’s interview earlier.  Because he’s busy booking TNA into oblivion.

Non-Title: “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion AJ Styles (w/Ric Flair).  They lock up and go at it.  Styles throws some chops.  Lots of counters.  Dinero hits a Bionic Elbow, while we’re ripping off old school wrestlers.  Styles bails.  Insta-commercials.  Styles drops Dinero with a shoulder block.  Styles hits a dropkick, which delights Flair so much, he struts at ringside.  Styles clamps on a face lock.  Styles hammers Dinero.  Dinero gets a sunset flip for 2.  Styles goes back to the face lock.  Styles keeps the heat on Dinero.  Dinero fights back and drops Styles with a shoulder block for 2.  Styles rocks him with a kick to the back of the head.  Dinero avoids Styles in the corner and throws a chop.  Styles avoids the Coronation.  Styles goes for a suplex, but Dinero turns it into an inside cradle for the pin!  (6:41 shown).  Styles and Flair beat up Dinero until Samoa Joe makes the save.  Styles chop blocks Joe’s leg and they beat him down.  Dinero gets up and makes the save for Joe, and the two of them clean house.  Security finally breaks it up.  Insta-commercials.  Really good match.

Flair yells at Joe from the ramp while security holds back Joe and Dinero in the ring.  Joe grabs the mic and yells at Styles.  Joe says he’s cashing in his Feast Or Fired title shot at Against All Odds.  Joe and Dinero go after them.  Cut away.

Christy interviews Angelina Love.

Kevin Nash and Eric Young are talking backstage.  Eric Bischoff comes in.  He doesn’t know who Young is.  Young says he’s under contract.  Bischoff tells him to leave.  Bischoff tells Nash to destroy Mick Foley tonight.  Nash wants Bichoff to give Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac contracts.  Bischoff says they’re screw ups.  Inta-commercials.

Earlier tonight, Bischoff told Foley he’d face Kevin Nash tonight.  2 months ago, Foley kicked Nash’s ass.

Christy interviews Mick Foley.  Abyss interrupts, afraid for his job.  Foley says it’ll be fine, but tells Abyss not to interfere tonight.

8 Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match: Tomko vs. Kurt Angle.  Angle hits a suplex, then eats Tomko’s boot.  Angle headbutts Tomko, then clotheslines him out of the ring.  Once back inside, Tomko takes control.  Powerslam gets 2.  Angle rallies and hits the rolling Germans.  Angle Slam gets 2.  They’ve killed that as a finish.  Tomko drops Angle with a clothesline.  Angle hits the rolling Germans again.  Angle clamps on the Angle Lock ’03 for the submission win in 4:31.  Fine little match.

The Knockouts Championship is NEXT!

Highlights of the UK tour are shown.

Foley/Nash video package.

Nash asks Hogan to give Hall and Pac another chance.  He says he’ll take care of Foley tonight, but wants Hogan to keep an open mind.

Beautiful People/Angelina Love video package.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Tara (c) vs. Angelina Love.  They lock up.  Tara takes Love down with a side headlock.  Love rolls her over into a pinning predicament, but Tara turns it back over.  I love that spot.  They do some cool mat work/cradle sequences.  Insta-commercials.  Greco-Roman knuckle lock.  Love gets the better of it.  Love with a schoolgirl out of the corner for 2.  Tara hits a fireman’s carry into a side slam for 2.  They blur Tara’s boobs, so something must have slipped out, or they’re blurring the logo on her gear.  Love counters a Widow’s Peak attempt, but Tara manages to pin her with a cradle (3:03 shown).  They shake hands after the match.  The Beautiful People run in and attack Love.  Tara hesitates, but makes the save.  Tara and Love clean house.

Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac are slinking around the parking lot.  Insta-commercials.

Kurt Angle barges into Hogan’s office and yells at him.  Hogan says he isn’t responsible and Angle is a hot head.  Angle says he’s giving Hogan his last warning.  Hogan tells Angle to leave.

No DQ Match: Mick Foley vs. Kevin Nash.  Foley brings a barbed wire bat.  Nash brings a whole shopping cart full of weapons.  Foley beats Nash’s trash can with the bat.  Nash blocks his shots with a chair.  Nash hits Foley with a hockey stick, then tries to grind the barbed wire into his face.  Foley kicks him in the balls to block it.  Foley hits a running forearm.  Foley picks up the framed picture of him and Abyss.  He hesitates, and Nash drops him with a big boot for the pin in 2:13.  Just awful.  Hall and Syxx-Pac come in through the crowd… and attack Nash!  The fuck?

The show wasn’t bad as a whole, but what the fuck is up with that ending?

TNA iMPACT! 1/28/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 6, 2010 by Grappleholic

The show opens with a “Last week…” video showing all the stupid shit that happened last week.  iMPACT! open, pyro and ballyhoo, Mike Tenay and Taz are our hosts.

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come to the ring.  Hogan calls out Mick Foley.  Wasn’t he fired?  Hogan says he wants to work out the issues between Foley and Bischoff.  Bischoff says he already took care of it by firing Foley.  They go back and forth.  Foley denies putting his hands on Bischoff.  Hogan’s music starts playing while he’s still talking.  Hogan tells Foley to either work things out with Bischoff or walk out of the company.

Jeff Jarrett and Bubba the Love Sponge arrive at the building.  Jarrett says they’re going to talk to Hulk.

Christy Hemme interviews Ken Anderson.  Anderson specifies that he’s “Mr. Anderson,” then issues an open challenge for tonight, and he hopes Abyss will accept.

Tenay and Taz explain the “8 Card Stud Tournament” that will take place at Against All Odds to determine the #1 Contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.  Tonight, we’ll see qualifying matches for that tournament.

8 Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match: Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea) vs. Sean Morley.  They lock up and trade hammerlocks.  Wolfe goes on the offensive.  Morley fights back, but Wolfe drops him with (what I think is) the Divorce Court.  Morley tries to fight back again, but Wolfe awesomely fuck up his arm again.  Morley finally does make a comeback.  Morley hits a full nelson slam and goes up top, but Wolfe springs to his feet and causes Morley to crotch himself on the top rope, then hits the Tower of London for the pin in 3:36.  Good little match.

Jeff Jarrett meets with Hogan and Bischoff, figurative hat in hand.  He says he’ll prove himself by starting at the bottom of the ladder if he has to.  Bischoff has the idea to put Jarrett against Ken Anderson tonight.  Jarrett’s worried about ring rust, but agrees.  Hogan tells Bischoff he’s “stiff” and to tone it down a notch.

Last week, they reenacted the Montreal Screwjob, with Kurt Angle being “screwed” by AJ Styles with help from Ric Flair and Earl Hebner.  Angle then spit in Hogan’s face and threw a fit, probably because he realizes how stupid the booking is.

AJ Styles, Ric Flair, and generic blond bimbo are in their locker room with AJ’s new suits.  They’re planning a 30 day vacation

8 Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match: Daniels vs. TNA World Tag Team Champion Hernandez.  Daniels jumps Hernandez from behind to start the match.  Hernandez hits a long stalling vertical suplex.  Daniels fails at sunset flipping Hernandez and gets Cracker Jacked.  Daniels claws at Hernandez’s eyes, then works a chin lock.  Daniels hits an STO and a Lionsault for 2.  Daniels goes for the Angel’s Wings, but fails.  Daniels sends Hernandez to the floor, but the referee stops him from going after his opponent.  Hernandez comes back in and makes his comeback.  Daniels catches Hernandez up top with the Venus palm strike and goes for a superplex, but Hernandez pushes him away.  Daniels avoids Hernandez’s diving headbutt and schoolboys him (with feet on the ropes) for 2.  Hernandez hits a big shoulder block and his weird gutwrench gut buster for the pin 4:32.  Good little match.

Tonight, Jeff Jarrett vs. Mr. Anderson!

Next, Mike Tenay plays mediator for the Nasty Boys and Team 3D!

Go to ShopTNA.com and buy TNA crap!

Mike Tenay is in the ring.  He introduces The Nasty Boys and Team 3D, who will face off at Against All Odds.  They yell and insult each other while security holds them apart.  There’s a lot of the pot calling the kettle black.  Too long and fairly stupid segment, but I do have a perverse desire to see their train wreck of a match.

Christy Hemme interviews The Beautiful People.  They say Angelina Love is old news and they’re moving on.  Man, Lacey is stupid.

Jeff Jarrett is getting ready for action!

Eric Bischoff fires Bobby Lashley.  “Taking out the trash,” he says.

The Beautiful People vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Tara & TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Awesome Kong & Hamada.  Hamada schools Rayne on how to chop, elbow, and headbutt a bitch to start.  Hamada walks the ropes and hits an arm drag.  The Beautiful People make quick tags and wring Hamada’s arm.  Hamada fights out and tags in Tara, who runs wilde on Rayne.  Standing moonsault gets 2.  Velvet get a cheap shot from the apron and lets the Rayne get the advantage.  Beauts work over Tara.  Kong tags in and kills bitches dead for a minute, then tags in Hamada, who runs wilde and kicks bitches in the head.  Tara slams Lacey.  Hamada hits a moonsault press, but Rayne saves and hits Hamada with the ugly stick.  Kong chases Sky out of the arena.  Rayne gets the pin on Hamada in 4:32.  Decent little match.  I kinda get into the Beautiful People as hot, dumb blonds.  Rayne and Lacey go to beat down Tara, but Angelina Love runs in for the save.

Hulk Hogan talks to Earl Hebner about last week’s bullshit.  Hebner says Angle’s hand hit the mat when Styles reversed the ankle lock, and that counts as a tap out.  Hogan bitches him out.  Hebner says he did it for the money, and he’s apparently mad that he doesn’t get enough credit for screwing Bret.  Hogan suspends him.

Kurt Angle is headed our way!  We see this during another of TNA’s stupid “commercial break breaks.”

Styles and Flair are chilling in the locker room.  The bimbo from earlier brings in more bimbos.  Flair picks the one he likes and they plan to party.

Bubba the Love Sponge talks to Mick Foley.  Foley doesn’t care if he gets fired.

Kurt Angle comes to the ring.  He’s sour about AJ Styles changing his ways.  Angle says he’ll win the 8 Card Stud Tournament and become champion again.  Hulk Hogan comes out.  He tells Angle he got to the bottom of the screwjob, and that he’ll fire Angle if he spits in his face again.  Angle apologizes and they shake hands.  Hogan leaves.  Syxx-Pac and Scott Hall jump Angle from behind.  Rather, Syxx-Pac jumps Angle from behind and Hall slowly waddles his way into the ring to help.  Commercials.

Moments ago, what I just wrote happened!

Security kicks Pac and Hall out of the building.  Pac says “See you next week.”

The Motor City Machine Guns & Brian Kendrick vs. TNA X Division Champion Amazing Red & Generation Me.  Kendrick jumps Red to start.  Typically awesome fast paced X Division match.  There’s no way I could transcribe all of this, so I’ll just enjoy it.  Quick tags and lots of flippy floppyness.  Red goes for the Code Red on Sabin, but Shelley superkicks him.  Guns hit a double team move on Red.  Kendrick makes the blind tag and kicks Red in the head, then shoots into a half nelson cradle for the pin in 2:38.  Awesome little TV spot fest.

With Red down and out, the British Invasion comes out.  Big Rob Terry has the X Division Title shot from Feast or Fired.  They beat up Red some more.  Terry gets ready to cash in, but Magnus tells him to give the title shot to Williams.  They argue about it.  Commercials.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Amazing Red (c) vs. Doug Williams (w/ Brutus Magnus & Rob Terry).  JIP.  Red hits a tornado DDT on Williams for 2.  They cut away to show the argument during the break.  Williams hits the Chaos Theory for the pin after about 30 seconds shown to win the title.  Big Rob doesn’t look happy.

Jeff Jarrett is pacing his locker room.  He’ll be in action tonight!

ShopTNA.com!!!EXCLAMATION!POINT!!

Bischoff and Foley are in the office.  Foley talks about his kid pooping at Chuckie Cheese.  He says he’d rather be the janitor that cleaned it up than work for Eric Bischoff.  Bischoff says he should reconsider, because Foley’s friends Abyss and Jeremy Borash’s jobs depend on it.  Bischoff leaves and walks into AJ Styles’ locker room.  They’re “partying.”  Bischoff says he and Hogan are stuck with Flair in TNA.  Bischoff says they don’t have 30 days off.

The main event is NEXT!

Mr. Anderson Anderson comes out and does his introduction of himself.  Jeff Jarrett comes out to no music and no pyro.  Did the sound guy lose his CD?  Man, that Bischoff really is a dick.  Jarrett hands his jacket off to So Cal Val and we have…

Ken Anderson vs. Jeff Jarrett.  They lock up.  Jarrett lands some blows in the corner and the referee forces him to back up.  Anderson hits Jarrett in the back repeatedly.  Jarrett sends Anderson to the floor, then struts.  Commercials.  Anderson rams Jarrett into the post.  Anderson works over Jarrett’s shoulder and makes lots of covers.  Anderson goes for the Kenton bomb, but Jarrett avoids it and makes his comeback.  Jarrett fights off the Mic Check.  Anderson fights off the Stroke with a low blow and an inside cradle for the pin in 10:47 (commercials included).  Eric Bischoff is shown being pleased by this result.  Mr. Anderson Anderson announces himself as the winner.  Anderson attacks Jarrett some more and drops him with the Mic Check.  Bischoff tells the monitor that Jarrett is going to have a long, hard climb to the top of the mountain.

This was the least horrendous iMPACT! I’ve seen in a while, so I guess I give it a thumbs up.