WWE Monday Night Raw 2/16/09 (Repost)

WWE open, then Lillian Garcia introduces the General Manager of Smackdown, Vickie Guerrero.  She in turn introduces, Edge, who in a strange turn of events last night at No Way Out became World Heavyweight Champion.  As they make their way to the ring, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us LIVE to Spokane, Washington.

Edge throws out some possibilites as to what the R in Rated R Superstar stands for, then he says all the fans were wrong when they thought he was done for the night after he lost the WWE Championship last night.  Then he runs around and acts like a moron.  Vickie tries to speak over loud boos.  She says that since Stephanie McMahon left No Way Out to accompany Shane to the hospital, she became the highest ranking WWE official there.  She says that since Kofi Kingston was physically unable to participate in the Elimination Chamber match, she used her authority to give his slot to someone deserving.  She fails to mention that Edge was the one who made Kofi physically unable to enter the Chamber.  Then she gives her annoying “excuse me” line, and she and Edge make out.  Gross.  Cena’s music hits.  He’s all smiles, even though he lost the title last night after taking everybody’s finish.  Cena congratulates Edge and says he won the match last night fair and square.  He then mentions another possibility for what the R could stand for: Rematch.  Edge says no, because he wrestled in two Elimination Chamber matches last night.  Cena tells them to go back to Smackdown and say hello to Festus and Funaki for him, then gets sick at the thought of Edge and Vickie being intimate together.  Edge recaps his history with Cena, bringing up the time he slapped Cena’s dad.  Cena tells Edge he can’t hide or run from him.  I’m guessing we get Cena/Edge #849 at WrestleMania.

Shane McMahon is backstage.  He challenges Randy Orton to an unsanctioned fight tonight.  Commercial.

WrestleMania hype commercial.

WWE Intercontinental Champion CM Punk & Cryme Tyme vs. William Regal (w/ Layla), Ted Dibiase Jr., & Cody Rhodes.  Punk and Cody start.  They trade hammerlocks.  Cody slams Punk, the Punk nails him with a kick and hits the Go 2 Sleep.  Regal attacks Punk before he can make the cover.  Commercial.  When we come back, the bad guys are getting heat on Punk.  Half assed hot tag to JTG.  Dibiase hits a new version of his move, called the Dream Streak, on JTG for the win at 8:10.  Weak match, with not nearly enough shown on TV.

Stephanie tries to talk Shane out of fighting Orton tonight.  Shane says the fight is happening tonight whether Orton wants it or not.

No Way Out highlight video.

Tonight: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix for the Women’s Championship.

Chris Jericho is in the ring, ripping into Mickey Rourke, then Wrestling Legends in general.  “Rowdy” Roddy Piper comes out.  He puts over Jericho for always speaking his mind and backing it up in the ring.  Now, however, he spends his time blasting legends.  Piper goes on about old times and the life of a legend.  Jericho gets a cheap shot and kicks Piper in the ribs a few times while berating him.

Todd Grisham is backstage with Randy Orton.  Orton says he’ll fight Shane tonight, and he won’t need Dibiase and Rhodes to help him.

Another WrestleMania video, this one highlighting WrestleMania IX.

Jamie Noble is in the ring.  He talks about Chavo Guerrero only lasting nine (WWE for eleven) seconds against Kane at WrestleMania last year.  He said he could last longer, so Kane comes out so we can find out.

Kane vs. Jamie Noble.  Noble tries to fight, but Kane hits the chokeslam for the win at 15 seconds.  Hey, he did last longer than Chavo!

The announcers talking about Shawn Michaels winning his freedom from JBL last night.  JBL (w/ black eye) is on his way to the ring to make an announcement.

Christian returned on ECW last week, and he’s focused on Jack Swagger’s ECW Championship!

Tonight: Randy Orton vs. Shane McMahon in an unsanctioned fight!

JBL comes out.  He doesn’t own Michaels anymore, and doesn’t care.  He’s richer than us.  JBL says he wants to end The Undertaker’s streak at WrestleMania.  Shawn Michaels comes out, and he’s got his HBK strut back.  He blathers for a while, then gets to the point: He should be the one to face Undertaker at WrestleMania.  They agree to face each other next week, with the winner challenging Undertaker at WrestleMania.

Video package recapping the Orton vs. McMahons angle.  Orton and Shane fight TONIGHT!

Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox.  Mysterio was pretty much a one man show last night.  He carried the Raw Chamber match.  Knox beats on Rey and throws him out of the ring.  Commercial.  Back from break, Knox beats on Mysterio.  Rey tries to fight back, but keeps getting shut down.  Mysterio finally manages to escape a bear hug and makes his comeback.  Mysterio hits the 619, but misses the Bombs Away.  Knox catches Mysterio springboarding off the ropes and ties him to the Tree of Woe.  Rey dodges a charging Knox and schoolboys him for the win at 9:43.

Beth, Santino, and Rosa are heading to the ring!

Saturday Night’s Main Event DVD!  BUY IT!  I have it.  I’ll watch it one of these days.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Melina (c) vs. Beth Phoenix (w/ Santino Marella & Rosa Mendez).  Beth attacks Melina with vigor from the opening bell.  Santino has a bit of a new look.  Beth gets a near fall off of a slingshot suplex, then stretches her.  Melina fights back, but takes a vicious backbreaker.  Beth sends Melina out of the ring and distracts the referee while Rosa takes a shot at her.  Mickie James, Candice Michelle, and Kelly Kelly come out and beat up Santino.  Melina gets back in the ring and pins Beth win an inside cradle at 2:51.

Cole and Lawler hype the 2009 Class of the Hall of Fame.  Steve Austin has already been announced.  Joining him in the Hall of Fame are the Funk brothers, Dory and Terry!  They were the only brothers to both be NWA World Heavyweight Champion.  They will be inducted by Dusty Rhodes.  Commercial!

ECW tomorrow night: Christian & Finlay vs. Jack Swagger & Mark Henry.

Stephanie is on the phone urging someone to hurry up and get to the arena.  The call gets dropped.  Damned AT&T.

Next week: JBL vs. Michaels with the winner earning the right to be the next victim of Taker’s streak at WrestleMania.

Shane McMahon and Randy Orton come out and fight.  Shane kills Orton and sets up for the Van Terminator, then Dibiase and Rhodes run in and beat up Shane.  Orton punts Shane.  Stephanie comes out to check on Shane.  Orton RKOs Stephanie.  He looks shocked at what he did.  That explosive diarrhea must have kicked in again.  Triple H runs down and checks on Stephanie as Legacy bails, so I guess they’re finally going to admit that they are married.  Triple H is either mad or retarded.  Fade to black.

One Response to “WWE Monday Night Raw 2/16/09 (Repost)”

  1. […] WWE Monday Night Raw 2/9- WWE Monday Night Raw 2/10- WWE ECW 2/15- WWE No Way Out 2009 / NJPW 2/16- WWE Monday Night Raw 4/5- NJPW “Resolution […]

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