TNA iMPACT! 12/16/10

Video of recent happenings.

“Head Games?”

Earlier today, Ken Anderson was backstage.  He threw a light tantrum for no apparent reason.  Matt Morgan showed up to argue with him.

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Matt Morgan comes out to cut a promo about saving Mr. Anderson from getting boo boos.  Mr. Anderson comes out to retort.  They banter and doctors’ notes and Christopher Nowinski and such.  TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy comes out to make fun of them.  Swearing based insults fly.  Some of it is actually funny.  Heel Hardy is fucking horrible.

Tonight, another Double J Double M A Challenge!  Knockouts Tag tournament!  Morgan & Anderson vs. Hardy & Kazarian!

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Robbie E. (c) (w/ Cookie) vs. Jay Lethal.  Lethal beats up the Shore tard.  Cookie trips Lethal from the outside.  Christy Hemme comes out and kicks her ass.  She handcuffs Cookie to her.  Insta-commercials.  Lethal gets an inside cradle for 2.  Robbie hits a clothesline for 2.  Robbie hits a drop movie thingy for 2.  Cookie screams a bunch.  Hemme punches her in the gut.  Robbie beats on Lethal.  Robbie applies a rear chin lock.  Lethal fights out.  They trade punches.  Lethal hits a suplex.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination and the diving elbow drop for 2.  Cookie screams some more.  Robbie goes for the Flair pin in the corner, but the referee catches him.  Robbie goes up top.  Lethal cuts him off and hits a superplex.  Cookie tries to give Robbie the hair spray.  Hemme takes it away and sprays her with it.  Lethal hits the Lethal Injection for the pin (5:54 shown) to regain the title.  Thank God.  I hope they get rid of those Shore tards now.  Lethal kisses Christy.

Eric Bischoff and AJ Styles watch TV backstage.  Styles criticizes Robbie E. for losing the title.  Bischoff bitches at Styles for losing the TV title.  He tells Styles to get the title back.

Doug Williams talks to someone outside the building.  He encounters his old buddy Magnus.  Magnus says Chelsea is gone and Desmond will be back soon.  YAY!  Williams goes into a trailer, which apparently serves for a locker room in TNA.  AJ Styles jumps him and beats him up.  They fight into the womens’ section of the trailer and encounter Tara (in her bra) and Madison Rayne.  Styles hits Williams with a fire extinguisher.  Madison screams in her horrible voice.  Styles yells “Shut up, hooker!”  Okay, THAT was awesome.  Styles finally finishes beating the shit out of Williams.

Orlando Jordan finds Eric Young, who is wearing the World title belt they threw in the trash.  He has some bimbos with him.  Young seeks guidance from Brian Kendrick for his “first title defense.”

Tonight, Morgan & Anderson vs. Hardy & Kazarian.

Jeff Hardy talks to no one in particular.

Generation Me vs. Eric Young (w/ generic bimbos) & Orlando Jordan.  The girls are from Hooters, so Orlando Jordan comes out dressed like a Hooters girl.  Young decides the match is battle royal for his “title,” so he eliminates the referee.  The referee comes back in to start the match.  Young eliminates Generation Me and Jordan from the “battle royal.”  Generation Me jump Young, then posture for the bimbos.  Jordan comes back in and humps Max Buck.  Jeremy beats up Jordan for queering on his brother.  Bucks work over Jordan.  Jeremy goes outside to hit on the bimbos.  Max goes to straighten him out.  Young hits them both with a dive.  Back inside, Jordan tags himself in and beats up Max.  Jordan applies a neat submission hold (kind of a side Cobra Clutch) for the win in 2:50.  I have to admit, this was pretty funny.

Mickie James asks Eric Bischoff who her tag team partner is.  Bischoff says it’s Miss Tessmacher.  Really?

Madison Rayne and Tara are headed our way.

They show the Beautiful People beating Daffney & Sarita last week.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Tournament – Semifinal: TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne & Tara vs. Mickie James & Miss Tessmacher.  Madison wants to start with Tessmacher.  Tessmacher obliges.  She has huge… arm drags.  She hits some moves.  Madison beats her up.  Madison has on flesh colored panties under a see through skirt.  Madison works the hair, of course.  Madison does her headscissors hump move, then taunts Mickie.  Tessmacher gets a schoolgirl for 2.  Mickie gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Tara hits Mickie with her knee brace.  Madison pins Mickie in 4:31.  There you go.

Kazarian talks to no one backstage.  He runs into Rob Terry, who hasn’t been seen in months.  And he has a match tonight.  And Kazarian wants him to join Fortune.

Still to come, Morgan & Anderson vs. Hardy & Kazarian.

Some guy hands The Pope some money.

Brother Ray comes out and cuts a promo.  He says he’s going to face the biggest, baddest dude in the locker room…

Brother Ray vs. Amazing Red.  Bubba attacks Red with his large body and throws him around.  Ray beats the crap out of Red and heels it up.  Red fights back and hits a missile dropkick.  Red charges Ray in the corner and eats a big boot.  Ray hits the Bubba Bomb for the pin in 3:10.  This was kind of awesome for what it was.  Singles heel Bubba is great.  Ray tries to attack Red with a chair after the match.  Brother Devon comes out to make the save.  The cowardly Bubba runs away through the crowd.

Jeff Jarrett talks backstage.

The Pope gets in his car and leaves.  I don’t understand this angle.

The Hooters bimbos are in the front row now.

Rob Terry vs. Rob Van Dam.  RVD takes the mic before the match and talks about wanting a title shot.  They fuck around a bit, then RVD starts throwing punches.  RVD hits a drop toe hold and tries to keep Terry on the ground.  Terry catches a cross body and hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Terry beats up RVD.  RVD hits the rebound kick.  Terry hits a spear.  Insta-commercials.  RVD takes a bump off the apron into the guardrail.  Back inside, Terry covers for 2.  Terry hits a backbreaker and a body slam for 2.  Terry applies a bear hug.  RVD fights out and kicks Terry in the head.  RVD hits a spin kick and the diving kick, then the Rolling Thunder.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin (5:01 shown).  Not a bad little match.

Tonight, Double J Double M A Challenge!

Jeff Jarrett hype video.

Tonight, Morgan & Anderson vs. Hardy & Kazarian!  Jeff Jarrett’s thing is next!

Jeff Jarrett comes out to his music, but does Kurt Angle’s entrance.  Gunner, Murphy, and a bunch of geeks come out with him.  He has a cut man now!  They do the same shit as last weekend and pick a skinny Puerto Rican named Jose Rios.  Jarrett asks who his favorite wrestler is.  He says “Mickie James!”  Jarrett pie faces him.

$100,000 MMA Challenge: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Jose Rios.  The kid tries to clinch.  Jarrett gives him a bunch of knee lifts and some punches, then applies a rear naked choke for the win in 52 seconds.  Yeah.

The main event is next.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy & Kazarian vs. Matt Morgan & Ken Anderson.  Hardy flips of Anderson.  They blur it out.  Hardy tags in Kazarian.  Kazarian stumbles around like a retard, which somehow is insulting to Anderson for having a concussion.  Anderson beats him up.  Kazarian lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Anderson beats him up some more.  Kazarian falls on Anderson and the bump heads.  Morgan tags in and kicks Kazarian’s ass.  Anderson is selling being concussed.  Morgan hits the revolving elbows in the corner.  The bad guys get the advantage via heel trickery and get the heat on Morgan.  Kazarian cheap shots Anderson and sends him outside.  Anderson comes back in to save Morgan from being double suplexed.  Kazarian sends Anderson into the ref.  Anderson hits the Lambeau Leap on Kazarian.  Morgan hits Kazarian with a leg drop.  Hardy beats up Anderson.  Morgan hits Hardy with the discus lariat.  Anderson goes up top.  Rob Terry comes out and pushes him off.  Anderson crotches himself on the top rope and falls to the floor.  Terry pulls Morgan’s head across the top rope.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate on Morgan for the pin in 6:33.  Fine match.

At least this show wasn’t as bad as Raw was this week.

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