WWE Monday Night Raw 8/2/10

“Last week on Raw…” video.  Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.  Tonight, Randy Orton faces The Miz.  Plus a trailer for Cena’s next shitty movie!

Edge comes out to cut a promo.  He talks about he’s the only person who matters, etc. etc.  He says he’s challenging Wade Barrett to a match tonight.  R-Truth comes out and tries to convince Edge how important the match at SummerSlam is.  He tells Edge to get his head out of his ass.  They bicker.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  The crowd hates this mystery GM bullshit.  iBooker orders Truth out of the ring and says Edge will face Barrett next.  Truth tells Edge he’s on his own and leaves.  Commercials.

Edge vs. Wade Barrett.  They lock up.  Barrett beats on Edge.  Edge rallies and beats on Barrett.  Edge hits a spear in the corner for 2.  Barrett drops Edge with a big boot, then follows with another one that knocks Edge to the floor.  Barrett beats up Edge on the outside, then back in the ring.  Barrett chokes Edge against the bottom rope.  Shouldn’t he be fired?  Cover gets 2.  Barrett applies a rear chin lock.  The crowd is getting behind Edge.  Edge fights out.  Double clothesline spot.  Edge gets rolling and goes for the Edgecution.  Barrett counters, but Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Edge goes up top, but Barrett hits him with a boot and goes for his finish.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge sets up for the spear.  Barrett bails to avoid it.  Barrett calls for the rest of the Nexus to come down.  Edge escapes through the crowd.  It’s a no-contest in about 6 minutes.  It was fine while it lasted.

Tonight, Orton vs. Miz!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Edge is looking for John Cena backstage.  He finds him and asks why Cena didn’t save his ass.  Because you ran away too fast?  Cena calls him on his bullshit.  Edge quits the team.  Chris Jericho appears.  He wants Cena to quit the team.  What a retard.  Jericho challenges Cena to a match tonight, with the loser being off of the team.  Cena reluctantly agrees.

SummerSlam Recall: Bret Hart beating Mr. Perfect for the Intercontinental Championship in 1991.  That’s one of my favorite matches of all time.  Is Shawn is Mr. WrestleMania, Bret should be Mr. SummerSlam.

John Morrison talks to Great Khali backstage, with Ranjin Singh translating.  Morrison realizes he’s getting nowhere and leaves.  Michael Tarver and David Otunga appear.  They imply that they want him to join The Nexus.  Singh encourages Khali to consider it.  Commercials.

Eve Torres, Gail Kim, & Natalya vs. WWE Divas Champion Alicia Fox, Jillian Hall, & Tamina.  Hall and Gail start.  Jillian works Gail’s hair.  Jillian hits a backbreaker for 2.  Fox tags in and hits Gail with a Northern Lights suplex for 2.  Gail fights back against Fox and hits a flapjack.  Natalya tags in and works over Fox.  Natalya hits a double arm suplex hold, but Tamina saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Gail takes out Tamina with a dive to the outside.  Hall throws Gail into the post.  Eve hits Jillian with a baseball slide dropkick.  Tamina clotheslines Eve.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but Tamina saves.  Natala beats up Tamina.  Fox hits Natalya with the scissors kick from behind for the pin in 2:52.  Better than usual divas match.  Fox says she’s the greatest Divas Champion of all time.  That’s not exactly difficult.  She says she’s beaten everyone.  The returning Melina comes out.  Fox bails.  Jillian throws her back into the ring.  Melina kicks her ass.  Ugh, Melina’s back.

Tonight, Jericho vs. Cena in a Loser Leaves the Team Match!

WWE Champion Sheamus is headed our way!  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: Randy Orton beat Jey Uso last week.  Sheamus took out Jimmy Uso, then Orton then RKO’d Sheamus.

Non-Title: WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Goldust.  WWECW revisited!  They actually show footage from their feud last year on ECW!  That feud did wonders for Sheamus.  They lock up.  Sheamus backs Goldust into the corner and slaps him.  Goldust fires back and gets rolling.  Sheamus avoids the palm strike and knees Goldust in the face.  Sheamus hits the Uranage backbreaker, then the pump kick, then the Razor’s Edge (he calls it the High Cross) for the pin in 2:08.  Fun little match while it lasted.  Sheamus cuts a post-match promo about all he’s achieved in the past year.

Cena vs. Jericho is NEXT!  Commercials.

Loser Leaves Team WWE: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena.  They lock up.  Cena backs Jericho into the corner.  The referee gets in the middle of them and Jericho gets in a cheap shot to get the advantage.  Jericho sends Cena outside and throws him into the steps.  Cena barely beats the count into the ring.  Jericho beats up Cena and yells at him to stay down.  Jericho chokes Cena with the ring ropes while Cena looks like he’s asleep.  Shouldn’t Jericho be fired for that?  Cena fights back.  Jericho catches him with an elbow smash and hits the bottom rope decapitator.  Jericho applies a rear chin lock.  Cena escapes and side steps Jericho, who spears the post.  Cena makes his comeback.  When Cena goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Jericho springs up and hits the Codebreaker.  Cena falls out of the ring.  Jericho brings him back in and covers for 2.  Commercials.  Jericho punches Cena down.  Cena goes for the STF, but Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Cena counters that and goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Jericho avoids it and low bridges Cena out of the ring.  Cena makes to the apron, but Jericho kicks him off again.  Jericho rams Cena’s face into the announce table and yells at him.  Back inside, Jericho hits a diving elbow smash for 2.  Cena hammers Jericho with punches .  Jericho knocks Cena down and hits the Lionsault for 2.  Jericho tries to set Cena up on the top rope, but Cena fights him off and hits the diving Fameasser.  Cena hurts his knee, but covers for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjusment again, but Jericho counters into the Walls of Jericho.  Cena counters and goes for the STF.  Jericho taps before it’s even fully applied to give Cena the win in 14:10.  If Jericho wanted off of the SummerSlam team that bad, why didn’t he just quit like Edge did?  Good match, though.  Cena asks Jericho to stay on the team anyway.  Jericho teases coming back to makes peace, but blows Cena off and leaves.

Still to come, Orton vs. Miz!  Commercials.

Moments ago, the Jericho/Cena stuff happened.

Jericho goes into Edge’s locker room.  They verbally fellate each other and make friends.

Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000 saying that Edge & Jericho will faces Cena & Bret Hart next week.  Really?  The Nexus will be lumberjacks.  Fucking idiots.  Why do these idiots keep putting Bret in matches?

Josh Matthews interviews Randy Orton.  He invites Sheamus to sit at ringside for Orton’s match with The Miz.

Cena’s shitty movie trailer is next.  Ugh.  Commercials.

Trailer for Cena’s next shitty movie, “Legendary.”  Cena plays an ex-con who teaches his younger brother how to do amateur wrestling.

Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  Dibiase ducks Khali’s lock up attempt and throws a chop, which is completely ineffective.  Khali destroys him.  Dibiase dropkicks Khali’s knee to take him down and applies a front face lock.  Khali lifts Dibiase and drops him.  Khali hits a clothesline and goes for the big chop.  Dibiase cowers in the corner.  Khali stomps and chokes him.  Maryse distracts Khali to give Dibiase the advantage.  Wade Barrett and Skip Sheffield come out to distract Dibiase.  Khali hits the head chop and applies the vice grip for the referee stop victory in 2:19.  Not bad for what it was.

The Miz is walking backstage!  Commercials.

Cena & Bret vs. Edge & Jericho in a Lumberjack Match next week!

They show the Bella Twins hanging out with Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg.  Retarded shit.

WWE United States Champion The Miz comes out and cuts a promo on Randy Orton.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. Randy Orton.  They lock up aggressively.  Miz backs Orton into the corner, cheap shots him, and puts the boots to him.  Orton drops Miz with a clothesline and stomps him a bunch.  Miz rallies and hits a knee lift for 2.  Orton boots Miz in the face and hits the bottom rope decapitator.  That move is getting really popular lately.  Orton hits a knee drop for 2.  Orton clotheslines Miz out of the ring.  WWE Champion Sheamus comes out and stands on the ramp.  Commercials.  Orton beats on Miz.  Sheamus is still watching from the ramp.  Miz blasts Orton with a boot to the face.  Miz beats on Orton.  Miz hits another boot to the face for 2.  Miz applies a rear chin lock.  Orton fights out and hits the 3.0.  Orton is selling that his knee is hurt.  Miz chokes Orton with his boot, then hits the clothesline to the corner for 2.  Miz beats on Orton some more until the referee makes him stop.  Orton lands an uppercut.  Miz fires back and drops Orton.  Orton lands some punches and clotheslines.  Orton hits the snap powerslam.  Miz rolls to the apron.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Miz backdrops Orton to the floor.  Orton comes back in and Miz hits him with a reverse DDT backbacker into a neckbreaker for 2.  Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere for the pin in 14:15.  Pretty decent match.  Sheamus tries to run in, but reconsiders when he sees Orton is humping the mat.  I don’t blame him.  End of show.

Pretty good show all together.  Nothing that made me really angry.

One Response to “WWE Monday Night Raw 8/2/10”

  1. […] Night Raw 7/27- WWE NXT 7/29- WWE Superstars / TNA iMPACT! 7/30- WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 8/2- WWE Monday Night Raw Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)General Opinions on the State of Pro WrestlingWWE […]

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