TNA Lockdown 2010

Lockdown video package.

TNA presents the most dangerous PPV of the year, Lockdown!

Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers, LIVE from St. Louis (St. Charles), Missouri!  They announce that Douglas Williams couldn’t get out of the UK because of the volcano in Iceland, so he’s been stripped of the title.  That’s no fair.  Also, Syxx-Pac no-showed.  Eric Bischoff is also MIA.

Steel Cage Match: Rob Van Dam vs. James Storm.  The winner gets the man advantage for his team in Lethal Lockdown.  Before Storm gets in the cage, RVD kicks the cage door into his face.  They brawl outside.  Yes, in a cage match.  RVD hits THE MOTHERFUCKING GUARDRAIL LEG DROP OFF OF THE CAGE.  I hereby apologize for my previous bitching.  Storm rams RVD’s head into the ring steps and spits beer on him.  RVD is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  They finally get inside the cage to start the match, after brawling outside for several minutes.  RVD beats up Storm.  He sets up Storm on the top rope and and knocks him down with his diving kick.  Storm manages to hit a hangman’s style neckbreaker and gets rolling, until RVD drops him with a spin kick.  They trade punches, complete with “BOO,” “YAY!” chants.  RVD sends Storm into the cage, slams him, and hits the split-legged moonsault for 2.  Storm spits beer in RVD’s face and spikes him with a DDT for 2.  Storm warms up the band as he readies for his superkick.  Seriously.  They both duck some kicks, then RVD hits one and follows with the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 6:37.  So the babyfaces have the advantage in Lethal Lockdown.  WHY?  Fucking morons don’t know the first thing about wrestling.  The match was okayish.

Christy Hemme interviews Hulk Hogan.  He talks about all of the atrocities committed by Team Flair on the members of Team Hogan.  He says if Team Flair wins, he’ll leave TNA.  GO TEAM FLAIR!

Steel Cage Xscape Match: Homicide vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley.  The winner gets to the the third guy in the X Division Championship match tonight.  Homicide tries to escape immediately.  The Guns kick his ass while Kendrick tries to escape.  The Guns cut him off too.  The Guns run wild and double team both opponents.  Kendrick is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Homicide and Kendrick start working together to counteract the Guns.  The Guns make a comeback and do some more double teaming.  Sabin hits Kendrick with an awesome jumping tornado DDT.  Shelley hits a one legged Codebreaker on Homicide.  Shelley tries to escape, but Kendrick cuts him off.  Guns try to set up the Made In Detroit on Kendrick, but Kendrick fights them off and beats the shit out of Shelley.  Kendrick superkicks Sabin into Homicide, who hits him with the Gringo Killer.  Homicide tells Kendrick they’ll work together, then double crosses him and goes to escape the cage.  Kendrick goes after him, but Homicide gets to the floor first to win it in in 5:00.  It was fun while it lasted.  Homicide advances to the title match tonight.

Kevin Nash/Eric Young video package.

Steel Cage Match: Eric Young vs. Kevin Nash.  Young starts out being abusive and elusive, and does well until Nash gives him a low blow.  Nash hammers Young, but Young is a pugnacious little bastard and just challenges Nash to beat him more.  Nash chokes Young with his foot in the corner.  Young starts fighting back.  Nash chokeslams him.  Young keeps fighting back anyway until he eats Nash’s big boot.  Nash sends Young into the cage like a javelin, drops the straps, and hits the Jackknife Powerbomb for the pin in 4:49.  It was kept short and it wasn’t awful, and Young was a fighter, so I have few complaints.  The referees help Young to the back.  Nash takes the mic and says he’ll be Scott Hall’s partner against Team 3D tonight.

Video package of all of the recent retardedness in the Knockouts division lately.

Knockouts Tale of the Tape.  David Penzer explains the rules.  If Tara or Angelina get a pin, then become Tag champions.  If one of the Beautiful People get the pin, she becomes Knockouts Champion.

Steel Cage Match for the TNA Knockouts Championship vs. the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Angelina Love (c) & Tara vs. The Beautiful People (c) (w/ Lacey Von Erich).  Love spears Sky and beats the crap out of her.  Sky begs off and tags out.  Love hits the World’s Strongest Slam on Rayne for 2.  Rayne hits a jawbreaker on Love.  Tara tags in and beats up Rayne.  Sky tags back in and Tara puts her in the Muta Lock, then hits a float over suplex for 2.  Rayne cheap shots Tara from the apron to let Sky get the advantage.  Rayne puts Tara in a head scissors and humps the mat.  Hot.  Sky tags in and covers for 2, then gets beaten up.  Tara goes for a moonsault, but Sky moves to avoid it.  Rayne and Love tag in.  Love runs wild.  Tara tags herself in and hits the Widow’s Peak on Rayne.  Sky saves.  Lacey opens the cage door and hits Tara with one of the belts.  Rayne pins Tara to win the Knockouts Title in 4:52.  It was okay.  Love is mad that Tara just lost her title, which she took from Tara in a really convoluted situation to begin with.  Love shakes Tara’s head and goes to leave, then Tara turns on her and rams her into the cage.

Jeremy Borash is with Ric Flair, his team, and the World Champion AJ Styles.  Flair cuts a promo, looking completely crazy.  Styles cuts a promo on the Pope.

Three-Way Steel Cage Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Homicide vs. Kazarian vs. Shannon Moore.  Kazarian and Moore double team Homicide.  Poor guy, he’s been getting that a lot tonight.  Homicide gets destroyed and bumped into the cage a bunch.  Kazarian goes for a cover, but Moore breaks it, then they double team Homicide some more.  They start to wrestle each other and doe a series of pinfall reversals.  Homicide makes a comeback and the crowd kinda gets behind him. Homicide hits an Exploder on Moore.  Kazarian covers him.  Homicide breaks it.  They all fight.  Homicide’s skull hits the cage again.  Ouch.  Kazarian and Moore set up a double superplex, but Homicide counters them and hits a double Ace Crusher off the top!  Cover on Moore gets 2.  Cover on Kazarian gets 2.  Cover on Moore gets 2 again.  Kazarian reverse cradles Homicide, then Northern Lights suplexes Moore.  Covers get 2.  Moore hits a corkscrew moonsault on Homicide for 2.  Kazarian hits a missile dropkick on Moore for 2.  Homicide sets up Moore for an Ace Crusher off the top.  Moore pushes him away.  Moore and Kazarian fight on the top rope.  Moore drops Kazarian and hits a moonsault body block on Homicide for 2.  Kazarian powerbombs Moore into the cage.  Kazarian goes for the Flux Capacitor on Homicide, but Homicide fights him off and hip tosses him off the top rope.  Moore covers Kazarian, but Homicide breaks the cover with a diving headbutt.  They fight some more.  Moore misses a Blockbuster.  Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer on Moore.  Kazarian prevents it and hits an Axe Guillotine Driver on Homicide for the pin in 9:09.  Pretty awesome little match.  Kazarian wins the title, but the actual belt is in the UK.

Christy Hemme interviews The Pope.

Team 3D comes out.  Brother Ray says the match is going to a Saint Louis Street Fight, Falls Count Anywhere.  Yes, a Falls Count Anywhere Steel Cage Match.

Steel Cage St. Louis Street Fight: Team 3D vs. Kevin Nash & Scott Hall.  3D meets The Band on the ramp and they start brawling.  They brawl on the ramp, in the crowd, and at ringside.  Ray gets knocked down at ringside.  Hall and Nash get Devon in the cage and double team him.  Hall and Nash hold the door closed to keep Ray from getting in.  Ray throws a chair at the door, then rams the door into Nash’s head.  Ray comes in and beats up Hall and Nash.  WASSUP headbutt to Hall.  “GET THE TABLES!”  Hall gets 3D’d through the table.  Devon gets the pin in 6:51.  It wasn’t awful.

Angle/Anderson video package.  You can only win by escaping the cage door, and Anderson has the key.

Steel Cage Match: Ken Anderson vs. Kurt Angle.  Anderson lands the first punch and gets the early advantage, then immediately goes to unlock the door.  Angle cuts him off, then Anderson wraps the key chain around his fist and punches Angle.  He goes for the door again, but Angle backdrop suplexes him.  The key is now in the padlock.  Anderson flapjacks Angle into the cage.  Angle is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Anderson rams Angle’s head repeatedly into the cage, then spreads Angle’s blood on his chest.  Kurt is bleeding like a mofo.  Anderson beats down Angle and goes for the door again, but Angle cuts him off.  Anderson THROWS Angle into the cage door.  Anderson beats up Angle.  Anderson looks to be busted open too.  Angle hits a belly to belly suplex off of the top rope!  Anderson chokes Angle with his wrist tape.  Angle being a bloody mess makes the visual even greater.  Angle fights out and hits another backdrop suplex.  They trade punches.  Angle drops Anderson with some clotheslines.  They counter finishes.  Anderson hits the Lambeau Leap, goes for a pin, realizes he can’t, and goes for the Mic Check.  Angle counters and hits several rolling Germans.  Angle considers leaving, then decides to put Anderson in the ankle lock instead.  Anderson fights free and hits the Mic Check.  Anderson opens the door, then gets Angle Slammed.  Angle re-locks the door and throws the key out of the cage.  Why?  That’s the only way you can win, idiot!  Anderson realizes he’s fucked.  Anderson tries to climb out of the cage, even though “you can’t win the match that way,” says Tenay.  Angle FUCKING GERMAN SUPLEXES ANDERSON OFF THE TOP ROPE!  “THIS IS AWESOME!” chants.  Angle climbs to the top of the cage and HITS A FUCKING MOONSAULT.  IT LOOKED LIKE HE LANDED ON ANDERSON’S FUCKING HEAD!  Angle opens the cage.  The fuck?  Was there an extra key nobody knew about?  Anderson flips him the double bird.  Angle goes after Anderson, but gets hit with the Mic Check.  Anderson tries to crawl out the door, but Angle locks him in the ankle lock.  Anderson taps out, but it doesn’t count.  Anderson flips out and sends Angle into the cage.  Anderson tries to escape again, but Angle chokes him out with a chain of some sort.  Crowd chants “CHOKE HIM OUT!”  Angle steps out to win it in 20:54.  Fucking crazy match, and really good, key questions aside.  Angle takes the mic and says he’s going to be taking some time off, but when he comes back, he’ll regain the World Championship.

Pope/AJ Styles video package, followed by the Tale of the Tape.

Steel Cage Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: AJ Styles (c) (w/ Ric Flair) vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Earl Hebner forces Flair to go to the back before the match starts.  JB does introductions, including a ridiculously over the top intro for The Pope, and we’re off!  They lock up and Styles throws Pope across the ring.  They do some nice chain wrestling.  Dueling chants of “POPE IS PIMPIN’!” and “LET’S GO AJ!”  Pope slams Styles around.  Styles chops Pope in the corner.  Pope turns it around a punches him.  Styles goes for an inverted atomic drop out of the corner, but Pope clotheslines him.  Styles drops Pope with a shoulder block.  Pope drops Styles with a forearm and hits some Dusty Rhodes-style elbows.  Styles sends Pope into the cage.  Styles does the leapfrog, drop down, dropkick bit, then locks Pope in a rear chin lock.  Styles works Pope’s leg.  Pope avoids the Phenomenon, ramps Styles into the cage, and hits a DDT.  Pope is selling his shoulder.  He gets his offense rolling anyway.  Styles goes for the leapfrog, drop down, dropkick again, but Pope catches him with a powerslam.  Styles pokes Pope in the eye and hits a diving forearm smash for 2.  Pope fights Styles off on the top rope and hits a diving headbutt for 2.  Styles hits the Pele kick for 2.  Styles hits a backbreaker and the springboard 450 for 2.  Styles climbs to the top of the cage and goes for a cross body, but Pope avoids it!  Pope schoolboys AJ for 2.  Pope hits the Codebreaker for 2.  Styles avoids the Elijah Express, then reaches through the camera hole in the cage and grabs a pen from the camera man.  Styles jabs Pope in the eye with the pen and hits a discus lariat and the Styles Clash for the pin in 13:35.  Really good match.

Eric Bischoff arrives at the building and refuses to speak to Jeremy Borash.

David Penzer explains the rules of Lethal Lockdown.

Lethal Lockdown Match: Team Hogan (Abyss, Jeff Jarrett, Jeff Hardy, & Rob Van Dam) vs. Team Flair (Sting, Beer Money, & Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea).  Abyss and Robert Roode start.  Taz says Abyss has a hairline fracture in his hip from being hit by the car on Impact.  Abyss and Roode brawl.  Abyss totally wiffs a big boot.  Abyss tosses Roode around a bit.  Roode catches Abyss with a boot in the corner and hits a Blockbuster.  After 5 minutes, Rob Van Dam comes in, because TNA is retarded and the babyfaces have the man advantage.  RVD beats up Roode.  RVD monkey flips Roode out of the corner, then points his thumbs at himself.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder.  The cut on RVD’s head from the opener starts bleeding again.  Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea) comes in for Team Flair to make it a fair fight for the heels.  The heels manage to make a comeback.  Jeff Jarrett enters and beats up the poor overwhelmed heels.  Roode powerbombs Jarrett, then catapults him into the cage.  Wolfe tries to take Abyss’ ring.  James Storm comes in to even it up for the heels.  He spits beer in Abyss’ face, then wails on Jarrett and RVD.  RVD is bleeding badly again.  When it’s time for Jeff Hardy to come out, they reveal that Sting has KTFO’d him backstage.  The six guys in the ring brawl.  Sting comes in for Team Flair and beats the finally disadvantaged babyfaces with his bat.  Sting calls for the ceiling of weapons to be lowered onto the cage.  Lethal Lockdown begins!  The heels beat up the faces with weapons.  BEER!  MONEY!  They do their pose, then knocks Jarrett into the door and out of the cage.  Beer Money beats up Jarrett on the outside IN A FUCKING CAGE MATCH.  Abyss spreads thumbtacks on the mat and tries to chokeslam Sting, but Storm comes in and breaks a beer bottle over Abyss’ head.  Team Flair celebrates their not yet attained victory.  Jeff Jarrett finally comes out, wielding a Singapore cane.  He wails on Beer Money outside of the cage.  Jarrett comes off the top rope and nails Wolfe with a guitar.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash on Wolfe.  Sting tries to knock Abyss onto the tacks, but Abyss catches him and chokeslams him on the tacks.  Hardy climbs to the top of the cage.  Beer Money go up to meet him.  Hardy fights them with the remains of his cane and a trash can lid.  Beer Money then start to beat up Jeff, because there’s 2 of them up there.  Hardy fights them both off, drops Roode with the Twist of Fate, lays out Storm on a table, and sets up a fucking ladder.  Hardy comes off the ladder and splashes Storm through the table on top of the fucking cage.  Ric Flair comes out and attacks Abyss.  Flair tries to take the ring from Abyss.  Man, that ring must be really small on Abyss for it to be so stuck on there.  Hulk Hogan comes out and grabs the bat.  Eric Bischoff runs out and bitches at Hogan.  Bischoff teases handing a pair of brass knuckles to Flair, then hands them to Hogan instead.  Hogan decks Flair repeatedly with the knucks.  REALLY?  Once and he should have been fucking knocked out.  Hogan throws a bloody Flair into the cage a bunch of times.  Flair hulks up and takes his shirt off.  Hogan punches Flair, who flops around and takes a bump into the thumbtacks.  Hogan kills Flair some more.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Wolfe for the pin in 30:15.  This match was horribly booked and the action wasn’t that great, so fuck it.

Sacrifice, next month on PPV!

There were a few good matches, but the Russoriffic retard booking and inconsistencies hurt it a lot for me.

One Response to “TNA Lockdown 2010”

  1. […] Raw / TNA iMPACT! / ROH 4/13- WWE NXT 4/15- WWE Superstars 4/16- WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 4/18- TNA Lockdown 2010 4/19- WWE Monday Night Raw / TNA iMPACT! / ROH 4/20- WWE NXT 4/22- WWE Superstars 4/23- WWE Friday […]

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