WWF Royal Rumble 1989

WWE open, since this is the anthology version.  The World Wrestling Federation: What The World Is Watching!  Old school PPV opening video hyping the Royal Rumble.

Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are our announcers, LIVE from The Summit in Houston, Texas.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

2/3 Falls Match: Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) & The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Hart Foundation & “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.  It’s “International Rules,” whatever that means.  The powerhouses, Bravo and Neidhart, lock up.  They break and lock up again a couple of times, then Bravo grabs a side headlock.  Bravo shoulder blocks Neidhart to no effect.  Twice.  Neidhart ducks a clothesline and hits Bravo with ones.  They both avoid elbow drops.  Hacksaw tags in to a big pop.  Raymond Rougeau tags in to boos.  Hacksaw slams Raymond and hits a knee drop, poses, then tags in Bret.  Bret rings Raymond’s arm.  Bret leapfrogs Raymond and inside cradles him for 2.  Bret with a sunset flip for 2.  Bret with a cross body for 2.  Jacques tags in, hugs Raymond, then clubbers Bret’s back.  Hart drops Jacques with a clothesline for 2.  All six guys end up fighting in the ring.  The babyfaces clean house.  Jacques Irish whips Bret and Raymond low bridges him out of the ring.  Bravo tags in and hits the side suplex, then tags in Raymond.  Raymond pins Bret at 5:25 after a Doomsday-style Bombs Away.  The Rougeaus beat up Bret some more.  Jacques gets 2 off of a dropkick.  Bret takes his chest first hump into the turnbuckles.  Bravo tags in and covers for 2.  Bravo hits an inverted atomic drop for 2.  Raymond tags in and puts the boots to Bret.  The Rougeaus double team Bret some more.  Bravo puts Bret in a bear hug.  Crowd chants “USA!”  Bret is Canadian, morons.  Jesse totally calls them on it.  Bret fights out.  Bravo makes the tag to Raymond.  Bret gets a sunset flip for 2.  Raymond puts the boots to him some more, then locks him in a camel clutch, then transitions to pulling his hair.  Neidhart tries to save, but Raymond goes right back to the camel clutch.  Bravo tags in and beats up Bret some more.  Bravo whiffs him with a clothesline for 2, then tags in Jacques.  Jacques puts Bret in a Boston crab.  Neidhart gets the hot tag, but the ref didn’t see it!  Raymond puts Bret in an abdominal stretch.  Jacques cheats to help him get leverage while Bravo distracts the ref.  The Rougeaus take turns stretching Bret’s abdomen.  Bret manages to hit an atomic drop on one of the Rougeaus and makes the hot tag to Hacksaw.  Hacksaw runs wild on the French Canadians.  He slingshots Neidhart into a splash on Raymond then Bret does the same.  Hacksaw pins Raymond in 13:56 to even it up at 1-1.  After the rest period, Hacksaw beats up Raymond some more.  Since Hacksaw is an idiot, he gets caught in the heel corner and beaten up.  Jesse totally calls him on it.  I love Jesse.  The heels get heat on Hacksaw.  Bret gets the lukewarm tag and runs wild.  Bret hits a backbeaker on Bravo and goes up for the elbow, but a Rougeau pushes him off.  Some shenanigans happen, Hacksaw whacks Bravo with the 2×4, and Bret gets the pin in 18:42.  Really fun match.

We see Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil) drawing his Royal Rumble number.  He looks displeased.  He calls in Slick to talk to him about something.

The Bushwhackers draw their numbers.  They both get numbers they’re happy with, then swap.

The Honky Tonk Man draws his number and looks pissed.

Bad News Brown draws his number and says “It’s good news for Bad News!”

Demolition draw their numbers.  They say they’re gonna have a long night.

Jack Roberts draws his number.  He says something I couldn’t hear.

The Rockers draw and wish each other good luck.

Mean Gene Okerlund is in the ring to conduct a stupid waste of time pose down.  Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan) comes out and cuts a promo.  His opponent is the Intercontinental Champion, The Ultimate Warrior.  Warrior does his usual entrance running around and shit.  What, no Warrior rant?  Heenan bitches about something.  They pose.  I fast forward.  Heenan sprays something in Warrior’s eyes, then Rude beats the shit out of him with some kind of workout bar thing.  The heels leave.  Refs and guys in suits come out to check on Warrior.  He beats them up, then runs to the back.  Whatever.

WWF Women’s Championship Match: Rockin’ Robin (c) vs. Judy Martin.  Robin’s music is hilarious.  Sherri Martel challenges the winner, then leaves.  Robin beats up Martin.  Sherri joins the commentators.  She’s terrible.  Robin dominates until Martin catches her in the gut somehow.  Martin beats Robin up for a bit.  Robin tries a cross body, but gets slammed down.  Robin works the legs a bit and puts Martin in a Boston crab.  They Martin turns it into a cradle.  Robin turns it into another cradle.  Martin fucks up an inside cradle for 2.  Robin hits an elbow drop for 2.  Martin holds onto the ropes to avoid a dropkick.  Martin tries a front suplex, but Robin lands on her feet.  Martin holds onto the ropes to avoid a reverse cradle.  Martin hits a clothesline for 2.  Martin beats up Robin some more.  Robin hits a DDT for 2, then misses an elbow drop.  Martin misses an elbow drop.  Robin tries to slam Martin, but Martin slams her for 2.  Martin gets a backslide for 2.  Robin hits a kick to the middle for 2.  Robin gets an inside cradle for 2.  Fuck.  Robin hits a diving cross body for the pin in 6:25.  This was fucking painful.  Robin’s music is still hilarious.

Sean Mooney interviews Slick, with the Twin Towers.  Mooney asks Slick about his dealing with Dibiase.  Slick feigns ignorance.  Mooney shows him the video we saw earlier.  Slick tells Mooney it’s none of his business.

Mean Gene interviews Rick Rude and Bobby Heenan.

Pre-recorded interviews with Mr. Fuji, Miss Elizabeth, and Jimmy Hart.

Jesse Ventura is sitting in a throne and talking.

King Haku (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Harley Race.  Race comes out and tips over Haku’s platform that his chair is carried out on, then kicks his ass.  The winner is King and gets Heenan, I think.  Race beats up Haku, then hits a suplex for 2.  Race taps him with another clothesline and knocks him out of the ring.  Haku counters Race and sends him into the post.  Haku hits Race with chops of the Mongolian and knife edged variety.  Heenan cheers whoever is on offense.  They fight in the ring some more.  Haku whips Race into the turnbuckles and Race does the Flair flip out of the ring.  Haku beats up Race some more.  Haku’s strikes are awesome.  They trade headbutts.  I don’t care if you are Harley Fucking Race, you NEVER headbutt a Samoan!  Does Tongan = Samoan?  Is it close enough?  Race hits a piledriver for 2.  Harley takes another bump out of the ring.  Haku suplexes Race back into the ring for 2.  Race avoids an elbow drop and hits a suplex for 2.  Race throws Haku out of the ring.  Race goes for a piledriver on the floor, but gets backdropped.  Haku rams Race’s back into the ring.  Race gets his piledriver on the floor.  Back inside, Race hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Race hits a clothesline and a headbutt for 2.  Haku makes his comeback.  He slams Race and goes for a diving headbutt, but Race avoids it.  Race capitalizes by… missing a diving headbutt.  Haku connects with a thrust kick for the pin in 9:02.  It was kinda good at first, then it kinda fell apart.  Haku is still King, and does in fact come with crown as illustrated.  Nobody will get that joke.

Pre-taped interviews with Brutus Beefcake, Greg Valentine, Mr. Fuji for the Powers of Pain, Big John Studd, Mr. Perfect, and WWF Champion Randy Savage.

Gorilla and Jesse talk, then Mean Gene interviews Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil).

Sean Mooney interviews Bobby Heenan, The Brain Busters, and Andre the Giant.

Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan.

Howard Finkel explains the Royal Rumble Match.

Royal Rumble Match: #1 is WWF Tag Team Champion Demolition Ax!  #2 is… WWF Tag Team Champion Demolition Smash!  They say “fuck it” and start brawling.  After 2 minutes of them beating the hell out of each other, #3 is Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Heenan immediately leaves because no managers are allowed at ringside.  Demolition double team Andre.  Andre conks their heads together just as #4 comes out.  It’s Mr. Perfect!  Perfect fights everybody.  Andre throws Smash out.  Ax and Perfect try to get Andre over, but no dice, so they just beat him up.  Ax and Perfect start brawling.  Perfect takes the front bump into the turnbuckles.  Andre chokes Ax, then headbutts the crap out of Perfect.  Andre beats up both of them.  #5 is Ron Garvin.  Garvin, Perfect, and Ax all try to get Andre out.  Still no dice, but Andre does his classic “get tied up in the ropes” bit.  Andre fights everybody off.  #6 is Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart).  Valentine joins team everybody in everybody vs. Andre.  Andre throws Garvin out.  Perfect slams Ax, then helps Valentine try to beat up Andre.  Andre chokes Valentine and Perfect goes back to fighting Ax.  Ax clotheslines Perfect and goes for Andre again, but just gets choked for his trouble.  Perfect pulls Andre’s hair.  Andre chokes Perfect.  #7 is Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  He goes straight for Andre, as they’re currently feuding.  Andre chokes Roberts.  Garvin clubbers Andre from the time.  Andre is still beating the world.  #8 is “Outlaw” Ron Bass!  Andre tosses Roberts.  Bass beats up Perfect, then gets beaten up by Ax.  Andre squashes Perfect and Valentine in the corner.  Andre chokes Valentine some more.  #9 is Shawn Michaels, in his first Royal Rumble!  He goes after Bass.  Perfect eliminates Ax.  Perfect tosses Michaels, who debuts his iconic Rumble spot of skinning the cat back in.  Michaels dropkicks Perfect and almost eliminates him.  Andre chokes Bass, then bear hugs him.  Valentine takes more shots at Andre.  #10 is Bushwhacker Butch.  Jake Roberts comes back in and throws the snake in the ring.  Andre eliminates himself to avoid the snake.  Jake takes Damien and leaves.  The five guys still in the ring brawl.  #11 is the Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart).  Honky and Bass beat up Butch, then Perfect beats up Honky and tries to eliminate him.  Bass saves Honkey.  Some heels whip Michaels and Perfect into each other.  Honky and Valentine try to eliminate Michaels.  Michaels escapes his predicament and beats up Valentine.  Perfect tries to eliminate Honky.  #12 is Tito Santana!  Tito goes for Mr. Perfect.  Tito runs wild until Bass cuts him off.  Butch tries to eliminate Honky.  Valentine tries to eliminate Tito.  Bass and Valentine try to eliminate Michaels, but Tito saves him.  #13 is Bad News Brown.  Butch and Tito throw Honky out.  Everybody brawls.  Valentine hits an atomic drop on Michaels and almost sends him out of the ring.  #14 is Marty Jannetty.  He brawls with Bass.  The Rockers double dropkick Bass out of the Rumble.  Tito hits the flying jalapeno on Valentine, then he and Butch try to bundle Valentine out.  Valentine pokes Tito in the eye to escape.  #15 is WWF Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage!  Savage goes right after Bad News, kicking his ass before he even takes his sunglasses off.  Valentine clobbers Savage.  Everybody brawls.  It’s almost 2 AM and I’m getting sleepy.  #16 is Arn Anderson (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Savage eliminates Valentine, who had a hell of a run.  Savage and Anderson double team Michaels out of the Rumble.  Jannetty beats up Anderson.  Butch and Tito try to eliminate Perfect.  Savage tries to eliminate Bad News, who kicks the crap out of him.  Anderson stupidly goes up top.  Marty hits Arn and he crotches himself.  #17 is Tully Blanchard (w/ Bobby Heenan).  The Brain Busters double team Butch.  Bad News and Savage are still going at it.  Butch chokes Arn with his foot in the corner.  Marty beats up Tully.  Perfect and Savage fight.  Anderson hits a spinebuster on Marty!  The Brain Busters beat up Marty and struggle to dump him out.  Butch nails Arn.  Tully manages to eliminate Marty.  #18 is Hulk Hogan  Hogan immediately dumps Perfect, knocks the Busters’ heads together, and beats up Bad News.  Savage and somebody dump Tito.  #19 is Bushwhacker Luke.  Brown eliminates Butch.  Savage and Bad News brawl some more.  Hogan press slams Tully into the top rope, then fights with Luke.  Luke and Tully double team Hogan as Bad News and Arn double team Savage.  Hogan knocks Tully and Luke’s heads together, then hits Arn with a big boot.  #20 is Koko B. Ware.  Bad News tries to eliminate Savage.  Arn and Luke beat up Hogan.  Koko fights Bad News.  Arn goes up top and Hogan throws him off.  Hogan eliminates Koko, then Luke.  #21 is The Warlord (w/ Mr. Fuji).  Hogan eliminates both Brain Busters.  Warlord gets eliminated immediately by a Hogan clothesline.  Brown struggles to eliminate Savage.  Hogan dumps them both out.  Savage comes in and is like “WTF, man?”  Elizabeth comes out and tries to soothe the situation.  They finally shake hands and hug.  #22 is The Big Boss Man (w/ Slick).  He and Hogan are the only two in the ring.  They brawl.  Hogan hits the Axe Bomber and some elbow drops, then shakes Boss Man’s head.  Hogan slams Boss Man.  Boss Man comes back and kicks Hogan’s ass.  Boss Man hits a piledriver.  Hogan avoids a big splash.  #23 is Akeem (w/ Slick).  Hogan, of course, fights them both off.  He slams Akeem.  Boss Man rakes Hogan’s eyes and the Towers manage to get the advantage.  Hogan knocks their heads together and hits a backdrop suplex on Boss Man.  The Towers squash Hogan in the corner, then throw him out.  Hogan pulls Boss Man out of the ring (under the bottom rope) and kicks his ass.  Akeem goes outside to beat up Hogan.  #24 is Brutus Beefcake.  The Towers double team Beefcake.  Ever the poor sport, Hogan low bridges Boss Man out of the ring to eliminate him.  Hogan and Boss Man brawl to the back.  #25 is the Red Rooster.  He and Brutus double team Akeem.  #26 is The Barbarian (w/ Mr. Fuji).  He fights everybody.  Akeem splashes Rooster.  Barbarian beats up Beefcake.  #27 is Big John Studd.  Studd and Akeem go at it.  The other 3 guys fight too.  Brutus chokes Barbarian with the top rope.  #28 is Hercules.  Herc and Brutus double team Barbarian.  Rooster tries to get in the middle of Studd and Akeem and gets shoved down.  Herc tries to get in the middle of Studd and Akeem and gets clubbered by Studd.  #29 is Rick Martel!  Martel tries to get in the middle of Studd and Akeem and gets shoved away.  When we people learn?  Martel goes after Rooster instead.  Beefcake and Hercules work over Barbarian.  #30 is Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil).  See, he bought #30!  Dibiase beats up Hercules and Rooster.  Virgil stays at ringside.  Gorilla and Ventura speculate that he’s allowed to stay because he’s a bodyguard instead of a manager.  Dibiase whips Rooster into the turnbuckles and he Flair flips out of the ring.  Dibiase beats up Hercules.  Hercules beats up Dibiase.  Dibiase begs off.  Hercules beats him up some more anyway.  More guys brawl.  Beefcake puts a Hercules in a sleeper.  Dibiase and Barbarian throw them both out.  Barbarian shoulder blocks Martel into an awkward bump.  Barbarian powerslams Martel and hits a diving headbutt.  Martel dodges Barbarian and dropkicks him out of the ring.  Final four are Martel, Dibiase, Studd, and Akeem.  Martel avoids getting squashed by Akeem and hits him with 2 dropkicks, then tries a cross body, but Akeem catches Martel and eliminates him.  Studd fights both Akeem and Dibiase.  Akeem and Dibiase double team Studd.  Dibiase accidentally gets sandwiched between Studd and Akeem.  Studd eliminates Akeem.  Dibiase tries to bribe Studd.  Studd kinda chokeslams Dibiase into the turnbuckles.  Dibiase tries to get some offense rolling, but Studd kicks his ass.  Studd hits a butterfly suplex, a gutwrench suplex, a clothesline, then throws Dibiase out to win it at 1:05:07.  Virgil tries to jump Studd after the match, but gets his ass kicked.  Studd throws Virgil out of the ring for good measure.  Studd wins the 1989 Royal Rumble!  The Rumble match is always fun.

Mean Gene interviews Randy Savage and Elizabeth.  Savage says everything is still cool with him and Hogan.

Gorilla and Jesse wrap things up, then we get a sideshow to close the show.

The middle part of this show sucked, but the opener was good enough and the Rumble Match is always fun.  It was an easy to watch show.  I’ll call it a fun time and be done with it.

One Response to “WWF Royal Rumble 1989”

  1. […] 1/15- WWF Royal Rumble 1989 2/20- NWA Chi-Town […]

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