WWE Monday Night Raw 3/15/10

WWE open, “Last Monday…,” Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  It’s WrestleMania Rewind night!

Tonight’s guest host, Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out to kick off the show!  Austin says it’s good to be back.  Being back in the ring makes him want to open up a can of whoop ass.  He’s thirsty, so calls for some beers.  He gets the crowd to say “Hell yeah!” a couple of times.  He puts over Bret Hart.  He says tonight he’s going to oversee the contract signing between Bret and Mr. McMahon.  He says he’s going to make sure Vince doesn’t pull any shenanigans.  Okay, he didn’t say shenanigans, but it was something to that effect.  John Cena comes out.  Austin salutes him and leaves.  Big Show comes out, so I guess their match is up first.

John Cena vs. Unified WWE Tag Team Champion The Big Show.  Show comes out sans-belts.  Cena takes the fight to him at first, but Show drops him with the alley oop.  Commercials.  30 seconds into the match.  Show sends Cena out of the ring.  Why is the referee wearing an elbow pad?  Cena drapes Show over the top rope and tries to slam him, but Show lands on top for 2.  Show goes for the Vader Bomb, but Cena avoids it.  Has he EVER, EVER hit that move, even ONCE?  Cena avoids Show in the corner and hits his diving Fameasser, then signals for the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  The WWE Champion Batista comes out.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Show chokeslams Cena for 2.  Really?  Batista is starting to grow hair again.  Cena avoids the KO punch and goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but fails.  Show hits the KO punch for the pin in 7:35.  It was fine.  Commercials.

Sheamus comes out for a match with Evan Bourne, which never officially starts.  Sheamus starts to cut a promo, then drills Bourne with the mic, blasts him with the pump kick, and hits the Razor’s Edge.  Sheamus cuts him promo on Triple H.

Shawn Michaels goes into Austin’s office.  Michaels asks if he thinks he can be The Undertaker.  Austin says he thinks he can, but doesn’t think he will.  Michaels talks about their WrestleMania past.  Chris Jericho comes in.  Michaels says he’s going to destroy Jericho tonight to prove a point to Undertaker.  After Michaels leaves, Jericho tries to convince Austin to call off the match.  Austin tells him to get out of his office.  Commercials.

Non-Title: Kelly Kelly vs. WWE Divas Champion Maryse.  They take turns posing.  Kelly gets the pop, so Maryse jumps her.  Kelly fights back and kicks her ass.  Mayrse hits the DDT for the pin in 1:21.  Whatever.  Maryse beats up Kelly after the match.  Gail Kim and Eve Torres make the save.  Gail hits the Regal Cutter on Maryse.  The Women’s Champion Michelle McCool and Layla run out and jump Gail and Eve.  Eve tries to make a comeback, but Layla trips her.  Michelle goes for a Buzzsaw kick, misses, but nails her with it on the second try.  I’m sure this will lead to some clusterfuck divas match for Mania.  Vickie Guerrero comes out on stage to pose with the heel divas.  Fuck I hate her.

The contract signing is still to come.  Michaels vs. Jericho is NEXT!  Commercials!

San Diego!

Undertaker/Shawn Michaels video package.

Non-Title: Shawn Michaels vs. World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho.  Michaels goes on the attack immediately.  Jericho sidesteps Michaels in the corner and Michaels spears the post.  Michaels hits a knee lift and a Lou Thesz press.  Jericho backdrops Michaels out of the ring.  Jericho works Michaels over.  I love how Jericho actually acts like he’s trying to make a guy submit instead of just doing a rest hold.  Michaels takes a bump into the turnbuckles.  Jericho beats on Michaels some more.  Michaels hits the flying forearm and nips up.  “VINTAGE MICHAELS!”  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Michaels turns it into a cradle for 2.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault, but Michaels gets his knees up.  Michaels hits the diving elbow drop.  Michaels signals for the superkick.  Jericho bails.  Jericho gets counted out at 6:23.  Edge runs out and kicks Jericho’s ass.  Edge takes Jericho to the ring and spears him.  Edge takes the mic and says “Spear!”  The match was good while it lasted.

Still to come, Triple H vs. Randy Orton in a match I never, EVER want to see again.  Plus, the contract signing!

Batista/Cena video package.  Commercials!

Austin’s new movie that they’re plugging looks kind of interesting.  Cole and Lawler put it over.

Clips of the Legacy handicap match from last week.  At WrestleMania, it will be Orton vs. Rhodes vs. Dibiase in a Triple Threat Match!  Why?  Rhodes and Dibiase haven’t had any dissension between the two of them at all.

Orton is putting his wrist tape on.  Josh Matthews comes in to interview him.  Orton says he respects Triple H, but not Rhodes and Dibiase.  At Mania, they’ll find out they’re nothing without him.

Triple H is headed our way.  I’d be slightly less unexcited if he was wrestling someone besides Randy Orton.  Hell, I’d be more excited if he were wrestling “Cowboy” Bob Orton.

WWE Rewind: Triple H and Sheamus brawled last week.

They show highlights of the other two WrestleMania Rewind matches from earlier tonight.

Triple H vs. Randy Orton.  Orton goes on the attack.  Triple H drops Orton with a clothesline.  Triple H hits a suplex and a knee drop for 2.  Triple H holds onto the ropes and avoids a dropkick.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Triple H avoids it and sends Orton outside.  Orton reverses an Irish whip and sends Triple H into the steps.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER off of the steps.  Commercials.  Orton hits the 3.0 backbreaker and does his mat humping RKO set up.  Hunter avoids the RKO and nails Orton with a clothesline.  Triple H nails Orton with the high knee.  Triple H hits the facebuster.  Orton hits a snap powerslam for 2.  Hunter hits the spinebuster for 2.  Hunter goes for the Pedigree, but Orton backdrops him.  Double clothesline spot.  Orton pulls Triple H across the top rope.  Hunter kicks Orton and hits the PEDIGREE OF MURDER.  Legacy runs in and attacks Triple to cause the DQ in 10:01.  They kicks Triple H out of the ring and attack Orton.  Triple H comes back to make the save.  Sheamus appears and blasts Triple H with the pump kick.  Dibiase drags Orton out of the ring.  Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes on the floor.  Sheamus stands tall over Triple H.  Good stuff, and this was one of the better Hunter/Orton matches.

Batista is headed our way!

Hall of Fame hype.  The next inductee is the legendary Gorgeous George!

Cole and Lawler hype the WrestleMania card.

Non-Title: WWE Champion Batista vs. Kofi Kingston.  Batista kicks Kingston’s ass.  Kingston makes his comeback.  Big dropkick to Batista.  Kofi goes for the Boom Drop, but Batista bails.  Kofi slides outside and Batista kicks his ass.  Back inside, Kingston hits the weird Christian rebound kick and goes for a springboard, but Batista murders him in mid-air with a clothesline.  Batista hits the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb for the pin in 2:52.  Poor Kofi.  He gets squashed and he’s not even on Mania.

The contract signing is NEXT!

WrestleMania Recall: Kane Tombstones Pete Rose at WrestleMania XIV.

Pete Rose will be next week’s guest host!  Plus, Randy Orton & Triple H will take on Sheamus, Dibiase, & Rhodes.

Justin Roberts introduces Bret Hart.  It’s so fucking obvious that he’s faking the leg injury.  Roberts introduces Mr. McMahon.  Stone Cold comes out and tells Vince to sit down.  Austin talks about going into the Hall of Fame last year.  They censor “ass” for the second time in the show.  Austin says Stu Hart is going into the Hall of Fame.  Vince agrees, because all of the Harts will be there and they’re “dysfunctional derelicts.”  Vince tells Bret that if he signs the contract and doesn’t show up, he’ll sue him.  Hart says he would beat Vince if both of his legs were broken.  Hart wants it to be a No Holds Barred Match.  Vince agrees.  He says Bret has screwed Bret again.  Bret signs the contract.  Vince signs.  Austin says the match is official.  They censor “ass” again.  Austin starts to leave, but stops on the stage and says he forgot to tell Vince something.  He says he’ll let Bret tell him.  Vince turns around to find Bret’s cast removed.  Bret was faking the leg injury.  Bret says it Vince tries to back out of the match, he’ll sue Vince for everything he’s worth.  Bret says Vince screwed Vince.  Bret wallops Vince with the cast.  TWICE.  Great segment.

All in all, a good Raw that did a great job of building up WrestleMania.

One Response to “WWE Monday Night Raw 3/15/10”

  1. […] Raw / TNA iMPACT! / ROH 3/9- WWE NXT 3/11- WWE Superstars 3/12- WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/15- WWE Monday Night Raw / TNA iMPACT! / ROH 3/16- WWE NXT 3/18- WWE Superstars 3/19- WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/21- TNA […]

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