NWA Starrcade 1987: Chi-Town Heat

Turner Home Entertainment!  So this is probably the original VHS release.  Fuck.

Starrcade ’87: Chi-Town Heat opening montage.

Light show and ballyhoo!  We’re in Chicago on Thanksgiving Day, 1987 (placing yours truly at not quite 3 months old when this show occurred).

Bad Street USA hits!  I already dig this show!

Tom Miller is the ring announcer!

Tony Schiavone and Jim Ross are on commentary!

Sting, The Fabulous Freebirds (w/ Precious) vs. Eddie Gilbert, Rick Steiner, & Larry Zbyszko (w/ Baby Doll).  Gilbert’s hometown is announced as “Every woman’s dream” and Sting’s is announced as “Every man’s nightmare.”  Steiner schools Sting in the early moments.  Sting wipes out Steiner with a dive to the outside, then hits a sloppy missile dropkick back inside.  Hayes and Garvin dropkick the other guys too.  Brief clusterfuck.  Hayes tags in and works Steiner’s arm.  Garvin tags in and does more of the same.  Zbyszko tags in.  Garvin drops him repeatedly with shoulder blocks.  Hayes tags in, tweaks Larry’s nose, and punches him in the face.  Gilbert tags in, gets beaten up, and asks for a time out.  There are no time outs in wrestling!  Sting tags in and works Gilbert’s arm.  Gilbert slams Sting and tags in Steiner, who Sting promptly takes over with an ARMBAR!  Steiner and Garvin go at it a bit.  Zbyszko tags in and beats up Garvin.  The heel team gets heat on Garvin.  Sting gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Zbyszko rakes his eyes and lets Gilbert get the advantage.  Gilbert throws Sting to the floor.  Back inside, Gilbert hits a suplex for 2.  Zbyszko tags in and tries to suplex Sting, but Sting reverses it.  Steiner tags in and cuts off Sting.  Zbyszko tags in and tries to beat up on Sting too.  Hayes gets the even hotter tag and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Hayes hits a bulldog headlock on Zbyszko and covers, but Zbyszko’s legs were all in the ropes.  Hayes applies a sleeper hold.  Gilbert hits a double axe handle from behind.  Zbyszko tags in Steiner as the timer counts down.  Steiner hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Hayes gets an inside cradle on Gilbert, but no pin.  Hayes gets a sunset flip on Gilbert as the time limit expires.  It’s a 15:00 draw in 15:01.  Close enough!  Really fun opener.

UWF Heavyweight Championship Match: “Dr. Death” Steve Williams (c) vs. NWA Western States Heritage Champion Barry Windham.  They shake hands, run the ropes, Doc hits a big hip toss and a press… but Windham avoids a slam and gets a reverse cradle for 1.  They do some awesome mat work and end up rolling out of the ring.  They go back inside.  The crowd is shitting all over this.  Williams hits a backdrop suplex.  Windham hits a gutwrench suplex.  Windham turns a side headlock into a backdrop suplex, but Williams keeps the headlock clamped on.  Windham tries to escape again, but Williams is holding onto it.  Windham finally rolls free.  Williams tries to leap frog Windham, but can’t clear him, and gets accidentally headbutted in the balls.  This is the first time to pop the crowd.  Windham gives Williams time to collect himself and get back up.  Doc is hurting now.  Windham takes over with a side headlock.  Doc counters it and Windham headstands his way free.  Windham drops Williams with a shoulder tackle, then tries a cross body, but Doc ducks and Windham sails to the outside.  Doc’s balls are still hurting.  As soon as Windham gets back in, Williams pins him with an Oklahoma roll in about 6:50.  Fine little match.  I bet they could do a lot better, and I’m sure they did somewhere.

Copy & Pasted from the Starrcade: The Essential Collection DVD review, slightly edited:

Non-Title, Scaffold Match: The Rock & Roll Express vs. NWA United States Team Championship The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette & Big Bubba Rogers).  Rogers jumps Morton before he can climb the scaffold.  When Morton recovers, he climbs up with Cornette’s tennis racket in hand.  This sucks.  Who invented this retarded match?  Rock & Roll Express wins in about 10 minutes.  Cornette sends Big Bubba up the scaffold.  Morton gives him a low blow and climbs down to safety.  This was shit and a complete waste of time.  Yeah, I know this wasn’t a good review, but I really hate this retarded concept.

Championship Unification Match: UWF Television Champion Terry Taylor (w/ Eddie Gilbert) vs. NWA World Television Champion Nikita Koloff.  Earl Hebner is the referee!  They lock up.  Taylor backs Koloff into the corner and gives a clean break.  Repeat, but this time, Taylor wants to give Nikita a cheap shot, but Nikita bitches him down.  Taylor goes with a wrist lock, and Nikita looks at him like “Bitch, what do you think you’re doing?”  Nikita reverses it and applies an ARMBAR!  “An armbar can become a submission hold.”  Really, JR?  I would never have thought so.  Taylor tries to ram Nikita into the turnbuckles, but Nikita counters and does it to him instead.  Nothing Taylor does seems to have any effect on Nikita.  Nikita clamps on a hammerlock, but Taylor gets a rope break.  Nikita transitions into a pinning predicament, but Taylor is still to close to the ropes.  Taylor bails to consult with Gilbert.  Back inside, Taylor shoves Nikita.  Nikita slaps Taylor, then kicks his ass.  Nikita gets another near fall, then Taylor bails again.  Nikita pulls Taylor back in by his hair and hammers on him some more.  Taylor catches Nikita with a knee and tries to get the Flair pin in the corner, but Nikita still kicks out.  Nikita continues working the arm.  Taylor rakes Nikita’s eyes.  Nikita goes back to the armbar.  Taylor tries to beat up Nikita, but Nikita no sells it and gets the Russian Hammer.  Taylor dodges the Russian Sickle and beats up Koloff on the outside.  Taylor attacks Nikita’s shoulder.  Gilbert gets his cheap shot in behind Hebner’s back.  Taylor tries a sunset flip, but Nikita punches him to prevent it.  Taylor tries to suplex Nikita, but gets suplexed himself.  Nikita does the punches in the corner, gets distracted by the referee, and allows Taylor to hit an inverted atomic drop for 2.  Taylor argues with the referee and Nikita schoolboys him for 2.  Nikita backdrops Taylor out of a piledriver attempt and kicks his ass.  Taylor bails.  Nikita follows him and catches a knee when he’s trying to get back in the ring.  Gilbert hits Nikita’s knee with a chair.  Taylor locks Nikita in the figure-four leglock and uses Gilbert for leverage.  The referee finally catches them and forces the break.  Gilbert chokes Nikita behind the referee’s back.  Taylor and Gilbert collide.  Nikita blasts Taylor with the Russian Sickle for the pin in 17:36.  Good match.

Copy & Pasted from the Starrcade: The Essential Collection DVD review, slightly edited:

NWA World Tag Team Championship Match: Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard (w/ JJ Dillon) (c) vs. The Road Warriors (w/ Paul Ellering).  The Road Warriors are challenging for the gold in their hometown.  Hawk dominates Anderson to start.  Tully comes in and quickly tries to bail, but Animal press slams him back into the ring.  He tries to bail again, but Hawk chases him down and throws him back in.  The Horsemen double team Hawk briefly, but Hawk nails a double clothesline to keep the momentum on the Road Warriors’ side.  Hawk press slams Blanchard, but Anderson clips his knee, finally giving the Horsemen a chance.  Blanchard hits Hawk’s injured knee with a chair.  Anderson hits a DDT on Hawk and covers, but Hawk kicks out at one.  Blachard tries to put Hawk in the figure-four, but Hawk counters and keeps fighting.  Anderson and Blanchard take turns beating on Hawk.  Blanchard finally goes lock in the figure-four.  Hawk finally makes the hot tag.  Animal cleans house.  Blanchard knocks referee Tommy Young out of the ring.  Animal backdrops Anderson over the top rope.  Warriors hit the Doomsday Device on Anderson.  Earl Hebner comes in and makes the three count for Animal at 13:24.  New Champions!  But wait!  Tommy Young comes back in.  He saw Animal throw Anderson over the top rope and reverses the decision!  Horsemen win by DQ!  I really liked the match.  It seemed custom made for the Road Warrior sto win the titles in their hometown, and I don’t understand why they didn’t.

Steel Cage Match for the NWA United States Heavyweight Championship: Lex Luger (c) (w/ JJ Dillon) vs. Dusty Rhodes.  Johnny Weaver holds the key to the cage!  There’s some confusing stipulation about Dusty’s career being on the line because he can’t sign something for 90 days.  I didn’t hear an opening bell, but they start fighting.  Oh, it’s clipped, because they announced that five minutes have elapsed after about a minute.  That really blows.  I wonder how many other matches were clipped and I just didn’t notice.  Dusty works Luger’s arm.  Luger fights back and rams Rhodes into the cage.  Sorry, I’m out of it.  Clipping really pisses me off.  Dusty gets BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Luger drops an elbow for 2.  Luger hits a backbreaker and goes for the Torture Rack, but he can’t get Dusty locked in.  Dusty holds on to the cage to escape it.  Luger keeps working Dusty over.  Luger works on Dusty’s arm.  Dusty fights back.  Dusty locks Luger in a sleeper hold.  Dillon hits Johnny Weaver with a chair, tries to unlock the cage, but ends up just throwing the chair in to Luger.  Rhodes DDTs Luger on the chair for the pin (around 12 minutes shown) to win the title.  It was alright, I guess.  I wasn’t especially interested.

Steel Cage Match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ron Garvin (c) vs. Ric Flair.  More clipping.  Fuck.  Garvin works Flair’s arm.  Garvin stomp.  They trade blows.  Flair gets the advantage.  After 2 minutes, 5 minutes has elapsed.  Flair hits a knee drop for 2.  Flair works on Garvin’s leg, then locks in the figure-four leglock.  Garvin reverses it and they get into the ropes to force the break.  More stuff happens while I have to answer an annoying phone call.  Garvin beats up Flair and locks him in the figure-four.  Garvin released the hold and works on Flair’s leg some more.  Flair tries to ram Garvin into the cage, fails, gets rammed into the cage himself.  Garvin hits a diving cross body for 2.  Garvin gets a backslide for 2.  Garvin rakes Flair’s bloody head across the cage.  Garvin chops Flair.  They fight on the top rope.  Garvin headbutts Flair, who crotches himself on the top rope.  Garvin goes for a sunset flip off the top, but Flair sits on it and holds to ropes for 2 until Tommy Young catches him.  Garvin gets the sunset flip for 2.  Ref bunch.  Garvin KO punches Flair for 2.  Flair catches Garvin and rams his head into the cage for the pin (about 18 minutes shown).  It was fine.  I hate clipping.  Flair is the World Champion again.

End credits play over a highlight video.

The show was fine, but the Turner edited department is fucking retarded.  Why would you show every midcard match in full, then clip the top 2 matches?

One Response to “NWA Starrcade 1987: Chi-Town Heat”

  1. […] 3/29- WWF WrestleMania III 11/26- NWA Starrcade 1987 / WWF Survivor Series […]

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