WWE Monday Night Raw 2/22/10

WWE open, Elimination Chamber highlights, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our hosts.  Shawn Michaels will be here tonight.  Will The Undertaker?  Tonight’s guest hosts are Jewel and Ty Murray.

Justin Roberts introduces the new World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho, who benefited greatly from Shawn Michaels’ Undertaker obsession last night.   Jericho brags that he’s going to WrestleMania.  Edge’s music plays and he appears from behind to spear Jericho.  Edge informs Jericho that Jericho is indeed going to WrestleMania… against him!

John Cena comes out.  He says to add him to the list of people Vince McMahon screwed, because he win the WWE Championship last night, only for Vince to book immediate title defense against Batista.  Cena says he wants his rematch right now.  Vince McMahon comes out and talks about his business deal with Batista.  Cena wants his title shot.  Vince says Batista isn’t defending until WrestleMania.  He says that Sheamus also has a rematch coming.  Vince says that Cena will face Batista tonight, and if he wins, he gets the title shot at Mania, but if he loses, Sheamus gets the title shot.  So Sheamus has no say in the matter?  Shouldn’t it be Sheamus vs. Cena for the title shot tonight?  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the week.

WWE Divas Championship Tournament – Final: Maryse vs. Gail Kim.  FINALLY.  Gail gets a quick cradle for 1.  Gail avoids Maryse in the corner and drops her with a clothesline for 2.  Gail fires some kicks and a European uppercut, then a shoulder block into the corner.  Maryse sends Gail into the top turnbuckle.  Gail goes for her move, but Maryse holds onto the ropes to avoid it.  Maryse hits a kick for 2.  Maryse goes for her DDT, but Gail turns it into a jackknife hold for 2.  Maryse avoids a diving cross body and appears to injure her neck.  They both make it to their feet.  Maryse goes for the DDT again, but Gail inside cradles her for 2.  Gail tries a victory roll, but Maryse hot shots her into the top rope, then hits her DDT for the pin in 2:49.  Very awkward match, but they tried.  At least they finally did the damn match.

Cena vs. Batista tonight!  Will The Undertaker show up to confront Shawn Michaels?  Commercials!

WWE Magazine plug.

There’s a mechanical bull in the arena that the divas are going to ride.

Ty Murray talks to the Bella Twins.  Jewel talks to Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly.  Jewel has an injured her ankle riding a mechanical bull.  Jillian Hall and Alicia Fox interrupt.  Hall tells Jewel she’s a famous singer, then sings horribly.  Jewel sings it decently.  Hall insults her.  Jewel slaps the shit out of her.  Yay!

Cody Rhodes tells Randy Orton that he knew Ted Dibiase Jr. was going to screw Orton last night.  Orton tells him it’s okay, it’s his fault for what happened last night because he taught them too well, but has been a poor leader.  Legacy is in a six-man tag tonight.  Orton says to tell Dibiase he’s sorry.  Orton leaves and Dibiase comes in.  Dibiase asks Orton if they’re sticking to the plan.  Rhodes says “Absolutely.”  Commercials:

Slam of the Week: Ted Dibiase pinning Randy Orton in the Elimination Chamber last night.

Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, & Yoshi Tatsu vs. Legacy.  Dibiase and Yoshi start.  Yoshi hits some kicks and arm drags.  Tag to Bourne.  They double Dibiase for 2.  Rhodes tags in and Bourne kicks the crap out of his legs.  Bourne gets a cradle for 2.  Bourne hits a clothesline and goes up top, but Rhodes gets up to stop him.  Rhodes hits an Alabama Slam for 2.  Commercials.  Dibiase turns Bourne inside out with a lariat for 2.  Tag to Kingston, who runs wild on Dibiase.  “Controlled frenzy!”  Orton drops Kofi to prevent the Boom Drop.  Tag to Orton, who punishes Kingston.  Orton hits the 3.0, that “Vintage backbreaker!”  Rhodes tags himself in.  Orton plants him with the DDT OF MURDER to a big pop.  Dibiase screams at Orton.  Orton drops him with the RKO at ringside.  Kingston tags in Yoshi, who has his bit against Rhodes, then tags in Bourne.  Bourne hits the Shooting Star press on Rhodes for the pin in 9:51.  Legacy has finally exploded!

Cena vs. Batista TONIGHT!  Undertaker?!?!?!?!?!?!???  We’ll answer that very short question with far too many punctuation marks NEXT!

They show the recent history between Michaels and The Undertaker, going from Michaels’ challenge for a rematch at the Slammy Awards and ending with Michaels screwing Undertaker out of the World Championship last night.

Shawn Michaels comes to the ring and says he did what he had to do.  He expects a reaction.  Undertaker comes out wearing the bad ass WrestleMania XIV robe thing since his trench coat got caught on fire last night.  Undertaker says Michaels has his attention.  Michaels says he wrestled nearly a perfect match last year.  Michaels wants the rematch.  Taker accepts, on the condition that Michaels puts his career on the line.  Michaels agrees, because “If I can’t beat you at WrestleMania, I have no career!”

Batista vs. Cena TONIGHT!

Christian is headed our way!  It appears he and Yoshi Tatsu have both signed with Raw.  Commercials!

WWE Rewind: The Money In The Bank Ladder Match from WrestleMania 25.

The briefcase is hanging above the ring.  The announcers talk about Michaels vs. Undertaker.

As Christian comes out for his match, they show a promo from Christian’s NXT rookie, Heath Slater.  During Carlito’s entrance, they show a promo from his rookie, Michael Tarver.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Christian vs. Carlito.  Carlito practically runs to the ring.  Carlito hits a DDT on the ring apron (ouch) for 2.  Carlito actually looks like he gives a fuck tonight.  Christian flapjacks Carlito.  Christian does his weird shit with the opponent on the ropes and slips in the process.  Christian hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Carlito avoids a cross body and hits a move.  Christian with the reverse DDT backbreaker thing for 2.  Christian goes up top, but Carlito pulls him down and hits a neckbreaker drop for 2.  Christian goes for the Killswitch.  Carlito counters and goes for a springboard elbow.  Christian catches him and goes for it again.  Carlito counters again, but Christian sends him into the turnbuckles, then finally hits the Killswitch for the pin in 3:01.  This was kind of a clusterfuck.

Divas Bull Riding is NEXT!

Justin Roberts introduces the guest hosts, Jewel and Ty Murray.  They talk, then we have the stupid divas bull riding.  Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, and the Bella Twins ride the bull.  Waste of time.  Thankfully, the Unified Tag Team Champions, Big Show and The Miz, come out.  Jewel yodels.  Murray challenges Big Show to ride the mechanical bull.  Show asks the divas to hold his tag belts.  They refuse, so he calls them rude.  Well, they are.  Show fails at riding the bull, and it’s hilarious.  Miz says it wasn’t fair.  Murray makes fun of him.  The mechanical bull taunts Show.  Show yells at it.  Big Show KO punches the bull.  Jewel calls it “stuffed animal cruelty.”  Hilarious stuff.  Jewel and Murray tell Show Miz they’ll defend the titles against MVP and Mark Henry NEXT!

Batista vs. Cena TONIGHT!

WWE.com plug.  There’s also a miscued graph promising a Bret Hart update NEXT!

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz (c) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter & Mark Henry.  Daniel Bryan is shown watching backstage.  Henry’s shoulder is taped up from the bump he took through the barricade last night.  MVP gets the better of Miz to start.  Tag to Show.  Show spear!  Show rips MVP’s outfit, chops him, and hits the Hog Log.  Tag to Miz.  MVP gets beat up, then forces Miz to eat a Yakuza kick sandwich.  Tags to Show and Henry.  Henry hits headbutts and squashes Show in the corner, which hurts Henry’s shoulder.  Miz dives at Henry, but Henry catches him and hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Show KO punches Henry for the pin in 2:46.  Well this wasn’t much of a match.

The Bret Hart update is, in fact, NEXT!

Elimination Chamber highlight package, followed by commercials.

Cole and Lawler plug Murray’s bull riding competition and Jewel’s new single, which I actually like.

The next Hall of Fame inductee is Wendi Richter!  She’ll be inducted by “Rowdy” Roddy Piper!

The show the Bret Hart injury angle from last week.  Vince McMahon says he had nothing to do with the accident.  He invites Bret to Raw next week to say a proper farewell.

John Cena is headed to the ring!

NXT commercial.

Farewell to Bret Hart, next week!  Next week’s guest hosts are CHEECH AND CHONG!  Randy Orton vs. Ted Dibiase NEXT WEEK!

Non-Title: John Cena vs. WWE Champion Batista.  Batista stalls and hits in the ropes.  Batista kicks him in the balls for the DQ in 24 seconds.  So Batista WANTS to face Cena at WrestleMania.  Batista beats the shit out of Cena, leaves, sees Cena getting up, so comes back and beats him up some more.  Various nasty things ensue and Batista finishes with a spinebuster into the post.  Batista starts to leave again, then comes back and wears Cena out with a steel chair.

A very bad show wrestling-wise, but it did a great job of setting up the top matches at WrestleMania, so no complaints.

One Response to “WWE Monday Night Raw 2/22/10”

  1. […] Superstars / TNA iMPACT! 2/19- WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 2/21- WWE Elimination Chamber 2010 2/22- WWE Monday Night Raw 2/23- WWE NXT 2/25- WWE Superstars / TNA iMPACT! 2/26- WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/1- WWE Monday […]

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