WWE Monday Night Raw 2/15/10

WWE open.  It’s Presidents’ Day, so they have a color guard and some teenage girl singing the national anthem.  Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our hosts LIVE from Des Moines, Iowa.  Jerry Springer is the guest host tonight.  Bret Hart will address the fans tonight.  Also, Batista will be in the house to respond to John Cena.

Non-Title: WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Randy Orton.  They lock up, fight, stall, lock up, fight.  Sheamus beats up Orton.  Orton avoids the pump kick.  Sheamus avoids the RKO and bails.  Commercials.  Orton stomps Sheamus.  Legacy comes out.  Sheamus hits a uranage backbreaker.  Sheamus beats up Orton as Legacy looks on from ringside.  Orton fights back.  He stomps Sheamus in the gut.  Ouch.  Orton hits the 3.0 and does the stalking RKO setup.  Sheamus avoids the RKO.  Orton kicks him out of the ring.  Sheamus picks up Orton on the outside but Orton sends him into the post.  Dibase goes after Sheamus, but gets decked.  The ref catches Rhodes attack Sheamus and gives him the DQ win in 8:33.  Legacy argues.  Orton RKOs Rhodes.  Sheamus hits the pump kick on Dibiase.  Orton RKOs Sheamus.

Bret Hart is headed our way!

WWE bullshit fact of the week.

Shot of Des Moines.  There’s more there to see than I expected.

Video of what went down between Bret Hart and Vince McMahon last week.

Justin Roberts introduces Bret Hart.  Bret says he came here to finish things with Vince McMahon, but Vince wasn’t here tonight.  Bret talks about what a scumbag Vince is.  He thanks John Cena for being his friend.  Bret says “goodbye” and leaves.  Backstage, he encounters Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Alicia Fox, Primo (“Say ‘Hi’ to your dad for me.”), Gail Kim, and Evan Bourne, who all show him respect.  He tells Cena there’s nothing left for him to do here (since Vince won’t face him at WrestleMania).  As Bret is getting into his limo, a random blond woman backs her car into the limo door and fucks Bret’s leg up.  Women drivers, I swear.  Bret is taken away in an ambulance.  Commercials.

Moments ago, some bimbo backed her car into Bret Hart’s leg.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. Montel Vontavious Porter & Mark Henry.  MVP kicks Miz’s ass.  Miz kicks MVP in the face.  MVP flapjacks Miz and Yakuza kicks him out of the ring.  Commercials.  MVP takes a little heat from Miz and tags in Henry.  Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam, but Big Show saves with a leg drop.  Show tags in and brawls with Henry.  Henry squashes Show in the corner and tries to slam him, but Show stops it and DDTs Henry.  Show trips over Henry going to the corner, where he tries a Vader Bomb, but Henry avoids it.  MVP tags in and runs wild on Show.  MVP charges Show in the corner and runs into a boot.  Miz tags and covers MVP.  MVP turns it into a crucifix hold to pin Miz in 6:33.  Meh.

The Jerry Springer Show comes to Raw NEXT!

WWE bullshit fact of the week.

Jerry Springer comes out to do his bit, “WWE Superstars’ Most Intimate Relationships Revealed.”  Kelly Kelly is pregnant and doesn’t know who the father is.  Santino Marella (who thinks Jerry is Maury Povich), Michael Cole, and Jerry Lawler are all possibilities.  The Bella Twins come out next.  Nikki claims that Brie is a man.  They get into a cat fight.  Chris Masters also fucked Kelly on that crazy night.  She can’t resist the pecs.  Eve Torres comes out and gets into with Kelly for fucking her man.  Eve has been cheating on the Masterbate with Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh).  Santino wants to know who the father is.  Jerry has paternity test results.  Santino wants to know how that’s possible since it happened 3 days ago.  Jerry says “I’m Jerry Springer.”  Hornswoggle is the father.  Springer says “Fuck this” and leaves.  Lawler tells Springer that they put on this charade to mess with Jerry.  Lawler “reveals” that Springer is having a relationship with Mae Young, who comes out and kisses on him.  Hilarious stuff.  I couldn’t transcribe the whole thing, but definitely go YouTube this.

They show the parking lot where Batista is expected to show up.  It doesn’t look like the same parking lot Bret got ran over in earlier.  Tonight, Batista is to explain himself to Cena, then Cena takes on Triple H!

Kofi Kingston vs. Ted Dibiase Jr.  They lock up.  Dibiase is aggressive this week, having gotten his ass handed to him last week by John Cena.  Dibiase gets knocked loopy by a big dropkick.  Kofi hits a big diving chop, two more chops, a dropkick, clothesline, and the Boom Drop.  Dibiase avoids Kofi in the corner and hits the Dream Street for the pin in 2:58.

The next inductee to the Hall of Fame class of 2010: Antonio Inoki!  It’s surreal seeing New Japan footage on WWE TV again.

Replay of Bret’s leg jobbing to a car earlier tonight.  They show security camera footage.

Elimination Chamber hype video.

Jerry Springer’s “Final Thought.”

John Cena is headed our way!

WWE Slam of the Week: That utterly pointless Batista segment from last week’s Smackdown.

John Cena comes out.  They show Batista’s beatdown of him 2 weeks ago.  Cena talks, then calls out Batista.  Batista appears “Live via satellite.”  They banter.  Batista says he’ll be at Raw next week live and in person.  So this was pointless?  Well of course it was.  Anyway, main event time… NEXT!

Next week’s guest hosts are Jewel and Ty Murray.  Who the fuck is Ty Murray?

John Cena vs. Triple H.  Lock up, headlock, trip.  Seriously, they hit the ropes while Cena had the headlock on and Cena tripped.  Up, shoulder block, back to the headlock.  Triple H fights back.  Shoulder blocks to Cena in the corner.  Cena hits a Fisherman’s suplex for 2.  Hunter avoids Cena’s bulldog.  Cena blocks Triple H’s knee drop and goes for the STF.  Triple H fights out.  Cena whips Triple H out of the ring.  Cena dives off the apron, but Hunter avoids it and Cena hits the barricade.  Hunter goes for the Pedigree, but Cena backdrops him.  Commercials.  Hunter has Cena in a sleeper hold.  Cena makes his comeback.  “VINTAGE CENA!”  Hunter avoids the Attitude Adjustment and hits a clothesline for 2.  Hunter tries for a superplex, but Cena fights him off.  Hunter hits the ropes to make Cena crotch himself.  Hunter tries the superplex again, but Cena uses his power to block it and headbutss Triple H down.  Cena hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Cena goes for the STF again, but Triple H counters and locks in a half crab.  Cena counters it and locks in the STF.  Triple H reaches the ropes to break it.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment again.  Triple H holds onto the ropes to counter it.  Triple H catches Cena with the high knee, then hits the knee to the face and the spinebuster.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree.  Sheamus runs in and hits the pump kick on Triple H to cause the DQ in 11:49.  Cena avoids the pump kick, goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Sheamus counters it and drops Cena with the pump kick.  Sheamus hits the Razor’s Edge on Triple H.  Man, Sheamus came out of this show looking like a beast.

Pretty lackluster Raw, but it wasn’t actively bad and the Springer stuff was fun.

One Response to “WWE Monday Night Raw 2/15/10”

  1. […] Superstars / TNA iMPACT! 2/12- WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 2/14- TNA Against All Odds 2010 2/15- WWE Monday Night Raw 2/16- WWE ECW 2/18- WWE Superstars / TNA iMPACT! 2/19- WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 2/21- WWE […]

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