WWE Monday Night Raw 2/1/10

In Memory of Jack Brisco (1941-2010) graphic opens the broadcast.

WWE open, Raw open.  Tonight, Bret Hart confronts Mr. McMahon!  Also, William Shatner guest hosts!  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our hosts.

Justin Roberts introduces the winner of the 2010 Royal Rumble Match, Edge!  Edge says he’s back, and in the main event at WrestleMania.  He goes on at length about his injury, his beef with Chris Jericho, etc.  He talks about the possibilities for his WrestleMania opponent.  As he finishes his promo, the WWE Champion, Sheamus comes out to the ring.  They banter back and forth.  Sheamus cheap shots Edge and sets up for the pump kick, but Edge ducks, double leg takedown, beats the hell out of him, then spears him.

Shot of Nashville.

Elimination Chamber hype video.  Tonight, we’ll see Qualifying Matches!

John Cena is headed our way!

Bullshit WWE fact of the week.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes clubbers Cena to start.  Cena avoids a knee drop and starts his comeback, but Rhodes turns the spinny backdrop into a reverse cradle for 2.  Cena finishes his comeback.  Rhodes avoids the Attitude Adjustment and hits a front suplex for 2.  Rhodes hits a moonsault for 2.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment for the pin in 2:52.

Clips of the Montreal Screwjob from 1997.

Josh Matthews asks Mr. McMahon if he’s seen Bret Hart here tonight.  Vince says he doesn’t think Bret will show up.  Vince goes into his office and bitches at someone offscreen.  The camera pans left to reveal William Shatner, who says he can’t wait for Bret to embarrass McMahon tonight.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Jack Swagger vs. Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Triple H.  Triple H comes out without the belts, just to make sure we know the tag titles don’t matter.  Swagger starts with some amateur-style mat work.  He does some push ups and poses, then Triple H kicks his ass.  Triple H sends Swagger out of the ring and into the barricade.  Commercials.  Swagger drops Triple H with a DDT for 2.  Swagger keeps up the momentum and goes for abdominal stretch, but Triple H hip tosses him, then throws him out of the ring again.  Swagger hits a powerslam and clamps on a headlock.  Triple H comes back and hits a spinebuster for 2.  Swagger backdrops out of the Pedigree and hits the springboard Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Swagger lifts Triple H up on his shoulder, but fucks around about it too long and allows Triple H to counter him and hit the Pedigree for the pin in 9:09.  Good little match.

NEXT, Randy Orton takes on Shawn Michaels in a Qualifying Match!

Royal Rumble highlight video.

William Shatner does spoken word renditions of WWE entrance themes.  Funny stuff.

Shawn Michaels is sullen and downtrodden.  Triple H comes in, followed by Hornswoggle.  Triple H: “He did what with my music?”  Triple H teases being mad at Michaels, then says he would have done the same things to Michaels given the opportunity last night.  Shawn’s too upset for levity.  Triple H tells him to get over this whole Undertaker business and get himself in the Elimination Chamber.

Randy Orton makes his entrance.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Orton vs. Sheamus from the Royal Rumble and the disintegration of Legacy.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Randy Orton vs. Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Shawn Michaels.  Michaels also buries the tag titles but not bothering to bring them out with him.  They lock up.  Orton backs Michaels into the corner, breaks, and they stare at each other.  Lock up again.  Michaels throws some chops and drops Orton with a neckbreaker.  Michaels goes for an early superkick, but Orton bails.  Looks like he might have hurt his face.  Orton gets back in and goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Michaels counters.  Michaels hits a diving cross body for 2.  Orton hits the 3.0.  Cole brings up Michaels’ history of back injuries.  Orton stomps Michaels.  Orton hits a high dropkick for 2.  Orton attempts a superplex, but Michaels punches him down and hits the diving elbow drop.  “VINTAGE MICHAELS!”  Orton avoids the superkick, Michaels avoids the RKO.  Michaels hits some inverted atomic drops, the flying forearm, and nips up.  Orton schoolboys Michaels for the pin in 6:38.  Good little match.  Michaels is angry.

More clips of the history between Vince and Bret.  The confrontation is TONIGHT!

WrestleMania hype video.

A shot of some music club in Nashville.

Cole and Lawler talk about Shawn Michaels’ woes.

Randy Orton meets up with Ted Dibiase backstage.  Dibiase congratulates him, then apologizes about last night.  Orton just gives him a creepy glare.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Mark Henry vs. Ted Dibiase Jr.  They lock up.  Henry overpowers Dibiase.  Well what did you expect?  Henry drops Dibiase repeatedly and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Dibiase wraps Henry’s arm around the post, then drop toe holds him into the steps.  Back inside, Dibiase goes after the arm.  Cover gets 2.  Dibiase goes for a cross body, but Henry catches him.  Dibiase manages to avoid getting squashed and hurts the arm again.  Dibiase goes for the Dream Street, but fails.  Dibiase hits an armbreaker for the pin in 3:05.

Kofi Kingston takes on The Big Show in the final qualifying match, tonight!

Cole and Lawler introduce a very nice Jack Brisco tribute video.

WWE Slam of the Week: Last Monday, Gail Kim defeated Alicia Fox to advance to the finals of the Divas Championship Tournament.

Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly are talking.  Maryse interrupts.  They talk a bit, then Maryse speaks French.  Gail and Kelly agree that it was weird.

The Miz and Big Show are talking in Shatner’s office.  They want Shatner to give them a tag title shot.  The Straight Edge Society comes in.  Punk and Gallows want their title shot too.  Shatner comes in as “Raw Match Negotiator.”  Shatner books DX vs. Show & Miz vs. Punk & Gallows for the titles next week, plugs Priceline, then tries to freeze frame, to the confusion of everyone else there.

Triple H tells Shawn Michaels to chill and forget about the whole Undertaker business.  Michaels won’t.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kofi Kingston vs. The Big Show.  The United States Champion, The Miz, comes out to join Cole and Lawler on commentary.  Kofi tries throwing kicks at Show’s legs, but Show throws him around.  Kofi manages to sucker Show into crotching himself on the top rope, then dropkicks him off of the apron.  Commercials.  During the break, Show speared Kofi and set to work mauling him.  Show sends Kofi to the outside.  Miz leaves the announce table to taunt him.  MVP jumps the barricade and kicks Miz’s ass.  Show picks Kofi up by the head and puts him on the apron.  Kofi pulls him across the top rope and tries a dive, but fucks it up.  Kofi rallies, ducks a clothesline, and hits Show with some kicks.  Boom Drop gets 2.  Show goes for a chokeslam, but Kofi thumbs him in the eye.  Show accidentally KO punches the referee.  Show disposes of Kofi and tries to take up the ref.  Referee Scott Armstrong comes out and DQ’s Show at 8:18.  Show is upset by this.  He yells that it was an accident.

Clips of the January 4 Bret/Vince confrontation.  Their next confrontation is NEXT!

Shot of Nashville.  They confirm that Kofi Kingston has qualified for the Elimination Chamber.

NASCAR Driver Carl Edwards guest hosts next week!  Plug for the Tag title match.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to introduce William Shatner.  Shatner comes out flanked by the Bella Twins.  Shatner trips on the rope and knocks Lawler down.  They agree that they’re okay.  Shatner introduces Bret Hart.  Bret talks a bit, then calls out Vince McMahon.  Vince struts his way to the ring.  Vince says he doesn’t regret anything he’s done to Bret.  Bret says that’s the first true thing Vince has said to him, and lists some of the times Vince has lied to him.  They go back and forth for a bit.  Vince says Bret is pathetic and has no personality.  My DVD stops because I didn’t account for such a long overrun when I set my recorder.  Off to YouTube to find the rest of the segment!  Vince says Bret deserved to be screwed and he’s not going to put Bret’s father into the Hall of Fame because he doesn’t deserve it.  Bret kicks Vince’s ass.  Bret teases putting Vince in the Sharpshooter, but Batista appears, gently grabs Bret’s head, and lightly punches him.  Crowd wants Cena to make the save, but he’s nowhere to be found.  Batista holds Bret so Vince can spit on him.  Gross.  Fin.

Good show all in all, but my DVD going out before the last segment was over sucked.

One Response to “WWE Monday Night Raw 2/1/10”

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