WWE Royal Rumble 2010
WWE open, awesome Royal Rumble opening video package, pyro and ballyhoo. We’re LIVE from the Philips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia! Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are our hosts.
Savannah introduces the opening match, for the ECW Championship.
ECW Championship Match: Christian (c) vs. Ezekiel Jackson (w/ William Regal). Jackson overpowers Christian to start. Zeke mouths off and Christian slaps him, then bails and gets Jackson to give chase, which allows Christian to gain the advantage. Christian springs to the top rope and takes out Zeke on the outside with a dive. Christian avoids clotheslines and slaps Zeke again. That strikes me as poor planning. Zeke wails on Christian. Christian goes for the Killswitch, but fails. Zeke tries to press slam Christian, but Christian escapes and stands on Zeke on the middle rope, as he is apt to do. Christian slides out, hits a palm strike, and tries to come off the top rope, but Zeke pulls him down and sends him out of the ring. Regal tries to interfere, so the referee ejects him from ringside. Zeke cranks on a neck lock back in the ring. Christian tries to fight out, but Zeke chokeslams him for 2. Zeke hits a stalling vertical suplex for 2. Christian tries to fight back again, but Zeke hits a choke bomb for 2. Sick enzui lariat gets 2. Zeke keeps up the heat on Christian. Christian comes back with a missile dropkick for 2, then goes for the Killswitch but fails again. Christian goes for a diving headbutt, but Zeke avoids it. Zeke hits a lariat for 2. “LARIATO!” says Striker. Zeke hits a backbreaker for 2. Christian avoids Zeke in the corner and hits his through the ropes kick, then a tornado DDT for 2. Zeke hits another lariat for 2. Christian fails the Killswitch again, but jumps on Zeke’s back and clamps on a sleeper hold. Zeke gets hold of him and Oklahoma Stampedes him into the turnbuckles twice. Christian escapes and hits the Killswitch out of nowhere for the pin in 12:01. Good match!
Teddy Long and Tiffany talk in the GM office. Cryme Tyme comes in. They’re mad because the two of them are only allowed one spot in the Rumble match. They say they’ve talked someone into giving them their spot. The call in Great Khali. They tell him he can kiss Tiffany if they can have his spot. Ranjin Singh comes in and explains the situation to Khali. They end up singing “Pants On The Ground.” The Miz comes in, as confused as I am. Teddy says that since there is no Raw guest host present, he’s in charge, so tonight, The Miz will defend the United States Championship against MVP. Khali and Singh sing “Who Let The Dogs Out.”
Randy Orton is sitting in his locker room. Cody Rhodes comes in and tells him that he’ll be there for him tonight, but Ted Dibiase has been talking about winning the Rumble match and going on to beat Orton for the WWE Championship.
Justin Roberts introduces the United States Championship Match!
WWE United States Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter. They go straight at it. MVP gets the first cover off of a clothesline. MVP hits a suplex and floats over for a 1 count. MVP keeps up the offensive. Miz bails. MVP follows him out and drops him across the barricade. Miz gets back inside. When MVP tries to follow, Miz pushes him off the apron and sends him face first into the announcers’ table. Miz puts the boots to MVP on the outside and then back inside. Miz either wears MVP down or gives him a rest with a hold on the mat. MVP makes his comeback. Ballin’ elbow drop. MVP goes for the Playmaker, but Miz counters, then runs into MVP’s Yakuza kick for 2. Miz pulls MVP across the top rope from the apron, goes for knee lift, but MVP hits a shoulder block for 2. Miz avoids the Yakuza kick in the corner and goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but MVP turns it into a front cradle for 2. MVP gets 2 counts with various cradles. Miz bails, but MVP throws him back in the ring. Miz gets an inside cradle for the pin in 7:30. Fine match. Miz taunts MVP with the belt, so MVP gives him the Playmaker.
The Big Show runs into Chris Jericho backstage. Show says Jericho is jealous of Show’s new partnership with The Miz. Jericho runs down the list of all of Miz’s bad qualities, which happen to be some of Jericho’s same qualities. Show says his loyalties are now to himself, and he’ll throw Jericho out of the Rumble if it comes down to it. R-Truth says if Show doesn’t, he will. Jericho looks to Show for backup, but Show has already left.
Randy Orton is walking backstage when he runs into Ted Dibiase. Dibiase tells him the opposite of what Rhodes told him earlier.
Tomorrow night, William Shatner guest hosts Raw! And Bret Hart returns to confront Mr. McMahon! The announcers plug what the video just plugged, then show soldiers in the crowd.
WWE Championship Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Randy Orton. Entrances, intros, and a long stare down. They finally lock up. Orton drops Sheamus with a dropkick, then slithers back to the corner… like a snake! Sheamus clubs Orton down and hits a swank looking arm breaker. Orton bails. Sheamus follows him out, beats him up, and brings him back in. Man, Sheamus is so white he’s almost clear. Orton chop blocks Sheamus and attacks the leg. Sheamus fights back and attacks Orton’s shoulder. Orton works the leg again. Sheamus works Orton’s shoulder again. They trade punches with the “BOO!” “YAY!” bit from the crowd. Crowd likes Orton in this one. Sheamus hits a swank uranage backbreaker for 2. Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Orton slips out and kicks the bad leg twice, sending Sheamus out of the ring. Orton catches Sheamus on the way back in the DDT OF MURDER! Cover, but Sheamus grabs the bottom rope to break the count. Orton sets up the PUNT OF DOOM, but Sheamus bails out of the ring to avoid it. Cody Rhodes comes in through the crowd and attacks Sheamus. The referee politely waits until Orton hits the RKO and covers before calling for the DQ, giving Sheamus the win in 12:26. Good match other than the stupid ref taking so long to call for the bell. Rhodes tries to explain himself to Orton. Orton slugs him and beats his head against the mat. Ted Dibiase runs out to pull him off. Orton punches Teddy and screams at both of them that they’re done, so I guess that means Legacy is kaput. Orton turns around and eats Sheamus’ pump kick.
Shots of Atlanta, plug for one of the Rumble theme songs.
Video package for the feud that is my pick for the 2010 Gooker of the Year Award, Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James.
Tony Chimel announces the Women’s Title match. Michelle McCool comes out and cuts an annoying promo. Layla comes out in her fat suit and pig nose. The real Mickie James runs to the ring, kicks Layla’s ass, and hits the ring for…
WWE Women’s Championship Match: Michelle McCool (c) (w/ Layla) vs. Mickie James. Layla gets on the apron. McCool accidentally nails her. Mickie hits the DDT for the pin to regain the championship in 22 seconds. She drops Layla with a kick and Layla falls on Michelle. Gail Kim, Maria, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, and the Bella Twins bring a huge cake out and hold McCool and Layla for Mickie to throw it in their faces. At least this horrible fucking angle had a satisfying conclusion. At least I hope to God that’s the conclusion.
WWE Elimination Chamber, LIVE Sunday, February 21!
Rey Mysterio is headed to the ring!
Mysterio/Undertaker video package.
World Heavyweight Championship Match: The Undertaker (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. Mysterio goes with his usual big guy match strategy of being abusive and elusive. Undertaker picks Mysterio up and throws him over the top rope to eliminate him from the Royal Rumble Match. Mysterio gets up to the apron and Undertaker punches him off. Mysterio avoids the apron leg drop, but eats it on the second attempt. Mysterio goes for the 619, but Undertaker catches him and goes for the Tombstone. Mysterio wriggles free and kicks Taker in the head. Mysterio tries a springboard cross body, but eats Undertaker’s boot. Taker dismantles Mysterio at ringside. Mysterio avoids a big boot, causing Taker to wrap his leg around the post. Mysterio attacks the leg. Taker goes for a Last Ride on the outside, but Mysterio grabs the ropes and takes Taker down with an Asai moonsault. Taker has a bloody nose. Taker avoids a baseball slide dropkick and THROWS Mysterio into the barricade. Back inside, pissed off Taker dismantles Mysterio. Mysterio takes Taker down. Taker sits up. Mysterio dropkicks him down and hits the springboard guillotine leg drop for 2. Mysterio keeps up the comeback until Taker murders him with a clothesline. Mysterio avoids the Last Ride and hits the 619, dropkick, another 619, then goes for the West Coast Pop, but Taker catches him and drills him with the Last Ride for the pin in 11:08. REALLY good match here.
Backstage, Kane tells Shawn Michaels that his obsession with The Undertaker is unhealthy. Triple H enters as Kane leaves. They agree that tonight, “May the best man win.” Michaels says him and The Undertaker is destiny. Triple H says he’ll have to find another way.
WrestleMania teaser video.
The announcers introduce the awesome Royal Rumble hype video.
Justin Roberts explains the rules of the Royal Rumble that we’ve all known by heart for years.
Royal Rumble Match: #1 is Dolph Ziggler. #2 is Evan Bourne. They both look up at the WrestleMania XXVI sign for a cool visual moment, then go at it. Bourne gets the better of Ziggler with a rana and a big kick. Ziggler lands some punches, dropkicks Bourne, and tries to eliminate him but fails. Bourne ranas Ziggler to the apron, but Ziggler manages to stay in. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag and tries to throw Bourne out again. Bourne drops Ziggler with a kick from the apron and hits a Shooting Star press. #3 is CM Punk (w/ Serena). Punk tosses Bourne, then clotheslines Ziggler out of the ring. Serena hands Punk the microphone and cuts his usual promo, mid-Rumble. The countdown begins and Punk says “Excuse me, it’s Clobberin’ Time.” Awesome. #4 is JTG. JTG runs wild for a minute, then gets eliminated. Punk continues his promo. #5 is Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh). Punk offers to “save” Khali. Khali chops him down and puts him in the head vice. #6 is Beth Phoenix, the second woman to ever enter the Royal Rumble. Khali picks Beth up and gently places her on the apron. Beth kisses him and pulls him out of the ring to eliminate him. Beth clotheslines Punk and kicks his ass. Punk counters her and gives her the Go 2 Sleep. #7 is Zack Ryder. Punk eliminates Phoenix. Punk teases offering to save Ryder, then hits him with the mic, kicks his ass, and eliminates him. Punk continues his promo. #8 is one half of the Unified WWE Tag Team Champions, Triple H, who won the last Rumble match held in Atlanta. Triple H kicks Punk’s ass. Punk hits the knee to the corner. Triple H avoids the bulldog and hits the spinebuster. #9 is the Intercontinental Champion, Drew McInytre. Triple H beats up McIntyre a bit, then tries to Pedigree Punk. Punk counters and goes for the Go 2 Sleep. Triple H counters and eliminates Punk. McIntyre and Triple H go at it. #10 is Ted Dibiase Jr. The young heels double team Triple H. #11 is John Morrison. Morrison runs wild on Dibiase, then goes after his rival, McIntyre. Morrison drills McIntyre with a spinning DDT. Dibiase attacks Morrison and goes for the Dream Street, but Morrison counters and drops Dibiase with a kick. Morrison hits the Starship Pain on McIntyre. Triple H clotheslines Morrison. #12 is Kane. Kane hits the diving clothesline on Triple H, then runs wild on everybody else. Double chokeslam to Morrison and McIntyre. Kane tries to eliminate Dibiase. Triple H saves him, oddly. Kane chokeslams Triple H and tries to eliminate Dibiase again. #13 is Cody Rhodes, who saves his partner. Legacy double teams Kane. Rhodes drops Hunter and McIntyre. Morrison fights Rhodes but gets knocked to the apron. Morrison tries a springboard, but gets caught with a dropkick from Rhodes. Triple H stops Legacy from eliminating Kane. Triple H almost eliminates Rhodes. #14 is MVP, but Miz hits him in the back of the head the United States title belt before he can make it to the ring. Hunter fights Rhodes and Kane fights McIntyre. Morrison hits the Flying Chuck on McIntyre. The referees help MVP out. #15 is Carlito. He runs wild on everyone and hits the Back Stabber on Triple H, McIntyre, and Dibiase. #16 is the United States Champion, The Miz. Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Carlito, then goes after Morrison. MVP comes in and kicks Miz’s ass, eliminates Miz and himself in the process. #17 is Matt Hardy. Twist of Fate to McIntyre. Side Effect to Rhodes. Kane eliminates Hardy. Triple H eliminates Kane. Spinebusters to Rhodes, Carlito, Dibiase, and Morrison. Triple H goes for the Pedigree on Rhodes, but McIntyre takes out his leg. Carlito and McIntyre attack Triple H’s leg. #18 is Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Shawn Michaels. Michaels eliminates Carlito, Rhodes, Dibiase, and Morrison in short order. McIntyre gets in some offense on Michaels. Hunter wakes up for some DX double teaming to eliminate McIntyre. DX stare down. #19 is John Cena. Cena runs wild on DX with his comeback routine, including a double Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena tries the Attitude Adjustment on Michaels. Triple H saves and Pedigrees Cena. Michaels shows what an ingrate he is by superkicking Triple H out of the match. #20 is Shelton Benjamin. Shelton runs wild. Paydirt to Michaels. He tries it on Cena, but Cena lifts him up and eliminates him. #21 is Yoshi Tatsu! Yoshi runs wild for a minute, and is awesome until Cena eliminates him. #22 is The Big Show. He runs wild for about 10 seconds. Cena and Michaels counter each other. Michaels has to do the skin the cat spot to avoid being eliminated, almost is able to head scissors Big Show, but Show drops him on the mat. #23 is Mark Henry. Henry and Show have their big guy fight for a few seconds. Cena hits some shoulder blocks on Show and Henry body slams him. Cena tries to F-U Henry but fails. #24 is Chris Masters. Masters press slams Michaels and tries to put Show in the Master Lock, but Show eliminates him. Henry struggles with Show on the ropes. Michaels tries to help. #25 is R-Truth. Truth eliminates Henry AND Show, then runs wild on Cena and Michaels. #26 is Jack Swagger. Swagger has his turn to run wild. Oklahoma Stampede to R-Truth. Swagger ALMOST eliminates Michaels, who luckily and desperately manages to hold on. #27 is Kofi Kingston. Kofi runs wild. Boom Drop to Swagger, then Kofi eliminates him. Kofi almost gets eliminated himself, but eliminates R-Truth instead. #28 is Chris Jericho, who gets a big pop. Jericho gets his licks in. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Jericho. Michaels hits a DDT on Cena. Michaels hits the diving elbow drop on Jericho. Michaels warms up a superkick, but Kofi nails him with the Trouble In Paradise. Cena eliminates Kofi. Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Cena. #29 is the returning Edge! Edge goes straight for his former partner Jericho, spears everyone, and eliminates Jericho. Edgecution to Cena. #30 is Batista. All participants have entered and there are only 4 left: Michaels, Cena, Edge, and Batista. Batista runs wild and hits spinebusters on Michaels and Cena. Edge spears Batista. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Edge. Michaels hits the diving elbow on Cena and an enzuigirl on Batista. Diving elbow to Batista. Superkick to Cena. Superkick to Batista. Edge clotheslines Michaels and they both go over but manage to stay on the apron. Michaels superkicks Edge back INTO the ring. Batista hits Michaels from behind and eliminates him. Michaels goes crazy, throws a ref into the table, and superkicks referee Charles Robinson. He finally leaves. I hope this means we’re gonna get crazy Shawn Michaels leading to WrestleMania. Cena counters the Batista Bomb. Batista counters the Attitude Adjustment. Cena low bridges Batista out of the ring. We’re down to 2. Edge throws Cena out of the ring to win it in 49:24. Edge celebrates.
I’ll give the show a thumbs up all in all as the undercard was really good (especially Undertaker/Mysterio). The Rumble itself was a little rushed and underwhelming, with way too much “guy comes in, runs wild, gets eliminated.” Still, even a poor Rumble is fun to watch.