A complete chronological list of all of my reviews will be maintained here and updated whenever I post a new review.
Jack Reynolds and Billy Red Lyons are on commentary.
WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (c) vs. “Special Delivery” S.D. Jones. Reynolds that there are a number of “Orientals” at ringside to cover the match. They trade hammerlocks. You’d think Valentine would be the master of that particular hold. Jones shines a bit, throwing the champion around and beating him up. Jones works the arm and lands some headbutts to Valentine’s back. Valentine goes to work on the leg in order to soften up Jones for the figure-four. Jones escapes leg torture and makes his comeback. Valentine bails. Jones follows him out and sends him into the barricade. Back inside, Valentine hits a backdrop suplex for the pin in about 9 minutes. You can’t hear the bell on this show. The crowd is upset, but Valentine won clean as a sheet. Good match. I love me some Hammer Valentine. **3/4
Nikolai Volkoff vs. Rocky Johnson. Punches. Volkoff with a nerve hold. Johnson, the only one with any athleticism to contribute to this match, flies around a bit for Volkoff. Johnson gets a sunset flip that the announcer calls a small package. Johnson with a crab hold, but he almost put Volkoff on top of the ropes in the process. They do a test of strength, then Volkoff goes on the attack. Johnson avoids Volkoff in the corner, then spreads his legs and stomps on him. Looked like it was in the balls to me, but the referee says otherwise. Back and forth. Volkoff with a double axe handle off the middle rope for two. Volkoff hot shots Johnson into the top rope for the pin in about 9 minutes. **1/4
Goldie Rogers & Bobby Bass vs. Dynamite Kid & Davey Boy Smith. They aren’t even called The British Bulldogs at this point! Dynamite with some sweet maneuvering and dropkicking against Rogers to start. Smith shows his power against Bass, then rams Bass’ head into Dynamite’s. Bass tries to tag out. Rogers is reluctant, but eventually obliges. He probably shouldn’t have, as the Bulldogs put a beating on him. Bass comes in and takes a headbutt from iron-skulled Dynamite. Bass tries to make a save and hits his partner. Smith hits the running powerslam on Rogers for 2, then applies a rear chin lock. Rogers and Bass actually cut Smith off and get some heat on him. The interesting part of the match has concluded for the moment. Dynamite gets the hot tag and headbutts Rogers into next week. Bass refuses to tag in. Dynamite goes for a piledriver on the ramp, but gets backdropped. Back inside, Bass tags in and goes for a diving headbutt. Dynamite avoids it. Smith tags in, avoids a headbutt from Bass, and hits a pildedriver. Dynamite tags in. Rogers comes in. Smith gets him up a fireman’s carry. Dynamite comes off of Roger’s back with a diving headbutt on Bass for the pin in about 10 minutes. It was good except for the heat segment. Bulldogs looked great here. **1/2
Steel Cage Match: Kamala (w/ Kim Chee) vs. Andre the Giant. The announcers apparently don’t know Kim Chee’s name, as they keep calling him “Friday,” as in “Man Friday.” Andre beats up Kamala. Kamala rallies, lands a big splash, and doesn’t understand why the referee isn’t counting. The referee is not, in fact, inside the cage. This is a WWF cage match, in which the objective is to run away. Kamala beats up Andre. Andre beats up Kamala. Kamala beats up Andre. Andre is bleeding. Repeat ad nauseam. Andre chokes Kamala. They fight some more. Andre slams Kamala. Andre with an elbow drop. Andre with a really horrible looking failed diving ass drop. Andre leaves to end this in about 14 minutes. Really bad.
Vince McMahon is commentary. Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.
WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Pedro Morales (c) vs. Moondog Rex (w/ Captain Lou Albano). Moondog King failed to unseat Morales last month, so now Rex is taking a shot. Albano is escorted to the back for being crazy or something. Rex holds a headlock for about an hour, then goes to work on the champ’s arm. Vince says that Morales is having more trouble with Rex than he did with King. King beats on Morales for about a week. Morales finally makes a comeback, then gets an inside cradle for the pin in 9:29. 1/2* because it wasn’t completely worthless.
Sergeant Slaughter (w/ The Grand Wizard) vs. Pat Patterson. Patterson is a fiery babyface. He wants some of Slaughter, but Slaughter appears to want none of it. Slaughter sneaks around and tries to jump Patterson from behind, but gets his ass kicked. Patterson fights dirty with chokes, closed fights, and even a bite to Sarge’s hand. Patterson catapults Sarge into the turnbuckles and scores a 2 count. Somebody is blowing a whistle. Is Bill Alfonso around? Patterson applies a crab hold. Back to their feet. Patterson hits a shoulder block and goes for another. Sarge avoids it and sends him crashing to the outside. Slaughter threatens to dive off the top rope to the floor, but thinks better of it and settles for a kick off the apron. Slaughter is trying to win by count out. He covers his ears to drown out the crowd’s boos. Patterson makes it back in and Sarge goes to work on him. Slaughter goes for a diving knee drop, but Patterson avoids it. Patterson locks in a figure-four leglock. Slaughter suffers, but makes the ropes. They brawl outside. Patterson hits Sarge with a chair, which is apparently fine if you’re on the outside. Back inside, Patterson shoves the ref twice. Sarge rakes his eyes. They brawl. Slaughter shoves the ref. Slaughter and Patterson both throw the ref out of the ring. Sarge applies the Cobra Clutch. The ref comes back in and Slaughter immediately kicks him in the groin. Apparently there are rules, as the referee finally calls for the bell. It’s a double DQ in 13:30. Even in 1981, this company hated finishes. Patterson is angry at the ref. Vince assures us that Pat will apologize to the ref once he cools off. **1/2
Steel Cage Match for the WWF Heavyweight Championship: Bob Backlund (c) (w/ Arnold Skaaland) vs. Stan Hansen. Finkel announces that the winner will be the one who successfully runs away. Hansen jumps Backlund immediately, but Backlund throws him into the cage and generally kicks his ass. Back and forth brawl. Backlund hits a piledriver and tries to escape. Hansen hits him the ding ding. Lots of ramming of heads into the cage. Hansen bleeds. Backlund avoids an elbow drop. More brawling. Backlund escapes to win in 8:52. Fun brawl. Hansen is none the worse for wear because a cage match where the objective is to run away is fucking stupid. **1/2
“Pretty Boy” Larry Sharpe & “The Unpredictable” Johnny Rodz vs. Tony Garea & Rick Martel. Martel and Roz start. Both sides tag in and out. The heels, Sharpe & Rodz, cut Martel off and get the heat on him. Garea gets a lukewarm tag. Rodz sucks him and lets him crash into the corner. Now they’re working over Garea. Martel gets a much more lively hot tag and runs wild. Clusterfuck ensues. Martel and Garea send the heels into each other. Martel pins Sharpe with a jackknife hold in 7:05. **1/2
It was way more interesting than the show I watched previously.
After the WWE Network opening, it’s straight to the ring for the first match.
Vince McMahon and Dick somebody are commentating.
WWWF Heavyweight Championship Match: Bob Backlund (c) (w/ Arnold Skaaland) vs. “The Golden Greek” Spiros Arion. It’s been a little over a month since Backlund won the title from Superstar Graham. Vince is positively gushing over his new champion. Arion declines to shake hands. Backlund wins the lock up, then they trade waist locks. Arion uses the ropes to escape danger. Backlund keeps going back to his vice-like waist lock. He gets a near fall off a backslide. Arion resorts to a choke hold to get the advantage, then slams the champion and hammers him with punches. Backlund gets an inside cradle for 2. Arion takes a powder. They do a test of strength. Arion throws a kick, but Backlund catches it and drops him. Arion gets the advantage briefly, until Backlund scores a sunset flip for a near fall. Backlund catches another kick and goes to work on the leg. The crowd responds very well to leg work. Stuff meant something back now, kids. Back on their feet, Arion exposes a turnbuckle and sends the champion’s head into it. For some reason, the referee is completely fine with this. Arion kicks Backlund in the balls and Backlund sells it appropriately. Backlund takes a spill outside and barely beats the count in. Arion finally has the initiative. Backlund escapes a backbreaker and horribly botches a backslide. The champ makes his comeback and hits a piledriver for 2. Backlund sort of bulldog-rams Arion’s head into the turnbuckle, then hits the atomic drop. The ref gets knocked out by Arion’s foot in the process, and is unable to make the count. Backlund goes to check on the ref, giving Arion an opening to jump him from behind. They brawl. Chief Jay Strongbow, Peter Maivia, Stan Stasiak, and another wrestler come out to break up the fight. Another referee comes in and calls for the bell. It’s a double DQ in 17:48. The time is announced at 16:28. This timekeeper was the shits. The match was kind of entertaining. **1/2
We’re back now after intermission.
Ken Patera vs. Bruno Sammartino. Patera jumps Sammartino before the bell. Sammartino rallies and Patera bails. Back inside, Patera misses a knee drop and Sammartino goes after the injured body part like a shark. Patera comes back and misses an elbow drop. Sammartino arm drags him, and Patera bails again. More desultory strong guy punch-kick. Sammartino works a head lock. I’m bored. Patera applies a bear hug. Bruno won’t give up, but I’m tempted to. Unfortunately, the keep fighting. This is my life. These are my choices. They brawl outside. They brawl inside. They brawl outside. Somebody throws a chair. The bell rings. They keep brawling. It’s a double count-out in 14:35 of my life I’ll never get back. They announce the time at 16 something. Could have been 14 minutes, 16 minutes, or 3 days. *
Nikolai Volkoff vs. Haystacks Calhoun. Calhoun is a very large man from Morgan’s Corner, Arkansas, so he’s a man after my own heart. The youngest Nikolai Volkoff I’ve ever seen gets the jump on the larger man. They fight a bit. Calhoun squashes Volkoff in the corner. Haystacks falls on Volkoff for the pin in 2:39. DUD. They actually get the time correct.
And that’s the end. Wow. This was a good use of my time.
If anyone actually reads this and thinks I should keep reviewing stuff, leave a comment or tweet me @TheRealChui.
WWE Old School intro.
Announcer Vince McMahon introduces the show.
Howard Finkel, sporting a powder blue suit and a full head of hair, is the ring announcer.
Jan Nelson vs. Jose Gonzalez. I assume this is the same Jose Gonzalez who would murder Bruiser Brody in a dirty bathroom 11 years later. He’s a big babyface here in New York. An “Old School Flashback” in the bottom right corner informs me that Kanye West was born this month, June 1977. That’s unfortunate for the world. But I digress. Gonzalez is the more experienced grappler, while Vince touts Nelson as a future star. I don’t know that Nelson ever lived up to that. Gonzalez makes the heel Nelson look foolish, and you can hear Nelson Muntz guffaw in the crowd more than a decade before The Simpsons debuted. Lots of good ol’ fashioned arm work in this match. as Nelson works an arm lock for several minutes. Gonzalez fights back with some arm wrangling of his own. Nelson quickly cuts him off and then beats him up. Gonzalez avoids a charge in the corner and makes his comeback. Gonzalez hits four dropkicks and scores the pin in 9:46. *3/4
Rocky Tomayo vs. Larry Zbyszko. Holy crap, Larry is young here. I’ve never heard of Rocky Tomayo. More basic, old fashined grappling. They actually do a bit of chain wrestling, which always makes me giddy. This is actually kind of fun. Larry is a fiery young babyface here, very quick to take Tomayo down and grab a hold. Of course, this is Larry Zbyszko, so there is some stalling. Tomayo endures a lot of trauma to his hamstrings. Larry catches Tomayo with an inside cradle for the pin in 7:30. Man, this referee counts slow. **1/4
Tony Garea vs. George “The Animal” Steele. Fiery young babyface Garea is ready to fight, which befuddles the Animal. Steele stalls a bit, then gets the advantage on Garea by wrestling heelishly. Garea makes a fiery comeback. The referee DQ’s Steele in 7:22 for hitting Garea with a foreign object. Steele continues to lay the beating on. Garea rallies and runs the big man off. **
2/3 Falls: Ken Patera & Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Captain Lou Albano) vs. Andre the Giant & Chief Jay Strongbow. The babyfaces run Albano off during the introductions. This seems to be a grudge match. Patera stalls a long time before getting in the ring to start the match. Vince calls Strongbow a “fired up redskin.” The ’70s were a different time. Strongbow gets Patera in his own hold, the full nelson. Patera escapes. Andre tags in and puts Patera in the full nelson. Patera manages to make the ropes. Volkoff tags in. The heels try to cut off Andre in their corner, but Andre is a giant, so he’s like “fuck that.” Strongbow comes in. Volkoff puts a hurting on him briefly. Andre tags in and bear hugs Volkoff. Volkoff gets free, but Andre punches him the face. Strongbow tags back in and gets caught on the wrong side of town. Andre gets a hot tag at point, but the referee didn’t see it. Heels continue getting the heat on Strongbow. Andre finally gets the tag and runs… well, he doesn’t really run wild, but he wrecks shit like a destructive giant briefly. Clusterfuck breaks out, largely involving Strongbow running into Andre, causing him to shoulder block both heels in the corner. Andre goes for a big splash on Patera, but Patera avoids certain death and makes the tag. Strongbow comes in with a big babyface flurry and locks Volkoff in a sleeper hold. Patera saves, but gets his man DQ’d in 13:46. My stream turns shitty, which is just lovely. After I get it straightened out, Volkoff and Patera get into it at ringside. Presumably, Volkoff is pissed that Patera cost them the fall. Insta-commercials. Strongbow and Volkoff start the second fall. Andre hold Volkoff for Strongbow to hit him, which is illegal. The heels are still not getting along. Patera shoves Volkoff. Volkoff takes a swing at him. Volkoff goes to leave the ring, but Patera clubber his back from behind. Patera leaves. Andre gives Volkoff a big boot and a splash for the pin in a little over two minutes. Finkel gives the total time as 16:25. Fun match. **3/4
Lenny Hurst vs. Stan “The Man” Stasiak. This is Hurst’s MSG debut. I wonder if he ever made it back. Stasiak is a former WWWF Champion, and the father of a guy who would someday run into shit in backstage segments. Stasiak is from Buzzard Creek, Oregon, which is a great name for a wrestling hometown. Vince touts the 225 lb Hurst as the lightest wrestler in the WWWF. I’ll bet he wishes that were still the case today. Anyway, Stasiak is the ornery old heel, Hurst is the fiery young babyface, and they work the match accordingly. Hurst delivers a dropkick that sends Stasiak to the apron. Stasiak comes back in and puts a beating on the young man. Hursts makes his comeback, then eats a boot to the face. Stasiak lands the heart punch for the pin in 7:55. **
Vince interviews WWWF Champion “Superstar” Billy Graham (w/ The Grand Wizard) in the ring prior to his match. I’m almost certain I’ve seen this interview before. “I am the man of the hour, the man with the power, the man too sweet to be sour.”
WWWF Heavyweight Championship Match: “Superstar” Billy Graham (c) (w/ The Grand Wizard) vs. Bruno Sammartino (w/ Arnold Skaaland). Bruno has a mustache and a Jew fro here. I think this is 2 months after Graham took the title from Bruno in Baltimore. Graham taunts Bruno with the belt, and by god, Bruno wants that belt back. The beauty of this is that Graham cheated Bruno out of his belt, so Bruno is PISSED OFF and wants it back. He does not laugh it off and talk about how championships come and go. Bruno attacks Graham to jumpstart the match and MSG comes UNGLUED. Graham manages to subdue Bruno with a full nelson. Vince notes that this hold is attacking Bruno’s neck, which was broken not all that long ago by Stan Hansen. Bruno reverses it and almost puts the champ down with it. Graham manages to avoid having his arm drop the third time and gets to his feet, but Bruno keeps the hold. Graham finally manages to get free and takes a powder. Graham comes back and manages to get the advantage, putting pressure on Bruno’s back and arms. Bruno again reverses Graham’s hold and puts the pressure on him. Graham manages to get some momentum going and puts the boots to Bruno. They work a bear hug for a bit. Bruno takes a spill to the outside, and Graham tries to keep him there. Bruno gets back in and goes on the attack. Graham begs off to no avail. Graham rallies, but knocks down the referee in the process. The guys brawl and the referee tries to break it up, only to get taken down repeatedly. The ref finally calls for the bell in 18:15. It’s a double DQ. Fun strong guy match. **3/4
Baron Von Raschke (w/ Freddie Blassie) vs. Ivan Putski. Putski’s beer belly is a little bit less prominent here than on the last show I saw. Raschke is announced as the “European Heavyweight Champion” 20 years before the WWF actually created a European Championship. These two went to a 20 minute draw previously, so now we’ve got a 30 minute time limit. Oh dear. Blassie is taken to the back before the match starts, for some reason. Raschke has a gimmick in his hand. Putski informs the referee of such. Raschke successfully conceals it on his person. They finally lock up after a lot of stalling. They also work the lockup for a long time. This is going to be a long one. Raschke with some desultory leg work. Putski with a rear chin lock, then transitions into some kind of wonky head scissors hold. Putski finally wakes up and shows some babyface fire. They go back and forth a bit. It goes to a 30 minute time limit draw in 19:13. I don’t care if they lied about the time, I missed some editing, or what. I don’t need to see these two wrestle for another minute ever. Putski, that son of a bitch, calls for one more minute. They brawl a bit. Raschke takes a powder. Long and boring. *3/4
Baron Mikel Scicluna vs. “High Chief” Peter Maivia. Maivia is making his MSG debut. His now-five year old grandson would later go on to some success in pro wrestling and Hollywood. Scicluna gets the jump on him. Maivia quickly rallies and kicks some ass. Scicluna tries to use an object, but fails. Maivia avoids Scicluna in the corner and pins him with a prawn hold in 1:08. It’s announced at 2:09, which is a lie. DUD
2/3 Falls: Dominic Denucci & Haystacks Calhoun vs. Mr. Fuji & Professor Toru Tanaka. Calhoun’s kayfabe hometown is Morgan’s Corner, Arkansas, which endears him to me. I know of all of these guys, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of them wrestle. Denucci and Tanaka brawl. Denucci applies a full nelson and allows Calhoun to hit a lackadaisical punch. Tanaka beats on Denucci a bit. Denucci fires back with Mongolian chops. Fuji tags in and hits a “Kamikazi Necktie” (think Sling Blade) for the pin in 3:06. Denucci makes a comeback as the second fall starts. Tanaka and Fuji double team Denucci in the corner. Calhoun comes in to help out, but only distracts the referee. We’ve got a curfew draw in 1:00 of the second fall! Calhoun comes in to beat the heels up for a bit, having never actually tagged in to the match. Fuji & Tanaka win the match, having won the only fall in a 2/3 falls match. 3/4*
And there’s another 1970s WWWF show from the Network. There’s one more show from the 70s, then we’ll move into the 80s.
“WWE Old School” opening. This is from the WWE Network.
Straight to the ring introductions for our first match. A young Vince McMahon is the play-by-play man. I have know idea who the ring announcer is, but he does the old school “repeat the guy’s last name” thing that Ken Anderson would turn into a gimmick 30 years later.
Paul “Butcher” Vachon vs. “Indian” Jay Strongbow. Yes, “Indian” Jay Strongbow. The ’70s were a different time. Neither of these guys are what you’d call “in shape” by modern standards, but Strongbow is actively flabby. The match is slow, plodding, and exactly what you’d expect from 1970s WWWF. Vachon spends an impressive amount of time working a hold on the neck muscles. Strongbow comes back and slams him around. Vachon heels on Strongbow some more. Vachon bites Strongbow, which is about as heelish as you can get. Vachon gets a near fall, but pulls Strongbow up at 2. He is immediately shown to have been a fool, as he shoots Strongbow into the ropes, but Strongbow catches him with a Thesz press for the pin in 6:26. **
Texas Style Match for the WWWF Heavyweight Championship: Bruno Sammartino (c) (w/ Arnold Skaaland) vs. Spiros Arion (w/ Freddie Blassie). Main event time! You see, back now, the WWWF always puts the champion on before intermission at MSG, so they can announce the main event for the next card prior to the last match. This is announced as a “Texas Style Match,” which I assume means it’s a Texas Death Match. Despite that stipulation, the referee still checks the wrestlers for weapons. Arion takes advantage of the situation by jumping Bruno before the bell, but Bruno immediately rallies and kicks his ass. Arion cuts him off and gets the heat briefly. The style here is pretty realistic, as they largely just kick the shit out of each other. The momentum swings back and forth. Maybe I’m imagining this, but there seems to be a lot of emphasis on liver/kidney attacks and blows to the lower back, which I enjoy a lot. Bruno makes a big comeback with hip tosses and body slams. Arion cuts him off, but Bruno comes back again with another body slam for the pinfall in 11:52. Arion’s foot was in the bottom rope, but the referee didn’t see it. I assume that will lead to a rematch. I also don’t know what was “Texas” about this match. The match time is announced as 14:52. Either they’re lying, or exactly 3 minutes was cut out of this. **1/2
Killer Kowalski (w/ The Grand Wizard) vs. Victor Rivera. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kowalski wrestle. He’s very lanky. The original tape here skips and goes wonky at a couple of points early. Kowalski works the knee. He’s a rather vicious fellow. Rivera attacks Kowalski’s shoulder when the match is going in his favor. At one point, Rivera gets Kowalski tied up in the ropes and beats him up a bit. Kowalski breaks free and bites Rivera. They brawl a bit. Then they bite each other. Kowalski bites Rivera again, and the ref calls for the DQ (13:04 shown). So you’re allowed three bites until you get DQ’d? Rivera is announced as the winner in 15:50-something. *3/4
The Wolfman vs. Ivan Putski. I have no idea who the Wolfman is. Vince refers to Putski as a “one man gang.” He also states that this is Putski’s wrestling debut. I cannot confirm for deny. Putski is 275 lbs., and most of that is his beer gut. I miss fat wrestlers. Putski grabs a headlock and hammers Wolfman in the head. Repeat. Putski with a shoulder block. Wolfman cuts him and wins on him briefly. Putski fights back with punches and headbutts. Wolfman with bites and claws. Putski retaliates in kind. They beat on each other some more. Putski gets the bear hug for the win in 5:51. Fun little mean guy match. ** Wolfman tries to attack Putski after the match, but gets punched in the face. The match time is announced at 6:45. Again, I didn’t notice any editing. Putski drinks beer in the ring 20 years ahead of Steve Austin.
This was interesting. Obviously, modern WWE is very different from 1975 WWWF, but fundamentally, they are very much alike. The psychology of the Bruno match was much like a John Cena match today, and as I mentioned before, the show closed with a beer drinking, working man-type babyface.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,100 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.
This one’s for you, Biscuit.
The show starts with words from the Rumble participants. We are LIVE on iPPV!
Brad Stutts and Amber Gertner are on commentary.
CWF Mid-Atlantic Television Championship Match: Trevor Lee (c) (w/ Chet Sterling & CWF Mid-Atlantic Rising Generation League Champion Ben Tyler) vs. Matty De Nero (w/ Donnie Dollars). According to Stutts, Lee is 19 years old. I think that De Nero (a member of Fatback Enterprises) is the babyface. He hits a cannonball dive onto Lee’s cornermen. He then takes his shirt off, which frightens young Trevor Lee. Lee’s cornermen interfere and get T-bone suplexes for their trouble. Chet Sterling puts an object in Lee’s kickpad, allowing him to KO De Nero and get the pin in 4:24. A little short, but I guess they’ve got the long Rumble coming later.
“Hurricane” Shane Helms appears via video. He talks about going all over the world.
ArenaChicks Tournament Match: “The Rate Tank” Kellie Skater vs. Sassy Stephie. Both of these girls are in the same stable, so the manager comes out with both of them. They wrestle a bit, then accuse each other of cheating and start choking each other. The Coach tries to get them to make up, but they go at each other even more viciously. Stephie does the “hump the other girl’s face into the mat” deal, which always amuses me. The Coach has a whistle, but at least he’s not being Bill Alfonso and blowing it constantly. Coach Gemini? Is that the guy’s name? He keeps switching jerseys based on whoever has the advantage at a given moment. Skater counters Stephie’s “Kiss My Sass” and locks in an ankle lock. Stephie gets a rope break. Skater gets a reverse cradle, but get caught holding the tights. Stephie cuts it back, doesn’t get caught holding the tights, and gets the pin in 10:58. Chasity Taylor(?) tries to interview Skater, but gets shoved down for her trouble.
Commercial for the next iPPV, Ultimate Survivor.
CWF Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Title Match: The Killbillies (c) (w/ Bobby Jo Neil) vs. The Dawson Brothers. The Killbillies are undefeated as a team for 10 months. The Dawsons have apparently won several tag titles in North Carolina, but this one. Evan Banks annoys Zane Dawson my touching his impressive beard, and Zane kicks his ass. Killbillies cut Zane off and work him over. The Dawsons try to cut Banks off, but fail. The Killbillies do not fail to cut off Zane again. Zane knocks Aric Andrews out of the ring, where Dave Dawson outs a hurting on him. The Dawsons get the heat on Andrews. Aric Andrews is an awesome face in peril. Evan Banks gets the hot tag and RUNS WILD~! Dave Dawson grabs Bobby Jo Neil at ringside and gets PBR spit in his face. Evans hits Zane with a knee trembler and a spear for the pin in 14:42. My new favorite tag team, the Killbillies, retain! Good formulaic tag match, very fun.
Video explaining the next match. It’s a bounty match. Coach Gemini has put a bounty on Arik Royal, and Jake Manning is thinking about taking it.
“The Man Scout” Jake Manning (w/ Freight Train) vs. Arik Royal. Manning is a boy scout, but he’s a man, so… he’s a man scout. Will the fine, upstanding man scout do the dastardly thing and injure Arik Royal? Manning offers a handshake. Royal declines. They have a clean sporting match. Manning is apparently a father/big brother figure for Freight Train, a large black man who seems sort of… special. They start clubberin’ each other. Royal injures his knee. Coach Gemini comes out to wave the money in Manning’s face. Manning appears to take the deal, as he attacks Royal’s knee. Manning applies a figure-four leglock. Coach Gemini distracts the referee. Manning grabs a chair and threatens to Pillmanize Royal’s leg. Freight Train tells Manning not to do it. Manning throws out the chair and goes for the figure-four. Royal cradles him for 2, then kicks him in the face for the pin in 11:51. My second favorite match of the night so far. Gemini berates Manning. Freight Train comes in and gives him a hilariously gentle forearm, then takes the money. Royal and Freight Train help Manning up.
Chiva Kid and Ray Kandrack promos.
CWF Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Championship Match: Ray Kandrack (c) vs. Chiva Kid. Chiva Kid is the much smaller man. He’s impressive too. Nice springboard headbutt followed by a standing Shooting Star press. SUICIDE DIVE BY CHIVA KID! Kandrack clotheslines Chiva Kid and the apron and Kid does a 360 bump to the floor. Awesome. Kandrack hip tosses Chiva into the post. Freaking OUCH. Oklahoma Stampede gets 2 for the champion. I’m digging this match. Chiva’s bumping like a madman. Great big man/little man match. Headbutt battle! Chiva Kid makes a comeback and escapes Kandrack’s finish, the Ray Gun (Death Valley Driver). Chiva’s hurting, but he’s still in it. SHOOTING STAR PRESS! KANDRACK KICKED OUT! I thought that was it. Kandrack ducks a kick and hits the Ray Gun for the… 2 or 3? The referee decides that it was 2. The match continues! Kandrack is NOT HAPPY. CHIVA KID HITS A DRAGONRANA FROM THE RAFTERS! And it’s only 2! Crowd is HOT for this. COME ON CHIVA! Chiva knocks Kid down and goes up top again. Chiva CRASHES AND BURNS. Kandrack hits the Gamma Ray for the pin in 13:59. This match RULED!
Now they’re airing a match from Britannia Wrestling Promotions England.
PWI/BWP World Catchweight Championship Match: “The Toxic Terror” Alex Cyanide (c) vs. Shaun “The Hammer” Davis. Clipped. They beat on each other inside a ridiculously tiny ring. Cyanide is a rather large bloke. Cyanide hits a powerbomb and 2 big splashes, but doesn’t cover. Davis hits a chokeslam off the middle rope. It’s a double KO. At least it’s over. What was the point of this? Just to kill ten minutes?
They show some photos of Jake Manning and somebody going to England to interview Dynamite Kid. Depressing.
Comments from Rumble participants. And now it’s Rumble time! Cory Edsel explains how a Rumble works, just in case you’ve never watched Pro Wrestling before.
30-Person CWF Rumble: #1 is Chase Dakota. #2 is Jason (not Mayhem) Miller. Dakota narrowly survives early elimination. Sweet sit out full nelson face buster by Miller. #3 is Chet Sterling. Miller destroys him. Miller hits a belly to belly on Dakota and Sterling at the same time. He throws them both out. Sterling is out, but Dakota saves himself again. #4 is Sassy Stephie, substituting for someone. Stephie and Dakota work together. Being slapped by Stephie only pisses Miller off. #5 is Mark James, who promptly beats the shit out of Chase Dakota. James sets Stephie on the apron. She slaps him. James pie faces her off the apron, then returns to beating up Dakota. Apparently James and Miller are tag team partners. #6 is CWF Mid-Atlantic Television Champion Trevor Lee, who promptly falls victim to a double spinebuster. James and Lee pair off, as do Miller and Dakota. #7 is Jesse Ortega, who helps from the floor to eliminate Miller. Miller attacks him, but is held back by the officials. Mark James tosses Ortega out so Miller can kick his ass. #8 is Solomon Spades, Dakota’s mentor. Lee bails while Spade and Dakota go after James. James gets the better off them and Lee Pearl Harbors him. James deals with him as well. #9 is Donnie Dollars, who cleans house. Joe Black appears and attacks Dollars, who tosses him. Dollars eliminates Dakota and Spades. Lee and Dollars face off. Lee took the TV title from Dollars last month with help from Spades and Dakota. #10 is CWF Mid-Atlantic Rising Generation League Champion and Lee’s partner, Ben Tyler. Dollars kicks both of their asses. #11 is Michael McAllister. His music is “I’m sexy and I know it,” so I hate him. Jason Miller and Jesse Ortega reappear, still fighting. #12 is “Ice Man” Joe Storm, who brings some plunder to the party. Storm plays the role of the poor man’s Sandman/Tommy Dreamer and has fun with weapons. #13 is Mecha Mercenary, who no sells Storm’s Singapore cane shots and throws him out. Mecha eliminates Donnie Dollars with a clothesline. The remaining guys in the ring, all heels, try to avoid him. #14 is Ty Dillinger, who attacks McAllister with a club and tosses him out. Dillingers backs into Mecha and tries to whack him with the club. That fails, but he grabs Mecha’s beard and lands some punches. Mecha tosses him. The Fun Athletic Guys (Lee and Tyler) dance around like goofballs and try to avoid Mecha’s wrath. #15 is Matt Smith, who runs wild on the heels in the ring before he gets powerbombed by Mecha. Trevor Lee barely avoids elimination. Smith hits a Northern Lights suplex and a Shining Wizard on Tyler, then gets killed by Mecha. #16 is Kamakazi Kid, who unexpectedly helps Mecha. Kazi takes his mask off. It’s CECIL SCOTT! The real Kazi appears and kicks his ass before being forced to the back. #17 is Amber O’Neal. Lee tries to kiss her. She throws glitter in his eyes. She gives Ben Tyler a stink face, then rams Lee’s head into Tyler’s balls. She gives them both a bronco buster. Mecha grabs her. #18 is Freight Train, who faces off with Mecha and gives him some love taps. Amber O’Neal gives Cecil Scott an X Factor, then Freight Train whips him and O’Neal low bridges him out of the ring. Dammit. Mecha eliminates Freight Train. #19 is Roy Wilkins. O’Neal grabs Lee’s and Tyler’s balls. Wilkins kicks her in the face and the Fun Athletic Guys eliminate her. Matt Smith eliminates Mecha Mercenary! Smith is fired up! #20 is Marcellus King. The Fun Athletic Guys attack him and get their asses kicked. King eliminates both of them. Smith and King beat up Roy Wilkins. #21 is Walter Eaton, Wilkins’ tag team partner. Smith is eliminated by Eaton and Wilkins. #22 is Devin Dalton. He’s a U.S. Marine, and he kicks ass like one. #23 is Nick Richards, who goofs off with King. #24 is Ric Converse. King waits for him, but Eaton nails him from behind. This only pisses King off, but the distraction allows Converse to eliminate King. Converse gives Dalton the Richter Scale, and Eaton tosses him. #25 is Chris Lea, who the crowd loves, and who immediately goes after Converse. Lea slips on a springboard, but catches Converse and dropkicks him to the apron. Eaton kills Lea with a clotheslines. #26 is Matty De Nero, who has a power gauntlet. What? IT WORKS! He punches the mat and knocks everyone down. Awesome. #27 is “The Rate Tank” Kellie Skater. De Nero gives her the power glove, and she throws it away and attacks him. De Nero decks her and teases eliminating her. Skater throws him out of the ring onto the ramp to eliminate him. #28 is Chiva Kid! He and Skater go at it. He’s still selling his back from earlier. Awesome. He tries to springboard, but Skater kicks him off the apron to the floor. #29 is Kamakazi Kid for real this time. He kills Skater with an uppercut and tosses her out. Cecil Scott and Mecha Mercenary reappear to attack Kazi. “The Boogie Woogie Man” Rob McBride appears to get rid of Mecha and Scott. #30 is Steve Greene, who seems to be both a surprise and a huge deal. Greene cleans house. Eaton and Wilkins eliminate him. Kazi and Lea go at it. Kazi hits a Frankensteiner. Lea hits the Eat Defeat (Soul Food), and Eaton eliminates Kazi. Converse and Lea brawl again. We’re down to five. Lea counters the Richter Scale and eliminates Converse. Apparently this is Lea’s pro debut. Impressive. Final four are Lea, Eaton, Wilkins, and Richards. Lea and Wilkins struggle to eliminate each other. Wilkins and Eaton eliminate him with a dropkick. Eaton and Wilkins are left with Richards. Stutts keeps calling them the Goon Squad. Is that their actual name? They put a beating on Richards. Goons set up a Doomsday Device. Richards fights out and gives Eaton a butterfly suplex off the top, then gives Eaton an avalanche-style backdrop suplex! Double clothesline! Richards is FIRED UP! Double DDT! The Goons cut him off and put a beating on him. Goons go for the Gang Bang. Richards counters out and hits a cutter on Wilkins. Richards manages to toss Eaton. Wilkins throws Richards out through the ropes. Eaton attacks him at ringside and gives him a sit-out Pedigree on the floor. Richards comes back in. Wilkins tries to eliminate him. Richards pulls him to the apron, a dangerous place to fight. Wilkins sends Richards into the post and to the floor to win it in 56:27. Damn. Fun Rumble. They really had me hooked at the end. Goons celebrate.
The show ends with a Killbillies promo, which is perfectly fine with me. Ultimate Survivor, November 17!
Very fun show, very much worth the $10. I’m glad I could support CWF Mid-Atlantic’s first iPPV.