WWE Monday Night Raw 12/27/10

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers LIVE from Albany, New York.

John Cena comes out to talk.  They show CM Punk attacking Cena with a chair last week.  He thinks Punk is mad because Cena spilled his soda.  They show Punk attacking Cena again on Smackdown.  Cena calls Punk out.  CM Punk does indeed come out to the stage.  Punk says it’s not about the soda, it’s about how Cena kept coming back after he was fired and how he buried Wade Barrett under chairs at the PPV.  The banter.  Punk brings up how Cena ended Batista’s career and how he insults Vickie Guerrero.  Cena says Batista quit of his own accord, then makes fun of Michael Cole and himself.  Punk says Cena’s barbaric behavior will stop.  Cena says it’s not.  He challenges Punk to a match.  Punk declines because he wants to call Cena out instead of vice versa.  He says he has a surprise for Cena tonight.  He wishes everyone a happy new year.  I didn’t get into the promos, but I’m still looking forward to this program.

Tonight, Sheamus vs. Randy Orton!  The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler!  Commercials!

WWE.com plug.

Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) vs. WWE Tag Team Champion Santino Marella (w/ Tamina).  Santino throws some silly kicks.  Dibiase decks him and kicks his ass.  Dibiase hits a clothesline for 2.  Dibiase applies a rear chin lock.  Santino avoids a dropkick and pins Dibiase with a prawn hold in 1:03.  Santino has a Christmas gift for Tamina.  It’s the Cobra.  Dibiase and Maryse jump them from behind.  Santino and Tamina clean house and hit stereo jumping headbutts, then hit them with Cobras.  This was silly and pointless.

WWE Champion The Miz lectures Alex Riley backstage.  Riley is facing John Morrison tonight.  Morrison comes in and proposes the stipulation that if he beats Riley tonight, he gets to pick the time and stipulation for his title match, and promises to forfeit the #1 Contendership if he loses.  Miz agrees.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

John Morrison vs. Alex Riley (w/ WWE Champion The Miz).  They lock up.  Morrison grabs a hammerlock and eats an elbow to the face.  They brawl a bit.  Morrison hits a backbreaker and a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Miz distracts Morrison, allowing Riley to get the advantage.  Riley gets his heat going and clamps on a rear chin lock.  Morrison fights out.  Riley hits a lousy backdrop suplex for 2.  Riley hits a clothesline for 2.  Riley applies a neck & shoulder hold.  Morrison fights out and makes his comeback.  Morrison goes for the Flying Chuck, but Miz trips him.  The referee ejects Miz.  Riley gets a schoolboy for 2.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck and the running knee for the pin in 4:42.  Fine little match.  Morrison tells Lawler that his title match is going to be next week in a Falls Count Anywhere Match.  Cole throws a hissy fit.

Tonight, Sheamus vs. Orton!  CM Punk vows to call out John Cena!  Commercials!

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

WWE Champion The Miz bitches Alex Riley out backstage.

CM Punk lectures a camera man.

WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan chats with the Bella Twins backstage.  Tyson Kidd and Jackson Andrews come in.  Tyson says he’ll be the next United States Champion.  He’s facing Mark Henry tonight.

Josh Matthews interviews Randy Orton.  Commercials.

Josh Matthews has replaced Lawler on commentary.

Mark Henry vs. Tyson Kidd (w/ Jackson Andrews).  Henry mauls Kidd.  Kidd avoids being sat on and hits a basement dropkick.  Kidd clamps on a front face lock.  Henry tosses him away and makes his comeback.  Henry goes for a corner splash, but eats boots.  Kidd comes off the top, but Henry catches him and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin in 2:06.  I wasn’t expecting that.  Jackson Andrews goes face to face with Henry.  Henry gives him the World’s Strongest Slam too.  I wasn’t expecting Tyson and his big dude to be jobbed out right here.

They show Jerry Lawler pinned The Miz in the six-man tag last week after Randy Orton delivered the RKO to Miz.  Miz vs. Lawler TONIGHT!  Commercials.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz cuts a promo.  He does the annoying shit where he says the same sentence 39,489 times in a row, but he does call the crowd on that stupid “WHAT?” bullshit.  Seriously, of all the good that Steve Austin contributed to the business, that almost undoes all of it.

Non-Title: WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler.  They lock up.  Miz takes Lawler down and walks on his back, then prances around like a retarded fairy.  They lock up again.  Miz hits a shoulder block.  They lock up a third time.  Miz backs Lawler into the corner.  Lawler ducks the cheap shot and grabs a headlock.  Lawler lands some shoulder blocks.  Miz hides in the ropes.  Miz takes Lawler down and slaps his head.  Miz works Lawler over.  Miz applies a rear chin lock.  Lawler tries to fight out, but Miz throws him down.  Miz keeps beating on Lawler.  Riley trips Lawler just to be a dick.  Miz puts the boots to Lawler.  Miz tauntingl throws some half assed kicks.  Lawler tries to fight back.  Miz beats him down and taunts him.  Riley gets in his cheap shots when it is convenient.  Miz warms up for the corner clothesline.  John Morrison comes out to distract Miz.  Miz hits the corner clothesline.  Lawler avoids a second one and falls into the ropes.  Lawler avoids a shot and Miz crotches himself.  Lawler makes his comeback.  Lawler hits 3 dropkicks and covers for 2.  Miz slips out of a body slam and slams Lawler into the corner.  Lawler avoids a shot.  Miz pulls Lawler’s head across the top rope and tries to go up top.  Lawler kicks him down and Miz face plants into the steps.  Riley tries to interfere and distracts the referee.  Morrison hits Miz with the knee strike.  Lawler wins by count-out in 9:36.  This was boring.

King Sheamus admires his crown backstage.  CM Punk shows up to chat with him.  He wants Sheamus to watch whatever he does to John Cena tonight.  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^^ happened.  Lawler is back on commentary now.  WWE Divas Champion Natalya has joined them at the table.

Melina & Alicia Fox vs. Eve Torres & Gail Kim.  Fox and Eve do some shit.  Fox gets her knees up on a standing moonsault attempt.  Cover gets 2.  Melina tags in and beats up Eve.  Eve rallies and makes the hot tag to Gail Kim.  Gail runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Melina counters Gail’s move and hits the Sunset Split for the pin in 2:30.  There ya go.  Natalya gets in the ring to discuss matters with Melina.  Melina offers a handshake, then tries to deck Natalya.  Natalya blocks it and decks Melina.  Again, there ya go.

CM Punk lectures the trainers backstage.

Tonight, CM Punk vows to call out John Cena.  Also, King Sheamus vs. Randy Orton!  Commercials.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ The Bella Twins) vs. Zack Ryder.  JIP.  Bryan escapes a side headlock, but Ryder hits a shoulder block.  Bryan does a leap frog and a hip toss.  Ryder gets Bryan down and hits the face wash in the corner for 2.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker for 2.  He goes for another one, but Bryan locks in the LeBell Lock for the win (1:11 shown).  That’s all the Bryan we get?  Lame.

Cole gets an email from the iBooker.  While he’s reading it, The Miz appears and jumps Jerry Lawler.  That dick!  Miz beats the hell out of Lawler and gives him the Skull Crushing Finale on the floor.  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^ happened.  Even Cole doesn’t condone this, and he spends every show talking about how good Miz’s cock tastes.  Josh Matthews has rejoined Cole at the table.

King Sheamus vs. Randy Orton.  They lock up.  Sheamus backs Orton into the corner.  They take turns punching each other in the corner.  Orton hits an Austin-style Lou Thesz press and punches.  Sheamus avoids a knee drop and hits a shoulder block.  Sheamus beats on Orton and and applies a neck & shoulder hold.  Orton fights out and hits a short lariat for 2.  Orton hits a knee drop for 2.  Sheamus kicks Orton in the knee and works him over.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Sheamus counters and sends Orton to the apron.  Orton low bridges Sheamus out of the ring.  They brawl outside.  Orton takes a bump into the post.  Back inside, Sheamus hits a slingshot shoulder block for 2.  Commercials.  Sheamus has Orton in a neck & shoulder hold.  Orton fights out.  Sheamus hits a running powerslam for 2.  Sheamus keeps the heat going on Orton.  Orton sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post, then pulls him up in the top rope and hits a superplex for 2.  They trade punches.  Orton wins the exchange and gets rolling.  Orton hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker for 2.  Orton ducks the brogue kick.  Sheamus avoids the RKO and drops Orton with a blow to the head.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Orton slips out and hits the 3.0.  Orton humps the mat.  Sheamus avoids the DDT OF MURDER and goes for the slingshot shoulder block.  Orton catches him midair with the RKO for the pin in 14:26.  Good match.

John Cena is headed our way.  Commercials.

Albany!

Next week, The Miz vs. John Morrison in a Falls Count Anywhere Match for the WWE Championship!

John Cena comes out and rants about “CM Sucks.”  He calls out Punk.  Wasn’t the whole idea that Punk was supposed to call Cena out?  Punk’s music plays, but he doesn’t come out.  Cena says he’ll go find “CM Sucks.”  The Nexus come out, minus Barrett.  David Otunga gets in the ring as Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, Michael McGillicutty, and Husky Harris stand at ringside.  Otunga says Nexus is under new management.  He offers Cena truce.  Cena doesn’t trust him at all.  Nexus start to leave, then come back and attack Cena.  Everyone gives Cena their finish.  Nexus head up the ramp.  CM Punk comes out and gives Cena the Go 2 Sleep.  He teases hitting Cena with a chair.  Instead he sits in the chair and puts on a Nexus armband.  Punk and Nexus salute each other as the show fades to black.

Okay show.  I don’t really get the point of Punk joining Nexus.