TNA iMPACT! 10/28/10

Video package of recent goings on.

“Chained To Fate”

Mickie James and Tara are brawling  backstage.  Madison Rayne jumps in to help Tara.  The Beautiful People show up to help Mickie.  Sarita shows up to help Madison and Tara.  So now we have a six woman brawl going all over the place.  They fight into the arena, except for Tara and Mickie, who are still backstage.  The only plus side of this is that most of them are wearing tight jeans.  Mickie and Tara fight into the arena.  This shit has been going on for 5 minutes now.  They’re all in the ring now.  Ric Flair, Gunner, and Murphy come out to try to break it up.  After 6 fucking minutes of this shit.  Flair gets slapped by Tara, then by Mickie.  Flair tells everyone to get a grip and threatens to “make a woman” out of them.  Flair books them in a six woman tag match.  So Flair has booking power now?  Everybody keeps brawling.  Fucking stupid shit.

iMPACT! open.

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Tonight, Robbie E. vs. Jay Lethal in a Street Fight!  Motor City Machine Guns vs. Ink Inc. vs. Generation Me for the Tag titles!  Jeff Jarrett vs. Ken Anderson in a Chain Match!

The Pope is pushing a casket around.  Taz says “I hope it’s not some bad ass looking to take on an MMA guy.”  Commercials.

Jeff Hardy video package.

Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair talk and laugh about the stupid shit that just happened.  Flair asks where Hogan is.  Bischoff says he’s making an acquisition.  Bischoff bitches at Gunner and Murphy for letting Kurt Angle attack their car last week.  He says if Angle gets in tonight, he’s going to take their asses.  Some dude comes in upset that Anderson is in a match tonight when he as a concussion.  Bischoff laughs it off, because see, he’s EVIL!

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is in the ring cutting a promo about Abyss.  Abyss appears in the crowd and cuts a promo on him, then kidnaps some fans.  Seriously.  Pope runs after them.

Jeff Jarrett talks backstage.  He’ll face Joe at Turning Point and Anderson tonight.  Commercials.

Ric Flair is hitting on some chick backstage.  Matt Morgan comes in and tells Flair he’s upset about Anderson having to wrestle with a concussion tonight.  They bicker for a while.  Morgan is still upset.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Non-Title Jersey Shore Street Fight: Robbie E. (w/ Cookie) vs. TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal.  They brawl.  Robbie bails.  Lethal hits him with a dive.  Lethal hits Robbie with a trash can lid, then suplexes him onto a road sign.  Lethal crotches Robbie in a saw horse barrier thing, then pounds on him.  Back inside, Robbie hits an elbow smash for 2.  Another cover gets another 2.  Cookie gives Robbie a Singapore cane.  Lethal takes the cane and wails on Robbie with it.  Lethal puts a trash can lid on Robbie’s head and canes the lid.  Lethal goes up top.  Cookie grabs his foot, then sprays some shit in his eyes.  Robbie hits a neckbreaker for the pin in 4:58.  Crap.  I fucking hate this Jersey Shore gimmick.  Robbie gets a title shot at the PPV now.

The Beautiful People bitch about the heel women.  Velvet leaves.  Love sees Winter again.  I have no idea what the fuck the point of this is and neither does the idiot who came up with the idea.  Velvet comes back.  Winter has turned back into the fat seamstress.  Look, I know that wrestling is fake, but it’s not supposed to be fiction.  Commercials.

Video package of the “RVD doesn’t trust EV2.0″ shit from last week.

EV2.0 and Brian Kendrick are in the ring.  Kendrick is sitting in the corner reading a book (probably Foley’s book).  Dreamer calls out RVD.  RVD comes out.  Dreamer says Sabu hitting RVD with the chair last week was an accident.  RVD doesn’t think so and doesn’t trust anyone.  Dreamer says this is exactly what Bischoff wants.  RVD asks Raven what he’s laughing at.  Raven (in his Marine Corps jacket) says RVD should lay off the weed.  RVD thinks Raven is the traitor.  EV2.0 holds them back from fighting.  Fortune come out.  Flair says RVD & Raven will face Styles & Kazarian tonight.

Up next, women wrestle poorly!  Commercials!

Fortune argue amongst themselves.  Williams has his panties in a wad about something.  Morgan says “fuck this” and leaves.  Flair says it’ll be Williams teaming with Styles against RVD & Raven tonight.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne, Tara, & Sarita vs. Mickie James & The Beautiful People.  Mickie and the BPs jump the heels during their entrance.  Gunner and Murphy try to restore order again.  They finally restore order and the match starts.  Rayne and Love fight.  Love and Tara fight.  The BPs hit a double side Russian leg sweep on Tara.  Velvet  hits a spinning headscissors on Tara.  Mickie and Sarita tag in.  Mickie hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Lots of ref distractions allow Sarita to get the advantage on Mickie.  Rayne humps Mickie’s head into the mat.  Tara pulls Mickie’s hair.  Mickie hits a Regal Cutter.  Love and Sarita tag in.  Love runs wild.  Tara and Rayne hit her from behind.  Mickie tags in and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Velvet DDTS Sarita.  Save.   Everybody brawls.  Rayne hits her finish on Love.  Mickie hits Rayne with a DDT.  Tara hits the Widow’s Peak in Mickie.  The BPs kick Tara.  Sarita hits a Tiger Driver on Sky for the pin in 6:04.  Shitty match, but I enjoyed seeing a Tiger Driver.

Pope walks around backstage.  He hears a woman screaming and runs toward it.  Commercials.

Abyss jumps the Pope.  The kidnapped people run away.  Pope and Abyss brawl.  Abyss puts Pope in a casket, then retrieves Janice.  Abyss beats the casket with the nail board.  Fucking stupid shit.  I fucking hate this company.

Generation Me cut a promo in the ring.  Ink Inc. come out to make fun of them.  The tag title three-way is NEXT!  Commercials!

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Generation Me vs. Ink Inc.  Neal and Jeremy lock up.  Neal scores a knockdown with a shoulder block, then hits an arm drag and a neckbreaker for 2.  Max blind tags in and pulls Neal into the top rope for 2.  The Bucks knock the Guns off of the apron in awesome fashion.  The Bucks work over Neal for a while.  Neal catches Jeremy in midair with a spinebuster and makes the tag to Moore.  Moore runs wild on Max.  Moore hits a spin kick and covers, but Jeremy saves.  Moore hits a double rana on the Bucks.  Moore backdrops Neal out of the ring onto the Bucks.  Sabin hits Max with a tope suicida.  Moore hits Max with a Lionsault body block for 2.  Ink Inc. work over Max.  The Guns and Ink Inc. beat up the Bucks.  Ink Inc. hit their Samoan drop/Blockbuster on Sabin.  Jeremy pulls the referee out of the ring.  Moore hits a dive on Jeremy.  Guns hit the Skull & Bones on Neal.  Sabin pins Neal in 5:50 to retain the titles.  Fun little match.  Team 3D come out.  Bubba talks for a while, then challenges the Guns to a tag title match at Turning Point.  Guns agree.

Eric Bischoff is on the phone.  Matt Morgan comes in to complain about Anderson being forced to wrestle with a concussion.  Bischoff is still evil and thinks its a great idea.

Up next, Jeff Hardy!  Commercials.

Matt Morgan wants to talk to Ken Anderson, but the trainer doesn’t trust him.  Morgan talks him into it.

Tenay and Taz talk.

Turning Point hype.

Another weird pre-taped Jeff Hardy rambling segment.

Rob Van Dam!  Commercials!

TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles & Douglas Williams vs. Rob Van Dam & Raven.  Styles and Williams jump Raven before RVD comes out.  RVD politely waits until his music plays before he slowly walks out to the ring and does his pyro.  Styles and Williams jump RVD.  RVD throws Williams out of the ring.  Raven hits Styles with a cross body that sends them both outside.  Williams attacks RVD.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder.  Cover, but Styles saves.  Styles and Williams get the heat on RVD.  Styles hits a knee drop for 2.  They keep working over RVD and knocking Raven off the apron.  Ric Flair comes out, pulls Raven off the apron, and clocks him with the TV belt.  Flair leaves.  RVD goes to make a tag and sees an empty corner.  He doesn’t know what happened.  He makes his own comeback, then sees Raven taking a nap.  Styles and Williams beat up RVD.  Williams and Styles argue about who’s going to make the cover.  Styles slaps Williams on the ass to tag himself in.  Williams hits a diving knee drop on RVD.  Styles steals the pin in 5:46.  Okay then.

Up next, Jarrett vs. Anderson!  Commercials!

TNA wrestlers on the Family Feud!

Jeff Jarrett comes out and calls out Mr. Anderson.  Anderson’s music plays, but Matt Morgan comes out instead.  The show ends.

The usual overbooked TNA train wreck of a show.