WWE Superstars 10/14/10

There’s a disclaimer in French.  I don’t trust anything spoken and/or written in French.

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Non-Title: Kelly Kelly (w/ Natalya) vs. Unified WWE Divas Champion Layla (w/ Unified WWE Divas Champion Michelle McCool).  Layla does jumping jacks, then jumps at Kelly and yells “boo!”  Then she dances.  I hate wrestling.  Kelly slaps her and they lock up and pull hair.  Still hating it.  Kelly hits an atomic drop and a leg kick sweep for 2.  Kelly hits another kick for 1.  Layla ducks a diving cross body and gets heat in Kelly in a slow, boring manner.  Layla applies a body scissors.  She rolls it into a cradle for 1.  Repeat for 2.  Kelly reverses the cradle for 2.  Layla hits a dropkick.  So does Kelly.  Kelly rams Layla’s face into the mat, then hits some shitty clotheslines.  Layla gets a swank cradle for 2.  Kelly hits a face buster for 2.  Layla goes for the Sharpshooter and strokes her chin at Natalya.  Kelly gets a cradle for 2.  Layla bails.  Natalya stalks her back to the apron.  Layla pulls Kelly’s head across the top rope.  Natalya chop blocks Layla’s leg.  Kelly gets a schoolgirl for the pin in 5:09.  Fucking awful.

Tonight, Melina vs. Alicia Fox.  Fucking UGH.

Don’t try this at home!

Outdated Bragging Rights commercial.

Knucklehead trailer.

Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barreta.  They show Hawkins turning on Vance Archer last week.  They lock up.  Hawkins talks shit.  Barreta takes him down and works a side headlock.  Hawkins does a leapfrog, drop down, elbow smash, then an elbow drop or something for 2.  Barreta rams Hawkins into the post.  Hawkins pulls him down on the top rope.  Insta-commercials.  Dudebusters hype video.  Instead of going back to the fucking match.  Barreta fights back.  Hawkins trips him, then hits a suplex for 2.  Barreta moves out of the way and sends Hawkins outside, then hits an AWESOME Space Flying Tiger Drop.  Back inside, Barreta makes his comeback.  Barreta hits a springboard dropkick for 2.  Hawkins side steps a running knee and hits a body slam for 2.  Hawkins goes up top.  Barreta cuts him off and hammers him with elbow smashes.  Barreta climbs up, but Hawkins shoves him down and hits the diving elbow drop for the pin (about 5 minutes shown).  Incredibly mediocre match aside from that one cool spot.

Tonight, Melina vs. Fox.  That’s the most unappealing main event ever.

Don’t try this at home!  They really hammer that home on these European broadcasts.

Raw commercials.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are now the announcers.  I liked the guy from last week better.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Primo (w/ AJ) vs. Darren Young).  Young’s hair is slicked back this week.  Primo goes on the attack.  I have no idea who is supposed to be the babyface.  Young fights back and beats up Primo.  They go back and forth.  Young goes up top, but Primo trips him to make him fall down.  Cover gets 2.  Young’s hair is going back to normal now.  Primo hits a dropkick for 2.  Primo keeps the heat on Young.  Young makes his comeback.  Young lands some nice European uppercuts.  Primo boots Young in the face and goes for the Backstabber.  Young counters and hits his retarded full nelson into a front slam thingy for the pin in 4:24.  This wasn’t any good either.

WWE loves the troops!

Melina vs. Fox tonight.  They’re making me want to see it less and less every time they plug it.

Melina hype video.  I think they just edited together every spot she didn’t blow into a 30 second video.

The Miz hype video.

Raw Rebound.

Bragging Rights hype.

The main event, if you can call it that, is next.

Another Bragging Rights commercial.  Actually, it’s the same one from earlier.

Legendary trailer.  Ugh.

Melina vs. Alicia Fox (w/ Maxine).  Melina shocks me by doing a bit of chain wrestling.  Fox pulls Melina’s hair to pull her into the top rope.  Melina does something similar, but with a chin lock instead of a hair pull.  Maxine tries to trip Melina on the apron, but gets kicked away.  Fox gets her cheap shot in to send Melina to the floor.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Fox stands on Melina’s hair.  Melina avoids a knee drop and hits a flapjack.  Melina makes her comeback with crappy clotheslines and a hair pull takedown.  Melina goes for the Code Red, but Fox counters into a Gory Bomb for 2.  Melina avoids the scissors kick and gets a bizarre cradle for the pin in 3:46.  Once again, only one good spot in the whole otherwise shitty match.

I enjoyed maybe 30 seconds out of 45 minutes.  Crappy show.  It wasn’t actively horrible much, just 45 minutes of very mediocre.