WWE Monday Night Raw 9/20/10

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

The NEW WWE Champion Randy Orton comes out.  Sheamus immediately follows.  He says the title was stolen from him both times he lost it, even though he lost clean as a sheet both times.  Orton says Sheamus has never beat him, he’s pathetic, etc.  He says Sheamus could get his rematch quick or Orton is going to punch him in the skull.  Sheamus says he’ll kick Orton’s head off.  Orton dares him to try.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000 announcing Orton vs. Sheamus for the title at Hell In A Cell.  Sheamus is fine with this, they tells Orton to give him the belt.  Understandably, Orton looks at Sheamus like he’s retarded.  Sheamus says Orton will give him the belt back if he’s an honorable man.  Orton says he’s not an honorable man and talks about RKOing grandmothers.  He throws the belt to Sheamus, then drops him with the RKO. Orton starts to leave, then comes back and teases the PUNT OF DOOM, but Sheamus rolls out of the ring and runs away.  Great segment if your goal is to make your challenger look like a loser.  Of course, you’d only do that if you knew nothing about how to draw money.  Wait… that was probably exactly what they meant to do.

Tonight, John Cena vs. Wade Barrett!  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

The Hart Dynasty have joined Cole and Lawler for commentary.  Cole immediately starts antagonizing them.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre vs. Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov.  Rhodes treats Santino like a totally joke… because Santino wrestles like a total joke.  Rhodes easily avoids everything he tries to do and drops him with a punch.  McIntyre tags in and urges Santino to tag in Kozlov.  Santino obliges.  Kozlov hits a Sambo arm drag.  They fuck around with some Greco-Roman shit.  Kozlov hits a fireman’s carry, then tags in Santino.  Santino beats up McIntyre, hits a hip toss, and goes for the Cobra.  McIntyre boots him in the face for 2.  Rhodes and McIntyre get the heat on Santino.  Kozlov gets the hot tag and runs wild on McIntyre.  Kozlov hits a powerslam, but Rhodes saves.  Rhodes throws Santino out of the ring.  Kozlov drops Rhodes with a boot.  McIntyre hits Kozlov with the Future Shock for the pin in 4:13.  There’s your obligatory lame comedy match.  The Harts say they’re taking their rematch next week.  The champs pose with their fugly belts.  Cole is an idiot.

Cole and Lawler plug the Legendary DVD, which comes out next Tuesday because the movie bombed like Hiroshima in the theaters.

They show highlights of the John Morrison/Sheamus match from last week.

John Morrison does his weird workout backstage.  He’ll face Chris Jericho NEXT!  So I guess Jericho isn’t gone yet.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Indianapolis!

Edge is in the locker room.  Zack Ryder comes in to be a tool.  Edge tells him off.  Daniel Bryan asks them to keep it down so he can read.  Edge challenges Bryan to a match tonight.  Bryan agrees!  Ryder is an idiot some more.

Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison.  Morrison is pissed off because Jericho screwed him last week.  Morrison beats up Jericho.  Jericho bails.  Morrison chases him back into the ring and kicks his ass some more.  Jericho hits the corner HARD and takes a bump out of the ring.  Morrison takes him out with a dive that looked like he hit more floor than Jericho.  Commercials.  Morrison is still pounding on Jericho.  Jericho cheap shots him and lands an enzuigiri.  Jericho knocks Morrison off the apron and into the barricade.  Jericho picks up Morrison and drops him across the barricade.  Jericho suplexes Morrison back into the ring, then stomps and kicks him.  Jericho hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Morrison punches Jericho in the face.  Jericho replies with a dropkick to the face.  Morrison catches Jericho with an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho hits a clothesline for 2.  Jericho applies a rear chin lock.  Morrison gets out of it and makes his comeback.  Jericho boots Morrison in the face and hits the bulldog.  Morrison avoids the Lionsault and goes for the Flying Chuck.  Jericho catches him and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Morrison reaches the ropes.  The crowd boos.  They do a cradle reversal sequences.  Jericho goes for the Walls again, but Morrison counters out.  Morrison hits a knee strike and the Starship Pain for the pin in 10:19.  Pretty good little match.  Jericho sulks over the loss.

John Cena speaks NEXT!  Commercials.

Josh Matthews interviews John Cena.  Typical Cena comedy promo about The Nexus.

The Miz comes out.  He denies tapping out to Daniel Bryan last night, even though he totally did.  He says some medical words, claiming he only lost because he was injured.  He says he’ll regain the U.S. title because he’s the Miz and he didn’t tap out.  Even though he totally did.  Fine little promo.  Commercials.

The Miz has joined Cole and Lawler for commentary.  Cole verbally fellates him.

Non-Title: Edge vs. WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan.  Bryan has new music.  Something opera-ish that actually kind of fits his character.  Edge looks befuddled by the music choice, then jumps Bryan at the bell and kicks his ass.  Edge takes Bryan outside and throws him into the barricade.  Back inside, Bryan lands some kicks, but Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Lawler finally tells Cole to shut the hell up.  Miz says he’s signed Alex Riley, who is not there, to be his manservant.  Bryan catches Edge with a knee to the middle.  Bryan backflips over Edge and drops him with a clothesline.  Bryan does some fancy arm stuff, hits a jawbreaker and a running knee for 2.  Bryan comes off the top, but Edge catches him with a boot.  Edge goes for the spear, but Bryan sidesteps him and goes for the LeBell Lock.  Alex Riley comes out and distracts the referee.  Miz pulls Bryan against the ropes.  Edge spears Bryan for the pin in 4:02.  Fine little match.  I can’t believe how well they’re protecting Bryan.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000 reversing the decision due to outside interference, so Bryan wins by DQ!  More of the GM fucking with Edge.  Edge says he’s sick of this shit.  He leaves, then Miz and Riley jump Bryan and beat him down.  Crowd chants “YOU TAPPED OUT!”  They beat the shit out of him for a long time.  Miz delivers the Skull Crushing Finale.  This went on way longer than necessary, but I’m glad they’re keeping this feud going.  It’s pretty much the best thing they have going right now.

Tonight, Cena vs. Barrett!  Commercials.

Plug for the Hell In A Cell theme song, “Sacrifice.”

LayCool are now co-Unified WWE Divas Champions and both have Divas Championship belts, so I guess they’re done with the Women’s title.

Unified WWE Divas Championship Match: Layla © (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Melina.  McCool joins Cole and Lawler for commentary.  Ugh.  Melina, mad that she got screwed last night, kicks Layla’s ass.  Layla throws Melina out of the ring.  She follows and Melina drops her ass, then threatens McCool.  McCool jumps the barricade to escape.  Layla tries to attack her, but gets her ass kicked.  Back inside, Melina does the Matrix and an elbow smash, then hits her hair Stroke.  Thankfully, that’s not a finish anymore.  McCool is back on commentary.  Ugh.  Layla cools Melina in the face and hits a MOTHERFUCKING DIAMOND DUST!!!! for the pin in 2:02.  This match gets points from me just for the awesome finishing move.

Tonight, Cena vs. Barrett!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

The Nexus plot and scheme backstage.

Josh Matthews interviews Chris Jericho.  Jericho plugs his DVD, then says he found the IP address to the iBooker, so he’ll be finding out who the GM is soon.  Randy Orton steps in and challenges him to a match next week, and if Jericho wins, he can have a title shot whenever he wants it.  Jericho agrees.

R-Truth and Eve Torres come out to Truth’s new song.  Eve dances, which makes it tolerable.  Commercials.

R-Truth & Eve Torres vs. Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. & Maryse.  Dibiase has new music that is TNA level bad.  Truth dances at Dibiase, then ducks a punch and kicks his ass.  The divas tag in.  Truth dances at Maryse.  Maryse slaps him.  Eve tackles Maryse.  CATFIGHT!  Maryse slaps Eve and works her hair.  Eve ducks a kick and leg sweeps Maryse, then hits her senton flip thing.  Dibiase pulls her off the cover.  Truth kicks Dibiase’s ass and knocks him out of the ring, then h its him with a dive.  Eve counters Maryse’s DDT and hits a swinging neckbreaker for the pin in 2:36.  Nothing you need to see at all here.  Well, Eve dances some more, so there’s always that.  Dibiase and Maryse argue.  Some music plays and the words “I will have you” come up on the Titan Tron.  Ugh.

Cena vs. Barrett is NEXT!  Commercials.

Indianapolis!

Indianapolis Colts!

Next week, Orton vs. Jericho!

John Cena and The Nexus come out.  Barrett challenges Cena to face the rest of Nexus in a gauntlet match, since he wants to take them out one by one.  If he beats them, he’ll face Barrett.  The other option is yet another Nexus beatdown.  Cena says “fuck it.”

Gauntlet Match: John Cena vs. The Nexus (w/ Wade Barrett).  Heath Slater is first.  Cena ducks a punch and takes Slater down with a headlock.  Cena hits a side suplex for 2.  Slater beats up Cena a bit.  Slater hits Cena with a corner charge for 2.  Slater hits an inverted atomic drop and a neckbreaker for 2.  Cena fights back, but Slater hits a flapjack for 2.  Slater hits a diving cross body, but Cena rolls through and hits the Attitude Adjustment for the pin in 2:24.  Otunga is next.  Commercials.  Otunga beats up Cena.  Otunga hits a suplex, then fucks around instead of going for the kill.  He hits another suplex for 2.  Cena catches Otunga with an inside cradle for the pin in 6:54.  Michael Tarver is next.  He beats on Cena in the corner.  The referee gets in the way a bunch.  Cena locks Tarver in the STF for the submission in 7:58.  Justin Gabriel is next.  He drops Cena with a kick for 2.  Gabriel lands some more kicks for 2.  Gabriel hits the Eddie hilo for 2.  Cena lands a dropkick for 2.  Cena goes up top.  Gabriel cuts him off and hits a superplex for 2.  Gabriel hits a top rope Lionsault for 2.  Gabriel goes for a suplex, but Cena reverses it.  They trade punches.  Gabriel hits a sloppy STO for 2.  Gabriel goes for a springboard, but Cena ducks him and makes his comeback.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but the rest of Nexus jump Cena for the DQ in 13:46.  Cena grabs a chair that Barrett brought into the ring and chases them off.  Parts of the match were fun.  Cena says he wants Barrett right now.  Barrett says he’ll face Cena at Hell In A Cell, with the stipulation that Cena joins Nexus if he wins.  Cena agrees, with the provision that Nexus ends if he wins.  Barrett agrees.

Pretty mediocre show, but there were a few good moments.