WWE Monday Night Raw 9/6/10

WWE open.

The Nexus are in the ring.  They show the video of them attacking The Undertaker last week.  They talk about how their bad asses and all of that stuff.  Slater brags about pinning the WWE Champion last week.  Gabriel brags about hitting the 450 on Undertaker AND John Cena last week.  They show him pinning Cena in the Elimination match last week.  Barrett says he pinned Randy Orton last week and he’ll win the WWE Championship at Night of Champions.  Randy Orton comes out.  He says he took out 2 of them in less than 30 seconds last week.  He says he’ll RKO Barrett.  Barrett challenges him to do it.  Michael Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000, announcing Gabriel vs. Cena and Barrett vs. Orton for tonight.  Nexus is banned from ringside for both matches.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Edge getting himself DQ’d to get out of the Elimination Match against Nexus last week.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Chris Jericho comes out.  Cole gets another fucking email from the stupid iBooker, who is angry about the BS Edge and Jericho pulled last week.  It says if Edge and Jericho don’t win their matches tonight, they’re out of the WWE Title match at Night of Champions.

Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison.  Jericho goes on the attack immediately.  Morrison gets a schoolboy for 2.  Repeat.  Jericho hits an elbow smash for 2.  Jericho throws Morrison out of the ring, then yells at Cole, wanting to know who the iBooker is.  Commercials.  Jericho cranks on a rear chin lock.  Jericho hits a backdrops suplex for 2.  Morrison makes his comeback and hits a cool STO backbreaker for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Morrison counters out.  Jericho lands an elbow smash and goes for the Lionsault.  Morrison avoids it and hits the Flying Chuck for 2.  Jericho goes for the Codebreaker, but Morrison avoids it by holding onto the ropes.  Jericho avoids a running knee strike and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Jericho hits an enzuigiri for 2.  Morrison avoids Jericho in the corner and Jericho spears the post.  Jericho avoids the Starship Pain and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Morrison gets a rope break.  Jericho goes for a superplex, but Morrison fights him off and hits the Starship Pain for the pin in 9:59.  Okay match.  Jericho is out of the title match at the PPV?  Damn.  Jericho is very upset.

Tonight, Cena vs. Gabriel and Barrett vs. Orton!  Commercials.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Melina (c) vs. Alicia Fox.  Fox cuts a bad promo on her way to the ring about how she’s better than Melina and LayCool combined.  She flubs up, saying “undefined” instead of “undisputed.”  Melina seems amused.  They lock up.  Melina hits a back body drop and a running splits kick.  Fox bails.  Fox says she’s leaving, but Melina isn’t letting that happen.  Melina hits a diving cross body for 2.  Fox beats up Melina for about a second.  Melina makes her comeback and goes for the Code Red out of the corner, but Fox counters it.  Melina hits the Sunset Split (leg drop Final Cut) for the pin in 2:08.  This sucked.

The Miz tells Josh Matthews about something that’s hidden under a sheet.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Edge bitches to Zack Ryder about having to defend his title match spot.  Ryder offers to be his opponent.  Edge says that’s a good idea because Ryder sucks and will be easy to beat.  Edge calls for the iBooker to make it happen or he will break it.  Ryder’s feels are hurt because Edge called him a tool.

Ted Dibiase Jr. talks on the phone, presumably to some chick.  Maryse comes in.  Dibiase says he was talking to his mom.  Maryse says she found his note in the limo.  Dibiase says he didn’t write it and it was probably FOR him.  They argue.  Whatever.

Gabriel vs. Cena is NEXT!  Commercials.

Next week on Raw is the season premiere and the return of Raw Roulette!

Justin Gabriel vs. John Cena.  Awesome bit of chain wrestling to start.  Cena applies a headscissors, of all things, then slaps Gabriel in the belly.  Gabriel lands some forearms and puts the boots to Cena.  Gabriel lands an elbow smash that sends Cena to the floor.  Gabriel brings Cena back in and hits the Eddie hilo for 2.  Gabriel keeps the heat on Cena.  Gabriel hits a springboard cross body for 2.  He keeps working over Cena with a cool submission hold and a Blue Thunder Driver for 2.  Cena avoids a Lionsault and makes his comeback.  Gabriel counters the Attitude Adjustment and hits an STO and a running knee strike.  Gabriel goes up top, but Cena cuts him off and hits the Attitude Adjusment off the top for the pin 6:10.  Really good little match.

Cole and Lawler introduce yet more TV time to be wasted hyping Cena’s new movie.  Lawler tries to spin the fact that few theaters want it as “only a few theaters have the privilege of showing it.”  Movie hype, then commercials.

WWE United States Champion The Miz is int he ring with his… whatever is hidden under the sheet.  He talks about his WWE career as they show various photographs from said career.  He reveals what was under the sheet: A WWE Magazine with him on the cover.  He babbles some more.  Daniel Bryan comes out.  Cole buries him while talking about how bad he wants to suck Miz’s cock.  That’s how I heard it, anyway.  They banter.  Bryan pokes fun at himself and his generic entrance music, but he says he’ll beat Miz for the U.S. Championship given the opportunity.  They banter some more and agree to a title match.  Miz takes a swing at Bryan, but Bryan locks him in the LeBell Lock.  Alex Riley comes in through the crowd to save Miz.  Bryan backdrops Miz out of the ring and locks Riley in the LeBell lock.  Miz looks on angrily as Riley taps out for all he’s worth.  Miz’s Money In The Bank briefcase opens, revealing that it is empty.  Heh.  Bryan kicks over Miz’s magazine cover.  Good segment.  Commercials.

This Week In WWE History: The first ever Monday Nitro on September 4, 1995.

Tonight, Orton vs. Barrett!

Edge is in action NEXT!  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: Last week, Edge bitched out on his team during the Elimination Match.  Hey, that was the Rewind AND the Slam of the Week!  No fair!

Cole now gets messages from the iBooker on his Blackberry.  It says that Cena will face the winner of Orton/Barrett next week.  Edge’s opponent is Great Khali, not Zack Ryder.  He threatens the iBooker laptop, but doesn’t harm it.

Edge vs. Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh).  Edge immediately bails and walks around like a zombie to mock Khali.  He grabs Ranjin, so Khali grabs him by the head.  Edge tries to run away, but Khali gives chase.  Edge kicks Khali in the knee, then beats the count into the ring to win it in 1:17.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker saying that the match will be restarted as a No DQ Over The Top Rope Challenge.  Commercials.

No DQ Over The Top Rope Challenge: Edge vs. Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh).  Edge lands some punches that have no effect.  Khali hits him with weak looking but large clotheslines and a big chop.  Edge bails under the bottom rope.  Khali steps over the top rope to pursue him.  Cole is the only one who notices.  It’s bad when Cole is the smart one.  Back inside, Edge goes for the spear.  Khali catches him and throws him over the middle rope.  Edge pulls Khali out over the top rope to win it in 1:41.  Nothing good here, but short enough to not be offensive.

Tonight, Orton vs. Barrett!  Commercials.

Cole and Lawler hype the Night of Champions card.

Josh Matthews tries to interview Chris Jericho, but Jericho ignores him.  John Morrison comes in and tries to give him a pep talk.  I’m pretty sure it’s a rip off of some movie.

WWE Champion Sheamus comes out to join Cole and Lawler for commentary on the main event, which is NEXT!  Commercials.

John Cena and Edge have also joined the commentary team.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton.  Orton beats up Barrett.  They go outside and Orton rams Barrett’s head into the announce table, beats the shit out of him, and throws him back into the ring.  Barrett mows down Orton with a big boot, the pounds on him.  Barrett hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Orton hits a backdrop suplex.  Barrett hits a backbreaker for 2.  Barrett lands some punches, then goes for the Wasteland.  Orton counters and hits a backbreaker.  Orton makes his comeback.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Barrett counters and backdrops him to the floor.  Darren Young comes out, bitches at Barrett, and says he’s the missing link.  Orton hits Barrett with the RKO for the pin in 6:03.  Young comes in to congratulate Orton and gets RKO’d too.  Sheamus distracts Edge.  Orton goes for the spear, but gets RKO’d too.  Sheamus misses the pump kick and also gets RKO’d.  Cena and Orton have a stare down.  They’ll meet next week!

Okay show.  Nothing to write home about, but nothing awful that lasted very long.