A complete chronological list of all of my reviews will be maintained here and updated whenever I post a new review.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,100 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.
This one’s for you, Biscuit.
The show starts with words from the Rumble participants. We are LIVE on iPPV!
Brad Stutts and Amber Gertner are on commentary.
CWF Mid-Atlantic Television Championship Match: Trevor Lee (c) (w/ Chet Sterling & CWF Mid-Atlantic Rising Generation League Champion Ben Tyler) vs. Matty De Nero (w/ Donnie Dollars). According to Stutts, Lee is 19 years old. I think that De Nero (a member of Fatback Enterprises) is the babyface. He hits a cannonball dive onto Lee’s cornermen. He then takes his shirt off, which frightens young Trevor Lee. Lee’s cornermen interfere and get T-bone suplexes for their trouble. Chet Sterling puts an object in Lee’s kickpad, allowing him to KO De Nero and get the pin in 4:24. A little short, but I guess they’ve got the long Rumble coming later.
“Hurricane” Shane Helms appears via video. He talks about going all over the world.
ArenaChicks Tournament Match: “The Rate Tank” Kellie Skater vs. Sassy Stephie. Both of these girls are in the same stable, so the manager comes out with both of them. They wrestle a bit, then accuse each other of cheating and start choking each other. The Coach tries to get them to make up, but they go at each other even more viciously. Stephie does the “hump the other girl’s face into the mat” deal, which always amuses me. The Coach has a whistle, but at least he’s not being Bill Alfonso and blowing it constantly. Coach Gemini? Is that the guy’s name? He keeps switching jerseys based on whoever has the advantage at a given moment. Skater counters Stephie’s “Kiss My Sass” and locks in an ankle lock. Stephie gets a rope break. Skater gets a reverse cradle, but get caught holding the tights. Stephie cuts it back, doesn’t get caught holding the tights, and gets the pin in 10:58. Chasity Taylor(?) tries to interview Skater, but gets shoved down for her trouble.
Commercial for the next iPPV, Ultimate Survivor.
CWF Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Title Match: The Killbillies (c) (w/ Bobby Jo Neil) vs. The Dawson Brothers. The Killbillies are undefeated as a team for 10 months. The Dawsons have apparently won several tag titles in North Carolina, but this one. Evan Banks annoys Zane Dawson my touching his impressive beard, and Zane kicks his ass. Killbillies cut Zane off and work him over. The Dawsons try to cut Banks off, but fail. The Killbillies do not fail to cut off Zane again. Zane knocks Aric Andrews out of the ring, where Dave Dawson outs a hurting on him. The Dawsons get the heat on Andrews. Aric Andrews is an awesome face in peril. Evan Banks gets the hot tag and RUNS WILD~! Dave Dawson grabs Bobby Jo Neil at ringside and gets PBR spit in his face. Evans hits Zane with a knee trembler and a spear for the pin in 14:42. My new favorite tag team, the Killbillies, retain! Good formulaic tag match, very fun.
Video explaining the next match. It’s a bounty match. Coach Gemini has put a bounty on Arik Royal, and Jake Manning is thinking about taking it.
“The Man Scout” Jake Manning (w/ Freight Train) vs. Arik Royal. Manning is a boy scout, but he’s a man, so… he’s a man scout. Will the fine, upstanding man scout do the dastardly thing and injure Arik Royal? Manning offers a handshake. Royal declines. They have a clean sporting match. Manning is apparently a father/big brother figure for Freight Train, a large black man who seems sort of… special. They start clubberin’ each other. Royal injures his knee. Coach Gemini comes out to wave the money in Manning’s face. Manning appears to take the deal, as he attacks Royal’s knee. Manning applies a figure-four leglock. Coach Gemini distracts the referee. Manning grabs a chair and threatens to Pillmanize Royal’s leg. Freight Train tells Manning not to do it. Manning throws out the chair and goes for the figure-four. Royal cradles him for 2, then kicks him in the face for the pin in 11:51. My second favorite match of the night so far. Gemini berates Manning. Freight Train comes in and gives him a hilariously gentle forearm, then takes the money. Royal and Freight Train help Manning up.
Chiva Kid and Ray Kandrack promos.
CWF Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Championship Match: Ray Kandrack (c) vs. Chiva Kid. Chiva Kid is the much smaller man. He’s impressive too. Nice springboard headbutt followed by a standing Shooting Star press. SUICIDE DIVE BY CHIVA KID! Kandrack clotheslines Chiva Kid and the apron and Kid does a 360 bump to the floor. Awesome. Kandrack hip tosses Chiva into the post. Freaking OUCH. Oklahoma Stampede gets 2 for the champion. I’m digging this match. Chiva’s bumping like a madman. Great big man/little man match. Headbutt battle! Chiva Kid makes a comeback and escapes Kandrack’s finish, the Ray Gun (Death Valley Driver). Chiva’s hurting, but he’s still in it. SHOOTING STAR PRESS! KANDRACK KICKED OUT! I thought that was it. Kandrack ducks a kick and hits the Ray Gun for the… 2 or 3? The referee decides that it was 2. The match continues! Kandrack is NOT HAPPY. CHIVA KID HITS A DRAGONRANA FROM THE RAFTERS! And it’s only 2! Crowd is HOT for this. COME ON CHIVA! Chiva knocks Kid down and goes up top again. Chiva CRASHES AND BURNS. Kandrack hits the Gamma Ray for the pin in 13:59. This match RULED!
Now they’re airing a match from Britannia Wrestling Promotions England.
PWI/BWP World Catchweight Championship Match: “The Toxic Terror” Alex Cyanide (c) vs. Shaun “The Hammer” Davis. Clipped. They beat on each other inside a ridiculously tiny ring. Cyanide is a rather large bloke. Cyanide hits a powerbomb and 2 big splashes, but doesn’t cover. Davis hits a chokeslam off the middle rope. It’s a double KO. At least it’s over. What was the point of this? Just to kill ten minutes?
They show some photos of Jake Manning and somebody going to England to interview Dynamite Kid. Depressing.
Comments from Rumble participants. And now it’s Rumble time! Cory Edsel explains how a Rumble works, just in case you’ve never watched Pro Wrestling before.
30-Person CWF Rumble: #1 is Chase Dakota. #2 is Jason (not Mayhem) Miller. Dakota narrowly survives early elimination. Sweet sit out full nelson face buster by Miller. #3 is Chet Sterling. Miller destroys him. Miller hits a belly to belly on Dakota and Sterling at the same time. He throws them both out. Sterling is out, but Dakota saves himself again. #4 is Sassy Stephie, substituting for someone. Stephie and Dakota work together. Being slapped by Stephie only pisses Miller off. #5 is Mark James, who promptly beats the shit out of Chase Dakota. James sets Stephie on the apron. She slaps him. James pie faces her off the apron, then returns to beating up Dakota. Apparently James and Miller are tag team partners. #6 is CWF Mid-Atlantic Television Champion Trevor Lee, who promptly falls victim to a double spinebuster. James and Lee pair off, as do Miller and Dakota. #7 is Jesse Ortega, who helps from the floor to eliminate Miller. Miller attacks him, but is held back by the officials. Mark James tosses Ortega out so Miller can kick his ass. #8 is Solomon Spades, Dakota’s mentor. Lee bails while Spade and Dakota go after James. James gets the better off them and Lee Pearl Harbors him. James deals with him as well. #9 is Donnie Dollars, who cleans house. Joe Black appears and attacks Dollars, who tosses him. Dollars eliminates Dakota and Spades. Lee and Dollars face off. Lee took the TV title from Dollars last month with help from Spades and Dakota. #10 is CWF Mid-Atlantic Rising Generation League Champion and Lee’s partner, Ben Tyler. Dollars kicks both of their asses. #11 is Michael McAllister. His music is “I’m sexy and I know it,” so I hate him. Jason Miller and Jesse Ortega reappear, still fighting. #12 is “Ice Man” Joe Storm, who brings some plunder to the party. Storm plays the role of the poor man’s Sandman/Tommy Dreamer and has fun with weapons. #13 is Mecha Mercenary, who no sells Storm’s Singapore cane shots and throws him out. Mecha eliminates Donnie Dollars with a clothesline. The remaining guys in the ring, all heels, try to avoid him. #14 is Ty Dillinger, who attacks McAllister with a club and tosses him out. Dillingers backs into Mecha and tries to whack him with the club. That fails, but he grabs Mecha’s beard and lands some punches. Mecha tosses him. The Fun Athletic Guys (Lee and Tyler) dance around like goofballs and try to avoid Mecha’s wrath. #15 is Matt Smith, who runs wild on the heels in the ring before he gets powerbombed by Mecha. Trevor Lee barely avoids elimination. Smith hits a Northern Lights suplex and a Shining Wizard on Tyler, then gets killed by Mecha. #16 is Kamakazi Kid, who unexpectedly helps Mecha. Kazi takes his mask off. It’s CECIL SCOTT! The real Kazi appears and kicks his ass before being forced to the back. #17 is Amber O’Neal. Lee tries to kiss her. She throws glitter in his eyes. She gives Ben Tyler a stink face, then rams Lee’s head into Tyler’s balls. She gives them both a bronco buster. Mecha grabs her. #18 is Freight Train, who faces off with Mecha and gives him some love taps. Amber O’Neal gives Cecil Scott an X Factor, then Freight Train whips him and O’Neal low bridges him out of the ring. Dammit. Mecha eliminates Freight Train. #19 is Roy Wilkins. O’Neal grabs Lee’s and Tyler’s balls. Wilkins kicks her in the face and the Fun Athletic Guys eliminate her. Matt Smith eliminates Mecha Mercenary! Smith is fired up! #20 is Marcellus King. The Fun Athletic Guys attack him and get their asses kicked. King eliminates both of them. Smith and King beat up Roy Wilkins. #21 is Walter Eaton, Wilkins’ tag team partner. Smith is eliminated by Eaton and Wilkins. #22 is Devin Dalton. He’s a U.S. Marine, and he kicks ass like one. #23 is Nick Richards, who goofs off with King. #24 is Ric Converse. King waits for him, but Eaton nails him from behind. This only pisses King off, but the distraction allows Converse to eliminate King. Converse gives Dalton the Richter Scale, and Eaton tosses him. #25 is Chris Lea, who the crowd loves, and who immediately goes after Converse. Lea slips on a springboard, but catches Converse and dropkicks him to the apron. Eaton kills Lea with a clotheslines. #26 is Matty De Nero, who has a power gauntlet. What? IT WORKS! He punches the mat and knocks everyone down. Awesome. #27 is “The Rate Tank” Kellie Skater. De Nero gives her the power glove, and she throws it away and attacks him. De Nero decks her and teases eliminating her. Skater throws him out of the ring onto the ramp to eliminate him. #28 is Chiva Kid! He and Skater go at it. He’s still selling his back from earlier. Awesome. He tries to springboard, but Skater kicks him off the apron to the floor. #29 is Kamakazi Kid for real this time. He kills Skater with an uppercut and tosses her out. Cecil Scott and Mecha Mercenary reappear to attack Kazi. “The Boogie Woogie Man” Rob McBride appears to get rid of Mecha and Scott. #30 is Steve Greene, who seems to be both a surprise and a huge deal. Greene cleans house. Eaton and Wilkins eliminate him. Kazi and Lea go at it. Kazi hits a Frankensteiner. Lea hits the Eat Defeat (Soul Food), and Eaton eliminates Kazi. Converse and Lea brawl again. We’re down to five. Lea counters the Richter Scale and eliminates Converse. Apparently this is Lea’s pro debut. Impressive. Final four are Lea, Eaton, Wilkins, and Richards. Lea and Wilkins struggle to eliminate each other. Wilkins and Eaton eliminate him with a dropkick. Eaton and Wilkins are left with Richards. Stutts keeps calling them the Goon Squad. Is that their actual name? They put a beating on Richards. Goons set up a Doomsday Device. Richards fights out and gives Eaton a butterfly suplex off the top, then gives Eaton an avalanche-style backdrop suplex! Double clothesline! Richards is FIRED UP! Double DDT! The Goons cut him off and put a beating on him. Goons go for the Gang Bang. Richards counters out and hits a cutter on Wilkins. Richards manages to toss Eaton. Wilkins throws Richards out through the ropes. Eaton attacks him at ringside and gives him a sit-out Pedigree on the floor. Richards comes back in. Wilkins tries to eliminate him. Richards pulls him to the apron, a dangerous place to fight. Wilkins sends Richards into the post and to the floor to win it in 56:27. Damn. Fun Rumble. They really had me hooked at the end. Goons celebrate.
The show ends with a Killbillies promo, which is perfectly fine with me. Ultimate Survivor, November 17!
Very fun show, very much worth the $10. I’m glad I could support CWF Mid-Atlantic’s first iPPV.
I’m trying something different here. I don’t get to write reviews often anymore due to being a very stressed college senior, but every now and then I get the chance to watch a little bit of Pro Wrestling and would like to share my thoughts on it. So, from time to time, I may post what I’m calling a diary with short thoughts on whatever I happen to watch that day. Full show reviews may still happen in the future, if I ever have free time again.
I picked the the ECW Unreleased Vol. 1 Blu-ray recently, and this evening I’m taking a few hours off from stressing about life, the universe, and everything to enjoy it for a bit.
Former ECW announcer and current WWE.com guy Joey Styles is hosting this thing.
NWA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Final: ECW Heavyweight Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (Hardcore TV, August 27, 1994). This was the night Extreme Championship Wrestling was born. Douglas and Scorpio had a very watchable little back and forth wrestling match, which Douglas won with a belly to belly suplex in 12:52 after Scorpio missed a moonsault. But the post-match promo is where it’s at. Douglas refuses the title, saying the NWA is a dead organization. He instead declares his ECW title to be a World title. Soon after, Eastern Championship Wrestling became Extreme Championship Wrestling.
Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven (w/ Stevie Richards & Beulah McGillicutty) (Hostile City Showdown, April 15, 1995). Fun little brawl. Raven gives Dreamer 3 consecutive DDTs, but Dreamer kicks out. Dreamer DDTs Raven on the floor, but Stevie interferes. Dreamer DDTs Stevie and the referee, then Beulah runs in. Dreamer gives her a piledriver and Philadelphia, apparently big fans of domestic violence, love it. Raven is announced as the winner by DQ. Joey Styles puts it over as a moral victory for Dreamer. Stevie carries Beulah to the back instead of allowing her to be stretchered.
Joey Styles puts over the workrate guys like Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero who got their first shot in the United States in ECW.
2 Cold Scorpio & Dean Malenko vs. ECW World Television Champion Eddie Guerrero & Taz (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) (Heat Wave, 7/15/95). The audio on some of these is pretty bad. You can hear the announcer, but not the guys talking on the microphone. So the banter before this match is completely lost on me. This reminds me, I used to love Taz. There’s something awesome about a short, stout guy who’s a total ass kicker. If this isn’t the match where Taz broke his neck, it’s the same configuration of guys. 3 minutes in Eddie and Malenko tag in and start chain wrestling and I vomit rainbows in joy. Scorpio and Taz have an awesome mat exchange that ends with Scorpio getting suplexed out of his boots. For that matter, every combination of these guys is awesome, but Malenko and Eddie are two of my favorite wrestlers of all time. Malenko puts Taz in a Sharpshooter that Joey Styles misidentifies as a Texas Cloverleaf. I expect better from you, Joey! I love how they’re working a really good wrestling match, but not at such a fast pace that you can’t digest anything. Eddie hits a brainbuster that Malenko sells awesomely by convulsing like he just had a seizure. He apparently still has feeling in his body, because he managed to kick out of the frog splash that followed. Determined to paralyze Malenko, Eddie dropkicks him off the top turnbuckle to the floor. Taz and Eddie hit a dropkick Doomsday Device. That’s kind of neat. Another Malenko/Eddie exchange with another misidentified Sharpshooter. Have I forgotten what a Texas Cloverleaf is? Okay, I googled it. Looks like I’m the idiot. Sorry, Joey. Scorpio hits a dive to the floor. Malenko tries to do one, but appears to lose his nerve and goes with an elbow smash off the apron. More dives. Paul E. hits Scorpio with the cell phone. Taz hits a head-arm suplex for the pin. State appointed referee Bill Alfonso orders the match restarted. Scorpio superkicks Taz and Malenko hits the Tiger Driver on Eddie. Alfonso fast counts the double pin to give it to Malenko and Scorpio in about 20 minutes. This was pretty damned good, much to the surprise of no one.
ECW World Television Championship Match: “The Shooter” Dean Malenko (c) vs. Eddie Guerrero (Hardcore TV, July 28, 1995). This match is great. Seeing wrestlers of this caliber bust their asses for the sake of having a good match reminds me why I love professional wrestling. Guerrero catches Malenko with a jackknife hold for the pin to recapture the title 11:47.
Joey Styles puts over Cactus Jack, always my favorite face of Foley.
Cactus Jack vs. “The Franchise” Shane Douglas (CyberSlam, 2/17/96). Douglas jumps Cactus, who is wearing a jacket and tie for some reason. That quickly goes, but Cactus is wearing a shirt underneath. Good. I’ve never seen Mick Foley shirtless, and I never want to. The referee is Brian Hildebrand (aka Mark Curtis), God rest him. Cactus is wearing the “Forgive me, Uncle Eric” shirt that I remember reading about in his first book. Joey notes that Cactus didn’t come to wrestle tonight, hence the jacket, tie, and cowboy boots. They brawl. Crutches, guardrails, and chairs come into play. Douglas hits a dive from the top rope into the crowd onto Cactus. I’ve never seen that out of him. Cactus does the “spit in the air and catch it in his mouth” bit, which is disgusting. Joey Styles calls it “Vintage Cactus Jack” here in 1996, so fuck you, Michael Cole. The referee hands Douglas an international object, which Douglas clocks Cactus with. They’re handcuffs! Douglas handcuffs Cactus and picks up a chair. Cactus tries to fight back, but gets murdered in the face with a chair not as badly as he did with The Rock at Royal Rumble 1999, but still… Cactus calls for help from Vince McMahon (this was right before Foley went to the WWF). Since Vince doesn’t come out to help, Cactus calls for Mikey Whipwreck. Douglas is trying to make Foley say “I Quit.” So this really IS like Rumble ’99. Douglas locks in a figure-four leglock. Mikey Whipwreck runs in with a chair and… murders Cactus in the face with it. Hildebrand counts the pin while Cactus is still in the figure-four in 15:42. This was fun.
“Lion Heart” Chris Jericho vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (The Doctor Is In, 8/3/96). There’s too much dancing in Scorpio’s entrance for my enjoyment. I don’t know anything about dancing, so I don’t know if it’s even good or not. This must have been one of Jericho’s last matches before going to WCW. Good wrestling here. Jericho goes a really wonky submission hold that even Joey can’t identify. Crowd chants “This show sucks!” I have no idea why. They do some near falls. Scorpio kicks Jericho out of the ring to the floor and says he’s going to finish him. Jericho stays in the game, though. Jericho tries to spring off the top and hit Scorpio on the apron, but eats the floor instead. Scorpio hits a diving leg drop that I thought might be the finish, but Jericho’s got some fight left. Jericho hits his rebound from the turnbuckle into a dropkick to the apron deal. There should be an easier way to say that. Scorpio hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the top that wins i… NO! OMGWTF JERICHO KICKED OUT. More counters and near falls. They do some mildly crazy bumps, such as when Jericho powerslams Scorpio off the top rope. Scorpio hits a Tombstone Piledriver and a Shooting Star press for the pin in 19:58. Okay, yeah, this was pretty good.
Joey Styles talks about Sabu.
Tables & Ladders Match for the ECW World Tag Team Championship: The Eliminators (c) vs. Sabu & Rob Van Dam (CyberSlam, 2/22/97). Saturn says the winners of this match will be the best team in the world. That’s a stretch. Tables and ladders are legal in this match, so of course, RVD and Saturn start with back and forth wrestling while the partners stand politely on the apron. They start bringing in the plunder and taking crazy bumps at around the 7 minute mark. With these bumps into ladders, it’s no wonder Perry Saturn has always been a bit touched in the head. Saturn splashes Van Dam off a ladder. Sabu kicks the ladder into Kronus, then puts him through a table at ringside. Joey with the classic “OH MY GOD!” The Eliminators keep the title when Kronus pins RVD after 2 Total Eliminations in 20:40. Wild and fun.
And now, a brief digression. I was chatting with a friend on Facebook (shout out, Shawn!) about memories of early 2000s wrestling and the time that Triple H defended the WWF title against TAKA Michinoku on Raw popped into my head. I searched YouTube, and…
WWF Championship Match: Triple H (c) (w/ Shane McMahon & WWF Women’s Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs. TAKA Michinoku (w/ Funaki & The Acolytes) (RAW IS WAR, 4/10/00). TAKA is a mystery opponent. He hires the Acolyte Protection Agency to watch his back and they immediately run off Shane McMahon. This match is all kinds of fun. TAKA gets his shine and Jim Ross convinces you that he has a shot to win the WWF title. It doesn’t help that Hunter is being a real shit ass to referee Earl Hebner. Earl lets it go when Funaki dropkicks Triple H into the APA and the APA beat the hell out of him. Vince and Shane McMahon come out and distract the Acolytes. The Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan Pearl Harbor TAKA’s protectors, and Hunter hits the Pedigree for the pin in 5:53. The dastardly heels put the boots to The Acolytes. Man, this was fun and brought back fond memories of being a 12 year old WWF mark.
I’ve had a rough week and felt pretty miserable about life a few hours ago. This heaping does of pro wrestling nostalgia was exactly what I needed. I hope to find some free time again soon to watch the rest of the ECW set and the new CM Punk release.
New WWE open, which debuted on the 1,000th Raw. Intro video for the 25th SummerSlam, which isn’t the 25th anniversary, but is billed as such because WWE doesn’t know how anniversaries work. Pyro and ballyhoo. We are LIVE from Los Angeles! Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.
Vickie Guerrero comes out to scream at us. I guess that means Ziggler vs. Jericho is up first. They show clips of Ziggler winning the Money In The Bank Ladder Match last month. Jericho comes out and they show a clip of Ziggler injuring Jericho’s ribs this past Smackdown. Justin Roberts is a ring announcer.
Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Chris Jericho. Jericho is sporting taped ribs from the aforementioned attack. Ziggler runs around the ring and Jericho gives chase. Back inside, Jericho catches him with an elbow smash and beats him up a bit. Ziggler does a drop down and a leap frog, but Jericho catches him with a chop. Ziggler avoids a suplex and attacks the injured ribs. Jericho gets a reprieve by back body dropping Ziggler to the floor. He goes for his rebound dropkick to the apron, but fails and eats the floor as Ziggler makes it back into the ring. Ziggler continues to punish the ribs. Vickie is obnoxious at ringside. Ziggler hits a Rude Awakening, complete with gyrating hips, then pulls a Jericho classic on foot cover for 2. Jericho gets whipped into the ropes, but catches Ziggler with a schoolboy for 2. Ziggler charges Jericho in the corner, eats it, and Jericho gets a brief flurry. Ziggler charges the corner again and eats Jericho’s boot. Jericho follows with a diving elbow smash. Ziggler sends Jericho into the post, then hits the Fameasser for 2. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, fails, but lands an enzuigiri for 2. Ziggler avoids Jericho in the corner, jumps on his back, and clamps on the sleeper hold. Jericho backs Ziggler into the corner to escape. Ziggler kicks him in the ribs and goes up top. Jericho cuts him off, pounds on him, and hits a top rope Frankensteiner~! Delayed cover gets 2. Ziggler catches Jericho out of nowhere with a swank DDT for 2. They trade shots. Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault. Ziggler catches him in the injured ribs with raised knees, then hits the Zig Zag, but Jericho kicks out! Jericho catches Ziggler with the Codebreaker. Ziggler rolls to the floor. Jericho throws Ziggler back into the ring. Vickie grabs Jericho’s leg, allowing Ziggler to get an inside cradle for 2. Jericho sends Ziggler into the post and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Ziggler taps in 13:06. Yes, Jericho won, but is this really “the big one?” It made sense when Jericho did this angle with The Rock in 2001 and won the World title, but is the opening match of SummerSlam the same thing? Good match, though.
Slim Jim commercial.
They show Brock Lesnar destroying Shawn Michaels on Raw last week.
Matt Striker interviews Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. Well, Paul does all of the talking.
Lillian Garcia is also a ring announcer. The Spanish announcers, Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez, are present as well.
Daniel Bryan vs. Kane. Kane has his dukes up, which amuses me. Bryan kicks at the larger man’s legs. Kane catches a kick and throws him down. Bryan avoids an elbow and kicks him some more. Kane punches him a bit. Bryan backflips off the top rope, then gets slammed for 2. Kane stomps Bryan in the corner. Fans are chanting for Bryan. Bryan fails at a reverse cradle and eats a big boot. Cover gets 2 for Kane. Bryan kicks at Kane’s knee some more. Kane nonchalantly choke throws Bryan out of the ring. Bryan gets back in as Kane comes out and takes him out with a tope suicide. Back inside, Bryan hits a missile dropkick for 2. Bryan lands more kicks as the crowd chants “YES!” Kane ducks a critical blow and lands a clothesline. Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2. Kane hits the diving lariat and goes for the chokeslam. Bryan counters out and rolls to the apron, pulls Kane’s head over the top rope, then comes back in to eat a punch. Bryan slaps Kane defiantly. Kane beats the crap out of him in the corner until the referee forces a break. Bryan takes the opportunity and goes on the offensive. He goes for the LeBell/Yes/No Lock, fails, and settles for kicking Kane in the chest. He gets annoyed at the “YES!” chants and goes for the diving headbutt. Kane catches him by the throat and hits the chokeslam. Instead of covering, he signals for the Tombstone. Bryan counters it into an inside cradle for the pin in 8:03! Bryan wins! YES! YES! YES! Fun little match.
Kane, pissed that lost, rampages around backstage. Josh Matthews tries to interview him, but Kane grabs him by the throat, yells “WHERE?! IS?! HE?!” and throws him away, then continues his rampage.
Don’t drink and drive.
WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. I think Mysterio’s costume is supposed to be Batman. They lock up. Miz lands a shoulder block. Mysterio sits up and kind of stares at him. They do a bit of wrestling that ends in Rey getting a near fall and Miz taking a quick powder. Miz comes back in and gets to stompin’. Rey hits a flying headscissors. Miz throws Rey out of the ring. Rey slides back in as Miz slides out, then dropkicks Miz through the ropes. Miz sends Rey torso-first into the barricade. Back inside, Miz goes to work. Rey counters a backdrop and gets a 2 count. Miz catches Rey with that lucha-style backbreaker that Jericho does on Rey for 2. Miz beats on Rey some more. Rey tries to make a comeback, but eats a clothesline, which gets a 2 count for Miz. Miz hits his corner clothesline and goes up top, but Rey dropkicks Miz, crotching h im on the top turbuckle. Rey hits the diving seated senton and goes for a rana, but Miz catches him with a powerbomb for 2. Rey ducks a kick and gets a cradle for 2, then kicks Miz in the head for another 2. Combine the two, and he got a 4 count, so he almost won under Canadian rules. Rey hits a whirly DDT for 2. Rey goes up top again, but gets caught. Rey fights Miz off and hits a diving headscissors, which puts Miz into 619 position. Rey hits the 619 and goes for the diving splash, but Miz avoids it. Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Rey turns it into a cradle for 2. Miz launches Rey into the turnbuckles, then hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 9:10. It was okay, but I never really got into it.
Plug for the WWE iPhone/Android app. I downloaded it. It’s not that interesting.
Teddy Long and Eve Torres walk out of the GM’s office and talk about how quirky AJ Lee is. They walk away and WWE Champion CM Punk walks into the office. He complains to AJ about being in a Triple Threat Match tonight. She just cocks her head and stares off into space, ignoring him.
Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio hype video.
Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio for the World Championship match.
World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio. They lock up. Del Rio backs Sheamus into the corner. Repeat. They tumble out of the ring together and brawl on the floor. Back inside, Sheamus hits a neckbreaker for 2. Sheamus hits the Finlay Roll for 2. Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but fails. He ends up getting Del Rio up on his shoulders as Del Rio exposes the turnbuckle. Sheamus counters the Minoru Special and misses the Brogue Kick. Del Rio kicks Sheamus off the apron, then sends him knee first into the steps. Back inside, Del Rio clamps on a rear chin lock. Sheamus escapes and goes for another neckbreaker, but Del Rio kicks him in the knee, then in the head for 2. They fight some more. Del Rio is wearing black gear that looks reall weird on him for some reason. He taunts Sheamus by doing the “Brogue!” taunt. He teases a Brogue Kick, but Sheamus cuts him off. Del Rio sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post. Sheamus tries to go up top, but gets cut off. Del Rio hits an arm breaker (pulling the knees into the arm) off the top for 2. There has to be a better name for that move. Del Rio goes for his move, but Sheamus counters. Del Rio counters the counter and hits the Minoru Special. Sheamus powers up and slams Del Rio down. Sheamus hits the White Noise (Schwein) for 2. Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Del Rio avoids him. Sheamus clubbers Del Rio in the chest. Why hasn’t the referee fixed that exposed turnbuckle? Oh, I see. Del Rio drops Sheamus into the exposed buckle, then hits an enzuigiri, but Sheamus kicks out! Del Rio roughs up Ricardo just because he’s a dick. Sheamus hits Del Rio with Ricardo’s shoe, then hits the White Noise for the pin in 11:24, even though Del Rio’s foot was on the bottom rope. That’s actually the finish? Okay then. Del Rio and Ricardo bitch at the referee, and rightfully so. This match did not click with me at all.
Plug for the National Guard, or rather, how great WWE is for supporting the National Guard.
Cole and Lawler plug Night of Champions.
On the pre-show, Triple H told referee Scott Armstrong to not DQ or count anyone out tonight in his match with Brock Lesnar.
Last week on Raw, the Prime Time Players beat up R-Truth while Kofi Kingston was in China, then Touted about it.
WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (c) vs. The Prime Time Players. Truth beats up Young to start. O’Neil tags in and drops Truth with a boot, barks, and covers for 2. Kofi tags in and keeps O’Neil off balance with his speed. Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Young distracts him. Heel chicanery on the outside leads to the Players getting the advantage. Kofi plays face in peril. Young looks like he’s trying to get Kofi in some retarded triangle choke. It fails completely, but he continues to put a beating on Kofi. O’Neil tags in and applies an abdominal stretch. Kofi turns a spinning slam into a spike DDT. Truth gets the hot tag and runs wild on Darren Young. Truth hits a front suplex. Cover, but O’Neil saves. O’Neil throws Kofi out of the ring, but Kofi skins the cat, low bridges him out, and takes him out with a dive. Truth thinks about a dive, but Young schoolboys him for 2. Young goes for something and fails, and Truth hits the Paydirt, whatever he’s calling it this week, for the pin in 7:07. Players are nothing without AW. This match was pretty close to nothing, too.
Punk/Cena/Show hype video.
Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. John Cena vs. The Big Show. Big Show beats up everyone to start. Punk seems to be channeling Bret Hart with his pink gear. Cena and Punk unite to try to suplex Show, but Show suplexes both of them at the same time. Show wins on them some more. Cena gets tossed out of the ring by Show and Punk makes a comeback until he stupidly goes for the Go 2 Sleep and fails. Cena tries to give Show the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk pushes them over. Punk covers Cena, but Show saves. Show beats up Punk some more and throws Cena out of the ring again. Punk avoids Show in the corner and goes for a springboard cross body, but Show catches him and hits the Final Cut. Show signals for the KO punch, but Cena reappears and cuts him off. Show spears Cena for 2. Show goes for a Vader Bomb onto both opponents, but Punk avoids it and Cena takes the full brunt. Punk breaks Show’s cover. Show throws Punk out of the ring, then goes after Cena on the other side. Punk tries a dive, but Show catches him and launches him into the ropes from the outside. Awesome. Show and Cena go at it in the ring. Punk pulls Show’s head over the top rope, allowing Cena to hit a backdrop suplex. LA crowd doesn’t like Cena. Cena signals for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Punk cuts him off. Punk hits the diving elbow drop on Show. Cover, but Show throws him across the ring at 2. Punk kicks Show in the head and locks in the Koji Clutch, of all things. Show breaks out. Punk takes a powder. Cena hits Show with a shoulder block and locks in the STF. Show stands and backs Cena into the corner. Cena goes for a dive, but Show catches and slams him. Punk drops Show with a diving lariat and hits him with 3 running knees to the corner, but Show counters the bulldog. Cena hits Show with the diving Fameasser, but ends up on the apron. Punk locks Show in the Koji Clutch. Cena also applies the STF. Show taps. The referee calls for the bell, but there are 2 winners. Cena and Punk argue with the referee. Raw GM AJ Lee skips out and rules that the match must continue. Show immediately chokeslams both me. Cover on Cena gets 2. Cover on Punk gets 2. Cena ducks the KO punch and hits Show with the Attitude Adjustment. Punk throws Cena out of the ring and pins Show in 14:28. Very enjoyable match. Punk celebrates.
Celebrities are here! Including former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette and WrestleMania participant Maria Menounos (sporting a Bob Backlund shirt).
Trailer for WWE Films’ latest, The Day.
On the preshow, Antonio Cesaro beat Santino Marella for the WWE United States Championship, with help from Aksana.
Kevin Ruldolf (who?) performs the SummerSlam theme song. People Dance like idiots. The divas come out to dance: Tamina, Kaitlyn, Natalya, Aksana, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Cameron, Naomi, Layla, Rosa Mendez, and Alicia Fox.
Triple H/Lesnar hype video.
Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Triple H. Brock immediately powers Triple H into the corner. Hunter comes back with punches. Brock repeats and goes for the Kimura. Triple H counters. Brock beats him in the corner some more and goes for it again. He gets a standing version, but Hunter is in the ropes. Triple H fights back and clotheslines Brock out of the ring. Brock comes back in and beats up Triple H in the corner some more. Hunter lands a knee lift and clotheslines Brock out of the ring again. Lesnar looks irked. Brock comes back in and takes off his gloves. It’s a bare knuckle fight now! Brock gets a double leg takedown and pummels Triple H with a few punches. Hunter bails, selling a punch to the back of the head. They brawl outside. Brock gives Hunter a hammerlock slam onto the announce table. The brawl some more back inside. Brock delivers another hammerlock slam. Brock continues working the arm. Triple H counters an F-5 attempt, but Brock hits him with a BIG German suplex. Brock stomps Triple H’s arm again. Triple H tries to bail, gets caught, and pulls Brock against the top rope. Hunter manages to score with a DDT. Brock immediately goes after the arm again. I always enjoy a hammerlock slam, and Brock is dishing them out liberally tonight. They go outside and Lesnar sends Triple H into the post. They wreck the Spanish announce table. Brock actually jumps off of it and hits Triple H with a big chop. Back in the ring, Triple H tries to fight back. Lesnar gets an inside cradle of all things for 2. Lesnar hits a clothesline and goes for a suplex, but Hunter counters and suplexes him. Lesnar clotheslines the turnbuckle. Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but fails, gets whipped into the corner, and does the Michaels flip out of the ring. Brock takes a shot into the announce table on his stomach and starts dry heaving. The announcers talk about his issues with diverticulitis. Hunter goes after the midsection. He hits some knee lifts to the stomach. Triple H hits the spinebuster and goes for the Pedigree. Lesnar counters and goes for the F-5. Triple H counters and hits the Pedigree, but Lesnar kicks out. Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Lesnar hits him square in the balls. The referee, per Hunter’s request, is letting it go. Lesnar hits the F-5, but Triple H kicks out. Lesnar locks on the standing Kimura again. Triple H tries to fight out, but Lesnar goes to the ground with it. Triple H gets the ropes, but the ref isn’t enforcing the rules. Hunter fights out of the hold. Hunter hits the Pedigree and goes for the cover, but Lesnar gets the Kimura again. Triple H taps in 18:45. I’m absolutely shocked that they did the right thing and put Lesnar over. The match was an intense brawl, but not on the level of Lesnar/Cena. I’ll give it a thumbs slightly up. Lesnar leaves. Hunter refuses medical attention. Fans chant “YOU TAPPED OUT!”, which is probably not what WWE was going for with this. Hunter mouths “I’m sorry” and leaves to a mixture of boos and polite applause.
This show started well, dipped really low in the middle, peaked with the triple threat match, and ended okay. I’d say the show as a whole is thumbs in the middle.
WWE open, awesome PPV opening video, pryo and ballyhoo. Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T are the announcers. Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer. Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez are the Spanish announcers.
They show the shenanigans leading up to Kane vs. Randy Orton involving their respective fathers, Paul Bearer and Bob Orton Jr.
Falls Count Anywhere Match: Kane vs. Randy Orton. They brawl. Orton gets punched off the top to the floor. Cover on the floor gets 2. Kane brings in a leg pipe. Orton cuts him off and hits him with the pipe a few times, knocking him back to the floor on the last shot. They fight in the crowd. Orton knees Kane in the face for 2. Kane slams Orton on the concrete for 2. More crowd brawling. They end up near the set. Orton lands a dropkick for 2. Kane blocks the RKO and boots Orton in the face for 2. They brawl backstage. They end up in a room with some geeks. Zack Ryder attacks Kane, which only pisses him off. Kane goozles Ryder, but Orton hits the 3.0 for 2. Back into the hallway. Kane throws something at Orton and covers for 2. Back into the arena. Back into the ring. Orton drops Kane with a clothesline and hits a powerslam. Orton retrieves a chair from underneath the ring and attacks Kane with it. Back outside, where Orton clears off the announce table. Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Orton prevents it. Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER off the table to the floor! Cover gets 2. Kane blocks the RKO and sends Orton into the post. Cover gets 2. Back inside, Kane goes up top. Orton crotches him and hits a superplex. Cover gets 2. Orton humps the mat. Kane hits the chokeslam, but Orton kicks out! Kane bitches at the referee. Kane goes for the Tombstone on the chair. Orton counts out and hits the RKO sort of on the chair for the pin in 16:45. Fun match.
John Laurinaitis and Eve Torres are backstage with the Raw Roulette wheel. Teddy Long brings in champagne. He’s being humiliated after he lost his GM job at WrestleMania. Laurinaitis gets a phone call from Triple H.
“The Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/ Hornswoggle, Cameron, & Naomi) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger). They lock up. Clay overpowers Ziggler. Ziggler tries to take Clay down, but fails. Swagger distracts Clay, allowing Ziggler to dropkick him out of the ring. Ziggler distracts the referee while Swagger hits a shoulder block on the floor. Back inside, Ziggler goes on the attack. Clay goes for a knee lift, but Ziggler dropkicks his knee, then hits the Fameasser for 2. Ziggler lands a dropkick for 1. Ziggler applies a rear chin lock. Clay fights out. Ziggler stays on the attack. He goes for a suplex, but fails. Clay throws him with a front suplex and makes his comeback. Clay knocks Swagger on the apron. Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but fails. Clay hits a headbutt and a big splash for the pin in 4:18. It was fine for what it was.
Earlier in the day, The Big Show and Cody Rhodes played Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal to determine the stipulation for their Intercontinental title match tonight. It’s a Tables Match.
Lillian Garcia is the other ring announcer.
The show highlights of Show’s title victory over Rhodes at WrestleMania XXVIII.
Tables Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: The Big Show (c) vs. Cody Rhodes. Show beats up Rhodes. Rhodes bails after taking a big back body drop. Show sets up a table on the outside and picks up Rhodes. Rhodes slips off and chop blocks Show’s knee. Show rallies and continues to beat and toss Rhodes around. Show throws Rhodes and a table in the ring. He throws Rhodes at the table in the corner, but Rhodes rebounds off of it and hits the Beautiful Disaster. Rhodes charges, but Show shoulder blocks him. Rhodes bails. Show beats him up on the outside. Show throws Rhodes back into the ring and gets in the apron. Rhodes dropkicks Show, who steps through a table at ringside. The referee rules Rhodes the winner in 4:35. Stupid finish. A pissed off Show drops Rhodes after the match, then chokeslams him through a table. Crowd chants “One more time!” Show press slams Rhodes out of the ring through another table. Show leaves. Rhodes is helped up and manages to hold up his belt while looking like he’s near tears.
Edge DVD plug.
Matt Striker interviews Daniel Bryan. Will he become World Champion tonight? YES! YES! YES! Fun interview. He walks away and they show AJ sulking in the background.
Sheamus/Bryan hype video.
2/3 Falls Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan. Sheamus is wearing a t-shirt with “18 seconds” written on it, the time in which he beat Bryan for the title at WrestleMania. I timed it at 19 seconds, but that’s neither here nor there. Sheamus grabs a headlock and lands a shoulder block. They do a brief mat exchange. Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Bryan avoids it. Sheamus taunts Bryan with how close that was. They trade arm locks. Sheamus hits a Finlay Roll for 2. For some reason, I don’t know the proper name for that move. Sheamus rolls through a sunset flip and locks Bryan in a Texas Cloverleaf. Bryan gets the ropes. Sheamus goes for it again, but Bryan gets an inside cradle for 2. Sheamus beats up Bryan. Bryan lands a lariat. Sheamus rolls to the apron and Bryan dropkicks him to the floor. Bryan dives off the apron, but Sheamus catches him and sends him into the barricade. Back inside, Sheamus goes up top, but Bryan crotches him and goes on the attack. Bryan goes to work on Sheamus’ shoulder. They trade strikes. Bryan gets a reverse cradle for 2. More arm and shoulder torture inflicted by Bryan. Sheamus makes his comeback and beats up Bryan. Sheamus hits a fall away slam for 2. Bryan gets a schoolboy for 2. Bryan goes for a top rope Frankensteiner, but Sheamus holds on, then hits Bryan with a diving shoulder block for 2. Sheamus tries to suplex Bryan in from the apron, but Bryan lands on his feet, then low bridges Sheamus out of the ring on the other side. He goes for a dive, but Sheamus nails him. Back inside, Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge. Bryan turns it into a cradle for 2. Bryan goes for the Yes Lock, but Sheamus counters out repeatedly. Bryan sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post repeatedly, then kicks the shit out of it while Sheamus is against the ropes. This causes the referee to DQ Bryan, diving Sheamus the first fall at 14:30. Bryan goes back on the attack and applies the Yes Lock. Sheamus struggles, but goes out, and Bryan wins the second fall by referee stop at 16:39. Bryan celebrates while the ringside doctor checks on Sheamus. There are dueling “Yes!” and “No!” chants. Sheamus tells the doctor he can continue. Bryan charges Sheamus and eats a Brogue Kick. Delayed cover gets 2. They trade strikes. Bryan lands a big kick to the head for 2. Bryan goes up top. Sheamus cuts him off and goes for a superplex. Bryan fights him off and goes for a diving headbutt. Sheamus avoids it. Sheamus avoids Bryan in the corner and makes his comeback. Sheamus lands another Brogue Kick for the pin in 22:55. Very good match.
WWE YouTube channel plug.
Over the Limit commercial featuring Randy Orton.
Santino Marella is watching the monitor backstage. 2 jobbers are in the ring. Great Khali comes over to watch too.
The jobbers are named Aaron Relic and Jay Hatton. They cut a stupid promo about 2 being greater than one.
Handicap Match: Aaron Relic & Jay Hatton vs. Ryback. There’s a smattering of “Goldberg!” chants. The jobber with the ridiculous pants attacks Ryback to no avail. Ryback kills him. He orders the other jobber to tag in. The fellow wisely demurs. Ryback tosses him in anyway and kills him. Ryback hits the second jobber with a backpack stunner. Crowd chants “Finish him.” Ryback kills ridiculous pants with sort of a Fisherman buster Samoan drop, then pins them both in 1:50. Santino and Khali are impressed.
Matt Striker interviews WWE Champion CM Punk. Tonight he faces Chris Jericho, who has been insulting his family, in a Chicago Street Fight.
Plug for the PPV theme song.
Punk/Jericho hype video.
Chicago Street Fight for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho. This is Punk’s hometown, and members of his family are in the front row. They brawl, because this is a street fight, see. Punk throws some plunder into the ring. He whacks Jericho with a Singapore cane. Jericho drops Punk with a dropkick and gets hold of the cane. He whacks Punk, then hits his trademark springboard dropkick to the apron, sending Punk to the floor. Jericho beats up Punk on the outside. Back inside, Jericho exposes a turnbuckle. Punk fires back with chops. Jericho avoids the running knee to the corner and Punk takes another spill outside. Jericho beats up Punk right in front of his family. He gets in Punk’s sister’s face and gets slapped. Jericho lunges for her and Punk kicks his ass. Punk slams Jericho through the announce table cover. Punk goes for a piledriver, but Jericho back body drops him, then hits him with a monitor. Jericho breaks the other announce table cover over Punk’s back. Back inside, Jericho covers for 2. Jericho applies a rear chin lock. Punk escapes with a backdrop suplex. Punk pulls Jericho’s throat over the top rope and goes for his springboard lariat, but trips. Jericho wails on him with the Singapore cane. Jericho taunts Punk and gets caught with an inside cradle for 2. Jericho responds with something that gets 2. Jericho brings in a can of beer, which he pours on Punk. He brings in another beer and starts drinking it. Punk, meanwhile, starts kicking his ass. Punk hits the running knee to the corner and the bulldog headlock, then pulls the Singapore cane into Jericho’s balls and signals for the Go 2 Sleep. He goes for it, but Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho. Punk counters and hits a powerslam for 2. Punk goes up top, but Jericho crotches him. They fight on the top rope. Punk sends Jericho to the mat with a Mongolian chop, then hits the diving elbow drop for 2. Jericho counts the Go 2 Sleep again and hits a bulldog. He goes for the Lionsault, but Punk catches him, picks him up on h is shoulders, and goes for the Go 2 Sleep. Jericho counters again and throws Punk into a chair wedged between the turnbuckles. Jericho gets a schoolboy for 2. Jericho catches Punk with the Codebreaker and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Punk manages to reach the ropes. It’s a street fight, so the referee can’t force a break. Punk somehow gets hold of a fire extinguisher and sprays Jericho with it to escape the hold. Punk hits Jericho in the stomach with it and sends him to the floor. Another shot to the gut followed by a kick to the head by Punk. Jericho is on top of the Spanish announce table. Punk goes to the top rope and hits the diving elbow through the table. Punk throws Jericho back into the ring and covers for 2. Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice. Jericho whacks Punk with the Singapore cane to escape. Punk hits Jericho with a chair. Jericho catches him with a Codebreaker into the chair. Cover only gets 2. Jericho is getting frustrated. He beats on Punk some more. Jericho tries to give Punk the Go 2 Sleep, just to be a dick. Punk catches Jericho’s leg and catapults him into the exposed turnbuckle, then hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 25:14. This turned out to be a hell of a match. Punk celebrates with his friends and family.
Don’t try this at home!
Earlier tonight on the pre-show, Santino Marella defeated The Miz with the Cobra to retain the United States Championship.
The Bella Twins and Beth Phoenix bicker backstage. Eve Torres says Beth isn’t cleared to wrestle. Whichever Bella is champion will now defend the title against a surprise opponent who isn’t Kharma.
The show Nikki Bella beating Beth for the Divas title last week on Raw after Beth injured her ankle. The Bellas cut a promo. The opponent is the returning Layla.
WWE Divas Championship Match: Nikki Bella (c) (w/ Brie Bella) vs. Layla. They lock up. Lots of movement from Layla. Brie trips Layla behind the ref’s back, allowing Nikki to get the advantage. She DDTs Layla’s foot for 2. I fucking hate that spot. Layla gets an inside cradle for 1. Nikki does whatever. Layla hits a springboard cross body for 1, then knocks the other Bella off the apron. Nikki gets the advantage. Layla gets a wonky cradle. Nikki counters. The twins pull the switcheroo. Brie goes for a facebuster, but Layla turns it into a hangman’s neckbreaker for the pin to win the title in 2:28. This sucked.
Matt Striker asks John Laurinaitis what he and Triple H were talking about. Johnny doesn’t tell him.
Lesnar/Cena hype video.
Extreme Rules Match: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena. Lesnar takes Cena down and mauls him, then kills him with a lariat. Cena is cut already. The stop the match to check the cut. I hate that shit, but I guess Brock is used to it now. Cena charges Brock and gets taken down and mauled again. Cena is sent outside. He’s bleeding pretty bad. Cena fights back as goes for the Attitude Adjustment. Brock will have none of that and gives him a couple of German suplexes. Cena hits a shoulder block and knocks Brock into the referee. The ref is dead, and Brock kills Cena some more. Brock torments Cena’s arm with a Kimura, then tosses him from the ring again. Brock follows Cena out and tortures his arm some more. Back inside, Brock brings in Cena’s chain, then throws it aside because he’s Brock Lesnar and doesn’t need it. He thinks again and uses it to chain Cena’s legs together. Brock hangs Cena from the turnbuckle and massacres him for a while. Cena gets loose and fights back until he’s thrown into the steps. Brock throws the referee back into the ring and wakes him up. Cena has the chain his hand, but Brock steps on it and takes it away. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment. Brock counters and hits the F-5, but kills the referee again in the process. Another referee runs out, but the delay allows Cena to kick out. Brock clotheslines the new referee. Brock brings the steps into the ring. Cena does his “you can’t see me” and first back. Brock locks in a Kimura on top of the steps. Cena manages to pick Brock up and slam him on the steps. Cena goes for the diving Fameasser, but Brock avoids it. Brock prances on top of the steps while Cena struggles his way back into the ring. Cena makes it onto the apron and Brock launches himself at Cena, taking a bad tumble and injuring his knee in the process. Brock gets up and laughs it off. He charges Cena again, but Cena punches him with the chain. Brock is bleeding now. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on the steps for the pin in 17:42. Aside from the stupidity of putting Cena over in Brock’s first match back, this was awesome.
Cena takes the mic after the match and cuts a promo putting over Chicago. He says he’s going home, which is a lie.
Good show. There were a few really good matches. The main event is soured by the stupidity of Brock losing so quickly.
This is my first review in nearly 11 months. I hope I’ve still got it.
Jim Ross and Michael Hayes introduce the show. Apparently it’s some kind of legends night. The show Terry Funk, Lou Thesz, Gene Kiniski, Sam Muchnick, and Pat O’Connor arriving. They had dinner with NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ricky Steamboat had dinner with them. Buddy Rogers, Dory Funk Jr., and Harley Race are also there. Jim Herd says some kind words about them.
They play the national anthem. Pyro and ballyhoo.
Commercials. There’s a plug for the Wrestling Hotline. 1-900-909-9900. Not that I recommend trying that number in 2012.
Gary Michael Cappetta is the ring announcer.
The Samoan Swat Team (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) vs. The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette). Samu beats up Lane to start. Lane scores a shoulder block. They do some drop down and leap overs. Lane ends up getting a cross body for a 1 count. Samu accidentally knocks Fatu off the apron. Fatu recovers quickly and tags in to put a hurting on Lane. Lane is having none of that and tags in Eaton. Eaton hits a diving dropkick. I’m not going to dignify it with the name of missile dropkick. MX make quick tags and work over Fatu. Cornette hits Samu with the tennis racket on the outside, which pisses Samu off. MX continue working over Fatu. Fatu chops Lane in the throat and tags out. Lane gets a sunset flip on Samu for 2. The Samoans try to double team Lane in the corner, but Samu ends up accidentally decking Fatu again. Hayes on commentary calls this “a main event in any arena.” He must have hit the nose candy before they went on the air. MX work over Samu. The Samoans cut Lane off briefly, but Eaton gets the tag and cleans house. MX switch behind the referee’s back without making a tag, but they’re babyfaces so it’s okay. The match continues to drag. Lane gets a near fall off a jackknife hold. The referee took a while to count because everyone was in the ring. Samoans get the heat on Eaton. Lane gets the hot tag and runs wild. The Samoans conk heads, which we know has no effect on Samoans. Paul E. trips Lane. Cornette hits Fatu with the tennis racket. Samu kicks Lane. Fatu covers for 2. Fatu beats up Lane for a while. Fatu knocks Eaton off the apron. This pisses Eaton off, so he comes in to distract Tommy Young while the Samoans double team Lane. Fatu goes for a diving headbutt, but Lane avoids it. Samu and Eaton tag in. Eaton runs wild. He bonks the Samoans’ heads together. They shrug it off and headbutt him. One of the Samoans accidentally hits the other when Eaton moves. Clusterfuck ensues. MX hit the Rocket Laucher while Cornette decks Paul E. Fatu hits Eaton with Paul E’s cell phone and puts Samu on top. Samu pins Eaton in 20:33. Solid formulaic tag match, but felt long.
Next, The Great Muta!
Great Muta (w/ Gary Hart) vs. Steve Casey. Man, Muta is young here. He meditates, then blows mist into the air, the blows mist into Casey’s face and kicks his ass. Muta hits a handspring elbow to the corner, then hits a snapmare and clamps on a rear chin lock. Casey manages to hit an arm drag and works Muta’s arm a bit. Muta hits a nifty dropkick in the corner, then sends Casey outside and teases a dive. Hart throws Casey back into the ring and Muta hits a diving dropkick. Muta rakes Casey’s eyes and continues beating on him. Casey works Muta’s arm a bit more. Muta flips around and works on Casey’s leg. Muta drops Casey with a sweet roundhouse kick, then puts a claw on his armpit. Not a typo. Casey makes his comeback and runs wild briefly. Muta avoids a dropkick and sends Casey out of the ring with the kick that Shelton Benjamin would call the Dragon Whip 15 years later. Muta then wipes Casey out with a cross body to floor and throws him into the barricade. Back inside, Muta hits a backbreaker and finishes Casey with the moonsault press in 8:12. Fine little showcase for Muta. I love Muta, I love moonsaults, and I love Muta’s moonsaults.
Junkyard Dog comes out with a New Orleans marching band.
Junkyard Dog vs. “Hacksaw” Butch Reed (w/ Hiro Matsuda). Ross puts over that these two are old rivals from the Mid-South territory, appropriate since we’re in the Superdome in New Orleans. JYD lands a punc and Reed bails for a moment. They want to fight, but Teddy Long insists that they open up the hands. JYD grabs a side headlock, then some shoulder blocks. He does the doggie headbutting deal and sends Reed outside again. Reed dicks around for a bitm then comes back in. JYD works Reed’s arm some. JYD hits a hip toss and a body slam and continues to beat up Reed. Reed finally gets the advantage and beats up JYD. Reed drops some elbows for 2, then clamps on a chin lock. JYD almost goes down, but rallies and makes his comeback. BIG back body drop by JYD gets 2. Double clothesline spot. Reed hits a diving shoulder block and covers, but JYD gets his foot on the ropes. Reed stupidly celebrates. Matsuda distracts the ref. Reed collides with Matsuda. For some reason, this knocks Reed out and allows JYD to get the pin in 8:54. It wasn’t completely horrible.
Bob Orton Jr. (w/ Gary Hart) vs. “Captain Redneck” Dick Murdoch. Lock up. Orton hits a couple of fireman’s carrys. Spell check doesn’t like that word. Murdoch hits a fireman’s carry of his own. They trade arm wringers. I approve. The work around arm locks for some time, and I’m perfectly fine with that. Murdoch escapes a rough spot and they lock up again. Orton puts a hurting on the back of Murdoch’s head. Murdoch fights back on spaghetti legs (term stolen from Jim Ross). Murdoch lands a dropkick and Orton takes a front bump into the turnbuckles. Murdoch drops Orton with a BIG right hand. Murdoch rolls to the floor and beats up Orton on the apron. Orton rallies and goes for the superplex. Murdoch fights him off and lands some blows. Orton rakes the eyes. Murdoch catches Orton coming into the corner and drops him. Murdoch goes for the brainbuster, but Hart trips him and Orton lands on top for the pin in 9:47. I dug the hell out of this.
NWA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Road Warriors (c) (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. Mike Rotunda & “Dr. Death” Steve Williams of The Varsity Club (w/ Kevin Sullivan). Hawk and Rotunda start. Hawk gets the better of it and Rotunda bails. Hawk gives chased, but is blocked by referee Teddy Long. Animal tags in. He gets whipped towards the enemy corner and drops Doc with an elbow smash. Animal press slams Rotunda. Doc runs in and gets the same treatment. Hawk and Doc tag in and brawl. Hawk hits an atomic drop and a clothesline. Cover, but Rotunda pulls him off. Doc hits a clothesline and taunts Animal. Rotunda tags in and hits an elbow drop for 2. Hawk kicks out with authority. Animal tags in and grabs a headlock. Doc tags in and Animal gabs him too. They go for a backdrop suplex, but Animal flips out and dropkicks them, then hits a double clothesline. Animal gets low bridged out of the ring. Doc drops him in the hard floor. Back inside, the heels get the heat on Animal. Hawk gets the tag, but the referee didn’t see it. Animal continues to play face in peril. He eventually drops Rotunda with a lariat. Doc prevents him from making the tag. Animal clotheslines Doc. Hawk gets the hot tag and runs wild. Clusterfuck ensues. Animal shoves the ref. Doomsday Device on Rotunda. Sullivan and Ellering brawl on the floor. Long refuses to count for the Road Warriors. Doc schoolboys Hawk and Long makes a fast count to give the Varsity Club the titles in 11:37. Okay match. This must be the beginning of Teddy’s heel turn and becoming a manager.
Jim Ross interviews some pissed off Road Warriors and Paul Ellering at ringside.
Ranger Ross vs. The Iron Sheik (w/ Rip Morgan). America vs. Iran. Sheik sings the Iranian national anthem, then jumps Ross and chokes him with his robe. Sheik hits a side suplex, then chokes Ross with his own shirt. Ross hits a suplex for 1. Rosss beats up Sheik. Sheik applies an abdominal stretch. Ross rallies and kicks Sheik in the head. Cover. Morgan hits Ross with the flag to cause the DQ in 1:55. Sheik and Morgan attack Ross. Junkyard Dog makes the save.
Bob Caudle interviews Ric Flair, who is going for his 6th World Championship tonight.
NWA United States Tag Team Championship Match: Rick Steiner & Eddie Gilbert (c) of The First Family (w/ Missy Hyatt) vs. Kevin Sullivan & Dan Spivey of The Varsity Club. The heels attack the champs before the bell and get the jump on them. The much larger Spivey beats up Gilbert. The much shorter Sullivan tags in and provokes Steiner, who kindly distracts referee Tommy Young so Spivey can beat up Gilbert on the outside. Gilbert continues to take abuse from the Varsity Club. Steiner gets the tag and runs wild on Spivey. Powerslam gets 2. Steiner hits a belly to belly. Sullivan breaks the cover. Clusterfuck ensues. Steiner clotheslines Spivey and both tumble out of the ring. Gilbert nails Sullivan with Hyatt’s Gucci bag and cradles him for the pin in 3:51, even though neither were legal. The Varsity Club beat up Gilbert, but Steiner makes the save with a chair. It was short.
2/3 Falls Match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat (c) (w/ Bonnie & Richie Steamboat) vs. “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair. Terry Funk has joined Jim Ross for commentary on this match. Flair and Steamboat lock up. Steamboat pushes Flair into the corner and slaps him. They trade holds and do some amateur-type stuff o the mat. Steamboat slaps the piss out of Flair again, then wins a power arm lock contest. Flair gets the ropes to break and bails. They lock up again. Steamboat hits a hip toss and gets a side headlock takeover. They work around the headlock for a bit. I always enjoy that. They trade chops. Back to the headlock. Flair forces Steamboat into the corner and chops him. Steamboat replies with a chop that knocks Flair off his feet. Steamboat hits a big back body drop. Flair lands a closed fist punch. Steamboat gets a reverse cradle for 2, then hits a clothesline and goes back to the headlock. Steamboat beats up Flair a bit. Flair face plants and Steamboat covers for 2. Flair hits an inverted atomic drop. Steamboat drops Flair with another chop for 2. Steamboat hits a shoulder block for 2. Another chop gets 2 for Steamboat. Flair bails and face plants at ringside. Back inside, Flair lands some chops. Steamboat responds in kind. Steamboat gets another near fall. Steamboat hits a vertical suplex and goes for a splash, but Flair gets his knees up. Flair goes to work on Steamboat. Flair hits a butterfly suplex and tries to hold Steamboat down, but gets only a series of 2 counts. Steamboat fires back, but whiffs a dropkick. Flair goes for the figure-four, but Steamboat cradles him ala Chi-Town Rumble. Flair cuts back the cradle and pins Steamboat to win the first fall in 19:35. Commercials. They go at it again. Steamboat hits a diving chop for 2. Flair hits a backdrop suplex and a knee drop. He misses a second knee drop and Steamboat attacks his leg. Steamboat locks in the figure-four. Flair suffers for a moment, but gets the ropes. Steamboat locks on a crab hold. Flair gets another rope break and hides out in the corner. Steamboat goes back on the attack anyway. They do some more sweet mat wrestling, then end up outside. Flair sends Steamboat into the barricade and slams him on the floor. Coming back inside, Flair jerks Steamboat’s neck down across the ropes. Flair suplexes Steamboat back inside for 2. Flair applies an abdominal stretch and turns it into a ground Cobra Twist for 2. Flair tries to pin Steamboat with his feet on the ropes, but fails. Steamboat gets a reverse cradle for 2, then a jackknife hold for 2. Flair goes back on the offensive. He goes up top, but Steamboat cuts him off and hits a superplex. Steamboat applies a double chickenwing armlock and Flair submits to give Steamboat the second fall in 35:03. Insta-commercials. They keep going hard at it. Flair hits a shin breaker and applies the figure-four. Steamboat quickly gets the ropes. Flair argues with the referee. They do some stuff. Flair does the Flair flip in the corner and runs into a chop from Steamboat on the apron. Flair begs off, then trips up Steamboat and goes for the Flair pin in the corner, but only gets 2. Steamboat misses Flair in the corner and gets hung their briefly, injuring his knee. Flair goes to work on the leg and reapplies the figure-four. Steamboat suffers for a while, but finally roles into the ropes. Flair sends Steamboat’s bad leg into the apron. Flair hits a diving cross body for 2. Steamboat goes for a slam, but his leg gives out and Flair gets another 2 count. Steamboat hits a flying headbutt and a chop, then comes off the top with the diving cross body for 2. Steamboat hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Steamboat goes for a springboard sunset flip. Flair fights it, but Steamboat gets him over for 2. Flair clamps on a sleeper hold. Steamboat nearly goes out, but rallies and manages to send Flair outside. Back inside, Steamboat lands an enzuigiri for 2. Steamboat comes off the top rope, but Flair avoids it and goes back to work on Steamboat’s leg. They trade chops. Steamboat wins the exchange and beats up Flair int he corner. Flair goes for an inverted atomic drop, but Steamboat blocks it and chops him. Cover, but Flair gets his foot on the rope. Flair elbows Steamboat on the head and hits a backdrop suplex. Flair goes up top again. Steamboat throws him off. Steamboat gets the chickenwing armlock again. Steamboat’s leg gives out and they fall back, putting both mens’ shoulders on the mat. Steamboat lifts his at the last second and gets the pin in 55:30, even though Flair’s foot is under the rope. Steamboat retains the title. Great match, but I disagree with those who say this is better than Chi-Town Rumble. Insta-commercials.
Jim Ross interviews NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ricky Steamboat. He’s ready to move on from Ric Flair. They examine the video and see that Flair’s foot was on the bottom rope. Steamboat agrees that Flair deserves another shot.
Enjoyable show. Flair/Steamboat is a classic and I really dug the Orton/Murdoch match and the Muta showcase.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,000 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 33 trips to carry that many people.
It’s been a bit. Let’s see if I remember how to do one of these.
WWE open, AWESOME PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo. We are LIVE from Chicago. Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T are the announcer. Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers. Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich are the Spanish announcers.
Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Sin Cara vs. Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Heath Slater vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane. Everybody brawls. The big guys (Kane, Barrett, and Sheamus) clear the ring and brawl amongst themselves. Kane clotheslines the others out of the ring, then tries to bring in a ladder. Bryan dropkcks it into him. Slater and Gabriel do the same to Bryan. Cara tries to do the same to them, but they duck and nail him with the ladder. Slater gets the ladder in the ring and sets it up. Gabriel knocks him off and walks the ladder toward the center. Bryan dropkicks him off. Rhodes throws Bryan into the ladder. He tries to climb, but Sheamus cuts him off and goes for the Razor’s Edge. Rhodes counters, goes for the Beautiful Disaster, and hits Slater with it. Sheamus uses the ladder to beat up Rhodes. Kane throws Sheamus and Rhodes out of the ring. Barrett jumps Kane. Kane rallies and disposes of Barrett, then beats up Slater. Kane goes up top, but Cara knocks him down with a kick. Gabriel drops Cara. Bryan ducks Gabriel and hits a tope suicida on somebody. Gabriel, Slater, and Cara all hit dives too. Cara, Gabriel, and Slater do stuff in the ring. Cara gets rid of both of them. Bryan appears on the top rope. Cara hits him with a kick, then hits a one-man Spanish Fly off the top rope. Cara goes out for a ladder, but Barrett boots him down. Barrett builds a ladder bridge from the apron to the Spanish table. Uh oh. Barrett misses Sin Cara and accidentally clotheslines the post. Cara goes back in the ring and eats a brogue kick from Sheamus. Sheamus powerbombs Cara off the apron through the ladder bridge. Fucking ouch. Sheamus beats up more people with a ladder. Cara is stretchered out. Kane and Sheamus brawl in the ring. Bryan, Kane, and Rhodes all bring in ladders, then drop them and start brawling. Kane takes them both out and climbs the ladder. The former members of The Corre cut him off. Rhodes takes advantage of the distraction to climb the ladder. The ex-Corre cut him off too. Bryan climbs and gets the same treatment. Barrett climbs the ladder. His former teammates cut him off and beat him up, then throw him out of the ring. Gabriel and Slater climb the ladder and fight over the briefcase. Rhodes knocks the ladder over and gives Slater the Cross Rhodes. Rhodes climbs the ladder. Barrett cuts him off. Rhodes gives him the Cross Rhodes too. Rhodes climbs the ladder again. Sheamus cuts him off and hits the uranage backbreaker. Bryan cuts off Sheamus and rams his head into the ladder. Sheamus and Kane hit Bryan with a Doomsday Device! Sheamus and Kane brawl. Kane eventually takes him out, then chokeslams Rhodes, then chokeslams Gabriel. Kane climbs the ladder. Bryan cuts him off. Kane tries to chokeslam him, but Bryan turns it into some kind of arm lock. Bryan dives at Kane, gets caught, but somehow turns it to his advantage. Slater climbs the ladder. Bryan cuts him off too. Slater hits a neckbreaker off the ladder. Slater climbs again, but Barrett cuts him off. Barrett crotches Slater on the top turnbuckle, then beats up Sheamus. Barrett brings a third ladder into the ring. Barrett and Sheamus hit Slater with it, then launch him to the floor. Sheamus hits Barrett and Rhodes with brogue kicks, then hits Gabriel with a Polish Hammer. Sheamus drops Gabriel face first across the ladder, then gives him a brogue kick. Sheamus climbs the ladder. Kane comes up the other side and brawls with him. Kane chokeslams Sheamus off the ladder into another ladder. Ouch. Barrett, Rhodes, and Bryan attack Kane. Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster. Barrett hits the Wasteland. Gabriel hits Kane with the 450 splash in an impressively small space. Barrett gives Gabriel the Wasteland out of the ring onto Slater. Barrett drops Bryan and gives Rhodes a pumphandle slam. Barrett climbs the ladder. Rhodes pulls him down and clotheslines him out of the ring. Bryan climbs the ladder. Rhodes tries to stop him, but gets elbowed in the face. They fight up the ladder. Barrett climbs up the other side and tries to take the briefcase. Bryan guillotines Rhodes, then elbows Barrett in the face. Barrett sets up Bryan for the Wasteland. Bryan counters with the elbow flurry, then drops Barrett with a kick. Bryan gets the briefcase in 24:26. BRYAN WINS~! HOLY SHIT! Great match. Bryan gets the honor of being the first guy to cash in and fail.
Earlier tonight, Vince McMahon, Johnny Ace, and some lawyer arrived.
WWE Divas Championship Match: Kelly Kelly (c) (w/ Eve Torres) vs. Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella). Kelly slaps Brie and goes on the attack. Kelly tries a headscissors, fucks it up horrible, and sort of recovers. Brie goes to confer with her twin. Kelly hits them both with a dive. Back inside, Kelly sort of goes for a tarantula and gets sent face first into the floor. Nikki puts the boots to Kelly behind the referee’s back. Back inside, Brie goes beats up Kelly for a while. Kelly makes her comeback and hits a neckbreaker for 2. Brie blocks the Rocker Dropper. Kelly blocks a backslide. Cover gets 2. Brie DDTs Kelly’s foot. Cover gets 2. I’m fucking serious. Kelly hits the Rocker Dropper for the pin in 4:48. It wasn’t the worst match I’ve ever seen.
Big Show/Mark Henry hype video.
Mark Henry vs. The Big Show. The two big bruisers tear into each other. Show hits Henry with a shoulder block and Henry rolls to the floor. They brawl at ringside. Henry dropkicks the steps into Show’s knee. Back inside, Henry goes to work on the knee. Show fight out of a half crab. Henry squashes Show in the corner. He tries it again, but is met with a boot. Show dives off the bottom rope and hits Henry with a shoulder block. Show goes for the chokeslam. Henry takes out his knee and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for 2. Henry hits another World’s Strongest Slam and 2 big splashes for the pin in 5:58. It was okay. After the match, Henry gets a chair and Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb. Show is driven out on a letter stretcher cart thingy.
Vince McMahon complains to Johnny Ace backstage. Josh Matthews comes in and asks him of he’s resigned CM Punk. Vince says no, then bitches about Punk being an ingrate.
Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. Everybody grabs a ladder during their entrance and brings it into the ring, so we start with a ladder fight. Del Rio is buried under ladder at ringside. They even have mini ladders. Bourne and Kofi brawl atop a mini ladder, then used it to hit people. Rey takes Swagger out of the ring with a rana. Riley drops Truth’s balls in a ladder, then hits him with a knee. Riley climbs up the midget ladder. Miz cuts him off. This is stupid. Riley takes out Miz and Swagger with a dive. Truth break dances and hits a Space Flying Tiger Drop onto the pile. Mysterio and Kofi hit stereo dives off the top rope. Bourne hits a Shooting Star press off of a ladder onto everyone. Bourne goes back into the ring and climbs a proper ladder. Miz cuts him off. They fight on top. Del Rio pushes the ladder over. Miz starts selling his knee. Medics come out to check on him. Del Rio climbs the ladder. Truth stops him. Miz is helped to the back. Truth climbs the ladder. Del Rio climbs the other side. Bourne and Mysterio climb over them, but are pulled down. They both hit Frankensteiners. Swagger drops Bourne and Truth. Kofi springboards over Swagger and climbs the ladder. Swagger locks in the ankle lock. Riley climbs the ladder. Swagger notices and brawls with him top of the ladder. Truth pushes it over. A ladder bridge gets set up in the corner. Kofi, Truth, and Rey do some stuff with it. Kofi comes off of it with a Boom Drop onto Truth. Del Rio charges Kofi, but ends up diving under the ladder to the floor. More ladder spots. Swagger gets hit in the face with one. Mysterio gives Truth a 619. Riley and Mysterio fight on top of the ladder. There are a bunch of ladders in the ring now. Everybody climbs up and tries to get the briefcase. Del Rio takes a face bump into the ladder bridge. Guys continue brawling up top. Bourne takes a bump off a ladder to the floor. Kofi ends up on top alone. Swagger makes it back in to cut him off. They both fall to the floor. Miz hobbles back down to a big pop and goes for the briefcase. Mysterio cuts him off and gets booed. Mysterio powerbombs Miz to the crown. Del Rio cuts off Mysterio from getting the briefcase. Mysterio says “fuck that” and knocks him down. Del Rio climbs the opposite side of the ladder. Mysterio hits him with the briefcase. Del Rio takes Mysterio’s mask off. A bunch of ladders fall over. Del Rio climbs back up and takes it in 15:52. Fun match, but nowhere near the Smackdown ladder match.
WrestleMania travel package advertisement.
Randy Orton/Christian hype video.
Josh Matthews interviews Alberto Del Rio, who is mad that he had to be in Money In The Bank after winning a #1 Contender Match a couple of weeks ago.
World Heavyweight Championship Match: Randy Orton (c) vs. Christian. Orton can lose the title by DQ. Christian brings a chair into the ring in an attempt to get Orton to get himself DQ’d. Orton teases it, then throws the chair out of the ring. Christian shaves Orton. Orton decks him and kicks his ass. Christian fights back, but eats a clothesline. This is a heel crowd tonight. They’re booing Orton. Orton slides back into the ring to avoid a dive, then throws Christian into the steps. Back inside, Christian rallies and hits the diving elbow smash for 2. Christian beats on Orton for a time. Orton awesomely avoids Christian in the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2. Christian hits a spinebuster for 2. Orton counters the Killswitch and clotheslines Christian, sending them both to the floor. Back inside, Orton gets a jackknife hold for 2, then hits a Lou Thesz press. Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Christian counters. Christian dives at Orton, but gets caught with a dropkick. Cover gets 2. Orton goes for a superplex, but Christian knocks him down and hits a diving headbutt for 2. Orton makes a comeback, but Christian cuts him off and hits the Killswitch for 2. Christian goes for a spear, but Orton leapfrogs him and hits a swank gutwrench into a neckbreaker. Orton goes for the punt, misses, and hits a powerslam. He hits the DDT OF MURDER on the second try, then humps the mat. Christian spits in Orton’s face. Orton gets pissed off and beats on him. Orton kicks Christian straight in the balls to cause the DQ and lose the title in 12:19. Christian is crowned champion. Orton kicks his ass at ringside. Teddy Long comes down to try to settle Orton down. Orton gives Christian the RKO on the Spanish announce table. Orton starts to leave, then comes back down to a big pop and gives Christian another RKO on the table.
SummerSlam commercial again.
John Cena/CM Punk hype video.
CM Punk comes out to an insanely loud hero’s welcome in his home town. Cena comes out to the loudest fucking boos I’ve ever heard. He’s all business tonight and even has the belt around his waist.
WWE Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs. CM Punk. They lock up and trade holds. Cena ducks a high kick. Man, this crowd is hot. Cena gets a takedown. They trade holds some more. Punk hits a big hip toss and gets a side headlock takeover. They counters each others’ finish. Punk lands some kicks. Cena hits a bulldog headlock for 2, then grabs a headlock and works it. Punk escapes and gets a 2 count. There’s a high pitched “LET’S GO CENA” chant alternating with a much deeper “CENA SUCKS!” chant. Cena hits a Fisherman suplex for 2. Lawler just said he didn’t think there was a single Cena fan in the arena, so he didn’t just hear those loud ass chants. Punk hits a DDT for 2, then applies a headscissors. Punk escapes an Attitude Adjustment predicament and throws Cena to the floor. Punk sets Cena in the apron and hits a diving enzui knee drop! Back inside, cover gets 2. Cena goes for the STF and fails. Punk clamps on a rear chin lock. Punk hits a diving cross body to Cena’s knee for 2. Cena sells the knee. Punk tries to suplex Cena in from the apron, but Cena suplexes Punk to the floor! Back inside, cover gets 2. Cena hits an elbow drop for 2. Cena hits a nifty suplex/powerslam for 2. Punk lands some punches to big cheers. Cena locks in an abdominal stretch to boos. Punk escapes with a hip toss. Double knockdown spot. Cena starts his comeback, but Punk catches him with a schoolboy for 2. Cena concludes his comeback and goes for the “You can’t see me” gesture, but Punk kicks him in the head, knocks him to the floor, and hits a tope suicida! Back inside, Punk goes for the springboard lariat, but Cena avoids it. Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and goes for the Attitude Adjustment. Punk sort of lands on his feet and lands a flurry of kicks for 2. Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep. Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for 2. Punk counters the Attitude Adjustment and hits 2 knee strikes and a bulldog headlock. Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2. Punk lands more kicks. Cena locks in the STF. Punk gets a rope break. Punk kills Cena with a high kick for 2. Punk hits a diving cross body. Cena rolls through, lifts him, and goes for the Attitude Adjustment. Punk counters and goes for the Go 2 Sleep. Cena counters into the STF again. Punk escapes and locks in the Anaconda Vice! Cena fights out and hits the Attitude Adjustment for 2. Cena comes off the top rope, but Punk sort of counters into a sit-out powerbomb for 2. Punk signals for the Go 2 Sleep. He goes for it, but Cena drops to the apron and pulls Punk’s head across the top rope. Cena hits the diving Fameasser for 2. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment again, and PUNK KICKS OUT AGAIN! Cena tries to set up a SUPER ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, but Punk clubbers Cena’s head with elbows! Punk hits a top rope Frankensteiner. Cena rolls to the ropes. Punk hits the running knee and the Go 2 Sleep, but only catches Cena in the middle. Cena falls out of the ring. Punk throws Cena back in the ring. Vince McMahon and Johnny Ace come out. Cena locks Punk in the STF. Vince tries to call for the bell. He sends Ace to do his bidding, but Cena decks him. Cena yells at Vince that he can win this himself. He goes after Punk, but Punk catches him and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin to win the title at 33:44. Great pro wrestling match right here, kids. Punk celebrates with the belt. Vince looks almost as morose as Dana White did after Brock Lesnar lost the UFC Heavyweight title. Vince takes King’s headset and yells at someone to send Alberto Del Rio out here. Del Rio runs out. Punk kills him with a high kick. Punk blows Vince a kiss and leaves through the crowd with his belt. What will happen next as the WWE Universe Turns?
Really good show with a couple of great matches.
I accomplished my big goal of 2010, which was to watch and review every WWE and TNA TV show of the year. I really enjoy writing these reviews. However, I started falling behind in January due to personal problems, and thanks to a very heavy workload in college this past semester I kept getting further and further behind. Now it’s July and I’m just now watching stuff from late March. I’m never going to get caught up without completely dedicating my life to wrestling, which I can’t and don’t want to do. I have books I want to read and research I want to do, movies I want to watch, and a life I’d like to live. With this and school starting up again at the end of August, I just can’t watch 4 months of wrestling, get caught up, and stay caught up. I’ll try to get familiar with recent happenings through the great radio shows at F4WOnline.com. I may endeavor to watch PPVs and important TV shows, but I can’t watch every Raw, Impact, Superstars, and Smackdown from April to July, especially since a lot of those shows just aren’t enjoyable to watch (especially almost every Impact). For a while now, I’ve been wanting to go through and review PPVs and TV shows through the 90s and early 2000s. I hope to find time for that someday, because I really do like writing these reviews. For now, I’m going on hiatus or at least going part time. Since this is professional wrestling we’re dealing with, let’s just say that I’m retiring, that way you can be sure I’ll be back one day.
WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo. Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers. Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.
Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barreta. Hawkins grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block. Barreta does drop down, leap frog, elbow smash. Cover gets 2. Hawkins backs Barreta into the corner and slaps him. Barreta gets pissed and fires back. Hawkins slides under the ropes and trips Barreta in the process, then pulls him to the floor. Back inside, Hawkins puts a beating on Barreta. Barreta tries to rally, beat eats a clothesline. Cover gets 2. Barreta fights out of a hold, flips out of a backdrop suplex, and hits Hawkins with an enzuigiri. Hawkins falls to the floor. Barreta hits a Space Flying Tiger Drop. Back inside, Barreta hits a springboard dropkick for 2. Hawkins counters the tornado DDT and hits a body slam for 2. Barreta counters a move and hits the tornado DDT for the pin in 5:20. Fine little match.
Tonight, six-woman tag match. Ugh.
Josh Matthews and Scott Stanford are now the announcers. Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.
Awesome Undertaker/Triple H hype video.
Snooki hype video leading to the horrible Snooki & Trish/LayCool bar fight from Raw.
Edge/Alberto Del Rio hype video.
WWE Champion The Miz on Conan O’Brian.
Divas tag match next. Ugh again.
WWE bullshit fact of the night.
Melina & The Bella Twins vs. WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres, Natalya, & Gail Kim. One of the Bellas beats up Natalya. Natalya hits a snap suplex and a basement dropkick for 2. Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but the Bella reaches the ropes. Natalya pulls her up and down for 2. Melina tags in and gets slammed by Natalya. Gail tags in. Natalya throws her on top of Melina for 2. Melina misses the splits and eats a basement dropkick. Gail beats up Melina for a bit. Gail tries to springboard, but Melina pulls her down across the top rope. Gail gets caught in the heel corner and they get the heat on her. Melina goes for the Code Red, but Gail counters it. Gail plants Melina with a powerbomb. Eve gets the hot tag and runs wild until Melina low bridges her out of the ring. Clusterfuck ensues. Bellas pull the switcheroo. Eve goes for her neckbreaker drop, but the Bella hits her with an X Factor for the pin in 6:24. There ya go.
The opener was fun, at least.